#idk if i'll take time off so Yeah
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i sound like a masochist here but i cant wait to work the holiday period. sure, might get shitty customers but driving to and from work is so NICE during this period
#idk if i'll take time off so Yeah#there's a lot of ppl planning to take xmas off so i will most likely work that period again#i wanna get xmas day off though. there's no point in 'working' on that day#it's so dead on that day apparently so. Yeah. Lol.#but yah driving to work in the morning is a pain in the neck#i absolutely hate it#i hate the amount of LED lights cars have now#i hate how dark it is in the mornings when daylight savings ends? starts? Idfk lmfao I hate the darkness#the morning sunrises are fucking gorgeous and i am looking forward to seeing them again
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tonight i'm gonna fall asleep and tonight i WILL dream about horrordust if i have anything to say about it,,,, i'm horrordustpilled they're everything to me right now. forever thinking about gshaewru's art of my hc,,,
the reluctant besties that they are. the assholes that they are. killer you should commit a koukatsu by maretu and kill their asses "you will never return here and the dead will not either"
#i have so much to say about how koukatsu is murder time trio coded#but anyways that's a seperate post for a seperate tine#EDUAGHGGG!!!! i cant believe i technically gave both dust and horror mourning wear in my designs#i just thought that horror's little cloak would be something stolen from undyne.....#but it can also be mourning wear like dust's cloak too!!! theyre mourning the past!!!! mourning what was lost!!!!!#i dont know where this came from but i saw some people say that dust wants to seperate himself from sans or something#or that he doesn't like the fact that he's sans#but idk to me it kinda seemed more like he just didn't like his inaction back then#but smh didnt you literally like how things were back then?? and ALSO is your form of action really the best possible choice???#i dont know dust's whole thing is being hypocritical but still!!! i dont think he'd try to seperate himself from classic#if he didn't want to cling onto the remnants of sans then why does he so enthusiastically and openly talk to phantom papyrus#killer is RIGHT THERE he's a REAL character that wants to be seperate from sans..... and you see how that works out for him#yeah the trio's awesome. the amount of parallels they have kills me#the more horrordust i come up with the more reasons i give killer to hate these 2#the mutual hate never stops :3#the kitsune the bunny and the pig. killer dust and horror#UGH koukatsu is SO trio coded..... i need to do another songs that remind me of the mtt but this time with better elaboration#I must Rest. It is 12 am. I have school. This week is Thanksgiving break Thankfully#hahaha take THAT non americans..... i get this day off and you dont :3333#tricule rant#hiding all of the horrordust content i have in my drafts rn but soon i'll unleash the beasts
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oh no. I did too much today, which means I walked or stood up all day. and we're going to a concert tomorrow.... I'm very worried that my feet won't like it 😭
#I mean they definitely won't like it#my feet hate everything 😔 they always hurt. a lot. so tomorrow will be extra bad.#but it's fine. it's fine. it's outdoors. and the website said there's places you can sit by the side. so. either that or I'll have to find a#spot on the grass. I don't care I just can't stand for that long#I don't even wanna go to be honest 😭 it's so stressful 😭 I'm not that scared this time but it's gonna be so exhausting#and yeah okay I am scared#but it's toto 🥺 I did it last time. and yeah it was very hard and scary but it was also pretty good#ugh idk I'm just super tired and exhausted and very very sweaty right now so it feels worse I guess#hopefully I'll be excited tomorrow 😬#now.. I'm gonna go play the sims 2 to take my mind off it#personal
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anyone else out here a middle child saddled with eldest daughter responsibilities?
