#idk if im supposed to use whos or whose

[chiistarri]

whos initials am i supposed to look for in slideshows now

[windupaidoneus]

sometimes i think im so unreasonable & perhaps too drama prone then something happens & it really puts into perspective that im pretty normal in that regard all things considered

[x-alightinthedark]

I need to complain about my classmates cause... wtf

[nyxtickled]

story time: a couple years ago i visited my mom back home and she was going thru some of her old boxes of things and i laid eyes on this insane ring that has literally every single quality of my fantasy ring (solitaire, round, flawless, heart and arrow cut, moissanite bc fuck diamonds, etc) and i was like what the FUCK is that mom??? and she was like lmao that was my ring from [second marriage] you don’t remember that? and i’m like no??? i mean i was like. 5-10 yrs old so i didn’t pay any mind back then. but i’m still like UHHHHH??? this is fucking GORGEOUS i can’t believe i never noticed it before omg omg this is everything i drool over when i look at rings !!!

so. she was like. “well i was going to leave it for you in my will but idk why i have to die before i can give you stuff so go ahead take it.” ????!!!??!??!?!

and funnier story: i was still engaged to my ex at the time, while dating my current wife as well (polyamory obvi). and my ex fiancée got pissed at me when she saw me wearing it and was like “uh where’s the ring i got for you” and i was like well it’s on my other hand right now but i just got excited.. and then she didn’t talk to me for like a day bc she said it was insulting to her lmao. i talked to exene after that and she was like “baby im not trying to speak ill of your partner but that’s a little ridiculous. i would be so excited to see you with your dream ring. the whole point is for you to have the ring you love the most. it’s not supposed to be about my ego.”

from that point i had to wear my moms ring on my right hand to keep my ex from being upset. until we broke up.

i immediately started wearing my moms ring on my left hand and decided i was engaged to myself. no more promising myself to anyone but me. mind you i was still dating exene, but neither of us even liked the institution of marriage. she was the one who encouraged me to keep it on my left hand and put myself first. we had no desire to get married, especially not after i’d finally set myself free from the daunting prospect of an unfulfilling lifetime with someone whose relationship with me felt like it was held together by sunk cost fallacy alone.

anyway, it just feels a little symbolic to have eventually married her with this ring. she doesn’t care where it came from. she only cares how i feel about it. she’s always wanted me to have and pursue whatever makes me happiest. and she’s never inserted her own ego into those pursuits. i’ll never understand how i got this lucky. thanks universe <3

[stuck-in-a-forest]

intro post

helo :3

my names:

if i don't tell you otherwise, just call me Shenanigan or Shen i suppose

but here is an updated list of other names I like atm: Bug Griffin

my pronouns:

pronouns page

they/them/any

(basically, im chill and ok with any pronouns but my favorites are they and them but please dont hesitate to use other pronouns including neos ^^)

my gender:

i use a variety of labels, but my main ones are defined below

nonbinary: not a boy/man, not a girl/woman

genderqueer: gender that doesn't conform to gender norms/gender roles

demifluix: gender where part of your gender stays static (the static part for me is just neutral/nonbinary) and the other part is both fluid (it changes) and fluctuating (it changes in intensity)

my sexuality/orientation:

romantic attraction: aroflux/arospike/aromantic/aegoromantic

sexual attraction: aegosexual/asexual

platonic attraction: aplatonic, aplflux, grayplatonic, quoiplatonic

familial attracrtion: quoiplatonic, afamilial, afamspec

aesthetic attraction: omniaesthetic (mayhaps)

alterhumanity:

im an alterhuman, the labels i use are:

nonmorph: somebody who is decidedly nonhuman but otherwise undefined

otherfix: somebody whose identity changes based on hyperfixations

neorudivergence (?):

basically everyone i know irl agrees that i must be neurodivergent somehow but i dont know how

i was diagnosed as a highly sensitive person awhile ago

probably have depression or something

autism? Maybe? Idk tho

current hyoerfixations/special interests:

-epic the musical -the Percy Jackson musical -Harry potter related content*

*consumed in a way that doesn’t benefit JKR in any way, shape, or form

fandoms:

arcane, hamilton, epic the musical, hilda, carmen sandiego, epic the musical, riordanverse, osmanverse, harry potter (fuck jkr tho)

random tidbits:

i use tone tags and emoticons to express my mood a lot :3

i appreciate asks and dms! i love them actually so don't be scared to send over an ask

i do rock climbing

i have 2 labrador retrievers

taglist (lmk if you want to be added or taken off):

@retic-pithon @zithergiltscorner @sage-way @ladyloss-blog @honee-bea @yams-and-toast @rins-batcave @ihavenothingoops @agathokakolog1cal @in-a-mello-mood @get-sh3rlock @beanthebugboi @raeprise @t0by-h @blizzardtheartisticfox @chaos-gremlin @teaktty @the-toaster-rat @sarkylittlemonster

tags:

#my zigzag child - interacting with @zithergiltscorner

#my super cool ex wife - interacting with @ladyloss-blog

#art in a forest - art tag

#shen writes - writing tag

#manifestation story - tag for the story im writing

#shens doggos - posting about my doggos

#shens doggos: buttercup - tag specifically for my black lab, buttercup

#shens doggos: ellie - tag specifically for my chocolate lab, ellie

#shens doggos: buttercup and ellie - tag for both of them

#today was a _ night - tag for my nightly reviews of my day/night

#shens names - posting about name stuff

#new name unlocked - tag for when I acquire a new name

#ze sensory cat hat - tag for posting about this one hat i really like

#shen rates stuff - tag for rating things, idk if this is gonna be a thing tho

#shens goodnight posts - tag for goodnight posts

#shen youre already writing a book stop writing more - tag for the other story im writing

#bug does theatre - tag for theatre related things

family tree:

(this isn't fully updated somebody made an updated version that i need to find)

some userboxes (made by me):

dividers by: @aquazero

[koszmarnybudyn]

This is painfully self indulgent but SU malevolent au. Will get to coloring these later. Also the lineups go: pre earth John, pre earth Arthur, current Arthur, current John (or earth/human disguise Arthur and John), then Kayne, Jarthur/dies ires once they become a stable fusion and Jarthur/dies ires when they first fused.

