#idk if im supposed to use whos or whose
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whos initials am i supposed to look for in slideshows now
#idk if im supposed to use whos or whose#boy 1 gave me the majorist ick today omfg im so done w his ass. dk why i even asked him out yuck bruh ew#i dont like boy 2 i kinda just led him on a little because it felt nice being wanted but i feel too bad#ill reply if he texts but i wont message first just cause im lonely#its not true loneliness anyway its more that gut crushing feeling that nobody loves me the way ive grown up knowing true love#but i have friends so whatever 💪#ill just look for a+p r+s g+m#percabeth robstar ghostflower 🙏🙏🙏#maybe b+p for broppy bc theyre cute too#sorry yall ive become a yapper too i need to talk#post#erics tag
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sometimes i think im so unreasonable & perhaps too drama prone then something happens & it really puts into perspective that im pretty normal in that regard all things considered
#i talk a lot of shit but when it comes down to situations im relatively level headed... known fact that surprises people#wveryone just loves to get heated & really mean real fast i think we zhould all log off for a little while#that stuff is so exhausting. WHY DID MY MUSIC STOP PLAYING I JSUT REALISED#?!!!!!! WHO ASKED YOU#ahh but... but but... i suppose i have mellowed out after all. thats good. 2019 me wasnt doing us any favours#i remember when i was a ball of anger & so weirdly conflictual. such an odd thing to think about#introspection time. i suppose bpd splitting cant fully let me be Normal#but for a bpd splitter whose stated boundaries get disrespected frequently honestly it could be way worse#idk. sleepy. meow meow. whoaa. i wonder if my mother still thinks i hate men. that was a really funny statement of hers
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what would you do for love?
exboyfriend!rafe cameron x obsessed!exgirlfriend!reader
— in which y/n spirals into a possessive obsession over her ex-boyfriend rafe. she quietly pulls the strings from the shadows, creating accidents, bribing others, and doing whatever it takes to maintain control—believing she is the only one truly capable of loving him.
warnings: y/n acting like a subtle joe goldberg asf😭, drinking, smoking, y/n missing rafe
authors note: potential series??? THIS COULD BE ITS PROLOGUE. idk much about sofias background so i cant write out a full length “dive” on her like joe would in you, but ill do what i can!! im not abandoning “waking up to you” though, just trying to figure out ideas for how to play out the rest of the week ‘til the end LMFAOOO
if u are interested in being part of the tag list, please let me know through replies, anons, dms, or reblogs !! notifications are always on <33
next
you’re rummaging through your drawers, tossing clothes to the side in a desperate search for something that feels right. it’s one of those nights—some random party you’re not really excited for but can’t help going to because, well, everyone’s going. the young adults of the island, at least.
another night of sloppy, underage drinking, messy hookups, and pointless fights breaking out over nothing, the kind of chaos that seems to thrive in a place like this. you don’t even know whose party it is, but that hardly matters.
you’ve already pulled out a pile of tops, but none of them feel like the one. too tight, too loose, too boring, not the vibe. they’re scattered across your bed now as you dig deeper, hoping that the perfect top is somehow hiding at the very bottom. and that’s when your fingers brush against something familiar, soft yet slightly worn—his hoodie.
you freeze for a second, your hand gripping the fabric, and a wave of something bittersweet washes over you. you didn’t even remember it was still there, shoved in the farthest corner of the drawer like you were trying to forget about it. but now it’s right in front of you, and just holding it feels like opening an old wound.
it’s rafe’s hoodie. as in your ex-boyfriend’s hoodie. the one he never asked for after you broke up. it’s stupid, probably, keeping it like this, but a part of you always thought that meant something.
back then, you’d convinced yourself that him not asking for it back was a sign. like he was telling you, in some unspoken way, that it wasn’t really over. that he still wanted you to hold on, just for a little longer. you’d held onto that hope longer than you should’ve.
because now, things are different. you’ve seen him around the island, his arm draped around another girl, a pogue, of all people. the whole thing feels like a bad joke, doesn’t it? rafe cameron, the toxic kook from figure eight, running around with some girl from the cut.
you wonder what her deal is. maybe she’s living out some kind of romeo and juliet fantasy. is that it, rafe? is that what you’ve become—her tragic love story? maybe she’s the kind of girl who romanticizes the idea of being with someone she isn’t supposed to, thinking she’s special because she got him.
the thought makes you frown, a bitter taste rising in the back of your throat. she doesn’t even know him like you do. she doesn’t know the way his mind works, doesn’t know what he’s like when the charm fades, when he’s spiraling, when everything he tries to hold together starts to fall apart.
without thinking, you pull the hoodie closer, burying your face in it. his scent still lingers faintly in the fabric—his cologne. that familiar, warm smell that used to make you feel safe, even when things between you were anything but. it’s been a while since you broke up, but the cologne is still there, still clinging to the material like it’s holding on, just like you are.
you wonder if he still wears it. maybe he sprays it on for his new girl now. maybe she pulls his hoodies around herself the way you used to, breathing him in, thinking she’s the only one who gets to do that now. the thought actually makes your chest ache.
you blink a few times, your throat tight, and gently lower the hoodie back down to your lap. i miss you, you think, but the words never make it past your lips. they just hang there, heavy and silent, as you stare down at the hoodie, wishing things had ended differently.
eventually, you pull the drawer all the way open and spot a shirt hiding beneath where the hoodie had been—it’s perfect for tonight. you pick it up, placing it on the edge of the drawer, but your fingers linger on the hoodie for a moment longer. then, with a quiet sigh, you fold it back up, tucking it away into the corner of the drawer once more. out of sight but never really out of mind.
you shove everything else back in, trying to get rid of the clutter, both in your room and in your head. it’s just another party, another night to pretend everything’s fine. but the hoodie still sits there, waiting, like it always has.
you’re waiting as your friend pours you a drink, eyes drifting over the skatepark around you. the party is in full swing—some are crowded around ramps, a few on their boards showing off, others slouched on graffiti-covered benches, their laughter mixing with the pounding bass.
when your friend hands you the cup, you take it with a nod, cruising through the crowds as you chat. your gaze flicks from group to group—people are either dancing, downing drinks, or getting a little too close in the shadows. you’re only half-focused on the conversation as you weave between the bodies.
you end up hanging by a ramp, watching as a few people race to shotgun their drinks. it’s messy and ridiculous, the kind of thing you can’t help but get pulled into. someone challenges you, and before you know it, you’re joining in. you win—barely—but not without nearly choking yourself in the process, coughing and laughing at the same time. sure, you won, but at what cost? still, it’s funny enough to have you and your friends laughing about it after.
while your friends mess around, you drift away from the noise, leaning back against the railing near the top of the ramp. your phone dangles loosely in your hand, and you’re resting your head on one of your friend’s backs as they chatter on. you don’t really need to be involved in the conversation—it’s comfortable just being there.
you find yourself staring at your phone screen, thumb hovering over the keyboard as you type out a quick message: hey.
it’s to rafe. of course, it is. and you know it’s dumb, you know you shouldn’t send it, but for some reason, everything in you wants to. even though it won’t do anything, even though he’s probably not even thinking about you right now.
you swipe your tongue across your bottom lip, hesitating for a beat longer before closing the app. you’re not gonna send it. you know you wouldn’t have anyway, you were just seeing if you’re drunk enough to go through with it. not this time. maybe another. maybe never. with a sigh, you turn your phone off and shove it into your pocket, trying to push the thought away.
but just then, there’s a commotion at the edge of the park, some people turning to look. a new car’s pulled up, headlights cutting through the dark, and as the doors open, your stomach drops.
yeah, of course, it’s him. rafe steps out, and your eyes lock onto him immediately. he’s got his girl by his side, and the sight alone makes you want to tilt your head back and groan. but instead, you just watch, waiting, seeing what they’ll do.
rafe moves through the crowd easily, that infamous smile on his face, flashing it at anyone who bothers to look. he looks . . . happy, which is great for him, really. it’s nice, or whatever. but as your gaze follows him, watching the way he’s moving with her, there’s a part of you that’s almost relieved. because no matter how content he looks, he doesn’t look happier. not happier than he did when he was with you. and somehow, that’s enough.
