#idk if ill be able to do all the days but at least i got one

[vamp-bites]

Conversations had while waiting for a sandsteamer.

Made for day 1 of @acetrigunweek “self-discovery/what makes us human” :)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[gales-boyfriend]

.

[inmirova]

"it's easier to leave an abusive situation than it is to stop an abuser" :^( but it's not easy :^(

[nomairuins]

and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do

[marsbotz]

slamming my fists against the floor like an animal thinkinh abt dadfario

[skythealmighty]

can you imagine if like. object show characters were active on tumblr . i mean fans on here but his account is dead so. i mean itd be fun

#rocket talk #roc save #Fan come Back we miss you

(0 notes)

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

OH MY GOD NEW TPOT EPIWODHWND IM GONNA GO INSANE ONE!!! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS ONE!!!!!!

1️⃣ theoneandonly Follow

:)

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

HELLO??

#oh my god HI . THIS IS LIKE IF A CELEBRITY CAME UP TO ME IN PUBLIC. #ARE THE OTHER ALGEBRALIENS ON TUMBLR??? #/WHAT/

(3 notes)

🧪 test-tubular Follow

My best friend is pacing around my lab. I think a new episode's come out on one of his shows...

#I love him (/p) but he's going to become an unskippable cutscene very quickly

(0 notes)

⛔ nowaynuhuh Follow

i love shrimpy but it feels like he rlly doesnt ... get what i mean you know 😔 at least hes trying to cheer me up? i just wish i had someone to really talk to when it comes to these weird things i keep seeing

💼 emotional-baggage Follow

hey, i completely understand how you feel! im going to be busy the next few days with a finale, but ive sent you a dm if you need someone to talk to ^-^

⛔ nowaynuhuh Follow

thanks, ill take you up on that later!

⛔ nowayhuhuh Follow

...suitcase?

#i dont think shes been online since that last post #i hope shes alright...

(5 notes)

💰 goforthegold Follow

Reblogging this every time I miss my co-hosts!

💰 goforthegold Follow

:(

💰 goforthegold Follow

:(

💰 goforthegold Follow

:(

💰 goforthegold Follow

:(

🎮 iamnotmrkrabs Follow

Are you Okay

💰 goforthegold Follow

Take a wild guess.

(512 notes)

🥈 5centwonder Follow

why do people keep messaging me about hotel things?? i barely even go in two's hotel!

🥈 5centwonder Follow

yowie, you all need a hug :(!!

#especially you baseball guy!!! #im giving everyone in the comments a nice warm soft cookie

(19 notes)

🆚️ wordswithfriends Follow

Reblog if you think Flower winning BFB was a good choice, you like cheesecake, you hate Steve Cobs, you think Platinum is annoying, you're a fan of Dr. Fizz, you watch Jasonville TV, you think Glowstick's elimination was deserved, or you're gay

#they'll never know which one #i'm gay

(3,724 notes)

🔌 electricalmusical Follow

WHY IS THERE INTERNET IN RJE AFTERLIFE HELLO

👑 kingofeverything Follow

OMG NO WAY

🎡 not-tally-hall Follow

GET OFF OF TUMBLR.

🔌 electricalmusical Follow

YOU HAVE??? A TUMBRL???????

🎡 not-tally-hall Follow

...no.

👑 kingofeverything Follow

reblog if u dont have a tumblr

🎡 not-tally-hall Follow

This is stupid.

(10,734 notes)

🍿 stevecobseviltwin Follow

imagine needing to be Consistent to be popular

🖍 magic-crayons Follow

You know it girl!!!

🍿 stevecobseviltwin Follow

AYYYEEEE

#idk who u are but we should hang out Now

(3 notes)

🟢 greenyguy Follow

🅱️alls

(42,853 notes)

🎒 liam-plecak Follow

Oh my god I finally got this thing to connect to the internet. Okay.

Hello, Tumblr, my name is Liam Plecak. I'm sorry for the tag spam, but this is an urgent enough matter that I think warrants it.

For the past year and a half, I've been trapped in another universe with little-to-no communication to anyone else. I've been reading a few posts here and there, and I think some of you might be able to help with freeing me and my friends (I think some of you have powers?). Below is an in-depth description of where I am, what happened, and who did this to me. Please, if you can help, send me an ask.

Keep reading

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

oh my god? liam from hfjone is fucking real????

🎒 liam-plecak Follow

I'm sorry what

[uranometrias]

my love mine all mine , aaron hotchner

this is incredibly self indulgent. i wrote this for myself, because my cat passed away today && i have no idea how to grieve correctly. but i've always been able to express myself the best through writing, so here i am trying to do so.

basically reader loses her kitten && hotch is there to comfort her while she grieves. reader is a doctor && gets her nails painted. mentions of sleeping in a scarf and braids (but this can apply to any race <3) hotch is pretty flirty. he also had a dog that died when he was younger (idk) ... i'm still getting used to writing him (but he's been rotting my brain) so hotch girlies please be sweet to me, i'm trying.

"Have you decided what you want me to grab on the way?" You feel giddy, eyes beaming vibrantly as you unlock your front door. Aaron was on the other line, he'd been looking forward to spending the evening with you for the past two weeks. Your jobs often sent you in separate directions, with him following cases cross country, and you spending nearly twenty hours a day working at Inova Fairfax Medical Campus. The commute was nearly an hour from Quantico, which made it difficult for your schedules to coincide the way you hoped.

Today though was an exception. He'd just gotten back from a case, a successful one, and you'd been lucky enough to finally get two days off. You couldn't contain your excitement when you'd finally managed to get Aaron on the phone, and with Jack staying at Jessica's for another night, it seemed everything was working out in your favor. You still had no idea what you were in the mood to eat, despite having ample time to figure it out. "I dunno." you mutter, and you drop your keys into the basket just to the left of the front door.

"Well honey, you've gotta give me something." Aaron chuckles, and his voices makes you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. "I'm sure you haven't anything at all today." and it doesn't take a rocket science to know he's absolutely correct. Your stomach grumbles audibly, and you cringe, the sound a dead giveaway of your poor eating habits. "Do you need a bit more time to think about it?" he asks, and you're nodding your head, despite the fact that he can't see you. Your focus is split, eyes darting around your place in search of Piper.

Piper was your five year old tabby, the most special companion that you'd cared for since she was a newborn. Usually she'd be making her way to your front door, nudging her head against your shins, meowing her head off as some form of reprimand for being gone too long. Her absence was unusual, but you'd noticed she'd been sleeping a touch longer in the recent months. You'd taken her to the vet and they'd written off any life threatening illnesses. Perhaps she was jus becoming a lazy cat they had said.

"What'd you eat yesterday?" you ask, and you shrug off your coat next, hanging it in the closet as you slip off your cork-leather clogs. You admire your pedicure, French-tips gleaming back at you as your feet hit the cherry laminate flooring. You imagined that he'd hardly been able to eat well while out on a case, Aaron (and his team) had a horrible habit of neglecting their own health and wellness for the sake of cracking the case. You'd call him out on it, but it'd feel to hypocritical with the way you gave most of your life to the hospital.

