#and all the different phobias that people have against us
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r3m-ster · 1 year ago
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ahhhh. another day of hating gender.
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deerspherestudios · 4 months ago
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🔍 QNA MASTERLIST (PT.4) 🔎
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This masterlist covers general lore and an AU featuring MindReader!Mychael.
📍 For part 1, it's [HERE] for abilities, romantic/yandere traits and his opinion on kids. 📍 For part 2, it's [HERE] for anatomy. 📍 For part 3, it's [HERE] for reactions to different MCs.
Random Mychael lore❕
He has a different name in his own language, but goes by Mychael.
He also chose Mychael as a name himself.
He doesn't have a last name.
When did he start knitting and why?
Where did the nickname 'firefly' come from?
What music would he like?
His favorite smells are old books, honey and gasoline.
He's super ticklish.
How did he carry MC to his home?
His favorite thing to knit are beanies.
He'd love bringing you outdoors.
He's a quiet sleeper.
He sleeps in a fetal position.
He sleeps with both sets of eyes closed.
He'd love cheek kisses.
(Minor) loredump!
His knowledge on marriage.
He's overworked himself when fixing up the cabin.
Would he like stargazing?
You're not the first human he's found unconscious.
He'd be okay wearing a dress.
What's his wardrobe like?
He has a fear/phobia of snowstorms, thunder/lightning, trains/train whistles and water wells.
We can't get sick from him.
Does he have a religion/beliefs?
He would love the Shrek series.
The chickens' name origins (they're all flowers).
He's never considered humans as 'food'.
How did Mychael get his hens?
His favorite candies would be marshmallows and cotton candy.
If he had internet, he'd mostly look up arts-and-crafts and recipes. He'd also love DIY candy kits. He would enjoy nonverbal ASMR.
He prefers being warm.
He kinda celebrates New Years' and loves fireworks. + Why he loves fireworks but are terrified of thunderstorms.
He doesn't need skincare but would enjoy face masks.
His first experience with bees.
He's never played UNO (but would love board and card games).
How does Mychael view the animals/people he meets in the forest?
More Mychael lore❕
He can't handle spicy food as it makes him physically ill.
He's ambidextrous.
His MBTI is INFJ-T.
His favorite desserts are pumpkin pie and cranberry muffins.
His favorite books are self-help skill books and picture books.
His favorite color is yellow. His favorite animal is a jellyfish.
He used to wear cloaks when it was socially acceptable to.
He doesn't believe in ghosts.
How did he learn to speak and pronounce words?
He would love origami.
He'd love to have a cow but think it'd be high maintenance.
He prefers tea over coffee.
His first time seeing the ocean.
He would enjoy K-pop, phonk and electropop music the most.
He would enjoy making fairy bread!
His favorite Ghibli movie would be The Secret World of Arrietty.
Kid!Mychael. + His personality.
Mychael playing Stardew Valley.
Mychael trying a laptop at the library for the first time.
Mychael's perspective in Ending 2 and Ending 3.
Mychael would lose against Atom (Astronought) and Alma (Lift Your Spirits).
Mychael wearing (terribly-shaped) glasses.
About MR!Mychael ❕
MR!Mychael origins and discussion.
MR!Mychael with MC thinking nice thoughts about him.
MR!Mychael wouldn't rescue MC in Day 1.
MR!Mychael analysis and the type of MC he'd fall for.
How MR!Mychael's power works.
How MC would meet MR!Mychael.
MR!Mychael would react the same regardless of MC's psyche.
MR!Mychael with an overthinking MC.
MR!Mychael can't see dreams.
MR!Mychael with an MC with an earworm.
MR!Mychael's personality + when comfortable with MC.
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juney-blues · 7 months ago
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there's a certain type of person on this website, who is dedicated entirely to NOT understanding the difference between people who are part of an oppressed group, and people who are not part of it.
you can try to describe it as hard as you want, but no matter what language you use they just won't get it.
you can say "x-phobia is bigotry that specifically targets group x" and they will say "but if i got mistaken for a member of group x, then in that moment the bigotry would be 'targeted' against me!"
you can say "people who are the targets of this bigotry have a unique relationship to that oppression that people who aren't simply do not" and you will get "please stop making this about yourselves, we're all affected by this, and we all have a unique relationship to it."
there is no language you can use for "the group of people that this bigotry is bigotry against" that won't be twisted and taken as literally as possible. The conversation will be made about literally anyone except the main targets of that oppression, at all fucking costs.
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joshsindigostreak · 3 months ago
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After Midnight
“‘Cause nothing good comes after midnight…”
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Demon!Jake Kiszka x Reader
Authors Note: Hello lovelies!! This was a special request from our dear @gold-mines-melting to get a better look at how our Hatman!Jake was fairing in the world. This was super fun to write and my first official Jake smut!! I hope you enjoy him as much as I do ❤️
Word count: 8.1K
Warnings: SMUT, 18+, Minors DNI, unprotected sex (but he’s a demon so…wrap it up IRL!), oral sex f!receiving, brief discussions of Hell, swearing, but I think that’s it!
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For Demons, the time around Halloween was a fun one. The veil was thinner, the air crisper, and humans let their guards down for the off chance of experiencing anything “spooky.” Multiple human cultures acknowledged the thinning of the veil, but very few truly understood what it meant. Not only were Spirits at their most active, but other beings were more abundant as well.  Jake was a Demon who fed on fear. Didn’t matter if it was a glimmer of anxiety, or a massive phobia, the energy of fear was everywhere.
Tonight, a full week before Halloween, the Demon was checking out a new apartment building, one he hadn’t been quite familiar with just yet, when a group of giggles echoed through the ether and met his ears. He followed the sound and found himself in a tiny apartment, dimly lit with only a scattering of candles and strings of orange and purple lights that lined the walls and door frames. A group of young women sat on the floor, surrounding the coffee table, all in different Halloween costumes. Jake’s presence was invisible and undetected, which allowed him to lean against the wall and observe. 
His eyes scanned the group, eventually landing on you in the middle of your friends. Your costume wasn’t much, just a thin white nighty with some cheap Angel wings fixed on your back. The human interpretation of Angels was laughable, given the true nature of such creatures. Always decked out in all white, implying purity and piety, soft feathery wings that rivaled a dove’s. It made the Demon roll his eyes. Out of his brothers, he had had the “pleasure” of interacting with such beings the most over the years. If only humans knew that the creatures they perceived as “nurturing” and “protective” didn’t actually care about them as people but as cogs in the machine known as “The Greater Good.”
Angels were geniuses at marketing. 
However, the sight of you with your Party City set of wings was endearing to Jake. He wished he hadn’t had such a sordid history with Angels so that he could appreciate the aesthetic fully, but he couldn’t help that. But the way your hair fell over your shoulders, bare except for the thin spaghetti strap of your “dress”, and the way the candles lit your face from where you sat, had the Demon’s interest peaked. He pushed himself off the wall he had been leaning against and took a few silent steps forward, curious as to what you and your friends were huddled around on the coffee table. 
He almost let out a chuckle when he saw what had the group in such a heated debate: a ouija board. 
“If you even think about using that thing I’m going to leave,” your friend Claire hissed from her spot on the couch while she sipped whatever beverage she had concocted in your kitchen. 
“Bitch please, you are not, it’s a kids game for fucks sake,” your other friend Nora rolled her eyes from the other side of the coffee table while she examined the lid of the box. 
“They just creep me out. Haven’t you heard about them opening doors to things if you’re not careful?” 
“I highly doubt a mass produced piece of cardboard that's sold around the world is a true door to Hell, Claire,” Nora reasoned. 
Claire bristled, “Well you guys can have fun with it, I’m not participating.” 
They were both right in different ways. Inherently the “game” didn’t do much in terms of anything spiritual, but humans had a habit of knocking on doors they aren’t supposed to, and Demons never resisted fucking with them in return. Unfortunately for these girls, a Demon was already in the room with them, and the corners of his mouth were twitching at the thought of giving them a good scare during their party. 
Finally, your wine-induced opinion was heard, “I mean why not? Its October after all. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Very Angelic of you. 
Jake immediately loved the sound of your voice, and sat down in the empty spot across from you and next to Nora. 
His presence didn’t go fully unnoticed, with Nora rubbing her arms through the cheap fabric of her Witches costume, which consisted of a short black dress and a stereotypical pointed hat on her head. 
“Is anyone else cold?” 
She was met with everyone shaking their heads at her. 
“Weird.” 
Jake could feel the anxiety in the room start to build, and he knew it was only going to get better. 
You set your wine glass down on the end table and joined Nora in placing your fingertips on the planchette. The two of you took turns asking random questions, and it was clear to Jake that Nora was trying to move the planchette herself for shits and giggles. 
But now, it was Jake’s turn to start answering. 
“Is there anyone with us, right now?” Nora dramatically asked with her eyes closed. The Demon to her left took the opportunity to nudge the planchette over the “YES” portion of the board. 
“Oh we’re not alone,” you joked and laughed with the girls. 
You had no idea, Jake thought. 
“Are you a ghost, then?” You asked into the air. 
Amused, Jake guided the planchette to the “NO”. 
At that, he saw your fingertips twitch on the plastic surface, and he heard your heart quicken in your chest. 
“I fucking told you to not mess with-” Claire started to protest. 
“If you’re not a ghost, then what are you?” 
Now the fun would really begin. 
Jake slowly moved the planchette around the board, spelling out,
“N-O-T-A-G-H-O-S-T”. 
Nora looked down at the board, “we know that,” she said defiantly. 
“Nora,” you lightly scolded, “don’t be rude to the spirit!”
Nora shrugged, not phased, “Oh spirit of olde, where are you from?”
Jake smirked, 
“H-E-L-L”
Your hands paused as the second L was magnified under the planchette, and looked up at Nora. 
“Oh of course the big bad spirit is from Hell,” your friend was openly mocking whoever it was you were speaking to. 
“Is Hell fun?”
You title your head and narrowed your eyes, “it's Hell, Nora.” 
“What? Maybe it's fun for them?” 
Jake silently nudged your hands to the YES. The mounting anxiety that was oozing off of Claire and the other girls was delicious. 
“Come on, Nora you’re just moving it yourself,” one of your other friends voiced from her spot on the couch next to Claire, unimpressed.
“I am not!” she hissed. The accusation appeared to have shifted her mood and she put her hands in her lap, “whatever, I’m bored and I need a refill.”
She got up in a huff and exited into your tiny kitchen. The rest of the girls followed after her, needing refills themselves. That left you all alone with your fingers still resting on the planchette. 
Softly, you murmured, “sorry about her…she can be a lot.” You had no idea if you were even speaking to anyone, and felt a little dumb, but it was Spooky Season, and you needed some whimsy in your life. 
Jake however, was utterly entranced by you across the coffee table. He sat there, eyes traveling around your face and down your body. The flickering light from the candles lit your features in such a delicate way. He watched as you blushed in embarrassment. You shook your head at yourself, mumbling about how stupid that was to say. You reached for your wine glass and gulped down the little you still had. He studied the way your fingers held the stem of the glass, how your lips fit against the rim, how your eyes fluttered shut as the wine hit your tongue, and how your throat bobbed slightly as you swallowed. 
If you could have seen the Demon in front of you, you would have seen how his soft eyes followed your every movement. You would have seen the dark brown irises he always chose when he wanted to look more human, eyelids heavy and dark circles underneath. He couldn’t look away. 
There wasn’t any fear in the room now, only curiosity from Jake himself. 
But you couldn’t see him. You didn’t know he was truly there. In your eyes, you were tipsy and had just played a slumber party game with your friends. You weren’t talking to a Spirit of any kind, it was just Nora fucking with everyone as she always did. You rolled your eyes at yourself and got up off the floor. In silence you put the ouija board back in the box along with the planchette, ready to move on to other activities you had planned. 
In your buzzed state, you forgot one of the rules to using a Ouija board, which was to always say goodbye to whomever you were speaking to. It was a formality to close any ‘doors’. You hadn’t done that. You simply scooped up your glass and headed into the kitchen to join your friends. That left the Demon alone in your living room. 
Jake contemplated staying around, just to see how the night went, but his ears started ringing, and he could tell his talents were needed elsewhere. It was better for his best interest to head out anyway. The Demon sighed and rose off the floor, giving one last glance through the archway into your kitchen. You and your guests had moved on to tequila shots and arguing over what movie you were going to watch next. Tequila after wine? He knew your human body would be regretting that in the morning. 
He smiled at you one last time before disappearing from your apartment, off to see one of his regulars who had a penchant for Benadryl. 
~!~
In one the many gardens of Hell, the young Demon found himself wandering down a path lined with thick and tangled rose bushes. The petals ranged from bright red to deep purple, all twisting and growing together in ways they couldn’t naturally on earth. He wasn’t in the gardens much, but it was his twin’s turn to pick the meeting place, and this was one of Josh’s favorite places. 
Jake rounded the corner and caught sight of Josh, perched on a stone bench with his newly gifted wings stretched out behind him, face tilted towards the eternally sunset sky, eyes closed. 
“You’re late,” he said as he flexed his wings. 
“You’re the last person to tell anyone they’re late for anything,” Jake replied warmly before sitting down next to him. 
“Sam and Danny can’t make it. Something to do with business they each had Topside,” Josh opened his eyes and looked over at Jake. 
“You’d know all about Topside business, brother. How is she anyway?” 
A toothy grin formed on his brother’s face, “Amazing, as always.” 
Jake had to admit, the situation with Josh and the human hadn’t turned out too bad in the end. He had only met her a few times but he liked seeing how happy his brother was, and he was comforted knowing she had been a big part of that. 
“What about you? Have you been terrorizing humanity with your threatening presence? Even in that ridiculous hat?” Josh nudged Jake’s shoulder. 
Jake rolled his eyes, “you laugh but this hat and my presence are synonymous with nightmares. They blog about it on the internet.” 
“Memes. The height of Demonic achievement.” 
“Shut up,” Jake said with a soft laugh. His thoughts drifted back to you, and how he spied on your party. It had only been a few days since that night, and he couldn’t get you or your little wings out of his head. He’d close his eyes and the sight of how the candles lit your face would flood his thoughts. He had only seen you for less than an hour but he was enamored, besotted, lovestruck. It was such an unfamiliar feeling he wasn’t sure if he liked it or not. Humans had never particularly caught his eye in his unnaturally long life. But here he was, stewing over the pretty girl in the Angel wings. 
