#idk if that'll happen
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I desperately need Max's next merch drop to include that zip-up hoodie in green
#idk if that'll happen#but I've been wearing the same zip up The Wonder Years hoodie for like...12 years#and I will continue to use it until I destroy it#but it would be nice to have a back up other hoodie ya know#and I already have too many black pull over hoodies#i say like I didn't buy lando's nowins hoodie this week#but still#i want the MV zip up hoodie in green#that is all#max verstappen
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forever crying and screaming because i couldn't make it to the Jhariah, Pinkshift and Pollyanna concert happening IN MY STATE 😭
#blaire.txt#I WANTED TO GO SO FUCKING BADLY#I REALLY REALLY DID#but a number of things ended up getting in the way of me going :(#namely it being on a day my mom is working#me not having a phone#me not wanting to go w/ my mom#and not being able to drive#just. augh i like watching the clips jhariah posts of the tour it looks so FUN and i want to BE THERE but. it wasnt meant to be this time#😭😭😭😭#I REALLY WANT TO GO TO A JHARIAH CONCERT SOMEDAY THOUGH... hopefully one day i'll have a phone and friends to go with#the worst part is I ACTUALLY HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO AFFORD TICKETS...#just. PAIN#i want to go to concerts with friends but i dont. have . irl friends. im bad at meeting people irl. how do u do that#like i mainly meet people online by sheer luck or because i followed them or met them on toyhouse or met them through another friend#how do i make irl friends . my main interests are ocs and casinos . how do i translate that into IRL Friendly Interests#i like drawing and art in all its forms so i usually have made friends that way in the past but... im shy /lh#SORRY SORRY OFF TOPIC but. im never recovering from missing jhariah and pinkshift and pollyanna tour .#i would KILL to see jhariah perform RISK RISK RISK! live and honestly i would IMPLODE if i heard flight of the crows or pressure bomb#SPLIT! too i would SCREAM#honestly i'd also die if i heard a lesson in dramatics live but... considering it's a collab between jhariah and save face#idk if that'll happen#jhariahposting
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Me, several years ago: "I'll never try digital 3D art... just have no interest to learn it. Already have learned other art forms that I barely use anyway... so why add to that ?..."
Me, currently: [Is attempting to model a donut in Blender] "... uh... I can explain..."
#7rambles#idk what compelled me to attempt Blender finally but gosh...#no... actually I know why...#so I was thinking on how hard it would be to animate PJ... (yep it all comes back to that sass blob) in 2D...#and then I visualized him in a 3D art style and just went ....“welp - gotta at least attempt that...”#but man this program - even with my knowledge of ADOBE products and LIVE2D - feels overwhelming...#so... gotta go through a tutorial and the donut one seemed like the most comprehensive one!#soooooooooooooo will I ever get to the point of modeling PJ?#uh... after I give him an updated reference sheet XD#and who knows when that'll happen#gosh... this plus wanting to do that Miku Miku Beam meme thing... and a separate drawing thing I want to do for a KPop group...#now I'm running into the “all inspiration - zero time” rut of creating things XD
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It's officially been over a year (HOW??) since i've been a neil newbon enjoyer and an unofficial Tom DeVille Meme Purveyor so i'd like to bring you all some of my favorite neil faces
(the uh-oh hands are always a delight and there are so many of them that i can't put them all here but. you can find a bunch more in my tag
#it has just been wonderful to see him blossom over this past year#i am so grateful for his infectious joy.#i hope to draw him at some point but idk if that'll happen#i have a couple unfinished astarion drawings that i might at least get to the point where i can post them#neil newbon#nobigneil
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i think its some of damiens responsiblity to think what kinda relationship he cultivaded with his fans. and why is centering his need for explaning, defending and further protecting his self/image is his knee jerk reaction. unless you do those things a social media break is just another way of image management. plus it wont feel better when you come back and you are still centering your image which causes you too act defensive/childish. you cant support things thru acts of fear and nervousness and not expact them to crumble! i know people joked abour his virtue signalling in the past, and they are jokes, but its a curious thing people notice that around him enough to point that out. i hope he can actually look into that part of himself with a more honest critical lense.also these twitch stream where he wants this magicaly ''positive'' enviroment where people can ''escape'' is just unrealistic at best. this is a livestream where people rush on each other to talk to you. its by nature feeding into these things im afraidi positivity is not the warm blanket you think it is, its more of a trap lol