Now onto au stuff: (this is barely holding onto su canon, again incredibly self indulgent)

Arthur's an Amber (considered pearl cause musicial but decided against it cause i dont really see Arthur as a pearl), i choose amber because of the sea connection and for me they are kinda fire-y, and they are hardened by hardship tree sap which idk seems very fitting for our Arthur who is someone hardened by circumstances. And they aften have rock or animal fragments and i think the being inperfect really fits. He was suppose to be a Kiy (whose a yellow diamond here) court musician but because of the imperfection of his gem he's slithly corrupted and breaks away from homeworld (probablly also sees the error of gem ways), and somehow lands on earth where he meets Bella a human and they connect, they form a close bond that isnt romantic love but both being quite young and amazed with the other think it is. They try to have a kid, it nearly works but last second Arthur pulls away (he doesn't want to die this isn't right etc) which unfortunetly means Bella died and Faroe not reciving a gem dies in childbirth, Arthur didn't realize that would happen he blames himself heavily. He spends a lot more time on Earth meets Parker, when Earth is suddently began to be colonized, with John (not yet with his name) being the one tasked with it. Unfortunetly or fortunetly John ends up crashing badly, which nearly caused him to pop, he crash lands near to where Arthur now resides, he kills Parker, in turn Arthur nearly shatters him, then John force fuses with him. His nearly shattered state, or maybe something ekse leads to some kind of reaction where the fusion is semi permanent now they have to figure out how to unfuse and to solve a mystery, of it all.

The kiy is as mentioned before a yellow diamond. John is kiy fragment thus also a yellow diamond but with some gold bits in it, so not completly pure (he is kinda like Pink dismond here) with being the one to get Earth as a colony, he is how he is in canon personality wise, very clueless to earth while Arthur is very used to it.

Kayne is idk what, im kinda thinking some lab grown gem abomination or maybe not a gem at all but he defintly has shards of other gems/kaynes permanentky fused to him, his main gem is specificlly heart shaped, with all the other gems kinda being blood splaters, he usually has his shurt buttened until the reveal of his state.

Jarthur/dies ires is also im not sure what, gold maybe? But at first the fusion is way less stable thus the 3 eyes, 3 hands and 3 feet (also a not to Johns posssesion in canon, with him also controling all the eyes 2 feet and a hand (one of the three arms being semi numb)) and is suppose to wear a combination of their outfits that is also suppose to look like a travelers garb, with still some performer intertwined. The more permanent version is what they become after, i think they were unfused for a while (Arthur was nearly shattered/shattered then resurected by kayne, and John was dragged back to homeworld/dreamlands), and is wayyy more stable, with each of them having about 50/50 control of it, and the brain being way more alighned tho they still become less fused sometimes when they fight and become unstable. The stable outfit having of course fire and piano motifs with its outfit being way more showman esque.

I have other thoughts and ideas but that's it for now, hope someone enjoys it because well i love su and the au potential of it and i live malevolent and making aus for it and this has been stuck in my brain recently.

[lucabyte]

Hello! First of all I love ur art, and because of that I have something to ask you regarding it. This comic has never left my mind for the last year or so since you first posted it and I was wondering where the specific things the characters are saying came from! Even if it's not from anything and you came up with it yourself, I would love to be able to quote the dialogue elsewhere and know who to attribute it to (because the depth of the relatively simple exchange is MASSIVE and I wanna be able to share it with people)

Hiiiiiii :D

Thank u very much hearing that you wanna quote something i made is insane and absolutely go ahead feel free.

and yea! it comes frommmm my brain. i guess attribute it to my username lol?? Unless it's in a context where attributing usernames would be strange in which case uhh dm me im not super precious about my irl name being used i just find it funny to be anonymous. old timey nettiquete n all that I can step you through what i recall my thought process was at least? Lol. I recall it came to me for the most part like, basically fully formed with the exception of flipping the pronoun from 'me' to 'you' happening when i was thumbnailing it.

Thought process below if u want it. it got long and is kind of a ramble but wheee. idk if this would Ruin the Magic or not but i usually enjoy hearing the reasoning of artists so. ?? sure

so. despite being listed as "alt title:" that joke was actually the starting point. I had been thinking about that one tumblr post that goes "one must imagine sisyphus pokemon puzzle challenge gbc" riffing on the whole one must imagine sisyphus happy thing.

and like ive already rambled about the Bonus Depth that siffrin being named for sisyphus has. The whole thing where the *reason* sisyphus got trapped with the rock in the first place was because he cheated death & in the process stopped death for everyone else too. (though. siffrin did that on accident and sisyphyus was. a rascally and intentional little scamp about it. what with the corpse desecration and all (don't get me started on a potential siffrin/loop reading of sisyphys' time spent seperated from and then returning to his gross rotten body. but im sure we could do something there too.))

so id been thinking abt siffrin-short-for-sisyphus for a while and that obviously makes loop the boulder. and the "one must imagine sisyphyus horny" thing is funny and had been in my brain since. i had been thinking about that post.

then it kind of combined with a disguuuuuustingly mushy train of thought . (spurring from *another* previous joke of mine about how siffrin was >on a boat >looked back >shouldn'tve >this is an orpheus) where i had been batting back and forth an exchange in my head of the two of them (postcanon) arguing in circles who suits orpheus/euridice better and that "well you hardly Doomed me by looking back, you saved me." "I could say the same for you!!" which is just. so sacchirine its embarrasing. (so when i used it for this i cut it off at the 'doomed' part for the mid-canon fight implications.)

And then there's just the. like viciously obvious narcissus stuff. Like loop's design is literally inspired by a contemporary piece of art of narcissus. Howeverrrr I had also been thinking about the part of the narcissus myth everyone forgets. Echo. Whose name literally went on to be Our Fucking Word for a copy (with undertones of being a Hollow Copy!!!) which is obviously supposed to be bleak irony re: narcissus falling in love with his reflection. and because i was being blorbobrained i was like hmm. a Copy falling in love with someone whos infatuated with their Reflection. Being so in love with them despite their utter ignoration that both wither and die? Yeah thats . that could be sifloop

so i come up with that first panel's dialogue due to having these three trains of thought in a relatively close timeframe. But its in like a sappy "eaugh too cute while still being oddly nihilistic" manner. The two of them using a rotating list of greek myth allusions as weird pet names for each other wistfully type shit. Again so saccharine i kind of want to not tell u this but i am being soooo honest right nowwww. but yeah i kind of rotate it in my head for a while, while im just wandering around the house doing nothing.

and then as im scolding myself for "oh come on now. three? three *different* greek myths? not everything is your scrimblo bimblo shipping fuel dude." the second half of the dialogue forms in my brain just kind of unprompted and i go "oh . or it could be fucking baller. hold on" and i think i like. made this in only like 3 hours or something scary like that. just got posessed by how sick as hell my wording was and yknow what? i was right it fucks like hell. glad i pounced on it.

but yeah there's the thoughts. overall it was very meandering and disjointed as always lol.

