#idk if anyone else feels like this but thats how I FEEL
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just a sagau genshin abt the newest banner (geo & hydro dragon my love) (the creator is self insert) LOTS OF OOC
a/n : written in rush cuz i randomly think abt this after knewing next phase banner and i hope i got both of them, i was gonna added about how i forgot ayato & childe exist when i planning on which dps from each vision should i pull, but they make no sense so i didnt include it.
"I didnt mean to look down on your choice, Your Grace. But, didnt your cousin says itll be better just to pull me...?"
You look at Zhongli with the most unserious, more like silly face, thinking about hes actually jealous of your choice on pulling for Neuvillette.
While it's true you need his shield and he would be the first Geo 5 star you have, but who wouldnt want a hydro dragon pure water tester PLUS a water machine gun to pew pew those enemies!
And more better? You have an unbuild Furina too!
"But my cousin also says he would comeback to genshin to pull for Nupi!"
If Zhongli able to curse, he will.
when will you also gave him a cute, silly lil nickname to him too?
"But like, Your Grace—"
"Shhsshhh"
You quickly shut him, putting your own finger on his lips, making a small blush creep onto the Geo Archon.
Zhongli can feel the side eye Neuvillette gave him as the Hydro dragon sips on his pure water.
"But, Your—"
Seriously, you never saw this version of him thats cant control his own usual calm demeanor, but the version you see is the impatient and insists that his opinion is the best.
Not like he's wrong though.
You put your own finger on you lips now and did a mewing pose, kinda making those two old dragon sigh.
whats wrong with this generation...
"Zhongli, hear me out. Nupi is a nuke, or else should i say Nukelet? Thats suit you isnt it?"
Neuvillette sighed again, but he didnt hide his chuckle about his Creator giving him more silly nickname.
"Pardon me, Your Grace. While it doesn't matter to me that you call me that, but I'm a dragon, not a nuke. I dont boom myself"
"But youre a boomer."
"Was that supposed to be a joke?"
"No."
Back to Zhongli. Hes still thinking countless reason about why you should pull for him.
I mean, his material is easier to get (even if youre the Creator and couldve just easily get everything you want), his talent is useful (SHIELD??? BIG PILLARS???? THROWING BIG ROCKS TO THE ENEMIES?????), he got many fans (BUT ITLL BE USELESS IF HIS CREATOR DIDNT WANT TO PULL HIM), he got many fanfics (HE KNEW YOU LIKE TO READ THEM AND HE WILL HACK THE TUMBLR TO SHOWS UP MANY FANFICS ABOUT HIM ON YOUR DASHBOARD BUT EXCLUDING THE HURT/NO COMFORT BCS HE KNEW YOU DESPISE THEM)
But then he come to a conclusion, as he clapped his hand.
"Your Grace, if Sir Neuvillette have Furina on your team, what about Xiao?"
Fuck he was right. WHAT ABOUT YOUR XIAO????? HE NEED HIS FATHER FIGURE!!!!
"Youve got a point..." you pose like the trade offer meme.
"So, who should i choose now? is it you, Sir Zhongli, or is it you, Monsieur Neuvillette?"
"Uhm, pardon me but, why dont you just get us?" ask Neuvillette, putting his cup on the table.
"Dont you think itll be better, Your Grace? You get two dragons and you also have their companions on your team."
"Monsieur, i dont have that kind of money. Im still in high school, heck, a boarding school! Even if i have guaranteed now, i dont think i can."
"But our banner started on your holidays..."
"Ok now you got another point"
"So, what you gonna do?"
"I'll take two dragon, please"
Perhaps Zhongli should thank Neuvillette for his suggestion.