#some thoughts#blocking fans in general is a very emotional but stupid move lol(to me) as a somewhat public figure he must understand that block feature i#practically useless to him other than get his frustration out maybe for a minute? then what?#it only creates a snowball effect.#idk its feels counterproductive altho i can still understand where the frustration is coming from#stan twitter can be nasty. getting cussed by 17 year old with no emotional regulation and too much time lol#anyways this is absolutely not about him having the perfect response/apology.. that'll happen and idc about pr managing his reactions lol#also personally i dont find the joke much of a big deal. its whatever. lazy lowblow at worst#he just needs to be realistic about his internet presence and how it interacts with his defensive/nervous personality#and in grand scheme of things the way he interacts with ''activism''.. its not for him/about him.#at the end this reaction is a part of him! he can do what he will with that#hope he has people around him that can be critical about his intentions/reactions without it being taken as a personal attack
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Imagine briar country wins they war and the humans offer KoD as a tribute as part of a piece treaty and Maleanor offers him to Lillia as a way of thanking him for his services. So now Lillia has this pretty little pet, what will he do? Get that man pregnant, obviously, and so KoD gives birth to Silver
Omg... I'm imagining this happening if Briar Country takes action way faster than they did in canon. When there were only a couple small towns worth of humans in the entire country, if they didn't hesitate when they realized humans were taking their resources, and they stamped them out right then
I don't think KoD would have been born at that time, so maybe a select few were saved for breeding. The docile ones, still strong enough to survive briar country's powerful magic in day to day life... They'd all have that sweet demeanor that we know Silver and KoD for (and that I'd imagine Sebby's dad has as well) it's cute <3 by the time 400 years roll by, they'd all be properly bred into adoring little dogs for the fae awe
But anyway, this is about Lilia.. Meleanor giving him a human pet is so silly to me LOL trying to drag her husband off that little bat fae for herself, sorry Lilia, here's a consolation pet though have fun. And Lilia doesn't even want him...
Thinking about KoD following Lilia around, asking him if he needs anything, bringing him drinks and snacks, cleaning his messes. Lilia will ignore him and tell him to go manage the garden if he's so bored.. Uuuu and he sleeps at the foot of Lilia's bed..... <3
(nsfw under cut)
I think it's reasonable to assume that KoD wouldn't know even the first thing about sex, but he WOULD have a sex drive like crazy (hormonal teen...) whether Lilia reciprocates it or not, he's the only one KoD has there to think about and pine for. He wants to be good like he was trained to be from the moment he was old enough to walk, but he can't help himself if he grinds against him a little or gets touchy at night. Lilia scolds him for it every time, but he doesn't know what he's doing, it just feels good!!
Lilia snapping at some point and teaching him properly what his body wants is good 🤤 KoD isn't expecting it to be so hands on and dirty, he tries to stop Lilia over and over because he shouldn't be dirtying his hands with his own pet's wet fluids, but the words never quite come out right because he gets overwhelmed!! Lilia is really good with his tongue, poor little dawn...
#twst#twisted wonderland#lilia vanrouge#lilidawn#sure?? That'll work as a ship name#idk if there's a more used one and I just forgot it lol#knight of dawn#book 7 spoilers#twst book 7#not totally sold on lilia getting him pregnant with silver... we didn't get to see much of leia but she's still part of him </3#but I DO think#lilia sets up a playdate with KoD and leia to keep him occupied while he goes and fucks with I mean have a professional talk with laverne#and he comes back to his extremely hormonal 16 year old pet human pregnant like really lilia what did you expect to happen#asks