i'm a little mean to myself for calling my readings "surface level" since like. well nah dude they aren't *that* surface level. im just a horrid stickler for Artistic Integrity and Intent. and like as i point out above yeah. there's plenty implications to read into outside of the surface stuff. Narcissus and Echo dying unfulfilled despite being right next to each other, Sisyphus' seperated body and spirit thing & stopping death for *everyone* (and sisyphus being a king. i am never not on sisyphus being a literal king. What A Choice.), and Orpheus and Euridice being a tale of how You Can't Help but be worried for the people you love, how you'll love so much you'll go against the 'rational' thing to do. Very siffrincoded. Also boats. (Also that part where orpheus gets torn asunder by a pack of women. uh. maybe not that part. hmm. maybe that can be mal du pays (<- JOKING))

Honestly there's a major treatise to be said about like. how even though im talking sifloop here i keep implicating the party (the other people sisyphus stopped from dying, the 'loop as orpheus and the party as euridice' read) because they're kind of so viscerally inseperable- especially loop- after having so much other identity discarded that this becomes their Whole Purpose. However best i can really do is just gesture at it ?? and go ????

this kind of mapping is good to do though especially in a deeper sense. a friend of mine still has an outright *biblical* reading of The King up her sleeve that she may or may not detail someday. so . yknow this kind of drawing back to mythology is where my head tends to be at. anyway narcissus was real for that #1 self love king get it dude (watches him atrophy) uh oh

[maxdibert]

recently found ur acc and I agree with a lot of things (lol considering im a marauders fan/usually interact with snaters) i've always considered snape to be a v complex and well fleshed out character (i think alan rickman did wonders to jk's unpolished writing ngl, he was genuinely sm better in the movies because alan brought the depth to him that jk tried) and I only used to hate him when I was like 14-15. but i have to say, what makes you hate on lily sm (i get a hardcore snape fan would hate james, i dont because i recognize his flaws as what they are instead of making excuses for him)

but lily hate I genuinely dont get, like if we can praise snape for being a complex character why shame lily for being one as well? if you're gonna say its because lily is portrayed as a saint, I could argue that's what happens once one dies, people don't like to speak ill of the dead. that's what happened to severus as well, harry hated him all his life then he died and suddenly he was "the bravest man he ever knew."

i get that lily getting together with james is sad for sev but sev also basically bullied her by using a racial-slur equivalent for her? and we're told constantly james changed and grew anyways.

also i dont understand why a mother's sacrifice is downplayed because "shes supposed to do so"? it is equally heroic for a person to sacrifice themselves for someone else as it is for a mother to sacrifice herself for her child.

mothers are always put on this pedestal to be absolutely perfect but they ARE human beings and idk why we need to be told this in 2025 that it is extremely misogynistic to put women's and mother's efforts because "its their role"

anyways, my point is; when we can recognize severus as a grey character, what's wrong with recognizing lily as one (when shes honestly mostly good, was there for sev when no one was, only stopped after he verbally abused her infront of the whole school)

The root of the problem is not that Lily has flaws—every complex character should have them—but rather how the narrative presents her. It’s not about "Snape fans hating Lily because she chose James," but rather that the story forces us to see her as a saint, even when her actions are inconsistent with that image.

From a feminist perspective, the main issue with Lily’s portrayal is not just her lack of development but how her character is used to reinforce the myth of motherhood as the pinnacle of female virtue. Lily is not written as a complex person who makes decisions with nuanced consequences, but as an ideal: the "perfect woman" who is pure, good, just, and whose greatest achievement in life is being a mother and sacrificing herself for her child.

If we were allowed to see Lily with the same depth that male characters like Severus or even James are given, there would be no issue in recognizing that she had both virtues and flaws. But Rowling's narrative does not allow this. We are told that she was perfect—a loyal friend, a just person, incapable of doing anything wrong. However, in practice:

She is the most important person in Snape’s life for years, yet she abandons him without even attempting to understand his perspective after the "Mudblood" incident. It’s not that she wasn’t right to be hurt, but the break is drastic and absolute. She essentially demands that Severus put himself in her shoes, but she doesn’t even try to put herself in his. When he expresses his doubts about the Marauders, she implies that he is obsessive, tells him he should be grateful to his bully, and laughs at the state of his underwear. She knows Severus comes from a poor and abusive background, yet she engages in gaslighting and class shaming. Does this make her a bad person? No, but it does make us question whether she was truly the epitome of morality that the story sells us. And it would be great if the narrative highlighted these inconsistencies, but it doesn’t. Instead, it tells us that Lily is right in her judgments and that she has the right to be highly moralistic, even though she herself exhibits overwhelming double standards.

We are told that James changed, but we are never shown how and why Lily accepted him. We go from seeing her hate him to marrying him with no real transition, and the only explanation is "well, he matured." If a male character had such an abrupt arc, people would call it inconsistent, but in Lily’s case, we are supposed to accept it as normal—because women have traditionally been seen as maternal figures who exist to nurture and fix men. Because a woman’s task is to change and "fix" men. The narrative does not question what this great change in James actually was because simply having Lily choose him is considered enough. And it’s not. If you’ve spent years watching someone be abusive and violent, you don’t just wake up one day and decide that they’ve changed without any real reason. And besides, why should the burden of "fixing" a man or deciding whether he is good or bad fall on a woman? Why objectify women as moral compasses? If a woman chooses you, does that mean you’re good and have changed? Can women not have flaws and be morally questionable themselves—overlooking certain behaviors simply because they don’t care about them as much as they should from an ethical standpoint? Lily is not treated as a person; she is treated as an idol, an idea, a supreme entity. She is dehumanized.

Her sacrifice is presented as the ultimate demonstration of maternal love, but the story reinforces the idea that a mother must sacrifice herself as if that is her only form of heroism. It’s not just that any functional parent would be willing to die for their child because, on a purely biological level, there is an instinct to protect offspring for the survival of the species—it’s also that the narrative reinforces the idea that mothers, specifically, are the most elevated beings because their identity and individuality disappear once they have children. Tonks was Tonks—a character in her own right—but as soon as she gets with Lupin, she becomes an extension of him, and later, she is only defined by being a mother. Narcissa is "evil, evil, evil" until her role as a mother comes to the forefront, and then she is redeemed by the narrative. Molly Weasley is an obnoxious woman, but because she is a devoted mother to her seven children and nothing else, she is seen as the ultimate maternal figure in the saga. Lily is almost treated like a goddess for sacrificing herself for her child. And I ask—what exactly is exceptional about any of this? Isn’t the bare minimum we expect from a reasonably functional adult who chooses to bring life into the world actually taking care of that life? No, it’s not that women are obligated to be good mothers—it’s that J.K. Rowling is obsessed with motherhood and constantly implies that only through it can a woman attain absolute goodness. And I question that. I question whether being a mother is something extraordinary. I say that being a mother is a very normal, common thing, and that any mother or father would do the same as Lily���and if they didn’t, they’d be incredibly selfish people and terrible parents.

