#idk idk I'm just thinking general thoughts bc i wanna make sure all of the pieces are shaking hands nicely with each other

[frenchy-and-the-sea]

I picked up working on Seven Cities again (trying to be really cool about it, trying not to make it a Thing or a Big Deal so I don't stress myself into being afraid of it, trying to be SO CHILL ABOUT IT) and this newest iteration opens with a prologue from Tahir and I am.... actually having a lot of fun. Freeing myself from the expectation that this has gotta be a serious thing has given a chance to show off his skill of being Good At Reading People. I'm enjoying it. I hope I don't freak myself out too much about it.

[why-the-heck-not]

Hi! Do you have any tips to stopping mindlessly scrolling on social media (or phones in general)? 😅

honestly I'm not the best at this still. Like my screen time's still like 2-4h, but these are the things I've done that got it down from actually life threatening amounts

this is the main thing and also the most boring obvious one: delete all the apps that make u go to that "scrolling mindlessly"-mode. For me, was the basics like instagram, tiktok etc. My achilles' heel with this is this godforsaken app (tumblr), bc I keep redownloading it damnit

the approach is that if I'm gonna be consuming content, I'm gonna be mindful abt it, and not just hate-watch 3 negative video essays from Youtube in a row (my fave bc I'm a hater at heart). Instead, I'll watch a show I like, which actually works better at being a legit break-/chill-time, and doesn't fill me up with ''we're all fucked''-void. Actually sitting down to have the chill 20-40mins feels like a longer time than ad filled 20min x 3.

lots is bc of just getting so damn annoyed over ads that I close youtube the moment there is like 2 unskippable ads bc fuck u. Honestly I've gotten to the point I could just delete youtube as well just out of spite abt the fucking ads (hater at heart). So idk, start to develop a personal vendetta against ads, I guess

figuring out something to fill up the time bc realistically u won't just be studying/working more. My fave is walks (tho yeah that doesn't work if u have like a 5min time window; still don't know what to do with those hence redownloading Tumblr on for the third time in a day), and just sitting & thinking abt whatever the fuck is stuck there in my mind (braindead to say that "recently I've gotten into thinking" but like. yeah. (daydreaming is like a serious dear hobby to me))

podcasts are nice. Sure still is like somewhat social media thing-ish, but at least u can do something whilst listening to it. Like multitasking with a podcast & something stupid vs. my old habit of "gonna scroll a bit before starting to do this boring thing I don't wanna do". Doing the dishes and listening to a podcast is super chill

when there's the "gonna pick up my phone when I literally have no reason to & am just looking for any distraction": stop and reconsider like why are u doing that (with me, it's either I'm anxious, stressed or bored and there are better ways to deal with those. This is where the fan favorite of "sitting & thinking" comes in a lot of the times, which sometimes isn't much better and is sometimes detrimental to my wellbeing bc thought spiral, but hey nothing's perfect)

[sugar-omi]

TRANS MASC COVE TRANS MASC COVE (sfw +nsfw hcs pls,, id love your thoughts)

NO BC NOW YOU'VE PUT THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD N I NEED HIM DESPERATELY eta while im in the middle of writing: after this i... i can no longer hold onto my fem!cove thoughts. n i am eating up trans!cove like a starving ANIMAL.

tags : SFW + NSFW, transmasc (ftm) cove, switch cove/reader, some mentions of body/gender dysmorphia, im sure theres 1 transphobe walking around sunset bird so the smallest mention of that clown

SFW

i've been seeing a lotta top surgery scar tattoos on my twt timeline lately, and pls some of them i need for myself bc they're so!!!! pretty!!!!

so i can definitely see him getting tattoos there

not because he wants to cover em up, i just think he sees so many flash sheets over time that he's SOLD

mmm i wanna say that fem/afab!cove would have small boobs

or B cups at most

either way, i almost wanna say that his boobs before surgery wouldn't bother him as much unless someone was sexualizing him or he was exercising n his boobs were bouncing too much or smth like that

even then its usually complaints of, "ugh, this bra isn't supportive..." or something like that

ofc he still has his moments

i also think he only binds sometimes, rarely

doesn't do it often since it's often hot outside, or especially if he's sporty, its uncomfortable

(also looked it up just to be sure) but since he's always on the beach its inconvenient/unnecessary to wear if he can't wear it in the water

but like i said i think he'd be pretty flat/small anyway, so i think he's okay

mm definitely doesn't give up having long hair, or wearing the occasional dress/skirt ofc

but will correct one of the old sunset bird residents if they try and say "see honey, it was a phase, you're wearing a dress today!"

also idk abt yall, n this is more of a general thought, but i feel like step 2 cove's impulse control is. deathly low.

so one day, he has long/long-ish hair

and the next he has a mullet, wolf cut, or buzz cut.

he's so chaotic to me pls

now i've had fem!cove on my mind for weekssss now

so i'm not just saying this

but cove is still buff

thick muscly thighs, NICE ARMS. REALLY NICE ARMS

mm so i feel like he looks pretty androgynous or masc anyway

now im projecting here.

but cove has irregular periods, n they're pretty heavy most the time

or lasts awhile (ok im done projecting. sorry cove</3)

also think he deals with cramps (IM SORRY COVE)

i think his period is the biggest trigger of his body/gender dysmorphia too

although i think fem!cove would hate her period anyway altho tbf who doesnt

he'd definitely appreciate some comfort!!!

bring him another heating pad, your comfiest hoodie or blanket and snacks

he's very happy for the thoughtfulness and the company

step 2 cove would definitely be moved by such thoughtfulness... he's in tears

so after the first time it's a trend to spend time together in his bed, watching movies or something while he's cuddled into your side or next to you in a cove-rrito, all sleepy n comfy...

NSFW

had to stop writing the SFW to write this bc i had a thought

cove laid out all pretty... his chest rising and falling and he's all teary eyed as you're between his legs, eating his cunt until he's seeing stars.

pls his cunt with be so sensitive, and he'd be so pretty to fuck

would shake so much too

his thighs quivering so bad he clamps around your hand

you'd have to hold his legs up so he doesn't nearly flatten your head between his thick thighs

"y/n!" cove cries, his hands tangled in your hair and he's trying so hard not to squish your head between his thighs, but your tongue is flat against his sensitive clit, sucking and bullying the poor button while your fingers make a loud, sloppy mess of his hole.

he whines, hips shaking in your hands.

you tighten your grip on his waist, your fingers digging into the flesh, grumbling irritably around his clit but cove just cries out a loud moan and slurred word, torn between your name, a cuss word, and a cry for god.

you pull of his clit, your fingers still curling against that spongy spot inside his sloppy walls. "stay still, you're gonna crush my head..." you start to kiss his thighs, small kisses turning into you sucking deep hickeys into his tan skin, and that turning into biting.

cove gasps for air, his eyes fluttering closed as he squirms.

"fuck, y/n, please..." he mumbles, tugging at the bedsheets.

you stop the assault on his thighs, leaning up on your elbows so you can give cove a kiss, your lips lazily moving together...

anyway... horny aside for a moment<333

mm i could see cove not getting or really wanting bottom surgery

i think trans cove would be pretty comfortable with his body's appearance overall

and he's probably read into it a lot since it's not like he hasn't thought about it, i could just see him probably deciding its not something he wants

ARGGHH HE'D BE A DEMON WITH THE STRAP THOUGH

ahh. cove holding you down or folding your legs against your chest while he slams his hips against yours...

his strap hitting your poor prostate / cervix, he'd coo about how cute your whines are and that you're making him leak

would definitely upset he can't fill you up w cum

especially if you wanna get pregnant, rambles about how much he wishes he could fill you up with his cum again and again and again...

arghhh fuck imma lose my MIND

definitely takes advantage of those squirting dildos

can at least admire how you look oozing milky lube

omfg definitely wakes up all excited to tell you if he dreamed about it too...

has an array of straps

we already know he has a tentacle dildo or two deep in his closet...

yeah tries them out on you

"don't get tired yet, i have one more.. and it has a knot!!!"

he just likes to experiment on you a little~~ bit <333

ohh please tell him he looks handsome/sexy while you're giving him head

he'll die.