"Four cups of coffee." and he sounds sheepish as he replies, he'd been running himself ragged with this last particular case. He couldn't leave the precinct until he was convinced he'd made a dent in the investigation. He could imagine your disappointed pout, but he was doing his best, or at least trying his best. "But, Dave made sure that I got something this morning before we got on the jet." and it's not like he has to explain himself to you, you'd never berate him. He believed it was just a side effect of falling for you.

"Four cups?" you gasp, head already shaking. "You're going to turn into a cup of coffee if you keep up with habits like those." you scold. "You'll have to double your water intake, you could seriously dehydrate yourself that way." you say with a quiet huff. You round the corner of the foyer, heading for the kitchen. "Are you feeling alright?" your tone grows a bit softer, "Four cups means you were really absorbed in the case. Everything okay?" you tread lightly. You weren't quite sure how he felt about you asking about his job.

"As far as endings go, I'd say it was better than most." he replies thoughtfully, clearly unfazed by your desire to probe. That makes you smile a bit, the obviousness of his trust for you. "We minimized the amount of deaths, the unsub was taken into custody... the team worked really hard." he proceeds, and you find yourself grinning. "But, I will do a better job of taking care of myself. You'd be a good nurse, but I can imagine a few better scenarios for you to take care of me."

You smile despite the fact it makes your heart stutter step. You were still getting used to him growing more confident in this way, but you weren't complaining in the slightest. "I'd be a great nurse." you correct him delicately, "I'd enjoy taking care of you in any way though." and you bet he can hear your shyness through the phone. Your relationship with Aaron still felt fairly new, you'd been seeing one another for going on seven months, but you knew you loved him.

Even if you hadn't managed to say it just yet.

"Look at that, another thing we have in common." he exhales, and you want him to hurry up and get to you. You hadn't seen him in so long, and despite the fact you were willing to mount him on sight, you just wanted to enjoy being in the same place for once. "How are you? Did you have a good day?" and you like the way he's so attentive, how he seems to genuinely care about what you had to say.

"It was great." you insist, and you've poured yourself a glass of water, ice tinkling as you scanned the dining room for any sign of Piper. Still nothing, weird. "I went to the bookstore a bit earlier, got a few novels for my book shelf." you list. "I got my nails done, and I got a facial. It was so relaxing I wound up falling asleep on the table." and you chuckle a bit at the memory. "Piper and I went on a drive before lunch, she's so spoiled." you add, but you're still scouring the space.

"Drafted up my budget for the month, my new schedule came in," you exhale tiredly at the thought. "Picked up my scrubs from the dry cleaners, I did a grocery run, and went to see the flower exhibit near the Farmer's Market. I got this really incredible soft-pretzel croissant." you sigh dreamily at the memory. "And now I'm home, and waiting for you." you complete, and you lean forward, arms resting against the countertop. "It was a really nice day. I thought I wouldn't know what to do without work, but I'd nearly forgotten what it feels like to be off."

Aaron's silent, but not because he's disinterested in your ramblings. He finds them endearing, and oftentimes had to remind himself that you, much like Jack, needed verbal response in order to feel heard. "I missed you." and it's not quite what he was aiming to say, but it's what comes out. It's true, it had been a while since he'd seen you in person, and with the way your schedules overlapped, he'd hardly been able to get much conversation out of you apart from quick check-ins in between patients and breaks in BAU cases.

You let out a quiet puff of air, it's not quite a sigh nor an exhale. Your lips curve upwards, and you wonder if there's a record out there for most smiles achieved in a single phone call. "You've got no idea how happy that makes me." you reply, and you inhale deep. "I missed you too, hurry up and get over here." you press, and you replay the sound of his responding laugh over in your mind. You don't think you could be more lovesick, but it's a more than welcomed feeling. "As far as dinner, why don't I just cook something?" you offer with a shrug.

"Do you want to?" and Aaron's got this weird thing about him where he's still getting used to the fact that you want to do certain things for him. You go over it a lot, reminding him that you'd love nothing more than to spoil him as much as he spoils you. He's still a bit hesitant, but you don't mind fighting the good fight until he relented. His hands tighten just slightly on the steering wheel, and his leg jumps as he awaits your response. He knows, or better put, he has an idea of what you'll say. He still wants to hear it either way.

"We take care of each other, mon amour." You coo, and he feels that familiar rush of affection towards you. "It'll be fun." you add, and then you're sighing audibly. "I just really can't wait to see you. I don't want to wait any longer than I need to." you express, and Aaron understands. He'd been restless on the jet, Dave and Emily seemed to zero in on his jitters, he was thankful they had enough couth to keep it to themselves. All he received was a knowing smirk from Rossi as he made a beeline for the tarmac the second the jet landed.

"I'll be there soon." he promises, and you grow giddier. "I-" and he wants to cross the line, mutter three worded phrase that would change everything. He'd been learning to be more bold, to focus on the things he could control, and appreciate those things. "I love you." he doesn't have time to think about the repercussions, because it's out, and there's a strong sense of relief that washes over him. You are surprised, but elated. The excitement his words bring you is hard to diminish.

"I love you too." and it comes out as easy as breathing. Probably because you mean it with all of your heart. "I'll see you soon, Mr. Hotchner." you promise, and he's chuckling at your sudden formality, likely a side effect of your newfound nerves at the huge step you'd both taken in your relationship.

"See you soon." you don't bring the phone from your ear until you hear the faint click of the call ending. You exhale shakily, mind running at a mile a minute as your heart seems to double in size. Still, you find this moment is short lived- mind once again on the eerie silence in your apartment. You place your glass down on the counter, coaster be damned as you make your way past the dining room and towards the living room. Sometimes you'd find Piper curled up on the couch, quiet purrs escaping her as she slept contently.

"Piper!" you coo, surprised when you note that she's nowhere to be found. You know that she wasn't outside, you'd made sure before leaving back out that she was comfortable in the house. You follow the layout of your place, the archway that led from the living room back to the foyer is the route you take, heading towards your bedroom as you continuously call for the cat. "Piper, where are you, pretty girl?" you enter your room, hopeful that you'll find her there.

You spot her little paw peeking out of her hideaway and instantly relax. "Oh Piper, you scared me." you let out a shaky sort of giggle as you fully enter your bedroom, feet brushing over the comforting carpet. You kneel just in front of the hideaway, reaching out to pet her. It takes you a few moments to make peace with the fact that she's not rousing. You swallow thickly, a lump growing in your throat as you wiggle her paw. She doesn't move, just as limp as before.

"Piper?" you feel the way your throat constricts, eyes immediately wanting to brim with tears, as you grow frantic. "Oh, please no-" you exclaim, head shaking as you feel a shudder rack through you. You're gentle as you maneuver around the hideaway, hands looping around her small body as you move to pull her out. She's limp, not even the act of you lifting her up enough to make her move. Your glow feels like it's diminished almost instantly, a dark cloud setting in over your head. It seemed a bit silly, panicked over the loss of a cat.

But she was yours, like a daughter to you in the way you cared for her, and made her apart of your routine. She was special, and despite the reputation cats gained for being standoffish and unable to understand human love, you knew that to be wrong. Piper was sweet, a loving cat that curled up beside you every night and followed you like a second shadow. She'd play games of tag with you, chasing you around your apartment as you squealed and screamed for your life.