The fact that the story glorifies Lily’s death but barely mentions James’s in terms of sacrifice is a clear example of gender bias. James died fighting, but Lily died "as a mother," and that is why she is seen as more noble. Why? Is a father’s love any less valuable? No, but the narrative sells us the idea that a woman must sacrifice herself to be worthy of admiration.

This is a recurring problem in literature and film: mothers are "good" if they are self-sacrificing and devoted. They cannot be selfish, they cannot be ambiguous, they cannot make mistakes without being punished. If Lily had survived and raised Harry, would she have been just as revered? Probably not, because living mothers are judged, while dead mothers are turned into saints.

When the fandom (or even the canon) downplays the sacrifices of others but elevates Lily’s because "she was a mother," what is really being said is that women have no choice: they are no longer women—they are mothers, and the kind of mother they are determines whether they are worthy or not. That is why I like to demystify the idea that what she did was extraordinary—because it wasn’t. It was something any halfway decent mother would do, even if in her daily life she was a terrible person to everyone else. And I don’t like being sold the idea that Lily’s sacrifice excuses everything and makes her a moral and ethical reference point—because being a mother who loved her child does not mean she couldn’t have been an asshole. Women are three-dimensional and complete beings, not one-dimensional.

Recognizing Lily’s flaws is not hating her—it is giving her the same respect we give complex male characters. The problem is that Rowling does not treat her that way: she places Lily on a pedestal of unquestionable perfection and reduces her to just her motherhood. The fact that the story forces her to be a saint makes her actual character fade into the background, and that is both a narrative flaw and a reflection of how society treats women and mothers.

It’s not about "hating Lily" or saying that "her sacrifice was worthless"—it’s about questioning why the story tells us that this sacrifice is the only thing that defines her. If the narrative gave her the same depth as the other characters, this discussion wouldn’t even be necessary.

[vodika-vibes]

😌 idk if my first request for a fox x reader went through but i’ve been reading a lot (ofc whats new) and uh uh I found I really love fics with CX-2 (Clone Assassin) aND SO, to my favorite SW writer I ask;

How bout a soulmate au with CX-2 (?) Could be a bit of angst with a happy ending, and everyone is just wondering how reader could be with him after all the things he’s done (uh im getting sunshine!reader x grumpy character vibes)

dont have to write this! i just would love to see some more cx-2 fics after reading one just now lol also im down the rabbit hole again that its cx-2!tech whose been reconditioned, do what you feel is best but i just love that theory bc I’m a firm believer too that tech never died 😌

Protective

Summary: For a long time, your parents feared that you didn’t have a soulmate. Until, one morning, you woke up and found a wild dog curled up next to you on your bed. You named him Noir, and the people around you quickly learned that he was fiercely protective of you. However, after Noir kills an Imperial Officer after he threatens, you have no choice but to go on the run.

Pairing: CX-2 x F!Reader, background Tech x Phee

Word Count: 2799

Warnings: None

Prompt: Soulmate AU - soulmates have spirit animals representing each other.

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: So I wasn't able to get the angst to work, largely because I wasn't in an angsty mood. Also, as much as I love the CX-2 being Tech idea, I had a different idea for this fic, so I hope you like it!

“What d’ya have there, Noir?” You ask as you return to the small hut that has been your home for the last three months and crouch in front of your oldest companion.

Noir’s tail wags rapidly as he nudges something in your direction.

You gently rub his head, then carefully pick up his offering, “Oh, it’s a fish. Did you find dinner for us, pal?”

Noir releases a happy yip, and you laugh softly, “Good job, Noir.” You stand and carry the fish over to the rough kitchen to divvy up the portions. Most of the fish will go to Noir, while you’ll prepare your portion with some seasoning that the Wookies traded with you.

Three months ago, Noir slaughtered an Imperial Officer who threatened your life. You’ve always known that he is fiercely protective of you, and you knew that there was a chance that he would kill again if you were threatened.

The first time it happened you had still been a child. Your uncle tried to kidnap you, and Noir reacted violently. 

That time, the authorities just nodded and said it made sense, that your uncle had bad intentions. Neither you, nor Noir, were punished for the death of your uncle.

The Empire is much less understanding.

You had no choice but to take Noir and flee from Coruscant.

The pair of you bounced from planet to planet for several months and then were offered a safe house on Kashyyyk, in the Shadowlands far below the treetop homes of the Wookie people.

It’s not easy.

You are, at your heart, a city girl. Hunting and survival skills do not come naturally to you. Luckily, you have Noir. He really is the greatest equalizer.

If not for him, you’d have died several times since you moved into the small hut.

The biggest downside to this whole situation is the knowledge that you’re not likely to ever meet your soul mate.

Well, unless your soulmate is a Wookie, you suppose.

Carefully, you fillet the fish on your cutting board and toss the large majority into Noir’s bowl, the rest is set in a bowl of marinade and shoved into the fridge. 

At least you have electricity. 

Sure, you don’t have a holo, but you do have a radio that allows you to keep up to date on the current events, and, much more importantly, listen to books while you fight to keep the Shadowlands from reclaiming the hut.

You’re about to flip the radio on, when Noir releases a low growl.

A growl low enough that your hair stands on end.

You turn your gaze to Noir and see that his ears are flat against his head and his teeth are bared. Spooked, you reach for your belt and grab your blaster, and then you nudge the door open.

Noir slinks out of the hut and, cautiously, you follow him.

The forest is silent. Eerily silent. 

You scan the forest around you, not that you expect to be able to see or hear anything. It’s enough that Noir is still growling as though he’s on the verge of attacking.

There’s a rustle in a bush, and you lift your blaster, only to lower it as a small, curious-looking creature ambles out. It’s red, black, and white, and you’d almost think it was a raccoon if not for the colors.

Noir is still growling like there’s a threat, but he’s ignoring the small creature, which is still ambling towards you. It stops at your feet and raises on its hind legs, and you crouch to get a better look at it.

When Noir first appeared in your bedroom all those years ago, no one was sure what kind of animal he was. Not even the zoologists at the local university were able to determine a species.

So you spent a lot of time as a child flipping through various animal encyclopedias. And, while you’d never claim that you had a perfect memory, this little creature does look familiar.

“You’re a Red Panda, aren’t you?” You murmur as you lightly stroke the soft fur on top of her head, “Your kind isn’t native to Kashyyyk, how did you get here?��� What’s more is that she’s soft, as though someone’s been taking care of her, though based on the scarring around her ankles, she’s been chained up a lot. “Are you someone’s pet?”

The red panda climbs into your arms and promptly falls asleep, nuzzling her face into your neck. “Well, you’ve clearly been socialized. Maybe I can do something about the scarring.”

Your head snaps up as there’s more rustling and Noir’s growl lowers.

