#idk if anyone will ever read this but i had to do something about it!!!
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xyxofspades · 2 days ago
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Has anyone written a character study about Castiel and his predisposition to addiction yet?? Like I don’t mean just endverse!Cas- I mean aaaaaaall of Cas.
Yeah sure in endverse with the drugs and the sec and the etc etc but throughout the series Cas doesn’t seem to understand how to handle human luxuries and so when he’s at his lowest he indulges in really normal things like TV, but he does it so derangedly indulgently.
In S11 when he’s Casifer and we see him in his head when Crowley pops in there to try and pull him out he is glued to that little TV he’s got. He says Lucifer “mostly leaves him alone” and with the way he talks it sounds like he is literally not processing anything except what’s on that TV. He’s not processing Lucifer Rowena’s death, whatever the hell Lucifer was doing to Crowley that whole time, the attempts on the Winchester’s lives. Dude was not seeing any of it.
And that’s not the first time he’s done that either. In the season prior when Rowena had basically given him rabies, after he’d healed, he stuck himself to the TV in the bunker watching show after show on Netflix and trash cable. He’d seemed to develop a sort of agoraphobia and coped with it via television addiction.
Then there’s the scene in early season whatever number I can’t remember where the term “Team Free Will” was coined for the first time. Cas’s famous line of “I found a liquor store.” “And?” “And I drank it.” Cas seeing nothing but hopelessness in the face of the coming apocalypse decided to indulge himself in the human luxury of alcohol. This is the beginning of the timeline leading to the endverse but it still happens in the canon timeline.
Season 5(?) (same season?) (dude idk it’s been a while) around the time all those reapers were gathering Cas said something along the lines of “the world is ending, pick a vice and stick to it” and I cannot for the love of god remember what episode it’s in but if I find it I’ll edit this post.
And of course we all love Cas from that time he absolutely lost his shit and went around doing side quests like beekeeping- but Cas was doing all that as a coping mechanism for the guilt of releasing the leviathans. The sudden shift in personality, the listening to music in the car while Dean puts a lid on his exasperation, pondering the importance of lipstick, the boop he gives Kevin- all human things, or at least things he perceives to be human.
When Cas becomes human he throws himself into this little job at a gas station. He takes absurd, meticulous care of this gas station like he’s preening some sort of million dollar garden. It’s not about the job though, it’s about the humanity of the job. The human experience of working a garbage job for near nothing pay, that’s what he’s hooked into.
The bees, the TV, the minimum wage job, and of course the sex and drugs of the endverse- Every single time we see Castiel at a low point in the show, without fail, he throws himself into a new “humane” addiction. As much as I hate the finale I do think it’s fits his pattern for the last human vice he allows is to be Dean, himself.
There’s so much more little bits and pieces throughout the show I could bring up to touch on this, but these are just the ones off the top of my head. If anyone at all has a character study or a fic about this I would love to read it. The only fics I’ve found that ever touch on this are all about endverse and the sex and drugs thing- which is fine, but it goes so much further than that. If anyone else wants to add to this post please please please- there can be SO MUCH to be said about an angel of the lord with an addiction- honest to god addiction- to humanity.
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starpros-sunshine · 6 months ago
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Eichi gives away the mask so easily because it was never meant to be an "engagement ring" like you delulu wataeis imagined it to be lmao. It was wataru saying that he will continue playing tsumugi clown role in fine and won't leave it for hokuto's mother troupe after graduation. Do you dumb fucks even read the stories? Eichi didn't even understand tf that mask meant when wataru gave it to him and wataru referenced fucking tsumugi in his "proporsal". I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link. Cope
PS: how do you live with the fact that Eichi clearly admitted to never being in love in his life and Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives?
I love you anon thank you for giving me a nice reason to ramble again beautiful ask 10/10 I'm sorry this is probably not how you hoped this would go but this is such a funny block of text delightful really thank you for the enrichment please marry me
But okay yes now to get down to the actual ask just to disclaim I am solely relying on translations seeing as I do not speak japanese well enough to understant the original text so if anyone has anything to add to this or to correct me on please feel free to do so.
Now to get started I'm not sure if one could say Eichi gave away the mask "So easily" seeing as he claimed that it was "a hard choice to make"? Which, as one might know, implies unease with an idea and pondering and debating and a general amount of thinking behind a decision so? I know this isn't really the main focus of this ask but I'm just a tad miffed with the semantics of it is all. And in either case giving the mask back to Wataru while expecting it back still shows a certain degree of trust in their relationship it wouldn't have been such a big deal for him (as it apparently was) if the mask didn't have a lot of sentimental value to him (the both of them really if we look at the whole exchange).
Now to the claim that the mask was "only" Watarus promise to stay with fine and "continue playing Tsumugis clown role". This is not entirely incorrect. Regarding the acting troupe and staying with fine bit at least.
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I'm assuming this bit in EP:Link Deadend/7 is what you are referencing, and I see where you're coming from. But the bluebird line
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from literally three dialogue lines further down, which references this line of dialogue (notorious Eichi line everyone should be familiar with)
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kind of somewhat really recontextualises that? Because you see this is a reference to a fairytale about a pair of siblings and they get sent out by a nice fairy to find the bluebird of happiness for her sad daughter to make her happy again so they both go on an adventure and travel far and search and search but they can not find the bluebird of happiness and then when they return home again, disappointed because they couldn't find the blue bird, they realise only one night has actually passed and the journey was probably just a dream. But then their eyes fall upon their pet dove in it's cage which appears blue all of a sudden and so they gift it to the fairies sad daughter which becomes happy again and sets the bird free. The real bluebird of happiness is a dove. At least in the version of the story I'm familiar with but I mean everyone sees the symbolism right? It's. very hard to miss.
And then dropping this?