#a bumper sticker that says 'middle-child neglect and eldest-child duties'#i want to believe it started when my older sister moved out but. lets be real. it's always been me.#i am genuinely acting care-giver to my chronically ill younger sister while my dad watches basketball on the couch#and my mom doesnt get out of bed.#like. my mom is pretty sick too and works all day and does most of the housekeeping too#so i dont blame her at all.#i mean i guess my dad works all day but. for real king you can't get up off the couch to support your daughter crying and heaving#no that falls to me. yeah yeah I'll get her a drink and make sure she takes her meds.#what's that? yeah I'll rub her back and run a cloth under the sink and bring her something to eat too.#oh? yes fine I wont take a gummy so i wont sleep because she's in a flare up and needs them more than me#to be clear!! I'm not blaming her either like clearly she feels like shit and she feels guilty all the time#i just. some amount of help from anyone else. or at least maybe. idk A DAY I can rest when i feel like shit#but oh- no- she's coughing up bile again. yep I'll come bring a bucket.
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TBH the best case scenarios in my mind for Fit's lore ending on Thursday are either:
Madagio has mercy. They know what it's like to lose everyone they love, and seeing what's happening on Quesadilla Island is just a reminder of everything they loved and lost. Madagio releases Fit, and he reunites with Pac e Mike and Richarlyson, and they're all able to leave Quesadilla Island.
Or:
Madagio and Fit destroy the Federation together. Fit goes full 2B2T mode and there's nothing left of the Federation once they're finished. Madagio and Fit finally have their revenge. (And then maybe Fit can reunite with Pac + all his loved ones and they escape the Island, or reclaim the island for their own since the Federation no longer has any power over them).
Bonus: A very unlikely but "Wouldn't it be fun?" scenario would be Pac and Mike flying down on a fully-grown dragon Richas and rescuing Fit from Vacuus Island and they fly away and live happily ever after.
#i talk#qsmp talk#Genuinely need a vacation after the past two weeks (or however long it's been)#I keep seeing people say ''the best case scenario is Fit dying lol'' and I clearly care WAY too much because seeing that made me legit mad#Did my whole ''lmao ok let's calm down and take a walk'' and went out for a few hours only to come back and be like#''no actually I'm still mad. This entire situation sucks.''#I think this will probably be the last mcyt type series I let myself get invested in. I'm so exhausted of being disappointed#and the constant angst the fandom churns out#I wanna be able to love things without getting burned#I've got enough things to be sad over irl I don't want my escapism series making me sad too#Worst case scenario for me is Fit dying or him getting trapped in 2b2t again#and/or him saying q!Pac is dead#I'll be honest: CCs killing off their character feels like a betrayal to the people who have spent so much time loving them#and like yeah there probably ARE ways to do it well#but it's like. why would you choose that option there are so many better options#negative#idk man I'm just frustrated by this whole thing#all the untagged suicide jokes are making me frustrated too
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Is it possible to still like a character but dislike/feel iffy about their canon relationship/portrayal?
#Percabeth shippers pls dont come at me#I like annabeth ok#I just feel weird reading the books and how she's portayed at times#I dont want to be jumped#I just think they both need to grow more as people themselves before getting into a relationship#theyre kids who never had a chance being kids#and theres healthier ways to show affection and it was cute when I was younger but rereading the books now just fills me up with dread#i just think they both need therapy first#gods i feel like a sniper is aiming at my head#just to reiterate: I like Annabeth#but not Percabeth#I don't like any of the ships in general tbf#like the part where they talk about what Percy will do for college while in Tartarus#that one was sweet#judo flip and all the “punching” was unnecessary#And the canonically lowering his self esteem#and the healthy dose of fear in that one kane book i forgot the name of#and why can't the “punch” be a playful “nudge” instead?#Idk I just see myself in Annabeth a lot but when I see how she's portrayed w her actions I'm horrified#because it takes a lot of hurt to be gentle and ik Annabeth is a sweetheart at her core#Cerberus in book 1 Her dream to be w her family in book 2 so on and so forth#like shes strong and soft at the same time but why is the soft part not that shown? Thats part of her complexity#gods i love annabeth chase#but Percabeth????#There's a lot of good fandom written percabeth#but canon Percabeth????#I wish that sometimes her character was written about more instead of just being a generic stronk female lead#yeah i said it#she's more of a strong female romantic character than “Annabeth Chase” herself#better off as friends and I'll die on this hill
