#idk if that’s the correct way but oh well
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more transfem hazel posting but it’s still as mizuki :3 guess its transfem hazel Tuesday
hazel.. as mizuki (bottom).. but it’s mizu5.. and Jasmine.. is ena (top)…
sorry that my first jaszel post is angst 😞 I know you guys are starving for content 💔 especially since I’m pretty sure you guys only got fearless while Devzel fans (nothing against Devzel I love them both equally) got like at least +3 episodes
#fop a new wish#fopanw#hazel wells#fop hazel#transfem hazel#fop jasmine#jasmine tran#god i’m still not over mizu5#hello transfem hazel fans!!#jasazel#technically#it’s so mizuover#hazelover if you will#idk if that’s the correct way but oh well#OHHH WHEN I CATCH THAT STUDENT WHO OUTED MIZUKI OHHHH ITS SO ONNNN
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genuinely curious how many people trying to disprove ike being gay have actually played through both of his games, because i feel like most of them get their information from, like, smash and maybe a few lines from heroes. sometimes they’ve even played through PoR once.
#wanna hit them with the ‘ike has no interest in women’ line from the tellius recollections and see what they say#obviously people will interpret a story in their own unique way but#idk this just bugs me because it tends to boil down to people ignoring canon then#acting like their misconceptions are correct actually#oh well#it’s probably just the english localization’s fault#shroud speaks
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From like. a character analysis perspective. i LOVE Ashton's tendency to have some very good instincts when it comes to like human nature and fuckery that are also very clearly swayed by their own experiences and biases, because the combination of correct gut instincts with strong confidence makes it. Easy to buy in. Or easy to bristle.
Ashton tells F.C.G "This is what happens when you start externalizing every fucking problem that you have-" and, with affection towards F.C.G- well. Yeah. And then he starts breaking down the issue- how its about people with power fucking with others, how the end goal and the aim doesn't matter, their methods are clearly AWFUL and going to harm tons of people, and besides, if they had such a clear and proper image about what they're going to achieve they could just tell people. They're going to hurt people, they're killing, people, fuck that, fuck them.
"It's easy to make a nice world by killing everyone who disagrees with you. If you get down to five it'll be amazing. Fucking utopia."
Its- beautiful. And correct, in more ways than one, and probably what everyone needed to hear, and also has so much of their own experiences and resentment threaded into it, reductive to an almost dangerous point. Dangerous because he's right, in so many ways, and confident and righteous with it. Dangerous because of how the life lessons and the rage and the loss have left them with base tenets about human nature and motivations that are clear cut and resigned and simple. Because simplicity is powerful, and reassuring, and keeps them going, and is also not infallible.
I just feel like. Ashton is so, so fucking right, often and especially here, is confident in his stances and judgement in a way that has been tested by flame and resigned itself to pessimism. Ashton is so right, and the reasoning is often so sound and tempting, and there's also so much of them, their own losses and shortcomings that bleeds into their confident readings of the world and its overall nature, in ways they maybe don't even realize.
ashton is- full of solid instincts, and also flawed by having lived their life firsthand, and also confident in a way that is reassuring until you find yourself in a blindspot, up against an immovable rockface.
#idk if i can articulate this correctly. its something taliesin always does well i think- characters who sound reassuring and correct even#when their judgement starts to veer. but with ashton its very much like- oh theyre right. theyre right so often but so much of it is fueled#by their own experiences in ways they dont always seem to realize. and yet its often reassuring to listen to them BECAUSE of that#the simplicity of the worldview is part of how theyve managed to make it. and for good reason! but its not infallible.#critical role#ashton#character meta#ashton meta#c3e49#cr liveblogging#my meta#my progress through this ep is. so slow. and would be faster if i stopped writing meta like every 2 minutes but. theres so much happening!#okay no more meta till the laudna ashton convo i promise#speculation#im gonna watch it before the ep tomorrow i swear#but uh. maybe during my work break becahse. i need. to sleep again.
