#idk i've felt this for a while but i have a very strong dislike for genshin impact

[viulus]

Do people actually like Genshin Impact

[sparklepirate]

Alright, final thoughts on Inheritance.

;-;

Eragon continues to be the guy of all time. I love him. He really displayed a maturity in this book that I think supersedes anything we've seen of him in all the previous books, and just like... His strength really is that he is compassionate and thoughtful towards everyone. Even Murtagh, now, too. He had the realization of how close he was to sharing his fate, sought to understand him, and that was ultimately what led him to realizing his true name had changed, tearing down Galbatorix's wards, etc etc. I don't know that I could properly articulate everything about him here, but Eragon definitely became the hero he needed to be by the end of the series, 100%. He is the only person who could've possibly thought of the final piece of magic to defeat Galbatorix. Even the dreams of starlings are equal to the worries of a king. Ahhh, it's so good. ❤️ I'm so proud of him.

On the other hand, Barst was some bullshit. Bro. Like, on the one hand, it was a very good climactic battle for Roran to participate in, and his triumph was the perfect culmination of his character- cunning in battle, cunning in strategy, the intelligence and charisma to sway everyone around him into cooperating and working together, sheer determination so intensely strong that he was able to crush and Eldunarí with his bare hands. His role was perfect! But Barst as a villain was kinda... Well, first of all, he came completely the fuck out of nowhere. He wasn't mentioned at all until they were already on their way to Uru'baen, and then he was only MENTIONED. They didn't hype him up enough before the actual battle in my opinion. And ONE human and one Eldunarí being enough to beat the QUEEN OF THE ELVES in hand to hand combat...? I mean, I guess that could work but... Ehhh... I dunno. It kind of felt like an excuse for Islanzadí to die, and Roran to triumph more than anything. It was cool, but it was probably the weakest part of the plot in my opinion.

That said though I think it's pretty safe to say this was my favorite book of the series. I'm having trouble recalling all the iconic shit (I took a pretty long break from reading about halfway through the book) but there was soooo much cool stuff in here. The Nasuada being kidnapped and being helped by Murtagh arc is GOLD, Vroengard was amazing, and all the battles were SO well written??? I need to study these books more closely just to learn how to write compelling fight scenes. Honestly, it's gripping stuff. I was on the edge of my seat, despite knowing how everything turns out.

Nasuada is amazing, Arya is amazing, Saphira is amazing, Roran is amazing, MURTAGH is amazing... I think I already liked basically every character in this series going in, but I somehow like them even more now that I've read it again. Everyone is so good, and interesting, and I want to be everyone's friend. I think the only character I liked less this go around was Orrin (sorry to my Orrin stan friend out there). That said, though, I don't dislike him, I think I just went from positive to neutral about him.

Orrin honestly just didn't get nearly as much screen time as I remembered? We only see him a handful of times throughout the book and each time the only thing he's doing is getting drunk and making an ass of himself, though... Idk, he also has a point? He has his own unique point of view, and his own unique experiences that lead him to his own ideas of how to conduct things, and it is definitely kind of true that like no one ever really listens to him or takes him seriously, despite being the King of Surda for w while at that point. I don't think there was a more graceful solution to the division of power/territory after Galbatorix was killed than what was decided upon, because like... Realistically, Orrin was never gonna be high king. He had good reason to assert for the throne, sure, but actually ascending to the throne? That is SUCH a far reach for power, unless the aim was to assimilate Surda in and have all of the humans under one crown. Nah, Nasuada giving up territory and ascending to the throne was the better choice, even if I do empathize with Orrin's point of view. It seems like Nasuada did as well, because even though she was persistent, she seemed to be gentle and sympathetic with him. He even had his line about like... "Why do you even want to do this?" "None of you would understand." Idk. Very interesting, but not tremendously notable compared to others, and he definitely was a bit of an asshole at times.

Murtagh my beloved my BELOVED I'm honestly just gonna make a whole separate essay post about him because his shit is Complicated™️ but one little note it was such a small detail at the end but I love that he said to Eragon "Hey check in on Arya about killing Shruikan. It couldn't have been easy for an elf to kill a dragon." And Eragon hadn't even THOUGHT of that and Arya probably would've been the last thing on his mind but he still was just so thoughtful. He is thoughtful like his brother and he cares so deeply and AHHH!!! And actually I want to see him and Arya be buds. I think they would have a cool dynamic. And also I love that he never once hesitated to acknowledge Eragon as his brother and just wanted to be with him and finally Eragon also acknowledged him as a brother too that last scene with them was just so good 🥹

Also I love how Thorn's like only spoken line in the whole series (until November) is to boop Eragon on the forehead and say "Hi. Thank you for not killing my rider. :)" and Murtagh is just like "Yeah thanks for that. 😒"

Love how quick Saphira and Fírnen hit it off lol. They really played tag and wrestled for like five minutes and then were like "Alright we're gonna go fuck like now see y'all later ✌️" And Eragon's like "Is this??? Okay???" And Saphira's like "Pfft dragon's don't mate for life 🤷‍♀️" Their little romance was so cute.

CAN WE FUCKING TALK ABOUT QUEEN AND RIDER ARYA??? That shit is by FAR the wildest endgame decision Chris made because like. That. That's so fucking. Oh my god??? Like, one, poor Arya!! She just wanted to be a rider and have adventures! She probably would've either spent her time happy herrying eggs across Alegaësia, or she would've gone with Eragon to Mount Arngor, but you can NOT convince me that she would be particularly happy as queen. She's grieving the loss of her mother that she barely had a relationship with, and denied the other eleven leaders for a full week before they convinced her to do it!!! Girlie!!! You deserve to be happy!!! And, two, the obvious point of holy shit that is such an enormous power imbalance in favor of the elves. Like, there is a REASON the riders were separate in the first place!! And, you know, Galbatorix JUST died and now there is another rider/monarch and it's the ELVES who have historically been both the most powerful race, and the race with the best relationship with the dragons. And Arya is the ONLY RIDER LEFT IN ALEGAËSIA!!! Because Eragon is gone (and stubbornly convinced that He Shall Never Again Return Oh Woe Is Him) and Murtagh is... Also gone to an extent. He at the very least holds no political power. Basically everyone hates him, and those that don't can't do more than, like, pardon him, for whatever that's worth. I just can't see this not rubbing people the wrong way, and not coming to an eventual head. Nasuada and Arya are both great, but I just get the feeling there is going to eventually be some sort of conflict between them, no matter how much neither of them want it. I do think Arya is perhaps the least corruptible person, other than maybe Eragon but... I don't knowwww maaaan it's complicated!!

Also I regret to inform everyone that rereading the last little bit did make me ship Eragon and Arya a teensy tinsy itty little bit. Just a liiiiittle bit. Like idk the last fairth and the telling each other their true names and calling each other their true names and Eragon's grief at leaving and his vow to love her forever and her insinuation of maybe one day just got to me alright???

There were a lot of cool magic things in this book! Like the pocket space that the Eldunarí were kept in? Cuaroc's body? More shit that I'm forgetting? God I would just love, like, a magical encyclopedia or something idk. Lots of cool shit. And artifacts!! I want to learn about more magical artifacts.

Also at my Galbatorix stan mutual? I'm a certified Murtagh Girlie™️ and therefore obligated to hold a grudge but like. I do get it. He is a... Very competent villain.

Alright I think that's it for now but. Wow. Man oh man. There is a reason I love this series. I'll probably think of some more things to talk about later, and I'm gonna be participating in the Big Bang, and I'll probably post about The Fork, The Witch, and The Worm as I reread that but yeah!!! Can't wait for November!!

[yurki-posts]

Just some midnight vent art. Some context down below because I need this out of my chest.

Big warning tho, it's a lot of text and if you're going through some hard stuff, I highly recommend not to read it. There's nothing motivating there, just venting

In 2021 I got hospitalized for Anemia. Anemia is caused by a lack of iron in the body, and because of my very strong food selectivity, I dislike a lot of food, including almost all fruits and no vegetables (except potatoes). This is a part of my autism, but I didn't knew that at the moment.

Because of this, I slowly lost all my iron. A normal person would feel very dizzy and probably faint over any kind of physical activity and even have a heart attack if pushed too far (and also if their anemic state is very bad), but I was asymptomatic, which means I didn't had any symptoms of it, which made it impossible for my parents and doctors to tell something was wrong with me. This is why my Anemia wasn't noticed for 4 months, and yes it was bad back then.

On January, me and my family went to a far away place to watch some waterfalls. We had to walk a lot, and I mean A LOT. I remember feeling really tired and that the air was heavy, but I couldn't do anything really. Doctors said my heart should not have resisted the physical effort and I should've got a heart attack, but for some reason I didn't, and I just kept going.

Then, we skip all the way to 4 days before I got hospitalized, on March.

I was in gym class. We were doing some running from cone 1 to cone 2 and so on. We could take a break for a couple seconds after getting to cone 2 and then we should get back to cone 1. Gotta say, we also had other activities before that one, but I only remember this one honestly, but have that in mind because I was already tired from before.

It was my and other 4 childrens' turn to run to the cones. I, ofc, was the last one to get there, and I while running my stomach was hurting really bad because of my breathing. My sweat was cold and my lungs could not hold for much longer (or at least that's how it felt). I finally got to the cone. I usually would not lay down because I was embarrased to do it in front of my classmates, but I was so tired I didn't cared about that and just layed on the grass.

I close my eyes. I breath. I feel the warm sun hitting me and the noise surrounding me disappeared. All I could hear were the birds. I opened my eyes and saw them in the sky. I felt very calm, for once. It felt like I spent a lot of time just looking at the sky, but it really were just some seconds.

After I got hospitalized and I was saved (all while I was concious and awake), the doctor, red haired woman, came to me amd my mom, and told me with a straight face:

"I don't know how are you here. You did gymnastics on Thursday, your heart should had not be able to handle it"

I remembered that moment in gym class again. That would had been the perfect moment for me to die. Why I didn't die? Why my body refused to die? How? How it managed to survive without ANY iron for 4 months straight without even a symptom until the very end?

Funny, butt this reminds me of that line Mike says on Fnaf Sister Location:

"I should be dead, but i'm not"

I should be dead too, and now I have been trying to....end, what the anemia started. It's really hard rn, I don't want to go to school tomorrow, I don't want to wake up tomorrow.

All I want is wake up in that place. The olace i've drew myself in before. Where the birds fly without a care. I want to be like those birds, but life isn't fair ig.

oh and about the drawings, if something shows up in the drawings that I didn't mentioned here it's probably because my emotions were drawing at that moment, like, idk how to explain it but I just draw it without too much thought?, it feels so weird

[sketchy--sketches]

I have just thought of an evil Mob Psycho 100 AU

It's very angsty and kind of self-indulgent, so don't read if you dislike too much of that

The concept is essentially if Reigen unlocks psychic powers, but for a huge cost.