Five Stormtroopers stumble into the clearing, “There it is!” One of them says as he points at the Red Panda in your arms, “Get it!”

You stumble backward as they lift their blasters and Noir launches himself at the Stormtroopers. 

You’ve always known that Noir was quick. Quick and with a strong bite, but the last time you’ve seen him move this quickly was when you were a child. He manages to kill three of the Stormtroopers before they recognize that he’s a threat.

The fourth and fifth, however, turn their blasters on him.

And, for a moment, you think that you’re going to watch Noir die. 

You only think that for a moment, as another man emerges from the forest. He’s clad in black armor, much unlike the stark white armor of the Stormtroopers. And you watch as he uses a blade to kill one of the Stormtroopers from behind. 

You watch as he and Noir work in concert to kill the last of the Stormtroopers.

And then you watch as Noir jumps up on the man, his tail wagging faster than you’ve ever seen before. The armored man seems surprised at how friendly Noir is, and, to be honest, you are too.

He’s so friendly with the armored man, in fact, that you can’t help but think that Noir is the representation of said armored man.

“Noir,” You say, drawing the attention of both the wild dog and the armored man, “His name is Noir.”

It’s kind of hard to read him, seeing as he’s wearing a helmet, but you’re pretty sure that he’s staring at you. “Ka’ra.” He gestures to the red panda in your arms, “She’s been a prisoner her whole life.”

“That explains the scarring,” You walk over to him and pass him his spirit animal, a small smile crossing your face as Noir drops to his paws and bounces around you. “I have some medical stuff, to wrap her scars if you want.”

He’s quiet for a long time, and then nods once, “I’d appreciate that.”

You lead him into the hut, and motion for him to take a seat anywhere while you dig around for the first aid kit.

Once you find it, you set it on the table and open it to dig through what you have left. “You know, you don’t have to leave your helmet on.” You note lightly, “This is a pretty safe place.”

The man hesitates for a moment, then he nods once and reaches up to pull off his helmet. 

You’re genuinely surprised to see that he’s a clone. He looks like every other clone you’ve ever seen, dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin…though he does have some nasty scarring along the side of his face.

He’s handsome, you decide as you focus back on your medkit. He kind of looks like Noir, if you squint.

Though, now you have to wonder if you look like his Ka’ra.

“Ah, here we go!” You pull several rolls of bandages from the bottom of the kit and some scar powder. “If I remember correctly, this needs to be added to water, and then the bandages need to soak in it for a bit before we apply them—” You mumble under your breath as you flip the bottle and squint at the instructions.

“What’s your name?” The man asks.

You glance at him and introduce yourself absently, before you squint at the directions again, “What’s yours?”

“...CX-2.”

You pause, “Well, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve never actually met another person with a soul animal before.”

“It’s rare, then?”

“One of the rarest soul bonds.” You agree, “The only one that’s more rare is the teleportation one.” You stand to grab a clean bowl and fill it with water before placing it on the table.

“I have a brother with the teleportation soul bond. He vanished one day, never saw him again.” CX replies as he watches you.

“Well, there are a lot of you.” You reply as you add some of the powder to the water and stir it in.

He doesn’t answer for a moment, “What is a human doing on Kashyyyk?”

“Ah…well.” You pause, “Noir killed an Imperial Officer who threatened me.”

CX stares at you for a long time, and then his lips curl up into an amused smile, “Good.”

You shoot him a puzzled look.

“He’s as protective of you as I would be.”

“Yeah, well…he is representative of you, right?” You reply with a small shrug.

“I didn’t expect you to be so calm about it,” CX notes, “You do realize that I’m an assassin, right?”

You start unrolling a roll of bandages, “When I was about eleven years old,” You say quietly, “My uncle tried to kidnap me from my bedroom. Noir,” You nod at the wild dog who is gnawing on a bone, “ripped his throat out before he got me out of the living room.” You look at him, “Why should I be afraid of you?”

CX looks startled for a moment, and then a quiet laugh falls from his lips, “I suppose you have good reason to not be afraid.”

You shrug, “I would prefer it if you didn’t assassinate people anymore, but I’d also prefer to not live in a hut on Kashyyyk, so—” You shrug again, and finally drop the bandages into the water.

“What would you have me do instead?”

“Mm, you can join the Rebellion?”

“Ick.”

A laugh falls from you, “I mean when the Republic was still standing, I never had to worry about Republic Officers threatening me. Within a month of the Republic turning into an Empire, I was threatened by an Imperial Officer.”

“...I suppose that it fair.”

“I’m not going to make you do anything,” You say lightly, “We can stay here if you prefer.”

“We?”

“Well, I assume that you want to stay with me?”

CX gazes at you silently, “I want you safe. So staying does make the most sense.”

You meet his gaze evenly, “I’ll definitely be safer with you, compared to away from you.” You agree.

CX is silent for a long moment, “Mandalore.”

“Beg pardon?”

“There’s a group of former Commandos who have a compound on Mandalore. They’re housing clones and their families.” He explains, “We’ll be safe there.”

“How do you know that?”

“All of the Clones know it.” He says, “Well, save for Alpha Prime, I suppose.”

“How are we supposed to get there?” You ask with a tilt of your head.

“I have a ship.”

You grin at him, and then pull the bandages out of the water, “I think it’s a great idea.”

It takes three weeks for you and CX to get to Mandalore, and it takes even longer for CX to prove that he’s not an active threat to his brothers. You’re not able to help with that, but watching him interact with you does a lot to earn him some goodwill.

You like your new home, it’s not Coruscant, but there is plenty of room for Noir to run around and get spoiled, and he does get spoiled. Not quite as much as CX’s Ka’ra, but pretty close. 

Surprisingly, CX is somewhat clingy. When he’s in the same area as you, his arms are around you, or his hand is in yours. You kind of have the feeling that he’s a little touch starved, so you don’t mind it.

On this particular day, you’re lounging in the sun, watching Noir and Ka’ra play together, while CX is sparring with Ordo (only the Nulls aren’t hesitant about sparring with CX, which is sad, but understandable).

You enjoy watching him spar largely because he tends to spar shirtless.

You’re allowed to be a simple woman when it comes to your soulmate, right?

“Watching them again?” A familiar voice pulls you out of your musing, and you tilt your head back to look up at the familiar man approaching you. “You could join them.”

“Hardly, if Ordo so much as scratched me, both Noir and CX would rip him to shreds.” You pat the ground next to you, “Have a seat, Tech. No need to hover.”

“He still wishes to be called CX?” Tech asks as he sinks to the ground next to you.

“It’s his choice.” You reply easily, “How was your physical therapy?”

“Painful,” Tech replies, matter-of-factly, “However, my healer believes that I am getting to the point where I will no longer need to see them.”