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another a/n : i post this cuz im at my home, suffering from another sudden sickness (i keep getting nauseous and vomiting plus a bad fever & headache but idk what causes them can anyone tell me 😭) also i have a tooth extraction scheduled on Monday so yeah... wished my future self a good luck
#achi's#achi's writing#genshin impact fluff#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact#genshin self aware au#genshin impact sagau#sagau#genshin x you#genshin x reader#genshin fanfic#PHASE 5.2 IS SICK#zhongli#zhongli x reader#zhongli x you#neuvillette#neuvilette genshin#neuvillette x reader#neuvillette x you#genshin impact x you
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The cool thing about narumitsu and serirei is that they're both adult man ships with people who are like, logically ok they're successful but also they're cringefail and they're stupid pining for each other like teenagers even though they're adults in their late 20s/30s depending on when the media is set. So it's like. Idk it's cool to look at, at least for me, bc people draw art ab these worlds most average adult guys who didn't get to relax in childhood and didn't date as teenagers and they have anxiety and impostor syndrome and trying to be good now and they're kind of goofy in love with this guy that makes them flustered and acts like he's cool but he's a fucking loser too and the world's most average dude
#narumitsu#serirei#idk if anyone else feels like this but thats how I FEEL#like theyre just average dudes doing their jobs and its nice bc like. you could one day be an average dude and fall in love kind of goofy#jay jabbers#this probably doesnt make any sense to anyone either way. oh well
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i posted abt this on my tiktok story but i need to rant more so im putting it here 😭😭 the way a lot of mikosai shippers (on tiktok, pinterest, reddit, etc) are is such a big reminder to me of why i hate the strictly romantic soulmates trope with every fiber of my being 😭😭😭 people who interpret soulmates as "that means theyre canonically together" regardless of how the characters actually feel about each other and if they ACTUALLY get together is so fucking gross to me oh my god its so fucking gross i hate forced romance so bad 😭😭 someone cant just say "hey, we're soulmates so you HAVE to date me and its literally weird and impossible for you to like anyone else because i said so!!" and also aiura WOULDNT do that anyway ???? HELLOOO???
you have no idea how many people ive seen call all saiki ships with anyone other than aiura "problematic ships" just because "theyre soulmates"
#SOULMATES DOES NOT MAKE A COUPLE CANON <333#'she SAID theyre soulmates so that means hes HERS now and its gross for u to think he liked anyone else'#hey thats actually... really bad!! hey she actually cant and wouldnt force him to date her!!! hey what the fuck!!!#not a mikosai hate post#only weird forced romance likers hate post <3#if someone doesnt like someone then they dont like them... them being soulmates doesnt change that...#thats actually just not how it works and the idea that that WOULD be how it works is gross#and a lot of the fics ive read of them end up with aiura being all 'ha i told you so! i knew id break u eventually!'#'i knew id get to u if i just kept calling u my boyfriend without permission and saying we're soulmates!'#which like not only would she not do that... its also just really gross#like u really thought 'he doesnt like her so she wears him down and doesnt leave him alone until he relents' and like... u went with that?#oh...#weird...#idk maybe im crazy and also im having a hard time phrasing any of this#but it just brings up so many consent issues and it makes me really uncomfortable#like according to THOSE shippers it wouldnt be by his own will or feelings if he eventually fell in love with her#it would just be because the universe said so and he never had any choice#mikosai is so cute when u think of it in like the totally opposite way#in MY opinion i love mikosai AFTER aiura accepts that soulmates doesnt mean he HAS to date her#that HAS to happen before they date and THEN theyre really cute#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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@nyaskitten tumblr ate your fucking ask uhh ignore how this is months later BUT i finally watched dr s2 AND
I GET IT NOW. I UNDERSTAND.