FUCK HE'D GO CRAZY IF YOU RIDE HIM TOO I KNOW IT

yeah he's still the same cute, secretly horny, big crybaby pookie <3333 i love him pls

[inchidentally]

https://www(.)autosport(.)com/f1/news/stella-singles-out-exceptional-japan-f1-podium-as-piastris-2023-highlight-/10559510/

I think you've posted about Andrea Stella's relationships with Lando and Oscar before and I've been thinking about this and just needed to share my thoughts with someone.

when Oscar talks about his best weekends, its always Qatar where he felt like he really maximized his result and SIlverstone which he talks about as one of his most complete performances despite missing that podium.

When it comes to Japan and his first podium, it's like he's happy with the result and what that meant for the team, but it's not actually a weekend he reflects on super positively in terms of his race. I feel like he's never the one bringing it up, it's always like a reporter being like "and Japan?" and he's just like "yeah I guess that was nice too", but he doesn't really talk about it as a personal highlight (even though I'm sure he isn't like... upset over it, just not a performace he rates as his strongest).

all that to say I love that Andrea actually picks out his qualifying performace there as a highlight of his season, because it was! it just feels really subtlely supportive of him to bring up a moment that Oscar doesn't really talk about himself, and kind of got lost in all the comparisons or race pace between him and Lando.

idk i just needed to tell someone this lol

oh anon and I am so glad you shared it with me bc I wanna go offfff

truly this quote is the kind of thing I could see making Oscar feel emotional about and puff up with pride. it's the sort of meticulous score card that his big brained A-levels overachieving ass must eat up with a spoon:

"In terms of speed, in terms of capacity to learn very rapidly, in terms of collaborating with his engineers and extracting the information that he needs to grow so rapidly, in terms of his own awareness of where he is in the various stages to go from: ‘I know nothing about this track, first time in a Formula 1 car' to being P2 on the grid. And also the way he keeps himself calm, controlled – therefore always capitalising on his potential because he doesn’t create any unnecessary stress - that’s quite exceptional. And I can see why he was so successful in junior categories."

and god, the stern but loving dad role Andrea has taken with Lando and Oscar. especially when you think from Oscar's perspective how he was coming into a team fresh off of a dramatic court case and filling a seat that everyone - including Lando - was still deep in mourning over. from what I remember Oscar's "promo" by McLaren was more like something they'd do to announce a new reserve driver rather than Lando's new teammate. especially considering the weeks of emotionally overwrought posts and content about Daniel leaving. I'm guessing a lot of that had to do with trying to mitigate the comment sections turning rancid on any Oscar content (and I'm being generous saying that). but there was exceptionally low fanfare attending Oscar's arrival, especially considering him having such a scorching record coming up to F1.

so for someone like Andrea to come into his new role and choose to watch Oscar so closely when Oscar was honestly sort of - either ignored or still hated bc of Daniel and Alpine - during those races before Silverstone has come good in the huge revolution of public opinion about Oscar. Lando was already comfortably at home and only needed a little managing. side note I love how many times in challenges Lando would pretend to pout and say "Andrea said there has to be balance and fairness between teammates sooooo" akgfkasgs he had Lando's number already <3

but for all that Oscar has been a trooper about having to kind of operate without the kind of consistent found family that Lando has and dealt with the press and DTS dutch angle drama interviews in such a mature way idk. I feel like sometimes Oscar sees himself as only existing as one of the drivers once he's actually in the car. he's never found that footing of becoming one of the F1 personalities the way that even Logan has (thank you Williams and thank you Alex).

a lot of the time you could confuse Oscar's presence in the garage and the paddock with another engineer. and tbh when you consider how much of an online meme he was in F2 and F3 and how strong his twitter game was it definitely feels like he's intentionally suppressing his personality to maybe ? just get through his rookie F1 season with as little drama as possible. I've gone on and on and on abt how Prema Oscar would have made the perfect fan favorite dynamic with Lando the same way he was with Arthur or Robert. but Oscar's personality has only come out on camera a few times and otherwise he just watches Lando or stiffly gets through his own parts.

that's why I had to compile these instances of Andrea seeking Oscar out and being so incredibly tender with him. Lando is the always beloved child at McLaren and he absolutely earned that. but he was also definitely thrown by Oscar choosing to go so quiet and under the radar - I don't think in a bad way, but I will be interested to see the clips from DTS that haven't been chopped to hell so we can get a better glimpse of that.

but someone in higher authority than Lando needed to go out of their way to regularly remind Oscar that yes, he's One of The Big Boys and yes, McLaren is his home now. he has as much right as the rest of the drivers all feel to stand up and ask for what they want and speak for themselves and even cause a little trouble if they feel they need to. an F1 grid are always drama queens to some degree because they're basically the lead singers of a band. they had to as Lando rightly said "be fairly selfish" to get to their rarefied position. not that they're bad people at all, just that they have to treat themselves as of utmost importance in order to achieve the performance and mentality to even get a shot at F1. but not only is Oscar not naturally like that (his forms of self-care involve sleep and seeing friends lol) he certainly wasn't going to stir things up anymore than he already had.

but! what Oscar does have is incredible courage, unflappable calm and towering competitiveness. like I said once he gets in the car his focused self-belief overtakes everything else. the amount of times his rookie season it was down solely to the car or to other drivers that resulted in taking him out of a race or knocking him down the grid as opposed to pure rookie error or personal mistakes is amazing. and guess who said that back in August:

"For us being in this journey with Oscar, it makes it even more exciting, because it was very clear right from the start – the level of talent.

“Even the analytical behaviour, looking at things, trying to learn, and at the same time always remaining very calm. He is able to absorb things, execute things, always staying very calm, which I think is a strong point of Oscar.”

and guess who gives us some of the best insights to the kind of driver Oscar is when no one else can? (apart from sexy daddy Mark ofc)

“I think the quality which, if you want, maybe one of the key enablers [of] why he can grow so rapidly is just the man beyond the driver,” Stella told GP Blog. “He’s so calm. He’s so good at keeping himself in a status in which he can use the best of his talent.

“I don’t have that quality, I have to think very actively about ‘What am I thinking? What are my emotions?’ I have to think about my psychology to actively keep myself in the most productive state. For Oscar, this seems to come quite naturally. That’s the main enabler.

“I think he, potentially, has a natural gift. Or, maybe he worked throughout his young career through that. I don’t know. But, certainly, he’s remarkable. And even when I’ve seen great drivers currently or in the past, all of them sort of sometimes underperformed because they don’t stay in the status in which they give their best. I think, for Oscar, this is quite natural.”

oh and guess who also tells us the most about the fact that Lando has taken his role as established driver and leader seriously wrt Oscar and how well they've complemented each other?

“So Lando can say ‘ok, we can do this in this corner’, and so on. And likewise, obviously, for Oscar with Lando. The second element, which is remarkable this year, is how similar the comments are between the two drivers.

“And this is not only in the off-line debriefings, but it's also when the drivers come back after they run the first run during a session. They actually use the same terminology, like it looks like they are in communication before reporting their feedback.”

papa is giving his boys their props!! they did him proud and he's not going to hold back on telling the world!

and I even love how Lando and Oscar both choose Silverstone without any hesitation as their favorite race of 2023 and that Lando said how much Oscar deserved to be up there with him. that's exactly what Andrea had instilled in them and shows his values have fully sunk in.

you're absolutely right anon, we should never forget that Andrea is the one who went to Oscar when Oscar needed it and that Andrea established the team culture that has let someone like Oscar thrive at the same time as someone so different from him like Lando.