"Please, please, no-" you're shedding real tears now, they're slipping down your cheeks in a constant succession. "Piper, please wake up!" it's silly, probably. Rocking back and forth with a dead cat in your hand hoping that sheer adoration will be enough to turn back the hands of time. It's certainly not, and the reality crushes you. The first sob is choked, almost like you're holding yourself back, not letting your feelings take full affect. You hadn't prepared yourself at all.

You didn't know what to do.

You think that's when the first swell of sobs begins. They're more ugly wails than anything else, the loud sound echoing through the space in front of you as your arms lower, Piper's body leaning against you as you continued to let your tears flow freely. Your chest tightens, constricting every couple of seconds like you'd suddenly developed chronic heartburn. The pain is a violent assassin, the air around you feeling tight. You think you may be choking on all that you're feeling.

You hate the part of your brain that was constantly in 'Doctor Mode', the side that reminded you that despite your grief, handling a deceased animal like this was a surefire way to get sick. Her body wouldn't start to decompose for at least another day, but you had no real way of knowing just how long she'd actually been dead. You don't move though, until at least your sobs have waned, you know it's not the end of them, but it's a reprieve just for a moment.

You slowly climb to your feet, still clutching Piper as your eyes whip around your bedroom. Your eyes land on her carrier, and the image makes you want to cry all over again. You shut your eyes, allowing yourself to take in a deep breath. It doesn't help. Still, your feet lead you over to the carrier, where you're gently placing Piper. Her vet was only eight minutes up the street, and maybe your ability to dispose of her so quickly was precisely why this was happening to you.

Guilt was loud, too loud. It almost knocked you to your knees as you imagined Piper's fear whilst you were gone. Was she sick? How long had she been? Why hadn't you noticed? Why did you leave her alone? Why weren't you there? You let her down. You had let her down.

You want to curl into a ball, hide under the blankets and cry until you passed out. But, she deserved better. She deserved to not be lugged around like she was some prop, she needed a proper place to rest. Once her carrier is zipped up, you're picking it up by the handles, using your other hand to swipe at the tears still trying to fall. You take the route you'd walked not ten minutes prior, slipping your shoes back on, and grabbing hold of your keys. Aaron still had another forty minutes or so in his drive, you hoped it went by quickly.

You don't think you ever needed him more than now.

────────────────────────

The sobs returned the second you'd walked past the threshold of your house. You sluggishly made your way back to your bedroom. It felt much lonelier now, the house feeling much too big for just you. You think that makes you cry even harder. You're covering your mouth with your hand, hoping that it would be enough to mask the sound of your bawling. You doubt that it does, but you can't do much else. You don't want to go to sleep, you don't want to do anything.

You begin berating your behavior once more in your head, replaying all the ways you'd been a shitty caretaker even though you know it's a bad idea. Your leg shakes under your comforter, the blanket squished underneath your body as you hid your face beneath the blazing heat of your huge blanket. You don't even realize how long you've spent in this space of self-loathing and bitter tears, until you hear the front door's lock shifting out of place. Aaron was here.

"Y/N, sweetheart?" and you want to run to him more than anything. You can't though, because you don't want him to think you're a failure. So you stay put, and you cry a bit more, sniffles growing more audible as you're forced to choke back angry sobs. It doesn't take long for him to make his way towards where you are, and you don't know what he'll say when he finds you looking a mess. You know your mascara has given you racoon eyes, and in your grief, you'd failed to tie a scarf around your head. Your braids would look messy soon.

"Y/N?" and his voice is so soft, soothing, everything you don't deserve now. Your hand clutches a fistful of your shirt, right where your heart rests. "Are you in here, honey?" and you sniffle, an answer all on its own. You barely hear his footsteps, but you feel it when the bed dips just slightly, and you feel it when he gently pulls at your blanket. When he's pulled it back, he's met with the sight of your tear-streaked cheeks. Your nose was runny and raw, and your lip was quivering. It didn't take a profiler to know that you'd been crying, and he frowns.

"Are you alright?" he questions, and his hand reaches out to brush against your cheek and neck, almost like he was checking your temperature. "You've been crying?" and he examines you subtly for any signs of assault or struggle. "Did something happen?" and he knows he keeps asking questions, but he's getting worried.

"P-" and a sob racks through you, your entire body curling in on itself. Your hand is pressing against your mouth again, and your shoulders shake as you began to cry once more. "Piper she-" and your head shakes, hand clenching and unclenching against your shirt. Aaron's eyes dance around your room, and his eyebrows push inwards. He was worried, but determined to be extremely delicate with you, namely by being patient as you got out what you needed to tell him. "Piper's dead." you finally say, shoulders sagging as you weep.

Aaron's examining your face, which gives you a front row seat of the way his face is eclipsed with compassion. "Oh, honey..." his lips pull downwards into a frown, and you know, of course you know it's awkward. What do you realistically say to a person that loses their cat? It's not like any amount of conversation would bring her back. "I'm so sorry...." and usually it sounds empty when anyone offers condolences, but like with most things, Aaron is an exception. "Are you okay? Can you tell me what happened?" he pleads.

And you know that he knows that you're not okay. It's meant to be a stupid question, the obvious one. But you also know that he's giving you the chance to vent, to articulate everything you feel with no judgement. It makes you want to curl into him, and stay wrapped up in his arms until neither of you had any idea where one ended and the other began. "I just-" you have to take a moment to gather yourself, hiccupping blubbers escaping you. "I came home, and I-" your voice cracks harshly. "She was just gone. I don't-" you shake your head.

"I don't know what happened." you express, and Aaron's sympathetic, and he hates seeing you like this. Every time you cry it makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand upright. He supposed that came with loving you, an innate desire to protect you, and keep the bad things out. He'd only ever seen you in this state a handful of times, mostly when things went wrong at the hospital and you lost a patient. He had to get to you before you started blaming yourself for something that completely out of your control.

He didn't know much, but he did know your love for Piper, and how deep it ran. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that you'd never do something to put her in harm's way, you'd never do anything to hurt her. And he wants to pull you into his arms and tell you everything will be alright, he wants to be there to anchor you down. To ground you in the midst of all these swimming and overwhelming emotions trying to fight for the upper hand. He wanted to be there for you.

"Is there anything that you need from me?" he asks gently, grief was harsh, it came in ripples and waves. It was gut-punching, it could be loud and then silent. Sneaky and then outright. It was a process, and whether anyone else thought so, if you needed to grieve the life of your pet, you should. Who was he to ever get in the way? He's gently rubbing his thumb over your cheek, your tears splattering as you kept the duvet pulled up to your chin, as you stared him down. He figured you must have been deep in thought.

It takes a moment for you to reply, and he's fine with the silence. You're tears haven't stopped, but they've grown more quiet. Silent tears that pool and trickle down his wrist and onto the blanket. You soon take in a shaky puff of air as you sit up. Aaron's patient as ever, watching as you pull your legs from underneath the blanket, crawling until you were sitting on his lap. There's no sexual undertone to your movements, you don't want to fool around, you just want to be close.