#i was asking for art recs and you said cinder back in like. december. if you dont remember#v messy please give me a clear ref without the fur thing and with the shoulder pads please please#google refs are 5 by 5 pixels and either youtube thumbnails or minifigs#what’s going on with his design by the way. why does he have blades strapped to him#pretend his hair is smokey okay idk how to draw smoke#when i saw his design before s2 came out i clocked him as a cold tundra ish terrain design cause of the fur and the wolves#so i gave him like winter gloves even tho that’s unpractical for him but whatever#something about his hair being smokey the way your breath fogs in the cold you understand#the crosses and lines on his armor idk i searched up samurai armor cause i have no idea what they’re supposed to be#he’s a middle aged man to me so it’s kinda funny he’s beefing with a teenager (jordana)#i wanted to see a grudging solidarity under the cat guys rule sort of relationship but no the girls are fighting i guess#what happened with the old guy by the way how does that timeline work#cinder would have to be born after s4 and there’s NO CHANCE this guy is younger than kai#did the pacing of this season feel weird to anyone else or have i just not watched ninjago for too long#anyways#ninjago#lego ninjago#dragons rising#ninjago dr s2#ninjago cinder#cinder ninjago#i hope thats his name i dont rember#ninjago dr spoilers#sort of#jellos scribbles
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i cant fully control my emotions during a breakdown and then i come out of it and im like oh fuck........ ._.
#bpd#like i dont mean to hurt anyone else with having my breakdown on my vent blog on tumblr...#like the stuff i say isnt aimed at anyone in particular#and it's abt MY feelings which are so confusing i get a headache#my thoughts is my enemy and im such a broken and confused little girl inside fr T-T#but like yeah im sorry for upsetting ppl???#but really i feel so suffocated bc im constantly terrified of saying smth that will upset this or that person#or reblogging the wrong thing and making someone im attached to hate me#like idk.... genuinely my blog is supposed to be a vessel? a tool? smth for me to be able to put my emotions and thoughts down#and try to make sense of them. even when i cant. it really only concerns me. i dont mean to attack or hurt anyone else :/#but i mean i really shouldnt and i shouldve learned this lesson so long ago....#being confused and broken and mentally ill and not knowing or understanding things and being messy and#saying the wrong things or phrasing it incorrectly or anything like that#or like sometimes i have one thought tied to a certain emotion but it's only there in that moment#like when i feel so lonely i could die.. yes i do have kidnapping fantasies. bc i dont.: whatever i dont owe anyone a psychoanalys of mysel#but that doesnt mean i want want to be kidnapped by a stranger who doesnt care abt me... i know that would be awful and traumatizing and no#what i *want*. bc what i desire is love#but like i feel so much pain and just venting abt it or reblogging a post helps me solidify my overwhelming emotions#idk what to say like..... ☹️☹️☹️☹️#i cant even fucking blog or do tumblr right im worthless. and yeah i know i have a victim complex.. sorry 🥲#hmmm. yeah idk what to say like when i have breakdowns i have to get myself thru them without any support#and i dont mean that to attack anyone else.: we're all alone i know.#but idk how to deal w it so i just type it out. its not to attack anyone else its to try to make sense of my emptions i dont understand ☹️#anyway.. maybe i should just accept that im too fucked up and too contradictory for anyone to actually like me#there will always be smth that will make everyone not like me anymore. thats that.#thank u for the time u do give me tho i always appreciate thay#and im sorry i really truly dont want to hurt anyone else#i just dont have .. idk it doesnt matter im sorry for what its worth and if anyone even reads this#i hope not bc i dont want anyone to perceive me and stuff like i dont wanna exist to anyone#and im not on tumblr or post stuff for attention. im just in pain and have nowehrre to put it. im sorry if im lashinf out and hurting other
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Dethvanity is really funny to me conceptually as an episode because you can see how little they had to make the characters insecure about for the bit. They swing for obvious lowblow choices with Pickle' baldness and Nathan's weight and even those require some suspension of disbelief because ok. Sure. Nathan '(said extremely proudly) never skipped a meal in my life!' Explosion is insecure about being a big man now. Nathan *guy who everyone thinks is smoking hot 99% of the time* Explosion is a tiny bit larger than usual and is insecure about it now. Lol. Lmao even.