So, this AU takes place after the main story where Mob has made peace with ???%. I chose this because I don't want ???% to come out and derail the plot I have planned. Also, during this, I think Serizawa is out on holiday or visiting family or something, because I also don't want him to be present until maybe the end.

Mob had been identified by some evil espers (or regular people) and were insulted (or scared) that he was so strong. So, they decided to do something about him. They sent someone over to Reigen's office to pretend they had a spirit problem; they would weave some scary story about a huge spirit in a lake, and it would be so off-putting that Reigen would be too scared to go without some psychic protection from Mob.

When the person, Reigen and Mob arrive at the lake, the person convinces Reigen to leave for a while (maybe in the car ride, the person took something important from Reigen out of his pocket and hid it). When alone with Mob, the person tries their best to have Mob lower his guard and not have a psychic barrier around him. Once Mob is completely off-guard, the person pulls out a gun and shoots Mob in the head and chest.

Reigen hears the gun shots and decides whatever he left didn't matter, and he needed to check on Mob. When Reigen started running towards where he left Mob, the echoes of the shot were still around, and he could feel a sense of dread rising up inside him and the source of the sounds appeared to be right in front of him.

As Reigen bursts into the scene, he stares in shocked silence, his terror growing exponentially. The person he thought was just another customer was dragging Mob's bleeding body to the lake edge. The person just looks at Reigen over their shoulder, then takes their gun out again and points at Reigen and says something about not wanting to hide another body.

Reigen could feel his emotions rising up in him, and finally culminate with rage. He flung himself at the person, dodging their bullet and knocking them down so they drop Mob. Reigen panicked and quickly went over to hold Mob; he felt even more dread inside as he saw Mob's blood covered shirt and hair up close. Reigen was too stunned for a couple moments, but he was finally able to get his phone and call for an ambulance.

The sound of another gun shot made the air stand still. Or, was it something else? An unbelievable amount of power cascaded out of Reigen as his hand was extended toward the bullet, which was floating completely still mid-air.

Reigen was wielding psychic powers.

But he didn't feel good.

In a moment of pure rage and sadness, Reigen made the bullet fly back to the sender, causing them to fall on their back and bleed out.

Mob is successfully taken to a hospital, where Reigen sits in the waiting room, desperately awaiting news. He decides to call Ritsu and Teru to let them know what happened, and they become shocked and say that they're immediately coming over.

After Reigen hangs up, he leans down and sobs uncontrollably into his lap.

I didn't intend for this to become a short fic-

Obviously, other things would happen after that, but I think it would depend on how the author wants the fic to end.

And I forgot about Dimple

Idk why but I've gotten attached to the idea that sometimes Ritsu wants Dimple to hang around him for a bit, so maybe that was the situation here

This was kinda hard to come up with, since Mob is so powerful, it's hard to present any kind of threat that would effectively take him out. Also I do feel pretty bad about having Mob essentially be an inciting incident, if this were to actually become a fic or comic, he would have more scenes.

Thanks for reading I guess?? And sorry about the heavy angst

[fuck-comphet]

Hello! lately I've been confused about my sexuality. I'm a junior in high school and my experiences with sexuality and romance have been pretty conflicting for me. As a little girl I didn't want romance, yet I would crush on boys I found cute yet not really care to date them, it was more so I wanted their attention because as a kid boys found me ugly and would bully me so I kinda just needed a certain boy's validation and attention. Fast forwarding to 6th grade I had a crush on 3 boys, yet I didn't want to date either of them, 2 of them were twins and it was my mission to be their friend, while the other one I just wanted his affection but I never really considered dating him either. In general I have to have a strong bond with someone in order to fall in love with them. During freshman year I dated my best friend who is a girl, but I broke it off due to me not being in love with her or anyone, but after that I kinda got jealous of her when she got a boyfriend. Most of my dislike towards him was because I was jealous and I kinda wanted my best friend to love me again, idk if that meant anything or not, but i was jealous. Later in freshman year I dated another girl, however this lasted longer, it felt right to me, a lot happened between us though that we broke it off and she has long since moved on to another girlfriend. I have very strong feelings for her even though we broke it off last year in sophomore year, i just haven’t gotten over her, I am aware that the feelings i have for her are romantic and i wanna be with her and have a future with her, but i’m heartbroken bc I highly doubt I’ll have a chance with her again, i think about her everyday, i feel so insecure and i just have this need to impress her and act a certain way due to the mistakes I made in the past. Her and I are good friends, but I'm not honest with her bc I just have this fear of hurting her again. Right now I am dating a man, but I honestly wish i wasn’t dating him to be honest, I feel comfortable with his affection but like i’m not really into it tbh, i’m just kinda neutral about it, it doesn’t feel the same as when my ex hugs me or brushes against me. Ever since I've been dating the guy I've been questioning more often on my identity, I can’t tell if I’m bi in denial or a lesbian. Now I've gone with the term lesbian before and it felt right but I stopped identifying as one bc i was afraid I’d just “find the right one” and it would look like I was faking being a lesbian. Is there something wrong with me?

Hi friend!

Few things to unpack here so I want to start with saying first and foremost: NO, there is nothing wrong with you. It’s normal that figuring out our sexuality and identity in general is confusing and not linear.

Second of all: you are so so young. Like I understand wanting to figure it all out and put it to rest but friend, you have soooo much time ahead of you! And the beautiful thing about being a human person with human emotions is that we have capacity for change throughout our lifetime. This is not me giving you the annoying/invalidating cishet thing of “it’s just a phase”; I am saying that not being set in your labels and allowing yourself to continue to figure out who you are and how you evolve over time is super ok!

Third of all: you are saying some classic comphet lesbian things such as

Being afraid you eventually "find the right man" that will invalidate your lesbianism

Dating a guy and not really being into it, without necessarily being repulsed or averse to affection from a guy, feeling "neutral" (ie not attracted / excited) is not the same as attracted. When you are attracted to someone, they don't leave you indifferent like that

Saying you feel more when your crush "brushes up against you" than when you are with this guy, that sounds pretty gay (affectionate) to me

The list goes on but the point I am trying to make is that it sounds like you are invalidating your own lesbianism in fear of other people doing so. Also, I am a stranger on the internet, I absolutely cannot tell you how to identify or whether or not you're a lesbian. I am making observations on the context you've given me and it seems like you are not into guys and are very much into girls based on this context.

I do think though that dating someone and not being into it is not fair to yourself and also not fair to that person. Obviously I don't have all the context around your relationship to your current boyfriend but if you wish you weren't with him, consider being honest with him so that he can move on and find someone who will actually be into him. You both deserve loving and meaningful relationships.

The last thing I want to say is that highschool can be such a micro-ecosystem with the same people hanging around for years and years. The world truly opens up after highschool! You'll meet new, different and intersting people, you'll be exposed to new ideas and perspectives, and those will all change you, and that's ok! So it's really alright to not have everything (or anything) figured out right now.

I do hope this was helpful, I know this is a bit of a longer response. The queer community loves you, now and always 🧡🤍🩷❤️

[dotster001]

Hello Dot! Congratulations on 1.5k followers. I am very excited for your matchup event! May I have a request for matchup type 1 with Ensemble Stars? I'm sorry if this is a little bit long...

My name is Dawn. I'm an INFP-T girl who likes cute and pretty things. I enjoy drawing and designing costumes. I like listening to music and singing. I'm rather wild if left to my own devices (because I like rock and niche edm), but if someone tells me to sing for them I'd be really shy (lol). I also like sweets, and sometimes I go on walks after school to find cute stores and cafes to visit. I like cute animals too, like cats and dogs and bunnies. I like all colors, but my favourite is pastel colors or bright colors like hot pink and cyan. I figured I crave cuddles and kisses too, even though I never really got a lover to test if I really enjoy these activities.

I dislike loud noises, and I'd get overstimulated and nervous if left for a long time in a noisy environment. I also dislike mean people, or those who act in a threatening behavior in general. I don't hate cold weather, but I get cold really easily and it's quite annoying. I have insomnia and find it hard to sleep and as a resuot I'm quite sleep deprived 😔.

Ummm small story about me, had a rough childhood because my classmates and parents were pretty mean to me, and for a long time I was afraid of being judged and hurt, so I bottled up my feelings and closed myself off. But I realized it would be lonely and sad if I just drown in negative feelings, and that instead I should heal and use my understanding and experience with being hurt to comfort others, and be kind and strong no matter what.

I seek a partner who is gentle, affectionate and loyal. And maybe someone who'd let me draw silly doodles on their hands or notebook (I'm sorry, it's one of the things I must to in my lifetime).

Thank you very much and congratulations again! Have a wonderful day!

(hey Dawn Idk if you're bi/pan, or not, but I genuinely thought this was the perfect match for you. If you want a different one though, let me know! I won't be offended!)

I match you with Arashi Narukami.

Just two cute girls living their cute girl life? Yes! Going to cute cat cafes, buying cute outfits for each other, living their cutesy life? Excellent!

Arashi enjoys making costumes! I can totally see you drawing and designing stuff together, then making them together. She's proud to show off her skills, while at the same time is more than excited that you are so creative!!!! Design matching cute looks for the both of you. She might die. (Or squeeze you to death in the tightest hug you've ever felt)

She's a cuddler. I've decided. She likes to hold you close, and feel your heartbeat against hers. In cold weather she'll do this to keep you warm, but she also just does this when she's noticing your having trouble sleeping. She'll sing new Knights lyrics she's been working on under her breath, and will rub your back, until you, hopefully, drift off.

Arashi's job means the both of you have to go to loud places sometimes. But she's really good at feeling the needs of those around her. So she'll make sure to keep an eye on you. If it looks like it's getting to be too much, she'll make her graceful exit, causing all the fangirls to swoon over your loving knight.

Your dream is to doodle on her notes and her hand? Sweetheart, she's so in! When she has music rehearsals, sometimes they can be long and grueling, especially if the harmonies aren't going exactly as they should. But it makes it easier when she flips the page, and there's a little gift from you. If you guys are in a loud place, and she can't get you out of there, that's when she'll offer a pen and her hand as distraction for the time being. Again, the fangirls are SIMPING.

Your face was pressed to her chest, so that you could hear her heartbeat. She ran her fingers through your hair and absentmindedly hummed a song. Sometimes this would work. Sometimes, her scent, heartbeat, and voice would help you drift off. Today was not "sometimes".

"Rashi?" You looked up and she opened her eyes, as though she was starting to drift off instead.