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I'm not sure how to say this properly but in the overall context this makes it pretty clear that Tsumugi has nothing to do with this anymore this is Fully between Wataru and Eichi. And I am the last person to dismiss Tsumugis significance in the course of Wataeis relationship as characters I will be among the first to protest when someone dismisses the importance of Tsumugis and Eichis relationship in favour of some image they have of Wataei but he has nothing to do with this one.
Yes Tsumugi gets namedropped but - again - I don't really see how that would lessen the sentiment Wataru is triying to convey here? Because. Yes. Why wouldn't he mention Tsumugi?
The entire conversation pretty much boils down to "Yes I was initially only in this because I thought I could replace Tsumugis role in your life and then I wanted to leave but we have spent so much time together that I realised that that is definitely not working out because I really do love you. I love you as a teammate; I love you as a friend; I love you as a person and I am very angry at myself for not managing to get that into your head. So please allow me to stay with you for as long as you'll have me." And then also Eichi not understanding because he has the emotional self awareness of a very emotionally unaware loaf of bread and also because he hates himself that is a very big thing about his character huge part of his character arc actually that he. you know? Hates himself? And feels guitly for his actions during the war? And doesn't think he deserves love and companionship? Which is why Wataru wanting to stay with him for him and not for some twisted form of revenge is such an alien concept to him? Because he is projecting his insecurities onto Wataru? As one is wont to do when they hate themself? "EiChi Didn'T eVen UnDErStanD WhAt tf ThAT Mask MEAnt" Yeah. That's. That's the point? So he can think about it and come to that conclusion himself which works as a keymoment in his characters journey from hating life and himself to enjoying being alive and wanting to live on because of the people he's surrounded with? He literally explains why he didn't immediately understand the mask during the EP:Link Epilogue/4
And to get back to the "I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" about which I have two things to say:
"Lying" implies further intent and an effort. Neither of which exist in this case.
He literally went down on one knee while making a big proclamation of offering himself to Eichi with a very personal item that works as a symbol for their commitment to each other on a starlit rooftop. The comparison writes itself.
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3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke
And then I expected there to be a proper reason given and instead you proceed to follow that up with "when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link". I know the shame is on me for expecting something sensical from an ask which has been near constant in it's lack of correct statements but such is human nature I suppose. And you are not wrong. Deadend/7 isn't very close to the end of EP:Link. That is true.
But do you know what Is very close to the end of EP:Link? The Epilogue Chapters 3-5.
Do you know what the content of those chapters is? I do. Very well actually :)
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(Eichi literally explains why he didn't get it)
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So if this answers your "Do you dumb fucks even read the stories?" questions, Yes. And I think I'm a lot better at it than you. So I'd say I'm coping quite well over here :p
PS: Regarding your PS, I take the "I've never been in love before so I wouldn't know" comment with a lot of humour actually as an aroace person who's emotional self awareness also ends at "good" and "Not good" I think it's very funny all things considered especially because he mentioned the loving Wataru thing several times before that and I'm generally of the belief that actions speak louder than words and also am in a happy long term relationship with the concept of "Reading Subtext". So please excuse me for not breaking down in tears everytime someone reminds me of that one singuar line of text in one of my favourite all time enstars stories that came out three years ago which also brought us the single best card set in the entire game
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as well as absolute banger dialogue such as
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Among others <33
And there are soooooo many other examples of wataei dialogue that simply make me swoon but I have already had to take out so many of the one's I wish I could put here so this wouldn't get "Do you love the colour of the sky" long
And also, regarding your "Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives" I'll just say that no he absolutely could not. I mean he'd say that and if pull comes to shove and he has no other option then he might seriously consider it but may I mention that Wataru was gone for a few days at most but really not that long of a time during Sanctuary and Eichi stopped considering being a normal rational person that doesn't leave helpless 17 year olds in the midst of a construction site. Very different situation but I feel like it's worth mentioninh here. Another example is Eichis almost not being able to go through with the war because of Wataru. Wataru had to actively come and tell Eichi to go through with it. Wataru isn't the reason Eichi started the war, that is wrong, but he is the reason Eichi almost didn't finish it. and during the war era that was his Main objective. Again I'm part of the fraction "actions speak louder than words" Show don't tell and all that, but even the words are pushing it.