.

.

articles sourced:

[boarwinds]

talk more of your snowbaird headcanons please!!! lmao does Coriolanus and Lucy Gray have a breeding kink or something?

How is the wedding of Lucy Gray and Coriolanus turn out?

LMAO is it obvious 🤓 they definitely do.

I think lucy gray loves the idea of a big family as she grew up in one but it's more of a fantasy than smth she would actually want just bc imagine the stress every year during the reaping. I imagine she's more worried abt the rest of the covey than herself n that's enough to taint the fantasy of a family with lots of kids. Even tho she doesn't wanna admit it, being w coryo means her kids are safe from the games n it eats her up bc he can fulfill her fantasy

For coryo,,,, he would want kids as soon as possible bc he wants to meet as many generations of descendants as possible u kno, he loves seeing physical evidence of his legacy. Tbh I think his goal started out as 1 kid to be The Heir but finding out lucy gray had twins altered his brain chemistry n now he wants to fill up his mansion w little lucy grays except they all look like him LMFAO. Either way it's a win for him bc he's a a bit of a narcissistic freak. Also him missing out on lucy Gray's first pregnancy prob had him so fucked up, fists balled like arthur so he's happy to keep her round w his babies year round intentionally or not 🤓☝️

TLDR;

Lucy gray grew up in a big family -> wants that for her kids

Coryo grew up in a small family -> wants as many kids to expand the Snow empire, no more worrying abt the Snow bloodline ending w him or tigris

Haven't thought abt their wedding but he would absolutely make it a spectacle. Maybe a national holiday even LMAO. I'm thinking it'll also make it easy to address how tf he has 2 kids out of nowhere n w the 10th victor of all ppl (ppl rmb their love story but she had been rumored to be dead) n he'd spin it to be him hiding her n their kids for their own safety (why? idk yet), imagine the fight at home after that lawl lucy gray would need to beat his ass for that for sure

[rosy6maple6mothman6]

So I just finished xiaolin showdown: I wanna talk about it. Spoilers.

I really liked the show! I knew I would thanks to childhood memories of it but I think it holds up alright even today! Imma break it down in what I Did like and what I Didn't like (I think Imma make a different post talking about the Wu). This is longer than I thought it would be. I'm sorry.

What I liked

The Wu themselves, love me magic shit even if they get repetitive at times(fr there are like 4 that just give the power to fly).

I fucking love Jack Spicer and Clay Bailey. They are my boys do you hear me! Love how Jack just won't quit and how Clay is just so painfully Texas. My bois

Love the magic in general! How all die of the main characters get to master their element and get special weapons and gear to help. Wish there was more time to flush all of it out tho ,but hey what can you do(other than post head canons).

Dojo Kanojo Cho

Just his name is fucking amazing, and I did like some of his jokes

And his powers were cool! I wish we could have seen the limits of his shapeshifting powers.

I did like wuya and wish we could have seen her do more witchy things.

Chase Young was also very cool.

I also like panda bubba's design and I kinda wish there was more of him. I wanna do things to him DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

I already said this BUT I just love how all of them got individual weapons that I don't think were Shen Gong Wu? I think.

Master fung and dojo... Had a very odd relationship. I'm 90% sure they were at least fucking by how dojo acted when he went to a different temple and after that it was just very. Weird.nit Bad weird but still.

Wish we could have seen more of their families. kimono's dad was fucking adorable. I want to fuck her dad

Also Love le mime!!! I also wanna fuck him, I am not taking. criticism at this time

I also liked Jermaine and wish he could have been able to join fully or show up more.

Over all love this show.

What I didn't like

How they treated Jack. Idk man I just thought it was weird how the heros tournamented him so much? Like ya he's a ass but like, y'all are the heros why are you acting borderline worse than him???

I also kinda wish he could have officially joined the xiaolin side, I feel like they alluded to him switching multiple times but then he never does and I think that was a waste.

LET JACK BE THE DRAGON OF METAL.

LET JACK MAKE THEM AN AWESOME DEFENSE SYSTEM.

LET JACK DO A FAKE OUT WHERE HE PRETENDED TO GO BAD AND THEN FUCK THE BADDIES UP WITH SABOTAGE.

Idk dude he deserved betted

Also didn't like how he started out at Least semi competent but then just became a pathetic joke? And not even fuc pathetic. He's not a wet dog he's just pathetic.

I wish we could have seen Raimundo's family if not just a sibling or his parents, just something.

Fuck Clay's dad. Not in a hot way. I hate him.

Omi had such an ego. Like dude, please stop.

I really wish we could have seen more of Fung and Omi's relationship. I kinda wish it was more father and son rather than teacher and student since it seems like Omi lived there his entire life.

I also wish we saw more of Fung being badass. I feel there was a lack of that.

I'll say it again, there are a bunch of shen gong wu that kinda just repeat? And some Wu that don't seem like they should be categorize as Wu? Idk I'll make a different post about it bc there a lot to say.

Le mime was cool and I want to know more about him.

I want to know more about almost everyone honestly.

Give Me Their Backstories. Please

This is all I can think of ATM. I'll add more later probably.

Thank you if you made it down here. Let me know what's your fav and least fav about xs.

[tragedry]

I read it in a post somewhere that said Tyler shouldn't be shipped with anyone, what do you think about that?

well, i'm not gonna go out of my way and pick a fight with that random blog just bc they said something i don't agree with, that's for sure.

idk why you're even asking me for my thoughts on a matter i'm not directly involved with (unless that blog is specifically targeting me, in which case then i'd like to know who they are) cause, it's not like the person who posted that was looking to change their mind regarding their opinion.

fandom spaces isn't meant to have a hive mind where we all need to agree on everything, we all have different opinions on certain matters, and as long as people keep to themselves and don't start petty ship wars, i feel like we can all coexist without having to agree on just one hc or ship.

again, people have different viewpoints and interests, even those in the same fandom, so i'm sure we all have different opinions and takes about these characters and who to ship with who, so as long as you stay respectful and not like be weird or bully other people for what they like then i see no need to make a counter argument for that post about why i personally ship tyler with ashlyn, and why i don't agree with that person's opinion.

idrk if your ask is meant to insinuate an argument with me or with the person who wrote that post, but if you generally just wanna know my thoughts, then let me summarize this for you in a short: i don't care if other people don't like ashler as a ship, i will continue to ship tyler and ashlyn together bc i like this ship and it makes me happy. when it comes to curating my fandom experience, only my likes and interests matter.

(personally, i highly encourage you to have a similar mindset when it comes to interacting with fandom!)

[irritablepoe]

favourite poe hcs??