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Honestly iiiiiiii kinda hate how they resolved the whitney/canaan/kimberly drama. I get where whitney was coming from (specifically re: kimberly lying to her) but she's had a whole summer to cool off and she's spent it apparently lying to everyone around her about not missing kimberly. And I've posted before about this, but I really don't think it was fair to expect kimberly to want to bring it up literally 1 day later in front of all their friends before she even knew what her and canaan were going to be. I wish the writers handled her side of this with a little more empathy and grace because yes, what she did was selfish and impulsive, but canaan and whitney had been broken up for awhile by that point, which in my mind means that the only thing kimberly really did wrong in this situation was lying to whitney about it, and again, I think she would have told the truth if the confrontation had been in private. It kind of seems like whitney threw a temper tantrum and decided to ice her friend out of her life instead of talking about her feelings or allowing any kind of dialogue, and then she only forgave her when she broke things off with canaan and essentially groveled at her feet taking full responsibility for the whole thing. Literally all she did was kiss a boy and then not want to talk about it immediately afterwards.
#this turned into a rant im just frustrated#loving the rest of the season so far but im worried that the writers are using this solely as a Kimberly Growth moment#instead of using the opportunity to get some development for BOTH characters#yes kimberly is a people pleaser which means she will lie and omit truths to avoid conflict and that is bad#but whitney is extremely stubborn and conflict avoidant as well and that also needs to change if she wants healthy friendships#idk. maybe theyll use this as a jumping off point later in the season and kimberly will have a breaking point after being walked over#but with the way those scenes were written it felt more like 'oh shit the fans hated this time to course correct'#which frankly i find to be a pretty cowardly thing for them to do#the sex lives of college girls
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i don't care what anyone says - atsushi and jun'ichirou have made out at Least once before
#my last thought before trying to sleep#just had a starkid breakdown and that somehow made me remember that i wholeheartedly believe this#ngl i Do see the appeal#like i like s.skk and t.anihara more but...#there's something so intruiging about atsujuni...#i feel like they first kissed when they were hanging out late and watching movies and they both just kind of gravitated towards each other#and i feel like it relieved stress for them idk but like in a relitively healthy way not a toxic way#i am too tired to go into this as much as i want to but i am correct#but also i am somehow not tired at all#oh well promised grace i would try#and that was corey with her correct opinions-#oKAY I WILL STOP NOW#corey talks:)#bsd#atsujuni
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"sara snow" as if that could have ever been a real name. get real. That is a drag name
#I'm kidding#if we're getting serious i think the reason Lol cregan is twinky is funny to me is mostly just because#in like. reddit threads and shit he's always fawned over as like this awesome gruff masculine man who Gets Shit Done and is Powerful and#Correct and Just and Fixes everything. Well what will reddit guys do when he is just a 21 year old bisexual beet counter Oh god we've just#done jon again sorry never mind#but yea lets subvert the masculine ideal ladiesssss ^_^#thats what im here for ^______^ i hope preston jacobs gets really mad about it *___*#cause like it's interesting that aegon and rhaenyra both fail their genders in certain ways#(failing your gender is good dont get me mixed up)#but aegon cant get it up and he's emasculated and disabled and Literally gets cucked ?#and we dont even have time to get into rhaenyra right now#so the idea of some kind of Northern Real Man TM storming in and being the 'corrective' to that is a bit weird#UNLESS he is gay and mean abotu it.#also not to imply that the realm is 'fixed' at the end of the dance systemic rot is systemic etc#^ idk what any of that meant it's late and if it doesnt make sense dont yell at me about it
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it's always something. PLEASE can i just go One single day without there being Something
