#idk if it’s one of the easier ones or not but the few before it took me at least 4-5 attempts so i am rather amused
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didderd · 11 months ago
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guh i'm alive sorry i've been inactive for over a month. i don't really have an excuse. just that i haven't been feeling up to posting, and i've been distracted. i will try to get back to things, but no promises.
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liuisi · 17 days ago
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every day me and my friends singlehandedly try to keep the kids in this church from getting more whitewashed
#julia.txt#shakes them. you will think back on this and you will think back on the opportunities you had when you are older#and you will regret and you will think tk yourself why did i not make it easier on myself when i was still young#i KNOW its hard and i KNOW its not intuitive and i KNOW it feels pointless but you have to TRY#you have to try and you have to stick to it or else you will regret it so deeply#hold on to what you have !!! before you lose it !!!!#idk at what point is it a lost cause and you just have to give in and realize that we cant preserve everything#but i dont want to give up !! i dont care if their freeking parenrs have given up i dont care if the entire church has given up on it#i will give them what i can!! i will try to !!!#augh. punches a wall. idk i cant force them but also i WAS them i UNDERSTAND .#and i know where i am at now and what i regret#it does make me want to cry sometimes because we try so HARD#i spend so much time translating and they dont. care.#and i dont begrudge them that obvs theyre kids. like its not that deep#but it's more of like. idk are our efforts really worth anything?#i think in the end it simply comes down to me not wanting things to change#and they WILL. i know they will. but i dont WANT them to#i just. i cant spend the entirety of my life up until a few years ago in this church where everything was in arabic and then.#i UNDERSTAND that things have to change at some point because its not fair to the kids to have them attend meetings they dont understand#and thats NOT THEIR FAULT. they just. didnt have the encadrement my generation had#but it makes me SAD okay it makes me sad to think that one day we wont be using the arabic hymn book anymore#i just. i dont know. i dont know. its almost 4 am i should sleep
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sinnettini · 22 days ago
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successfully worried my mum as well despite trying not to. lmao. lmfao even
#day keeps getting worse somehow#someone make it fast forward a few hours so i can just sleep#how do you convince your mum you're not going to attempt suicide again when you've promised that before and broke the promise#asking for myself bc i really am not going to attempt suicide but i AM doing badly and she can tell and i accidentally worried her even mor#and i understand why she'd be worried. like knowing myself and how i let myself suffer by myself hiding it from her#i get it. i'd be worried too. but like what can i do to convince her even if things are bad i'm not going to do anything like that#and i'll see her soon and i have a bandaid on my hand which won't help bc if she asks even if i lie to her i won't be able to do it#convincingly bc i'm a good liar but not that good when i know she's already on alert#you know maybe if i hadn't attempted suicide a number of times you can't count on only one one it would be easier to be like don't worry#and be convincing#my mum knows “that voice” i get when i'm extremely down actually even at work people immediately noticed#which on one hand like... i don't take for granted that people care about me this much. it is a good thing#on the other it's fucking hard to deal with the worry from others when they can't do anything to help you and you don't know what to tell#them beside don't worry which is the stupidest thing to say to someone who can tell you're not okay#like i would worry! and i would be right to. but. but idk. family doesn't usually help in these times#i'm sorry to say that bc i love my family but sadly it's the truth. being in my old bed just conjures up more bad memories and shit and the#i not only feel bad but feel like i'm somehow in some way 17 again. it's awful#so being alone isn't good but being here isn't either so what the fuck do i do. i don't feel okay anywhere. i don't feel safe anywhere#oh my god i'm sorry i'm being soooooooooo fucking depressing#you can hate really i'm like always so negative lol sorry#i'll shut up now bc i'm close to crying and my mum will be here soon and if she sees me crying no way she's letting me go#suicide tw#sorry was forgetting the tw
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neverendingford · 2 months ago