:))))

oh anon i don't think you know what you've done

okay i'll list some headcanons and then i'll make a cut and list some further headcanons which contain spoilers for my fic that i haven't published yet, so they'll be major spoilers of what's to come!! you can decide if you wanna read them before ranpo finds these out hehe >:3

(if you don't read the fic that's irrelevant tho, enjoy the hcs ^^)

also pls note these are my personal hcs you ofc don't have to agree with them :3

ok first of all poe is absolutely unscareable, he could watch any horror movie and be deeply fascinated by it rather than afraid

exceptions are when there's a scene where many people talk over each other, he gets very overstimulated by that (also like in general not only in movies)

he can hear heartbeats more sensitively than a normal human being

he has relatives in america but doesn't talk to them a lot, especially since he isolated himself after ranpo defeated him

similar to irl poe i'd say his father left and his mother died when he was young leaving him and his siblings behind - they get adopted by their aunt & uncle, tho henry and poe move out quite quickly to get their own place

used to host big events in his mansion, he is very prideful of his deduction abilities after all and he's actually quite famous for solving multiple big crimes that got a lot of attention (like scandals and stuff)

(that's why he's so bummed out when ranpo defeats him too)

karl lingered outside his mansion before poe took him in; poe realised he was injured and took him to a vet; they bonded over that and karl just stayed bc poe got him food and was comfortable to sit on

always has candy for ranpo everywhere despite not being a big fan of candy

deals with dissociation and intrusive thoughts; has problems with idealization of people (see ranpo)

has been dealing with some sort of substance addiction in his time between his duel with ranpo and his revenge part

has issues with chronic pain bc of that as well

has a raccoon plushie for karl for when he's gone

loves writing with an actual quill but has been made fun of

has some odd knowledge about the human body that might or might not be concerning

hates swimming. i mean hates. loathes, in fact.

loves to rot away in bed and think while drifting in and out of consciousness (sameee)

is always cold (uses ranpo as a heater lol)

can solve basic code

loves bitter tasting things (tea, dark chocolate, strong coffee etc)

is insecure about his face + his body in general that's why he wears his hair like that and so many layers

ok now for the spoilers (if you don't want to read further than this, ty dear anon for letting me ramble about this and ty ty for reading :3)

i love the theory that an ability manifests as a kind of response to either trauma or a major change in their life, so - my theory or hc, whatever, is that poe wasn't an ability user before he met ranpo. obviously the first time they meet ranpo doesn't know about his ability and hasn't experienced it before. poe seems to find confidence in his ability and i think he'd have mentioned it before if he'd met ranpo in a setting that would also be in relation (in terms of mysteries and stuff) to it

i'm very sure or i'd like to think poe manifested his ability as a way of escapism but also as a way of determination (drawing people into his story i mean, you can't get further in being a successful detective writer than this ability yk)

also poe was a detective before they met, i'd guess he still wrote stuff but he switched almost completely once he was defeated by ranpo and barely solved any crimes anymore (maybe only over text or sth idk)

all this results ofc in a feeling of inferiority in poe who before ranpo came along was probably quite prideful - which leads me to believe he thinks of ranpo as a rival that has corrupted his mind but also as someone he is thankful for, which makes all of this wayyyy more complicated than it seems on the surface

poe thinks he's tied to ranpo and therefore cannot say no to him or pretend for long enough that he doesn't care; he actively puts himself in situations he doesn't like bc of ranpo and helps him when he really doesn't have to - he could just walk away. but he doesn't

he also exclusively uses his ability for or against ranpo, we've not seen him use it outside of it and tbh i don't think he's ever used it otherwise (except when it manifested, tho i don't know how it could've manifested tbh. like how do you find sth like this out?)

in my fic henry (his brother) knows at least a fraction of all this and asks for poe to get himself something unrelated to ranpo, which he does, which is why i think poe is also an artist, tho less skilled than in his writing but he finds fun in it

he keeps it a secret from ranpo (he will eventually open up tho)

yea. i think that's it for now, ty again anon and ty for everyone reading so far, i hope i'll not disappoint in putting this into the fic :D

[floof-ghostie]

casually leans on wall and hands you a microphone. how was the spiderverse experience i want all the deets (ive already watched it dw about spoilers👍🏾)

Ohhhh Strap in we're gonna be here for a while (Imma do this in point form for this, because so many thoughts, no energy for real paragraphs

Okay the animation. THE ANIMATION MEDIUMS. So many cool methods. I loved the colour changes in Gwen's universe. HOBIE'S ENTIRE THING, THE WAY HE'S ANIMATED OMG

Mumbattan is such a cool city, I love mashing irl cities to make one cool megacity so much it's such a lil fave worldbuilding thing of mine

Pavitr is so great, I love him, idek how to talk about him I just like him a lot. Him and his gf make such a cute pair too!

Also him saying "I don't use product, just coconut oil, prayer, and good genetics". I love him

The chai tea scene. God he's so great

THe character design is amazing and sososososo cool!! I love that we see the characters change (Gwen's hair growing longer and pinker, Miles' growth spurt, Peter B.'s bathrobe, MAYDAY's LIL SPIDER HAT THAT MJ PROLLY MADE FOR HER).

I love Pravitr's costume glowup. Thank you to whoever arranged for that.

Also, Hobie??? His lace coded boots?? His locs??? HIS FUCKING PIERCINGSSS??? HOW HE COMPARED A FUCKING VOID TO CAPITALISM??? Him taking a liking to Mayday, and straight up SHOWING MILES HOW TO GET OUT OF THE FORCE FIELD WITH A LIL SMIRK?!!! I need him. Need his gender. I love his anarchist ass.

His design really calls back to the punk scene in England, and I love the way he reminds me of old newspapers

Speaking of Hobie, holy shit that guy was flirting with Miles. I know what you are (pls Hobie do u like enbies?)

"I hate the AM, I hate the PM (prime minister probably, idk for sure) AND I HATE LABELS" I love you

Daniel Kaluuya, thank you for your service.

Also Hobie and Gwen make such a funny friendship. But I don't ship them.

The themes of growing up, and Miles' parents being worried about Miles and the people he's with...I nearly cried in the theatre, and I don't normally cry during stuff.

You can just tell that black people were making the big decisions for this movie. Aaron and Rio asking Miles why he took the braids out. Jeff and Rio being like "On time means 5 minutes early", I felt so at home watching this movie. I'm not even from Brooklyn but I just felt so at home at all the interactions Miles had with his neighbors. Even the random storeowner.

Like ppl were speaking aave, using patois, Hobie's accent. And none of that was played for laughs (except for Hobie's lingo but that's a little different bc he's British)

I love how Miles' Ganke is so different from Peter Parker's Ganke. It's such a fun detail how Miles' Ganke was like "I'm not gonna be your guy in the chair".

I love that despite the general "Canon" for Spider Man, there are some differences! I love those intricate details!

And the way the lady in the office was so hasty to force the narrative of them "struggling" when that really wasn't the case? Hit real close to home. I just love the Davis-Morales family

I love the way that the Spot isn't like a general "mildly bad" villain like I originally assumed. I really thought he'd be kind of a "setup" villain, or something that they'd have to clean up and THEN Miles would take care of Miguel and them.

I especially love the way that The Spot is someone from the first movie, who we don't even know until his backstory is brought up.

His voice is also perfect too. He sounds like a complete loser.

Miguel O'Hara. Meet me outside, I just wanna talk

No For real though, he talks a lot of shit about Miles being "The Original anomaly" when his ass needs to inject himself with some kinda spider-fluid to maintain his powers??? Mind you, he tried to force himself into a reality that wasn't his.

This guy is just an A-class hater. What do you have against Miles, honestly???

On the subject of the Spider Verse I think it's so cool how there were so many callbacks to the original canon of Spiderman! I loved seeing the og live action Spider Men in the film too!

And the easter eggs! I couldn't keep up with them all!

Also, wtf was Childish Gambino there. I mean I'm not mad, I actually found Miles' staring at him really funny

I love Issa Rae's voice! But Jessica, queen, please don't fight, you is PREGNANT

Also idk why but for some reason I thought Jessica and Miguel were married in the beginning. Not completely sure.

Gwen being like "Can you adopt me?" when first meeting Jessica...She's so real

Also Gwen is so sososososo so so trans. It's so great

THE ENDING FUCKING DESTROYED ME ARE YOU KIDDING???? 42-Miles being the Prowler?? I'M NOT OKAY BUT I'M SO EXCITED to see what happens!!

But in all seriousness, all the feelings in the movie talked about and the the things left unresolved for the next movie is just. You can tell this was such a labour of love and all the animators were so happy and excited to work on it. I cannot wait for Beyond the Spider Verse!! I'm still buzzing!!

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi! I kinda need a second opinion on something from someone unbiased, so I hope you don’t mind me asking you.