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And that concludes my essay :)
#I so won this#there were so many pictures and quotes I wanted to include but the limit..... :'(#if any of you were wondering I am still as insane about them as I ever was#thank you anon really genuinely and fully this has been a blast#if anyone reads the whole thing....mwah let's run off into the ocean together#or something like that idk but it is appreciated#they are my everything they really are#I'm very enamoured with the ''Cope''#Cope with what? I have nothing to cope with? well nothing wataei related at least#or the ''How do you live with the fact'' yadda yadda#How am I supposed to live with it it's funny i think it's very funny#You really trust what enstars characters say and take it at face value without examining the subtext further? amateur mistake#it's so passionate too anon i admire you#imagine disliking something so intensely you sent a very wordy ask to someone because of a silly post they made#I wish I had that much vigor in me#I mean i'd be too polite to even if I did but still it has somehting admireable to it#thanks to you i got to reread some of my favourite wataei interactions so now I think the last three hours were three hours well spent :)#genuinely thank you for the enrichment#I hope youll have a nice day we might not see eye to eye on this and I'm also objectively better at reading these stories and understanding#the characters but I still hope you'll have a nice day#as good karma or something#I'm currently still on that dopamine high from writing this i think it's obvious#best mood I've been in in ages I love talking about wataei#okay good I'll conclude the tags I've already stretched this post out so far i might as well spare the poor tag reader#but then again if you have read the post this far what's a few more tags to you#I really like the fact that the real bluebird is a dove it's soooooooo#it's good it's really good in the overall context#wataei#eichi tenshouin#hibiki wataru
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adxmanial · 6 months ago
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#having a time again#I fucking hate rsd#I hate just feeling the overwhelming urge to go scorched earth and abandon everyone and everything I’ve ever known#I thought I had it under control and it got triggered again recently#and it leaves me fucking exhausted and regretting all my life decisions in the end#hate fucking relapsing#hate being unable to read people’s minds#being built fucking Wrong#and having people hate me for reasons I’m not even Aware of because I can’t pick up on it and no one just fucking Talks#no one just Says when they’re bothered they let it fester and then it’s My fault#I didn’t Completely burn this bridge yet but god I am staring at it with a lighter and gasoline in hand#all that’s stopping me is that what I’m about to burn meant and still does mean a lot to me but#I can’t keep fucking doing this#it always ends like this#it never fucking changes and I don’t know why I bother I should stay in my little hole Alone where no one can hurt me#and I can’t accidentally hurt anyone else#idk man#having a fucking time#and maybe I shouldn’t even be Talking about it here#becuase who cares it’s social media#but if I don’t spill my guts Somewhere then I’ll fucking explode and cut ties with Everyone in my life at a trigger’s notice#and I need to pour this out somewhere Else#so I Don’t do something I know is Bad#in a moment of fucking rsd anxiety panic attack#lays down under my rock and dies#becomes a mushroom#if I’m a mushroom I’ll have no more problems#the mushroom hive mind will understand me and I will understand the mushroom hive mind
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jinstronaut · 11 months ago
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this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh
#and i might do it again bc its just#a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc#which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow#it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag#people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just#so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what#like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao#and it never ever used to#but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly#or whatever the make believe rules are idk#this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus#bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community#and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit#bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were#i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year#but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad#once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care#ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control#i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile#and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be#a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion#so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao#why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things????#i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just#ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand#so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time#but yeah anyways idk !#be nice its so easy !#tbd
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loserelf · 5 months ago
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i could turn jacob seed. i could make him forgo his brothers orders and see through him for what he was evennn if he was maybe right about montana getting nuked whateverrr like what everrrr okay
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unculturedswine69 · 3 months ago
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WAIT HELP I READ TOO FAST 😭😭
omg but who are your favs in the twdg games... 😳😳😳
OH HFHGFHJ ITS FINE I DO THAT ALL THE TIME TOO BUT YEAH AS YOU KNOW I LOVE THE GAMES AND SHOW AND ALSO THE COMIC!! BUT FOR THE GAMES UHMMM..omg this is SUCH a tough question honestly?? like, i feel very complicated about basically every character in this series so its hard to just pick one fave....
hmm i will say tho i have ALWAYS loved Lee and Clementine (obviously,who doesnt hehe) i just love them sm 😭the first game just makes me so emotional FRFR in the first game i also loved Ben,Chuck, Omid and Christa and Molly!! id also include Kenny but...i have a sorta love/hate relationship with that guy 😭😭😭😭hes such a good character tho!! in general i think the first game was just so good😌😌
for the other games im less familiar with them since ive only played the other seasons once each so my memory is probably a little off,but i remember really liking Sarah ,Nick,Luke and Jane from the 2nd season,but again i think some of these characters are like. love/hate with me currently,i think s2 is so turbulent that its kinda hard to pick faves really (for me atleast) with the 3rd season i remember LOVING that Tripp guy and also Javier,but its been years since i last played the game so i probably have a bunch of different opinions on everything now😭😭in general i just dont remember too much from that game,i definitely have to replay it eventually..for s4 tho?? hmm honestly,i think i loved like,90% of the cast in that LMAO but i think i liked uhhm AJ the most.and also i think his name was Asim (or aasim) and Ruby,i liked them alot i think,and louis and violet too 😌😌😌also the dog?? does the dog count??? in general i just thought the characters were pretty interesting in that game,but again i think ima just have to replay all of these again to see how i REALLY feel
ANYWAYS THANKS FOR THE QUESTION AURA!!! i would LOVE to know your faves too😈😈😈😈😈😈
