#i couldnt explain how i figure out how to do smth but the creativity of it is mmmmmm. i rly miss being artistically creative like i havent
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#soooo tired.. today was a lot of fun (outdoor boulderiny yayy) but also a LOT I was out literally 9-5. full work day#did some cool stuff tho.... harder stuff than i thought i was capable of n got the beta on a couple challenges that no one else did#actually got one that the instructor hadnt managed to do before which made me feel B-)#i just love problem solving routes like ik my technical knowledge is sometimes lacking but i have a good innate sense for it#i couldnt explain how i figure out how to do smth but the creativity of it is mmmmmm. i rly miss being artistically creative like i havent#really done much for a while but i guess climbing is currently a bit of an outlet for that for me like its a similar kind of stimulation#and i like coming up w beta n then watching someone else use the same. nothing better than a team send#might look into some low level instructor quals next year. or taking courses bc id love to know more technical shit#or at least be able to name technique i instinctively use so i can describe things better#anyway think my roommate might be annoyed at me but idk its probably nothing to do with me. been finding it so hard to read her lately#but might just be projecting. ive felt lonely lately so maybe im imagining distance between myself + others that others dont rly perceive#bc ik i have a habit of that sometimes. i dont knooow. but thats ok. we're all just trying to get by#and maybe ill have my needs met someday and be able to express myself and ill stop feeling so alone in tha world....#anywayyyy gotta shower and then ill watch smth...... feels so much later than it is im so sleepyyy#.diaries
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