I’m concerned I might be transphobic, or more accurately, that I have internalized transphobia. It’s kinda relevant so I’ll add that I’m Afab, genderfluid and Bi with a preference for women.

So my concern stems from that like, women with male anatomy make me uncomfortable. I don’t mean that interacting with trans ladies make me feel that, just like, the mental image of a hypothetical trans woman with the part. Other than that I don’t care.

the thing is, the grossed out feeling isn’t there when it’s a hypothetical trans man in my head. But in the opposite side, the idea of seeing the trans men I do know undressed makes me even more uncomfortable (as they’re my friends; most of my circle is made of trans boys). I actually don’t know any trans women irl, but once there’s a face to the name, I just assume it would be awkward but then we’d move on, if you know what I mean? Like the hypothetical trans girl weirds me out, but like not one I’ve met via the socials ig.

I don’t know if it’s like, internalized sexism and dislike for Cis Straight men ( I have a fear of men if that’s relevant. I’m trying to give you the full picture without any of my own personal biases, so I’m sorry if I’ve overloading you with useless facts about myself) or if it’s that bc I’m more attracted to women and I think male anatomy isn’t attractive?

I also don’t headcanon female characters as trans like I do for my favorite male characters. Not in a I-relate-to-the-transmasc experience sorta way but like, i don’t want my favorite female characters to be trans. Ew I don’t like that I feel that way EW.

Like, I’m actually pretty sure after typing all this out that I DO have some internalized stuff, and I just wanna know how to get rid of it. It’s not nice. I don’t wanna think and feel like that, because that’s gross.

Like, to reiterate I don’t like or have any opposition to talking, interacting etc with trans women. idk. Maybe it’s bc I’m trans opposite direction. Like I remember seeing trans women and being like “oh why would you want to be a girl” before I realized I shouldn’t like, be feeling that way so idk it could be related?

Usally I would just expose myself to that sorta stuff, ex: scrolling on the trans fem tag until it was normalized in my brain, but idk.

again, sorry to dump this on you! No pressure to answer I know it’s long!

Hi!!!

Sorry it took me a while to get back to you, I was honestly thinking through my answer.

So I'm not an expert and I'm not in your head, but it kind of sounds like a mixture of reasons.

You're transmasc, so you've said yourself that you don't identify as much with the transfem experience. That could be part of it.

You said you're not attracted to traditionally male anatomy and that could definitely be part of it as well. And that's nothing to be sorry about!

I also think it could be some internalized transphobia.

I think the most important part, though, is that you've said yourself that you haven't interacted much with mtf trans people. I think this is probably a huge part of the problem. You're probably basing a lot of your ideas and preconceived notions on stereotypes, you know? I would encourage you to like..think through some of the thoughts you have and where they come from. And what they're based on, if that makes sense? You're allowed to have preferences when it comes to sex and even what characters you read, but it seems like you might need to open your mind a bit more about mtf trans people in general.

I hope that helps!

[seokjinsonlyone]

most to least likely to end up with someone black

hoseok: idk i just get this feeling this vibe likeeeee it just make sense i see it like the way he carry himself like just look at the chicken noodle soup mv and tell me u can't see it and he literally has a song with j cole and if he in there with coleworld he is def in there wit da fam and then we got the whole time he had tinashe as his lockscreen and we all seen the my universe video like he took ole alien girl home idc idc and overall he just reminds me of my grandma so it make sense

jimin: no limit babe like i've seen this man bark at the thought of usher; and in general this year especially including his album jimin has just really been existing in spaces i didn't expect him to see and i am more than pleasantly surprised. like originally when i first made this he was near the bottom idk why bc he's literally performed to take you down but yeah he def up there now. like y'all remember that photo of him wit da choir for set me free SPEAKING OF SET ME FREE F YA OPPS?1!!1 HENNESSY AT NIGHT⁉️ LIKE IF BLACK PEOPLE HAD A REPRESENTATIVE BRAND OF LIQUOR IT WOULD BE HENNESSY LIKE COME ON and then just his personality is soooo i can't explain why he's all the way up here in this list properly but source: trust me bro

joon: listen we all know that joon be looking and be listening like he has a song with erykah badu with wale with anderson paak he be listening to musiq soulchild he is just made for a black woman (me) but he is a little further down on the list than i expected to put him only bc joon is just so korean and he loves korea and being korean that he might wanna keep it the country idk he definitely down for it tho we know he be looking and frfr this is just insurance for myself so if it don't happen i won't feel publicly played bc i called it but just know imma be somewhere on a ledge with my head in my hands wondering if i should do it or not okay kskslsk

yoon: u know i originally had yoongi near the bottom of the list solely bc he was a workaholic homebody and i was like he is not ending up with nobody much less somebody black if he spent all his time in his studio but now he in his social traveling era and i'm just like 🧐 bc clearly he has the ability to uphold foreign relationships (i.e. max, halsey...) and then i think about how he had all black backup dancers for his tonight show performance like i mean i'm not sure how much say they have in that kind of thing but it felt real deliberate to me and then there's the fact that yoongi just has the ability to look comfortable like he fit in anywhere like i'm thinking of that one photo where he was with one of juicewrld's producers and made homeboy look like he was the outsider in his own studio and then on tour it's clear that he got that dawg in him like he can handle his own he can handle ME which is crazy bc i be looking at men and knowing i'm way out of their depth but i'm telling you yoongi had the power to make me not look at jimin which is an insane ability so I'M JS idk if he would but he fo sho could if he wanted he got that lil poker face going so i'm not extremely confident but i can see it

jungkook: i’m not gon mention the fact that he said he liked girls with healthy sun kissed skin after that trip to la on american hustle life imma just leave that out i’ll also leave out normani at the bbmas what i will talk about is them meeting ms megan now ik jk claiming he ain’t shy no more but he still don’t be saying much except for when he met ms megan homeboy was showing up and showing out dancing talking teaching the choreo cackling for no reason man was grinning from ear to ear whole time nose got the workout of a lifetime from being continuously scrunched ALSO i mention this at least once a week but that r&b playlist he had going while he was folding his underwear???? my naega my naega u ain't listening to bryson tiller unless u is down for the cause but all this to say that it's really up in the air with him like as much as he could there is equal chance that he could not like he just got that pop propensity that sways him to the dark side but i could also see him ending up with someone east asian just as well which is fine with me or at least as fine as i can be knowing he's not with me

jin: as he is a permanent member of my bias line it really do hurt me a small amount that he is at the bottom of this list but i know my man 💅 i know mr “you can’t stop me i’m beyoncé” wouldn’t care about the racial difference at all like as long as y'all could communicate it's good in the hood and he is literally built like a black auntie like he would do so well at family functions rizzing up everybody from yo parents to yo grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins he would fit so well but like can i see it happening in reality??? idk idk he is the most unpredictable man i've ever come across so i can't say nun definitively

tae: there's a lot of reasons why he could why he should like idk man i can just see it in his eyes and then there’s like how much he loves old school soul music and his reaction to h.e.r. at the award show that shall not be named and like how he was meeting john legend and i’m also thinking about how social he is and how he likes to befriend everyone like the potential is there it's right there mind u i'm ignoring the current state of affairs but considering how enamored he is with europe like literally dressed up as a nobleman or whatever for his photobook and when he went to that old people jazz lounge and he is really into golf y'all i just don't see it fr but ya know anything's possible

[omegapheromone]

WuWa omegaverse dynamic headcanons, pt. 1: Alphas

I headcanon Calcharo as an alpha for 100% self-indulgent reasons. I think he's hot, I'm an omega, I'm mostly into men only and generally prefer alphas for the most part. What more do I need to say? I'm kissing him on the mouth as we speak btw /j

Honestly I don't know too much about Changli, I haven't been looking at spoilers too much and avoided trailers bc I wanna form my own opinion when she's added to game but I just get an alpha vibe from her? (she and jinhsi are married btw)

As for Jianxin, I think she could be a beta as well, but I think something about the way she was shown in the story so far made me think Alpha, just more of a loner type? I have some more thoughts on why I think she's an alpha but rn my brain isnt working enough to explain

Jiyan. While he has a more gentle side I think it's hard to imagine him as anything BUT an Alpha. I mean, he started out as a medic only to end up as THE general guy whom everyone looks up to. He's like literally THE protector of Jinzhou.