#my friend!!!!!!!#cant believe im getting a twd question in our modern year 2024 (thank you. i cannot get enough of this stupid zombie franchise)#maybe the zombies were the friends we made along the way (?)#i think rick grimes said something to that effect in like season 5 or something .sorry#I LOVE THE WALKING DEAD GAMES SOO MUCH#the first game i ever got a platinum trophy on was twd s1 for the ps3#lots of good memories. it scared me so much but i was so infatuated with the world i HAD to do everything in it#i think its funny how i got into this whole series through the games.didnt even know anything abt the show#it came out in like..2012 right?? 2013?? so i was lik 7 or 8 .crazy#yes i still get scared at these games. im stil lscared of fnaf. sue me. yes i still cry at the ending to s1#SUE ME IDC#me when the father figure has to leave.me when the figure who is a father to young girl has to abandon her for reasons they cant control#me when fathers. me when men who father children who arent their own and love them like their own cuz they are kind and good.#clenches fists...oughhh...family..#anyways this is so crazy cuz i was thinking about playing the games again like a week ago#can you read my mind?????????? probably. clown to clown communication. gg fan to gg fan communication#isnt it so crazy that twdg are taking place at like the exact same time that like. the show (or comic i dont remember) is??#like. i dont rlly think abt that enough tbh. its kinda crazy to me#the fact that we had glenn for like 1 (one) chapter in the games is so crazy to me. he was just out there#i also really liked glenn but idk if he counts since he was like.a cameo. he was like a disney channel show cameo idk#anyways sorry for the rants.i just had my vitamins im CRAZY im PSYCHO rn!!#anyone else ever get a lil emotional thinking abt kenny. im sure we all do. but. oughh. s2 kenny and lee comparison makes my brain hurt#anyways. i need to STOP im a MADMAN RN#see this is what happens when you ask me about my interests. leave me alone (joke. pats you on shoulder and smiles softly)
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peapod20001 · 2 years ago
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In my...✨ depression bed ✨ phase <3
#vent#oho five hours babeeee hungry AND hot AND depressed?? what is this?? my birthday?#hahaha yeaap. it’s cool it’s cool I’m chillin#just vibin. head feels. weird. but I don’t entirely know what up with that it could be a few things if I’m being honest lol#hmmgf when was the last time I just. laid here this often?#laid? layd? layed?? whatever lol#hmm I found a fuckin uhh. vent diagram thing that showed BPD ASHD and Autism and their specific traits and overlaps#is uh. uhm. too close!! like sir!! who gave you!! permission!!!!#oofy anyways uhmmmmmm. realized that I!! don’t interact with people!! as much as I did when I was younger!!#like I had my classmates. my friends. my family. the ppl on tumblr and stuff. yknow#I was talking to someone and shit like!! every day!! for multiple hours!! a day!!!!#now it’s like. wow boy howdy. what are the chances I y’all for more than an hour with LITERALLY ANYONE today :)#uhhghgh gross ew ew nasty. I totally. don’t care that I’m not getting my enrichment#I’ll jus read tags on my art and look through old messages in place of actually. talking to anyone#mmm. conversations hard. hate talking about myself. don’t know anything besides myself. hate certain topics (but won’t say anything bout it)#anndd yeaa!! I don’t understand ppl and their motives and why they like me specifically. I put on my best personality for youu#I’m playing off of you and mirroring how you act so you’ll be ok with me <3 but that’s ok I suppose. I don’t think anyone here is out for my#guys so I’m doing good at least somewhat lol. ahmm. you ever not care about being something special to someone else. and then they kindaa.#squash that idea? and in theory you shouldn’t care since you didn’t want it in the first place but. them saying it hits? different? like oou#oh and question I don’t expect anyone to answer. you ever cried cus. someone aid you were their friend? best friend specifically? idk man#2 ppl have said I’m their best friend an I had to literally force myself not to get emotional at the first one and then I legitimately cried#with the second one LMAO like. how ridiculous is that yea? yeah#it’s. yeah. I’ve called ppl my bffs or whatever before but. it’s different when someone says it to you first ig. before I think they only#gave me the label out of convenience. not that we weren’t actually friends (at least I hope we were DHHDV) but. idk!! I literally yearned#for like!! basic shiittt!! I got put in time out like beginning of kindergarten cus I cried over my 1st best friend partnering with a new#girl instead of me!!! 😭 woof. that was the ONLY time I ever cried in public EVER. didn’t matter how many time I got hurt physically or#emotionally or how stressed I got or how confused or embarrassed and humiliated I was!! I’m NEVER letting people look at me like I’m stupid#for caring EVER. AGAIN. woof ok getting off the rails here I was like at least sort of ok when I started writing this but now I’m very much#NOT lololol so uhhhhhhhhhhh. anyways. let you get back to scrolling or swiping or whatever. I’ll be finnee totally. just. here
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coridallasmultipass · 1 month ago
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weaselle · 6 months ago
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i want to talk about real life villains
Not someone who mugs you, or kills someone while driving drunk, those are just criminals. I mean VILLAINS.
Not like trump or musk, who are... cartoonishly evil. And not sexy villains, not grandiose villains, not even satisfyingly two dimensional villains it is easy to hate unconditionally. The real villains.
I had a client who was a retired executive for one of the big oil companies, i think it was Shell or Chevron. Had a home just outside of San Francisco that was wall to wall floor to ceiling full of expensive art. Literally. I once accidentally knocked a painting off the wall because it was hanging at knee height at the corner of the stairs, and it had a little brass plaque on it, and i looked up the name of the artist and it was Monet's apprentice and son-in-law, who was apparently also a famous painter. He had an original Andy Warhol, which should have been a prize piece for anyone to showcase -- it was hanging in the bathroom. I swear to god this guy was using a Chihuly (famous glass sculptor) as a fruit bowl. And he was like, "idk my wife was the one who liked art"
I was intrigued by this guy, because in the circles i run this dude is The Enemy. right? Wealthy oil executive? But as my client, he was... like a sweet grandpa. A poor widower, a nice old man, anyone who knew him would have called him a sweetheart. He had a slightly bewildered air, a sort of gentle bumbling nature.
And the fact that he was both of these things, a Sweet Little Old Man and The Enemy, at the same time, seemed important and fascinating to me.
He reminded me of some antagonist from fiction, but i couldn't put my finger on who. And when i did it all made sense.
John Hammond.
probably one of the most realistic bad guys ever written.
If you've only ever seen the movie, this will need some explaining.
Michael Crichton wrote Jurassic Park in 1990, and i read it shortly thereafter. In the movie, the dinosaurs are the antagonists, which imo erases 50% of the point of the story.
book spoilers below.
In the book, John Hammond is the villain but it takes the reader like half the book to figure that out. Just like my client, John is a sweet old man who wants lovely things for people. He's a very sympathetic character. But as the book progresses, you start to see something about him.
He has an idea, and he's sure it's a good one. When someone else dies in pursuit of his dream, he doesn't think anything of it. When other people turn out to care about that, he brings in experts to evaluate the safety of his idea, and when they quickly tell him his idea is dangerous and needs to be put on hold, he ignores his own experts that he himself hired, because they are telling him that he is wrong, and he is sure he is right.
In his mind, he's a visionary, and nobody understands his vision. He is surrounded by naysayers. Several things have proven too difficult to do the best and safest way, so he has cut corners and taken shortcuts so he can keep moving forward with his plans, but he's sure it's fine. He refuses to hear any word of caution, because he believes he is being cautious enough, and he knows best, even though he has no background in any of the sciences or professions involved. He sends his own grandchildren out into a life-threatening situation because he is willfully ignorant of the danger he is creating.