“That’s something. Are you thinking of reaching out to your brothers? Or your soulmate?”

“I am…unsure.”

“Oh?”

“I died.” He says bluntly, wincing as CX manages to flip Ordo onto his back, “I died, and my soul bond is weaker than it was before.”

“I assume your doctor has an opinion on that.”

“Of course. He says that I just need to reach out to Phee.”

“Why haven’t you?”

Tech anxiously adjusts his glasses, “What if she has found someone else?”

“Do you really think that she would?”

“...she is a beautiful and clever woman. Any man would be lucky to have her—” Tech starts.

“You’re borrowing trouble, Tech. You need to call her.”

Tech opens his mouth to reply but stops as CX jogs over.

You smile up at him adoringly, and offer him his water bottle, “Having fun, love?”

He smirks, “Ordo is bitching because I managed to flip him. So we’re having a round two.”

“Of course you are.”

He flashes a tiny grin at you and crouches so he’s able to kiss you quickly before he jogs back over to the sparring ring. His training was so different from his brothers, you can tell based on the scars covering his body, and based on the fact that he’s not quite as solid as Ordo and the other Nulls.

Not that any of that matters to you.

You love him as he is.

“It does not make sense to me how someone as kind as you ended up with someone like him,” Tech admits, “He intimidates everyone, and lashes out when pushed.”

“I’ve never been afraid of him.” You reply with a small grin, “Even when he killed someone in front of me, even when he loses his temper.”

Tech shakes his head, “I believe I understand.”

You tilt your head curiously.

“You are just as insane as he is.”

You aren’t able to help that laughter that bursts from your lips, “I suppose,” You say through your giggles, “that’s one way to view it.”

Tech flashes a crooked smile at you, and then gets back to his feet, “I am going to go send Phee a message, and hope that she forgives me. Enjoy your ogling.”

You fling a handful of grass at him but don’t deny his accusations. 

The spar ends an hour later after it gets too hot for them to continue, and CX makes his way to your side, dropping onto the ground next to you. Immediately his arms slide around your waist and he presses his face against your neck.

“Did you have fun?” You ask as you card your fingers through his curls. 

He hums in response, his arms tightening around you, “I’m glad that you don’t mind coming to these.”

“I enjoy watching you spar.”

He pulls his face away from your neck, “You enjoy watching me do anything.” 

“You are ridiculously handsome.” You shift in his grip slightly so you’re able to press your hands against his cheeks, “I’m a lucky lady.”

“Mm, is that right?” CX asks as he leans in and presses his forehead against yours.

“You’re all sweaty,” You whisper to him. 

“So maybe we should go home,” He offers with an arched brow, “You can wash my hair for me.”

A giggle falls from your lips, “Deal.”

CX grins at you, and crashes his lips against yours, knocking you back onto the grass.

Everything isn’t perfect, CX still needs gene therapy to remove the enhanced aging, not to mention regular therapy to help deal with all of his issues. But so long as you’re together, everything will be fine.

You won’t allow for anything else.

[momo-de-avis]

.........

These past two days have been a fucking whirlwind but I cannot fully express the absolute rollercoaster that was that funeral. There was more joy than anything however. I was reunited with my northern family after twenty years and to these people it's like only a day passed. They were warm and welcoming and joyful and I felt like a part of myself was mended. I have their contacts now and I know we will see each other more. I miss Minho so damn much. The entire time I didn't feel I belonged there because I didn't know any of those people. During the wake, I was introduced not as my father's daughter but as my brother's sister. Some people didn't even know he had a daughter, but it was different at the funeral. People who worked with him his entire life told me my father talked about me, and they knew very specific things (my going to Coimbra, buying a house, graduating, health issues) which was very surprising. They just hadn't met me. The most bizarre thing was having the ministry of health greeting me and at one point, my brother slaps me on the shoulder with a glint of "don't fuck this up" in the eye and the fucking prime minister is there to give me his condolences. Those of you who have figured out who my father was, i suppose you guys understand now why I was always the black sheep of this small part of the family, why my brother tailored himself to be the perfect right wing conservative (our father was basically his hero) and labelled me as this rebellious leftist, why we butted heads so much. Politics talk was always very finicky and avoided. And why I tried my best to keep in the shadows. Idk what he thought I was going to do im that moment for him to look so panicked cause prime minister or not, the man was polite and respectful and it's a fucking funeral anyway. Next thing I know, I'm being told I need to read some fucking prayer at the podium in front of hundreds of people and being invited to parliament for a vote of "grief" by the government. I told them absolutely will not do either. But this is the kind of shit that I am so used to being scolded and villainised for I was terrified of saying no. But these people told me it's up to me, that it does not mean I care less, they understand. Nobody pressured me. It was a whiplash to be treated like a human when I said I don't feel comfortable being in the spotlight. Tomorrow at noon you will not see me in parliament.

My biggest gripe was my father's partner. Up until the funeral, all I felt was rage, rage for having hid his new child from me and for never introducing me properly to his partner. I was sure she hated me for some reason. But then she said "I need to speak to you" and what she told me honestly just ripped me apart. I think at that moment, when she held my hands and spoke in a way that made me realise that she understood things a lot better, and we both just cried in each others arms, I started to let go. It just didn't matter anyway. What's done is done. Then she said her daughter saw a picture of my brother and I and asked who I was, and she said "that's your sister" and the girl went "I have a sister?" And apparently is extremely excited about meeting me. It just pulled me back to my tween years when my lonely, depressed ass used to dream of having a big sister that could take care of me.

It was such a wild day. There's a part of me that healed just for being reconnected with my family. I miss Minho so much. I miss this family whose love language is being a fucking brute and cursing like a mf. I missed this sense of belonging I always felt with them. Twenty years since I last saw them and it was like only a day had passed.

I don't know what to take away from this. It's sad that it takes one dying to start healing from a lifetime of neglect and abandonment and disappointment but it is what it is. I feel I regained my family back. I feel I have my northern rib back in me. I never laughed and cried so much at a funeral. I don't know if the anger I was feeling up to this moment is gone, but it's fading and I have these wonderful people I was always so proud to call a family to thank for. I can now say again that I have so many cousins and so many aunts and I love them all.

Apparently I did not evade all the cameras but it was a regional news website so whatever at least it wasn't national news.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Consider me one of your younger followers who's still trying to figure out their aroace-ness.

How do i really know im aroace when i dont even know how love is supposed to feel like? Sometimes, i think i like a few ppl just a little bit. I have seen myself turn a little gay for some women. (Idk if there's a better way to say it) and feel jealous of other women having partners(mostly male partners)

I do relate to being aroace. But sometimes these doubts come up.

Am i really aroace? Or it it just a phase of mine?