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Lads i have Fucked Up Big Time
#somehow I just. Fuckin. Forgot. That if I wanna switch my major that I have to do a bunch if shit#and I missed the deadline for it because I didn't realize that I needed to do it and also forgot to reach out about it until WAY too late#so now I can't do anything until the spring#which is also bad because I don't know what the fuck my class schedule should be!!!!!!!#advisor told me that I can talk to her after the enrollment period and schedule a meeting and we can figure out what I'm doing from there#but like. ouggggggghhg#Im so worried there's gonna be some fuckup with my schedule and I won't be able to register for enough classes to be a full time student#which would be so bad#idk should I just wait until AFTER the enrollment period??? and just have no classes???#I'm gonna try and register for a few classes so I at the very least have Something in my schedule#mainly ones for my current (old) major and a few of the new classes#because multiple classes that I need to take I can Only take them IF I'm enrolled in that major. Which I'm currently not because I'm stupid#im just stressed now and unfortunately there isn't much i can do 🥰#i don't even know which classes I should be trying to take. I can GUESS but like who the fuck knows#so i can't even try and plan out a potential schedule i just get to sit on my ass and stress#sighh. im gonna try to not think about it bc its gonna stress me out#on one hand it's tempting to blame like. idk. literally every adult i talked to because none of them actually told me#“Hey btw you actually need to go to this office and fill out this paperwork and submit it by a due date”#they were just like yeah okay u can take some classes. and then we'll figure it out later#like. i would have gone and done the shit if I knew I needed to do iT!!!!#but also I should have sat down and looked more into it to so#bleughhhhhhhh#I'm just stressed. and annoyed. at myself mainly because like. duh of course I'd have to go fill out paperwork but I just was like#“Yeah I'll talk to my advisor later” and kept pushing shit off until it was too late <3#idk man im. so tired#hopefully it'll all work out okay and fine and i won't have the shittiest schedule on earth next semester#and hopefully the classes i need won't fill up!!!! :))))))#ahahahahahsh#im fucked man#lilac post
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sorry for the lack of posts! ive been hit with some art block, so i've been focusing a little more on personal things to make sure that the things you guys get are high(ish) quality :3
#crow chirps#not art#also im letting my blog cool off a little and hoping That One Guy forgets i existed#he reblogged smth from me but i blocked him so idk how the fuck he managed that one#im unsettled yet impressed#anyways#ive gotten myself a sketchbook and some paint markers and a dip ink pen :) so ive been like#experimenting with those!!!#but yeah my brain is just out of juice for the kids BUT i'll pick them up as soon as i can ❤️#the joy of not being paid for this is that i dont have to be scared if i take a long time LMFAO
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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.
But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.
#speculation nation#and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it#then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day#just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them#but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else#and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself#and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao#why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc#honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year#and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this#bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.
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some game design thinky thoughts.