Your head rests against him, eyes closing as his arms envelop you. "Can you just stay with me?" you ask, and he's already nodding his head. You both knew it was an impossible request. At any moment you could get paged, or he could get a call about a new case. The world didn't stop all because you were grieving, but for one second you both could pretend. He could stay right here with you, and you could love him, and not feel so overwhelmed by all your sadness.

"I'm not going anywhere." he mutters, and he's reaching for your hand. His easily dwarfs your own, but it's still just as comfortable, letting your palms press against his own. "I have never lost a cat before-" and he's treading lightly, wanting more than anything to help you and not harm you. "But I did lose a pet when I was younger." he expresses, and your interest is peaked, just slightly.

"What type of pet?" you ask faintly, and you're squeezing his hand in your own. He knows that it's comforting you so he says nothing about the tight pinch of his fingers pressing together.

"He was a golden retriever actually." Aaron replies, "Nothing was particularly wrong with him. He was fed well, taken care of, treated like one of the family..." he proceeds, and you involuntarily hold your breath as you listen. "But one day he just... he just went." Hotch proceeds, "And when you're a little kid that's not in the best environment, a staple like a pet dog is important. Losing him was like losing the only bit of sanity I could cling to. Does that make sense?"

Your head nods, and you squeeze his hand again to show him you care. "And surprisingly enough, I found myself crying over it. Mourning this dog, an animal that was part of the family, but of course, was not my family member." he continues, and his chin rests on the top of your head. "The point is, him being a dog didn't make it hurt any less when he left. It's okay to be upset about Piper, she was important to you, special even." he whispers. "And you did a great job giving her all the love you possibly could." his eyes close then.

"I need you to know that it wasn't your fault. And keeping yourself up with thoughts of 'what ifs'." it's his turn to squeeze your hand this time. "And those moments where you... didn't want to play, or wanted to be left alone are not what she remembered when she passed on." he insists, and he won't take any arguments on the matter. "You gave her five amazing years, and whether science backs it up or not, she knew how much you loved her." he insists. "You might not believe it today, but I hope that you do in time." and he kisses your forehead.

It's butterfly inducing, and makes you cling all the more to him. "You're not by yourself." he adds, and you're glad to know it. You peel back, eyes locking with his, and they're glassy. You hate seeing such a grief-stricken look on his face, at your sake no less. It makes you lean forward and kiss him, in the hopes you'd manage to kiss it away. He kisses back instantly, and you're still sad, you probably will be for a long while, but you don't feel as lonely as you did an hour ago.

"I love you." you mumble the second you've pulled back, and this time there's no phone. His eyes are swirling with so many thoughts and feelings of his own, but you need him to know you mean it, and likely always will. You couldn't imagine anyone else being here with you like this now, nobody else that would care enough to grieve with you. He gives you a half smile, and kisses you once more, a much deeper kiss that makes you lightheaded and dizzy. Of course he had that effect.

"I love you too." and you're happy that he hasn't left you hanging. Your fingers trace his collarbones and cheeks, moving to cup his face with your right hand. You kiss him again, this time just long enough to get the message across. When you pull back, your head is finding it's place back on his chest, and his arms move up and down, rubbing gentle circles against your back, as he cranes his neck to kiss your head. It makes your stomach flutter, but it makes you want to cry too.

He leaves three gentle pecks on the top of your head, moving to kiss your cheek, before he's looping his arms around your waist with a palpable amount of admiration. He plants a sweet kiss on your shoulder, and mimic this action by offering him a kiss of your own. "Thank you." you exhale, and you mean it so wholeheartedly.

"You don't need to thank me, Y/N. We take care of each other, mon amour, remember?" and he recites your earlier words back to you. It makes you cling to him much tighter, tears returning to your lashline as Aaron pulls you even closer to him. "If you need to cry a little bit more, go right ahead. I'm right here." so you do.

Grief was a lot, it could be paralyzing, debilitating, and outright traumatic, but you knew even if it didn't feel that way now, in time you'd be okay. Part of you felt like you had Aaron to thank for that.

[doodoodinklefart]

okAYYYY so ive been planning this au for literally forever and i couldnt get white diamond satoru and black sapphire suguru out of my head... ive seen a couple other hnk x jjk aus floating around but i wanted to take a crack at it!! i'll just explain these three + the setting for now cuz theres a bunch of other shit brewing in my head LOLOL honestly hnk and jjk are pretty different themes-wise i feel so i couldnt rlly help changing a lot abt the world LMAO

in this au its not just a couple gems in the school, there's a bit more of a society and structure outside of it. there are still the three major "clans" though maybe more like major cliffs?? lol?? that the gems are formed in that produce a much higher frequency of strong, high quality gems. i imagine that before the idea of working together (modern jujutsu society) had come about, gems fought to have control of these spots to assure that they would have those to protect them from lunarians (aka curses we're playing a bit fast and loose here). while there were many attempts to merge the clans, the fighting was more a waste of time if anything, so they stayed separate. jujutsu high in this au would probably just be the school, a set of gems that are trained to always be ready to dispatch lunarians and protect tengen (who is the prayer machine here), who has basically been dormant.

and THATS where we get to white diamond. i wanna say while diamonds are p common irl, its rare here for there to be a fully formed diamond lustrous that actually has inclusions. while there have been extremely strong lustrous born from the gojo cliff, white diamond is the first diamond in several centuries, filling a vacancy after others had been taken away to the moon. not only that, he's got special eyes too!! im thinking he can see sunspots from far away, or maybe can tell artificial gems from real ones, like being able to see their inclusions or something. probably both!! either way he has to wear special blackout glasses during the day. his eyes are really reflective so he can work at night too, but that often leaves him restless.

white diamond—in his mind at least—is untouchable, and really it may as well be true. due to the combat training that he's gone through and his hardness of 10, he has never sustained so much as a scratch. he had a tendency to break all of his sparring partners back home, and thus he feels he's hit a brick wall with his training, and that the only things that will come close to putting up a challenge are likely lunarians. he doesn't really care much for weaker gems at this point, and is eager to finally fight lunarians for once. eventually, he is sent off to the school to begin what he would call "actually worthwhile" training.

black sapphire, on the other hand, was born practically from nowhere, in a unremarkable place with little more than himself and a few other older gems that were around to help shape him. with a hardness of 9, he was the strongest among them and—after his first dangerous encounter with lunarians—he realized he had an obligation to protect the rest of them. his strength often leaves him feelings alienated, as he normally ends up working alone for fear of other being taken away. i wanna figure out how to incorporate his ct better but for now ill just keep thinking about it. for now, it was probably his strength that got his scouted and sent to the school.

boulder opal, or just opal, is in training as a doctor at the school, and shows extreme promise. her lax attitude reveals none of her medical prowess, especially when it comes to gems with missing pieces. she has a particularly good eye for finding missing shards, or finding pieces that she can replace missing shards with. there's nothing she can do if their inclusions reject the replacement, however. maybe she has a way of resonating with the other's inclusions to speed healing up on bigger points of damage?? idk ill figure it out

ANYWAYYY this is getting super long so i'll end this shortly BUT!!! basically, white diamond, with black sapphire (who he calls saph), and opal are all training under yaga sensei (idk what kind of gem he would be yet LOL). diamond, at first, sees opal and saph as weak, but quickly realizes they have their own feats. saph in particular is the first lustrous that has ever made sparring fun, because while he's less durable his combat skills make up for it tenfold. maybe black sapphire is the first to ever leave a break on white diamond who knows... opal is probably always having to put the two back together. theyve never lost to a lunarian before, and have certainly never come close to being taken to the moon. these two are the strongest together, and each finally feel like they have a place to belong.

alsooo..... they do get a mission to escort a "star plasma vessel" of sorts. tengen slowly erodes over the years and needs a compatible lustrous to replace their missing pieces. boleite (riko) happens to be that gem, and diamond and saph need to escort her.... lmaoaoao now i have to design riko, toji and kuroi...