“Who is it?” Josh asked. He knew something was up with Jake. 
“Who is what?” Jake tried to hide the defensiveness in his voice. 
“Whoever has you zoning out that hard. You haven’t been listening to a thing I’ve said in the last two minutes.” 
“Yes I have.”
“What was I saying?”
Jake’s mouth twisted in a frown, “doesn’t matter. It’s nothing.” 
Josh gave him a knowing look, “Jake…” 
“Ijustfindherfascinating,” he mumbled under his breath. 
“You what? You find who fascinating?” 
“Justhisgirl,” he mumbled once more. 
“A girl?” Josh made an educated guess, “a human, girl?”
Jake refused to look up at him but his face reddened at his brother's words. 
Josh’s wings twitched behind him, “you gave me…so much shit…and here you are…” A laugh escaped him and gradually got louder and louder until he leaned over with his elbows on his knees, shoulders shaking from the force. 
“It’s not funny.” 
“Yes…it is,” Josh said after somewhat composing himself. 
“It’s whatever, I’ll probably never see her again.”
 
“Aww why not?” 
“Like I told you before, humans aren’t a good idea.” 
Josh gave him a look, “you said that and then I ended up having the best year of my life. So…” 
Jake looked down at his watch, “Well I have nightmares to cause, chaos to sew.”
“Yeah, ok,” Josh said with a smile and an eye roll. He couldn’t wait to see how this turned out for his brother. 
~!~
Weeks had gone by, and the Demon had tried his best to keep you out of his mind. He kept himself distracted by staying in other cities, soaking up nightmares far away from you. He was being ‘good’, as far as Demons go. Any trouble he got into had nothing to do with the pretty human in the Angel wings. He had only barely heard your name called out to you before he had left your apartment. 
That didn’t mean the temptation wasn’t there. He could be inside your place in the blink of an eye if he wanted, but he needed to keep his distance. The last thing he needed was to get caught up with a human. It might have worked out for his twin, but that was an anomaly. You would be terrified of him, and while he knew your fear would be delicious, a small part of him didn’t want it. He didn’t want to imagine you afraid, or anxious. The possibility didn’t sit right with him. 
But at the end of the day, Jake was a Demon, and Demons are imperfect creatures. After weeks of denying himself another glimpse of you, he found himself standing in your living room. The lights were still strung around on your walls, but now you had some Christmas decor mixed in. To his surprise, the ouija board was on your coffee table, already set up with the planchette resting in the center. 
You were sitting on your couch, staring at the board, trying to psych yourself up into placing your fingertips on the planchette. Against your better judgment, you had tried a few times to “communicate” with the Spirit you thought you had talked to the night of your party. But you never got an answer, not once. It made you feel a little dumb but you kept randomly trying. Something inside you was curious, and fully believed it wasn’t Nora being an asshole that night. 
Jake saw you reach for the board every so often, before returning your hands to your lap or fiddle with your phone. He raised an eyebrow, what were you doing? But then he remembered, you had left the ‘door’ open that night, never saying goodbye. This could be his chance without scaring the shit out of you by suddenly appearing. 
Instead of sitting across from you like the last time, he took his seat next to you on the couch. As a Demon, he could fully shield his presence from humans, which meant you wouldn’t feel a dip on the seat next to you. Jake could be as quiet as a ghost. 
Finally, you built up the nerve to place your fingertips on the planchette. You looked around the room, and quietly said, “Is anyone here?” 
Jake’s breath caught in his throat, and he moved his hand next to yours. The downside of his shielding meant that he couldn’t actually feel your hand, and he found himself wishing he could. He didn’t want you to give up and put the board away, so he began to move the plastic piece. With ease he slid it over to the YES corner of the board. 
You gasped, “holy shit. Umm…” Suddenly your mind had gone blank, and you stammered out, “are you a ghost?”
Jake smiled at the question, the same one you had that first night, and just like before he spelled out,
“N-O-T-A-G-H-O-S-T”
Taking some measured breaths you continued, “what are you, then?” 
Jake hesitated slightly. He could lie, and tell you he was a completely benevolent being just passing through the ether, but he didn’t want to. But he was worried you’d throw the board if he answered honestly. But fuck it. 
“D-E-M-O-N”
A chill ran up your spine as the word was completed, and your fingers trembled. You could do this. What have you got to lose?
“What kind of Demon?” 
There was only one word he could use for simplicity's sake, 
“F-E-A-R.”
“Well that makes sense, I guess,” you shrugged, “do you like being a Demon?”
Jake slid the planchette a little quicker to the YES corner. 
“Of course you do. What’s your name?”
Names. Knowing a Demon’s name had power. Humans like to say it means you can control said Demon, but that wasn’t entirely true. It meant that a Demon could hear their name being called by the person through time and space. He could be down in Hell and her even whispering his name would have the sound zinging through the ether and for him it would be as if you had said it right into his ear. Demons don’t have to answer calls, but more often than not they do. It was one of their more narcissistic qualities. 
Did he want to give you that kind of hold over him? To be able to cut through realms just to get his attention? To be able to summon him whenever you wanted? Yes. 
You were expecting some ancient, Biblical-esque name to be spelled out. And while it technically was Biblical, you certainly weren’t expecting, 
“J-A-K-E.”
This made you purse your lips and tilt your head.
 
“You’re a Demon…named Jake?” It wasn’t supposed to be funny, but you had to suppress a laugh. 
Jake’s eyebrows knitted together, not understanding why you found that amusing.
The Demon having such a…simple name relaxed you a bit. You didn’t know of many Demonic names, but you were glad the ones you did know weren’t this his. 
You felt a little more bold, “okay, Jake, prove to me you’re actually here.”
Oh, you wanted a show? He still didn’t want to scare you, but he couldn’t help but use one of his usual moves when nightmare hopping. 
The shadows in the room started to move. They grew larger as if they were climbing up the walls, merging together and creeping around the ceiling. The room was suddenly cloaked in darkness. He left the shadows in their altered state for a minute or two before setting them back to where they originally were. 
“Can you show yourself?”
He could, he could and he wanted to. 
“YES”
You swallowed some air, “then do it.” 
Jake stared at you, knowing that there was no going back now. He had been trying to ignore the anxiety that was coursing through your system, but hanging in front of him like bait on a hook. 
He dropped the shield, letting himself be fully visible and very much right next to you. 
The Demon’s sudden appearance started you so much you recoiled against the arm of the couch, with a few expletives rapidly escaping your mouth. He sat stock still, his large dark brown eyes were locked onto yours. He was dressed in fittingly all black, with a wide brim hat sitting atop his head. Long brown hair fell just past his shoulders. He was gorgeous. Fuck. 
“You’re…really sitting here?” 
He shrugged and rested his arm on the back of the couch, maintaining a comfortable distance from you, “I’ve been sitting here, darling.”
Your bottom lip disappeared between your teeth as you continued to take him in. 
“I just…I just can’t believe it was you at my party.”
The corners of his mouth threatened a smile, “Wasn’t even supposed to be there, honestly. I was just passing through and couldn’t resist crashing the party. I also found your…inaccurate costume amusing.” 
Your nose crinkled, “inaccurate?”
His eyes softened slightly, “Angels aren’t meant to be beautiful.” 
Your heart stuttered, and your voice wobbled to match, “th-they aren’t? What’s wrong with them?”
He leaned his side into the back of the couch, “oh, nothing if you like pompous, arrogant hall monitors who make their lack of free will everyone else’s problem.” 
Your eyebrows slowly raised at his words, “that’s easy to say, for a Demon.” 
His features hardened, “I have stories for days about those pricks that would make you understand my opinion of them, darling.” 
You don’t know why you felt emboldened to talk back to a Demon of all beings, but you were enjoying the adrenaline rush. 
“What exactly do you…do…as a Demon?”
“In general I feed off people's fears, mainly through their nightmares but I can do the same if they’re awake as well.” 
He said it so matter of fact. As if he was telling you what the weather was like outside. 
“I also run favors for any of the higher-ups if they need to get people’s…attention.”
“What do you mean?” 
“I just…make my presence known and usually that means that one,” he started counting with his fingers, “they know they’re being monitored and if they owe anything to anyone that they’re not going to get away with not fulfilling their end of the bargain. And two, it frightens them so much that I get a good meal out of it. Everyone wins.”
“How do you…feed…?”
“It’s not really ‘eating’ in the literal sense. It’s more of a one sided energy exchange. Human emotions have insane amounts of energy.”
You shifted in your seat, facing him more directly, “are you feeding off my fear right now?” 
He tilted his head a little, “but you’re not afraid, are you, darling?”
He was right. Apprehensive? Sure. Fascinated? Very. But afraid? Fearful? You couldn’t understand why, but you almost felt calm in front of him. 
“Do you want me to be afraid?” 
He leaned in closer, giving into his bold nature, “fear is the last thing I want to taste from you.” 
Heat flooded your body at his words. Did he want you? You found yourself leaning closer to him, your mind envisioning all sorts of scenarios at the implication. The air around you seemed to shift, and the Demon’s gaze darkened. 
“Why did you come back tonight?”
He stared at you, “You…fascinate me…”
Your eyebrow twitched in confusion, “fascinated?”
“I don’t have a lot of experience interacting with humans outside of when I visit them at night, but when I happened upon your party…I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. Something about you was different, and it was an unfamiliar feeling to me. I regret not staying longer that night.” 
“Oh…”
“But my question for you, darling, is why did you try to communicate again with the board?” He casted a sideways glance at your coffee table, before his dark eyes returned to yours. 
You fiddled with your fingertips, “I don’t know…I had this nagging feeling that what happened that night was actually real, and it wasn’t just typical halloween party bullshit. I tried a few more times, but never got a response until tonight.” 
Something in Jake’s chest tightened at the thought of her trying to reach out but he hadn’t been around to answer, or worse, something with truly malevolent intentions would have been on the other side of that board. 
“I guess we’re both a pair of curious creatures, then,” he said softly. 
He was right, curiosity was all your brain could focus on, besides those brown eyes and velvety-looking lips of his. Because of this, you found yourself scooting closer to the Demon, feeling that the space between you was unnecessarily far. 
  The Demon of course noticed you moving closer, and he shifted in his seat to face you more directly. He silently mapped out your face, taking in every feature, and feeling an itch in his hands to hold your soft cheeks. For once in his long infernal life, the hunger he was feeling wasn’t for fear. 
This wordless communication continued until your faces were inches apart. You fought against the urge to flutter your eyes close and lean in even closer. 
He curled a finger under your chin, “I don’t bite, I promise…” 
You swallowed at his words, shaking off any lasting nerves and leaned forward, brushing your lips with his. 
The Demon nearly froze as you made contact, but he quickly kissed you back, not wanting to risk you pulling away. His hands did as they wanted, and finally slid up your jaw to your cheeks cupping them softly as he tilted his head for a better angle. You melted into the kiss, parting your mouth slightly to allow him access. His tongue swept across your bottom lip, before venturing into your mouth and colliding with your own.
The kiss grew more heated by the second, and you found yourself leaning back on the couch, with your new companion beginning to hover over you. The cool metal from the necklaces he wore grazed your chest as he got closer to you, and you relaxed against the couch cushion, allowing him to get fully on top of you. 
Soon, he was flat on top of you and your hands were buried in his dark locks. The hat that sat upon his head was tilted back from the angle, but it was still getting in the way. You moved your hand up his scalp to fling it out of the way, when your fingers curled around something…hard. As soon as your hand came into contact with the strange texture, the Demon on top of you groaned and bit down on your lower lip. 
Curiosity won and you peeped your eyes open and fully pushed his hat off his head, not caring where it landed on the floor. Your eyes widened when you saw what your fingers were curled around. 
A horn. 
He had a pair of them, fixed parallel with each other and curling backwards slightly into sharp points. They were a deep crimson in color, bordering on oxblood. His thick dark hair parted perfectly around them, making the front pieces of his hair fall beautifully on either side of his face. Your body froze underneath him. 
“Y-you have…horns?”
Through heavy lids, he gazed down at you, “most Demons do, darling.” 
You nodded slightly, of course they did. Your fingertips grazed down the side of one, studying the texture along the way. The more your hand moved, the more his hips squirmed and grinded into yours. You became keenly aware of the growing bulge between you. 
“Does that feel good?” You asked, sliding your fingers up to see how sharp the point was. 
His brown eyes seemed to darken even more, and a low grumble came from his throat, “you have no idea.” Jake couldn’t hold back any longer and crashed his lips back onto yours. You gasped as his tongue lapped at your lips for entrance. He savored and swallowed every sound you made, wanting to memorize them all. His hands reached under the t-shirt you were wearing and you swiftly helped him take it off of you. You hadn’t been wearing a bra, and he immediately cupped both breasts, squeezing and kneading your flesh as you arched up into him. His fingers tweaked your nipples before he lowered his mouth on one, swirling his tongue around the hardened peak.
The Demon’s fingers reached down to the top of your leggings. They slid underneath the fabric slightly before he raised his head and looked to you for permission. You slipped your bottom lip between your teeth and nodded, raising your hips off the couch to help him out. 
You hadn’t bothered with underwear since you were at home,  so when Jake swiftly pulled your leggings down and off your legs, his eyes were immediately met with your core. 
His hands rested on the top of your bent knees, slowly spreading them to get a better look at you. You could feel the heat radiating off of his palms. It wasn’t your typical feeling of body heat. There was a pulse to it that crept up your thighs, and reminded you that he truly wasn’t a human being. 
You remained still, watching him look at you. Your eyes followed his one hand as it traveled along your inner thigh, slowly making its way to where you needed him most. His eyes were locked on your core. Gently, his thumb briefly toyed with some of the curls that resided there, before dipping down into your slit. He dragged it through your arousal, hyper aware of every jump and gasp you made at his touch. 
For a brief moment, you thought you had seen his eyes turn fully black before returning to the dark brown you were familiar with. He started to lower himself down, bringing his face closer and closer to your core. Those same piercing eyes flicked up to your face, silently asking for permission again. Quickly you nodded as your heart started hammering in your chest. 