#it speaks#da gameplay complaints so weird to me. which i say as someone whose favorite combat was origins.#i mean 1 like i just enjoy a lot of different types of games. including crpg style tactical and including action#and inclulding me style arpg#but fr like people just keep saying over and over 'only three abilities???????????' like bro did u know in dai#that one of the warrior abilities was COMBAT ROLL.#a lot of things like that were previously abiliities and can in real time combat become different kinds of mechanics#and lemme say as someone who never invests in combat roll i spend a lot of time in dai fighting dragons by fruitlessly jumping in the hope#that THIS time i might be able to dodge the incoming attack i can clearly see coming (i can't)#idk like the point is obv if you don't like action-oriented combat whatever but complaining about design changes which actually serve#to make GOOD action-oriented combat is wild to me.#love that it's still rtwp my beloved. love giving commands to followers. love that it's built around synergies and that the wheel actually#tells you things like detonation combos and enemy resistances because i love taking advantage of stuff like that but find often in games#that information is overly obscured or a hassle to discover#and if i in real time action combat had 20 different abilities to choose from while still needing to dodge out of the way and pop off#an attack- that would be at worst overwhelming and distracting and at best feel like more than i need.#and at the same time! the skill tree looks great. best i've seen from da (and iterated from other franchises well imo) and still looks#plenty deep and customizable. way more than me's five little blocks or whatever#and wrt to party control yeah i'll miss it i like it a lot!#but again for this style of combat i literally don't think you need it and that's okay!#the game feeling better for what it is is okay!#even in dai like i have a lot of moments in that game where it's actually more a nuisance than anything else to fully switch control#to use an ability. e.g. i usually spec solas out with spirit magic and i almost always will fully enter the tactical cam just to#tell him to cast a barrier. or a revive. or dispel some demons before they spawn in#like i'm literally already just telling him to use abilities and then i switch back to me. and in that game there are def times where i hav#thought yeah this would actually be smoother if i could just tell him to use it +position it!#i spend the most time party switching in origins esp on higher difficulties but obv the game is most fine tuned for that#and you can play through the entire series as if it were an arpg if you want. that's what i did when i was a kid lmfao#well anyways. that's my two cents! i think it'll be really engaging! from what i've seen the game director isn't talking out of her ass!#vir dirthera
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hope you're all liking the epilogue and that you enjoyed the whole series in general. thank you for giving it so much love and support. can't wait to share more 🤍
#i'll be completely honest#you guys n the love you give are the reason why i'm still here#bc there are days and weeks when i.... don'tenjoytumblranymore#it's not bc of interaction or anything bc my god you guys talk to me so much ily :(#but tumblr has changed... the bts fandom has changed. the dash is literally EMPTY#it feels so different from when i joined back early 2021... everyone was so happy and loud back then#and so enthusiastic about writing too... like i still fkn love writing all i write#but the level of excitement about writing has changed.. it's why i try to take it slower these days#my god i used to have a schedule lmao could never today 💀#but yeah idk... sometimes im like... this isn't fun anymore and maybe it's time to give up#but that's exactly when y'all come thru and say something SUPER SWEET and i'm like.. wait ykw#i love this space.. it's still comfort and warmth#so yeah thank you for giving me hope and keeping me here you mean so much to me#the platform changes and sucks sometimes but you guys remain here and are as fucking kind as ever and#make this little community irreplaceable#i love you#and yeah. i just needed to get this off my chest bc it has been on my mind for rlly long#especially since those community labels butchered and changed interaction :/ like i just know the c&f family could've been#a lot bigger if not for the label on pt1.. could've really been one of the biggest stories around here but lol it is what it is !! the love#is overwhelming as it is so thank you <3#okay that's way too long pls ignore me bye#tdl???
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i'm so bummed i accidentally turned town a job interview for a job where I could have worked with a good friend and mentor 😔
#i was telling her abt the preschool i got hired at and i was like yeah im worried bc the other teacher doesn't seem nice#and the student teacher ratio is really bad they're really understaffed and underfunded im just really worried it will be too much for me#and she was like oh you should apply to the school i work at bc we're hiring snd the ratio is great and the pay might be better also#and i never knew the name of the school she worked at until then#and its one i DID apply to but i told them nevermind after this one hired me 😬#but now i really wish i'd taken that interview#i'm going to call or email first thing on monday tho and hopefullyyy i can get in for an interview before i start my new job on thursday#so i wont literally have to take time off for it#and then if they offer me i will be able to tell the new job nevermind while its still early#either that or i'll try to stick it out a few months then apply to the other one for summer or something#but im not sure whether its best to quit immediately or let them think im dependable and staying then leave in three months lol#but mostly for the other job idk if it would ruin the opportunity to tell them nevermind i want the job a week after i said no#compared to a few months later#they might have forgotten me by then which would probably be good#idkkk#my first reference literally works there which will hopefully help and maybe they'll give me a break#the pay scale looks the same as the one i just accepted but i think they'll offer less bc they're not as desperate#but i literally dont care its such a better working environment#and the pay scale is the same so they would give me a raise after a few months#and the work will be so much easier#and the commute#and i Definitely know i can work with my friend#vs the co teacher at this new job who seems really intense and unfriendly#anyway!!#im really anxious abt this new job and i'll stay if the other place wont take me now#but i really hope they give me another chance#also its super close and easy drive and the commute for the other one scares me a bit lol#this has been a shitpost
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Okay okay so. Thinking.