THIS is like the real villains of the world. He doesn't want anyone to die. Far from it, he only wants good things for people! He's a sweet old man who loves his grandchildren. But he has money and power and refuses to hear that what he is doing is dangerous for everyone, even his own family.
I think he's possibly one of the most important villains ever written in popular fiction.
In the book, he is killed by a pack of the smallest, cutest, "least dangerous" dinosaurs, because a big part of why we read fiction is to see the villains face thematic justice. But like a cigarette CEO dying of lung cancer, his death does not stop his creation from spreading out into the world to continue to endanger everyone else.
I think it is really important to see and understand this kind of villainy in fiction, so you can recognize it in real life.
Sweetheart of a grandfather. Wanted the best for everyone. Right up until what was best for everyone inconvenienced the pursuit of his own interests.
And my client was like that too. His wife had died, and his dog was now the love of his life, and she was this little old dog with silky hair in a hair cut that left long wispy bits on her lower legs. Certain plant materials were easily entangled in this hair and impossible to get out without pulling her hair which clearly hurt her. When i suggested he ask his groomer to trim her lower leg hair short to avoid this, he refused, saying he really liked her usual hair cut.
I emphasized that she was in pain after every walk due to the plant debris getting caught in her leg hair, and a simple trim could put an end to her daily painful removal of it, and he just frowned like i'd recommended he take a bath in pig shit and said "But she'll be ugly" and refused to talk about it anymore.
Sweet old man though. Everyone loved him.
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neverendingford · 6 months ago
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#tag talk#was talking with my brother about being plural and like. I'm kinda the tough rough protector cliche one#and I was talking about wanting my other half to be happy and he hit me with something I'm still mulling over.#he was like “you talk a lot about wanting her to be happy. does she want you to be happy?”#and like. chat words cannot describe how much that threw me. it's my job to take the blows. to front when we're in danger and in pain.#I don't think she gives a shit whether I'm happy. she hasn't learned to care about me as a separate person.#I care about her because that's my job. I'm the fucking trauma alter or whatever. but she doesn't care back.#and we really need to have this talk once she's back. she's asleep right now cause we've been having real bad migraine and I've been dealing#but once things aren't so bad we need to have a fucking talk#I'm not happy being restricted to a relationship I'm not interested in. I don't want to date our partner and that's whatever#but I can't even go out and get fucked properly because even though *I'm* not in a relationship my second half is.#like. goofy ah situation where two people live in a single body so one of them is celibate in order to keep the other one monogamous#like. how the fuck do I do this? if he calls me babe or baby or my love one more time I'm gonna kill us both I hate it.#she likes words of endearment like that and I would rather die. she likes kissing him but I don't like kissing anyone in general#and this whole time I've been expected to just go along with everything because she just bulldozes me out of the way.#I tried to break up with him and she took over the next day and got us right back together again with apologies and letters#because she's genuinely emotionally happy with him and I'm happy for her because I do care.#but I'm not happy with the situation and I don't think she actually cares that I'm not happy. she's caught up in her own shit#and I'll admit I do like him. the partner. we communicate really well and we kinda click yaknow?#and I really do want to keep him as a friend long term#but I can't fucking do this I'm not monogamous I just wanna go get fucked good and rough and he's insufficient for that#one of these years I want to go to Folsom Street Fair. I've read a ton about it and it looks so fun.#I just wanna be sexually liberated and unfortunately I'm stuck in this body with a hopeless romantic#anyway. we've got a lot to sort out here.#I just. she does care but she gets so caught up in her own shit that she forgets to consider other people.#and weirdly enough I count as other people even though we're kinda(?) the same person#pretty similar music tastes. relatively similar fashion styles. same body and same childhood goes far in making you similar people#and yeah. I'm aware she's the more developed one. I don't get nearly as much screen time as she does. but I'm making up for lost time#idk. if I'm stuck here I may as well make the most of it.#also wanna know something funny? I think I'm the one who's tried to kill us every time. no way she ever had the guts to do it.
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foxcassius · 7 months ago
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wait also my tags on that post were about people i knew in freshman and sophomore year of college specifically. i mean some of them i knew after that and most of them i knew from high school but damn some people really made everything about themselves when i was being emotionally manipulated in my freshman year
#i cant even think about it. makes so like disappointed and upset to think about some people.#its also just crazy how some people have like no introspection abilities at all.#they'll be like 'you did x once you abused me' ignoring how they did x 15 times and y 20 times and also came at me physically violently#and i know its not a calculator. i know i cant put all the bad things we did to each other into an algorithm that tells us who abused who#like i am aware that we had a toxic relationship and its better now that we are not in contact#but it makes me shake my head when i think about screenshots people used to send me of stuff my ex friends were saying about me on twt#because those people DO think they can put every bad thing ive ever done into a calculator that will show the result that i abused them#anyway. i like to think any person who knows me well and/or irl knows thats not me and i dont talk to almost anyone from that time anymore#i still follow and talk to fee...i think i still follow joanna but she is never on anymore....#in the end there is not much use in thinking anf agonizing about this anymore. i used to go into spirals a lot like maybe i DID abuse x fri#end and i just didnt REALIZE it maybe im CRAZY but. i definitely dont do that anymore. what she said to me made me do that.#(again. emotional manipulation.)#but its so crazy to remember high school and college from my current vantage point. i've lived so much good life since then.#now i own a house. i garden (something x friend told me i would never be responsible enough for) i have a boyfriend who has been scretly#into me for over year before we started dating (something x friend always told me i was imagining in people) i have a job i find fulfillment#in (something x friend said i would never find if i kept changing jobs looking for one i liked)#i feel like i make a post ever year or so when i inevitably end up looking back on those times...and i always feel guilty for making them#because i dont want it to seem like im gossiping or slandering (even though x friend posted about me all the time) but idk#i dont go to therapy yknow. i just journal and write and think in my head and on occasion i make a blog post with rambling tags#i talk to people and learn about them and through that learn about me. i read and learn about the world and the mind.#im not saying i wouldnt go to therapy if i could afford it...but i guess im defending my right to make a post about the past every year-ish.#it helps#t
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yourcomputerr · 2 years ago
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jeepers this game is so overwhelming (i want to do everything it has to offer at once)
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deathbxnny · 2 months ago
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RAHH YOUR BACKKK
perchance, could you do arcane women reacting to reader in the aftermath of a really toxic relationship like how they would comfort them and stuff?