But anyway then we hit Skwisgaar and Toki and there's like NOTHING to swing for, you can see them going uhhh ok Skwis doesn't sleep he probably drinks a lot of coffee, and Toki? Shit, what does Toki have to be insecure about with his looks. He's perfect, he's adorable, he's ripped. Um. FUCK IT, HE'S DOING NOTHING BUT EATING LEMONS. WE GOT NOTHING, WE GOT NOTHING, JUST GIVE THE BOY CITRUS FRUITS.
WOE 🍋 BE UPON YE
I'm sure i could make some smarter points about the attempts at applying vanity in this ep and how outside of this and a few other moments i do actually like that the show rarely takes pot shots at things like Nathan's weight, but you see Nathan has shirtless scenes in this one and so my intelligence is impeded when all the blood rushes out of my head and into my-
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I LOVE TOKI'S LEMON EATING CHALLENGE HES ON IN THIS EP. BABY YR STRANGE AND PECULIAR#pickles being insecure abt balding is funny too. my man has chosen a hairstyle that is actively making that worse for himself#buddy if u didnt have whiteguy dreads impromise yr hair wld be healthier. but we love u for yr octopus swag anyway <3#also hi nathan dont listen to the tv listen to me you look great. hi hello. im unsheathing my sword to cut down anyone who makes u feel bad#EVERYBODY IN UNIVERSE IS A COWARD. ITS BIG BOY SEASON. COME GET U ONE#dethvanity isnt in my list of favs i think most its humour is rlly easy lowballs but i find it funny for reasons outside of that#which is namely the show trying to make charavters insecure abt things when they absolutely are not any other time lmao#trying to find things to make skwis and toki insecure abt but theres NOTHING. ITS RLLY FUNNY#listen. putting my hand on everyones shoulder. lets not ignore the elephant in the room this show is uh#OFTEN VERY FATPHOBIC. so its no bastion of rep just cuz it doesnt take all the pot shots it cld at nathans body#it still does take some and theres plently of fatphobia outside of nathans character#but i do like that nathan is a bigger guy and outside of a few eps thats just treated as smth fine! its not remarked on outside of those!#and i think his body is drawn really well and i like that hes permitted to be sexy and to be like. seen with his body out just as much#as like anyone else in the band. like yeah duh nathan explosion is sexy in universe ppl are rocking with this. AS THEY SHOULD BE#idk like i say. not denying the show its fatphobia just saying i like how nathan is treated and portrayed a lot of the time :]
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man i open tumblr and the very first thing i see is ctommy neg. what cruel and evil world is this
#my post#IN TWO THOUSAND AND TWENTY FOUR??#admittedly the post was from 2021 but still. good lird.#idk man maybe tommy was 'hypocritical' about how he treated others vs dream because. because dream kidnapped and abused and murdered him??#like i feel like thats a fair reason to not like someone#RATTLES THE BARS OF MY CAGE THATS IS NOT WHAT TOMMY MEANT BY 'YOU HAVE THICKER SKIN THAN ME'#he thinks tubbos better at handling all of it!! bcus tubbo doesnt TELL ANYONE ANYTHING#so tommy assumes bcus hes jumping a mile every time he takes damage and tubbos not that tubbos stronger than him! that hes worse than tubbo#slams my head into the floor. he doesnt know chat.#idk i hate when people pretend tommy is uniquely fucked up and evil and cruel. does he lash out does he do hurtful things does he say mean#things YES but not any more than literally everyone else on the server#head in hands. ok im good now im good im normal again.#ignore me im good all is well
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#ok im making one more dot post and then i am (hopefully) getting off tumblr and going to bed#liam payne#death#i do suggest not reading tbh because its just gonna be waffle. anyways#ive distanced myself from the boys for years for a multitude of reasons. mainly that they did things that disappointed me and i realised the#way i was attatched to them was unhealthy. so for the most part i listened and enjoyed the music and didnt pay Much attention to anything#else. and like liam. i always liked him in the band days because to me he was the underdog. the underappreciated and probs less stanned one#out of all of