He licked his lips in anticipation. What he hadn’t revealed to you, was that you were about to be the first human that he’d tasted this way. The Demon knew what fear, anxiety, dread, all of the above tasted like. But this? This was desire, your desire, and he couldn’t stop himself from spreading your swollen lips apart with his fingers lowering his mouth to your flesh. 
The taste had him immediately humming into you, tongue swirling around your folds to gather as much of your arousal onto his tongue as he could. The action had you bucking into his mouth, one hand shaking by your side while the other gripped the back of your couch. 
Jake wrapped his arm around your thigh, resting his hand on your hip bone to hold you in place. His tongue dipped into your entrance before traveling upwards to finally give your clit the attention it desperately needed. You cried out as it made contact, jerking your hips once again towards his mouth. He chuckled slightly against you before taking your clit fully into his mouth and sucking on it harshly enough to elicit a high pitched whine from your throat. 
“Jesus-fucking-Christ,” you gasped into the air. 
The Demon released your clit and gruffly whispered into your core, his lips close enough to brush against you as he spoke “Jesus isn’t the one making you feel like this, darling.” 
You hiccuped a laugh as his lips wrapped around your clit once more. 
His fingers on his unoccupied hand circled your entrance a few times before dipping a single finger inside. Feeling your warmth surround him had the Demon rutting his hips into the couch cushion. 
Your back arched as he added a second finger, and the hand at your side flew to his dark hair, desperate to get him even closer to your core. He groaned into you as your fingernails dug into his scalp.  With every curl of his fingers or swipe of his tongue, you felt your high hurtling towards you. You grinded down onto his fingers while he continued expertly swirling his tongue around your clit. His hair wasn’t enough. You needed something else to hold onto. Blindly, you loosened your grip to move your hand to the left and wrap around the dark ridged horn that grew from his head. 
The second your hand secured itself around his horn, Jake gasped around your clit, breathing out hot hair against your sensitive flesh before he made a low growl in his throat. His teeth nipped at your skin as his mouth closed around your clit, causing you to cry out once again. His fingers sped up inside you, knowing you were close and wanting to desperately know how you felt and what you sounded like when you came. 
With one more harsh curl of his finger against that spot inside you, and the way his tongue flattened out as it swiped up the left side of your clit, the tension in your body broke as your orgasm took over your body. You shouted his name towards your ceiling, not caring if your neighbors heard it through the paper thin walls of your apartment building. 
He worked you through your high, trying to prolong it as long as he could before he slowed his movements to gently guide you back down. 
Eventually, your body went slack underneath him, and your hand left his horn to rub your face as you came back to reality. Jake lightly peppered kisses up your thigh as he slowly withdrew his fingers. You quietly whimpered at the loss, hating how empty you suddenly felt. 
Jake licked his fingers clean, not wanting to waste a drop of you. He couldn’t get enough, and while he wasn’t sure if all humans tasted this good or not, he was certain that none of them could come close to how delicious you were. 
He carefully crawled up your body, admiring how you blissed out you looked with your eyes closed and a small smile on your lips. 
Slowly you opened your eyes, still in disbelief over what had just happened. The two of you stared at each other silently before Jake lowered his mouth onto yours, and you could taste yourself on his tongue. 
The kiss turned heated, and you started to grab at the shirt that he was still wearing. 
He murmured against your lips, “darling, as much fun as we’re having on your couch, if I’m going to have you,” the implication obvious in his tone, “I want to be able to take you properly, on a bed.” 
You stifled a laugh before turning your head towards the open door of your bedroom. Within seconds the Demon had gathered you in his arms as he made his way to the doorway. He crossed the threshold and gently laid you on your bed. 
“You’re wearing far too much,” you boldly observed. 
He smirked at you, “well we can’t have that, can we?” 
You smiled and sat up on your knees and quickly helped him shed the offending layers of clothing, leaving just a pile of black clothing and leather boots next to your bed. Your eyes drank him in, noting every dip and contour of his body. His skin was already glistening slightly with sweat after your activities on the couch. Your gaze lowered and followed the faint trail of hair under his belly button down to thick dark curls that surrounded the base of his cock. 
The way your eyes widened at the sight of him had the Demon fighting back a smirk, and he took his cock in his hand to give himself a few pumps just to tease you even more. Jake crawled up the bed to hover over you. 
If it weren’t for the horns, you wouldn’t have guessed a Demon was looking down at you, with how soft his gaze was. Your chest swelled unexpectedly at the silent emotions swimming behind his dark eyes. You had so many questions for him, and a need to know everything about him and his life. You didn’t want to think about the fact that he’d probably leave after tonight. 
His lips brushed yours with a feather-light softness, as if he was afraid you’d shatter underneath him like glass. The gesture had your heart stuttering in your chest. 
“I know you said you’re not a ghost,” you whispered, calling back to your first interaction, “but promise you won’t disappear like one…afterwards…”
Jake knew what you were asking, and every option weighed heavily on his mind. This was completely uncharted territory for him, and for all of his confidence he was unsure how to navigate it. 
He looked down, focusing on a lone freckle on your stomach before replying, “didn’t anyone tell you that Demons were dangerous?” 
There was a sheepishness to his tone that surprised you, but you countered, “you mean the same people who told me to not fuck with Ouija boards?”
“You never know who you’re talking to…”
“I don’t know you’re not so bad….” you mused. 
His eyes traveled up your body to meet yours, “I’m not an innocent creature, darling.”
Now it was your eyes that darkened, “show me…” 
You felt his thick cock twitch between you in response.
Jake surged forward and captured your lips with his. You wasted no time to return the kiss, cradling his jaw in your hands. Your legs went lax in his hands as he spread them apart to fit himself between them. He reached down to wrap his hand around his cock and dragged it through your slit. You gasped at the contact, and then smiled against his lips. 
“Please…,” you whispered, the need for him taking over your body. 
With a swivel of his hips, his cock plunged inside you, bottoming out as far as he could go. You threw your head back and cried out, relishing how full you felt. 
Jake didn’t even try to hold back the groan in his throat as your velvety heat enveloped him. He tried to give himself a minute to catch his breath. Moreover, he was trying to give you a minute to adjust, but your legs wrapped around his hips, sending the message to move. Happy to oblige you, he reared his hips back nearly all the way, before thrusting forward hard enough that your ankles shook slightly against the small of his back. 
Your mouth hung open and your eyes were screwed shut, and the Demon leaned down to whisper in your ear, “alright there, darling?” 
You tilted your head to reply, “if you don’t start moving…”
He chuckled and whispered something you were sure sounded like a playful, “demanding little thing…” before settling into a steady rhythm. Your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders as he moved, and the feeling of his flesh under your hands sent a sharp jolt of pleasure through your body. 
Jake buried his face in the crook of your neck, planting kisses along your neck as he gained speed. Soon he was all but slamming into you, making your bed creek to the point where the frame was getting closer and closer to hitting the wall behind it. 
There was only one light on in the room, a small desk light in the corner by your laptop, It wasn’t bright enough to fully illuminate the room, but it cast a warm glow from the side of the room it was on. Your eyes fluttered open briefly as you clung to the Demon inside you, and you noticed that the shadows on the walls and the ceilings looked…different. They were moving in ways that weren’t natural, in fact they shouldn’t have been moving at all given the source of light. But they were wobbling and morphing into different abstract shapes around you. It was then you remembered what Jake had done to prove his presence in your apartment: the trick with the shadows and how he used them to cloak all visible light in the room. 
Your attention on the shadows didn’t last however, as he hiked one of your legs higher on his side, pushing it towards you chest and giving him a new angle to work with. This let him hit even deeper, and the head of his cock was rutting against a spot inside you that had you gasping for air. 
Jake felt you squeezing him harder and more frequently as he continued his pace, and he could tell you were getting close. He smirked against the skin of your shoulder and reached down with his other hand to grab your ass cheek and knead the soft flesh as he worked you towards your second orgasm of the night. 
At this point you were a babbling mess underneath him, holding on for dear life as you hurtled towards the edge. He lifted his head up and greedily crashed his lips into yours, wanting to feel every gasp and reedy sigh coming from you. 
It was all too much, and you couldn’t hold back anymore. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head and a cry flew from your mouth as your orgasm took over, shattering beneath him. 
“Yeah…yeah that's it, darling…doing so well,” he encouraged in a low voice as he continued to piston his hips and work you through your high. 
Jake slowed as you began to come down, and your muscles felt like jello from how tense they had been leading up to your orgasm. His lips pressed sweetly into your cheek, as he felt you relax even further onto the bed. He hoped you weren’t too tired, because he wasn’t through with you. 
Before you could register which way was up, the Demon pulled out of you, hissing at the sudden rush of cold air on his cock. Your eyes opened a bit in curiosity, as you knew he hadn’t came yet. The shadows were still flickering on the walls to their own accord, resembling flames with their movements. 
He sat up on his knees, resting on his haunches and taking your hips in his hands. In one swift motion, he had you on your stomach, yanking your hips backwards before he reared back himself and slammed back into you from behind. 
You cried out into the pillow beneath you, your body still sensitive from your last orgasm. All of her nerve endings were on fire, and lightning bolts of pleasure radiated from your core as he rutted into you at a brutal pace. 
It was a struggle to keep yourself properly on your hands and knees, as every thrust had you lurching forward and nearly off balance. Curse words fell from your mouth, harmonizing with the grunts and heavy breathing from the Demon behind you. His thick hands and long finger were squeezing your hips in such a way you were sure there would be marks left behind, but you didn’t care, you loved how rough he was at that moment. A stark contrast to how he had been in the previous round. 
He slowed his pace slightly to these long and deliberate strokes, wanting to really savor how incredible you felt wrapped around him. But while this angle felt amazing not only for you and for him, he felt a little far away from you, and he didn’t like that at all. 
While maintaining his pace he gathered you up in his arms and pulled you upright, securing your back to his front, and his chin on your shoulder. The new angle had him thrusting upwards into you, and it made your head fall back onto his shoulder. Your legs were starting to shake from the excursion, and instinctively you reached up and took one of his horns in your hand to keep yourself balanced. 
This caused the Demon to growl next to your ear. His hips involuntarily swiveled and pushed his aching deeper inside you at the feeling of your hand on one of his horns. The combined sensations had his own high looming in the distance, but he didn’t want to cross the finish line alone. He slid his hand down your torso to your clit, immediately figuring out the pattern that caused the biggest reaction from you. 
“You got one more for me? Hmm? Do you, darling?” He spoke into your ear and pressed his lips on the shell of it. “I know you do; you can do it. You’re already squeezing me so tight.” 
He was whispering pure filth into your ear as he kept rutting into you and working your clit. He didn’t just want to feel you come again, he needed it. Once around his fingers and another around his cock wasn’t enough for him. He needed more. 
Your body started to tremble in his arms, and he knew you were right on the edge. He wasn’t very far behind you as his cock stiffened even more. Within seconds you were clamping down around him again, throwing your head back and crying out towards the ceiling. As your high slammed into you again, the Demon’s own orgasm course through him. He let out a low groan as his hips stuttered a few times before pushing into you one final time, emptying himself completely. In the midst of it all, the shadows closed in on you both briefly before retreating and settling back in their rightful places, looking completely normal now. 
His hand slowly circled your clit, trying to prolong your orgasm as long as he could, but when your body jolted at the sensitivity he stopped and slowly withdrew from you. Your legs started to give out and he quickly caught you and gently laid you back down on the bed, not wanting you to fall. 
The sight of his release slowly rolling down your thigh distracted him for a second, before he remembered it was the gentlemanly thing to do to clean you up. Thankfully, you had a bathroom attached to your room, so he didn’t have to go too far to get a warm washcloth to clean you both up. The whole time you watched him through heavy lidded eyes, exhausted from the whole evening. 
On his way back from throwing the rag in your hamper, he noted his pile of clothes and his hat in the other room. He turned back to your bed, your eyes were nearly shut and you were under the covers. An intrusive thought flashed through his mind, that it would be so easy for him to gather his things and leave, letting you wake up in the morning and chalk it all up to a wine-induced dream. But then your request from earlier filtered through his thoughts, and a pang shot through his chest. No…he couldn’t do that. Most surprisingly, he didn’t want to. 
He shook his head before crawling into your bed, wrapping his arms around you and letting you rest your head on his chest. 
You didn’t want to fall asleep, and you tried real hard to stay awake. But his lips rested on the crown of your head, while his fingers traced little patterns on your lower back. It wasn’t long before you both drifted off into a restful sleep. 
Hours later, when the sun had fully risen and light was streaming through your window, you were awoken by a low snore near your ear. Blinking your eyes open, you looked up to find Jake’s face inches from yours. His arms were around your waist and he was practically sharing your pillow, but you didn’t mind. Carefully you turned over to face him, trying not to wake him up. His features looked so much softer this way, and you could fully admire the slope of his nose and how his dark eyelashes fanned out on his cheeks. He was one of the most beautiful men you had ever seen. 
The Demon began to stir awake, and his eyes slowly opened to find you laying in the crook of his arm, absently fiddling with his necklaces. 
“Morning…,” he murmured, voice nearly an octave lower from sleep. 
“Morning…,” you replied, unable to hide the smile that slid across your face. 
His hand reached up and cupped your face, tilting it up wards so he could slot his mouth over yours in a languid kiss. 
As you pulled away, you whispered a question against his lips.
“Not a ghost?”
His arms tightened around you and pulled you closer to him. 
“Not a ghost, darling.” 