Arcane women comforting you after a toxic relationship. | Sevika, Vi, Jinx x Gn!Reader
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You can't just say perchance!/J
But on a serious note, thanks for the interesting request, I had alot of fun writing this!<3
Content: Angst, past toxic relationships, fluff, can be read as either platonic or romantic? Idk, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns.
((Not proofread))
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》SEVIKA
She hated your ex and never bothered to hide it either. Her passive-aggressive remarks and cold glares got the point across every time, but she never tried to talk you out of your relationship. It wasn't entirely her business anyway, and you'd learn eventually on your own. Trying to intervene would only make things worse unless they were hurting you, to which she'd bury them alive for it.
Either way, it came to no surprise to her when you appeared at her door late into a random night, crying and sobbing incoherently at what had happened. You finally found the strength to break it off with your ex, but that didn't stop the heartbreak from lingering in your heart so horribly. Yes, they were terrible to you, and it was for the best you left, but the self-doubt and conflicting emotions in you were driving you to the point of insanity.
Thankfully, Sevika was quick to get you into her humble home wordlessly, slightly unsure of how to comfort you. But she didn't play her long awaited "I told you so" card. Instead, she got you some tissues, a nice cold drink of your choice, and your favorite food before simply sitting down next to you in silence. She figured that listening to your rant would be better than to say anything, and so she did just that, for how long you needed it.
Deep down, she was brewing with anger, though, yet kept it calm for you. She wanted you to feel comfortable here and even goes as far as to let you cuddle up to her at the end of your vent session. In her mind, many different ways of dealing with your ex's existence came to mind, yet they stilled at the softest "thank you" given by you.
Her heart skipped an embarrassed beat as she waved your gratefulness off with a stubborn shake of her head, claiming it was nothing to worry about.
Your ex, on the other hand, definitely had something to worry about, though, once she gets her hands on them.
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》VI
Vi has been itching to fight your ex from day one, yet refrained at your pleas to not hurt them. She always told you that you deserved better. That you deserved someone who actually loved and cared about you, but you couldn't see her way no matter how many times you two talk about it. It's like you couldn't see past the love you had for your ex until the glasses finally did break.
The pink haired woman intervened during a heavy argument between you and your ex, which eventually led you to finally just break it off with them for good. You were so sick of their fighting and finally understood what Vi was seeing from the start... but that didn't stop the guilt and heartbreak from seeping into your heart by the time you made it back to her place.
You felt ashamed for not seeing it sooner, but Vi was quick to wrap you up in warm blankets and reassure you that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. Things like that can happen to anyone, after all. And you learned something from it, so that's a good thing!
She will try and give you a bit of a peptalk that then veers into her, wondering if she should beat your ex up for good measure. Words won't get through to them, but these fists certainly will! Or so she thinks. Thankfully, you eventually fall asleep in her embrace before you can notice her once again reckless scheming.
Vi may let them get away with it for now, but if she ever sees them around, it will be on sight... well, as long as you're not there too. She wants you to feel safe with her and hope's that you do, as she, too, finally falls asleep.
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》JINX
I hope your ex is good at dodging bullets because Jinx will shoot them on sight. She has already contemplated this from the start and never thought anything good of them either in all the time you dated them. She'd prank and annoy the hell out of them in the hope of driving them away, especially after you warned her not to hurt them.
But that didn't mean anything to her anymore, after you two finally broke up. Her efforts weren't for nothing after all, and she would've rejoiced at the news if it weren't for your heartbroken expression that greeted her the moment you stepped into her hideout.
Pushing her chaotic and murderous thoughts aside for the moment, she was quick to cuddle you up in her strong arms and let you rant all about your troubles to her. She'll feed you your favorite food and drink whilst you speak, yet doesn't say much herself. She's a good listener when she wants to be and luckily knows when to be serious. At most, she'll join in at the shit talking phase, glad to finally be free to gossip about them in peace with you at last.
Eventually, she'll try and distract you with some new inventions or stories of hers until you fall asleep, at which she takes that as her green light to go on a little hunt. After covering you in all of the blankets she can find and making sure that your resting place is extra comfortable, she casually loads her gun and exits the hide out with a wide grin.
Finally, some revenge for all the tears you've shed.
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gay-dorito-dust · 8 months ago
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Hello! Hope you're okay :D
First your writeing it's so good and i love it, and this is mu first time asking you for a request :)
So idk if you aleady did this, i don't remember reading it but i wanted to know how do you think Damian would react when he finally meet his brothers partner?
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When JASON borough you home, Damian wasn’t certain whether he was seeing the same perpetually annoying Jason, especially when he watched him look at you as though you were the only one in the room.
It was something completely new, for as long as Damian could remember Jason was a man who held great resentment and anger within himself, which often resulted in making him prone to rash decisions and act out on his self destructive tendencies. So seeing him smile with you, laugh with you, joke with you was a side to him that only Dick had told him stories about.