“don’t look now,” one of your girl friends mutters as she approaches, her voice low and careful. her back is to the rest of the party, which includes rafe and sofia, not that they’d even glance your way.
“you’re too late,” you say, leaning back against the railing, gripping it with a small smile. normally, you’d be dropping dead right about now, but if you did that, your friend would worry. and really, you’re not bothered. or at least, not too bothered.
“they look good together,” you add casually, waving a hand toward the crowd where rafe and sofia stand. you’re trying to sell it, trying to convince your friend that this is all good with you.
your friend gives you a skeptical look, her brow raised, and you nod, like you’re insisting she believe you. “i’m serious,” you tell her. “they’re perfect for each other.”
she rolls her eyes and glances over her shoulder to check them out herself, hand on her hip as she grimaces. “yeah, she’s perfect if he’s into . . .” she trails off, eyeing sofia's outfit—one of those looks where it’s obvious rafe bought the clothes for her, but none of it quite fits her style. “knock-off country club chic?”
it’s not that funny, but the resemblance is a little accurate. “stop,” you murmur, nudging her. you can’t help the faint smile that pulls at the corner of your lips as you lift your cup, pretending to hide it by taking a sip.
your friend's not wrong, and she catches the smirk you’re trying to hide. “told you,” she teases, a grin spreading across her face as you take the joint from her hand.
inhaling deeply, you let the smoke linger in your lungs before you exhale it in a slow, straight line. as the haze clears, your eyes fix on rafe and sofia, standing together in the middle of the skatepark. your face softens, the humor from earlier fading like something inside you has switched off. no more laughing, no more games.
just them.
just her.
you take sofia in for what she is—pretty. sure, you can give her that. you understand why rafe might’ve been drawn to her at first. she’s the kind of girl who stays close to him, like she’s tethered, like she can’t stand alone unless rafe has to excuse himself. and when he leaves, she fades into the background. disappears.
you watch her now, standing awkwardly off to the side while rafe talks to someone, looking small, unimportant. oh. interesting.
she must like attention. no, not attention, rafe’s attention. she clings to it like it’s the only thing that makes her visible. and yeah, she’s done up nice—dressed in new clothes, no doubt bought with rafe’s money. she cleans up well for a pogue.
but there’s something about the way she fidgets, like her skin doesn’t quite fit right in the fabric. you can tell she’s not used to it, this life. it’s too big for her. she’s nervous, uncomfortable, trying to blend in with the kind of people who were born into this world.
and her smile. you can see it from here, that ‘just to be kind’ smile. practiced, polite. probably something her parents taught her. good for her, really. that’s good.
she works at the pelican yacht club, doesn’t she? you live right by it. the idea that she works so close to your home, that rafe goes by your house just to see her . . . it makes your stomach twist.
she’s short, shorter than most. short hair, short bangs, and so this relationship will be short too.
just a phase. it has to be. or you’ll make it.
whatever it takes.
early tags: @iissza @lotuslovers @obsessionsarenotfortheweak @yootvi @skyslowalking @ariiwritess @beebeerockknot
#rafe#rafe cameron#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe smut#rafe x you#rafe fanfic#rafe fanfiction#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#drew#drew starkey#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey concept#drew starkey smut#drew starkey x you#drew starkey fic#drew starkey blurb#drew starkey fanfiction
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😌 idk if my first request for a fox x reader went through but i’ve been reading a lot (ofc whats new) and uh uh I found I really love fics with CX-2 (Clone Assassin) aND SO, to my favorite SW writer I ask;
How bout a soulmate au with CX-2 (?) Could be a bit of angst with a happy ending, and everyone is just wondering how reader could be with him after all the things he’s done (uh im getting sunshine!reader x grumpy character vibes)
dont have to write this! i just would love to see some more cx-2 fics after reading one just now lol also im down the rabbit hole again that its cx-2!tech whose been reconditioned, do what you feel is best but i just love that theory bc I’m a firm believer too that tech never died 😌
Protective
Summary: For a long time, your parents feared that you didn’t have a soulmate. Until, one morning, you woke up and found a wild dog curled up next to you on your bed. You named him Noir, and the people around you quickly learned that he was fiercely protective of you. However, after Noir kills an Imperial Officer after he threatens, you have no choice but to go on the run.
Pairing: CX-2 x F!Reader, background Tech x Phee
Word Count: 2799
Warnings: None
Prompt: Soulmate AU - soulmates have spirit animals representing each other.
Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly
A/N: So I wasn't able to get the angst to work, largely because I wasn't in an angsty mood. Also, as much as I love the CX-2 being Tech idea, I had a different idea for this fic, so I hope you like it!
“What d’ya have there, Noir?” You ask as you return to the small hut that has been your home for the last three months and crouch in front of your oldest companion.
Noir’s tail wags rapidly as he nudges something in your direction.
You gently rub his head, then carefully pick up his offering, “Oh, it’s a fish. Did you find dinner for us, pal?”
Noir releases a happy yip, and you laugh softly, “Good job, Noir.” You stand and carry the fish over to the rough kitchen to divvy up the portions. Most of the fish will go to Noir, while you’ll prepare your portion with some seasoning that the Wookies traded with you.
Three months ago, Noir slaughtered an Imperial Officer who threatened your life. You’ve always known that he is fiercely protective of you, and you knew that there was a chance that he would kill again if you were threatened.
The first time it happened you had still been a child. Your uncle tried to kidnap you, and Noir reacted violently.
That time, the authorities just nodded and said it made sense, that your uncle had bad intentions. Neither you, nor Noir, were punished for the death of your uncle.
The Empire is much less understanding.
You had no choice but to take Noir and flee from Coruscant.
The pair of you bounced from planet to planet for several months and then were offered a safe house on Kashyyyk, in the Shadowlands far below the treetop homes of the Wookie people.
It’s not easy.
You are, at your heart, a city girl. Hunting and survival skills do not come naturally to you. Luckily, you have Noir. He really is the greatest equalizer.
If not for him, you’d have died several times since you moved into the small hut.
The biggest downside to this whole situation is the knowledge that you’re not likely to ever meet your soul mate.
Well, unless your soulmate is a Wookie, you suppose.
Carefully, you fillet the fish on your cutting board and toss the large majority into Noir’s bowl, the rest is set in a bowl of marinade and shoved into the fridge.
At least you have electricity.
Sure, you don’t have a holo, but you do have a radio that allows you to keep up to date on the current events, and, much more importantly, listen to books while you fight to keep the Shadowlands from reclaiming the hut.
You’re about to flip the radio on, when Noir releases a low growl.