FIN
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Tag List:  @dannyandthekiszkas , @readyforthegarden , @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine , @wideminded-dreamer , @runwayblues , @wildbluesorbit , @llightmyllovee , @rhythm-of-space , @sacredthefran , @writingcold , @alwaysonthemend , @wetkleenex-gvf , @josh-iamyour-mama , @lightsofthe-living-gvf , @gvfcinema, @sacredthethreadgvf , @losfacedevil , @jakekiszkasbuttsweat , @shutupdevvie , @hearts-hunger , @gretavanfleetposts , @ascendingtostardust , @mackalah , @andromeda-raine-gvf , @jake-kiszkas-smirk , @gracev0609 , @sacredjake , @earthlysorrows , @gvfpal , @myownparadise96 , @itsafullmoon , @gvfmelbourne, @twistedmelodies , @that-witchy-pan , @gold-mines-melting , @texas-bbq-pringles , @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface , @childinthegardenn , @char289 , @stardustvanfleet , @sunfl0wer-power , @holdingup-fallingsky , @bladenotblaze , @gretavanlace , @lipstickitty , @jjwasneverhere , @josiee-gvf , @peaceloveunitygvf , @musicislove3389 , @gretavanhockey , @gretavanazula
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risingsunresistance · 1 month ago
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would you believe me if i said this is skyblock fanart 😭
explanation below for anyone interested. it's a bit long 🐖
basic explanation for people who dont go here. or the tldr: the rift is a separate dimension in hypixel skyblock where reality and time itself do not function the same. the other npcs tend to take on different forms in there. this is my interpretation of what might happen to techno if he were to travel into the rift based on some other theories about the place and my own headcanons for him
less basic explanation for the rest of you: ok so. first thing to get out of the way, the rift isnt completely separate from the main reality. SOME of your own thoughts and feelings influence the way you exist in the realm and the way the realm itself behaves. not very many people seem to take on forms ENTIRELY divorced from themselves, save for maybe enigma (we dont know who he was originally, if he was anyone at all)
but i have a theory backed up by absolutely nothing that your rift form is mostly influenced by three different things: your inherit magic, your ability to control and manipulate that magic, and your overall stability. stability will look different from person to person and you dont always know if someone is stable or not just by talking to them. even something as simple as a phobia might change them drastically. still, the rift is unstable itself, so sometimes people get altered horrifically even though they were perfectly fine
my main points of reference for this are that some of our most altered characters are some who check all these boxes, and some who are relatively normal dont check any of them. lathrop/porhtal is split into a bunch of eyes and has one human-looking form that sits motionless at the wither cage and doesnt speak. we know he was incredibly magical, eventually got a great grip on said magic, but was also very very unstable. the wizard is very magical, is a master of said magic, and is pretty well put together. he is nearly unchanged in the rift. barry is the same as the wizard but went a bit nuts before he left, so in the rift he seems just a bit... off
on the opposite side of things, maddox is someone who we are told has ZERO magic in him. the only thing that changes in the rift is the fact that his helmet is red now. kat has never shown us any magic and seems to be pretty normal, so she's also just a different color palette in the rift and happens to have a weird job
anyways back to techno. (btw if you're reading this and happen to not be a regular here this is a mix of headcanons and "canon" but im treating it ALL as real and true facts for the sake of this drawing ok). he could be one of the most magical people here... but he has no idea how to use any of it on command. if you asked him if he possessed any magic, he would say no. his healing ability, while it is VERY strong, is passive, and he was only able to gather magic during the resistance fight with the help of the wands we were given. but he was able to gather a lot of magic during that fight, concentrate it, and release it all on his own. not many people could handle that. he also worships the blood god and has its blessing, and has some connection with spirits in the form of the voices / chat / whatever you wanna call them. there might be even more to him, who knows
so that's already a setup for disaster, but what about his stability? well he's constantly followed by a chorus of thousands of voices all screaming at him and god itself might be hanging around in that mix, led a war against the server staff and a dictator that lasted for 2 years skyblock time, and did the whole potato war thing which was ~70 years server time iirc. i wouldnt really call him stable KFJHG
so what you end up with is a very violent beastly thing, nearly unrecognizable save for the fact that he's still a pig (my first point, you dont become a COMPLETELY different thing under most circumstances). i think he's entirely out of control of himself and would not remember a trip to the rift. a stability elixir might help him in terms of being more aware of himself (i think sirius really downplayed what that potion does lmao it's not just a fun drink, he wanted to guarantee himself some control over his mind while he was conducting his "business" in the rift) but there's no saving the physical form
i wanted him to be beastly to mimic what happens to "dante" in the rift (the memory of dante, it's complicated. but dante and bacte are most likely two different people who are also the same person). yeah he was a big slime in the overworld, but now he's more monstrous. he also doesnt speak, he might not have any idea what's going on. same could be said for techno in a way. of course this is related to dante, what else would you expect from me :P i want to see them fight at the colosseum so bad...
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but anyways THIS WAS SO FUN AAAAAUGH IM SO GLAD I FINALLY GOT THROUGH THIS. MY IPAD FINALLY DIED AFTER AN ENTIRE DECADE IN THE MIDDLE OF LINING IT AND I HAD TO CONTINUE ON A NEW TABLET WHEN I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE DRAWING WITHOUT A PEN... THIS DRAWING WAS CURSED KJFDHGK
here's a version without chat and the blood god so you can just see the big hog
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and here's my old concept from july of last year for comparison :P
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initially in the post for the old sketch i said he was based on what i think would happen if he got a hold of some sulphur. i actually think that would be about the same as his rift form because sulphur seems to do very similar things under certain circumstances. always corrupts your form, can sometimes make creatures MUCH larger (matriarch, kuudra, magma boss), heightens your magic (mage outlaw), and can make you incredibly violent (barbarian duke)
bye i hope i tricked someone into reading a really long skyblock theory post expecting more info about techno FKJHG
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interstellarsystem · 6 months ago
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To all disabled alterhumans, have a great disability pride month, and may your month be filled with many good days, whatever that means for you.
Every disabled alterhuman deserves to be seen and proud. Proud that they are seen, proud that they are different and still worth the same as any other, proud that they are alive, or any combination of the above and anything else. Be proud that you are you.
Alterhumans who feel dysphoric due to their disability, and alterhumans who get some level of euphoria due to their disability.
Disabled people who are alterhuman because of their disability, and people who are disabled because they are alterhuman.
Alterhumans with psychosis, whether their alterhuman identity is psychotic in nature or not.
Plurals and systems with disordered symptoms, who find it hard to remember things between switches, who dissociate or who might have trouble masking themselves.
Those who are alterhuman due to special interests, hyperfixations or hyperfocus, and alterhumans whose identities change with these fixations.
Those with disabilities that are deemed "scary" or hold a lot of stigma, like personality disorders or psychosis.
Physically disabled alterhumans, even if their disability "goes against" what their alterhuman 'type is.
Blind creatures who normally have great eyesight, wheelchair users who are running or climbing creatures, creatures who are hard of hearing, creatures with tough skin who bruise too easily now, creatures with complex vocal systems that cannot talk or have a hard time doing so.
Those with phobias related to their own alterhumanity, whether their 'type be their own phobia or their 'type interacts with it in some way.
Alterhumans with intrusive thoughts of all kinds, related to their alterhumanity or not.
Those who are alterhuman as a way of coping with their disabilities.
Disabled alterhumans who need others to help care for them, even if it includes basic things such as showering, eating, dressing or using the bathroom.
Alterhumans whose disability cannot easily be seen or cannot be seen at all, and alterhumans whose disabilities are easily visible.
Alterhumans who are discriminated against or discounted for their disability, either in or out of the alterhuman community.
And every single other kind of disabled alterhuman. This month is for you. Be visible if you would like, advocate for those like you, and be proud that you are here.
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saintmuses · 10 months ago
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❝𝙣𝙤 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙚𝙡𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 𝙘𝙖𝙣❞
Pairing:
Jonathan Crane x Innocent!Reader
Summary:
They were best friends since high school then he broke her when she became his Patient X.
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Warning(s): Dub-con. Pervert/depraved!Jonathan. Implied corruption. Implied abduction. Power imbalance. Naivety. Nudity. He struggled with his feelings for her. This is dark due to mental health and toxin usage. Minors, dni!
Word Count: 1.5k
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“The mind can only take so much.” He had once said that to one of his minions, and he knew that it was true when he was accosted by his own toxin. He had seen things, the things he wished he hadn’t seen. His best friend dying over and over. The only person he’d ever cared about.
The door closed behind him with a quiet thud, he threw his scarecrow burlap mask to the side table in the foyer carelessly. 
Something was different tonight, and he couldn’t put a finger on it.
“Jon?” A voice murmured from the end of the hallway, making him inhale sharply.
He exhaled softly before turning to her, “it’s time to go to bed, my dear.” He murmured; his eyes raked over her figure to ensure nothing was out of place.
He used his creation to experiment on her phobia, and after so many trials and tribulations, he had broken her. Not in the way he had imagined, but he broke her, nevertheless.
She went from one of the smartest people he had ever got to known with fire that could scorch everything, reverting to an innocent docile person that he had to take care of. Obviously after what happened, he couldn’t give her back to her family, but it had been five years since he took her in. Of course, he had to implant a farce where she was abducted and declared she was dead.
Something was different tonight, and he did not understand what it was.
He sat down on the edge of her mattress, fingers brushing against the hem of her t-shirt, his touch lingering as he slowly lifted them. She was delicate in his hands, and he couldn't help but feel protective and possessive over her this time. To him the feeling felt foreign.
With a gentle tug, he pulled the shirt over her head, revealing the smooth skin beneath. Her breathing quickened, and Jonathan could tell she was nervous. He shushed her gently, assuring her as he did every night. "It's okay.” He cooed softly, she was his best friend and only she got to see the side of him that no one else would ever get.
He traced his fingers along the waistband of her pants,  and with a subtle tug, they slid down her legs, leaving her standing before him in nothing but her bra and underwear.
He could see right through the bundle of energy she was radiating. "Y/N, you don't have to be afraid of me," he assured her once again as he gently tugged at her bra strap, loosening it. "I'd never hurt you."
You broke her. His mind whispered, almost viciously teetering on victorious as if he was proud that he broke his best friend.
“I know you won’t.” she murmured shyly. Her voice was soft and sweet.
"That's my good girl," he said softly, his warm breath brushing against her arm. With gentle fingers, he unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor, taking in the sight of her perfect breasts. His possessiveness spiked once more.
He had never once looked at her breasts or anywhere on her body when he would help her to change clothes.
After what happened in the Arkham Asylum, being sprayed in the face with his toxin, and seeing what he had saw, it shifted something inside of him.
Perhaps there was a reason why he kept her like a singing docile bird in a gilded cage. The one that did not fly too far, always circling around him.
He turned to the side slightly on the bed and grabbed a large t-shirt from beside him.
She looked at it, confusion flitted her curious gaze. “Is that my shirt?”
"No, this shirt is for you to sleep in tonight," he explained gently, guiding her to slip it over her head. It was huge on her, dwarfing her frame, but it was comfortable, and that was all that mattered.
He could feel the heat emanating from her body as he slid his hands up her thighs, feeling the soft skin beneath his fingertips. His touch was gentle yet strangely possessive as he reached for her underwear under the shirt, slowly sliding them down her legs. "There we go.”
As soon as his fingers enclosed the underwear that she had stepped out of, he froze when he felt something damp on the fabric.
“Jonny?”
His heart skipped a beat at the sound of her sweet, innocent voice calling him "Jonny". He couldn't help but feel a rush of emotions - protectiveness, possessiveness, and something else he couldn't quite put his finger on.
He could feel her looking at him. “Are you okay?”
Clearing his throat "I'm fine, my dear," he said reassuringly, forcing a smile as his fingers tightened on the fabric. "Now, how about we get you into bed?”
He watched her climb onto the bed, his eyes never leaving her. He couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret as she turned away from him. It was then that he brought the underwear to his face, inhaling deeply. He couldn't help but inhale her scent, memorizing every detail of it. It was intoxicating, like a drug to him. As she turned her face to him, he quickly tucked the underwear away in the pocket of his dress pants, trying to regain his composure.
She looked concerned, “Jonny?”
"I'm fine," he repeated, his voice more shaky than he would have liked. "Now, why don't you snuggle under these covers and get warm?"
When he was helping her lifting the comforter up, the long t-shirt ridden high on her thighs while she accidentally spread her legs while trying to get underneath the comforter.
He couldn't help but notice how her legs spread, revealing more of her soft skin of her thighs. His possessiveness flared once more, and he couldn't resist reaching out to gently pull the shirt down further, covering her thighs completely.
He noticed the slight blush on her cheeks and knew she was embarrassed. He chuckled softly, brushing off her impending apology. "Don't worry about it."
His heart melted at the sight of her sweet smile, and he couldn't resist leaning over to gently press a soft kiss to her forehead. "Sleep well, my dear."
The next morning, she was still sleeping soundly as he opened the door to check on her while wiping down his glasses with a soft cloth before placing it back on his face.
Jonathan couldn't help but notice how adorable she looked, all warm and snuggled under the covers. He strode over to her bed, “wake up, Y/N.”
A groan of protest emitted from her throat as she burrowed into the pillow.
He chuckled softly, knowing she wasn't a morning person. He was comforted to know despite breaking her, she still inhibited some pieces of her old self. "Come on, it's time to start your day." He gently pulled the covers off of her, revealing her body under the t-shirt which so happened to ride up on where her thighs met her ass, revealing a sliver of her bare pussy. He swallowed hard.
He couldn't believe how innocent she looked. The sight of her exposed pussy under the fabric of the t-shirt that rode up under where her thighs were was driving him crazy.
He couldn't resist any longer. With a trembling hand, he pulled the t-shirt up further, exposing her entire pussy to his hungry gaze. It was even more beautiful than he had imagined.
He couldn't help but to release an inaudible groan as he looked at her pretty pussy. It was the most erotic sight he had ever seen. He continued to shake her gently, "wake up, darling." His voice was hoarse before he cleared his throat. “It’s time to get dressed.”
He watched her carefully, noticing the way she stood by the bed. He walked over to the edge of the bed and sat down on it, spreading his legs apart. "Come here." His voice was soft but commanding.
His heart raced as she stood between his legs. He could feel the heat radiating off of her, making it hard for him to concentrate on anything but how much he wanted her. "We’re going to do something a bit different today," he murmured, “turn around.”
He watched her turn around despite her confusion, revealing her back to him. He then laid a hand on the middle of her back, telling her to bend over.
The t-shirt ridden up to her upper thighs as she bent over, and he bit down his bottom lip as he lifted the hem of the t-shirt to reveal her pussy again.
“Aren’t you supposed to put an underwear on me first before you do anything else?” she asked quietly.