P.S I love your comics🤍

Sorry for the late reply! TwT

I'll be honest, from personal experience... I don't know how love is supposed to feel like either. I thought maybe I felt it in the past but it never got remotely close to things that are described ad nauseam to us in media and popular culture. I never got it. The biggest emotional high I ever got was making sincere friends or feeling connected to my family or accomplished with art. So I came to the conclusion that I'm aro. I don't think a gay person ever understood what it feels like to be attracted to someone of the opposite gender either, so... That's my reasoning for it I guess. I'm aro SO I can't be expected to understand romance. That's kind of the point in my head. And even then, aromanticism is a broad spectrum, so it's very possible it's full of people whose understanding and feeling of romance varies or may even fluctuate.

So to be honest, if you feel that "aroace" defines you properly, and because it's a pretty wide spectrum, I'd say that yes, you really are, and no, it's not a phase, and heck, even if that understanding of yourself came to change for a different orientation in the future, that's OK too. What matters is that you feel happy with yourself.

...I'll also add tbh that being aro and ace is kind of a losing deal cus even within LGBTQ+ spaces you're gonna be invisibilised and othered, so... I doubt you'd be calling yourself "aroace" just to be temporarily cool or whatever. It was never perceived as cool or a good thing by society at large. It's a battle one doesn't pick. If throughout all of that invisibilization, allosexual and alloromantic-spamming and looking-down-upon you still managed to come to the conclusion that it's a good definition for you, I'd say that's pretty telling. I dunno.

On one last note, I'm not sure if the jealousy you feel of other women having partners is directed towards the women because they have partners, or towards the partners because they're with these specific women, but if it's the former at the very very least, I don't think it's incompatible with being aro. Again, society spams us so much with the idea that having a steady romantic partner is the only way you won't end up alone in the world, that it's hard not to be scared of being lonely when we have that identity sometimes. And the alternative sounds so much easier, even if we couldn't get it the exact same way most people do unless we forced ourselves to act in a way that's not "us" deep inside.

...Welp, that's my feelings on it at least, but yeah, the asexual and aromantic spectrums are so wide in the experiences they cover that I couldn't hope to cover everyone's experience within them. I just hope that this helped you feel a little more confident about it. With the way society is, it's made very hard for us not to doubt ourselves sometimes, but I don't feel we deserve to doubt ourselves that much.

I dunno. That's how I feel about it at least. I hope that helps TwT

(Also thank you so much for the kind words!!)

[moonshynecybin]

sorry hi this is babynflames lol anyways i cant stop thinking abt this and idk if it has been brought up in the tumblr space bc im not there lol but in case it hasnt so like jorge martin gave his like first interview after winning to david broncano and his team of la revuelta which is this famous kind of like whataver goes goes show broncano does not prepare the interviews and he has at all times on stage with him a dude with a saxophone and a dude that beatboxes and they r on charge of googling things as they came up? anyways b4 they used to do a show on like. cable. but they just started on the public spanish tv on primetime they r huge. and they recorded the interview with martin and 30 mins b4 its supposed to go on they r told they cannot put it out bc martin is doing his first interview with MYSOGINIST PABLO MOTOS AND HIS STUPIS SHOW EL HORMIGUERO. obviously they r pissed off bc they need 2 find smth to do in a rlly short time and theres like these two teens in the public that r FROM MURCIA (PEDRO ACOSTA REPRESENTTTTT) so they interview them bc they r a show and they get a random like 2nd division football player bc they ask on instagram and the team is like. hes injured and funny if u want him. and they make a lot of fun of pablo motos evidently. and then pablo motos on the next day show basically says that they r lying (about what? who knows...) and that they r a bunch of losers paid for by the government which like. well. in the sense that they work for the public tv. yeah. and basically a bunch of other stupid right wing talking points who cares anyway then on the next ep of la revuelta or smth the timeline is. muddled. to me. i wont lie. the teens from murcia r still there? and one of them is like hey. broncano. i have a youtube channel. can i interview you? and he said sure. so he got interviewes by this kid whose internet name is the murican detective. awesome days on spanish tv 👍😎 and im doing good haha im in uni !

SCREAM HEY QUEEN

[aokuni]

ranting again

I WANT THIS CAT PUBLICLY EXECUTED.

anyways what the HELL man.

NO FUNERAL???? NO FUNERAL FOR GOJO???? THE GOJO CLANS REACTION TO THEIR LATE HEAD OF CLAN???? THE STUDENTS NOT ACKNOWLEDGING IT AT ALL????

USELESS MISSION THAT DID NOTHING BUT TAKE UP SPACE????

Gojo doesnt even get a funeral, just ONE page bro…

he literally died for their sins and this is how they treat him. (jesus reference!?$;!;&:!)

how come we saw a grave for TSUMIKI, AN IRRELEVANT CHARACTER THAT IS ALL GEGES FAULT FOR NOT ELABORATING ON, but not GOJO??? AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER?? The one who let YUUJI and YUUTA live in the first place??? We dont even get to see the corpse of the man who made it possible to defeat sukuna in the first place?!?!!!?

whose gonna be the next strongest then? if its yuuta, hes gonna witness what its like to have lived as gojo, except people ACTUALLY care about him. (is he stuck with those forehead stitches??)

the random sukuna lore drop??? Idek what to say man. mahitos chilling there whining, and sukunas like “actually, i had a choice this whole time….” and the choice is likely uraume. whoever that other person is idk.

Moving on, gege was definitely self inserting into gojo when he said “forget me ooo” like no. imma STILL be stanning gojo 10 years later. on this note sukunas a real one cause he said hed never forget him for as long as he lives. (sukugo canon?!$,!;&: /j)

the fact that gojo just dies stuck in his past is such a horrible end to his character. hes supposed to be moving forward, moving on from his past but he struggled to. and instead of ACTUALLY being able to move on and come back to life, he STAYS there. he just… gives up on the students he wanted to keep alive and happy??? that was obviously young gojo speaking, not adult gojo. but thats another story for another day. hes not SUPPOSED to stay in the past, he was supposed to MOVE ON, and be happy with what he has NOW, but nooooo gege said “Nah, I’d Rush.” and KEPT him there stuck in his little blue spring that will never come back.

that mission was pure filler, it didnt provide anything useful besides “haha look guys its the trio again!!” theres so many plot holes its insane. takaba and kenny are unexplained?? (takaba literally doesnt know who geto is, and he came to know kenny, NOT geto. theres no reason that it would be geto)

in the end i can really see why gojo was always so emotionally distant. nobody seemed to even care about him in the first place. theyre all happy, why cant he be? why is it such a problem for him to live happily? hes not happy. hes stuck in what hes always tried to leave.

also everythings back to square one wtf. is yuuji just gonna steer clear of the fingers?? or is the cycle going to repeat.

you never know what you have till ya lose it, i suppose.

thats it. im inside geges walls.