A growl low enough that your hair stands on end.
You turn your gaze to Noir and see that his ears are flat against his head and his teeth are bared. Spooked, you reach for your belt and grab your blaster, and then you nudge the door open.
Noir slinks out of the hut and, cautiously, you follow him.
The forest is silent. Eerily silent.
You scan the forest around you, not that you expect to be able to see or hear anything. It’s enough that Noir is still growling as though he’s on the verge of attacking.
There’s a rustle in a bush, and you lift your blaster, only to lower it as a small, curious-looking creature ambles out. It’s red, black, and white, and you’d almost think it was a raccoon if not for the colors.
Noir is still growling like there’s a threat, but he’s ignoring the small creature, which is still ambling towards you. It stops at your feet and raises on its hind legs, and you crouch to get a better look at it.
When Noir first appeared in your bedroom all those years ago, no one was sure what kind of animal he was. Not even the zoologists at the local university were able to determine a species.
So you spent a lot of time as a child flipping through various animal encyclopedias. And, while you’d never claim that you had a perfect memory, this little creature does look familiar.
“You’re a Red Panda, aren’t you?” You murmur as you lightly stroke the soft fur on top of her head, “Your kind isn’t native to Kashyyyk, how did you get here?” What’s more is that she’s soft, as though someone’s been taking care of her, though based on the scarring around her ankles, she’s been chained up a lot. “Are you someone’s pet?”
The red panda climbs into your arms and promptly falls asleep, nuzzling her face into your neck. “Well, you’ve clearly been socialized. Maybe I can do something about the scarring.”
Your head snaps up as there’s more rustling and Noir’s growl lowers.
Five Stormtroopers stumble into the clearing, “There it is!” One of them says as he points at the Red Panda in your arms, “Get it!”
You stumble backward as they lift their blasters and Noir launches himself at the Stormtroopers.
You’ve always known that Noir was quick. Quick and with a strong bite, but the last time you’ve seen him move this quickly was when you were a child. He manages to kill three of the Stormtroopers before they recognize that he’s a threat.
The fourth and fifth, however, turn their blasters on him.
And, for a moment, you think that you’re going to watch Noir die.
You only think that for a moment, as another man emerges from the forest. He’s clad in black armor, much unlike the stark white armor of the Stormtroopers. And you watch as he uses a blade to kill one of the Stormtroopers from behind.
You watch as he and Noir work in concert to kill the last of the Stormtroopers.
And then you watch as Noir jumps up on the man, his tail wagging faster than you’ve ever seen before. The armored man seems surprised at how friendly Noir is, and, to be honest, you are too.
He’s so friendly with the armored man, in fact, that you can’t help but think that Noir is the representation of said armored man.
“Noir,” You say, drawing the attention of both the wild dog and the armored man, “His name is Noir.”
It’s kind of hard to read him, seeing as he’s wearing a helmet, but you’re pretty sure that he’s staring at you. “Ka’ra.” He gestures to the red panda in your arms, “She’s been a prisoner her whole life.”
“That explains the scarring,” You walk over to him and pass him his spirit animal, a small smile crossing your face as Noir drops to his paws and bounces around you. “I have some medical stuff, to wrap her scars if you want.”
He’s quiet for a long time, and then nods once, “I’d appreciate that.”
You lead him into the hut, and motion for him to take a seat anywhere while you dig around for the first aid kit.
Once you find it, you set it on the table and open it to dig through what you have left. “You know, you don’t have to leave your helmet on.” You note lightly, “This is a pretty safe place.”
The man hesitates for a moment, then he nods once and reaches up to pull off his helmet.
You’re genuinely surprised to see that he’s a clone. He looks like every other clone you’ve ever seen, dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin…though he does have some nasty scarring along the side of his face.
He’s handsome, you decide as you focus back on your medkit. He kind of looks like Noir, if you squint.
Though, now you have to wonder if you look like his Ka’ra.
“Ah, here we go!” You pull several rolls of bandages from the bottom of the kit and some scar powder. “If I remember correctly, this needs to be added to water, and then the bandages need to soak in it for a bit before we apply them—” You mumble under your breath as you flip the bottle and squint at the instructions.
“What’s your name?” The man asks.
You glance at him and introduce yourself absently, before you squint at the directions again, “What’s yours?”
“...CX-2.”
You pause, “Well, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve never actually met another person with a soul animal before.”
“It’s rare, then?”
“One of the rarest soul bonds.” You agree, “The only one that’s more rare is the teleportation one.” You stand to grab a clean bowl and fill it with water before placing it on the table.
“I have a brother with the teleportation soul bond. He vanished one day, never saw him again.” CX replies as he watches you.
“Well, there are a lot of you.” You reply as you add some of the powder to the water and stir it in.
He doesn’t answer for a moment, “What is a human doing on Kashyyyk?”
“Ah…well.” You pause, “Noir killed an Imperial Officer who threatened me.”
CX stares at you for a long time, and then his lips curl up into an amused smile, “Good.”
You shoot him a puzzled look.
“He’s as protective of you as I would be.”
“Yeah, well…he is representative of you, right?” You reply with a small shrug.
“I didn’t expect you to be so calm about it,” CX notes, “You do realize that I’m an assassin, right?”
You start unrolling a roll of bandages, “When I was about eleven years old,” You say quietly, “My uncle tried to kidnap me from my bedroom. Noir,” You nod at the wild dog who is gnawing on a bone, “ripped his throat out before he got me out of the living room.” You look at him, “Why should I be afraid of you?”
CX looks startled for a moment, and then a quiet laugh falls from his lips, “I suppose you have good reason to not be afraid.”
You shrug, “I would prefer it if you didn’t assassinate people anymore, but I’d also prefer to not live in a hut on Kashyyyk, so—” You shrug again, and finally drop the bandages into the water.
“What would you have me do instead?”
“Mm, you can join the Rebellion?”
“Ick.”
A laugh falls from you, “I mean when the Republic was still standing, I never had to worry about Republic Officers threatening me. Within a month of the Republic turning into an Empire, I was threatened by an Imperial Officer.”
“...I suppose that it fair.”
“I’m not going to make you do anything,” You say lightly, “We can stay here if you prefer.”
“We?”
“Well, I assume that you want to stay with me?”
CX gazes at you silently, “I want you safe. So staying does make the most sense.”
You meet his gaze evenly, “I’ll definitely be safer with you, compared to away from you.” You agree.
CX is silent for a long moment, “Mandalore.”
“Beg pardon?”
“There’s a group of former Commandos who have a compound on Mandalore. They’re housing clones and their families.” He explains, “We’ll be safe there.”
“How do you know that?”
“All of the Clones know it.” He says, “Well, save for Alpha Prime, I suppose.”
“How are we supposed to get there?” You ask with a tilt of your head.
“I have a ship.”
You grin at him, and then pull the bandages out of the water, “I think it’s a great idea.”
It takes three weeks for you and CX to get to Mandalore, and it takes even longer for CX to prove that he’s not an active threat to his brothers. You’re not able to help with that, but watching him interact with you does a lot to earn him some goodwill.
You like your new home, it’s not Coruscant, but there is plenty of room for Noir to run around and get spoiled, and he does get spoiled. Not quite as much as CX’s Ka’ra, but pretty close.
Surprisingly, CX is somewhat clingy. When he’s in the same area as you, his arms are around you, or his hand is in yours. You kind of have the feeling that he’s a little touch starved, so you don’t mind it.