He smirked softly, "Not this time." He leaned in closer to her, his warm breath brushing against her skin. He could feel himself trembling as he looked at her exposed pussy.
He leaned in as close as he could towards her pussy without touching her and then he inhaled deeply, smelling her pussy then his eyes rolled back in pleasure, feeling the familiar sensation of his cock swelling in his dress pants. He took a deep breath, savoring the sweet, feminine scent that bombarded his senses.
“Jonny?” His eyes refocused when he heard her sweet voice.
"Shh, darling.” He whispered. "I was just making sure everything is fine," he lied as he inhaled deeply again, his eyes closing.
Something was different last night, and it showed when he saw her differently.
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namtanlovesfilm · 2 months ago
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burnout syndrome: everything we know & my guesses
since burnout syndrome seems to be in its very early stages of development, here is what we know & certain of my plot point guesses:
while the show is written by jittirain (who wrote theory of love), it does not come from one of her novels. it will therefore be an original script made for this series.
offgun must have had some details about doing this show for about 6 months, since off has worked out very intensely almost every day since then (since p'nuchie required it for this role), and it also coincides with gun saying that off would have a six pack next year. I believe offgun had a knowledge that their next show would be more mature & sexual, which is when p'nuchie got brought in, and I believe dew arrived later as the third one in the love triangle, around the same time jittirain signed on.
p'nuchie working with offgun again is surprising considering her previous treatment by gmmtv (cutting her budget repeatedly & not promoting not me at all despite p'nuchie being a big deal director), however it is not THAT surprising since not me was by far her most popular & mainstream project, and she has always had a soft spot for gun with whom she has worked repeatedly. she also seems quite close to off.
now, for the plot: we do not know any character's name or much about them at all, which is why this project really seems to still be in its infancy. I would not expect an early 2025 release... I think this will be an end of the year release à la not me & cooking crush.
gun seems to play a poor character compared to white in not me, while off plays a rich character compared to sean in not me... it's a role reversal! gun's character seems to be the struggling artist type, and an openly queer character. he's basically yok from not me (yes I'm keeping the not me comparisons bc there's a LOT!) he's down to do any odd job for money which is how he meets off's character. he seems quite daring & confident, while also a bit introverted & in his own world.
off's character definitely has todd vibes for me (and not just bc that pool kiss scene reminded me of the first toddblack confrontation lol). he seems to be a businessman but is very shady. he is described as a "bad boy" by emi's character, and he hires gun to be his "stand-in"... but he's still in the same room, dictating everything to him?? he says he doesn't like people, but what does it mean exactly? does he have a phobia of people? then in this case, why is he going outside so easily? all of these questions will be answered once the script will be fully written imo. I think that, just like not me, the mock trailer & final show will be very different but evoke the same vibe & characters. in any case, off's character is highly intriguing, he's clearly a red flag & kind of a weirdo, and I can't wait to know more!
next we have dew's character, who is a fortune teller? probably not as a job but as a hobby? (side note, I find it funny that so many gmmtv 2025 featured fortune tellers & psychics lol.) although I feel like choosing dew for the role bc they seem to make him want to seem a soft nerd against off's character who's possessive & rough is kind of a miscast bc since dew is SO tall he just doesn't give off these kinds of vibes imo, I'm quite interested in this love triangle. both dew & gun seem to like each other, and gun's tears when dew leaves are giving SERIOUS "in love" vibes. HOWEVER, gun's character definitely has a strong attraction for off & uses him as his artistic muse... the last quote of the trailer is "if one day he has a heart... I can love him, right?" indicating that off's character has shown gun that he has no heart but gun falls for him anyways... I JUST WANNA KNOW THE BACK STORY FOR THESE CHARACTERS SO BAD BC I KNOW IT'S GONNA HIT SO HARD!!! but to get back to dew, I really wanna know where he fits into this story, because...
this is almost guaranteed to be an offgun endgame. I say almost bc there's always the possibility of it being a poly endgame but let's be for real, I don't see dewoff having any chemistry lol (though they can surprise me, I didn't think dew would have romantic chemistry with gun either!) but the fact that offgun have been a stable ship for 9 years, that they came out on stage from a different platform than dew, the positioning in the poster... and also everything in the trailer indicates that they are endgame. I'm curious to see what happens to dew then though lol, we shall see.
I'm very curious about emi's role. she obviously played gun's sister in the trainee, and now she plays his best friend so she's now the only actor who has been featured in 2 offgun shows with sing, especially back to back lol! seeing how there's only 5 characters shown for now & she was in the main actors list alongside offgundew... I think she'll have a big role, but I have no idea what it can be. in any case, I stan!
lastly for the characters, we have thor, who I'm also really intrigued by. we know he works in burnout bar but WHAT is burnout bar? why do they match random people by numbers? does everyone who comes there needs to be burned out? as a background place for the show, this bar is interesting & reminds me of the one in the jungle (which also featured off!) I wonder if we'll see off in that bar, even though it's been established as dewgun's place in the mock trailer, it's too central to the story to keep its main character out of it for the whole show. I'm hoping thor has a bigger role than just the bartender lol.
in conclusion, a lot of things are very vague about this show, which is a bit frustrating bc I WANNA KNOW MORE, but also really nice bc it means that, compared to certain other shows from gmmtv 2025, we won't be spoiled most of the story by the trailer :) also I'm betting that they will add one or two other cast members, but they haven't written the show yet so all of the characters aren't fleshed out yet. anyways, I can't wait! 💚💚💚
EDIT: turns out I have more to say lol
so I was looking at the poster closely while editing my thumbnail for my gmmtv 2025 reaction video, and I noticed something:
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the whole poster is in red tones: the background, the title, the lighting in their hair... and their clothes... EXCEPT for dew's shirt.
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although this is just a mock poster & once again, the show will likely evolve once the script is written, the visual story telling of this poster is extremely interesting!
dew's shirt is light blue compared to the rest of the poster which is overwhelmingly red. blue represents calm and peace, which seems in line with the little we have seen from dew's character so far.
gun's shirt is pink. in terms of value, him & dew both have lighter colored shirts, but in different families. dew's blue is a cold color while gun's pink is a warm color.
now onto off, who has a dark red shirt. in terms of value, his is completely different from both dew and gun's, which also fits the little of his character we've seen. he is called a "bad boy" and "chaos" in this trailer after all, which fits the darker red color well. however, in terms of color family, off & gun are more in line bc they're both wearing a shade of red which is a warm color. since this show will clearly hinge on their sexual desire for one another, this makes sense. and since the poster unity is in the red, which IS the color of passion, sex, and violence, it is clear that offgun are the main pairing of this show, with off's hand on gun's head while dew is only passively touching gun by being close to him.
although red is the color of violence, I don't think there will be much physical violence in this show, as the trailer didn't hint for it at all. although I wouldn't be surprised we get a scene of off & dew sparring to stay in line with the classic bl love triangle tropes. though since dew is much taller than off, I wonder how they'd make it look like a fair fight lmao.
anyways, back to the poster. by having gun & dew's clothes in the same value which is light, as well as dew snuggling to gun's heart, we can infere that gun will first like dew. after all, we meet dew before off in the trailer, and it seems to be the same for gun's character. dew is the "good guy" in this show, the one that "makes sense", where things are "easy." however, his clothes ARE in a different color family as gun's. blue is calm, but it's also cold. which is why dew seems to be able to walk away from his job with off, and more importantly, gun, in the trailer.
but for off, whose clothes are darker than gun, showing his "bad" side, he is at least in the same color family as gun's. we see in the trailer that gun has a lot of sexual desire for off, which is clear with the drawing he does of him where off's genitals are OUT and he's touching himself:
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side note - I'm gonna need the full nude scene to include the moment off touches himself while gun dies in a sea of desire bc I genuinely think this will be the peak of queer cinema. yok in not me said nude drawing isn't sexual? make it. please p'nuchie, make it sexual in burnout syndrome 🙏
second side note - damn they made off's waist so snatched in that drawing, I love it 😏
ANYWAYS to conclude: we have offgun showing so much more visual cohesion in this poster, which really makes me think this will not be a full love triangle (in a poly way) but a show where the logical suitor (dew) gets overtaken by the chaotic, messy one (off.) now, how are they going to make it make sense and make us root for the bad boy? idk & I CANNOT wait!
although I do think that having dew (light blue) and off (dark red) have some sort of gay scene together WOULD make sense, and it would even more make sense that they wouldn't work bc they're literal opposites in everything, creating even more stakes in the love triangle.
that's it, I've ruled out that I don't want a poly ship or any trio scene, I want offdew having hooked up in the past & it haunting them LMAO
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covid-safer-hotties · 3 months ago
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Also preserved on our archive (Daily updates!)
By Stephani Sutherland
Gentle nasal spray vaccines against COVID, the flu and RSV are coming. They may work better than shots in the arm
Alyson Velasquez hates needles. She never liked getting shots as a kid, and her anxiety only grew as she got older. “It really ballooned in my teens and early 20s,” she says. “It became a full-blown phobia.” She would panic at the sight of a needle being brought into an exam room; more than once she passed out. Velasquez says that she took an antianxiety medication before one appointment yet still ran around the room screaming inconsolably “like I was a small child; I was 22.” After that episode Velasquez, now a 34-year-old financial planner in southern California, quit needles completely. “No vaccinations, no bloodwork. For all of my 20s it was a no-go for me,” she says.
Then COVID showed up. “It finally hit a point where it wasn’t just about me,” Velasquez says. “It felt so selfish not to do this for the greater public health and the safety of our global community.” So she got vaccinated against the SARS-CoV-2 virus in 2021, although she had to sit on her husband’s lap while he held her arms. “It was a spectacle. The poor guy at CVS ... he did ask me, ‘Are you sure you want to do this?’” She very much did. “I’m very pro-vaccine. I am a rational human. I understand the necessity of [getting] them,” she insists. But today she still struggles with each injection.
Those struggles would end, however, if all her future vaccinations could be delivered by a nasal spray. “Oh, my God, amazing!” Velasquez says.
The amazing appears to be well on its way. Vaccines delivered through the nose are now being tested for several diseases. In the U.S., early clinical trials are showing success. Two of these vaccines have generated multiple immune system responses against the COVID-causing virus in people who received them through a puff up the nose; earlier this year their makers received nearly $20 million from Project NextGen, the Biden-Harris administration’s COVID medical initiative. Researchers are optimistic that a nasal spray delivering a COVID vaccine could be ready for the U.S. as soon as 2027. Although recent efforts have focused on inoculations against SARS-CoV-2, nasal vaccines could also protect us against the flu, respiratory syncytial virus (RSV), and more.
A few nasal vaccines have been introduced in the past, but they’ve been beset by problems. The flu inoculation FluMist has not gained popularity because of debates about its effectiveness, and a different vaccine was pulled from the market decades ago because some people had serious side effects. In China and India, nasal vaccines for COVID have been approved because those countries prioritized their development during the pandemic, whereas the U.S. and other wealthy nations opted to stick with arm injections. But this new crop of vaccines takes advantage of technology that produces stronger immune responses and is safer than preparations used in the past.
In fact, immunologists say these spritzes up the nose—or inhaled puffs through the mouth—can provide faster, stronger protection against respiratory viruses than a shot in the arm. That is because the new vaccines activate a branch of the immune system that has evolved for robust, rapid responses against airborne germs. “It may be more likely to really prevent infection from getting established,” says Fiona Smaill, an infectious disease researcher at McMaster University in Ontario. Such inoculations may also help reduce the enormous inequities in vaccine access revealed by the pandemic. These formulations should be cheaper and easier to transport to poor regions than current shots.
But nasal vaccines still face technical hurdles, such as how best to deliver them into the body. And unlike injected vaccines, which scientists can measure immune responses to with blood tests alone, testing for immunity that starts in nose cells is more challenging. But researchers working in this field agree that despite the hurdles, nasal formulations are the next step in vaccine evolution.
Traditional vaccines injected through the skin and into an arm muscle provide excellent protection against viruses. They coax immune cells into making widely circulated antibodies—special proteins that recognize specific structural features on viruses or other invading pathogens, glom on to them and mark them for destruction. Other immune cells retain a “memory” of that pathogen for future encounters.
Intramuscular injection vaccines are good at preventing a disease from spreading, but they do not stop the initial infection. A nasal spray does a much better job. That’s because sprays are aimed directly at the spot where many viruses first enter the body: the nose and the tissue that lines it, called the mucosa.
Mucosa makes up much of our bodies’ internal surfaces, stretching from the nose, mouth and throat down the respiratory tract to the lungs, through the gastrointestinal tract to the anus, and into the urogenital tract. Mucosa is where our bodies encounter the vast majority of pathogenic threats, Smaill says, be it flu, COVID, or bacterial infections that attack the gut. This tough, triple-layered tissue is specialized to fight off invaders with its thick coating of secretory goo—mucus—and with a cadre of resident immune cells waiting to attack. “Mucosa is really the first line of defense against any infection we’re exposed to,” Smaill says.
Mucosal immunity not only prepares the immune system for the fight where it occurs but also offers three different types of protection—at least one more than a shot does. Nasal vaccines and shots both mobilize immune messenger cells, which gather the interlopers’ proteins and display them on their surfaces. These cells head to the lymph nodes, where they show off their captured prize to B and T cells, which are members of another part of the immune system called the adaptive arm. B cells, in turn, produce antibodies, molecules that home in on the foreign proteins and flag their owners—the invading microbes—for destruction. Killer T cells directly attack infected cells, eliminating them and the microbes inside. This provides broad protection, but it takes time, during which the virus continues to replicate and spread.
That’s why a second type of protection, offered only by the mucosal tissue, is so important. The mucosa holds cells of the innate immune system, which are the body’s “first responders.” Some of these cells, called macrophages, recognize invasive microbes as foreign and swallow them up. They also trigger inflammation—an alarm sounded to recruit more immune cells.