#vent post#cw injury mention#cw shooting mention#don't know why i keep getting involved in these political debates with an old ignorant drunkard. i'd be better off talking to a brick wall#i say 'talking' as if he ever lets me get a word in edgewise. he just wants a Nice Quiet Woman to complain to. not a real conversation.#can't believe i spent 2hrs last night trying to explain basic facts about the universe and evolution when he probably remembered none of it#not to quote Dr. Ratio in a vent post but. the most annoying thing about idiocy Truly is that you can't explain it to an idiot#'i am a STRAIGHT MAN 😡😡😡 how do you expect me to give you a QUEER answer???' bro all i did was ask why u don't like gay ppl.. chill...#'well in BibLIcaL tiMeS-' man u just ranted abt how ur atheist & don't believe in the bible. u can't turn around and use it in an argument#so we somehow went from fictional stories to The Gays to religion to outer space to the birth of the universe to evolution to currency#and when he started in on China & covid i simply had to walk away. i can't listen to any more of his regurgitated propaganda conspiracies#oh and how can i forget the tangent he went off on about his beloved guns after the Antioch shooting yesterday! that took 30mins at least#i did read the kid's manifesto and lowkey wish i hadn't because Jesus Fucking Christ i'm so worried about the state of children online#i really do love the internet and the countless good things it has brought into the world and into my own life#but i didn't have access to it until i was.. 11 i think? and the internet was a Very different place in 2011 than it is in the 2020s#worst i did was watch clickbait YT videos about mermaids being real. now 9 year-olds are getting radicalized on Twitch???#idk i'm so 'old' and out of the loop now. i barely recognized like half of those words he used. but god i'm worried sick for the kids.#anyways. all last night's 'debate' accomplished was me getting told that my fiction writing doesn't do anything good for the world#and got reminded that being gay is a mental illness. :) and that he doesn't trust in science. or anything logical for that matter#he's just gonna keep saying the same bullshit he was raised to believe without a single critical thought as to whether it was correct#i'm done trying to find common ground with someone like that. waste of my precious time. i could be playing a video game lmao#anyways later that evening i accidentally sustained some burns to my left hand. and i am totally fine. but i was too tired to clean & wrap-#-it up before i fell asleep. so i woke up hours later panicked from a nightmare with my hand fucking throbbing and my mom standing over me#in her own little panic because she didn't check her fucking pants pockets and accidentally washed her flip phone and it was. well. soaked.#so i got to spend all morning taking it apart in hopes of salvaging it so i don't have to hassle with moving her number to a new one!!!#then poured hydrogen peroxide all over my burned hand Knowing it wasn't the best idea but i. did it anyways bc my hubris cannot be stopped#and holy shit that didn't feel good! had to keep reminding myself to breathe or i was gonna pass out lmao that shit made my joints hurt#how does a skin wound ache all the way down to the bone. anyways. it's wrapped now and i'm Alllll better :) no mental illness in This body#anyways thanks to that i got out of making dinner and doing the dishes! and i got a burger and fries and am dipping them in ice cream#the fries not the burger im not that unhinged. anyways now im gonna boot up Genshin and try to turn my tired little brain off for the night
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I think going forward if and when i can make edits idk if they'll strictly be forcemasc, attention might sway towards moreso just trans man centred erotica like my pieces about leather and the body have been, as I just.. Haven't been enjoying the space around forcemasc much lately and I think the general consensus around the type of shit that I and others make is that it's corny and bad and it makes me sad to think of a space I'm trying to play in thinking like that sooooo. I might just do my own thing outside of tags. Idk, I'm just talking aloud ABT shit I might do.
#⚙️🥩.txt#idk. yall dont want it and i dont wanna be vague posted abt so why not just stop#ill just do my own thing divorced from categorisation so ppl cant get mad that the tag#has that in it. like idk it hasnt felt like a good enviroment in ages#its all manifestos on the apparent correct way to do it or discourse#nobody even seems to be making the edits i came here for anyway#so why dont i take the hint. people dont like my type of shit so i can just do it out of tags idc#turns out if you're a bitch abt ppls art they dont start making the art you wanna see#they just go oh ok well im not going to play in this space then. i can go do my own thing.