them. and when youre a fan i do feel like a lot of us just wanted them all to be appreciated. idk. but anyways yeah i did feel#for him. due to him backgroud growing up. his talent. etc etc. even though he wasnt my fav. and even when he did something wrong my teenage#self still defended him like my life depended on it. (embarassing) anyways. his solo music while it was not my fav i still occasionally#enjoyed. its just over produced pop like it was fine and i found it fun. in terms of him as an actual person by this point in his career i#didnt pay attention to him or the others that much anymore#and like. yeah as of recently as more stuff came out about him being kinda weird and rude and abusive 🙃🙃🙃 that was kind of the final#straw for me! like in terms of me giving a fuck about him. if he eventually came around cool but i wasnt gonna wait around for it.#god this whole thing feels so dramatic but i need to get it oit or i Know i will not be at peace lmao anyways#so yeah come to hearing about his death which. i hear about because of trin lovell on twitter like. shsvshs. anyways my reaction was#disbelief and just... nothing? like i said in my brain i had just disregarded him honestly. and even now i still just feel speechless.#to summarise my feelings. fuck him for how he treated his ex and probably other women as well. but also. he was my boy. he'll always be a#part of me. and it feels weird that hes just. gone. he suffered a lot with addiction and pressures etc and its just. sad that hes gone now.#that he never got to get better. and he wont get the chance to. im sad for his family. and anyone else thats gonna be affected by this#im always gonna remember him.#and thats all i have to say. honestly part of me feels SO dramatic for even typing all this out but here we are.#if anyone has read this far and wants someone to talk to im more than happy. and also just wanna make clear that i am fine#le text post
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back to self-analyzing what the fucks going on in my brainium
#txt#i need to go back to a therapist methinks#cuz why am i only now reading about OSDD-1a#bc errrmmmmmmm.........................#i know C-PTSD is very comorbid with dissociative disorders#but like given things ive experienced and struggled with its always felt like there's something More going on idk#idk it's like...i can see OSDD CPTSD or even...BPD i guess#but its just like i dont feel like ONE of those fits me its like i relate to a bit of all three#mostly so CPTSD but thats bc DUH I HAVE CPTSD#my lifes been trauma after trauma there's definitely not simply ONE traumatic event that's defined me#also wondering in another area if it's just adhd autism overlap#or maybe i AM autistic afterall just VERY VERY good at masking it or compensating for it#or if i have the same subcategory of Bipolar a former friend had that commonly gets misdiagnosed as the former two#which is likely bc all my blood relatives have gotten diagnosed with a form of bipolar and im not joking#idk man i just wish i knew wtf is wrong with me and how to like...do something about it but like actually#and not just focus on the depression or anxiety because that's CLEARLY NOT HELPING#yes im depressed and severely anxious but dont u think they might have a ROOT CAUSE#i'm definitely convinced and have been for years that they stem from something else#deeper and more of an issue than anyone trying to study wtfs wrong w me has figured out including me
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hey i've been in a psych ward in southeast europe. it was necessary, and it fucking sucked. genuinely, no one mistreated me, it's just that the doctors have very little time for each individual patient and i was truly at rock bottom. and overall. it still saved my life. it was a safe unchanging environment with a routine and people who knew what i was going through. it was weird being the youngest there at 21, it was weird getting the pills from the nurses in tiny paper envelopes one at a time, it was weird and sucky and uncomfortable as fuck. if it came to that again, tho, i would do it again bc my alternatives were all so much worse. i wish you so so so much luck and wellbeing, stay strong, mwahmwah from another mentally ill girlie.
this is v v helpful information thank u so much!!