Another part of this localized response is called tissue-resident immunity. These cells don’t have to detect telltale signs of a pathogen and make a long journey to the infected tissue. They are more like a Special Forces unit dropped behind enemy lines where a skirmish is occurring rather than waiting for the proverbial cavalry to arrive. This localized reaction can be quite potent. Its activation is notoriously difficult to demonstrate, however, so historically it’s been hard for vaccine makers to show they’ve hit the mark. But it turns out that one type of antibody, called IgA, is a good indicator of mucosal immunity because IgAs tend to predominate in the mucosa rather than other parts of the body. In an early trial of CoviLiv, a nasal COVID vaccine produced by Codagenix, about half of participants had detectable IgA responses within several weeks after receiving two doses. That trial also showed the vaccine was safe and led to NextGen funding for a larger trial of the vaccine’s efficacy.
It’s possible an inhaled vaccine may provide yet one more layer of protection, called trained innate immunity. This reaction is a bit of a mystery: although immunologists know it exists and appears also to be produced by intramuscular injections, they can’t quite explain how it works. Immune cells associated with trained innate immunity seem to have memorylike responses, reacting quickly against subsequent infections. They also have been found to respond against pathogens entirely unrelated to the intended vaccine target. Smaill and her colleagues found that when they immunized mice with an inhaled tuberculosis vaccine and then challenged them with pneumococcal bacteria, the mice were protected. In children, there is some evidence that a tuberculosis vaccine, in the arm, generates this type of broad response against other diseases.
Akiko Iwasaki, an immunologist at Yale University who is working to develop a nasal vaccination for COVID, sees two major potential benefits to nasal immunity in addition to better, faster, more localized protection. First, attacking the virus in the nose could prevent the disease from being transmitted to others by reducing the amount of virus that people breathe out. And second, Iwasaki says, the spray may limit how deeply the infection moves into the body, so “we believe that it will also prevent long COVID.” That debilitating postinfection condition, sometimes marked by signs of entrenched viral particles, disables people with extreme fatigue, chronic pain, a variety of cognitive difficulties, and other symptoms.
Making a new vaccine is hard, regardless of how you administer it. It needs to raise an immune response that’s strong enough to protect against future invasions but not so strong that the components of that response—such as inflammation and fever—harm the host.
The lining of the nose puts up its own barriers—literal, physical ones. Because the nasal mucosa is exposed to so many irritants from the air, ranging from pet hair to pollen, the nose has multiple lines of defense against invading pathogens. Nostril hair, mucus, and features called cilia that sweep the nasal surface all aim to trap small foreign objects before they can get deeper into the body—and that includes tiny droplets of vaccine.
And lots of small foreign particles—often harmless—still make it through those defenses. So the nose has developed a way to become less reactive to harmless objects. This dampened reactivity is called immunological tolerance, and it may be the biggest hurdle to successful development of a nasal vaccine. When foreign particles show up in the bloodstream, a space that is ostensibly sterile, immune cells immediately recognize them as invaders. But mucosal surfaces are constantly bombarded by both pathogens and harmless materials. The immune system uses tolerance—a complex series of decisions carried out by specialized cells—to determine whether a substance is harmful. “This is very important because we can’t have our lungs or gastrointestinal tract always responding to nonharmful foreign entities that they encounter,” says Yale infectious disease researcher Benjamin Goldman-Israelow. For example, inflammation in the lungs would make it hard to breathe; in the gut, it would prevent the absorption of water and nutrients.
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These barriers may hamper the effectiveness of a nasal flu vaccine that’s been around for a while, called FluMist in the U.S. and Fluenz in Europe. The inoculation is safe, says infectious disease scientist Michael Diamond of Washington University in St. Louis, but it faces a similar problem as do injected flu vaccines: it isn’t very effective at warding off new seasonal flu strains. This might be because flu strains are so common, and people are frequently infected by the time they are adults. Their immune systems are already primed to recognize and destroy familiar flu particles. FluMist is built from a live flu virus, so immune cells probably treat the vaccine as an invader and demolish it as soon as it shows up in the nose, before it has a chance to do any good. This preexisting immunity isn’t such an issue in children, who are less likely to have had multiple flu infections. Nasal flu vaccines are routinely used to inoculate kids in Europe.
In other vaccines, researchers often use adjuvants, special agents that attract the attention of immune cells, to boost a response. Some nasal vaccines use adjuvants to overcome tolerance, but in the nose, adjuvants can pose unique dangers. In at least one case, a nasal adjuvant led to disastrous consequences. An intranasal vaccine for influenza, licensed in Switzerland for the 2000–2001 season, used a toxin isolated from Escherichia coli bacteria as an adjuvant to provoke a reaction to the inactivated virus. No serious side effects were reported during the trial period, but once the vaccine was released, Swiss officials saw a concerning uptick in cases of Bell’s palsy, a disease that causes weakness or paralysis of the facial muscles, often leading to a drooping or disfigured face. Researchers at the University of Zurich estimated that the adjuvanted flu vaccine had increased the risk of contracting Bell’s palsy by about 20 times, and the vaccine was discontinued. “We need to be cautious about using adjuvants like that from known pathogens,” says pharmaceutical formulations scientist Vicky Kett of Queen’s University Belfast in Northern Ireland.
To get around the challenges posed by the nose, some researchers are exploring vaccines inhaled through the mouth. Smaill is working on one of them. She and her McMaster colleagues aerosolized their vaccine for COVID into a fine mist delivered by a nebulizer, from which it rapidly reaches the lungs. Experiments in mice have shown promising results, with mucosal immunity established after administration of the vaccine.
Another vaccine strategy is to use a harmless virus to carry viral genes or proteins. Researchers at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City selected a bird pathogen, Newcastle disease virus (NDV). “It’s naturally a respiratory pathogen,” so it infects nasal cells, says Michael Egan, CEO and chief scientific officer of CastleVax, a company that formed to develop the NDV vaccine for COVID. A small early clinical trial showed the CastleVax vaccine was safe and caused robust immune responses in people. “Those results were very promising,” Egan says. People who received the vaccine also produced antibodies that indicated multitiered mucosal immunity, not simply the adaptive immunity from a shot in the arm.
Following that trial, the CastleVax project received NextGen funding, and results from a trial of 10,000 people are expected in 2026. Half of those people will receive a messenger RNA (mRNA) injection, and half will get the new NDV nasal spray. The data should show whether the new nasal vaccine can do a better job of preventing infection than the mRNA injections. Egan has high hopes. “We’re expecting to see a lot fewer breakthrough infections in people who got the vaccine up the nose by virtue of having those mucosal immune responses,” he says.
Florian Krammer, one of the Mount Sinai researchers behind the vaccine, engineered NDV particles to display a stabilized version of the spike protein that’s so prominent in SARS-CoV-2. “You end up with a particle that’s covered with spike,” he says. Spike protein in the blood­stream can raise an immune response. But the NDV vaccine works in another way, too. The virus particle can also get into cells, where it can replicate enough times to cause virus particles to emerge from the cells, provoking another immune reaction. Before moving into human trials, however, researchers had to complete clinical trials to establish that the Newcastle virus is truly harmless because the nose is close to the central nervous system—it has neurons that connect to the olfactory bulb, which is part of the brain. Those trials confirmed that it is safe for this use.
Nasal sprays aim directly at the spot where most viruses first enter the body: the nose. This type of caution is one reason a COVID nasal vaccine approved in India hasn’t been adopted by the U.S. or other countries. The inoculation, called iNCOVACC, uses a harmless simian adenovirus to carry the spike protein into the airway. The research originated in the laboratories of Diamond and some of his colleagues at Washington University at the start of the pandemic, when they tested the formulation on rodents and nonhuman primates. “The preclinical data were outstanding,” Diamond says. Around the time he and his colleagues published initial animal results in Cell in 2020, Bharat Biotech in India licensed the idea from the university. In a 2023 phase 3 clinical trial in India, the nasal vaccine produced superior systemic immunity compared with a shot.
Diamond says American drug companies didn’t pursue this approach, because “they wanted to use known quantities,” such as the mRNA vaccines, which were already proving themselves in clinical trials in 2020. As the pandemic took hold, there was little appetite to develop nasal vaccine technology to stimulate mucosal immunity while the tried-and-true route of shots in the arm was available and working. But now, four years later, an inhaled vaccine using technology similar to iNCOVACC’s is being developed for approval in the U.S. by biotech company Ocugen. Both inhaled and nasal forms of the vaccine are set to undergo clinical trials as part of Project NextGen. These new vaccines are using classical vaccine methods based on the virus rather than using new, mRNA-based technology. The mRNA preparations were developed specifically for intramuscular injections and would have to be significantly modified.
Codagenix, which is developing CoviLiv, sidestepped the need for a new viral vector or an adjuvant by disabling a live SARS-CoV-2 virus. To make it safe, scientists engineered a version of the virus with 283 mutations, alterations to its genetic code that make it hard for the virus to replicate and harm the body. Without all these genetic changes, there would be a chance the virus could revert to a dangerous, pathogenic form. But with hundreds of key mutations, “statistically, it’s basically impossible that this will revert back to a live virus in the population,” says Johanna Kaufmann, who helped to develop the vaccine before leaving Codagenix for another company earlier this year.
Because most people on the planet have now been exposed to SARS-CoV-2—in the same way they’re regularly exposed to the flu—some nasal vaccines are being designed as boosters for a preexisting immune response that is starting to wane. For example, Yale researchers Iwasaki and Goldman-Israelow are pursuing a strategy in animals deemed “prime and spike.”
The idea is to start with a vaccine injection—the “prime” that stimulates adaptive immunity—then follow it a few weeks later with a nasal puff that “spikes” the system with more viral protein, leading to mucosal immunity. In a study published in 2022 in Science, Iwasaki and her colleagues reported that they primed rodents with the mRNA vaccine developed by Pfizer and BioNTech, the same shot so many of us have received. Two weeks later some of the mice received an intranasal puff of saline containing a fragment of the SARS-CoV-2 spike protein. Because the animals had some preexisting immunity from the shot, the researchers didn’t add any adjuvants to heighten the effects of the nasal puff. Two weeks later researchers detected stronger signs of mucosal immunity in mice that had received this treatment compared with mice that got only the shot.
“Not only can we establish tissue-resident memory T cells” to fight off the virus in the nose, Iwasaki says, but the prime-and-spike method also produces those vigorous IgA antibodies in the mucosal layer. “And that’s much more advantageous because we can prevent the virus from ever infecting the host,” she notes. The study suggests that this approach might also lessen the chances of transmitting the disease to others because of the lower overall viral load. Experiments in hamsters demonstrated that vaccinated animals shed less virus, and they were less likely to contract COVID from infected cage mates that had not been vaccinated themselves.
Although most of the new vaccine strategies are aimed at COVID, nasal vaccines for other diseases are already being planned. Kaufmann, formerly of Codagenix, says the company currently has clinical trials underway for nasal vaccines against flu and RSV. CastleVax’s Egan says “we have plans to address other pathogens” such as RSV and human metapneumovirus, another leading cause of respiratory disease in kids.
Vaccines that don’t need to be injected could clear many barriers to vaccine access worldwide. “We saw with COVID there was no vaccine equity,” Smaill says. Many people in low-income countries never received a shot; they are still going without one four years after the vaccines debuted.
In part, this inequity is a consequence of the high cost of delivering a vaccine that needs to stay frozen on a long journey from manufacturing facilities in wealthy countries. Some of the nasal sprays in development don’t need deep-cold storage, so they might be easier to store and transport. And a nasal spray or an inhaled puff would be much easier to administer than a shot. No health professional is required, so people could spray it into their noses or mouths at home.
For these reasons, needle-free delivery matters to the World Health Organization. The WHO is using the Codagenix nasal spray in its Solidarity Trial Vaccines program to improve vaccine equity. The CoviLiv spray is now in phase 3 clinical trials around the world as part of this effort. “The fact that the WHO was still interested in a primary vaccination trial in the geographies it’s passionate about—that’s indicative that there is still a gap,” Kaufmann says. CoviLiv was co-developed with the Serum Institute of India, the world’s largest maker of vaccines by dose. The partnership enabled production at the high volume required for Solidarity.
The CastleVax vaccine with the NDV vector provides another layer of equity because the facilities required to make it already exist in many low- and middle-income countries. “The cool thing is that NDV is a chicken virus, so it grows very well in embryonated eggs—that’s exactly the system used for making flu vaccines,” Krammer says. For example, for a clinical trial in Thailand, “we just shipped them the seed virus, and then they produced the vaccine and ran the clinical trials,” he says. Many countries around the world have similar facilities, so they will not need to depend on pharma companies based in richer places.
Even high-income countries face barriers to vaccination, although they may be more personal than systemic. For very many people, the needle itself is the problem. Extreme phobia such as Velasquez’s is uncommon, but many people have a general fear of needles that makes vaccinations stressful or even impossible for them. For about one in 10 people needle-related fear or pain is a barrier to vaccinations, says C. Meghan McMurtry, a psychologist at the University of Guelph in Ontario. Needle fear “is present in most young kids and in about half of adolescents. And 20 to 30 percent of adults have some level of fear.” A review of studies of children showed that “concern around pain and needle fear are barriers to vaccination in about 8 percent of the general population and about 18 percent in the vaccine-hesitant population,” McMurtry adds.
Some people are wary of injected vaccines even if they’re not afraid of needles, Kett says; they see injections as too invasive even if the needle doesn’t bother them. “We’re hopeful that something administered by the nasal route would be less likely to come across some of those issues,” Kett says.
In the U.S., however, sprays and puffs won’t be available until they are approved by the Food and Drug Administration, which requires clear evidence of disease protection. As Diamond points out, standards for such evidence are well established for injections, and vaccine makers can follow the rule book: regulations point to particular antibodies and specific ways to measure them with a simple blood test. But for nasal vaccines, Iwasaki says, “we don’t have a standard way to collect nasal mucus or measure antibody titers. All these practical issues have not been worked out.”
Iwasaki is also frustrated with a restriction by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that stops researchers from using existing COVID vaccines in basic research to develop new nasal sprays. The rule is a holdover from 2020, when COVID injections had just been developed and were in short supply; people had to wait to get vaccinated until they were eligible based on factors such as age and preexisting conditions. “That made sense back then, but those concerns are years old; things are different now,” Iwasaki says. “Now we have excess vaccine being thrown out, and we cannot even get access to the waste, the expired vaccine.”