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading in jp 11 - wrap up for vol 2 + i can talk about TriStamp undertaker wolfwood a little!!! whooo!!!

its been hella weird to read trigun in japanese since my first read was in english. i think i dug out a few extra stuff i didnt know existed in the work during this little journey. (thank you for joining in on my rambles!)

no real translation word related stuff today. mostly culture stuff dump.

but man i was right on the money when i said vash was stressed in #10. i forget he actually falls unconscious after dominique quits the narrative. yay~

me after i finish these posts at 5am every time

and then, him.

🥺✨✨raidei the blade. ✨✨ 🥺

listen. this guy. this fucking guy is, personally, the funniest guy in the entirety of trigun. for that line above in the 98 anime, and also for some stuff he represents. ...and it's not for larping reasons. ill get into that another day, please look forward to it. (i say this knowing his backstory was rough.)

anyway its time.... for Wolfwood's 'job change'.

in the manga he introduces himself as a tradesman Priest. it doesnt make much sense to outsiders but despite people getting confused, it mostly gets hand waved off as the guy being a little eccentric. and also prideful.

we then get more information about that being a cover for him being one of the Gung Ho Guns, Chapel. he can fight, hes an assassin, his job is to somehow get at Vash while being technically employed by Knives.

this wolfwood has absolutely no struggle with himself as a Priest specifically. heck, its even giving him some confidence bc he actually knows his stuff and can get by with those priestly things alone. at least, i assume so, bc otherwise the pride thing would be very misplaced as he is revealed that he really wants out of the insane GHG business, and wants nothing to do with his coworkers, as it were.

but TriStamp Wolfwood is... different in that pride regard

this version of wolfwood introduces himself as an Undertaker. he's technically a Priest, but he clearly lacks so much pride that he chooses to be an Undertaker.

the narrative tracks since he's the guide to send Vash to hell in tristamp, but theres at least 1 more layer to this.

so, Shinto! Shinto has played a very big part in Japanese culture and history since idk the beginning of Japanese history, affecting society and culture and governance.

key thing for this post: Shinto has a concept named Kegare/Defilement, which you can think of as an accumulation of evil energy. bad energy. bad enough to attract misfortune, evil spirits, and evil evil evil bad bad bad. (ive actually written about this in video game context before if you wanna read it here)

Kegare is generated upon death, blood, menstruation, and all that. in some modern media, Kegare can also be depicted to be generated by an accumulation of negative emotions from people. but for the longest time, it was mainly Death. (oh and somewhat also women with the whole uh.... you know, menstruation, childbirth, and stillbirths etc.)

but: Kegare is NOT sin, and should not be seen as such.

old japan governance also used Caste System. so combine that with shinto, and society and here's the not fun stuff: we now have a discriminated class of people who did all of society's very necessary but deemed dirty jobs. these are the Butchers, Leatherworkers, Executioners, and Undertakers. (which is wild. a society would not be able to function without them.)

they are shunned, deemed too dirty, too tainted, too polluted to ever have a hope of having a better life. since social mobility wasnt a thing with Caste System. and coming too close to them means pollution on the self too.

the Caste System got abolished, and today the descendants are called Burakumin 部落民. they are still being discriminated against to this day. the remnants of the dirtiness with certain jobs still remain, especially with jobs that involves the dead. its also possible to know who is a descendant of one through family names, which can be used to trace family registry and sus out old residences etc.

feel free to watch the above video for a clearer explanation by a japanese man instead of just taking my word for it >_>

back to wolfwood.

studio orange making him go from Priest to Undertaker is likely rooted in a logic associated with this. that TriStamp wolfwood lacks the confidence to have a strong identity outside of GHG, whereas manga wolfwood has. that TriStamp wolfwood really does think of himself as trash and worthless even before outsiders' judgement, whereas manga wolfwood's struggle is more about an internal struggle of being lost.

manga wolfwood is also never truly free from his identity as Chapel until the very end.

but TriStamp wolfwood gets a full contract saying that hes free from Chapel (i assume!)

i think theres also additional implications but im losing braincells by the minute. the change makes so much sense and tracks so well that apart from the confidence thing, everything is more or less intact.

(worth possibly nothing also, I think TriStamp wolfwood isnt fully checking boxes of uhhh Normality in japanese context. hes dressed in a mess, hes not clean shaven, his skin is kinda dark and not fair, he speaks in non-standard japanese. but ymmv, he will be ok in kansai at least, but not fully fitting in in Capital Tokyo nor ex-Capital Kyoto.)

i also, admittedly, dont know much about the culture surrounding death and undertakers within the states or europe so i cant comment much on that aspect. im aware i must have missed something. on that front, sorry D:

anyway thats all i got for now! thanks for reading this long ass post!

[the-s1lly-corner]

can you make headcanons for all the tadc cast with a reckless reader?

also, have a good day :)

-daz

TADC cast x reckless! reader!

last post for this batch! ill get right back to answering stuff soon! my cinnamon roll dough is almost done with its first rise and ill have to shape them soon! also gotta make the frosting..! short post since the base of one of my thumbs is getting a lil sore idk if its because ive been typing so much these past few days or if i just slept on my hand wrong; maybe both

CAINE:

youre in luck reader! you cant really get hurt in the digital world...! well, not... traditionally.. you can definitely still feel pain, thats for sure, but i dont think your digital body has any bones to break or skin to scrape..! so hey at least you can kind of be as reckless as you want without consequence...! except, there are consequences. caine is not at all happy at your recklessness.. i mean sure yeah some of his IHAs can be more... intense, i mean zooble almost got turned into a gloink, but..! i think he tones down his adventures just so you wont throw yourself into the danger

POMNI:

tries to stop you but her words fall short as you run in yelling into whatever the threat is without a second thought. "i- wait- er..." and youre gone, leaving pomni to hurry and try to catch up with you. she probably has to drag you to safety, assuming this isnt a case where you got all glitched up by an abstracted circus member.. shes gonna have to work herself up to get you to chill out; perhaps ending in a whole emotional thing where she just. explodes? perhaps

RAGATHA:

just because you cant get hurt doesnt mean shes not going to fuss over you. if there were a need for it i think she would keep a pack of Band-Aids on her. however, because you guys cant get hurt in that way, she tries to keep you in bed when you inevitably get knocked a little too hard and need to rest it off. dont even think about trying to get up out of bed, shes going to give you this stern look that only a few percentage of people can muster.