I've mapped out how I want to pay off my credit cards, which means I'll only be getting new stuff pretty sporadically, which means I need to appreciate the zero cost things in my life, like:
- the 2.5 foot tall stack of unread books I have
- the violin I might finally actually pick up again
- the 500+ drawing prompts I've been hoarding
- the list of anime I still need to watch
- the 3000+ songs in my watch later playlist
- the stickers I've been neglecting to cut
- yarn??? I have a lot of yarn
- all the pink fabric leftover from moth cosplay
- the candles and incense I also already have
In short, time to actually use the stuff that I have 😭
#though. i do want one more candle. they're putting minty smells in the winter ones and it smells cold#i need a cold smelling candle that is warm and on fire i just need that very strange contrast#but yeah!! will spend a little testing out acrylic charms but for the most part#we're gonna hang out at home for a while and express gratitude or whatever lmao#okay but i think it will actually be nice to start getting through all those books skjfkdkd#and to watch the bigger name anime to actually see them lmao; saw a lot at the con i recognized but hadn't actually watched#and also my music!! all my music bc i am clinically insane about music; miku playlist advancement...#this isn't even touching on the games i have now ksjfkf if either of you are reading this 👀 i still wanna get yall something#and I'm planning the exact day i wanna do it 😤#but yeah I'm thinking it over and am like. oh boy time for self improvement skjdkfkf#also finances will get easier bc im not ubering all over and I'm not seeing docs for my stomach now that the ulcer has been resolved#i made back half of what i spent getting the car in only 4 months and that feels good to see#it's still gonna be some hard work but we're gonna make it; I'm also highballing one of the cards#the hotel put a damages hold on my card and my math factors that in; they said that money would go back to me in 5 or so#business days so that'll be a little less to be concerned with; I'll still try to pay what numbers i found though#do it faster and do it better and idk what the fuck I'll do with the cards bc. 30% apr...........#idk i could get groceries with them and then pay them off? take that credit score you'll just eat that shit up won't you..#surprisingly my credit score hasn't taken any super ugly hits from this and i aim to keep it that way lmao#anyways. that's a lot of words to say that i want to actually use my stuff lmao#shai speaks
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hello can nick and i get married yet just asking for a friend
#he's the weirdest dude but he's so fucking patient with me#i need someone patient and stable to ride the emotional waves with me until i get better at self regulating#so far i'm getting really good at telling him that i need a minute or i'm going to be mean and passive aggressive#so then he gives me a minute and i regroup and then can speak rationally#which is GREAT for me who was once so brutally cruel instinctively#anyway by patient and stable i didn't mean he's my punching bag#i just meant that he doesn't match my extreme emotions (he will match excitement and happiness) and thus provides a baseline#like he stays steady so when i'm upset or mad he'll ask why and i break it down and by the time it's broken down i'm like... okay#so there was no reason to be upset#and we talk about impact vs intent all the time like sometimes he a lil weird in talking so it comes off bad#but yeah he's just really stable and so it's easy to bring myself back if no one is hyping me up#and whenever i'm irritated with him i'll still call his ass and put myself on mute and fall asleep with him on the phone#he's very good at calling me out too (he's also great at taking accountability if he does something)#like one time he showed me a video and i only watched a sec before jumping down his throat#and he called me out and i apologized and redirected and all#one time he had an attitude (when I was upset) and i was like dude what's with the tone#he's also good at like... idk what to call it#but he told me during one of those times when i was upset that it wasn't fair to him to say no but then expect him to do it anyway#because how was he supposed to know when to listen to me and when to not? it was a no win for him and it wasn't fair#and you know what? he was so correct and true for it#i apologized for that too#anyway. when can i marry him.#nick