"Hm?"

"I don't think this is gonna work tonight," you whispered.

She nodded and shifted, like she was going to separate from you. So, naturally, you buried yourself deeper against her.

"Alright," she laughed, "What does my Dawn want to do instead?"

"You're warm," you muttered, making her laugh again.

"I thought this wasn't working?"

"That doesn't mean I want to stop cuddling. It just means I'm not sleeping!"

"Fair point. Do you just want to chat then? Or…"

She pulled out the pen she always keeps on hand, and gave it to you before brandishing the back of her hand.

"My perfect knight," you laughed, beginning to doodle.

"Don't forget it," she teased

[liu-anhuaming]

Okay after watching the first two episodes of 《乘风破浪2023》 (sorry, I refuse to call it 乘风) here's who I'm paying most attention to and some other initial thoughts:

(under a cut bc there's some spoilers)

龚琳娜 is as much of a delight as I expected, I am so fucking pumped to see her dance in future episodes. I actually followed her on 微博 already, and she'd been posting about taking dance classes, so a fee weeks ago (before I knew she was gonna be on 乘风破浪) I had been thinking it would be cool to see her on the show

蔡少芬 is someone I'm not too familiar with, but the fact that she was the empress is 《甄嬛传》 makes her instantly iconic, so I'm excited to see more of her. She seems really funny too

I've only ever seen 谢娜 in the role of host, so it's nice to see her breaking out and doing something a little different/unexpected

I became familiar with A-Lin/黄丽玲 through her time on 《我是歌手》 but I didn't really listen to any of her music after that. I already know she's a good vocalist, so I'm looking forward to seeing her again and getting more familiar with her (and maybe finally listening to her music too)

谢�� had a really breathtaking initial performance, even though she didn't sing. While I'm curious to hear her sing, she's also such a good dancer that I'd be fine just watching her dance

美依礼芽 seems to be a talented singer and I lived her first performance. I totally didn't expect her and 龚琳娜 to pair up for the first round, but I am super excited to see them work together. Definitely the performance I'm anticipating the most for next week

芝芙/Chi Pu is someone I'm totally unfamiliar with, but she seems nice and I'm curious to see what she does.

As for my other thoughts:

It's a little too early to say much, but most of the changes they've made seem pretty minor. The only exception is the name of the show. I don't get why they felt the need to shorten it to 《乘风》 when 《乘风破浪》 was already a shortened version of the original title 《乘风破浪的姐姐》. I'm still gonna call it 《乘风破浪》

Also, who is this man? Why did they make one of the panelists an American man who doesn't speak any Mandarin ()? Why have I already find him deeply annoying after only seeing him maybe three times?

I feel like this season is trying really hard to appeal to international audiences, what with how many international contestants they have. I don't have very strong opinions on this, other than shock that Korean songs are allowed on Chinese TV again?? But I just don't see the point of this dude (Josh Cumbee) to be on the panel. Idk, maybe he has fans, but if someone came up to me and said, "Hey, you should watch this Chinese show, Josh Cumbee is on it", my only reaction would be "who the fuck is Josh Cumbee". Maybe I'm being too harsh on Josh, and it's possible my issue is that I just dislike him bc he looks annoying, but whatever

Aside from this, I don't have much to say about the panel other than I'm sad to see Ken's not on this season. This isn't a critique so much as a comment, and maybe a lament? He was such a big part of the first three seasons that it's jarring for him to be gone this year. I'm gonna miss him :(

[kivaember]

#their dynamic to me is that Freud is unapologetically honest about his desires while Rusty is deeply repressed on multiple levels#and yet they end up shockingly similar and that kinda scares the ppl around them#Rusty lies to arquebus for survival sure; but he also lies to himself about how much he cares about 621 or how prideful he is#and even tho he started out with the squeaky clean V.IV Persona by the time of wallclimber Snail dislikes him#which I took as a sign he’s showing cracks in the persona and becoming more visibly jaded and cocky#add in the fact his acceptance of the kill Michigan mission; I think he probably really lets loose when fighting Balam#lets him vent out his repressed anger about the corpos with zero guilt about the RLF and gets him positive respect from the brass#which to O’keefe probably makes him seem a bit like a mini Freud in the making; someone who only really lights up in the AC#maybe Flatwell is a little unnerved how Rusty chooses the solid spike weapons. like he can tell his kid is a little too cruel after it all#idk I really like the idea that the V.Iv persona of a flirty cocky flyboy eventually corrupts rusty into a narrative foil to Freud so much#anyway good work on Decoding it’s very fun to see Rusty get hunted for once

hello this amazing analysis in the tags??? i totally agree with this, that being V.IV Rusty has corrupted him in ways that makes even Flatwell uneasy. I've hinted at it a little in APV, where Rusty acknowledges that after returning from the Vespers, he's noticed Flatwell giving him looks when he thought he wasn't looking, and Ziyi telling him that he's changed, and it's because you can't spent 10 years under a mask without parts of that mask becoming real in parts.

like, honestly i used Garrus from mass effect as inspiration for writing Rusty, because i feel that type of character works for him: good intentions that get kind of twisted by his own arrogance and anger (and an anger that manifests as a cruel streak towards what he percieves as "acceptable" targets (the corps)). like imagine how much he had to swallow down and repress when brownnosing his way into the Vespers, and had to work alongside corporate mercenaries in oppressing other colonies all for the company's bottom line? he'd have to have some ways to vent all that anger and disgust without blowing his cover, and i can easily see him using AC piloting to do just that.

AND WHAT I LIKE ABOUT THE STEEL HAZE ORTUS BOSS FIGHT is that when you trigger his "I won't stop!!" his next few lines sound deranged in a way that actually reminded me of Freud. He sounds more composed (albeit the line is all crackly), but the words and the way where he sounds like he's talking more to himself than to 621 just made me think about when Freud was being all "what a glorious view..." I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT IT INTO WORDS but it felt like a peek into Rusty's put-together veneer finally unspoolling.

And yes, with Flatwell, I feel like he regrets sending Rusty to Earth, because he knew the corps would chew him and spit him back out completely warped, because Flatwell experienced it himself first hand, but he was able to compartmentalise his time there and come out mostly intact whereas Rusty's definitely showing the cracks by the time of Wallclimber. (I remember Snail's "who's also becoming brazen as of late", which makes me wonder if, like you said, Rusty was becoming increasingly cocky and saying somewhat disparaging things about the mission on Rubicon, which had Snail drawing parallels to Freud in a negative way).

AND SPEAKING OF FREUD, SWINGING BACK ROUND! I really do think by the time of Eliminate the Redguns, Freud and Rusty were scarily similar, but where Snail had Freud's measure and knew how to keep him on a somewhat controllable leash (Freud's basic desire to pilot an AC and find strong opponents to test himself against), Snail didn't have that for Rusty. V.IV, to him, threatened to become an attack dog that might turn around and bite him at any moment, and that's probably what prompted him to send Rusty after 621 in the Depths in hopes of getting him killed (I'm genuinely thinking Snail was betting on 621 winning that fight, rather than Rusty, and he was right... it was just that Rusty was willing to flee rather than fight to the death - because unlike Freud he's not there to fight to the glorious death, he's there for another purpose and dying to 621 then wasn't productive towards that purpose). It'd make sense why there was no retaliation on Arquebus's end when Rusty failed to report back, and why they just send a polite notice to 621 like "ok you can stop the survey now", because from Snail's point of view, 621 just handily got rid of a potential rogue element, and he had an ambush plan for 621 anyways, so everything was being neatly tied up in a bow.

BUT I'LL STOP RAMBLING THERE BC I'LL GO ON FOREVER but yes to Rusty and Freud being narrative foils to one another... and how V.IV persona warped Rusty into something a little more ruthless, cruel and arrogant (and how Flatwell regrets this everyday).

I LOVE FREUD/RUSTY this ship has been living in my head rent free ever since i had the passing "teehee this'll be a funny crackship" thought and i feel for the oldest trap in the book. the crackship trap. it never stays a crackship. NEVER.

anyway, who else likes freud/rusty... who else is low-key (ab)normal about them... im sitting here vibrating at the speed of light about them...

[msookyspooky]

Bo Sinclair, prompt 28

Aw, cute! ☺️🖤 Idk if this counts but this what I came up with.

Bo was busy under a hood of a truck as you bounced on your feet near the door, trying to get the courage to interrupt him. Depending on the vehicle problem, how hot the Louisiana day was and how much sleep he got the night before.

He seemed to just be busy working, listening to the Deftones on his radio as he fiddled with the engine.

You rolled your lips and walked over, turning the music down a bit.

Bo instantly jerked up, almost hitting his head on the hood. A death glare in your direction until he saw you. It faded into a small huff as he went back under the hood.

"Whaddya doin', darlin'? I almost ripped you a new one thinkin' you were one of my brothers. Or some sorry ass tourist wantin' to fight."

You shifted your weight, you relationship with him still semi new. It hadn't even been a year since you arrived at Ambrose and had to accept this strange and morbid new life. It wasn't all bad. Most days passed by mundane and domestic. Bo worked on the mechanics, Lester stopped by here and there, Vincent worked on his art or drew up new plans for the town...You hadn't found you place yet, mainly doing chores here and there.

You leaned near the truck. "Sorry, just bored I guess."

"Huh... If yer bored ya can help out Lester with somethin'."

"Okay, maybe I'm not bored really...Just wanting to talk."

"Uh huh. Go on." He mumbled, interally too busy with what he was working on.

You blew air out past your lips and fidgeted with your hands. "I guess I'm just lonely...I don't get to talk very often-"

"Ow, fuck!" Bo hissed, jerking his hand back as you jumped in alarm. He shook his hand and you waited to see his reaction but he just cursed under his breath and kept working.

"I guess I've been watching you work and the more I watch the more I just want to spend time with you. I don't-"

Bo smacked his hand on the frame as you rambled. "Shit! YN, can't this wait till later?"

You felt a pain in your chest but nodded, hanging your head. "O-okay. I'll leave...Sorry."

You went to walk away, dragging your feet a bit as Bo slowly paused what he was doing. Like your words finally sunk in. He stopped you right when you got to the door.

"Wait, wait, wait. Jus' hold on there a damned minute."

He stood up fully and walked over to you, wiping his hands on his mechanics outfit.

You stood there watching as he came up to you. "Now, what are ya tryin to say to me?"

"I-I...Well, I uh-" You fumbled, feeling your cheeks heat as you tried finding the words. "I like you, a lot. And I wanna spend more time with you...Not all the time! Not that that's bad and I know your busy but you have days you're not-"

You saw him raise a brow at you as you fumbled. "Not that it's bad when you're not busy just-...Oh jeez." You groaned while rubbing your temple. "I just...I'm lonely and I love you- BEING with you and-"

He gave you a sideways smirk. You had never dropped the big three words before.