Today scientists want to contrast the effectiveness of nasal formulations with injections already in use. “Those comparisons are really important for convincing the FDA that this is a worthy vaccine to pursue,” Iwasaki says. But the restriction has held up studies by her company, Xanadu, slowing down work. (The CDC did not respond to a request for comment.)
Despite the bureaucratic and scientific hurdles, the sheer number of nasal vaccines now in clinical trials encourages Iwasaki and other scientists pursuing the needle-free route. They say it seems like only a matter of time before getting vaccinated will be as simple as a spritz up the nose.
Velasquez, for one, can’t wait for that day to arrive. The circumstances that finally forced her to reckon with her fear of needles (a global pandemic, the prospect of parenthood and the numerous blood tests that accompanied her pregnancy) were so much bigger than her. If not for them, she might still be avoiding shots. “So having vaccines without needles—I would get every vaccine any doctor wanted me to get, ever. It would be a complete game changer for me.”
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just-your-average-cryptid · 23 days ago
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i'm not even in this conversation but it's pissing me off so hi. transmasc enby here to explain what some of y'all are missing about the term
transandro/phobia
see that? see what i did there?
it's not trans/androphobia, it's transandro/phobia
it's not "bigotry against men: trans edition," it's "bigotry against trans men/mascs specifically"
"but androphobia isn't real!!" yeah we know. "just use transmisogyny or transphobia!!" those don't describe bigotry against transmasculinity - transphobia is broad and transmisogyny is directed towards bigotry against transfemininity.
like transmisogyny, it's about the intersection; not just bigotry against women or just bigotry against trans people, but a combination of both.
it's about bigotry that targets and affects transmasculinity - bigotry centered on that intersection.
"but men aren't targeted by bigotry!!" cis men aren't. if you think every trans man 100% passes and is instantly accepted as a man by general society... you're just wrong ok this shouldn't be shocking. breaking news transphobes are transphobic to all trans people.
"but why does it have to be -androphobia?!" well, trans/phobia and trans/misogyny have a specific structure, and since there is no established term for bigotry against men bc there isn't bigotry against men outside of failing at patriarchal norms (which is just misogyny again,) "transandro" or transmasculinity + "phobia" or bigotry against gives you... transandro/phobia.
"but why do you even need a term for yourselves?!" ...because transphobes target and attack transmaculinity differently than transfemininity? did y'all forget about "Irreversible Damage?" about "poor confused girls pressured to become boys?" about "wow she's so ugly after taking HRT, should've stayed a nice pretty girl and kept her mouth shut, those evil trans people manipulating our daughters into mutilating themselves, they're just trying to escape misogyny, they're just trying to cheat their way out and leave us behind, they're never going to accept you, you'll always be a girl, you'll always be miserable so just accept it already."
yeah. transmascs have our own issues, same way transfems have their own issues compared to the trans community at large. its... not radical to say that we're affected differently and we want the language to talk about it.
stop eating your own and focus on the actual problem: the people who want to legislate us out of existence, and if that's too slow, with bullets instead of bathroom bills.
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autumn-foxfire · 1 year ago
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I love the idea of Shinichi developing claustrophobia but not realising. One of the most terrifying times in his life was when Gin was opening those lockers and almost discovered him but Shinichi doesn't realise how affected he was by that until he ends up in a small space again.
Imagine the opening scene of Fist of Blue Sapphire, where instead of just the normal panic of waking up in a small space with no idea how you ended up in this situation, Shinichi ends up having a full blown panic attack. He's taken back to the time in the lockers, struggling to breathe and consumed with fear and then his heart drops even more when he sees the light from whatever he's stuffed inside opening.
He doesn't realise he's shaking and crying until his own face is staring back at him in alarm. He doesn't know how to react, the light of the sun is too bright and hurting his eyes, his ears are ringing and his chest feels so tight that he's still struggling to breathe.
Kaito recognizing the symptoms of a phobia immediately (how many times has he had to calm himself when people treat his own like a joke to mess with him). He drags the suitcase to the trees where no one can see and lets Shinichi calm himself down at his own pace and gather his barings away from prying eyes. He does some simple and easy card tricks for Shinichi's benefit, in hope of providing a distraction as his brain registers his need to panic is gone.
As Shinichi comes round, he's just so confused. Why was KID here? Why was he in a suitcase? Why did he panic like that?
Kaito explains the first two before tentively approaching the topic of the last one. He apologises to Shinichi for putting him that situation and that if he had been aware of his phobia, he would have done it differently.
Shinichi is struck by the word phobia. He never wanted to put a name to the feeling of unease and even fear he would feel whenever he had to crawl into a small gap after that fateful encounter but now another had noticed, had watched him lose himself to the consuming panic and he thinks it's time to do so.
Kaito listens intently as Shinichi explained when it started, how he had been trapped in a locker with the only thing between him and certain death had been a flimsy sheet of metal and a man who had been insane enough to check the small lockers for his enemy, only to stop at the last moment, just shy of finding them, when he realises that no adult could be inside one.
Shinich says something changed that night, he just never wanted to admit it.
And Kaito understood, as has been in the same situation as Shinichi, where he had felt that panic that makes you feel your lungs are no longer working and you're about to die but forced himself to endure it, forced the panic down because no one else understood.
He tells Shinichi as such, hints that he has one too, though he was not quite ready to share what it was (everyone else who knew used it against him after all) but he got the feeling Shinichi felt all the same.
Kaito apologises again for putting Shinichi in that situation but Shinichi just dismisses it and demands Kaito to tell him more about the case.
(When it comes time to return home, Kaito makes sure that when he's off the plane and has his luggage, he opens it up so Shinichi doesn't feel as trapped this time around)
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cairavende · 3 months ago
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Worm Arc 23 thoughts:
So much happened in so few chapters, how do I even break this down?!?
First off, Colin had better stop fucking bonding with my daughter! And apologizing and making amends for past wrongs! I'm a huge fan of redemption arcs and second chances and that is being used against me! JUST LET ME HATE THIS MAN!!!!!!
My bug daughter is in prison but that's almost like, a minor side thing? It barely matters right now except that it gives some background structure. Compared to everything else the prison bit is just . . . a thing.
I'm in tears over bug horse. I'm bawling. I may never recover. RIP Atlas, you were the best of us.
TAYLOR GOES TO THERAPY!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED!!!!!!
I love Jessica so much! She does such a good job. I want to bake her cookies as thanks but I'm not sure if that would trigger some type of conflict of interest.
Fucking Glenn. I want to hate him and love him all at the same time.
Is he an artist? Absolutely! He has a vision and it is beautiful.
But also if it comes down to "letting the world end or compromising said vision" he might be the kind of person who would watch the world burn with a tear running down his cheek, because at least it was beautiful.
Look I get it. My daughter is terrifying. But that isn't because bugs are scary. It's cause my daughter is terrifying. Making her use butterflies just means a bunch of people are gonna start having butterfly phobias.
Like come on, Clockblocker gets to break fundamental forces of the universe and cause people to question their very existence!
Do not try to tell me that someone getting time frozen and just . . . skipping a chunk of time because their mind is not part of the time stream for a few minutes would not provoke some deep thoughts of existential dread! Sure not in everyone, but not everyone is scared of bugs either! I just think it's very unfair.
The Adepts are fun. Sure powers aren't "magic" but might as well have fun with the idea! Besides it seems to be working and if I had powers I'd absolutely love to lean into a magical focus idea.
I am quite upset about the fact that during the whole Thirteenth Hour thing Weaver didn't get to shove bugs down Clockblocker's throat to save him. It would have been so poetic. Saving the day by shoving bugs down throats was still super amazing, I just wanted it to be Clockblocker.
It was the most extreme level of active awareness and minor "control" while being disabled that we've seen from Taylor so far though! Really curious to get more into that, the nature of passengers/shards, and all those things. I have so many thoughts, but they're all just speculation right now (I don't think writing 75 pages of theories that all end up being wrong is really gonna be very helpful).
“If anyone asks, you kicked their asses with butterflies.” Clockblocker gets it!
It was really cool to get more into different vibes of the world with the Vegas section! I love me some thinkers and strangers.
I'm very glad The Number Man used a sniper rifle. I would have been a little disappointed if he didn't after getting into his head in his interlude - it is just the perfect weapon for him. Motherfucker over here just bouncing bullets.
Finally got to see more Bambina after the little bit in arc 8. Her power is wild, I love it! Also Bambina's mom just shot right into the top contenders for "worst parent in Worm". Like, WTF lady.
August Prince is wild. Sucks when the most effective use of your power is "human shield" though.
Considering she had an interaction with The Number Man and Contessa, Taylor actually came out of it pretty good! Sure they lost the target they were trying to bring in, but I don't know that they really had a chance of keeping Pretender. Contessa isn't easy to stop.
The only problem I have with the Las Vegas Wards actions is hiring Bambina to break Pretender free. Otherwise ya, fucking ditch the Protectorate. Given the information they have it makes sense.
TAYLOR HAS FAN MAIL!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Grue's letter was way to heartfelt. Tattletale clearly wrote most of it.
Like come on: "I could hit you, hug you, yell at you and hold onto you for hours all at the same time. It’s fitting that I want to kiss you and throttle you at the same time because that’s what you were to me for a long time. You drive me crazy and I can never understand what’s going through your head." This is totally Tattletale! She couldn't flirt with Taylor in her own letter, she had to be sneaky about it!
"You’re an idiot. I want you to know that. You’re an idiot, Skitter. You’re brilliant and reckless and I’m betting it makes sense to you to do this but you’re an idiot." - also Tattletale.
LOOK I'M GONNA MAKE THIS SHIT GAY AND THERE ISN'T ANYTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!!!!!!!
Imp's letter might be my favorite.
Tattletale's actual letter ends with "See you there, hun?" Just. So fucking gay. Sorry I don't make the rules.
Speaking of gay, Rachel's letter!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wolfspider wolfspider wolfspider!
Like I mean come on
"Being around you wasn’t simple or quiet but things made more sense.  Your minion with dark hair said we need to be around people but I’m around people and still feel somethings missing." GAY
"Going to take puppies to your place again soon. Show the kids to them. Might help." SO GAY
"You have plan, okay. But if your plan means you’re thinking about fighting us you should know I am getting very good at hunting and skinning things." HOLY SHIT IT'S THE MOST LESBIAN THING EVER
"We both stay alive. Try hard." TOP-TIER GAY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!
GGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY
AND THE SCENE WITH THE CHILDREN!!! AND THE BUTTERFLIES! AND THE DICE!!!!!!!!!!!
dies of joy
Seriously, 23.4 is the most beautiful chapter in Worm so far and it'll be very hard for it to be outdone.
I could talk about just that chapter for pages. It was perfect in every way. Even if I knew it had to end with Behemoth pretty early on. There was too much hope in that chapter for it to end any other way.
But in the middle of all that downward "oh fuck it's Behemoth" stuff we got an Undersiders reunion! With so much gay!
Like - “But you guys mean a lot to me.  I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, but I couldn’t without letting on that something was going on.  You’re my family, in a way.  As lame as it might be, I love you guys.” My head turned from Grue to Rachel to Tattletale as I said it.
SO FUCKING GAY
She starts at Grue sure but ends with Rachel and Lisa when saying "I love you". Certified gay.
So gay that even Imp agrees! Though I've been doing the long drawn out “Gaaaaaaayyyyyyy” since like arc 2. So Imp is a bit behind the curve here.
TAYLOR WANTS TO GO ON A DOG PARK DATE WITH RACHEL! IT'S THE MOST LESBIAN DATE POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
Weaver's new flight suit is pretty neat. Dragon is a pretty good big sister.
Cody Interlude thoughts:
THIS motherfucker! I was waiting for him to show up again.
I am so mad. I'm so fucking mad.
Cody is the worst. He's pathetic and dumb.
And Accord just has to go and get killed by him in the dumbest way! GOD DAMMIT ACCORD I SIMPED FOR YOU SO HARD!!! AND THEN YOU DIE TO CODY! OF ALL PEOPLE! YOU CAN'T BE COOL IF YOU DIE TO CODY!
Chevy too! I thought he was cool and all, but he had to die to Cody. God. The worst.
ALSO MY BABY GIRL HE TRIED TO HURT MY BABY! THE ONE WHO ISN'T MY DAUGHTER!
SOMEBODY HELP TATTLETALE!
I did like seeing more of the mechanics of the Yàngbǎn after getting hints about how they work in the Lung interlude.
The power sharing plus the power amplification is a pretty broken combo tbh. Feels like there is some pretty neat stuff that could be accomplished with that.
Fuck this man though. Simmy just had to whisper to him and just dove right in. Cody can't even conceptualize what fighting back means, that would require him to grow as a person in literally any way.
Sucks for the Behemoth fight though. I guess my daughters are going to have to save the day. Again.
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ohmotherwhereartthou-if · 4 months ago
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Hello,I have been lurking here for some time,reading all the asks and getting all blushy because of Tomas and Aurelio,they are such sweethearts and im so excited to meet them but no rush of course take you time !
I just wanted to say how much I appreciate and love your writing and story.
I appreciate how the gender of the MC is going to change some things. I mean, your gender changes your entire life experience, you're treated differently so I love when authors include some text flavors depending on the gender of the MC.
I also love the thought of including phobias and traits that will help define the MC as a person and give them some personality,additionally affecting how ppl(including our sweethearts(ROs)) react to us So I'm really excited of how the ROs would react to each,different dynamic between them and the MC But still I hope all these different variables don't overwhelm you.
To Conclude :I love your work and your characters and am excited to see more but don't forget to look after yourself as well.
Plus,I saw the art of Tomas and I'm in LOVE to say the least. It got me more hooked than I already am.
Hello!
Sorry for the late response but thank you so much for your kind words! I am so glad you are liking the story so far and appreciate all the flavor text options! Including them all definitely slows down the amount of story I can finish in one sitting but I adore flavor text and I feel as if they make the story much more immersive and worth replaying!
Even though every time I write about physical touch I have to stop and bang my head against my computer because of the physical touch phobia lol. Wouldn't change a thing though!
I cannot wait to start writing the RO's scenes, I just know it's sadly going to be a while as I set up the premise of the story. Hopefully the RO asks help scratch that itch in the meantime!