you know the look

the stern one

scolds you too if you get caught up in something real dangerous

only really softens up if you threw yourself in danger for the sake of another person, because i think ragatha would do the same

JAX:

"bet you cant make that jump"

"bet i <> can!"

que you absolutely eating shit after you fail to make that jump, comically flipping over yourself and face planting. you probably have cartoon birds circling around your head. jax laughs at you before eventually coming over to help you up. he will not let you live this kind of stuff, down

KINGER:

he gets so so scared when youre not in his sight, i think if he knew you were willingly throwing yourself into harms way? this man would have a heart attack! like really, or he would if he still had his organs and stuff...if he could he would keep you in his pillow fort with him forever... but he cant, so he has to settle with following you around with meek attempts to try to stop you

ZOOBLE:

zooble would do similar stuff as jax, but when you actually. go to do the dangerous thing they just pull you back. "dude. i wasnt being serious"

bro has to keep you on one of those kid leashes because your first instinct someone says "bet" or "no balls" or anything in that vein, you need to prove yourself

GANGLE:

her comedy mask probably falls off from the sheer shock from how easily you just. launch yourself into things. on one hand she worries for you, but on the other hand she cant help but feel a little jealous; i mean shes just ribbon and a mask, shes not really... tough... strong.. durable... she wants to be able to run around and do the things you do but theres that fear of being immediately broken down or overpowered, you know? didnt mean to get silly there; anyways i think she would try to keep in you bed to sleep off the soreness, like ragatha

[jisvno]

tokyo revengers characters when they see you cry and they comfort you

ft; mikey, kazutora, rindou

genre; partly angst?? with very comfort fluff

tw; mention of abusive parents (kazu), period one (is tw needed? idk but in rindou part)

♡ manjiro 'mikey' sano

it was another hard day. school, people, emotions, everything was overwhelming you today. you thought that at least you would meet your boyfriend in the afternoon, but he already had plans with ken, so you were left alone. comfort series and sweets did nothing good, but they caused you to get a mental breakdown. you started to cry, overloaded with the day and the lack of any happiness today. manjiro finished meeting with the draken, and he promised you that you would meet today, so he came to your place. he knocked on your door a few times but you wouldnt open it for him, being too tearful, so manjiros got a bit confused and he used the spare key you once gave him and went inside. he immediately heard the sound of crying coming from your room, and after a while he appeared there, seeing you all tearful, tears streaming down your face, red cheeks and shaking body. He immediately came over, sitting next to you and lightly stroking your back with his hand. 'what happened, honey?' he whispered, wrapping his arm lightly around your waist and hugging you. 'tell me, ill listen and try to help you..' he said softly, all the while stroking your back and shoulders. you finally calmed down enough to tell him about what a hard and overwhelming day you've had. manjiro listened to you the whole time, wondering how he could help you. when you finished speaking, he cupped your cheeks and wiped away the tears with his thumbs, looking into your eyes. 'i love you so much, you know? You are really strong and i believe that youll be able to overcome this and tomorrow will be better. remember, im here for you' he said, leaning back slightly and laying on the bed on his back, pulling you in and hugging you tightly. you felt his body heat, the smell of his perfume and just closeness and comfort, so after a while you stopped crying completely. manjiro said sweet things to you all the time, complimented you and talked about how much he loves you and how important you are to him. he decided to stay here for the night so you can rest in his arms. he lightly stroked your hair, which made you feel safe and after a tiring day you fall asleep in the arms of your most wonderful boyfriend

♡ kazutora hanemiya

you were just at school, coming out of your math class. you couldnt believe that despite studying for so long, you got another F. you were disappointed in yourself, fact, but the most stressed thing was what your parents would do after discovering your another bad grade. they were strict and always yelled at you for bad grades, they also hit you sometimes, you were afraid of them and thats why you spent so much time studying, which didnt always work. you were stressed that once again they could raise a hand on you for another F, so tears came to your eyes. you saw kazutora, who was walking towards you with a smile, wanting to show you something after the end of the lesson. but you were in bad shape now, so you ran away from him, ran upstairs to an empty auditorium, where you sat in the corner of the room and cried. you curled up, burying your head in your knees and crying silently, stressed out by the grades. kazutora ran after you, and when he saw you, his heart broke. he sat next to you, he didnt touch you, just looked at you. 'hey, what.. what happened?' he said quietly so as not to scare you. all you could whisper was that you got another F. kazutora knew what your parents were like, you told him that, and he saw how stressed and scared you were. he didnt quite know what to do, but he got up, taking your hand and gently pulling it to get you up. he walked out of school with you and put you on his bike, he sat in front of you and off you went. after a while you and him came to an empty place by the river, full of grass and flowers, you could see most of the city from here, it was really quiet and peaceful here. kazutora got off the bike, giving you his hand, and you sat down on the grass together. still not saying anything, he started picking the flowers, making a wreath out of them, and put it on your head, smiling slightly at the sight. 'you look beautiful, darling' he said, placing his hand on your cheek and stroking it with his thumb. 'i cant help people, but remember that im always here, ill always find time for you to sit with you and take your mind off the bad' he said softly, looking into your eyes. you were thankful to him for not continuing the topic. you two sat on the grass for a while, and then he took you on a bike ride around the city, and finally he took you to his house, where he made you stay the night, where you watched cartoons and laughed all night. you were very happy that you have such a great boyfriend who will always help you take your mind off the bad things

♡ rindou haitani

you were just at your boyfriends house when you felt you had to go to the bathroom. you just got your period, so you use your pad and went back to his room. rindou was sitting at his desk, looking on the computer for something he wanted to show you, and you sat on the bed. suddenly you felt very painful cramps, that you lay down, slightly cringing from the pain. it was so strong that after a while tears flowed from your eyes and you cried silently, unable to bear the pain. when rindou heard your cry, he immediately turned to look at you. 'baby, why are you crying?' he asked softly, and when you told him that you had just gotten your period and were having terrible cramps, he got up, took some painkillers from the cupboard and gave you along with water, then lay down next to you, hugging you tight from behind and stroking your belly with his warm hands. it helped you so much, just his warmness and closeness. he started telling you a story about another 'dumb' thing that ran did, and how stupid he is, because we all know that rins favourite thing to do is teasing ran. after a while the medicine kicked in and you felt a little better and rindou kissed your hair. 'i dont like it when you cry, it makes you look ugly. you look prettier when you smile or laugh,' he said, and immediately had an idea of ​​how to make you feel better. yes, you spent the rest of the evening teasing and arguing with poor ran, who tried to defend himself, but it was 2vs1 battle so he was loosing, which of course kept a smile on your face, you were really grateful to your boyfriend for being there for you and rindou was pleased with himself that his favorite activity gives you a lot of pleasure too

~ vani's note

first writing here! im not very proud of it, but i guess its not that bad, hope that youll like it! you can request your things, and please tell me if something was bad or just tell me your thought about it!

see you next time!