"That so?"

You nodded as he got a coy smile on his lips. "So ya love me, huh?"

"I-" You faltered, eyes wide and face hot before you swallowed and looked down. Nodding. "...Yes."

You waited for it. The mocking, the heart ache, him making it sexual or brushing it off. Instead, his smirk dropped slightly.

"You...You love me?" He asked again. His eyes open and his mouth parted as he stared down at you.

You hesitated scared to death over the can of worms your big mouth might have opened. "I mean, listen. If that's weird or you don't feel that way I get it please just don't start disliking me because of it I-"

You were cut off by his lips crashing onto your own. Firmly kissing you as his strong arms looped around your waistline. Your breath caught in your throat as you slowly leaned into it before he parted from you. Both his hands reaching up to cup your face, his thumb gently brushing your cheek as he studied you. His blue eyes darted from yours to your lips to your eyes again. As if he was looking for any sign of deceit on your part.

You stared up at him, cupping your hands over his own as he licked his lips swallowed. He looked at you a moment longer before his entire face seemed to relax. He eased up to kiss you softly on your forehead.

He didn't say anything. You knew he was too scared to. But that kiss and the way he held you said everything. After a moment of cradling you close to him, he eased back with a disbelieving smile on his face. He huffed to himself, looking at the ground with that smile getting wider.

"Well shit..."He muttured to himself. Some silent conversation in his own head as you watched him. He took off his hat and smoothed a hand through his dark waves as he chuckled to himself. He put it back on and outstretched his hands as you watched him intently.

"Alright. What the hell? How's 'bout we go for a drive?"

"Are you sure? Your truck-"

"Is a piece of shit that can wait." He walked over and got his keys to the truck he drove off the hook. Pulling you towards him as he smiled down at you. "Name the place; we'll go."

You smiled up at him, wrapping an arm around his waist. "As long I get to be with you, I don't care."

He looked away, grinning to himself with a shake of his head.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

Okay, so I’m super curious to hear your opinion—in Kaddish Mulder was reacting really strongly to the descriptions of the Jewish suffering and other examples of hate crimes and speech. One of the haters even pointed out that M looked like one himself (going purely off stereotypes—and man, wasn’t Scully the best when she just shut that creep right down?). Anyway, do you know if it’s canon that M’s got Jewish ancestry? Or was an inside nod to the actor’s own heritage? (According to IMDb the actor’s father was from a family of Jewish immigrants.)

Just curious for your opinion.

ok so tbf Kaddish is one of those eps that... falls short on representation and is often criticized for that??? which, that said, I actually don't dislike it as an episode, specifically for where it is in the season. I'm of the opinion that we can't hold stuff from, ya know, nearly 30 years ago to the same standards of representation that we have today, so.

anyway I... don't think there's anything in canon (as far as I've seen) that does outright confirm that his family is Jewish, but I know that's a widely accepted fandom headcanon and I've seen quite a lot of fics that come from that angle and I think I do tend to accept that as semi-canon in my own mind??

(also yeah I do think on some level it may have been a bit of a nod to David's heritage, but idk. there's lots of other people in the fandom who are more aware of behind the scenes stuff so maybe I'll do some looking around to see what else has been said on the topic)

also you're right, Mulder does have a really strong reaction to the antisemitism in that ep and I think it's kinda twofold, like there's more to it than just what's obvious. bc the one guy is EXTREMELY hateful toward him due to stereotypes like you said, and it catches him really off-guard but at the same time makes the case especially personal to him, AND because he's already especially vulnerable at that point, even prior to this specific case and situation

like... ok so you ever get really REALLY surprised/shocked/startled by something and there's no real reason for this reaction, but the unexpectedness of it makes you suddenly want to cry for a minute?? but that's a really unreasonable reaction so you just kinda smile or laugh to cover it??? or is this just me because the thing is, that's exactly what Mulder's reaction to the guy's hateful comments at the beginning was, imo. I saw that and just went 😟 bc I've SEEN that before I've FELT that before, that little shocked huff and duck of his head is like, that hit way harder than it had any reason to — and Scully sees that and will Not let it stand.

but imo part of the reason it hits him so hard is because he's already in a VERY emotionally vulnerable place in this ep, like. it's their first case since the events of Memento Mori, and there's just this *sense* of something being Wrong. Mulder looks about 3 seconds from a full-on breakdown for most of the episode, and not just bc it becomes so personal to him, he's just... still trying to deal with what's happening to Scully, and that makes EVERYTHING harder to deal with

and at the same time, Scully is also trying to deal with it too, and she does that by retreating a little bit, trying to give them both space while they work on this situation to process, and even though it doesn't directly get brought up, you just Know. all is not well with Dana Scully. idk if you noticed this scene but when she gets knocked over in that attic (i believe it was the attic of the synagogue, but I've only seen the ep once so I'm not sure)? it takes her WAY longer than it should to catch her breath. her cancer is weighing on the both of them and it does, in some way, affect the way they work this case.

lastly but not least-ly, bc I've gotten way off the original point of your ask, I do want to also mention the way Scully rushes over and helps Mulder up at the end of the ep... just bc it's cute tbh. and bc it seems there's a theme in this arc where even though she's the one who is literally dying, and she doesn't want Mulder to be all worried and trying to take care of her, instead she just tries so so so hard to take care of him and protect him and make sure he's alright; it's like she wants to take care of him now while she still can bc she's worried what will happen to him once she's gone — which is a topic I have seen in many many fics.

(and to end on that note,, if you want cancer arc fic recs, just say the word — i have a bunch!! :D)

[danieyells]

Messy mutterings about Chapter 55 spoilers with a small angst warning, copypasted from discord with little cleaning and edits lol

I'm imagining Raphael sent Luke away so he wouldn't interfere with him killing/fighting Michael and Simeon went along with the idea and is in the human world too so Luke's not, y'know, on his own in a strange new world and to reduce Luke's suspicion and all. But as Michael and Raphael are fighting or whatever Luke somehow learns what's going on/realizes why things are off and rushes home to try and stop it.

He tries to get between Raphael and Michael(perhaps his back, Raph perhaps striking while Michael is lost in thought missing the brothers, spaced out, staring at the wall where their portraits were) and is struck violently by Raphael's spear instead. Simeon, ofc, followed him home to try and protect him but is too late because of Luke's own determination to protect Michael bonus if he grows a little in this scene--just magically, because his current smol form is too weak to help surely but if he were a little bigger, a little stronger, maybe he could make it in time--!! and Luke is impaled.

He doesn't die but none of the three wanted Luke hurt in this confrontation--Michael is angry at Raph for attacking/being violent in the first place, Raph is mad at Simeon for failing to restrain Luke, and Simeon is like is now really the time for this because hello Luke is hurt.

Angels are made of strong stuff, he's not gonna die but he'll be in a bad spot if they don't get him to an angel who specializes in healing. I've elected this to be Uriel for now although I've been told that Raphael is generally percieved as the angel of healing--but with OM canon his reputation sonfar is so hostile I'm gonna say that may not be the case. Michael (or Raph) can stave things off for a bit but he's not healing specialized either--they're all Archangels and Seraphs but their fields are elsewhere, mostly combat.

(Luke tries to assure that he's fine and attempts to remove the spear. They don't allow this because the spear is, of course, keeping most of his blood in at the moment.)

They can't fly him to someone because it'd be bumpier so they have to carry him or call/run/send for help--so other angels do learn what's going on and speculation begins. Luke is hospitalized and Raph and Michael and Simeon stay with him while he sleeps, kinda tensely, not really ready to talk out whatever happened. But before he passed out Luke tried to tell Raphael not to fight/kill Michael, to talk to him instead. He wanted to tell him to talk to the demons/humans too, they're not as bad as they think(he and Raph are very likeminded so he thinks 'maybe Raphael will listen to me since I'm starting to see that I was a little wrong maybe') but he couldn't get it out.

Simeon messages the demons, Solomon, and MC and says he won't be returning to the human world/devildom for a bit because Luke was hurt in the CR. Mammon, having had recently gotten attached to Luke, is stunned and angry and anxious and wants to know what happened. Simeon isn't ready to tell them yet, and Mammon demands Barb make a portal to the CR for him to check on Luke--surely Barb is also worried because he cares for Luke too!

Diavolo says they're not allowed to go and Barb agrees(he felt as much before Diavolo said anything too.) Simeon agrees because there's some unrest now and speculation and with an exchange student angel having had been injured by a notoriously demon-skeptical Archangel some angels are worried the demons may be involved in this somehow and if demons suddenly showed up it'd make things worse. Mammon curses his helplessness because his new little brother minion is hurt and he can't even check on him. Simeon feels helpless too--he's an archangel, a Seraph, but he can't help Luke either.

I imagine MC then offers to visit instead--they may be a powerful sorcerer now but they're still just a sheep human with an inhuman aura right? They wouldn't be as concerning for the general populace. After some consideration the demons and Solomon agree this would be okay, as does Michael and Simeon [and Raph maybe] but they say to wait a few hours/a day or two before doing so, just to allow some cooldown/recovery in the CR.

(In the meantime Mammon reviews one of Luke's recent text chains to him where he's baking something. He tries to copy all the steps and instructions and clumsily makes some cupcakes. They're ugly and Mammon isn't known for his stellar cooking, but they kinda relieve him a bit and Beel says they taste alright, so Mammon asks MC to bring them to the CR for Luke for him--there's enough for Michael too since he's probably going through a hard time. It's not like he cares or anything!! He's just building up credit! They'll owe him with interest when this is all said and done!!!)

Idk what'd happen afterwards--it's probably the first time MC meets Raph so it's not under the best circumstances and he definitely wouldn't trust sweets from a demon. And even if he was gonna fight/kill Michael he doesn't trust that Mammon would give him anything safe and instinctively would tell Michael not to touch them, let alone Luke if he's awake to do so. So it's not like he hates Michael, he just. Things need to change and he tried to incite it the only way he knows how--or, rather, the most effective way, given how quickly things changed after the Rebellion. A spear to the throat makes anyone listen. A rebellion is what made Michael change, so maybe it will help him go back to normal too.

(Maybe Luke is awake enough to hear them talking about these things and weakly asks if Raph is going to be exciled over this--the first thing he says since passing out. They're surprised because. He got injured trying to protect Michael but he's still trying to protect Raphael, Michael's assailant? But Luke understands how Raphael feels because he feels the exact same way--or he used to. He didn't trust demons or humans or sorcerers or the exchange program, he didn't think they should get along at all. And he saw how sad Michael was without the brothers and hated them for that too--and Raph feels the same way, right?