On this particular day, you’re lounging in the sun, watching Noir and Ka’ra play together, while CX is sparring with Ordo (only the Nulls aren’t hesitant about sparring with CX, which is sad, but understandable).
You enjoy watching him spar largely because he tends to spar shirtless.
You’re allowed to be a simple woman when it comes to your soulmate, right?
“Watching them again?” A familiar voice pulls you out of your musing, and you tilt your head back to look up at the familiar man approaching you. “You could join them.”
“Hardly, if Ordo so much as scratched me, both Noir and CX would rip him to shreds.” You pat the ground next to you, “Have a seat, Tech. No need to hover.”
“He still wishes to be called CX?” Tech asks as he sinks to the ground next to you.
“It’s his choice.” You reply easily, “How was your physical therapy?”
“Painful,” Tech replies, matter-of-factly, “However, my healer believes that I am getting to the point where I will no longer need to see them.”
“That’s something. Are you thinking of reaching out to your brothers? Or your soulmate?”
“I am…unsure.”
“Oh?”
“I died.” He says bluntly, wincing as CX manages to flip Ordo onto his back, “I died, and my soul bond is weaker than it was before.”
“I assume your doctor has an opinion on that.”
“Of course. He says that I just need to reach out to Phee.”
“Why haven’t you?”
Tech anxiously adjusts his glasses, “What if she has found someone else?”
“Do you really think that she would?”
“...she is a beautiful and clever woman. Any man would be lucky to have her—” Tech starts.
“You’re borrowing trouble, Tech. You need to call her.”
Tech opens his mouth to reply but stops as CX jogs over.
You smile up at him adoringly, and offer him his water bottle, “Having fun, love?”
He smirks, “Ordo is bitching because I managed to flip him. So we’re having a round two.”
“Of course you are.”
He flashes a tiny grin at you and crouches so he’s able to kiss you quickly before he jogs back over to the sparring ring. His training was so different from his brothers, you can tell based on the scars covering his body, and based on the fact that he’s not quite as solid as Ordo and the other Nulls.
Not that any of that matters to you.
You love him as he is.
“It does not make sense to me how someone as kind as you ended up with someone like him,” Tech admits, “He intimidates everyone, and lashes out when pushed.”
“I’ve never been afraid of him.” You reply with a small grin, “Even when he killed someone in front of me, even when he loses his temper.”
Tech shakes his head, “I believe I understand.”
You tilt your head curiously.
“You are just as insane as he is.”
You aren’t able to help that laughter that bursts from your lips, “I suppose,” You say through your giggles, “that’s one way to view it.”
Tech flashes a crooked smile at you, and then gets back to his feet, “I am going to go send Phee a message, and hope that she forgives me. Enjoy your ogling.”
You fling a handful of grass at him but don’t deny his accusations.
The spar ends an hour later after it gets too hot for them to continue, and CX makes his way to your side, dropping onto the ground next to you. Immediately his arms slide around your waist and he presses his face against your neck.
“Did you have fun?” You ask as you card your fingers through his curls.
He hums in response, his arms tightening around you, “I’m glad that you don’t mind coming to these.”
“I enjoy watching you spar.”
He pulls his face away from your neck, “You enjoy watching me do anything.”
“You are ridiculously handsome.” You shift in his grip slightly so you’re able to press your hands against his cheeks, “I’m a lucky lady.”
“Mm, is that right?” CX asks as he leans in and presses his forehead against yours.
“You’re all sweaty,” You whisper to him.
“So maybe we should go home,” He offers with an arched brow, “You can wash my hair for me.”
A giggle falls from your lips, “Deal.”
CX grins at you, and crashes his lips against yours, knocking you back onto the grass.
Everything isn’t perfect, CX still needs gene therapy to remove the enhanced aging, not to mention regular therapy to help deal with all of his issues. But so long as you’re together, everything will be fine.
You won’t allow for anything else.
#star wars#tbb#star wars au#vodika vibes 650 event#cx-2 x reader#star wars fanfiction#x reader fanfiction#f!reader fic#answered asks#soulmate au
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ranting again
I WANT THIS CAT PUBLICLY EXECUTED.
anyways what the HELL man.
NO FUNERAL???? NO FUNERAL FOR GOJO???? THE GOJO CLANS REACTION TO THEIR LATE HEAD OF CLAN???? THE STUDENTS NOT ACKNOWLEDGING IT AT ALL????
USELESS MISSION THAT DID NOTHING BUT TAKE UP SPACE????
Gojo doesnt even get a funeral, just ONE page bro…
he literally died for their sins and this is how they treat him. (jesus reference!?$;!;&:!)
how come we saw a grave for TSUMIKI, AN IRRELEVANT CHARACTER THAT IS ALL GEGES FAULT FOR NOT ELABORATING ON, but not GOJO??? AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER?? The one who let YUUJI and YUUTA live in the first place??? We dont even get to see the corpse of the man who made it possible to defeat sukuna in the first place?!?!!!?
whose gonna be the next strongest then? if its yuuta, hes gonna witness what its like to have lived as gojo, except people ACTUALLY care about him. (is he stuck with those forehead stitches??)
the random sukuna lore drop??? Idek what to say man. mahitos chilling there whining, and sukunas like “actually, i had a choice this whole time….” and the choice is likely uraume. whoever that other person is idk.
Moving on, gege was definitely self inserting into gojo when he said “forget me ooo” like no. imma STILL be stanning gojo 10 years later. on this note sukunas a real one cause he said hed never forget him for as long as he lives. (sukugo canon?!$,!;&: /j)
the fact that gojo just dies stuck in his past is such a horrible end to his character. hes supposed to be moving forward, moving on from his past but he struggled to. and instead of ACTUALLY being able to move on and come back to life, he STAYS there. he just… gives up on the students he wanted to keep alive and happy??? that was obviously young gojo speaking, not adult gojo. but thats another story for another day. hes not SUPPOSED to stay in the past, he was supposed to MOVE ON, and be happy with what he has NOW, but nooooo gege said “Nah, I’d Rush.” and KEPT him there stuck in his little blue spring that will never come back.
that mission was pure filler, it didnt provide anything useful besides “haha look guys its the trio again!!” theres so many plot holes its insane. takaba and kenny are unexplained?? (takaba literally doesnt know who geto is, and he came to know kenny, NOT geto. theres no reason that it would be geto)
in the end i can really see why gojo was always so emotionally distant. nobody seemed to even care about him in the first place. theyre all happy, why cant he be? why is it such a problem for him to live happily? hes not happy. hes stuck in what hes always tried to leave.
also everythings back to square one wtf. is yuuji just gonna steer clear of the fingers?? or is the cycle going to repeat.
you never know what you have till ya lose it, i suppose.
thats it. im inside geges walls.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo satoru#anti jujutsu kaisen ending#anti jjk ending#im so done with gege#DO NOT let that cat in the malevolent kitchen EVER AGAIN#THE HOUSE IS BURNING WHO LET BRO COOK#actually#its still raw because its so half done.#gege you dropped this —> L
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Dude they make weed Way too fuckin strong these days … I finally got some low THC stuff after regular stuff has been making me Very Scared & im like oh this is how weeds SUPPOSED to feel
Also no judgement if you prefer strong weed lol I say this as someone who was previously the Biggest stoner ever and used to smoke like 25-30% so I UNDERSTAND wanting strong stuff I just wish it wasn’t like, the main choice at every dispensary… like idk I feel like even the medical dispensaries are more focused on recreational use than actual medical use and it’s kind of annoying as a person whose mental health is very delicate and weed CAN be helpful at reasonable THC levels for both my anxiety and pain. But when most of the choices are like insanely potent it’s not helpful at all :/
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Tsurune Book 3 Afterword
Full list of translations here
Time for my unsolicited book review!