#im definitely at rock bottom myself but i feel like i still have a strong enough support system to not 'need it' if that makes sense#but idk how much of that is just my imposter syndrome talking#we'll see!! the doctor did sign me up for some crisis help and there's two people coming to my house tomorrow to assess my situation#so thats a bit scary cause they could just be like. mmmnn we're locking u up!#but as far as im aware im not a danger to anyone but myself so the chances of that are slim?? i think??#im also on the fence bc. on the one hand a controlled environment away from everything sounds nice but on the other hand#the thought of someone else in control#someone i dont trust or even know#is extremely scary#we'll see we'll see we'll see#but thank u for being so vulnerable to share this just to help me! i really appreciate it#oh do let me know if ud like me to delete this from my blog tho!
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Okay i have yet to see a post about this that isnt filled with ppl being Annoying as Fuck on it, but,
theyve found wreckage of the submersible, it imploded (thank god, thats better than a drawn out suffocation over the course of several days, implosion means it was pretty much instantaneous) and the us navy have revealed they heard a weird sound on sunday from about where communication with the sub was lost, that was probably the sound of the implosion, [implied that they didnt say anything cos they didnt want to jump to conclusions without evidence of a wreckage, if there was a chance they were still alive.] no idea what the banging sounds were.
I do hope rescue efforts are extended to the migrants off the coast of greece, and am angry and horrified at their mistreatment, and that the media clearly cares less for their fates than that of the billionaires on the sub.
also, while i have you here,
The difference between a submersible and a submarine is not that one is safer. The titan was a submersible that was unsafe, but that is not because it was a submersible.
A submarine (or sub) is a watercraft capable of independent operation underwater.
A submersible is a watercraft designed to operate underwater, usually supported by a nearby surface vessel, platform, shore team or sometimes a larger submarine.
submarines generally dont go as deep as our deepest submersibles, but some can be down there for months at a time bc it is like. a self sufficient Ship. not all submersibles can go crazy deep, but to my knowledge, the only crewed vessels that can go that deep, are submersibles. (Alvin, deepsea challenger, limiting factor, trieste, fendouzhe or "striver").
#toy txt post#titan submersible#if ppl start being annoying on this post. ill turn off reblogs and block all of you. make your own post.#reblog the other ones where people are already being annoying#yes i hate billionaires. but im glad it was a quick death. it was a horrific situation. hope those migrants are given support and help.#i hope oceangate is fined to hell and back and bankrupted and never gets to put anyone in any sort of vehicle ever again#especially not in the ocean. im a little glad that ceo is dead in his own stupid sub im just frustrated he was able to take other ppl with#him. the fact that he was able to operate that unregulated non safety standard meeting ass vehicle and charge people money to ride in it is#fucking insane and unconcioable however you spell that#and now i need to go shower real quick and try to get like. a little over 3hrs of sleep. which will suck but i did accidentally nap for#like? 2 hrs already so it doesnt suck as bad as it could. goodnight please dont be stupid on this post please please please#if you have a hot take on the situation im begging you to hot take it Some Where Else! thank you! good bye#im not gonna bother linking shit feel free to fact check just fuckin. google titan submersible. James Cameron is tossing his 2 cents in now#saw 2 separate articles on that already. thats fine i guess he has been down there in safer vehicles so i guess he can shit talk how unsafe#it is. anyway. saw someone in the comments of a post say it was a submersible bc it was too unsafe to be a submarine and i wanted to start#screaming. thats not what those fucking words mean! at all! god!#irl death#idk what else to tag#behave. bye
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another thing I enjoy about asmos character is that we get hints about some of his past romantic relationships
Im sure the other brothers have engaged with others in the past but actually getting to read about it is interesting to me
#obey me asmodeus#i wanna learn everything about this character hah#it makes him feel more real the more info i get#also this info in particular makes sense for his type of character#being the avatar of lust and having so much love in his body#and ik it sounds weird cause#“ahh this is a self indulgent dating game we dont wanna hear about them being interested in others or having past lovers"#but i think it ENHANCES the importance of asmo falling for MC in the end (thats the whole point of “flirty” types tho)#also im nosy...im down to know!#trying to date changed my brain chemistry#me before would have not cared i think#anyways i refuse to believe none of the brothers other than asmo havent been interested in anyone other than mc#like only mc?#are u sure....#idk how to say it without sounding mean#but....thousands of years of existence and u never looked at anyone else other than mc?#no crushes even?#if they were aromantic it would make sense but they aren't cause mc (and even then people can experiment)#ik its fictional self indulgence but...it feels so unrealistic i cant take it seriously#when a character is only capable of falling in love with mc#and apparently NO ONE ELSE in the whole wide world#im already like “...hmmm naur” but now factor in that the character is not human and has been around for a very long time....#like theyve had to met so many people by now please be for real right now#well thats my spiel but i feel like i can keep rambling about this honestly