Angels are all family. Raphael, Michael, Luke, Simeon, even when they disagree, when their views don't align due to time and perspectives and experiences and ages and positions, they're all brothers. And Lucifer and them were their family too. Even if they disliked them or how they behaved, even if they resent their rebellion and its effects they were still family and they loved and cared about them.

And Raphael doesn't want to see Michael hurting anymore either--certainly not over people who don't care anymore, certainly not over people who turned on them and Father, who must hate them as well. . .but he's been with the brothers for over a year now. Maybe two or three at this point. And he may have only learned it recently but. . .they haven't forgotten. They probably don't hate them. And the demons, the humans, even those unfaithful and the practitioners of dark magic, the fallen, they're not as bad as they thought. They're not necessarily their enemies. Raphael doesn't know it like Luke does because he's never left the CR aside for war and maybe visiting the human world briefly too, right? But if he'd consider things differently, if he's allowed a chance to learn, Luke himself promises Michael, promises Father who's surely watching as he always is, that he'll understand. Raph made a rash decision albeit after many many years of consideration-- but it was out of ignorance, so please forgive him and give him another chance and don't excile him? On top of that he needs a chance to learn and do better--imagine how he'd feel, being turned into something he hates or fears? It will help him learn, sure, but it also may only make him feel worse or make him do something more rash or result in another Fall if he has supporters.

Raphael doesn't hate Michael--he just wants things to be different. Perhaps to go back to normal. And he doesn't want Michael to mope over the loss of the seven brothers and Lilith anymore either.

And maybe in this time, since they'd have to decide what to do about Raph, Michael requested Diavolo come over too--y'know, in case Raph is exciled, they'd want Diavolo's approval and reassurance to keep an eye on him too. So maybe he or Barb, as they arrive in the room, would approve of Luke's appeal--ask what Michael and Simeon And Raph and MC think. They could always bring him in as an exchange student too! 😘 That worked for Luke!

Ultimately Raph probably wouldn't be exciled/become a Fallen but be given another chance. Maybe he's stripped of his title temporarily, until he's sufficiently deemed to learn about demons, angels, their history together, culture, whether or not they can get along, etc--so he's bitter, but thankful. And Michael understands that perhaps he's been allowing how much he misses the brothers and Lilith to cloud him and maybe it's time to move on and make changes to the Celestial Realm again after all this time. Bonus points if the bros came along and he was too distracted to sense them--someone's like "oh you're moving on? So we came here for no reason after all?" and ofc he's happy to see them again and gets to hang out with them again for a while before getting to say a goodbye with more closure. And he hangs off of Lucifer's neck the whole time they're there lol he and Dia bond over being Lucifer fanboys too.

Luke's okay in the end--a little worse for wear because being stabbed by Raphael is Not A Small Ordeal but he's okay and he shows a little more maturity. But he's also still same old Luke who will happily point out how awful demons are and use it as an excuse for distrust/fear--but he's more mindful of it now because he feels like he needs to set a good example for Raph lmao.)

[neirawrites]

I was a Twihard in high school. Then I was a Twilight hater. In  2018, I decided to reread the first book, to see for myself on which side I belonged. I wrote my thoughts as I read, in multiple parts, but on my main blog, so I thought I might share them on my writeblr too, because I kinda had fun with it. 

Enjoy my many, many notes

Pages 0-50

I’m actually kinda into it. Yeah, there are a many issues every article on editing tells you to fix (filter words, -ing verbs and things like that), but i feel it. I don’t know what it is, but it’s there.

Bella isn’t that bad of a protagonist. Nothing too spectacular, but she’s fine. She is depressed, self sacrificing and hides her feelings, but also a lot more self aware than i though she would be(like when she notices mike, my son, likes her). She’s a typical teenage girl, the introverted type, way into reading. there’s nothing wrong with that.

I don’t know why i remember Edward being a draco in leather pants,but he’s also fine for now. mysterious and handsome and a bit weird. The first real conversation they have, he’s polite and nice and charming. I expected him to be a dick for like 150 pages at least.

Pages 50-100

I’m still really into it.

Yeah,Edward kinda ghosts her/gaslights her after the whole van incident, but with the benefit of hindsight,i kinda get it. It’s a wonder he didn’t pick up his entire family and moved to Alaska again. I also get her mood during that time and I've been there so i feel ya,Bella,it’s not your fault.

And yeah, Bella gets invited to the dance by three different guys and it’s all kinds of fan fic-y, but the fact she turns them down furthers my belief she’s wake up married to Edward in like a few years and realize she would rather be with Rosalie (a solid choice, might i add).

Edward’s really pushy, especially when it comes to the scene after she faints. like, let her go, you jerk, she can drive herself, but he’s more weird than he’s a jerk and i think that was intentional.

A big surprise was the line “what if i’m not the hero, what if i’m the bad guy?” which isn’t this super cheesy, extra dramatic sentence but a jokey joke told with a laugh. actually, that whole conversation in the cafeteria where she tries to guess what he is is gold and don’t try to tell me otherwise.

I’m reading her interests in him as less of a romantic thing, and more of frustration at his behavior,like she would still be fascinated by him if he wasn’t so hot because he’s just so weird (but being hot is definitely a plus).

Plot? What plot?

Still, while the flaws are there, i’m still enjoying it very much.

Pages 100-150

Is Stephanie Meyer into anime? Cuz she wrote a harem light novel,that’s what she did and that’s how i’ll read it from now on and have more fun doing it. (Might make a post elaborating on this further).

All this to say that we got to Jacob. Not gonna lie, I kinda forgot about him.  He seems like a nice kid and i’m glad Bella has some positive interaction. Team jacoj 4 life (jk,man,i was team jasper in high school which is in retrospect very weird of me). I know he becomes a friend-zoned dudebro later, but for now, he’s fine.

Meyer, lady, you’re winning me over as a half hearted defender of your work, but why are the girls so bitchy? Yeah,i know, bitchy girls exist in real life, especially in high schools,but girls are our friends and we need more positive female on female interactions. Just my personal preference, I guess.

Things are getting interesting. Bella’s dreaming weird dreams (just fyi, not a big fan of dream scenes in general), she’s googling like crazy  and we’re going to Port Angeles.

I never felt she has any sort of affection for Angela or Jessica who seem really nice and have done nothing wrong. Like loosen up Bella, give them a chance. I know, depression makes you into a bitch sometimes, but it would warm me up to her character if she was a little more affectionate with people around her.

That whole scene where she almost gets at best beaten up and mugged and at worst raped and killed is… not my favorite part of the whole thing. I get what Meyer needed to do, to have her be saved by Edward, but there must have been a better way to go about it. What do I know? I’m the queen of forced plot contrivances. I do like their conversation at the restaurant (again, why do we hate the female waitress, Steph?). I don’t know why, I expected Edward to be mad at Bella for what happened to her and he seems genuinely concerned and his anger feels… human. Some of his actions, however, do not.

He stalked her which is weird and creepy and I hate it. Don’t stalk people, Edward. most of us don’t like it. you’re lucky Bella’s a weirdo.

150-200

I kinda love how ok she’s with the whole vampire thing. she’s just “well, this kid i barely know told me a scary story, so i guess the guy from school is a vampire. it be like that sometimes.” my first assumption would be it’s all an elaborate prank to make fun of me (i have some deep seeded trust issues origins of which remain unknown). and he’s waaay to quick to confirm her suspicions. I think there’s an explanation in the part of midnight sun that got leaked, but that was like a century ago.

I would criticize her for being ride or die with Edward so fast, falling in love with him so quickly, but i exchanged like 5 sentences with a cute girl last night and a part of is ready to propose based on the artiness of her instagam, so who the eff am i to judge?

and i get why he’s fascinated with her. she’s the only one he can’t read.

why? i don’t think that question ever gets a good enough answer, but it’s a fictional story about a girl falling in love with a sparky vampire. i’m not here for complex science or detailed explanations.

he seems waaay too protective of her. She’s a big girl, Ed, she can take care of herself. It’s actually kinda annoying. i dislike how he treats like a child a lot of the time. he seems pretty condescending. also, if he broke her car, i’m taking back everything nice i said about him.

ok, let me finally address bella’s biggest character flaw, her clumsiness. i mean, i get why she has it but Meyer goes a bit too hard on it. i’m clumsy, i really am, full of bruises, always bumping into things, but Bella can’t walk 20 meters without tripping. i guess i’m just glad she becomes a vampire in the book four, otherwise the book five would have been about her struggles when she’s diagnosed with a stage four inoperable brain tumor that’s been mesing with her sense of balance and the whole things turns into a weird version of the fault in our starts.

if i were writing it i would focus on her trust issues and being unable to form real bonds with other people as her main flaw, maybe even use it to try and justify the whole thing with the mind Edward can’t read. Like, she’s too different in a way that makes her unable to connect even on a basic level, like that one Blue whale that sings at a different frequency than all the others. Idk,i write pulpy sci fi. but it’s easy to be a general after the battle.

we got to the two infamous lines:

how are you? 17. how long have you been 17?  is another line that’s more jokey than i though it would be, but also the most realistic piece of dialogue in this book. i would so ask the same thing.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, this paragraph has been memed to death. Second, there was a part of me-and I didn’t know how potent that part might be-that would know every word of it till the day i died. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in like with it.

200-300

Not gonna lie, the whole part where he goes around asking her questions he is legitimately interested in knowing the answers to is at the same time my kinkiest fantasy and my deepest fear. like, yaaas, daddy, get to know me on the personal level and don’t be turn off by the fact i’m a tabula rasa.

We got to the infamous meadow scene and Bella is sooo horny on main for that vampire stake it’s actually kinda funny. She gets so effing into it she faints. I fucking love this girl. Go get that adonis dick, Bella, you deserve it.

I don’t mind vampires sparkle.i mean,it’s lame and fanfic-y but in Bosnia we have the lampires so vampires are creatures with a high dose of plasticity. i don’t know why that was like the worst thing anyone has ever done to the vampires. They are kinda too strong and could use a real weakness tho.  

So the lion fell in love with the lamb is kind of another joke. Also, this is the skin of a killer is sadly just in the movie.

I do have the feeling he likes the project that he sees in Bella more than the real girl,but ok. Also stop nagging her. He watches her sleep. What a creep. I don’t know why, but the fact that he’s a vampire who doesn’t have to sleep makes it kinda less creepy for me. I don’t know why.

But “if i could dream at all i would be about you,” is the kind of ultracheese i can get behind. they are both such teenagers and i kinda looooove it.