Lingyang is an interesting case to me actually. I could see him being either an alpha OR an omega but ultimately I think he'd more likely be an alpha with omega-like behaviors. Especially the implications that he is/was an ancient Suanni just kind of make me lean towards him being an Alpha even if his personality is fairly omega-like. It's just a sort of vibe I get? Plus idk I'd feel kind of strange about calling the one single small guy an omega, it's just kind of a tired stereotype to me? Like I was contemplating on placing him in a "hasn't presented yet" cathegory, were it not for the fact that he indeed implies quite strongly he's likely very old and also a mythical creature assuming a (mostly) human form. Idk I just think we need more small guy alpha representation overall.

Yinlin. Listen man. She throws puppets around, uses their strings as whips to crack in her ult animation, she looks like she's going to step on you whether you want it or not. Even in her story quest, I get the feeling she'a got a specific type of charisma that makes me think of Alphas. So, I tend to see her as an alpha.

Finally the absolute DILF that is Yuanwu. Brother. There's NO WAY he's anything but an alpha. Not only does he own a boxing gym and constantly bring up how he's glad to help others become stronger and teach people how to defend themselves or just get healthier, but he's also literally just such a gentleman. The fedora is a little cringe but good lord, this dilf makes me think of like, a divorced Alpha man with maybe one teen/adult kid who is doing what makes him happy (running his boxing gym lol) and enjoying tea. He probably has a really healthy and amicable relationship with all his exes, but never hooks up with them. His very essence just gives "confident and moderately wealthy man who went to therapy and healed himself, now he's just dedicating his life to his hobbies and interests but offers guidance and emotional support to whoever needs it". Guy is an alpha for sure.

[musicaldamage]

So having watched the vbw Falco musical recently. Rock Me Amadeus. I have Thoughts™

[ID: the mostly empty Ronacher theatre's auditorium seen from the 2nd floor on the right side. the stage is hidden behind a sort-of wall barrier curtain thing made of squares, some of which are reflective. the "Rock Me Amadeus" logo and an image of Moritz Mausser in character as Falco are projected onto it. Surrounding the stage there are a number of variously-shaped angular mirrors lined with glowing light. (additionally there's my partner's hand forming the peace sign on the right side of the image)]

side note I am irrationally annoyed that the squares of the logo don't line up with the squares of the curtain thing WHAT are they doing

Spoilers and further opinions under the cut

- The cast is stellar. Moritz Mausser is absolutely 100% brilliant, Katharina Gorgi's voice is beautiful, and Alex Melcher is there so that's in some ways already enough for me personally really. though he only really shows up in the 2nd act which is a bit sad. to me

but his presence is good bc. well. a lot of the things I generally value in a musical are kinda meh in this one tbh

- the music is fine! it's mainly Falco songs obviously, which I've been mostly neutral about so far but there definitely are some bangers, and, well, Moritz and Alex singing them sure is a point in favour. the additional songs written specifically for the musical are... I don't think they're bad, mostly, but they have a completely different vibe that doesn't really fit in with the rest. and. actually, some of them are bad. in my opinion. extremely cheesy. what's that doing there. one of them is hella catchy but the chorus lyrics sound like it's for kindergarden, two are just incredibly generic and boring and did I mention cheesy?

- Starting out with calling the day of Falco's death "the day the music died" sure is a claim. nothing to do with whoever is in charge at the vbw being weirdly patriotic (stares at the general Austria(ns) theme of quite a number of vbw musicals)

- Similarly his first sentence "In Wien musst erst sterben, bevor sie dich hochleben lassen" ("In Vienna you gotta die before they celebrate you") which sounds nice and dramatic and all but. come on. dude was #1 in international charts very much during his lifetime. they talk about this in the musical itself. he complains on stage about how the fame and stuff bothers him. where's the dying first part huh Hansi.

- Alex. listen I am stupidly into that guy's whole vibe. his everything. his voice is my favourite kind of male voice and his hair in combination with his entire profile and the lineof his stupid neck make me feel some kind of way. I wanna grab that hair and pull his head back like that one Sandman scene you know the one.

This one. also his tattoos and his absolutely deranged energy and willingness to just go off and do insane things rolling around on the floor. and then suddenly look like an innocent child in awe at seeing snow for the first time of his life. this tangent of Alex Melcher stanning has gone on long enough we'll return to our regularly scheduled musical discussion now

- They're simultaneously trying to make Falco a sympathetic figure while also showing him behaving like a dick. it seems to work bc the audience laughs and gets Emotional but. idk maybe it's me but the "I behave like an egoistic dick to everyone around me including my wife but it's ok bc I'm Misunderstood and actually very Deep and Emotional and I love my wife and need her to keep me sane and also I'm marionetted against my will by my Dark Impulses" shtick is sort of... you can't have him throw his wife to the ground and give zero fucks about her and then half an hour later at his funeral or wake or idk play a quote of him saying "I never hurt anyone other than myself" and have someone else call him empathic and sensitive and expect me to take that seriously and... look maybe I'd like it better if the jokes weren't so incredibly lame

- Female roles?? what's that. there's two (2) that get a name on the cast list (his wife and his mum). one (1) of them gets addressed by name on stage (Isabella, the Wife. his mum is Maria but only if you look at the cast list or the programme). Isabella's role is Sexy Lady turned Caring Wife and Mother who finally Leaves. the mum's role is Nagging Mum (in law) and Comic Relief. there's a second girlfriend (wife? secretary? idek) who apoears in one scene and gets called a name (Caroline) which I only caught bc I was looking at the surtitles. no one gets a personality not even the male characters really no one matters (I mean yes ok it's Falco's Story but ffs let Katharina DO something with her voice maybe)

- have I mentioned the awful dialogue and cheap jokes yet? "the best aspect of the American flag are the red-white-red stripes". terrible flirting with "ladies in uniform" who are trying to do their job when faced with an entitled asshole but of course it's portrayed as hilarious.

- ok so back to Alex Melcher but his role is the most fun part of the thing. he's Falco's "Alter Ego" aka his, idk, hedonistic impulses and desire for fame and admiration and whatnot personified? there's a huge head on stage with a brain and all in it to make sure the audience understands that he is Inside Falco's Head and in case that's not clear enough yet he also verbatim declares that "I'm inside your head" so yeah subtlety is not required in this play. he and Falco/Hans are being incredibly homoerotic the entire time and I am personally offended that they're not kissing, but I'll take Alter Ego pretending to lick Hans's throat and clinging to him like a limpet. I would love to write fanfiction about them actually but I haven't figured out how to do that well when both parties are the same person/one is a personified fragment of the other's mind and not physically present. pity.