Damian wasn’t fond of trusting anyone outside of his own family, but he’d be stupid to not see that you were an extremely positive influence on Jason, and soon found himself hoping that his brother wouldn’t be the one to fuck this up via self sabotage. However he didn’t have to fear that being the case when he saw the way Jason seemed more at peace by your side then he ever did in his entire life, his shoulders were no longer hunched and the furrow in his brow was less prominent, his jaw was no longer clenched and is more relaxed.
It was as though Damian was looking at a completely different person and he couldn’t help but find himself being thankful to you for having such unwavering patience with Jason and secretly hopes that you continue to do so for the nearby future. Damian could clearly see that you helped Jason through the moments that he wouldn’t dare bring up to his own family and while that hurt, he’s glad that Jason wasn’t alone with his thoughts anymore and was able to carve out a future with you.
‘They’re good for you Todd.’ Damian said once you were out of earshot.
‘I’ve known that since the moment they didn’t shy away from my scars and brokenness.’ Jason told his little brother.
‘You’re not broken.’ Damian corrected as he saw the look upon Jason’s face as he looks at you play with Titus, ‘ you’re healing.’
When TIM brought you home Damian didn’t know that he even got a partner, he didn’t bother to think that Tim was capable of engaging in a romantic relationship with anyone, given how co-dependant he was with that stupid laptop of his.
Damian understood that Tim and himself didn’t have the best of relationship, it wasn’t perfect and it wasn’t exactly ideal for two people who were meant to be considered ‘siblings’, but Damian didn’t want him to be mistreated by anyone regardless.
So when he began to take notice how you took care of Tim without it being overbearing or controlling in the slightest, you made sure he ate properly and took adequate rest whilst letting him uphold his responsibilities. You trusted Tim to take care of himself when you knew you were out of your element and he trusted you to keep ahold of his heart no matter what, and Damian could see that in the way you would boast about Tim as though he was gods gift to humanity; Which to you he very much was with a side order of sarcastic wit.
You reminded Tim that he was more then what he could give to other people, a lesson that Damian truly believed Tim needed to learn and if he learnt that through your relationship then that was good enough for him.
‘I didn’t know you were capable of being in a relationship.’ Damian told Tim and he sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.
‘Thanks Damian, much appreciated.’ He said sarcastically.
‘You didn’t let me finished Drake,’ Damian told him before continuing, ‘however I’m…glad that you found someone who makes you sees your worth.’
Tim smiled softly. ‘Thanks Damian.’
When DICK brought you home, Damian was quick to follow you throughout your visit to the manor in hopes of getting a good gauge of your character, he valued Dick as his brother and wasn’t just about let him date anyone he decided to pick up from the side of the street one day on a whim.
Damian wasn’t exactly trusting towards you at first -despite the many stories Dick had told him about you- genuinely thinking that by next week Dick would’ve dumped you and bring home another one of his short lived romances, and seeing as how commitment wasn’t exactly a thing Dick was well known for. So he wasn’t expecting much to come out of your visit but when he saw just how happy Dick was with you, holding your hand, practically glued to your side and just acting like an human version of a puppy dog whenever he was with you it was almost sickening; well it was but you get the point.
Not once did Damian see Dick’s adoring eyes wander from you, he was completely entranced by anything and everything you said as though it was gospel. You both were the epitome of lovesick and Damian didn’t know whether he should be happy that it seems as though Dick found someone whom he could be genuine with and no be judged, or be grossed out by how much pda you do.
It was a tossup between the two but Damian found himself gaining some form of respect for you throughout the day and soon would in your corner for most of your playful disagreements.
‘Oh come on Damian, you’ve barely known my partner for a day and now all of a sudden your pally pally?’ Dick whines as Damian stood by your side.
‘So? It’s obvious they’re the one in charge of this relationship.’ Damian replied and you could’ve busted out laughing at Dick’s expression afterwards.
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alllgator-blood · 2 months ago
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'FOGGY STREETS AND CHRISTMAS LIGHTS'
(part 3/3)
I'm gonna infodump about the backstory of this comic, don't feel obligated to read it because it's not cotl related it's just personal stuff, I just want to be able to write about it somewhere cause I can't really talk to anyone about it.
As always, thanks for reading this far, sorry my stuff has been such a bummer so consistently. This comic goes out to all my "christmas induced depression" homies, I left my house maybe like ~5 times all month and it was NOT pleasant hearing "IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!" on the radio when I'm so ready for it to be over. Gonna take it reaaaaal easy til the year ends, you guys take it easy too!! Got some asks I have to respond to when I'm more stable but probably no new comic pages til january
Alright uhhh so this part of the comic is pretty much taken directly from the last time I saw my great-grandma alive, a few days before christmas. She didn't remember me, but at the nursing home there was a piano, and I sat down and played some stuff because I didn't know what to say. I was really into lisa the painful rpg at the time, and I played that "I've got the joy" song that the villain sings without realizing it was an old christian campfire song. She didn't really say much or move that whole night, just kind of gave me a polite blank smile, but started singing the words when I played the notes to that song.
I kinda stopped in shock, my dad frantically asked me to keep playing, so I did. While the comic I made is way more sappy than the actual moment was, I wish I'd cherished the moment longer. I didn't know it was the last time I'd see her alive. Every family christmas was held at her house when she was around, so it's been weird the past few years. I actually lost another dementia-addled grandma to cancer on christmas eve in 2009, so the holiday was already kind of weird for me on top of everything else that makes me sad this time of year. That's what part 2 was about, I'll spare the details but I wrote leshy to act out how I felt back then. Why are we all sad? This is supposed to be a happy time, all the decorations are up and we're almost all here, so why is everyone smiling yet everything feels so wrong? I feel like since leshy's canonically the most ignorant one to things lurking below the surface, he'd be the one to try and make everyone feel better but not quite understand why everyone is so miserable. My first memory of having self injurious behavior came from then, hence why I had leshy pull his leaves off in the last comic. It was confusing and frustrating and I was just old enough to comprehend something was wrong, but not old enough to understand the depth of it, it DEFINITELY didn't help that nobody helped me back then so I made leshy's siblings actually come in clutch instead of grabbing him/yelling at him.