Also non of the boys were her type is such a lesbian excuse. I feel ya Bella, i feel ya. I hope you discover your gayness after the end of breaking dawn.

We meet the cullens and every single one of them has a backstory like 528 times more interesting than Edward. i need novels about them, all of them ffs. it would be so cool. but, one of my favorite oc’s Errien Lark gets like 30 lines in the whole book so i can only be as harsh on Meyer as on myself (which is to say a lot. neither of us deserve these characters, honestly)

This book would have been more interesting if Bella fell in love in any other cullen. Like, Bella and Alice, Bella and jasper (Bella and Jasper and Alice. Sorry, i’m into solving love triangles with ot3s).Bella and Rosalie, Calilise, Esme, even Emmett, who i remember  as mike of the vampires, but it’s been a decade.

300 pages in and plot is yet to happen, but it’s ok. we have the vampire baseball next.

the last part.

get your hot takes! hot takes right here

I kinda like billy. He seems like a nice guy. Also billy/charlie as my new otp.

“The beautiful one,the godlike one.” Bella, you are such a teen.

The less fucks she has about him being an all powerful ancient creature of the night who can murder her in a heartbeat, the funnier it is. She is just soo casual about it. Comedy gold, i tell ya. i mean, this is actually part of the narrative, Edward comments on it, meyer knows what she wrote.

Ed,maybe is you stopped saying she smells good, you would be better at not thinking about her as food. Mind over matter. Just a thought. Maybe i misjudged his virgin ass. Maybe ed the incel actually fell in love with her. Or at least what he thinks is love since they’ve been dating for like two days (look who’s talking?the girl who reads any sign of affection as a statement of love and then gets disappointed).

“Emmett could never be compared to a gazelle”. That’s sexist steph. Emmett, honey, you are as gracious as you want to be.

Also a big yaaaas on the whole concept of vampire baseball. we needed more of it.

Plot! Plot! Plot! Plot! Plot!

We have encountered plot. Only 320 pages in. three bad vampires came into town.

Story time: when i was in high school, all like 20 of us in out class were really, really into twilight (dudes included). we quoted it all the time but the height of comedy happened when someone brought their friend from another school to out class and someone else was like “you brought a snack” and a meme was born to be quoted endlessly for months. it was actually kinda fun. and probably very annoying for anyone who wasn’t into twilight.

Also, any development? Backstory? Motivations other than for the hell of it for out boi James and his ginger girlfriend? come on, it wouldn’t even be that hard. Also, some foreshadowing? There was like one line before. This is a legitimate criticism. it’s kinda shitty writing and a wasted opportunity.

Edward is being a dick again. I get he’s scared but her dad could die. Or maybe they’ll trun him into a vampire too (charlie/Edward? Think about it). But they all call him out on it which is nice. Bella’s plan isn’t bad, but “let me go charlie” is the straight up coldest thing i have read in a long time. it’s supposed to be, this isn’t criticism, just stating the obvious. But she showed like an inclining of love for her dad who has been nothing but nice all this time. Yeeey, she’s not a robot.

“It was the best idea. Of course it was mine” . Yaas, queen, you’re not that much of a doormat;  take that credit.

i would do something to foreshadow the ballet studio thing in the first half of the book. at least, have Bella or Charlie looking at pictures from her recital, just to intricate it to the plot a bit more.

Ok, now i remember why i was team jasper. He is so effing nice. And he would be awesome for my depression. Neira/Alice/jasper, i ship it.

i’m kinda digging the explanations of how vampires work and the whole venom thing. They are still op af and need to be nerfed, but i wanna be one.

Of course, he used the mom. She’s like the only person bella actually cares about. She falls for it. i would probably fall too, but i’m dumb.

the fact that james hunted Alice is a nice and a very much needed twist. it did catch me of guard. i would be more mad he’s a bad guy monologing, but i can only introduce stones to my own glass houses.

Bella’s now more into the idea of being a vampire than into Edward and i’m living for it. she’s going to use him for his venom and a baby and run off with rosalie.

“and how many times did she fall our of a window?” (yes, that is a Sherlock reference in the year 2018 of our lord. maybe i should do that for my next project. should i wait a few more years?)

her mom is not worried enough, honestly. my mom would be freaking out. but my mom has anxiety issues, so idk… (i couldn’t get her smooth hairless legs, or her blue eyes but i got that gene. thanks, i guess) .

“And i have a couple of girlfriends” now that’s a novel i want to read but i guess i’ll have to write the lesbian twilight myself.

“I want to be superman too”. yeeees, finally, kristen steward in the role of superman casting of the century. you would all watch it and love it, and you know it.

Charlie doesn’t deserve this shit. when will he retire with his husband billy in their cabin where they can fish all day.

“Do you want me to bolt the door so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?“ Are we sure she hasn’t been a vampire from day one?

Jacob is a sweetie (for now) just putting that out there.

Edward is kinda being unreasonable. being a vampire in your universe isn’t that bad.

Aaaaw, and that’s a wrap.

i actually kinda digged it. it’s nothing special, but i read these last 150 pages in one sitting. my main issues are writing oriented. very little foreshadowing, many filter words and things like that, but i guess if you aren’t that into writing, you might not even notice more of that.

it’s not the death of literature, it’s not the worst love story ever told. it’s just a silly and mostly harmless wish fulfillment novel.

edward can be a controlling and condescending prick but he gets called out on it very often. it’s not like meyer is completely oblivious to what she’s writing. and even tho he’s 100, i guess they are all mostly stuck mentally at the age when they were turned. or at least that’s how it seems to me. bella is kind of a bitch to everyone who’s not a vampire and she’s never called out on it, there’s a glimpse of change in the epilogue, but i don’t think meyer really considered it a character flaw. which is a shame, as it could have made for an interesting character. all the vampires have stories i would rather read about, as i said before, but what can ya do? that’s what’s fanfics are for.

i may write more of cohesive thought on it when it settles in my brain, but first, i need to watch the movie. i have a hypothesis i need to test.

but i don’t regret doing this. it was kinda fun and now i’m no longer ashamed of my twihard phrase. i could have done worse, as far as teen phases go.

Someone should like write a fanfic, but Edward is not a vampire, but a rich guy. And he’s into some hard core spanky business. And they should take all the problematic elements and just crank them up to 11. And add a looot of sex. I bet they could make millions.

Tho, honestly, how can you read twilight and not make bella the kinky dom? you fundamentally misunderstood the story. for shame

[championfrita]

Pokémon Sword and Shield Review

So...I've taken some time to fully play Pokémon Shield. Now, I know this is pretty delayed, and I got the double pack so I wanted to play Sword first to see if how I felt was really accurate or if I was being too harsh. That said, let's talk about my experience with the Galar Region.

Initial Impressions

Overall, I was excited to play Shield at first. Everything was bright and exciting and the characters were easy to recognize and not overly generic.

The first few hours of this game, well it's a slow burn. And I do mean SLOW. Even with the text set to Fast and me taking things at my own pace it took me at least a good couple hours to reach the Wild Area. Furthermore, this game has an infernal amount of handholding, even when given the option to say "I know all this already" it still gives a brief explaination for almost anything and STILL makes you sit ALL THE WAY THROUGH the catch tutorial.

It's 2019 and older players still don't get the option to skip this. Come on GameFreak.

That said, the longer I played the more I began to notice...how should I put this? Blatant laziness?

The Wild Area

Now, the CONCEPT of the Wild Area in theory is amazing. It's still not too bad as is, but there are definitely flaws. For starters, the same tree has been copy pasted all over the place to make up 90% of the foliage.

More than that, though, despite the Wild Area having a good selection of Pokémon and a fairly varietied environment (desert, lakes, forest) it feels oddly...empty. There are no real secrets to speak of, no hidden areas, no easily missed items. Everything is all right out there to see and spread pretty far apart. I don't know if it's a lack of Trainers or the fact that I don't have an Online membership so I played alone, but the Wild Area feels like it just needs something MORE.

Dynamax Raid Battles, even when done alone, are fairly fun and sometimes challenging with the turn limit. Radiant AI Trainers spawn in to assist you if you're playing alone so there's no worries about having to take one on with just one Pokémon.

Camping, which can be done anywhere but is introduced to the player here, is an absolute treat. Have YOU played fetch with a unicorn? I have, and I love it. The wide variety of curries you can make with different ingredients is nice, and your Pokémon even get EXP boosts if you play with and feed them while camping.

The Pokémon

Honestly, I'm really not impressed. The Galar Dex of new Pokémon feels painfully small, so much so that playing Pokémon GO and catching a few Unova Pokémon made me yearn for the days when we used to get regions completely FULL of new Pokémon. Remember when you had to wait until AFTER the main game to start catching Pokémon from past gens? I...well, this might be an unpopular opinion, but I LIKED that.

That said, using a sparse selection of Galar Pokémon and Galar Regional Variants on my team definitely made the Gym Challenge more difficult. I picked Scorbunny, because Fire Types, and honestly didn't really care for it or its evolutions at first. Cinderace has really grown on me though and I like Pyro Ball as a move. It's flashy and powerful and that suits me just fine. Most of the new Pokémon's DESIGNS were good and I liked them, there just really weren't ENOUGH of them.

I'm fairly pleased with the regional variants as well. It was difficult to adjust to Ponyta and Rapidash being Psychic Type, but I really liked having them on my team. At the same time...Meowth not evolving into a Persian doesn't really sit right with me.

I'm all for branch evolutions, but Perrserker honestly just looks more like a giant Galar Meowth than anything. I played this with only the info given in the few scattered trailers I'd seen, so I was genuinely excited to see what a Galarian Persian would look like only to end up with Perrserker. The Typing is phenominal, and I think it's great to see a Steel Type Meowth for a change, but I just don't like where they went with it. Eh. Ces't la vie, moving on.

The Story

It's weak. Straight up, the story in this game is poor. There were so many directions they could have gone. I really liked the idea of Rose being this charismatic chairman hype man for the League and being the bad guy. I saw it coming, but it was a nice change to see just based on his personality. Still, it feels rushed. His motivations are really one dimensional and glossed over. Like, "Oh, here's the bad guy. Go get him." It worked in Gen 1 because Giovanni was a MOBSTER. He was MEANT to be a bad guy straight to the core in general, but Rose just doesn't have that vibe.

Not only that, but the "Bad League Members" are kinda meh. That feels REALLY lazy. They didn't even really get a decent uniform change when they started taking on the name Macro Cosmos in Rose Tower. They got black glasses. That's it. Just that. The fight with Eternatus feels painfully rushed and shoehorned in too, almost like they thought "Oh no, we need to give them a big nasty boss to fight! Let's just throw a random monster at them and say Rose summoned it. Seems like a solid plan."