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#was gonna pierce my lip but I realized I lost all the caps to my barbell piercings and I didn't even realize. I'm so fuckin mad#now I have to get more#idk if I can just get the screw on heads. idk what mm size they are#anyway. bone broth is successful. it's been slow cooking all day and looks and smells good. it's gonna make for hella nutritious soup base.#also I've been hunting down Spanish vocab audio because that's how I learn best.#listening to more language transfer and adding music to my Spanish playlist.#still definitely not conversational but my comprehension is going up quite a bit.#I had a grumpy Russian man come through my lane today and the desire to communicate better was so strong.#I just wanna learn all the languages.#I just need to find more resources that work for my brain.#I have a Spanish vocab book and I hardly touch it. duolingo sucks for me. I hate Rosetta Stone.#but there's resources out on the internet I just have to find them and use them.#there's a few good ones on Spotify I've found. as much as I hate Spotify conceptually for music artists it's still a resource I can use.#as much as I don't wanna apply for new jobs I don't wanna work in the same place next year when we move.#I still really wanna try food service. my speech has gotten way better and my stutter is almost never present#so job interviews should be way easier to pull off. I hope. I really hope.#I really wanna get back into nursing but idk if we're moving early enough for me to get into a cna certification class for spring semester.#I really should email the local community college and find out if I can pull off a late start or jump into a class already partway through.#I could look that up right now actually. find out when classes start there and how much I would be missing.#because I've passed the certification before it shouldn't be hard to jump in partway through I think.#hah. I'm so competent. I just looked up the information right now. there's an adult education center where I'm moving that offers the course#but not until halfway through spring.#so I could work food service for the spring and then switch to cna after.#I'm medicated so it's entirely possible and feasible. I have the ability.#hmmm. if I'm going into nursing maybe I should reconsider the lip piercing? hmmmm.#I can just let it heal over if it's an issue.#plenty of time between now and then.#anyway I'm going to bed good night.#well. maybe going to bed.
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byanyan · 3 months ago
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so anyway, thanks for reading my little dissertations on byan's gender. sorry for not writing again today, i'm just. i'm fuckin goin through it rn man
#'it' being... *gestures vaguely*#i stumbled across this series of yt shorts yesterday (all by the same creator) that really fuckin resonated with me#and i mean that in the most serious way like. it spoke to me. never have i related to someone talking about their experiences more.#talking about their life growing up undiagnosed autistic & adhd... being in treatment for anxiety & depression for decades...#i can't really explain it but good god it's most exactly my same experience and i just. i have never felt that before.#it was so... idk. it sounds so dramatic bc it's literally a comedy short but holy shit#they verbalized things that I haven't been able to and#fuck. I felt seen and I felt like I wasn't alone in this miserable weird non-functioning barely even a human place I'm in rn#and just. idk. I'm still kinda processing some of it.#once again I am thinking back over my life and realizing things and it's. heavy. and tiring.#but like. in an ultimately positive way bc it's gonna help me change things & get to a better place.#I'm rambling IGNORE ME writing it out helps me process ig and for whatever reason posting on my dumb writing blog is easier than journaling#just. once again thank u all sfm for ur patience with me. it means SO much to me. genuinely.#you have no idea how much and I can't put it into words but. slow as I am... writing here with all of you is one of the few reasons#that I'm still kicking. and I'm just. so very grateful to every last one of you.#ok I'm gonna shut up before I get even more sappy and emotional lmfajdkgksg#love you guys. hope you're taking care of yourselves. 💜💜💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.#personal cw
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watery-melon-baller · 8 months ago
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once again i am frustrated because i cannot understand this when it is not at all that difficult I wanna understand it so bad please please please
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harrylights · 4 months ago
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guinevereslancelot · 10 months ago
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planted all my plants for spring ☺️
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arklay · 2 years ago
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WIP DAY.
tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡
tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡
i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.
started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]
it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo
never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.
everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk
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i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe
actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not
Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more. He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.