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another shit fucking day but in the most casual way possible bc all i did was sulk study cry study sulk and finally, sulk in the shower. chai next and then bed . fuck my stupid baka life forrealsies
#i almost had an argument w my mother over nothing at one point bc i was so anxious about nothing and everything at once and well#i keep thinking. idk what im doing anything for anymore#like when we were arguing i was like wait what if she brings up how shes giving me a ride to uni multiple times this week#and then i was like wait if she says that. I'll just tell her not to. and then ill skip class. and then ill drop my classes and get a refund#and then ill drop out of uni. and then ill kill myself!#mind you i was thinking about all of this and the argument didnt even go in that direction in the end bc it was over very quickly#ljke. what ks wrong with me#i keep thinking that if my parents get pissed at me for being good for nothing despite me trying my hardest not to be#i really will end it all finally like Actually#bc i dont understand anymore. why are they paying for my stupid medication and tuition#theyre too nice to me#i know they expect me to send them money in their ideal imagined scenario in which i get a good job after getting a masters degree#and i know they expect that I'll take care of them when theyre old bc in their ideal. imagined. scenario. i 1) dont off myself in the next#few years 2) am not a lesbian who ruins the whole family dynamic by coming out and 3) get a well paying job and a husband#so. so yeah#but right NOW theyre nice to me and they take care of me but also i think everything is pointless but i try anyway because they take care#of me and they want me to be well but how am i supposed to be Get Well if i don't believe in myself#like i dont think thats possible really.#maybe a tiny bit? like maybe i won't be Well but i can be better. yeah i can do that#so i guess thats why im still trying#but then it's like. being Better is so. marginally different from being at rock bottom in a way#like yeah its significant improvement clinically but to me it's still casually miserable in its own unique way bc it's better but its still#very much present lingering choking me etc#so that brings me to the following:#im trying so hard but for what exactly? 'just keep going!' but at what cost? but why when im still like this?#z.post
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going to cry because i am worried i won't finish all the crochet gifts in time :''")
#okay wait time to decide on a vent tag sjdkskl UHHHHH#can i just... tag it with ... ''vent //'' or is that annoying to add to a the tumblr filtering system fhdkdl#thats how old school tumblr cw/tw tagging worked fjdkl they'd just put slashes in so thats what im used to#vent //#we'll go with that ig? lmk if that doesnt work for anybody for any reason and u want smth else and I'll accomodate!!!#okay. um. anyways yeah idk fjdkdl i have been crocheting pretty much all day? i havent done anything else other than eat meals fjdksl#just... crocheting. my wrist hurts sm fjfkdl#i would still be crocheting but after messing up three times on this wing and frogging it all the way back i gave uo#up*#decided to just call it a night bc damn thats frustrating! idk what i was doing wrong but i kept ending up w the wrong amount of stitches!!#i think theres a possibility i can finish everything but im rly not sure fhdkdl tomorrow is already the 17th#im just. afraid fhdkdl i rly want this to work out !!! agh!!#I cant tell if my current chest pain is from anxiety or from medication (which i take for heart pounding from anxiety) wearing off djdkdl#ough. uncomfortable. I'll go draw and hopefully i can calm down bc im just sbdhdkl so afraid rn#IT ALSO DOESNT HELP that im the only one besides Kam in the system who knows how to crochet well fsbdhdkl#so the others cannot take over bc they cannot crochet either at all or as fast as i can :') i am stuck! in front!! AGGHH#i want a break man djsksl this season is so bad for me mentally fbjfdkl but by god i am getting thru it#okay off to go draw now fhdksl i have several ideas for drawing yay
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