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this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh
#and i might do it again bc its just#a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc#which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow#it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag#people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just#so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what#like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao#and it never ever used to#but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly#or whatever the make believe rules are idk#this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus#bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community#and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit#bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were#i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year#but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad#once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care#ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control#i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile#and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be#a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion#so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao#why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things????#i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just#ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand#so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time#but yeah anyways idk !#be nice its so easy !#tbd
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ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw
#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together#(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai#idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad#i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that#why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it#its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one#usually on tiktok or tumblr#if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you#theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen#it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs#and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE#AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF#the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me#and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess#okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway#meows post
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look at this and feel nothing challenge failed
#sorry i have no idea who took this i found it already reposted on twt#i also have nothing to say#like#what do i even say#let me just.....idk. die in peace over here#seonghwa#fio.txt#nahhhhhhhhhhhh he's not real he can't hurt me#thats a lie and also this is in no ones tag so i can have a break down here without bothering anyone#bc i feel like i need that rn#he's so pretty omg how does he just look like that????#3/3 of posts i made today involved smiley hwa and i thought that was a great idea but its not because HELLO#what am i supposed to do? just watch the time go past and have done nothing but stare at this pic?#i should have gone to sleep like 2.5 hours ago actually but well here i am again#what else is new#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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legitimately wanna die bc i keep checking his blog and thinking obsessively about him and then i get pangs in my chest as i realize that he doesnt care abt me bc he has someone else again so he doesnt think of me and im sitting here going crazy bc i want him so bad but he doesnt want me he wants someone else 🥴
#i know i sound crazy but yeah like idk what to do i wanna die ^-^#bc like ok im here alone in my room with no friends no life no nothing. i have no one to talk to#i have nobody in the whole wide world to talk to... and im crying and all i can think abt him#while he is talking to the person he wants. and he's not crying all alone bc he loves me and wants me so bad#you see??? thats why im going crazy bc he'll be ok he has someone while i wont be ok and i dont have anyone#i dont even have a friend to talk to and cry to and be comforted by. i have no one.#and the loneliness is so suffocating and i see my future and i have been alone my entire life and i will always be alone#i just want a gun and off myself (not bc of him specifically but bc of the loneliness i've always had)#like idk i just cant let go of the fact that im crying checking his blog#while he isnt checking my blog at all and he isnt thinking of me at all bc he is thinking of her#yk that in of itself is so humiliating and so cruel 💀#and i know i sound ridiculous but idk im trying to read and im trying to watch smth and i just cant stop hurting#i can go non contact and try to forget him#but that will hurt so fkn bad bc he is all i want#but then i rmbr that im not what he wants#so what? will i just message him once every couple of months? all the while he'll have someone else#why would he even want to keep talking to me???? lmao like if he has someone why would he wanna talk to me at all?#and how am i gonna be ok w talking to him abt idk the fkn weather while i really wanna be in love w him but i cant bc he isnt mine???#but how am i supposed to just not talk to him ever again when he is the one person... i wanna talk to all day and know everything abt#which.. is the issue bc i feel that way abt him but he doesnt feel that way abt me bc hes wanting that with her#it just... doesnt work so idk what to do#it hurts that he found someone else to be worthy of a chance but not me.... i wasnt worth a chance
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