I am also so very happy people are loving my boys Tomás and Aurelio! I kinda figured Aurelio would have a few fans but Tomás being as popular as he is completely caught me off guard tbh. Not that I am complaining! He is the RO I would probably romance if I was in the game lol, so I can't blame any of you for wanting him.
@lottie-for-short's Art is just, dskhfiewhfiqeljhfliuwe 👩🏽‍🍳😘🤌🏼✨
I absolutely love how she drew all of my characters, she made my baby Tomás look so very pouty I love it!!! Lottie fr made Aurelio much more handsome than I could of even imagined! And from that first fanart I knew I HAD to try and commission her for the rest of my characters. And luckily for us she said yes! 💙
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ventbloglite · 9 months ago
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Some of you really need to step back a little bit and acknowledge how ignorant you are towards how misogyny affects trans mascs and how you yourself may be perpetrating said misogyny when speaking ill of trans mascs.
Which is not something you should be doing at all, fyi. You can talk about individual shitty trans mascs and certain community issues you dislike which involve or are perpetrated by trans mascs without just being transphobic towards trans mascs in general.
So many times I've seen the sentient of 'AFAB's have it really easy, everyone accepts AFAB's as trans, everyone loves AFAB trans people, the world caters to you, there is basically no problems for you if you're AFAB unlike AMAB folk' shown in a variety of ways from a variety of people including just outright saying it. Not to mention the belitting of trans masc experiences with transphobia and misogyny + the way those interact because they identify as men even though transphobes still consider them to be women and don't give a shit about their actual gender.
A main crux of transphobia (though many other factors which result in hating us come into play, too many to go into now) is that trans people are seen as and treated as their AGAB and punished for not identifying as it or portraying it 'correctly' by society. So tell me why so many seem to 'forget' about how misogyny impacts trans masculine people. Could it be because you believe that advocating for trans women and trans femmes and fighting transmisogyny somehow must involve being transphobic towards trans men due to that radfem influence you've absorbed? The world will never reach gender equality of any kind if everything is 'men versus women' so can we just fucking not bring that into trans spaces please.
Examples!
I saw recently a post which perfectly pointed out the potential risks associated with someone considered 'male' growing out her hair but OP clearly knew absolutely nothing about the same risks associated with someone deemed 'female' cutting his hair. Instead of not making that post or doing some research, OP thus assumed there weren't really any risks likely due to already believing that AFAB trans people have it easy.
The ignorance! Misogyny heavily impacts the way hair is treated on those perceived as women (including body hair) and women/those perceived as women have no end of people policing what they can and can't do with their bodies often taking things to the absolute extreme to do so. Short hair on woman may seem 'more accepted' but AFAB people of any gender could quickly tell you multiple situations where it's not and results in the same violence, abuse, homo(lesbo/butch)phobia and yes possibly even death depending on the situation even if you still identify as a woman. Pretending this doesn't happen is straight up misogyny btw.
'AFAB's pass easily by doing basically nothing' is another frequent one which makes me laugh. 'Passing' for most trans people is so situational and so dependent on what you do or don't do to strictly conform to gender stereotypes if you're even able to do that at all. To suggest that the world ignores feminine gender markers the moment someone's hair is short and their chest appears mostly flat ignores both the complexity of how humans perceive gender and how misogyny comes into play whenever a woman/perceived woman shows any masculinity let alone maleness. Considering the same misogyny comes into play frequently against trans women you'd think it'd be easy to remember.
This general sentiment of 'Being born with a vagina means your life is easy and everything you do will be loved and supported because society adores you. You don't and will never have any real problems, not like anyone born with a penis.' isn't magically okay and absolutely super different to when misogynists say it about cis women because you're using AGAB language and cite 'because you're men and blah blah patriarchy' as the actual reason you're saying it. It's very clearly same shit different coat of paint. The pool is there, your toes are in, stop preparing to dive for Gods sake.
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x0x0josephinex0x0 · 1 year ago
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more seokmin comfort fics.. i read ‘sleepless’ and its so perfect i swear 😭
YOU MADE MY WHOLE DAYYYYYYY omg. Ran to write this for you, its a bit comfort, a tiiiiiny bit spicy, hope u like it!! please ask for more if you want!
Pillow Talk
genre: fluff with an implied spicy ending?? is there a word for that?? i'm new here lmao, comfort, established relationship
warning: implied mature behavior near the end, brief mention of a phobia of doctors and surgery, brief mention of blood, spooky beginning
words: 1.2k
The scrape of claws dragging slowly against tile floors is the only sound. You are trapped on an operating table, your arms and legs strapped down to prevent any protection from whoever — or whatever — was making its deliberate, terrifying way across the blood-spattered floor toward you. Steely-cold fingers slide up the back of your skull, and you scream yourself awake.
You’re shaking, safe in your bed, Seokmin beside you as he always is. But his hand is on your arm now, and he’s blinking at you sleepily. “What’s wrong, baby?” he asks, propping himself up on one arm and using his other hand to brush your hair softly from your face.
You lean into his touch, the warmth of his fingertips dispelling some of the chill in your soul from the dream. “Bad dream,” you say, trying to take a deep breath, still trembling. “Really bad dream.”
You know where this dream came from, too. In just a few days, you’ll have a surgery to correct a ten-year-old gymnastics injury. It’s a procedure that will vastly improve your quality of life, has very few risks, and has one of the easiest recovery processes in modern surgery, but you are petrified of doctor’s offices -- the sterile chemical scent, the people with faces mostly covered by masks peering at you from strange mechanical glasses, the powdery feel of latex gloves against your skin. And if doctor’s offices were frightening, it was nothing to the fear you had of surgery, which was just all of those things combined with a drug that made it impossible for you to fight back and the menacing glint of metal in a dim overhead light.
His brow furrows as he looks down at you. “Really? Do you want to talk about it?”
You give him a slow smile. “Why? So you can scare yourself into not sleeping for the rest of the night?”
He smiles at your teasing. “Fair enough,” he says, knowing he is a bit of a scaredy-cat. “Why did you have a nightmare, though? What were you thinking about when you went to bed?”
You sigh. “The surgery, I think.”
He nods in understanding. “I guessed it might be that. Do you want to tell me what you’re worried about?”
You give a humorless laugh. “Oh, just getting kidnapped, dissected, and sold on the black market. Or waking up with my brain in a different body. Or them accidentally operating on the wrong leg.”
Seokmin chuckles, but not in a dismissive way, and the mood immediately lightens. To say these things out loud is so ridiculous that it almost erases your fear, and you find yourself finally able to take that deep breath.
This isn’t lost on Seokmin, who is still watching you carefully. “Do you feel better after talking about it?” he asks.
You assess. Still a little shaky, still a bit panicky, but he’s looking at you with those adorably worried eyes ... it all kind of balances out. Plus, the way he’s leaning over you right now, and the way his biceps are handling his weight, and the tightness of his white t-shirt against his muscular chest...
You find yourself blushing instead of replying as you take in the sight of him, and Seokmin smiles at your expression. “You just thought of something that’s making you bashful,” he realizes, his eyes suddenly mischievous. “Tell me what’s going on in your brain.”
You avoid his gaze. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you claim, deciding to tease rather than be forthright -- you’re in the mood for a bit of a game. 
His expression turns dubious. “Really? No thoughts, head empty?” he asks, clearly in disbelief.
You nod solemnly. “Nothing but the wind whistling through my skull cavity,” you say in a spooky voice.
He chuckles. “You’re cute when you’re trying to be all weird and creepy.”
“And you’re cute all the time,” you admit, knowing Seokmin eats that kind of thing up.
True to form, his eyes light up at your words. “Go on,” he says, laying back down beside you and pulling you into his chest. “Was that what you were actually thinking about while you were lying through your teeth about not thinking about anything?”
“It was...a little different,” you admit, grateful he’s hiding your face so he isn’t able to see you blush even deeper.
He doesn’t catch the hesitation in your voice, but he does start rubbing a soothing hand up and down your back, brushing away any tension there. You melt into his chest, and his arms tighten around you. “Well, if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine,” he says quietly, his voice gentle and sweet in the darkness. “But what a gift this is for me, to get to be here to hold you through the nightmares.”
You pull back to look at him. “Really?” you ask.
“Of course!” he exclaims. “I love that I can ease your mind in this way.” He pulls you back in and kisses your forehead several times in rhythm. 
You are extremely aware of another notable way that Seokmin eases your mind, especially when he’s holding you like this. Seemingly subconsciously, Seokmin’s hand slips under the back of your shirt, and your body erupts into chills as his warm fingers begin to trace soft patterns on your skin. You try to resist the urge to sit up and rip the clothes off both of you, reminding yourself to be patient -- you knew he’d never say no to you if you asked, but the longer he made you wait, the more delicious it was afterward. So you settle for a soft sigh against his chest. “Still, I’m sorry for waking you.”
He kisses your cheek this time, and you try not to tense up, knowing that will give away what you want, and then it’ll all be over. But it’s hard not to notice how Seokmin is inching his way down your body, seemingly innocently enough, but in a way that makes you wonder if you’re not the only one playing a game. Perhaps what this is is a game of chicken. Whoever gives in first loses. You decided to make your own subtle move, sliding your fingernails over the backside of his arm. “Nonsense,” he says, looking at you with a smile. “I wasn’t that tired.”
“How tired are you now?” you ask him, keeping a neutral tone, although you know your eyes are burning into his.
He adjusts his position so that he’s leaning over you again. This could just be so he can look at you -- but then again, as his hands glide down your side and over your hips, it could also be not that. “I’m wide awake, baby,” he says, and there it is -- an invitation.
“Hmm...in that case...would you like to know what I was thinking about when I was lying through my teeth?”
“Do go on,” he encourages, his eyes bright as he slowly slides in between your legs, burying his face in your neck and leaving a trail of kisses from your ear to your collarbone. “You might need to be quick about it, though. I don't know how much longer I can wait.”
You laugh. “Oh, it seems like you’ve already got the gist of it,” you tell him. “It’s almost like you read my mind.”
He brings his lips down on yours -- gently, but deeply and slowly and in a way that makes your heart pick up its pace, beating frantically against your sweatshirt. Then he pulls back just enough to look you in the eyes and whisper, “it’s your turn, honey. Read my mind.”
You have to laugh -- because when he gets like this, his mind is an open book, the easiest book in the world to read. In response, you just grab the collar of that absolutely sinful white t-shirt, pulling him into another kiss, and let Seokmin sweep you away into his fantasy.
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acorpsecalledcorva · 1 year ago
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*Maladaptive Daydreaming is the disordered form of Immersive Daydreaming/Dissociative Absorption (which I believe is the foundation of endogenic plurality experiences), therefore would only really apply to "disordered plurals" that don't have a CDD, similarly not all pwMD would identify as plural the same as most pwCDDs don't use that label
*"Plural Dissociative Disorder" is used here as the best phrase I can come up with to communicate disorders that involve systems of parts/alters/headmates as it wouldn't be a CDD. Although I recognise many do not like this term, everyone hopefully understands what I mean by it
This is the best summary I can find that I feel argues for why it should be included as such:
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Arguments against: As a concept it may err ever so slightly too closely to the fantasy model of DID or give credibility to many aspects that the community has worked very hard to move away from.
Overlap: Early reports put comorbidity of MD and DID at only 12.8% but more recent reports have it at more like 40-50%. Prevalence of MD, that is the disordered utilisation of immersive daydreaming/dissociative absorption as a form of escapism, increases dramatically during periods of global unrest, the COVID 19 pandemic saw a marked increase in communities seemingly built around utilising Immersive Daydreaming/Dissociative Absorption such as the reality shifting communities which used guides very very similar to switching and imposition guides shared by the Willo/paragenic communities
Possible explanation for rift in community: many people simply do not have the ability to immersive daydream, and it would seem that the majority of DID research and literature has been written about and focuses on pwDID that don't have this innate ability. A lack of inner world and phobia of the inner experience such as no knowledge and access to parts are commonly described in literature but are at odds with the majority of online presentations of CDDs. It may be that more CDD systems are utilising an immersive daydreaming capability in a more (mostly)positive way thanks to community sharing of experiences, while those who do not have this ability are left dumbfounded by how much the online community doesn't match their experience. Similarly, those with CDDs who can and do utilise this ability would find more shared experiences with the wider plural community including identifying as mixedorigin because immersive daydreaming would be an ability that predates trauma development of a CDD or becoming disordered due to later trauma
Personal experience: I have both DID parts/alters and Immersive Daydreaming headmates. I find this a very useful framework to understand my experience as it allows me to differentiate the needs of both and ensure that one doesn't negatively impact the other. I also believe it's very important to differentiate between them in form and function, while not viewing one as more valid than the other. Treating all ID headmates as alters can quickly become overwhelming if healing is a goal while treating alters as ID headmates can be very damaging and make them feel like they're being exposed and need to retreat further or have protectors and persecutors lash out. I don't think it's wrong to acknowledge that right now there are pwCDDs who mistakenly believe they're endogenic plurals and disordered plurals that mistakenly believe they have CDDs (and potentially therapists misdiagnosing as well).
Psychs: Nijenhuis, Ross, Dell, and Somer all seem to be dancing around this issue from slightly different angles right now, Nijenhuis trying to differentiate purely trauma based pathological dissociative experiences, while Ross has explored a proneness to dissociation, Dell has explored a proneness to hypnotisability, and Somer first identified maladaptive daydreaming whilst also being one of the key researchers into trauma and dissociation over the last few decades. Outside of these there are many psychs that have noticed a marked shift in presentations of patients that supposedly have CDDs resulting in increased research into things like Imitative DID and Malingering/factitious disorder as it relates to DID. Identifying immersive daydreaming as a contributing factor to this change in presentation may help reduce the number of false negatives AND false positives.
I can also very much understand why some might find the particular language of "daydreaming" and "character" to be invalidating towards their headmates, there are cultural connotations to those words. This may largely be due to the research being done into non plural patients but that is clearly changing. There certainly seems to be acknowledgement of the autonomy that can be found when analysing MD through a plural lens though so this language may certainly change as endogenic plurality is brought into the literature more.
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