- idk I'd just. I'd have done it differently? again it's just. so unsubtle. why does Alter Ego just hover menacingly above the stage in a glass box once or twice during the first act, why didn't they idk put him in as part of the white-clad ensemble and make him stick out more and more instead of the Hovering and then the 5 minutes "I am you and you are me" song at the start of the 2nd act. Have him talk to people while Hans takes a step back to show it's his Dark Side™ taking over idk. I'm sure there'd also be ways to make Hans more actually sympathetic and less of an arse (fewer dumb jokes might help, or giving other characters more of a personality maybe) but yeah idk

- idk there's just. not much of a story? it's a Falco tribute show with some life moments thrown in. there's a Falco song, there's a crisis bc he's out of ideas, now he's taking drugs, now he's happy, now there's a new album without any clue where he got the ideas (was it the drugs?) now there's sth about his wife now his friend is reprising the basic as fuck Live Your Dream song yet again. then it's over and he dies in a car crash and it's all presented like it's all some incredibly deep and moving story but it's just Not That Deep

- I do like the Writer's Block song they put in, don't we all know that feeling

- I'm not sure it's a good idea to use Jeannie of all songs as a recurring motif the way they're doing? "quit living on dreams, life is not what it seems" "lonely little girl boy in a cold cold world" blah blah all nice and well but Do We Remember What This Song Is About. I mean it's a good song I'm not contesting that I like it! (if someone wants to come at me for "endorsing" anything just bc I like the song... just don't) But yeah no matter how good it is I don't think it's very uhhh fitting. Though in retrospect maybe it's meant to portray him as like... Someone At The Mercy Of Sth Evil And/Or More Powerful Than He Is. Fucking over his own life powerless to stop it or sth idk idk

- Generally I think they rely way too much on the use of background projection screens idk it seems lazy. it's fine in some scenes it can work really well but it gets too much and kinda cheesy

End of the random unorganised RMA thoughts yay! It was fun to watch. I know I mostly complain a lot here but it's definitely fun! It's just that a large part of the fun for me was despairing about how bad I found it and waiting for more homoeroticism and also for Alex Melcher to... do the things he's doing

Edit: ALSO I'm not sure if uhhh low-to-mid-key insulting (iirc) two of the three not-Austrian countries he goes to is. Necessary?

[sugar-omi]

what are your general thoughts on step 3 baxter bc i was replaying OL1 and i trying hard not to cackle at the fact baxter is 19 years old in like 2016. bc all i can hear is halsey, p!atd, arctic monkeys when i look at him; it's giving tumblr, hot topic, that specific period of alt fashion. like he looks like a k-pop idol, but has a weirdly deep voice and overly formal way of speaking. like that is a rich sheltered gayboy emo nerd, not a suave daddy dom. his ass is grass and mc is gonna mow it. i'm saying i find his whole aesthetic ridiculous even tho i do have a soft spot for his fear of emotional vulnerability.

LMAOOO NO I READ THE HALSEY, P!ATD, N ARCTIC MONKEYS AND YOU LITERALLY DESCRIBED MY MUSIC TASTE IN 2016-18 PLS JUST ADD MCR AND I AM IN RUINS.....

OMG STOP "HIS ASS IS GRASS AND MC IS GONNA MOW IT" PLS I LOVE YOU YOUR /WORDS/ IM ACTUALLY CRYING

honestly the only reason i don't clown him is bc I think him being older is 🥵🫣 but yeah I had to laugh when they called me Pepe le pew and Victorian emo man

I was literally getting ready to go out the one day after playing the dlc, and was trying not to fuck up my eyeliner from laughing bc pepe le pew is abnormally funny n idek what or who that is

HONESTLY I WAS SO GRATEFUL WHEN HE CHANGED CLOTHES

I COULD GET BEHIND THE SHIRT BUT THOSE PANTS.....

take em off

OH NO WHAT DO YOU THINK HIS UNDERWEAR LOOKED LIKE.... ik in step 4 he had fall leaves on his butt but what abt step 3.... im afraid 😟

okay I totally almost forgot your question, thank god I read things like 5 times before I'm sure I'm not missing smth but general thoughts....

well first thoughts was "who tf is this flirting w my man🤨"

now it's "who let this vampire out the house" bc baxter is so pale... pls I feel like if I put a firefly on him he'd burn like?!)!&*!^!??

final thought: "are you still looking to be sandwiched" bc poly cove/baxter/mc sounds PERFECT for all my issues (will never recover from the dialogue being different if you have cove at fond or crush when you start dating baxter.....)

also I'd like to eat him, did I say that alrdy? well I'd like to shrink him n nibble on him

OH MY GOD THATS OFF TRACK OK STEP 3 BAXTER THO. ID LIKE TO GRAB HIS FACE N YELL AT HIM

knowing he's going to break my heart...... pls... 5 moments wasn't enough imma need reimbursement for this heartache

I wanna sneak into his condo and lay in bed w him and make him laugh until he falls asleep n then I wanna wake him up w breakfast and then I wanna go on a lil stargazing date n walk along the edge of the water, the water only touching his feet when the wave goes up shore

n I wanna find all his lil freckles and moles n count them n be all close n tell him he's pretty like the moon and I wanna put on some song idk the lyrics to bc it's some Spanish love song or smth and make him dance w me even tho the most I can do is spin I a circle and circle literally one hip

and I wanna take him on a long drive w his dumb metal music blasting n make him yell it out w me and I wanna feed him his dumb fries w pie or whatever it was and I wanna make him lay in the grass w me and I wanna go build a dumb sandcastle and get him a silly lil toy that's prbly meant for kids n giggle abt it for a stupid amount of time and when we get home laugh abt it some more and i wanna play my dumb instrument and sing him a dumb song n AKAJHAGA I JUST WANT A FUCKJNG COMING OF AGE MOVIE W HIM I AM JAGADFALAH LOSING MY SHIT

okay.

I'm normal 🧍 ... I like this man a Regular amount

[toxicanonymity]

Do you ever struggle with feelings of discouragement or inadequacy if your fics don’t do as well as you had hoped?

I’m struggling with that myself. I try not to get so hung up on it but it’s very hard, especially when something I’m so proud of doesn’t do as well as my other works.

I don’t even feel motivated to write bc I don’t wanna set myself up for disappointment

Discouragement, sure, I think that's natural sometimes. But I really don't feel like stats have anything to do with adequacy. Baring my soul, yuck. But fuck it we ball. Sorry it's a long answer.

I don't think I've ever answered a serious ask aside from the time i created Dr. rock which hardly counts but I've seen a lot of people struggling with this lately and hope this might be idk comforting to a person or two without leading to debate/discourse.

You mentioned something you're proud of isn't doing as well as your other works, and I can see how that would be disappointing. For laughs, I'll compare 2 of mine. These fics are impossible to compare (as are most, I think) but I def understand the urge to measure yourself against what you see as the potential. Aches: <1k popular trope I banged out in no time, wasn't sure about it, literally thought "people don't have to like it" before I hit post. >4 notes per word. Left in Lincoln: >22k posted so far, challenging, writing it for months. Has possibly driven me crazy bc I had this passing thought the other day and not about TLOU. (I didn't feel like re-reading it all): "I should just rewatch the movie. . .wait." 🤡 The whole Lincoln series combined has fewer notes than Aches lmao. But it's far more rewarding in getting to see it come to life, quality of engagement, and stretching myself 😏. It's not for everyone, for various reasons. Surely would have better stats without the twist I went with. But at what cost??

-------

Often, if people don't read or like something, it's a reflection of their own interests, limitations, and assumptions. And the right "fit."

I don't rly read much in general, but specifically, I rarely read long stuff (if I do I prob scan a lot tbh). I normally only want, if any, just enough plot/premise to build sexual tension. I don't read fluff or angst. I don't have the attention span / commitment to get invested in original characters. I tend to avoid stuff similar to what I'm working on. I make assumptions - If there's no word count, maybe it's too long. I know a lot of the fics I skip for these reasons must be fantastic. Assumptions I experience - I've seen very popular fics in the wild that strike me as dark, creepy, or pervy but aren't tagged that way. So some things that are tagged dark, etc., including plenty of mine, might not be dark in the way people assume based on their own ideas, or based on what others do tag. Also some people think I only write dark when sometimes it's just horny (see master list).