#tag games.#keep going to do picrews and just zoning out 😭 i'm so behind on literally everything but it's fine it's okay (lying)#i'm having a day and a half even though i woke up feeling okay but oh well. my last month has just been like watching videos during the day#or playing games when i have a bit more energy but like i can't do anything that requires me to actually read or write things like words#are just not computing in my brain at the moment but it's okay like i'm just exhausted and hoping soon i can get back to writing because i#still have over 30 wips going lmao but yeah it's been a time a half with lots of appointments and seeing specialists again and trying to#sort things out. i've been more active on twitter which i've mentioned before but it's just because like it's easier for me to sort of just#like and rt things and not having to do my organisation tags and things like i know that sounds so just small and simple but that's how#i've been lately like to my brain rn that seems like a really big task. so i just keep coming on here randomly for a few minutes then#disappearing so i'm sorry that i've definitely missed so much and i haven't been around to just show my appreciation and love to your#creations!! also just everything that happened in december and then a bit at the start of january too like i'm just a lil paranoid about#being on here honestly so i'm trying to get back to it and be okay with posting again and i'm going to make a promise to myself to actually#filter more tags i think? just to help me with like not exposing myself to things that do make me feel uncomfortable in any way!! i'm#rambling now but sorry sometimes i just need to lmaooo idk but yes so cute lil subtle things from my carrd i wanna talk about cause why not#i didn't have to change the blue herb from re0 besides making it brighter because it's already teal toned which is so sexy but i shifted#the hue on the spade key like SLIGHTLY like it was so little. but anyways. i use this emoji ✨ on my twitter name and yes cause sparkles but#also. three stars. the s.t.a.r.s. badge and logo :] then blue herb because i will have no poison in my safe space!!!! take a blue herb or#leave please!! only good vibes and safe space here!! spade key because i'm ace <3 i was going to include the diamond one in there as well#because am demiro and like those are the symbols in the community. ace of spades for ace. diamond for demis (both orientations)#but wasn't sure how to weave the pink through the rest of the carrd even though cyan and pink together is so pretty omg
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violetsareblue-selfships · 1 year ago
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good morning!! ^-^
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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I kinda want the show to include Majima Everywhere with no explanation. Episode 1 jumping out of a sewer manhole encounter. Episode 2 jumping out of a giant traffic cone. Episode 3 Officer Majima. Episode 4 Kiryu takes a break to go to a hostess club and guess who the hostess is? That's right, Goromi! Episode 5 Kiryu jumps into a taxi, taxi driver Majima. Episode 6 zombie apocalypse. Etc, etc.
would be a funny lil thing tbh.. i can see that being like a 'before the intro' kind of gag that doesn't disrupt the actual plot
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seventh-district · 1 year ago
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oh my god i can’t decide what to do with my time today
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#video stuff#it’s Sunday so i need to log into Genshin and do my weeklies and i also need to grind for primos to yoink Yelan’s C1 before Tuesday#but i also need to record that so it’ll have to be done later once the house is quiet but i also need to record Lyney’s story quest but#then ​i also want to record Kaeya’s hangout but i also need to see what events are ending soon but i also need to do other non game stuff#like i need to finish going thru my backlog of likes on here and i need to answer asks and i need to work on drafted posts#and i have GOT to start working on ES Ch.4 to get that up by my self-imposed deadline soon but i’m recording that so i can only work on it#early in the mornings or late in the evenings but i also wanna finish this one-shot i’m working on for Dew and get it up on here soon#and that’s easier cause i’m not recording it but if i work on it today that’s not the best use of my time when it’s SUNDAY so it’s GENSHIN#DAY but i don’t FEEL like playing genshin rn i wanna WRITE ugh#but i’ve also got Ao3 comments awaiting a reply and i need to get a few things updated over there and i wanna work on This Is Unconditional#but i don’t have the TIME for that right now and i’ve got a bunch of messages that need replying to and a many hours of videos to edit#and i slept bad bc Nightmares so i just wanna eat and take a nap but that’s such a waste of time and uuuuugh idk man#So Many Creative Endeavors So Little Time#*collapses onto the floor in a frustrated heap*#okay. deep breath. i think. i’m gonna go work on banging out the rest of Hold On to Something bc that’s nearly fully written anyways#and i am Dying to get it out of my system bc Ghost Band fixation u know#i at least wanna get the draft done. i’ll edit/post it another day#then i’ll probably hop on genshin for a bit and do the bare minimum (i only need like 15 more pulls worth so even if i don’t grind and have#to swipe its nbd) and then i’ll hopefully be able to record the first writing session for ES ch.4 later this evening!!!#‘cause good god i wanna get that fic back into production. i miss working on it it’s just so hard to get started again#okay enough rambling. gonna go make Bullet’s lunch and get myself some lemonade. then i shall work
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vacantgodling · 1 year ago
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one day i’m going to write an article about how yes all of my friends are online and no i don’t really want to meet them in person
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rosicheeks · 2 years ago
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We would love to hear you sing a song...maybe singing even a sad song would help lighten your load a little, and we would be blessed with your angelic voice...please.