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bein' completely honest here i have considered npd shu be4 soooo often cause the. the shoe fits (laugh please), i feel like his past & family environment cld really serve as a push, in the end cluster Bs r all jus' sets of survival & coping tactics ya adopt into yr personality as a result of unjust treatment & trauma <- this is true
nawt 2 armchair diagnose him but like we shall go over sum npd traits. cause we kno here it ain't jus' high self esteem (when the opposite is usually evident)
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intentionally or nawt i feel like exvalk shu especially fits the npd mold like dat was his entire character conflict /lh (i miss him)
> a grandiose sense of self-importance
need i say anythin'. listen 2 like the first shu voiceline in ! it was literally 'i am the emperor of ymnsk academy'. .. doesn't he also go as far as 2 declare himself the god of this world? like ''kono sekai no kami da' i remember dat. oh & how much stronger & imposin' his timbre was compared 2 how much softer his voice is rn. he was very much self-focused even though it manifested thru valkyrie, he was distinctly treatin' the unit as his creation & his own creation only. the focus on the self is very real
> a preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
i feel like if ya know shu ya will nod away at every single one of these cause. pre-fall valk <- dat wasn' even a fantasy, i feel like he was really narc-thrivin' back then cause it was the reality, they WERE on top. (srry if ya came here 4 thorough analysis i don' do that round here i jus' show ya smth & we both nod solemnly) success, power, brilliance, beauty, even ideal love (shnz wink?) - exvalk shu is both a perfectionist & a maximalist i think he craved it all, an' even when he has achieved great success he jus' can't get enuff, leadin' him 2 get overconfident 2 the point where he was /dat/ oblivious 2 his own (& valkyrie's, but at dat time he saw valkyrie as himself only, & the rest as just an extension, a tool) imminent demise practically laid out in front of him.
> a belief that he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
this guy?
the guy who calls the general public philistines & views ppl who don' adhere 2 the same high standards he holds 4 himself imbeciles?
> a need for excessive admiration
the 'go on, praise me more!' guy? it might seem at first like he'd b too prideful 2 outright ask 4 external validation but if ya really look a bit into it, he's very reliant on it.. i think it gets amplified by bein' an idol too, bein' very self conscious of yr image. ofc mr oshisan wld find himself in a field where the entire point is 2 b the center of attention & appraisal.
> a sense of entitlement
i think this jus' circles back 2 every other point i made...!!!! exvalk shu is control & acknowledgment hungry. he wants 2 step on n crush the skulls of every1 who is unworthy & soar thru the skies on the mechanical wings of valkyrie.. or wtv. he is intensely focused on his goal 2 the point of tunnel vision cause he fully believes himself 2 deserve the throne. no1 else can b above him. he despises 'commoners' & those below him yet who brought him all the recognition & glory? wats the expression? rest on yr laurels? dunno if 'm usin' it correctly!!!
i also hope i don' come off as dramatisin' too much. like ik marionette is literally jus' one story but i feel it dat much stronger, i guess. 4 (introject) reasons. i hope these things don' read as a huge stretch.
> interpersonally exploitive behavior
> a lack of empathy
> envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her
gettin' lazy. i feel like this cld jus' b self explanatory... i don' wanna go in depth into every single one 4 shu, esp cuz. ya don' need every single criteria 2 match. 4 a diagnosis. but if ya have any specific moments 4 this one feel free 2 add on 👍🏼
> a demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes
#mika caws#srry like half of these r me goin' 'well it's self explanatory' but it rly is. cause i know him personally.#an' likr all of ya kno him closely too. i don' need 2 wrte an essay. we all kno it's true.#but also i feel da need 2 mention the self esteem bit cuz i feel like its a stereotype dat those with npd have jus'. an unshakable solid#high self esteem which is why they behave & carry themselves da way they do. which is nawt even half of da truth!#while yehs usually 'high' it tends 2 b very fragile cause the things they rely on 2 upkeep it r all said factors like#specifically external validation. individuals w npd tend 2 b deeply insecure n self loathin' too & struggle w low self esteem as well#idk if the high self esteem bein' described as like a 'mask' or a false front is veryyyy correct in the case of npd#i ain't sure how pw/npd feel ab it either so hey if any1 come across it feel free 2 input#but yea i feel like dat bit of nuance is important esp when ya look at exvalk's imminent fall & how strongly it affected shu's entire#interior & exterior. like wow wat a narc crash... r ya ok queen#if any1 finds thjs thru any search stuffs like. pls keep in mind this wasn' meant 2 breach containment#oh an' if sum parts of jt R indeed a stretch idgaf. so many of my exomemories focus on the exvalk period specifically so it's very saturate#in my head. i wasn' writin' this balls deep in marionette i was jus pullin' wat i have in storage
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ahhhh. another day of hating gender.