Tsurune Book 3 is one of the books of all time.
I'm not trying to be funny, that is my true opinion about this book.
I've said before that it feels like the author was forced to write this book in a hurry, and after finishing it, I can only say that those feelings have only grown stronger. I think the author was going for an abstract and spiritual feeling but it didn't really work out. It only made the story hard to follow, and the tendency for the novel to jump from topic to topic seemingly at random didn't help. It's probably super obvious in the author's head, but that doesn't matter if the reader can't follow their thinking. I really do question what the editors are doing because I'm not sure if they're giving the author proper feedback.
The novel also suffers from trying to do a lot but not doing any of it satisfactorily. It introduced a lot of new characters and plot points but never really did anything with them?? The new first-years faded out of the story after the beginning and idek what's going on with Kuon. As for the new school Haneina...the author just gave them one """quirky""" trait each and called it a day. It kinda happened with Tsujimine too but it was more subtle with them, and I think the central relationship of Nikaidou and Fuwa was compelling and well-written. Asahina and Eddie, on the other hand, are just really weird?? I honestly don't understand what their narrative role is supposed to be??
This might be a controversial opinion but I feel like the anime tells a more coherent, polished version of the story. I was rewatching it the other day and I was kind of blown away by how the visual quality improved between the seasons. S1 was definitely not bad looking but S2 is just *chef's kiss*. Idk if there's going be an S3 but it will be interesting to see how (or if) they adapt book 3
Anyways i don't want to say that book 3 is kinda pointless since it did give us some reveals (perhaps unnecessarily) but on the other hand...i feel like book 2 had a nice ending for the series as a whole as well? idk. if there is going to be a book 4, i hope it will be all about Kazemai hunting down Masa-san's bio dad
Thanks for following along with me! I know I've been really slow with this so im glad people are still interested haha
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This happened when I was reading a certain foreign novel’s translated version. As I was reading through the point of view of a character whose first-person pronoun was “私” (watashi), I came across a surprising description. To my surprise, the character I thought was a woman suddenly started to shave their beard. Later, I learned that there was an unspoken rule that men used “watashi” written in kanji, and women used “watashi” written in katakana.
Minato’s personal pronoun is “ore” in hiragana. It encompasses the meaning of “undifferentiated,” someone of unknown gender who is neither male or female, although his physical body is that of a boy. Nanao’s pronoun is “ore” written in katakana, a person of unknown nationality who can’t be classified as either Japanese or foreign, a person who wavers between the two, a hybrid existence that crosses that line. Takigawa Masaki is also someone who hovers between “human” and “not human,” so his name is written as “Masa-san” (マサさん) in the text. Shuu is also a character who is in between.
I’m attracted to such “fluctuating” and “swaying” things. Things that can’t fixed or distinguished in form or state, as changeable as “water.” Kaleidoscopic freedom and loneliness are two sides of the same coin. People who fluctuate cannot stay in one place, and instability follows. Because they can’t be classified, they do not belong anywhere, nor can they be emphasized with. I wanted to somehow hold back those who can’t stop walking. I wrote this story because I wanted them by my side.
Changing the topic, I was on my way home from a domestic trip. After spending a relaxing time listening to the chirping of birds on an isolated island, I heard a large explosion sound when I got off at a certain station in Tokyo. The warning signal of a train entering the station continued to sound, and announcements reverberated from all over. I forgot to bring my earphones, so I was unable to plug my ears and ran all the way to the edge of the platform. Glowing neon lights reflected diffusely, and the words on billboards and other signs crowded in my field of vision like a herd of horses. I almost thought that I had time travelled back to wartime. We had become so accustomed to the flood of sound, light, and text that we don’t realize we’re on the verge of drowning.
Tsurune is the story of masters and disciples and bow friends with the theme of rebirth, and it began as the story of seven archers. The theme of Volume 3 is “Meigen, that is the sound of the dawn,” and I wrote about shari kenshou (seeing true nature through the shot).
I would like to express my sincere gratitude to everyone involved in the making of this book: Koyama Kyugu-sama, who I’ve interviewed, T-sama of the KA Esuma Bunko Editorial Department, Kyoto Animation-sama who was in charge of illustrations, the proofreaders, the novel’s official website, the printing company, and the distributors. The letters I’ve received are my treasures, and I have displayed them in my tokonoma alcove. I would like to thank my beloved kyudo teachers and bow friends, my precious friends, and my supportive family.
Last but not least, I would like to express my deepest gratitude to all the readers who have read this far.
I hope for the day when the beautiful tsurune of the archers will resound.
Ayano Kotoko
Spring 2022
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sorry for the long rant in advance!!
ngl i had (in retrospective way too much) hopes in regards to the portrayal of Christianity in HH. as someone whose mental health was severely affected by bad christian values since i was a child, it could've been such a great concept...but no. (i mean its v*v what are you supposed to expect) i kind of wished for good portrayal of religion being used as an excuse to hate on specific people, how it affects real laws, how sentences/paragraphs of holy scriptures are falsely interpreted, maybe even on purpose, or to hurt people and the hypocrisy behind it all, but also showing that the entirety of Christianity isnt *just* that; people who believe in Christianity like its supposed to be, to work on achieving peace, to be kind and considerate, to help those in need and maybe even love the sinners. And not to judge and hate. If they can portray Hell as shitty as it's meant to be and insist that people like Angel D. should get redemption, they can do the same for the other side? Like the OG idea of redemption was better than what the hell they're trying to do now, the Heaven vs Hell™ thing.. And I'm saying this as an athiest...
One particular idea i had in mind is that Heaven's citizens catch wind of what THEIR belief is used for by the angels & adam and rebel, and maybe even help Charlie by causing a disturbance in Heaven.
another addition: i may not know anything about St. Peter but- holy moly what the fuck is that thing. seriously that design is so uncanny it gives me the creeps. im not suprised they chose the "blonde hair blue eyes" shit either...
As someone who is christian I don't mind the whole "heaven is evil/bad" shit, I actually found it interesting!!!
But making the biblical figures the same ass white boy with (sometimes) a different color palette and head is just straight up gross...
And yeah!, the saints should be empathetic to the sinners, that's what would make them idk......GOOD PEOPLE?!?!?!
(btw I renamed the 'winners' to 'saints' cuz at that point they're just rubbing in the whole "HEAVEN IS FOR WINNERS AND HELL IS GOR LOSERS" bullshit......(and mother mother reference...))