~vani ♡

[mightntbethebest]

Because I have the plague, here's some sick headcanons for the KF cast. I forgot a few characters but yk. I'm dying like George. [Under the cut so it doesn't fill your whole dash:]]

[You can tell when I got a migraine writing this lmao]

Forrest :

+ Bro is miserable. Just miserable. Even worse because he's older.

+ Nasally voice, but it sounds like he's twenty again, like, his voice is higher. Mine does that idk.

+ Constantly coughing once he goes off air from trying to sound normal, apologizes so much. Peggy makes fun of him.

Peggy! :

> Sopping wet cat face 23/7. Not even on purpose, her resting face is just a sad wet cat. Doing a customer service / work place credibility smile is hard when sick yk?

> Gets the sniffles somethin God awful. Tissues become her best friend [Sorry Karen]

> Really glad she doesn't have to do a lot of talking like Forrest does, it would drive her insane.

Marie :] :

- She doesn't even notice. Like she's inmune to getting sick for some magical reason? That or she's just really good at hiding it.

- She does get migraines though. Permanent knit brow. Unintentional glares good enough to rival her son's.

- Actually takes some sort of home medicine or remedy to help herself as soon as possible. She doesn't have time to be sick.

Henry! :

• Sopping wet cat face 2.0. Gets it from both parents. He just wants his mom:[

• Doesn't actually like to get help, figures he can do enough on his own--Marie does NOT let that slide. Not for her son.

• Literally just. So pouty. Hates getting sick.

George :] :

= Sopping wet cat 3.0. Absolutely miserable because Marie makes him stay in bed to relax.

= Staying in bed is something he is not good at. Can and has been caught doing chores around the place when he was supposed to be sleeping.

= Gets uber pouty when he can't go to non required events. Like, how dare they keep him bedridden for his own health. >:[.

Roller Ricky <3:

< Max is there to help, but when be gets sick he gets SICK, y'know?

< Maxy appreciates all the love he gets from Ricky hough. He spends a lot of his time resting to heal up, and when he gets a break between flares, he practices roller disco dances.

< Takes his free time seriously, and spends it doing self care to actually help his illness.

Carrie ! :

- Pissed that she still has to go to school. Gets to see Jeanie and Hot David though.

- Definitely does not go to bed on her usual time. Either crashes out early or is up till 3. No in-between.

- Gets her friends sick and feels REALLY bad about it. But at least if it gets to enough students then they can have a day off :]

Murphy ‼️:

- The best at home remedies a man coukd ask for. Definitely seems the time to take his good health seriously. Especially after Fernando was born.

- If he got Fernando sick he'd feel terrible about it, but give that baby the BEST care possible.

- Takes his time to rest and recuperate before doing anything he was able to put off. Likely watching TV or listening to The Scream.

Dr. Virginia Sullivan :] :

- Strangely enough, she puts her own health on the back burner. Out of habit and due to her sister's health.

- But when she can, she takes small steps to feel better when needed. She can't go into work sick after all.

- Her free time is spent on comfortable self care.

Maurice ';{ :

- Dude for the love of God please realize that you are in fact sick. Take a day off. It will be fine.

- Ignores his illness out of spite. It was just the way he grew up more than likely.

- His coworkers do as much as they can to keep him corralled in his main office though, so it doesn't spread.

Eugene B} :

- Takes a day off of school so he doesn't get anyone else sick. He cares about his class mates :]

- Spends his free time catching up on work, shows, or books.

- If he can, he'll phone friend to talk to after school hours.

Sandra :

- Another one who cares about her physical health. If it's bad enough she can't jazzercise, she does yoga to help anything physical. Even if it's just stretching to make her feel better.

- Keeps the studio closed and clean so no one else gets sick.

- Takes showerd hot enough to turn her into a lobster for the night.

Casey :

- Actually goes to the doctor. I feel like after what happened with Jason, she'd be a little more concerned about how to help someones health--And that includes her own!

- Goes on morning walks to feel a little better, especially if it's in the winter.

- If she feels up to it, she might do some singing:] I think she'd have a wonderful singing voice. Plus, it'd help with any congestion I've learned.

Jason :

- He definitely didn't care too much before WN87, but afterwards it became a mandatory thing for him to get himself checked out. He's kinda paranoid.

- Phones Casey or Chuck when he's got the time and feels a little better. If neither are available, he'll watch some TV and order a light dinner.

- Takes his down time to catch up on any sports or events.

[anothd]

Tw. Suicide mentioned; calories and ed mentioned

Guess who isn't feeling good and have the biggest stress of life since i got sa'd? YES, MY DUMP ASS! THIS IDIOT OVER HERE. I feel dump, my head is dizzy and fuzzy cause of all this stress. I don't know anymore what to feel, except it's stressful. Maybe i feel worried? Or betrayed? Maybe just sad? Or angry? I don't really know and probably won't know. I'm just tired for now and don't wanna to worry them anymore, yet I know I can't continue living like this. For the whole night i slept not even 3h and woke up scared. Just like i had some nightmare I don't remember anymore. I need to focus on myself cause grandma noticed I slightly tremble. I want to cry and yell for attention and help. Yet I can't. I think I'll go buy some snacks today. I maybe want to loose some weight again and it wont help. Hell with how much i was pissed off when i noticed i ate more than 500 kcal in a day I know it'll sabotage all my progress. Yet maybe something tasty and sweet will help me to calm down. Maybe not chocolate, but an sweet candy soda (if ill get it at my village shop lol. If not then probably monster or black) and crisps. Ngl want to smoke badly, but everyone home so can't. Probably will smoke at night. It helps me to calm down. Maybe I'll buy beer and get drunk again? Last time wasnt good, but at least I wont remember it well again too. I need to calm down. I can't talk now, cause everyone have their problems and is busy, but when we all will ve ready I can't let my emotions control me too much. And now to focus on not puking or loosing consciousness around anyone. I'm so used to the second one i already can feel signs before, so I know I'm close. And well i guess puking in stress like this is common, especially it happened to me once. But oh well, don't want to worry my family. The biggest problem is that I know one of them reads this blog from time to time when worried. I mean i gave them info to check on me if something is wrong. I wanted them to check if they are worried. But not for them to lie they never checked and then send ss and talk about it behind my back. I hoped for confronatation even tho i hate em. I thought if they worry and see something is wrong and they decide to check they'll tell me. That was litteraly the only reason they got the faken info. It was a bad idea. Now idk if I even can trust them? Eh... I already was overstressed and tired from all this fatigue and couldn't do a shit, but oh well my fault. I won't annoy others anymore, i have plan to end it all. But now I'm also worried I'll act like a coward and won't do it. At least before i can do it i have whole week ahead. So I can change my mind, cause won't lie i decided on this way to fast. It will be place withiut much internet (mountains) and I'll only be able to use it in tourist spots and mountain shelters. But if next week after wednesday I won't make any post know I'm not here with you. Or fucking failed and in hospital. I hope they won't see it, and they wont talk about it behind my back and all.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Dazai?

Eheh Dazai

Favorite thing about them: I really like how as a character he was able to deeply touch so many people!! Seeing so many people finding relief in being able to relate to and emphasize with the character makes me happy.