#gender benefits none of us#don’t hate me for this though#my gender identity is important to me#as much as i think it would be better if no one even paid attention to the existence of gender#you know we could just live#not have to worry about all this#same with being lgbtqia+#and all the different phobias that people have against us#if you’re accepting#you make life easier not only for the people you accept but for yourself#its happier to love than to hate#dedicate your lives to love people#gender shouldn’t matter#in the best way possible#like#“oh you’re nonbinary? well cool welcome to the team” and then that person just uses your correct pronouns and doesn’t need to bring up-#-the fact that you’re nonbinary because that’s just an identifier that doesn’t need to be brought up to everyone#unless you yourself specifically want to tell someone#idk if this makes sense#gender#gender identity#genderqueer#genderfluid#transgender#nonbinary#rant post#but all positive#we try to be all happy and loving here#please don’t change that
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seeing someone i hate or dont know very well post about dishonored: yeah like u fucking know dishonored u fool no one knows dishonored but me no one u dont like dishonored no one loves it as much as me u dont know shit u fucki
#river.txt#i dont know why im like this tbh#same with poe and skyrim. idk#im just very. gatekeep-y???? dont even know if thats the correct way to call this#man i dont know!!! im just fucking angry!!!!!!!!!!! about so much#so stupid tumblr shit pisses me off too and i have to yell about it#sigh. i forgot to block someone i dislike on my edits sideblog and they rbed my poe gifset and now im fucking pissed#u dont know poe like i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#that send me on a shitty lurking spree like oh i wonder what else this clown posts about nowadays#and i saw dishonored as well and i was like ok. last straw. im going on my blog and writing an angry nonsensical rant
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i'm reading this historical novel with a third gender character and like. i don't know how to feel about it. because obviously gender is personal and contextual and they will be operating within their own society's rules. but i feel like the author is keeping things so just-within-the-rules that it almost becomes like... a weird reluctance to engage with actual queerness? only with alternative norms? almost like. inventing new ways to be cis and then doing cisnormativity with them lmao
#so the character was raised a boy but (their words) 'has a woman's body'#they seem to always choose male presentation/roles when they have the choice#but they didn't decide to be raised that way. it was just Their Destiny.#and it's not clear that maleness means much to them besides familiarity and social power#and uh. they're attracted to men and they always identify that as a female feeling#and like the direction we're going in seems to be romance 'reconciling' them with their femaleness ://#(this being a character who has been correctively raped as well.)#(and the men who are attracted to them are never ever treated as queer and only feel attraction once they 'know')#and it's just like. idk. it's a plausible situation but it also feels... unimaginative. limited. ?#like we're heading for a modern feminist 'women can do anything men can and STILL BE WOMEN! :)' thing#and like EVERY part of their identity is justified by being an outside force and not a choice#bleh#this character is inuit. they've also been interacting with norsemen.#one of the norsemen made one derogatory reference once to m/m sex and other than that it's been radio silence#the MC's male presentation has almost always been backed up by 'the gods wanted this' or 'it's just safer' or similar#there was some joy in breaking the rules in the middle of the book but it seems to have faded away#idk. it's interesting but it doesn't feel like the character is actually being treated as a) third gender or b) male#just as a Spirited Woman#the author's note and the blurb both use she/her exclusively. :/#oh AND bc there are norse characters we've also been talking about loki as genderweird and guess what#he/him exclusively except when in a female 'diguise'. :(
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#so my mom used my name for the first time today ;-;#i feel. some kind of way about it#like. hopeful I guess. but I don't wanna feel hopeful is the thing. like ;-; my mom correcting herself is like. sounds fake but okay.#okay wait the thing is like. this is more of an. admission of like. being wrong than I've ever gotten from her but also#well actually. maybe her shit talking esoterics like was similar#but the point is. it doesn't feel either real or reliable?#idk man#I'm. not feeling happy about it and I'm feeling guilty for not feeling happy and I'm. i think I'm feeling resentful. like.#oh. so now you acknowledge me#?#do you expect me to forgive you? do you expect me to ignore the last three year#I'm.#well.#i don't think i really allowed myself to be hurt before#and now I'm just. pissed about it all. despite this being the moment to just be relieved#but I'm not feeling relieved and part of the reason I'm unwilling to feel hopefull is like??? now what??? do you think i still wanna have#a relationship with you? because i kind of don't. i kind of don't want to spend time with you even if you change#even if you change my distanced and careful feelings won't change. i have had too many secrets from too young#I've been dismissed and mocked too many times#to even want this#i have people i don't have to. be on eggshells around#ugh#vent#I'll get over this don't even worry#yes I'm saying all this but also yes I'll keep them in my life and yes i will forgive them if they try even a little bit