I DID like the after story with Piers though. It really solidifies that older brother sort of nature with him, even if he tries to hide it most of the time.

The Characters

I liked Hop. As a character he's really fun and I like how they gave him this over excited very grand gestured sort of personality. He's really just happy to be ANYWHERE as long as it's with his Pokémon and you. His admiration for his big bro might come off strong and make him seem a little flat at first, but he's overall portrayed as a good kid and I like him.

Leon on the other hand...well I hated him for most of the game. His design is great and he looks fabulous, but he just has the most cocky, obnoxious, pandering personality 90% of the time. Still, I have to give credit where credit is due and recognize that he IS actually a multifaceted character. He showboats not just because he's too confident but also to give the crowd a show and put people at ease in times of danger. Not only that, but his recognition of his little brother's accomplishments and his graceful acceptance of defeat when you beat him reveals a really well written character.

I don't DISlike Sonia, and I have no problem with Prof. Magnolia sitting on the sidelines, but she can be a little...irritating at times with the way she speaks about and to people. The Gym Leaders, aside from Piers, feel a little...light.

I mean, most Gym Leaders don't have detailed backstories, but these ones feel paper thin personality wise as well. I had to look at the official GUIDE just to be sure what the relationship between Melony and Gordie even WAS because you only seem him in her Special League Card in Shield and that tells you nothing about him. The only real leaders that stood out to me were Piers and Raihan, and while I was iffy about his design at first I LOVE Raihan. He has so much more personality and ferocity than any of the other leaders. And the social commentary about him needing to constantly take and post a selfie, even after losing, is a nice touch.

The Galar Region

Is very linear. Like, VERY linear. Even when you take a branching path it either loops back around or gives you a free ride to wherever you have to backtrack to. I hope you like Hammerlocke, cuz you're gonna be visiting there several times.

I know that the region is based off the UK, and maybe my Americanized idea of cities is different (idk, I've never been to the UK), but a lot of the towns in this game feel really small. Like, almost smaller than some of the towns in Hoenn small. Maybe it's a lack of significant interactable buildings, but despite many of them having multiple floors you typically can only access one and that's kind of a disappointment. The hotel in Wyndon won't even let you get in the elevator, and while I get that Alola also did that, it's kind of jarring when the hotel in Motostoke WILL let you see other floors.

That said, I kind of expected more than ONE Wild Area. The one we DID get is fine, and I appreciate what it is and lets us do, but I honestly thought there would be multiple places to really explore outside the standard straight lines. Pokémon has never been a franchise to shy away from puzzles before so I expected this to not be any different. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

Moreover, many of the environment pieces are just UGLY. A lot of the ground textures are reused 3DS assets, and those copy pasted trees I mentioned earlier? Also 3DS assets. How do I know? They're pentagonal instead of round. In other words, they have five sides. Why? Because the 3DS hardware couldn't handle complex environmental shapes that well so they could get away with it, but now that we have nice round berry trees the contrast becomes painful. The Wild Area is so ugly the first time you see it is at NIGHT. They were so aware of what they did they hoped making it darker would hide the lazy flop instead of showing off how bad it was.

It isn't like they COULDN'T fix it either. Look at Ballonlea and Glimwood Tangle. They're absolutely beautiful and very well done. The modeling with them is fantastic and I love the glowing effects. They absolutely could've made the poorly done areas look amazing, but for some reason they didn't and the game suffers some as a result.

Other Thoughts

The Gym Challenges...they were not fun. Like, honestly some were ok. Herding Wooloo was easy, but they really didn't feel like anything I would expect from a Gym. The water puzzle in Nessa's Gym was fine, and I personally liked the spinning cup ride, but the rest just felt like agonizingly long padding because they couldn't come up with anything. Look at Circhester's challenge. It's a dowsing rod gauntlet where you have to avoid falling in pits in an artificial blizzard. It. is. SO. SLOW. That said, Spikemuth having just a Trainer gauntlet instead was kind of awkward. I reached the end and asked myself "Was that it? Is this it? Is this all there is to Spikemuth? Just one giant alleyway and a Pokémon Center?"

Raihan's three trials of worthiness challenge? It was more difficult than the battle AGAINST RAIHAN. Speaking of, I beat Hop, Marnie, Bede, all the Gym Leaders, Rose, Oleana, and Leon on my first try every time. While it was more difficult with my specific Pokémon choices, it really wasn't much. And can I just say that the Gym Badges are kinda lame? I get what they were going for, but the designs of each piece could've been really unique and intricate and instead we got glorified stamps.

I liked a lot of the general features of the game. Camping, clothing shops, League Cards. I love designing League Cards, even if I'm the only one who's ever gonna see em. That said, the clothing choices were really narrow based on what we got in Sun and Moon. The variety of different items was pretty small, though I loved all the punk leather stuff but WOW IS IT EXPENSIVE. Like Lumiose Boutique expensive. AND WHY IS THERE NEVER A REDHEAD HAIR COLOR THAT ISN'T JUST AUBURN RED? There are actually A LOT of redheads with LIGHT RED hair (that's more a personal gripe than anything, I know).

A lot of the music felt almost like rehashes of older BGMs. Like, Postwick, Route 1, and Wedgehurst all sound like they have remixed Hoenn music. A lot of the other music tracks just don't feel fitting for the areas or for Pokémon games in general. I like parts of the Slumbering Weald music and I like the Gym Music, but the opening of Slumbering Weald feels awkward and like it doesn't fit a mysterious forest we're not allowed to be in.

I know I've complained a lot, but there were some things I genuinely liked. A lot of the Pokémon designs, place names, and other radiant decor and parts of the region are actually subtle and not so subtle references to cultural points of the UK. Skwovet and its evolution for example are a gray and red squirrel respectively and are a nod to invasive species, which is neat.

In Conclusion

Is Pokémon Sword and Shield amazing? No. Is it bad? No. Sword and Shield fall into that mediocre middle ground of being ok but nothing to write home about. Could I have done without them? Sure, they aren't some world ending imperitive must play. They're ok, and they make for a fine jumping on point and a fine little adventure if you have spare time. Have other mainline games done it better? Heck yeah, but that doesn't mean Sword and Shield haven't done a few good things too.

Overall, it sort of feels like GameFreak bit off more than they could chew, or were afraid to make changes because of unfamiliarity with the Switch's hardware and software limitations. Pokémon Let's Go had a lot more effort, but it also was much safer and had a much easier to work with art style to everything. Chibi proportions are a lot easier to fake than a more realistic counterpart. Things can be not perfect and it's less noticable than with more realistic proportions, and I think they were afraid to push back the deadline any further for the inevitable backlash despite that being what they likely needed. The DLC may change my mind, but as it stands, just the fact that they feel they can JUSTIFY their laziness with DLC packs really upsets me.

I give Pokémon Sword and Shield a 5/10.

It's just, OK.

[gffa]

So... I've seen a /lot/ of your thoughts about the prequel-era of Star Wars, and the original trilogy of Star Wars is pretty much loved by everyone... but that latest meta got me thinking. What exactly are your thoughts about the new trilogy so far? What do you love about it, what do you hate about it, and where does it fall in the end?

My feelings are pretty boring, to be honest!  I like the sequels’ characters pretty well, but I’m middle of the road on the plot and the worldbuilding.  There are things I like about it very much, there are things I dislike about it, there are things I’ve dug out of the whole thing that I like, there are things I’m never really going to get over, and mostly it just doesn’t really sing to me like the prequels and originals do.Things I like about the sequels:- The characters are all pretty darling and I very much want to know more about them and their stories!  Rey and Finn and Poe are precious, I really love Maz a lot, I’m interested in Ben Solo, I appreciate TLJ bringing us the Leia/Amilyn potential, I WILL FIGHT A MAN FOR ROSE TICO, etc.- TLJ actually made me really think about Luke Skywalker a lot, how I see him and how fallible he was in the originals, versus the Pure Cinnamon Roll that was all I saw for a long time.  And it really, really helped me understand his character a lot better.- The supplementary material has been really good to me.  Whether it’s the absolute batshit of Phasma (SHE MADE HER ARMOR OUT OF SHEEV’S YACHT, THAT IS THE SINGLE GREATEST THING HER CHARACTER COULD EVER DO, LOL) or the sheer adorable feelings that Cobalt Squadron gave me about Rose Tico or how Battlefront II’s storyline connected the dots between the OT and the ST really well for me, how much I legit enjoyed some of the lines from Jason Fry’s TLJ novelization, or the Poe Dameron comic being amazing, or a whole bunch of other things!  The ST has given us the chance to have these things that I really love and I cannot (nor do I want to) full divorce those things from the movies in my mind, which means I have affection for the movies because I love the whole big picture that Star Wars is building with these characters and the galaxy!Things I don’t like about the sequels:- TLJ is something I don’t mind in and of itself at this point (mostly because I’m just so tired of the arguments) but it’s never going to be what my heart wanted, it’s never going to be satisfying for me in that sense.  Yes, I get where they’re coming from, I think it’s a fascinating look at showing that yes the dark side/dark emotions is a LIFELONG STRUGGLE to overcome, that Luke fell back into them because it’s not a one-and-done thing, but that means that’s the ONLY story we got for Luke from the sequels, as played by Mark Hamill.  If we’d had more stories of Luke with Mark, I think it would be easier to take, but this is the only thing we’ve gotten so far with Mark Hamill on the big screen, so it has all the weight of our expectations on it, and because it’s undoing so much of what ROTJ worked so hard for, it’s never going to be satisfying.  I think it’s justified in what it did, but it’s never going to sing to me.  (I would like to hope that TROS will stick the landing and make me change my mind, I’m absolutely willing to be won over, but I’m skeptical.)- Rey’s being wrapped up in the Skywalker themes, they’re going to have to step really carefully to stick that landing for me as well, and so far I haven’t been satisfied by the story.  I don’t necessarily need her to be a bio-Skywalker (though, that would be my preference), but I need her connection to them to be thematically coherent, and so far it’s not enough for me.  It’s not the worst ever, but so far it’s not singing to me, either.- The worldbuilding in the movies has been very lackluster.  The planets all look like Earth locations for the most part, the aliens aren’t very creative, there’s a weird eschewing of established aliens, like they don’t actually want this to be Star Wars in setting, and there’s no sense of this being a bigger galaxy in the movies.  The supplementary material does a lot of this lifting and I live in that space, so I’m not as cranky about it as I might have been (ie, god bless Battlefront for its gorgeous planets omg), but it’s pretty noticeable in TFA and TLJ.- The squandering of the OT cast.  I’m actually okay with Han’s death in the movies, but I’m frustrated by totally taking out any impact it has on Luke and Leia, that they weren’t even there.  Leia briefly feels Han’s loss and staggers over it, there’s mention of it in the TLJ novelization, but that’s about it.  She feels Luke’s death, she gets a moment to talk with him in TLJ, but it’s so brief.  Ben only briefly feels her and doesn’t pull the trigger on her, until one of his squadmates does.  And, hey, I get it, this isn’t the OT’s movie, they had their movies, this is the ST’s movies.  But I feel like there was a way to give them more meaning, to have their presences actually felt in the characters’ lives.  TLJ at least started us on Luke and Ben’s relationship, but for all the weight it’s supposed to have, it’s barely a blip compared to how much time he and Rey spend together.  There’s barely any interaction between Leia and Ben at all in the movies.  Han and Ben get one scene.  It’s harder for me to connect to Ben when he’s so disconnected from the people who he grew up with and so I’m told he’s part of this legacy, but I don’t feel it in the way I wish I did.Contrast this against the prequels, where Obi-Wan and Anakin’s dynamic is expanded on, that those interactions give such weight to their battle on the Death Star, to the way Vader won’t shut up about Obi-Wan, the way Palpatine’s influence on Anakin’s life has more weight now that we’ve seen what went down with them, and why it was such a huge thing for Anakin to break away from him, why seeing Obi-Wan and Anakin and Yoda standing together as spirits has so much more meaning, now that those connections were established.  You can add in new characters (like Padme and Ahsoka) while still building up what was already there, but I feel like the ST really hasn’t connected the dots that well.  There’s still this HUGE gap between ROTJ and TFA/TLJ and maybe one day I’ll come around on that, I certainly have enjoyed what we’ve been given so far, but there’s a disconnect between the ST and the OT/PT so far that’s hard for me to overcome.Where it all falls in the end:I’m hoping that I will come around and fall in love with the ST, but I’m skeptical because the ST is what brought me back to Star Wars, it’s where I started out after I watched TFA, that was where my investment was, until I started spreading my wings a bit, and the PT/OT really just bit into me hard in a way I never expected.  I started out as largely a blank slate (I was a fan as a wee thing, but my feelings back then are pretty much the opposite of what they are now, other than that I Liked Obi-Wan Kenobi, apparently that’s my one true constant!) and one part sang to me and one part didn’t.  I’m not sure TROS (especially not in the hands of JJ, who made Alias, which, look, I loved that show, but its ending was not strong, and don’t get me started on his Star Trek, SIGH) can change that for me.  I hope to be proven wrong!  There are a lot of things I will focus on and yell happily about–I love the characters, I actually genuinely enjoy looking at Luke’s character, I’m enjoying the worldbuilding of the books, comics, and games SO MUCH, but idk I just don’t have the same passion for the ST despite that I love the individual pieces a ton.(AS A NOTE:  If someone really loves the ST and has fun with it, I would like to request that you continue to do so, because people loving things always wins me over, like, the most fun I have is when someone goes, “I love that thing!  And I also love this thing!” and it makes me want to love that second thing, too!  That kind of positivity always wins me over more than anything else.)