That night with the piano was something that's stuck with me the few years she's been gone, but I felt kind of strange when I asked my dad and my sister about it and neither of them remembered it. The room we were in was completely empty so nobody else witnessed it but us three. I myself have a history of head trauma and memory loss (plus, native americans are disproportionately more likely to develop dementia... lucky us) so if I ever forgot about that moment, there'd be nobody left to remember it. Sometimes when I do comics, it's my way of going "this happened at some point, and the only evidence it ever happened was me witnessing it, so if something happens to me I want the memory to stay alive in some form."
Anyway. The autistic urge to overshare, am I right? Idk what my religious ass great-grandma would think of me drawing demonic comics about my last memory of her, she'd probably think it's funny though cause she raised my dad whose interests have always been "death metal and devil worship". I'm not sure if anyone read this far, I just hope my dumb comics can convey the things I can't say with my voice and struggle to say through text. None of this was supposed to be "feel bad for me!! Woe is me!!", it was supposed to me more like...cathartic? Healing? I almost didn't post this comic because it felt kinda weird, but seeing people connect with it made it worth it imo. Thank you
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fireflyinks · 3 months ago
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hi girlyyy I love ur hamzah fics sm u write him so good it’s crazy! I was thinking abt their new vid with the heartbeat thing and I was wondering if u could make a fic about that!!
keep up the workkk💗💗💗💗💗
heartbeat
hamzah x reader smut
18+ MINORS DNI
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a/n : YOUR GIRL IS BACKKKKKKKK!!!!!! sorry this video isn't really new anymore but I'VE BEEN SO BUSY. i hope your all like this, it's not great but hey, at least I posted!!!
contains : smut obvi, riding, lowkey getting caught (EMBARRASING!!!), no y/n, kinda dom reader!!! (everyone say "THANK YOU VI", established relationship, heartbeat kink (idk if that's a thing lmao) and probably more idk it's smut read at your own risk
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I sat in bed, contemplating interrupting Hamzah and Martin while filming. They’d been going for hours, and I had grown tired of hearing the two scream on the other side of the thin white walls. I knew Hamzah wouldn’t care if I interrupted, the slushies loved when I made appearances in videos, but part of me knew that my intentions weren’t purely innocent. 
I stood up, walking out of Hamzah and I’s shared bedroom. Just as I walked through the door, I watched as Martin walked out. 
“Bathroom” was all he said. I nodded shortly gliding into their filming room. 
“Hey baby,” I spoke softly. Hamzah looked up from his phone, smiling at the sight of me.
“Hi sweetheart.” 
Walking over to where Hamzah sat, I wrapped my arms around him as I looked at the paused game screen. I looked at the numbers on either side of the screen, remembering that they were doing a heartbeat monitor video. 
As I pressed a kiss on the side of Hamzah’s neck, I watched as the numbers on his side of the screen went up after a few seconds. He blushed a bit, interlocking his fingers with mine. His heartbeat traveled from 73 to 96 quickly. 
“Are you nervous or something?” I teased, watching the monitor. 
Hamzah pressed his lips onto mine, his hands finding their way to my hips as he pulled me onto his lap. As our mouths moved against each other, I glanced at the screen again. 116. 
I began grinding my hips down onto him, feeling as a ten began to grow in his gym shorts. He guided my hips with his hands, a firm grip on either side. Hamzah groaned lowly at the sensation. 
“Guys, can you at least wait until we’re done filming?” Martin spoke, unimpressed. I smiled against Hamzah’s lips, pulling away and glancing at the screen once again. 125. 
“Sorry Martin…” I giggled, walking out of the room briskly. I could feel Hamzah’s eyes still on me as I left. 
After about 30 minutes, I could hear Martin finally leave. I got out of bed, quickly making my way to the filming room. Hamzah smiled as he saw me walk in. 
“Sorry, Martin is the biggest cock blocker of all time.” 
I straddled his lap in the chair, “It’s okay,” I pressed our lips together, letting his tongue explore my mouth. I grinded my hips down on his again, feeling myself get more and more soaked. He was still as hard as he was before, and what were once groans were now whimpers from the neglectance he was experiencing. 
“Fuck, that feels so good…” He praised against my lips.
After a few moments, I looked back at the screen. 120. I wasted no time taking off my shirt and letting Hamzah unclasp my bra in one quick motion. I rubbed my thighs together, he was far too good at that. 
He slipped his gym shorts and boxers off as I stood up and slid my lacy panties off as quickly as I could manage. I held his member up as I sunk myself down onto it. Hamzah all but whimpered as he bottomed me out. 
“Oh my- fucking hell. You suck me in so good, baby.” 
I started moving, bouncing up and down at a rate that shouldn’t be possible. Words try to escape my mouth, but I can’t seem to get anything coherent out. He was big, bigger than anyone I’d ever had before. Though this wasn’t even close to being our first time, his size still surprised me. 
Continuing to move up and down, my legs begin to shake with pleasure. I rest my knees on either side of his thighs, and I feel as Hamzah’s large hands grab onto the back of my legs. 
“It’s okay, you got it. Keep going baby, keep making me feel good with that pretty pussy.” 
His words are enough to push me over the edge, and I can tell he’s close too by the way his eyelids look heavier than usual and his mouth is formed into a “o” shape. 
“I- I’m gonna-” 
Hamzah nods rapidly, “Me too. Come baby, come with me.”
And I do, my fluids soaking his member as he fills me up perfectly. Once we’ve rode out our climax, I sink back down and sit there for a moment. 
I can’t help but look back at the screen, 81. 
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