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obviously they won't say anything about it because they only comment on things that are nonsensical, but even kcarats are mad about this collab so i do wonder if they'll end up saying anything or will just act stupid lmfao
#like at a certain point you gotta address it#you can't simply brush off every valid criticism as just ''haters''#like don't post a video of you fanboying over the fuckass in prob hopes of fans going omggg his dream came true#i often think artists don't owe their fans anything in terms of music their time and privacy#but they do owe fans some respect and being linked with this dude for sure is not it lmao#like were they truly expecting for their fanbase who is mainly female to be liek yaaay a song with a dude that hates women!! so fun!!#ah so sorry i'm just still so annoyed will be annoyed for a while#thought about getting back into giffing them this month but yeah i don't think that'll happen#not that anyone cares i could deactivate and people wouldn't notice LMFAO#yeah idk it's just shitty i get liking an artist and not knowing anything about them truly me with so many#but when you're gonna collab when you're gonna basically invite them to be a part of your brand your project....#you need to be a little more careful about it and think is this going to alienate my already existing fanbase#is this someone that i want to be associated with basically#b.txt
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bringing back readers erratic behavior in this chapter we love to see it. shes swinging around with 'this can't be real I'm dreaming' 'this is real this is depressing' 'this cant be real i want my home back' 'wait if this is real what does it even matter its not MY life' 'wait shouldn't i try to make this a good life what if I'm stuck with it' and so on and so forth till eventually she hits a wall face first
#sophie speaks#series:www#me: is anyone going to give this girl the worst coping mechanisms on earth?#and i dont wait for an answer#like eventually shes gotta chill out about it but idk when that'll happen#shits gotta stop happening to her for her to stop reacting in increasingly bizarre ways which. it wont be#i mean spoilers but im sure u can see how this fic is going to go#reader is a magnet for chaos and I'm like. not even sure that's metaphorical
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Teen Raz and Lili designs aw yeah baby
I was watching an interview with Nikki Rapp on YouTube because she's the best and I love her, and she actually talked about Raz and Lili a lot (yippeeee) and she talked about how interesting their dynamic is, and how it would develop as they got older, when their teenagers, etc. AUGH isn't she just the BEST
But yeah, that made me want to draw some teen designs for these two
I like to think Raz at this point is an absolute polite and sweet little fella. When the adults are around at least. Once they leave he's a menace :) saying stuff like: "Okie Dokie! I promise we'll be on our bestest behavior!" And then turns around, illuminated by dramatic light, "Alright, which one of you mother fuckers is getting their ass beat for stealing my Psi-cards"
He's tall as hell now, so everyone asks him to grab stuff from shelves for them. He's also tried to cut his own hair because he had "a vision of what it looks like and I can't find a picture for it" and that's why it looks so choppy. He'll definitely let Ford fix it up for him in the future
Lili is probably just as much if a menace as Raz is, if not more. She's besties with her dad, now her mom is her enemy. Absolutely convinced she's goth and evil, but anytime she catches you making fun of MLP she'll beat the shit out of you.
She has a lot of drawings on her upper thighs from when she gets bored, and since she hangs out with her uncle (moms side) and he runs a small tattoo place, she likes doodling on her friends arms and legs too.
Raz is super awkward and clumsy because he's not used to how he's pretty much getting an inch taller almost everyday, so I like to imagine whenever he and Lili play fight he accidentally just-
He gets his ass burned later
#Razs voice also cracks a lot and its hilarious everytime#Idk how his voice can get higher but it can#He's also hoping that now that he has an adams apple his voice will drop soon (one punch to the throat and this kid is done for)#But we all know that'll never happen :)#doodles rants#psychonauts#razputin aquato#psychonauts 2#lili zanotto#They'll literally wrestle and pick on eachother#But then they're two awkward to even make eye contact#Teens
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Something so soft about Barbatos drying MC's hair for them 🥺
Bonus: You VS. the guy he tells you not to worry about (or, why I don't mind this card was in the guest room of the castle instead of MC's room at Cocytus Hall like on the deflower)
VS.