[driderwife]

Dude they make weed Way too fuckin strong these days … I finally got some low THC stuff after regular stuff has been making me Very Scared & im like oh this is how weeds SUPPOSED to feel

Also no judgement if you prefer strong weed lol I say this as someone who was previously the Biggest stoner ever and used to smoke like 25-30% so I UNDERSTAND wanting strong stuff I just wish it wasn’t like, the main choice at every dispensary… like idk I feel like even the medical dispensaries are more focused on recreational use than actual medical use and it’s kind of annoying as a person whose mental health is very delicate and weed CAN be helpful at reasonable THC levels for both my anxiety and pain. But when most of the choices are like insanely potent it’s not helpful at all :/

[deduction-substitute]

was wondering if you had a take u wanted to share on orpheus/novelist? theres not a lot of lore out there for him and i cant rlly get a grasp of his general personality... was hoping to get a take from someone who was more familiar with him because i want to write him, but im unsure if i'll be able to do him justice :( thanks in advance if you decide to humor me <3

Since this just says "take u wanted to share" this saves me from yapping for like...idk 12 paragraphs...thanks anon or else we'll be stuck here for ages

Anyways, im genuinely so scared of making any kind of take on this man HAHA Orpheus is just a very complex character...i can see why people mischaracterize him as i have fallen victim to it too, but while Orpheus is a man with many faults, but framing him as pure evil isnt something id agree with...

I just think people tend to forget that things can go hand in hand... "Orpheus is a flawed man whose past has hurt him and continues to haunt him to the present day and this has influenced his actions" and "Orpheus is not a good person for the things he did" are sentences that can coexist i think..

For me, Orpheus is someone who wants to be anyone BUT himself. Which is why we have this line in ds 2022, "Can you truly escape the nightmares of your past by imitating another's life?" which refers to Alice.

This is proven once more in Melly's most recent bday letter, where she talks about how Orpheus's personality in aom is more reminiscent of Sam's. Before that manor game, Melly describes him to be introverted and taciturn...she even questions whether or not that past Orpheus was even the real Orpheus

He has no identity for himself anymore. I think he's forgotten that he had one in the first place. Ahh sorry this became more rambley, thinking about Orpheus just makes me sad...he's a tragic person...

In an attempt to right the wrongs of his past he ends up hurting the people he loves, like Alice, but he isnt able to acknowledge it because he's so caught up in trying to escape from the cage of the past he's found himself in that he doesnt know that the door has long been open...unlike Alice, who has already stepped out of it so she can move on, Orpheus unknowingly tangles himself even further...

Alice uses the past to move on and Orpheus lets himself get trapped in it DO YOU GUYS GET IT DO YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND PLEASE...so blinded by the past and "righteousness" that he doesnt see that not only has he hurt many people, but also the people he was supposed to PROTECT

People forget that Orpheus is human himself and only view him for his actions only and not how those actions came to be...but if you do and turn out not liking him still, i get it lol

Sorry again!! This isnt very organized...i just love orpheus so much...i wont deny if there is bias in here...i will say my view on him is influenced by gou (@/gouboot or @/iloveuorphy on twt), but i think their take on orpheus is the best...

If you want to ask more abt orpheus if this ask isnt enough, i wont be opposed!!! i love talking abt him i have so many feelings about this man

Also if u ever do end up writing him..heh...send..../nf

[puff-mmd]

i was telling my friend about how i reworked the main conflict in model of love to be over a ruined dress rather than a ruined sketchbook, but i couldnt figure out what could be said in the argument between ciro and kaisei that would be so bad that kaisei would leave, that would cause ciro to be devastated when he comes back home after dealing with several stressful work situations and seeing he isn't there anymore, and that would be strong enough to make them both realize something has to change if they are going to keep being together afterwards.

I think ciro, in the heat of the moment, with all of the weight of the past few months of unbearable stress, the ruined dress that was supposed to help save his public image as a designer being ruined almost beyond repair days before it was due, and after kaisei lets some of the most hurtful comments he's ever uttered slip out (oh my god what if its about how even with the dress, ciro is going to fail anyways and what then if he's left to fade away with no one remembering him or his work - kaisei thats so fucking low 😭),

Guys.

I think he breaks up with kaisei.

He says he never wants to see him again and that he can't fathom spending his life with someone as dishonest and weak as him.

My friend said what low blow could ciro say that would really hurt kaisei; what would confirm his suspicions that ciro was falling out of love with him, and at this point in his life i think that would be just about the most devastating thing he could hear.

Kaisei, whose biggest fear is of ending up alone.

After d'avon had to leave for his own safety because kaisei's very exsitence put him in danger.

After yakumo could never commit to him and be motivated to change himself for the better.

After woo seok lied to him, used him for his own selfish pleasure and violated his boundaries to the point of nearly never trusting another man.

Having someone he really thought maybe could be the one coming to hate him and never want to see him again, wanting to leave him behind just like everyone else, would just...

It would just break him.

And even worse, what if instead of kaisei leaving without a trace, ciro comes home after a week (he possibly has a nightmare about something bad happening to kaisei after re-enacting their fight in the horrible way dreams twist things), and oh, he knows exactly what's happened - not where kaisei has gone, but...

The fact that he is gone.

There's missing belongings from the living and bedroom. A sticky note on a box of things saying "throw it out or whatever, i don't care", a framed picture of them on their bedside table thats been put on its face, pulled out and torn when ciro flips it upright again.

The thought of ciro falling to his knees and just sobbing is making my heart hurt so bad, him calling yoai (who he has spent this whole week from hell with) barely able to get out that kaisei's gone, that he fucked up and never meant for this to happen.

Y'all the way i just sobbed into my pillow, that's the most visceral i have ever felt over them 😭

He eventually calls kaisei, and it goes to voicemail. Ciro is so broken up he cant even leave a proper mesaage.

He texts him, begging for them to talk about this and that he never meant for any of this and he said things he regrets with all his heart and please please please can we just talk, i can't lose you, don't do this to us-

Kaisei doesn't even reply until the next day with just an address to a cafe.

They resolve things and "get back together" (did they really break up if it was son impulsive like that, idk)

I have to sleep but god i think this might be it folks. I think we hit the climax of the story. Yaaaay im fucki g sobbi g which is a good thing because i want this to be the emotion that this part of the story evokes!! YAAY FOR EMOTIONAL TURMOIL!!!

And the only way it can be fixed is with the two of them sitting down and making the conscious decision to change themselves so they can both be happier together.

Thinking about them both having to concede because they can both be a bit stubborn about change but valuing each other more than anything makes me feel better.

And i think that's a core theme of this story.

True love is worth the change it forces.