Least favorite thing about them: I mean, his personality? I don't like how his many flaws are written to be interpreted as strong points / good traits for his character to the point no flaw is actually a flaw, it makes the reading experience very frustrating for me.

Favorite line:

brOTP: Mmmmhh, I don't spend a lot of time thinking about Dazai. Soukoku, probably. The Buraiha trio makes me emotional a little. Souheki, but in a very passive-aggressive, over-competitive, one-sided rivality, can't-stand-each-other way. Dazai and Kyouka. Dazai and Atsushi too I suppose, though I prefer them romantically. I think he makes for a lot of interesting dynamics with virtually all the characters, but none compells me in particular tbh.

OTP: Odazai is plain canon to me, idk what to tell you. I think they make for a beautiful, tragic love story. Get you a man who is willing to change the path of his whole life for another man just like that, nobody does it like them (actually, wait, I can think of another man... ). Although I always distantly liked them, dazatsu has grown on me like, an INSANE amount in the last few months. I'm not sure what happened. I think it was an unfortunate (lol) coincidence of growing a little fonder of Dazai and just wanting to give more space and agenda to Atsushi. Like to me a lot of what dazatsu is really is about giving Atsushi more agency and autonomy and independence and overall just respecting him as a complex, full fleshed out character. I don't see ANY kind of power imbalance in it I keep finding people talk about. Dazai pushes Atsushi to be better every day, and Atsushi does exactly the same for Dazai. Atsushi admires and respects Dazai, and Dazai admires and respects Atsushi equally. I really don't know why the ship isn't more popular and instead just gets discarded most of the time tbh. I feel like everyone should sit down a second and actually give Atsushi the dignity to choose for himself. And fyozai!!! The investment in this ship mostly goes on waves for me but despite that I firmly believe that they really make for an engaging and interesting dynamic to be interpreted romantically. The epitome of “You're both just enabling each other's mental illnesses. You're both perfect for each other. Never change. Just never involve anybody else in what you've got going on.”

nOTP: Nothing comes to my mind.

Random headcanon: Not canon related, but in modern aus I feel like he'd be one to always end up working at ceo roles and he would HATE it. He fires himself and starts working at some cheap frozen yogurt place and one month later he'll find himself as the ceo of the most important oil company of the country AGAIN without him even realizing it / despite his active efforts to avoid that. And he HATES IT. He fires himself again but the loop only repeats forever. He's just that kind of person for whom all doors open automatically.

Unpopular opinion: ............ I could be here forever. I regretfully fail to relate to a lot of characterization / readings of the character I've seen the fandom give him. I really don't want to dwell on this so I'll just mention something mostly unrelated to his characterization: I wholly can't share the take of him being physically built like??? At all??? Which got REALLY popular a few months ago. Dude feels like he never lifted a finger his whole life, I really don't know where the idea comes from???? And I personally don't take his manga visual portrayal as a telling factor for this; pretty much all the characters have the same body type, it's impossible for me to base the buff Dazai assumption on how he's drawn in the manga. Just one thing about his chracter though stop making him matchmaker for ss/kk he really isn't stop don't do it please

Song i associate with them: HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE associating him with my favourite vocaloid song ever but. Meltdown by iroha is a very Dazai song. So many other songs though... Parade of Liars by ryo. Abstract Nonsense by Neru. God-ish by Pinocchio-P. So on and so forth.

Favorite picture of them:

Favourite panel from the manga:

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[gamora-borealis]

incoming rant about discussions about diet culture & body positivity i've seen online (for context, I am a fat person):

I really do appreciate people who spread body positivity and dispell myths about bmi and diet culture, but seeing people be like "well if you are craving a food that probably means your body need it!" has me a bit... concerned? like I respect the sentiment. I really do. we don't need to feel shame about what we eat. however, some of us have adhd, messed up gut microbiomes, binge eating disorder, and/or metabolic issues. like sometimes I need to tough it out and not give in to my cravings because if not I might throw up, pass out, or feel physically sick.

like, another example, I have PCOS and a lot of chronic pain. diet culture in terms of like, obsessing over calories or thinking you can't have any of a certain food is not good. however, my doctor gave me an anti-inflammatory diet plan, which is basically a packet that says "these are kinds of foods/ingredients that tend to increase inflammation in people who have PCOS or other inflammatory issues, so try to avoid these if possible" and when I do follow it I absolutely feel better than when I'm constantly eating the food that is feeding my adhd dopamine cravings. adderall sometimes helps with my ADHD binge eating, but when I ran out of it for a month because of shortages, my eating got out of control and now my gut and brain are having a really hard time adjusting back to where I was (not to mention my ADHD causes me to forget to take my Adderall a lot too 🤦‍♀️).

like, there are lots of foods being marketed to us constantly that really aren't that great for us. not that they are necessarily dangerous, but they are being made to taste as good as possible so you'll keep buying them, by corporations that do not have your health in mind. and like. if you eat "unhealthy" all the time and give into your cravings, that's okay! it's completely understandable. food is good and fun and sometimes your body does need certain things! plus sometimes the "healthier" food is wayyy more expensive or hard to make. but I just think we need to be careful making blanket statements about food when certain foods are more harmful to some of us.

like, again, we shouldn't feel shame about food or being "fat." there are fat people out there who are very healthy! however, some of us who are fat have chronic illnesses or disorders that are tied to weight gain. now, tbh our goal shouldn't be to manage our chronic illnesses or disorders so that we'll be "skinnier," the goal should be to try and manage our illnesses (as much as one is able) for the sake of our health/wellbeing. unfortunately, a lot of doctors tie weight to health, and say "oh you're losing weight the treatment plan is working!" when that really shouldn't be the indicator, or at least the sole indicator, that a treatment for a chronic illness or disorder is working. we should change that mindset. (there's so much more one could say about fatphobia in the medical field tbh).

Idk, I'm just very literal and don't like blanket statements made online without a lot of nuance or backing. I feel like there's a middle ground between obsessing over weight and dieting and encouraging people to eat whatever they want without taking other health factors into consideration.

like, even though I'm prediabetic and struggle with inflammation, I still eat sugar and carbs. but I try not to over-do it if I can (some days I just don't have the impulse control and that's alright). for example, I buy dairy-free ice cream sandwiches that have 9 grams of sugar (very low compared to most ice creams treats) and real fruit frozen pops (that have natural sugars) because my brain is always craving sugar. but they aren't as sugary as some of the other stuff out there and don't have the dairy or dyes that trigger my inflammation. I also love bagels so I eat these really yummy protein bagels. they probably have more carbs than I really need, but if I'm gonna eat a bagel for that sweet sweet dopamine hit, at least they are organic whole wheat (which is better) and the protein helps keep me full for longer. it takes research sometimes, but it can be helpful to find a middle ground between your cravings and "healthy eating" especially when you have a chronic illness or disorder you are trying to manage. but if you are struggling to find that middle ground and are just eating "unhealthy" a lot, you aren't any lesser for it. Or even if you just, never chose to try and eat "healthier," you aren't lesser for that either. you still deserve respect. we shouldn't change our diets because of judgement from others. I feel like that should be the ultimate goal of body positivity/anti-diet culture discussions.