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sad rambling vent post about my relationship with the wayhaven fandom.
i think a lot abt how fandom ruined my relationship with wayhaven bc it's my comfort media but i feel so paranoid interacting with literally every single person in the fandom because of the shit i dealt with and i know i have talked about this before and you're probably like "damn bitch go to therapy or shut up"
but idk sometimes i remember that and i get sad because no matter what relationships I've made in fandom or the people i think are cool or whose writing and art i love, there will always be that voice in my head telling me "there's a discord server where people talk shit about you"
(and i need to stress that's not pure paranoia and early in my fandom days there WAS a discord server where people regularly talked shit about me and accused me of shit i didn't do or say. and some of those ppl are STILL in fandom and still mutuals in law with me)
that isn't to like shame people who may be friends with them esp cuz like im not gonna openly call anyone out over some he said she said they said nonsense but like 🤷 idk i wish that the people who treated me like a fandom pariah didn't succeed in doing so? i wish my friends who had been in that server at the time stuck up for me when it did happen?
because i have an ex friend who would be in my dms telling me how these people are talking shit about me and making false accusations so they can justify hating me but he would still be a part of that server and friends with those people so as not to rock the boat
and idk how am i supposed to feel about that? and like because of shit like this i can't fully trust that anyone in the wayhaven fandom isn't in a group chat where maybe occasionally if i say some shit in the tags maybe someone will bring it up in the server and go "lmao remember that bitch pap we used to talk shit about 3 years ago" and rehash all the shit they used to say to even new people in the fandom
because there are people who preemptively block me when joining the wayhaven fandom and idk how to deal with that when literally the only controversial thing I've ever done is stick to my guns about how i feel about racism and r/adfems in fandom. like that's the kind of shit i got called retarded for and sent anon hate consistently through end of 2020 beginning of 2021? i got accused of harassing a person I'd literally never met for making 1 incredibly general text post about racism in fandom with no identifying information (because i wasn't talking about anyone specific) and people still have me blocked over that shit. I had someone who i thought was a friend vague post about me (a trigger of my paranoia) the same day I posted about how I was having suicidal ideation around my paranoia due to people vague posting about me constantly—literally only over me not using his art in a fandom event, like he got paid + a tip for a commission and in the end we didn't feel it was a fit and respectfully told him so (but he still got that bag??) and he decided suicide baiting was the answer.
girl i don't even fucking know what to do
how do i even begin to repair my relationship with this fucking hostile fandom without grovelling at the feet of shitty white fandom moms who decided im hostile and bringing drama to fandom?
idk im tired and im not sure if this makes sense but I'm hitting post anyway
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dont get me wrong i am more excited for this atla remake and the inevitable renaissance part 2 than i have ever been for anything in my life. however im also terrified of what changes this is going to bring to the fandom. Obviously the 2020 renaissance brought a lot of new and good things (zukka, a ton of amazing fics, etc). But more people joining the fandom means new people joining ao3 and interacting with fics and authors and artists too. Even in the few years that i've been active in fandom i've noticed a dramatic shift in how people interact with artists and authors especially. And I can't see this not getting worse as more people whose main social media experiences include tik tok and instagram coming to ao3 and tumblr. Like these people are used to content creators who revolve their content around what their audience wants because its their job, and I know this isnt going to translate well to the culture around ao3 writers especially when unconsolidated comments and 'advise' is already a problem for a ton of authors. And for people who dont understand that fics and fanart are supposed be transactional in the sense that you need to leave comments and kudos and reblog stuff when they're used to simply liking something *maybe* being enough. Idk whats going on with other fandoms, but I do know that these things have been an ongoing issue for the atla fandom and like I said, I can't imagine having another 'renaissance' and this stuff not getting worse.
#ive been plotting out new fics to post soon with the same energy as someone trying to start a business during a recession#but like i said idk if this is an issue with other fandoms because the atla fandom is the only one im active in#but i *know* that this is an issue for the atla fandom#Like people are commenting less and less on fics but demanding more frequent chapters#and people want to leave critism that the authors didnt ask for while also not leaving an ounce of praise#like there has been an influx of people just being so shitty to authors#and im not sure if its because of ignorance and people genuinely not knowing how fandom works#or if its entitlement and people are expecting the same thing from fandom creators that they do from influencers or book authors#like fandom has been so weird recently and it is a huge reason of why i havent been updating fics and stuff#when i started posting i wanted a community of people who shared my interests#not people who look at me like a celebrity who they can critisize like theyre leaving a review on rotten tomatoes#idk people have gotten a lot more hostile and its not as fun as it used to be and im scared that another flood of people#joining the fandom is going to make in unbearable#this feels kind of whiney but i am curious if anyone else has noticed it#fandom#ao3#zukka#atla#max thinks shes relevant
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Do you ever worry all of the critique you're mounting on Marx is "too academic"? Not that it's necessarily incorrect, but that it won't translate these into changes in political practice in the world even if it's accepted that your critique has merit?
If Marx was just an abstract philosopher who was fumbled around with in the hands of academics only, perhaps this question would seem absurd. But that's not the case for Marx - he and his thought, however incomplete and incoherent, is still grappled with by political actors, however incompletely and incoherently themselves.
And there a whole world of "politics" that "the Left" the world over, still haunted and driven by Marx and Marxism, takes part in...organizing parties and taking part in elections, (intra)-union organzing, legal advocation, protests and mass demonstration, education and seminars, fighting guerilla wars, building communes, etc...and I presume that you are part of the Left that sees all of this action as pointing towards, if only potentially or latently or incoherently, towards revolution and communism.
What are you hoping your intervention does in this world? Are you aiming for a specific, identifiable change in the world of politics and of the Left? Or does the critique justify itself on intellectual grounds alone, even if one can't imagine clear changes in politics and social practice following from it?
i always think it's a bit funny when people level accusations against me of being too "academic" when not only am i totally outside of academia but i probably had less (and worse!) formal schooling than them. i don't say this because i think you're making that kind of case (i certainly read you as being more charitable than that, although maybe you really are going for a dig, idk), but because i think it's clear that even undereducated lowlifes like me have some vested interest in these things for both theoretical and practical reasons. its not about job security for me in the ivory tower, its just the kind of things i think about on the way to and from work (my long reblog earlier was written on the way to my store). to more directly address your question, i think these things have meaningful stakes which aren't reducible to the luxury of academics peddling abstract thinking (although, most of my academic friends are pretty broke too, so im not trying to joust with them here as much as with this notion of an institutionalized marx scholarship that im somehow dabbling in). the takeaway here shouldn't simply be "what if marx is wrong about the political economists he's working with", it's "what if marxs analysis of the system, and by extension, his critique of it, falls flat"
this has political stakes for anybody whose political thinking and aspirations involve using marx as a resource. if he gets capitalism wrong (and, if immanent critique means anything, how could he get that part wrong while adequately understanding the system which is supposed to directly account for the object he is critiquing?) then what does that mean for our anti-capitalism? sure, we could be productively misreading him and still demanding things which maybe aren't justified by his analysis but which are worth pursuing, but how can even tell? by what standard? what if actually our well-intended political maneuvers simply make things worse, as plenty of liberal thinkers would suggest? we can say "yeah well they're dumb liberals so they don't know anything", but this only works if you can safely assume you're right and that they're wrong on the basis of a semi-coherent understanding of the world around you. the ways you struggle against that world is shaped by your understanding of it, and the things you hold against it or the possibilities for what it could be are entirely bound up with what can only be called a "theory" of the system. i think the theory we have of the system has significant political/practical consequences, and if marx is wrong about all of this then we'd be forced to rethink what that means for us as marx-influenced communists.
in that sense, im not demanding a particular change in political strategy, im interested in posing a problem which i think we have to be able to answer. otherwise the whole thing collapses and we might as well settle for social democracy or whatever.
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A little advice and rant (because for some reason writing things here makes me feel better and hopefully doesn't, in-turn makes your mood somber)
Do you have days when you feel unproductive? What do you do?