#Spoilers for the end of OG season 4 under the cut? I feel like we all know about it and it's a meme by now though#if only they'd actually give barbatos romantic content in the main story <3 too bad that'll never happen#anyway I did really like this card + the wanderer's whereabouts scenario was very cute#obey me barbatos#barbatos obey me#obey me#barbatos x mc#obey me shall we date#barbatos#idk if anyone's noticed but lately i've been trying to post screenshots of every barbatos crumb we get since it isn't a lot.#i just need to feel alive!!!#long post /
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seven crimes and punishment edit. sequel to the capriccio farce edit. created for the exact same reason as that edit (listened to an english synthv cover that had me literally fucking shaking). the problem is that due to the song's structure i would have to do the entire thing. someone either talk me out of this or enable my insanity
#it's not another glitterbee cover#iirc they haven't covered that song yet#it happened SOLELY because i kept having thoughts about both margarita and gallerian's parts#and was like “yeah..... morpheus' vestibule ivy and judgeseph”#guess the judgeseph edit will be real nonetheless#idk who'd be anyone else. i'd have to rewatch a couple essence trailers#this one may be all hunters#whereas the capriccio farce one was just survivors (+ one hunter because i can't even pretend to be normal abt morningstar)#rambling#i might make a tag for posts like this#like.. posts that're just directed at my mutuals#uhhhhh#silly circle#that'll work ig
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yusuke's big ol doe eyes
bonus (SICKENING!!!!!):
#he's not even kuwabara's height in them but he's closer#also yusuke's outfit here is like. exactly what i wore for the last two years of high school basically every day#he permanently altered my fashion sense and now it's looping around to me altering his. oh how the turn tables. woe platforms be upon ye#also if you think the anime-realism jumpscare panel looks bad it's part of the bit and if you like it it's bc i tried so so very hard#anyway yusuke *I* think you look very scary in your big clonky platforms ok. there there buddy shhhh#they're stupid. :)#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kuwameshi#yusuke urameshi#kazuma kuwabara#kuwabara kazuma#urameshi yusuke#also i gave him piercings bc uhhhhh uh um uhhhhh i think they look cool sorry. gender envy yusuke#skrunkart#joji kazama voice: [Beautiful Eyes.] now THATS for the rgg audience there we go i haven't forgotten y'all#yet another instance of me trying to make just like a regular kuwameshi sketch page and getting derailed#it's happened like 3 times which means i probably have enough for a sketch dump on accident lol#so that'll happen soonish probably#maybe in like. 2 hours idk. maybe not for years who knows#forces them to be mushy JUST A LITTLE BIT#they're cute to me... and i had to draw them actually together bc i realized i never make stuff of them Actually together :(#so they getta kiss god bless
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how do i learn to hate food so much that i never want to eat? I feel I'm getting close but im at 700cal a day and not losing much weight so I guess i need 700 every other day? Or cut down to 500 and then go douboe on exercise? Though 2 hours a day seems like a lot of weight and cardio on 500 cal
I dunno. Maybe I'll do a three day water fast to try and cut through this plateau im experiencing again.
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Can't wait for the thrilling battle these two will probably have maybe idk
#twst#twst spoilers#twisted wonderland#SO#THAT HAPPENED#I know idia could probably attack with TECHNOLOGY#but like idk how that'll go#Malleus is extremely overpowered and stuff#idk I just can't wait to get follow up with idia with all this shsjsjs#anyways#taps into mic#malleus ob hot#thank you uwu#leaves stage as the audience claps and cries
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Just some more Still Wakes the Deep blah blah, but omg having just been diagnosed Diabetes type 1 myself recently, it makes me only love and feel for Roy 10X more...
This shit is litteraly poison, but so does the food we eat with how much sugar there is in ugh OTL
Never thought in a million year I had DT1, I had 0 symptoms and am in pretty good shape, but then suddenly, organs are starting to hurt really badly out of nowhere...
Don't wait too long poeple and check with your doctors even if there's ''nothing'' T0T and to all Diabetic ppl out there, keep on fighting 💪✨
#random#delete later#first 2 weeks of diagnosis i didn't realized what it meant to live with this#but the 3rd week it really sinked it and i couldn't stop crying everyday#i felt even more like a failure and it made me even more angry that my biological parents left me with that#being adopted i have no medical history and i was already living a quite healthy life style#ofc it could have been even better but now i have to do many extra steps#everything's back to normal now but holy shit that hit me like a truck#plus it was urgent since it had been MONTHS it was left untreated and my family doctor just never told me or bothered to check my blood tes#so ughh idk it sucks with life being already hard as it is#high blood pressure now this... tho theyre probably related#i prepared my bucket list sooo i guess LET'S GO?! jk jk#i'm scared to have a heart attack or stroke in the middle of nowhere where no one i love is around... and that'll be it#but i mean if it happens it happens i guess XD#i'm hopefull now but holy shit... fucking pancreas who just decides to stop working#when you read more about DT1 it just feels like a bad employee who suddenly doesn't want to work anymore#and the good boss cant do anything about it#oh well#as long as i can still create art i'll be fine and happy#diabetic? more like diabethicc
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ERM
i do have. a ko-fi.
and i might do some kinda comms some time.
but for now i put th link in my pinned 👉👈
#didderd talks#th comms will prob jus be clean sketches#jus. needa get th comm sheet finished. but idk when that'll happen#or when i can physically do comms. bc my tourette's has been fuking up my wrist lately#i might do silly lil doobles for anyone who donates to my kofi tho#mby#no pressure to anyone to donate ofc!!!#n please dont if you don't have much money to spare
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