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you're never gonna guess who you reblogged this from
You should always strive to give your followers an extremely warped impression of your favorite media
#(lighthearted)#i did have my girls in mind when i reblogged this post though. you are entirely correct.#IN MY DEFENSE they basically are life partners. or were#i'm going to pull a reverse yaoi fan and shit talk the GUY getting in the way of my gay ship hashtag diversity hashtag womens rights#idk i feel the manta ray acting up again#oh wait i guess. lindy/farrah as well#or sophie/zara
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also love the idea of eddie bringing buck along to help out at some pta event and all the single parents are like 👀👀 and hit on him and eddies just losing his mind watching it happen
#like a mom comes up to buck and is like. heyy do you mind helping me set up? i cant lift this myself#and ofc buck is like. yeah absolutely#and after shes like oh wow youre so strong. and touches his arm#and eddie seed this happen and is like. well i gotta put a stop to that. and walks over and stands wayyyy closer to buck than normal#and wraps an arm around his waist and the mom is like. oh. and send eddie an apologetic smile#or eddie gets cornered by a few moms and theyre like. eddie youve never mentioned your friend was so handsome. he is also a firefighter?#does that mean he is too busy for a girlfriend?? im sure hed like some thing to help him wind down after work#and eddie gets all huffy and is like hes with me actually#so hes not available.#and theyre like oh.#my bad didnt realize when you said he was your friend you meant your BOYfriend#and eddie is on roll so he says my husband actually#and everyone is like huh#because when did eddie diaz get married without them knowing#anyway#but eddie would say some wild shit and the moms and dads would be like okay so no more hitting in buck (in front of eddie)#and eddie would be sitting there trying to justify how telling people buck is his husband was helping buck out#like. well he said hes not looking for a relationship rn this is helping that. or those moms arent really what buck needs in a relationship#and eddie watches buck and the way he smiles and the way his spine curves when he laughs and his hands curl around something and hes like#none of them deserve him. they dont even know that hes the most amazing person to ever walk this earth (after chris) they just want him cuz#hes big and bright and smiley but hes so much more than that.#and so all the parents stop hitting on buck (well. most of them. some of them are lowkey tryna be homewreckers) and buck notices and is lik#hey. eds did you say something at one of the meetings? like all of sudden jill isnt trying to lure me into the bathrooms after pta meetings#and eddies just like. fuck. fuck. fuck. and says oh well. see. actually. it turns out they all think we are married.#oh. well. did you correct them?#uh. no?#and buck just stares at him and eddie stares back until buck is like. you told them we were married didnt you#yeah. sorry its just. it bothered me when they were hitting on you. i shouldve talked to you about it but idk i just had to stop it.#oh. it. uh. bothered you? why?#idk. they dont. they dont know you.
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was gonna reblog that post about reporting incorrect subtitles but that final longass addition pisses me the fuck off of course translations aren't going to match exactly you chud that's not what was even being discussed
#'uwuhhh but what if someone reports subtitles that are actually fine' then oh no worst case scenario you wasted someone's time#double-checking that it's correct or they just marked it off their list of shit to do#'uwuhhhh stuff doesn't translate directly' NOT WHAT WAS BEING SAID#the post was about the AUDIO not matching the WRITTEN SUBTITLES. THE SAME LANGUAGE#very different to have a translation come out different than to have someone say 'I'm gonna getcha' + the subtitles say 'you will be gotten'#people who need subtitles deserve 2 experience it as close as they can to the original + translation differences are not part of that effort#like. coming onto a post about disability rights in the US to be like 'well akshully if youre watching Japanese stuff like ANIME and SQUID#GAME' misses the point of the post entirely - that you as a consumer can do something about a tangible issue affecting them (not a strawman)#(the strawman in this case is someone Accidentally Reporting Subtitles As Incorrect) (which is such a non fucking issue)#'ohhh but it wastes their time' I guarantee they appreciate either having an easy thing to check off their list or re-check like...#idk why it's rubbing me the wrong way so bad lol
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