This feels embarrassing to admit but I used to be one of those kids who got full marks in school and like the first year in college and now I can feel all that slipping away. I constantly feel like my parents are always disappointed in me. If they call me out, I lash out at them. The fact that I'm writing this is idk humiliating me, but I can't just keep it inside me anymore. Now I feel like I was never smart, I was just really good at faking it and now I'm not? I'm tired of faking it... what scares me is how i have started excepting what I am. It just terrifies me sometimes seeing what I have become. I feel angry when I tell this to a friend and they tell me oh ur smart ul make it and I just wanna scream at them like NO CANT YOU SEE IT IM NOT.
I'm glad you can come talk to me about stuff. I've always liked being someone people can talk to.
I do have days that I feel unproductive, but what you're describing sounds like a phase (for the lack of a better word).
As someone who was also the straight-A student in school, I always felt like school was... easier. College is something that is genuinely difficult in terms of the content we learn, the way we learn, the way we are taught, and our peers too. So, firstly, don't be too hard on yourself if you're struggling in college because it's supposed to be a little difficult.
Secondly, college gets harder every year—quite literally. So I think comparing yourself to your grades (or the amount of energy you had) during your first year to now is unfair to you. We don't have infinite amounts of energy and fucks to give. We do have finite amounts of passion for sure. These things get drained slowly, especially as we grow up. So that's why it's so important to study/work on things we enjoy and are passionate about so it's a little easier for us.
As someone whose self-esteem is very much tied to their intelligence, I understand you deeply. I once had a panic attack (a bad one) in my college bathroom when I found out I got a B in a subject. I remember my mom laughing and being like, "That's it? You're so dramatic," when I felt like I was literally collapsing.
So, I get you. I understand the need to be smart. But what I have moved away from is trying to measure my smartness through my grades. Because guess what? Grades don't fucking matter when you leave school/uni. It's not how we judge ourselves or our abilities. Now once you leave school/uni. It is a ridiculous system, and we mustn't let it make us feel shit about ourselves.
Just because you are not getting the same grades you used to, it doesn't mean you're not smart anymore. You do realize you literally know more than you did 2 or 3 years ago? You know more than you did a month ago? You are literally getting smarter every day. Just because it's not reflected in your grades doesn't mean you're not smart.
The fact that your grades are slipping could be because of so many things. The exam marking styles could have changed, the teachers could've become stricter, the subject might be harder, or maybe you have more difficulty remembering details because you are older and your brain has more things to focus on now. It could be any number of things. These are all things you can work on and improve.
There are lots of ways you can do this. Consider using a new learning style. I was always someone who learned visually, and I experimented with auditory learning in uni and realized voices are actually easier to remember than visuals (especially when I got older and could focus better). You can learn with others. It's okay to think of yourself as smart, but don't ever think you're the smartest person in the room - that shit is bad for you. So if you're struggling, look at the people who are not. Ask them to help. It doesn't make you stupid or small. Asking for help is the smartest thing anyone who wants to survive can do.
These are all things you can do to "get better" and go back to those standards you have set for yourself.
But from my heart, I tell you, don't try to live up to the standards you set for yourself when you were in school. The way you judged yourself in school cannot be the same system you judge yourself as an adult. It's two completely different lives, and trying to live up to those standards will only make you feel shit about yourself.
For what it's worth, I don't think you were faking it before. People don't feel so guilty and bad about losing something they faked. If this is something you want to fix and get back to those old grades, then like I said, try new things and see what works and what doesn't. But if you don't want to try too hard, that's okay too. It's not something to be ashamed about. I think the standards we set for ourselves should be based on our current realities, not our past or our future.
I am sure you will figure this one out and will feel like yourself again. You are smart. I have faith in you. You got this.
PS - Not to condone violence, but it's impossible to feel smart when the people around you make you feel stupid, so I don't blame you for lashing out at your parents. If their lack of support is making things worse, you need to tell them. If they want you to be smart, then they better act like it too.
Love 💜
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Hiiiii Orla!!!! <3 Writing this on my computer instead of my phone so rip lack of emojis but how are you? Guess who actually started playing MWII lol I'm really enjoying it so far! I put it on the easiest mode and started playing through the campaign and died a million times lmao That water level that you played through as Gaz had me STRESSING bc it was a pain trying to get on land. People who make water levels just want us to suffer lmao :,,) Idk if it's like this when you play on PC (I'm playing on PlayStation) but it is SO PICKY about when the prompts? come up. idk what it's called but the thing that tells you which button to press when opening doors, taking cover, etc. But other than that and Johnny & Simon glitching during the mission where you play as the Shadow in the heli & have to blow stuff up so Soap isn't going to where he's supposed to go and shining the light I've been really enjoying it! Sorry for the long message lol but since you're one of the people whose fics are one of the reasons to get me interested in the first place, I'd figured I'd let you know! Much love <3 <3 <3
HIHIHI !!!
YAY, im glad you've been able to play it :3 i was ALSO stressing out too, so you're not alone 😭😭 but im so glad you're enjoying it, i loved mwii, i really enjoyed it too !!! 🌷 <3 (i haven't played mwiii yet, i dont think i will since people saying it's bad -- though i have watched gameplay) 🙏
and im glad i was ons of the people to get you interested in this :3 im happy to have such a sweet person like you on my account !!! 🎀🐙💐
MUCH LOVE, MWAUH! 💞
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i rewatched some of naruto via a fan edit recently.
its supposed to make it better... and it does remove the terrible 'jokes' that made me cringe even at 14 and generally improve the pacing.
but tbh its still terrible cuz fundamentally the story kishimoto wrote is bad
if i'd been a smarter kid i wouldve realised it wasnt going to go well when it kept having those world building info dumps (with diagrams!) that bring the narrative to a screeching halt. esp considering these are kids who should know like… basic geography.
(au where after naruto saves iruka he still doesnt graduate because he knows absolutely jack shit, displayed a complete lack of judgement, is completely unqualified for the role and! stole state secrets! lol)
despite that there is enough there that i can see why i got so invested in it. and why the wave was my fave arc. and also why i started to lose interest near the end of the chunin exams.
idk a story about child soldiers being taught by ex-child soldiers is interesting to me. a story where the world seemed to be driven by politics between nations who functionally use their child-soldier-villages like nuclear deterrents. villages driven by clan politics and eugenics in a desire to make the ultimate murder machine.
a world where you no matter how many dragons made of water u can summon, u can still be taken down by smart tactics and academy level techniques. a world where someone who can shoot fire from their mouth at will is a bit player compared to the guys whose power comes from money and politics.
did i mention the eugenic shit going on with blood line techniques? man that coulda been INTERESTING. shit. like i really thought it was gunna explore the trauma that all this shit involves esp when such a big deal was made of narutos childhood. but kishimoto doesnt really care about that.
and i still cant believe he made itachi a good guy. what the fuck dude. he murdered an entire clan of people!! entire families. children. babies. and then he horrifically tortured his brother. twice! dfsdfsdfs but its ok. because………….. listen. its ok now :) dw about it. <- (that was when i peaced out of the manga) i rly thought after haku naruto was genuinely going to start questioning shit. i mean i thought his whole revelation there was 'we are just tools to be used and discarded and thats awful' and not 'child soldiering is only bad when u dont treat them niceys :(' especially when the chunin arc has the hokage go 'i dont care if u die horrfically during this, im just trying to promote our assassination business lol' <- *kishimoto voice* dont think too hard about this
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Been seeing talk about Orpheus and Eurydice and thinking about satosugu being like a dark version or subversion of them. Like Kenjaku forcefully bringing geto back from the dead to force gojo to look back and have a moment of weakness, of hope, even despite his better judgement and dooming him in an even more tragic way than how Orpheus was doomed (because at least it was their choice). Idk...but I feel like there could be something in thinking about the parallels and also the differences.