I've sometimes found myself thinking "It sucks more people don't read this bc i bet they would enjoy it" (not just my own fics). It might sound egotistical but I think it's often true.

------

Of course I want engagement because that means more people reading something which can mean more interaction, discussion, learning what you liked, what you think, etc. that's what I love.

But notes aren't rly near the top of what I care about, even though it does feel great to get them and I truly appreciate every single one.

Night walks doesn't get nearly as many notes as some of my other stuff, especially these days, but it's fun to write and I like to feed his feral fans who only get more into him with time. Same with raider: among those who do read and engage, I sense rising enthusiasm, thirst, and rate of falling in love with him (my bad). That's all worth more than 1000 likes to me. I have a good time writing these guys, so I write them more than other ones that get way more notes 🤷. I'm not saying notes don't matter at all, I know they affect exposure and engagement. But if just did what gets notes, I don't think I'd have such high quality engagement bc I'd just bang out more stuff with the most popular tropes instead of our fave Joels and those destined to become our faves bc they offer something special.

My outlook was the same before I had so many followers btw. Rock Bottom (22k) was what I felt like writing, still more ambitious than anything I've done in the Halloween fandom. I was disappointed it got way less attention than my one shots, but I know it's a banger, just certainly not for everyone lol.

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I'm sorry for what you're experiencing and feeling, but I think it's very common and hope you can reframe it to not feel inadequate. I especially hope it doesn't discourage you from writing. ❤️

[j2zara]

Hiiiiii~ 2, 4, 7, 10, 22, 24, 30 for the fic writer game! 💖

Hiiiii friend! Sorry this took all day my brain is dead rn

2. a character whose POV you’re currently exploring

Lol i'm banging my head against the wall getting killed by LJ3porter fic so i'm like. Right in Girlfail Ellie J4 POV hell rn!!!! She's so fun and i do think writing for her is both easy and hard in that i enjoy doing it (and tbh i think i default to her pov usually when im in LJ3 mode) but i worry i make her way too sopping wet and pathetic. Which she can be pathetic but i worry im going like. way too sad wattpad girl with her.

4. a story idea you haven’t written yet

OK! I've talked about a few different things before so i'm gonna. Well. I'm two sentences into twelfth night j2 being sent to pursue Jace on Porter's behalf fic so i feel like that counts as "not written yet." I also talk about how. I think doing a reincarnation au for LJ3 or the clones in general would be so fun. i'm not sure what kind tho, the version in which they're all new teachers at aguefort is so fun and kinda stuck in my brain now. Plus i wanna write Barbarian teacher Tiefling!Ellie x Sorcerer teacher Aasimar!J3 like so so so so bad i think it would be such a funny way to have them never escaping the torment nexus. I also think it would be fun to write something abt LJ3 in their friends with benefits era. Or maybe one of their more official "date nights". I think if they got into doing roleplay in the bedroom is would be so so so so so so fucking funny. Like. Pretending the other is stranger they picked up at the bar or something.

7. your preferred writing fonts

Tbh i kinda would like to find a perfect writing font? I tend to default Arial and it doesn't look perfect its honestly kinda offputting but. my strategy is. When I feel like my writing looks so so so busted i switch to Verdana which is closer to the ao3 font so i can better visualize how it's gonna look. And that helps a bit. Idk im sick.

10. what is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

That's a good question. Actually? A couple years i think? I abandoned my old talentswap for a couple years before picking it up again in college. (tbh my current ch 3.3 is STILL unfinished so i abandoned it again). Tbh i'm not good at letting drafts rest and returning back to them. I either try to power through or end up abandoning it which i don't love

22. do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?

I try not to but like. Yeah. I'm stressed basically every time. I joke that when i write original fiction that i have a hoard of angry twitter pearlclutchers that live in my head ready to rip everything i do to shreds but i try not to listen to them. But i'm worried every time. This has nothing to do with how i feel about you guys tbh i wildly underestimate your guys kindness and goodwill just bc im very hard on myself

I was anxious abt IYWD (I was worried it was gonna come across as too soft or too apologetic). I was anxious that nobody would take to Dyke!Jace/Zara in Who Can Blame a Girl, or i wouldn't be able to sell it

I probably MOST anxious of all about Almost (I was SO stressed that ppl were not gonna vibe at all with Bluejay or not gel with the whole "what if the clones were actual characters" , "born to love porter cliffbreaker, forced to do menial tasks for jaceprime" etc etc thought experiment. and i was so so so so so so scared about dropping the nickname Bluejay i was worried it was gonna be completely stupid and i was completely off the mark)

I was anxious abt Biggest Lie (i was worried it wasn't hot enough or maybe too violent or that it was maybe too shamelessly just like. smut lol).

And after Almost i was probably second most anxious about Stay / Leave. It was just a wip i really struggled with and idk it was so.... insular i guess? b/c it was so niche and the wip ended up being SO LONG and kinda emotional and sappy? Like again i think i was having the same doubts i had abt j2 in which i was like what if i can't sell people on this relationship. What if i've failed to convey something sincere. (that one was crazy tho bc i really really really really tried to release it and not care what happened bc i knew only a handfull of ppl would read it and i really really really tried to be cool and for a while i was but it was just hard i was so nervous and i don't think it was anyones reaction is really was just my nerves that were putting me in such a bad and upset mood and then over the next day or two i. I made this joke earlier that like. I PROMISE and hope i'm not overinflating my ego when i say this like i'm perfectly aware that i just write silly smut online but it really was so so so so funny. to see everyone practically overnight be like.... wait. Are LJ3..... in love??? And now LJ3 is like such an integral part of clone lore.

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

That's a good question bc i feel like. When i'm stuck in one medium i tend to just try and distract myself with another so when im bad at drawing i write and when im bad at writing i draw. But thats not exactly recharging. Tbh i do think i need to find better things in my routine that rejuvenate me i think i haven't been particularly good at treating myself well lately

30. share a fic you’re especially proud of

I'm cringe and usually will shill if you want divinity (you're gonna have to go through me) as one of my favorite things i've ever written. But im also extremely confident most of y'all have already read it. I'm very very hard on myself so i swing between thinking the things i make suck and also being like. Fairly proud of all of them.

But idk it was my first ambitious thing i wrote and FINISHED in a long time and honestly? I do think its slightly better than the rest bc the iterations are all reliant on the original so they're very intertextual and repetitive which isn't BAD but. The extra work it took to make IYWD work makes it feel different to me. There's a LOT of stuff in it that i'm proud of that i honestly kind of miss b/c Porter is so smitten for Jace in a way he hasn't been in things i've written in a long time. I'm a softy who likes when jaceporter are soft and kinda in love... sue me... And like. i always feel so self congratulatory talking about the Loving To the Point of Invention Detect Thoughts + Teleport but i really felt good about coming up with that. And i still like the flashbacks a lot. It always feels so embarrassing to admit that i like. Get emotional thinking about the flashback of them on the bed. Sometimes i tailor make a scene just for me. "I promise i'm never going to let anything happen to you ever again" "as a paladin or a barbarian" "both" is like. Such a scene just for me. And I think the ending is good too. "I'll take it. I'll take it all" just felt so. fitting. It's so him getting to hear himself say to porter "i'll take the thing with you that is broken and fucked and full of compromises even if it has to end". Sigh. Sometimes you're an english major and you agonize over being a good writer for like two decades and realize that you might not be as horrible as you think.

(For the record. i think if i were to rank what i've written for fantasy high from fav to least fave, i'd say IYWD, Biggest Lie, Stay / Leave, Who Can Blame a Girl, Almost, Tell Me How, and it feels weird to put Almost that low bc i do like it. Tbh i regret making it so short i think i could've pushed it further)

Anyway!!! This got long winded as hell. Thanks for the asks they were fun to do!

Send me Fic Writer Asks! / Here are the questions!