🥺
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picklesthenonbeanary · 10 days ago
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running low on tagged drafts, gonna need to make some more or actually finish the ones I’ve already got started, oop-
I feel like I’m making empty promises on my Au, it exists I just have been getting distracted and also life is getting in the way a bit. I’m gonna finish my rant eventually my brain just has to actually cooperate with me on it, agh!
#Not art#text post#update I guess?#Gotta make me some more drafts. I have atleast 2 new drawings to share and I gotta get around to making more#Hyperfixation posts here I come!#I wanna make some fandom propaganda for my other hyperfixation. I wanna share my favorite comic around. It’s way to underrated guys#I need to consume other people’s fanart of it so bad! But like I’ve gone through and looked at most of the atleast easier to find ones (tag#And stuff on here. Twitter. devianart and I think that’s it. Maybe instagram but idk how to use that app to save a life)#Both these fandoms are connected in ways that I’d need to explain for you to understand#I’m gonna explain it cuz I can lol#Ok so I find dwtb on tapas. Then I want more comic content so I look at bio’s other stuff. I find and read both msb and planet ribbon.#I want more still so I go to tumblr. Consume official and fanart there. One person was making both msb and tpoh cross over fanart.#I ate it and then went to check out tpoh for myself. Feel in love with that comic as well. Years later/a few months ago I start seeing#Lovestory art and ggg reblogs on my dash (I wonder who that could have been) (twas atleast two people I follow that were doing it so it’s#Not all their fault like I make it out to be. Or was it…). I get an insane hyper need to find out what this cool new thing is out of nowher#. Over a month later and we are here in the now. Ugh yeah. It’s all connected. That’s my big conspiracy#Anyways dwtb just started updating again and I literally just found out like on the 23-24th so you should totally go check it out if you#Like robot. Object heads and absolutely delicious stories. Msb is on the older side and embodies a lot of early internet style Wild West to#It bit it gets really good in the second half and dwtb… well let me tell you the writing on that thing is absolutely amazing! Gets better#Every update. Worth the occasional hiatus’ and long breaks. The creator is somehow making me feel bad for a character I’ve loathed since#Day 1. Like that’s gotta be a sign of good writing If ive ever seen one. It’s so queer too some of the best rep I’ve read in a story#Was my main source of it before ggg lol. Love me some good rep I do#Alright I’m gonna post this now. Been ranting in tags for longer than I’d like to admit. peace!
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luridparty · 27 days ago
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update: GRISPS MY HAIR AND YANKS AND SCREAMS AND . . .........................adlkjglskjl;fafkljkdddddfffffff..........
#not art#byeah every few weeks i return to bitch about dumb shit in my life before disappearing again#hi mutuals. still love you guys. just in silence and distance like a stray cat#anywaysss..#iam an. aggressive person. always have been#but not very social#real ones may remember when ivaguely posted about my limerence unto a classmate of mine#and i did become friendly with him and his boys. but not quite friends#and Certainly not lovers.. :p#thing is. i spend a lot of time staaaring at him#he sits right behind me so i FULLY rotate my chair sideways to make it easier#. .. i talk to him Not Often. so he doesnt reallyyyy seem aware of my devious inner intentions#but TODAY ☝️ one of his friends from another class sauntered in#since we werent doing anything the teacher just let him take a seat and chat for a bit#im just doing my thing. staring at The boy wuite blatantly since hes always focused on work or playing mobile games#and this outsider friend turns to this random guy hes sitting next to (row behind me few spaces to the left)#and he is. Definitely whispering about me. nonoono im so serious#this is NOT ☝️ the paranoia or the ego talking#i can hear The Boys name. and 'staring'. and 'she' and they are most certainly look at me a few times#so erm. erm. ehm. .idk i hope they're talking about me lowkey 👉👈#iam ready to evolve from 'kinda weird but chill girl in my class' to 'wait shes kinda stalking me now that i think about it'#..grins. gums start bleeding#bye chat. go watch 'Minions' (2015). unrelated its just a Really good movie unironically. PLEASE
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