hello, sorry for taking so long to answer but i was kind of busy and i wanted sooo bad to sit and think properly about this wonderful concept before saying anything. (BTW THANKS FOR THIS ASK IT RUINED MY LIFE)
to get started i have to talk briefly about orpheus and establish my point of view on his act of looking back. this scene is, in some interpretations, about a lack of trust or defiance of hades' orders. i am, however, much fonder of the more popular interpretations (and the same as yours) about how he looks back not in rebellion, but in wistfulness. so thats the route im taking here. this is ironic, because even though stsg is in my brain 24/7 i've never put gojo and orpheus together, and i feel particularly dumb because whats gojo's story besides him keeping looking back again and again even though he knows he's not supposed to?
"[eurydice] now, who must die a second death / did not find fault with [orpheus], for what indeed / could he be faulted for, but his constancy?"
when it comes to the differences between those stories, what i like the most is the details of what they had to lose and gain, and how many chances they got to do so because, as you said, gojo's dooming is even more tragic than orpheus'. orpheus reward for obeying this rule was gaining eurydice back. when he looks back too soon (in most of the tellings by mistake), it's because he considers that moment the greeting of their new start, a greeting he simply couldnt wait to have in front of him. im most definitely sure that, if given another chance, orpheus wouldnt make the same error. whilst gojo, by not looking at geto, doesnt have anything to win, he only has something to avoid losing. his choice of glancing back whenever geto is there doesnt have any other meaning behind it, its just looking at him for the sake of remembering what he is grieving for. and not only that, but gojo has multiple chances to stop doing so, but he doesnt. he never goes forward. geto dies his premature death when gojo lets him go in shinjuku. then he dies the second time in jjk0, hearing something so kind that he has to ask to be cursed, he has to ask gojo to stop looking back. and now he's "back" again, to his third death, because kenjaku knew gojo would still look back. because gojo's worst fault (when it comes to geto) is his constancy. and this connects to the last point, which is the possibility of kenjaku using this against him again. my opinion is that, if gege plans to keep the coherence of gojo's arc, you're totally right and that'll surely be part of his ending. yes, the main point of his fight with sukuna (from a plot relevance perspective) is obviously weakening him before he fights kenjaku. but this, to me, is much more about laying the groundwork for a heavy and final fight, than to actually being the reason why it'll be special. gojo is a man equivalent to a deity, whose only real weakness is his heart, so if he gotta lose, it'll be through that. it'll be because no matter what he has to give up, he cant keep his eyes from going back to geto. and thats not only if he is to lose, obviously. if gojo survives, he needs closure. we need to see him freeing himself from the mourning of his lost days and make the conscious choice of keeping his head forward.
also, this is just an obs but i really hope we get to see geto at least once again, so we can have his perspective on this whole situation. as much as gojo is similar to orpheus, i can see geto being similar to eurydice. while i do think he will be furious at gojo for being captured because of him (we already saw how he thinks gojo should hate him by now), i cant help but also see him being quite understanding. in jjk0 geto gets to hear gojo expressing how important the days they were together were for him, so his view of that has changed a little now. what could geto say about gojo, but that too well he loved?
#satosugu#jjk#i thought i would calm down a little in these weeks without jujutsu kaisen#but look at me spending almost an hour typing an analysis of stsg as orpheus and eurydice lol#ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK I LOVE YOU
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I’m seeing everyone talk about plot holes and inconsistencies in HOFAS. I read the book very quickly in another language and so I don’t really remember these. What are some plot holes in HOFAS?
One thing that’s been bugging me is, probably the only hole I caught, is the concept of limbs growing back for the Vanir, but this doesn’t happen in TOG or ACOTAR. Now that we know the Fae of Midgard are exactly the Fae of ACOTAR, and the Shifters are exactly the Fae of TOG, and it doesn’t seem like any type of evolution has occurred to change the Midgard Fae at all, im confused how regeneration is a thing. I suppose it’s never directly been mentioned in TOG. But Lucien is missing an eye. That faerie in book 1 ACOTAR had his wings ripped out by Amarantha and died from it. We know angels can regrow theirs. I know Cassian and Azriel have their wings shredded and healed at different points, but to me that seemed more like skin regrowing after being damaged rather than whole limbs regrowing. Idk, these things dont bug me severely but it is noticeable…
Just off he top of my head:
Amren who arrived during the time of the asteri/daglan can offer almost no info on them
She was in Prison during Fionn's/Theia's time, but regardless, she supposedly was there in the beginning and she can't provide any insight to anyone
Bryce arrives and conveniently, they just KNOW that she is gonna go exactly where the slithering beasts are...right
When someone drops from the sky or whatever and tells you that your whole world might be re-invaded and you have a history with these immensely powerful creatures who want to come back to your planet, asking 'may i look into your head' is just fucking dumb. It doesn't make you the King of Consent. It makes you the Lord of Dumbness. Why even have this daemati power if you never use it, even to save your people and your world potentially, because you are so...honourable? Come on. That's just ridiculously stupid. And oh-so convenient.
15 thousand years is a long time, but the amount of history that the Fae lose in that time is kind of dramatic. They conveniently remember nothing about their beginnings or anything that's connected to their past. But it doesnt make sense that they would forget because they live thousands of years. That time span could be only 4-6 generations. So their 15k is equivalent to our 200 years. We DEFINITELY know what happened 200 years ago. Like between Rhys and his dad alone, it's 1,500 life span. If grandpa High Lord lives for 2K years before, and another great-grandpa for another 2-3K years, we are REAL close to 15K. But no one remembers shit.
They dont even remember who built Velaris.
So for 15K years, NO ONE, not one person bothered to go on a walkabout in Hewn City, to check out all these walls with all these stories on them. It took Bryce to drop in and just miraculously look at a wall and see the entire history of prythian just like that.
Apparently, Azriel forgot how to winnow. So they needed some very elaborate way of crossing some river. Because he couldnt just transport them across it...
According to SJM 15,000 years is close enough to have an unbelievable resemblance between Ruhn and Rhys so much so that they look like twins, all because they shared some ancient ancestor. But apparently it's far enough for Rhys to know nothing about this ancestor, even though he is her direct descendant.
You have Rhys, whose blood is 'programmed' into the Prison and its wards, you have AMren who spent TWO THOUSAND years in Prison, you have Lanthys, a death god who heard the Harp and its note singing, you have the Bone Carver who imprisoned himself willingly in Prison--and yet NOT ONE OF THEM sensed the presence of an Asteri sleeping in a glass coffin beneath their feet.
Yet Super Bryce found the sleeping Asteri in 2 days. And managed to kill her too.
I can go on and on, but I think you get the point.
Prythians look like backward dopes and maybe they are, but I don't think they are supposed to be? Like the MOST POWERFUL HIGH LORD IN HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! was taken by some girl in pink sneakers. Not to mention her stealing Azriel's prized unique dagger just like that.
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