[shizen-hime]

I've never had my chart read before :o if you're up for it, that would be cool. Born Dec 21, 1986 at 2pm in Rinteln, Germany

(my program didn’t have your town so I picked the nearest one to it)

Okay, let’s start! I like when people don’t ask me anonymously so I can see a bit the blog aesthetic since it helps me interpret heheSo as always I’m not English and if the hour is not 100% correct the interpretation can change and I`’m still learning blah blah blah

We see a really well balanced chart, though you lack a bit of air, and we actually see it kinda hurts you because of Chiron in Gemini but meh.So starting from your Asc, Venus is Taurus planet. We see it’s placed in Scorpio, and since this sign has Pluto on it, you have a strong Scorpio energy. We can clearly see how this Venus is important to you by looking at your blog, which is strongly aesthetically influenced by Scorpio (and you have a lot of your Sag planets in Scoprio’s house, the 8th), so the occult, death, deep stuff, the unseen, sex, transformation etc, are things that just are your thing. You love all things that are not what they look like? Or like you like seeing what’s inside stuff, not just the surface. And you don’t only like it but you love talking about it and have deep, meaningful conversations.I mean you only have to look at your blog to see your aesthetic, it’s so clear! And that Venus is really meaningful to you, like you HAVE to show it to the world, since Taurus is in your Asc and Venus is in the 6th house, the house of work environment, the house of the day-to-day stuff, you know? It’s part of your identity. It’s quite well aspected, so I’ll assume you’re probably very liked in your environment and workplace, but you cause a strong impression because of that Pluto there (but not like scary since it’s just there, not making any aspect). Also, Venus in this house might make you want to work at something related to health and it will ask you to reinvent and transform yourself. Your Sun and Moon are making a trine and this is super fortunate!!! Congrats! You have a kinda easy life and people probably like you a lot! You actually love children and animals, older people, etc. 

Your Leo Moon is really warm, you’re probably a true leader and also makes stronger the need to show up yourself, like you have to be original and true to yourself. Being a Sag it all makes you a really warm person. Being it at 5 you might be too... hmmm.. maybe interested in having fun? I mean, the 5th house is actually Leo’s so you’re basically in your element when you’re out or you flirt with someone? Being a Sag and that Moon there might make you a very passionate lover and a very generous one.

Super honest (maybe too much sometimes lmao) and I believe you must dislike so much gossip or stuff like that? Dunno, but Chiron in Gemini might make this. At least you don’t really like talking just because, and you hate talking nonsense, like unnecessary stuff? At some point of your life this kind of behavior could have hurt you somehow. Probably when you were between 7-13 or so. This Chiron (investigate about what this is, it’s very interesting) is actually making an opposition to your Mercury, so maybe at some point you felt you couldn’t communicate well or others didn’t understand you? Dunno but could be related to your lack of air, like you might feel you can’t communicate properly.Anyways, the Saturn/Mercury conjunction might make you someone serious about what you say, you’re very conscious and you don’t say stupid things. To say that, you just shut up (tho you won’t shut up when it’s a matter of defending others or your values).

A Sag Sun in the 8th house is really up to learn about Astrology, Tarot, the occult, magic (as we said before), so you would definitely be a good astrologer if you’d like to learn about it (I always recommend to do it, it helps a lot with anything lol). In general, you’re a pretty optimistic person (Jupiter in Pisces reinforces that), easygoing and very warm, I like you! (*sees you also have an Instagram and looks at it*) Death is definitely your aesthetic LOL, but you do it in a really loving way, you make it look very beautiful (your Venus!) and you really like animals as I assumed c:Definitely a Taurus Asc, your wide face features and forehead!

If we keep talking about your Jupiter, we can see reinforced your like in charity and your sympathetic and hospitable nature BUT it’s making a square to Chiron, so at some point you could have lost all your faith and this amazing optimism? The cure to this (if we can say it like that) as well as all Chiron difficulties are to face problems as they are and just try to solve them and if we can’t, accept them. The best part of Chiron is that you can actually use it to help others, and since it’s in the first house (just like mine) you can help others by liking themselves (probably something you had to face too). You probably inspire a lot, though you “uninspire” yourself lol. Dunno how to say it but it’s just like that.Definitely someone really liked in your environment and with that Mars conjunction it empowers that. Though Mars in Pisces gets lost (I also have it there) since it’s a warrior and Pisces definitely isn’t, it gives you the ability or the need on wanting to help others. Like if you see someone being bad to a minority or a weak person you’ll stand there for them and go to the end until you can “save” them. Really nice aspects, though you can get a bit carried away by all this “helper” energies and you might end up seeing yourself like the savior, like the one that has all the answers (adding your Mercury/Chiron/Jupiter), a “guru” or something like that (I’m also kinda like that haha). So just letting you know not everything is good or bad, white or black. All good can be bad and all bad can be good, you just have to learn how to use the energy life gave to you.

Let’s be ending! Your North Node is what you’ve come to do in this life or something like that, like your purpose here. Since it’s in the 12th house, you’re definitely here to help yourself and others, but by going to your inner self and discover who you are. Meditation is something I’d recommend you 100%. Isolating yourself is also good to you (like be alone to just think). Since it’s in Aries, sport would do very good on you too (well and who wouldn’t lmao). But yeah, like empowering yourself, be yourself and also take care of YOU. Since you’re older than people I usually read charts of (they’re all from the 2000 lol), you’ve probably experienced this “realization” energy, but you still have to go to your inner self and just meditate and discover, all your life.But you’re someone very capable of change. All your water, all your Scorpio and Sag is also a mutable sign, so definitely a very transforming person, and that’s so cool because life is about that tbh. I see you’re a trans man, and your chart tells a lot about how you’re willing to realize and able to face change without problems, willing to be your true self c:The 12th house tells a lot about this charity thing you have too! It’s like you have to find the balance to help others but by being and empowering yourself too (Aries). GOOD!

Being so much water and fire can make you someone that is like fluctuating between a lot and nothing, like it’s too much or it’s too little (dunno how to say it), like you can lack of stability a bit. And air is what you don’t have as we said, so you definitely can face problems when communicating or socializing at some point (tho I don’t think so). Maybe at sharing ideas? Meh, don’t take it too seriously.

Finishing with some aspects you might have right now. Hmm so Uranus is now entering Taurus (in your 12th house). Ever since it entered your 12th house it kind of made you suddenly change. I think it could be when you started your transition? When you realized you were a trans man? If it was during 2010 it could be, but if it was before (2007) maybe it was because of Pluto was transiting your Sun but yeah during that period of time you had to face a lot of sudden change of transformation and death and resurrection (your Pluto was also opposing to Uranus). It’s like you suddenly realized a lot of stuff and you HAD to change, and since you’re a pretty Uranian person you were totally ok with it and went to change. Now it’s like... it’s still there but you kind of have to make it solid. Like all this going to your inner self and change is making you lead to some point and you’re starting you see what it is, this March could have started this realization or this willing to make solid a lot of stuff.ALSO your career is about to change somehow? There will be a Pluto/Saturn conjunction right in your MC (career) and it will be truly on this December and during 2020 (a crisis year for all the world just wait).OOF so you got all the slow planets making things to you:1. Uranus that is transiting your 12th house, the house of your North Node, telling you what you’ve come to do in this life.2. Pluto/Saturn in your MC, telling you and giving you opportunities to change your career, to change your way to see authority, willing to empower yourself.3. Neptune transiting your Jupiter/Mars in Pisces that reinforces your charity/willing to help others, deep stuff, great imagination!!! 4. Jupiter that is transiting Sag and it gave you a pretty optimistic year and it’s still going to be there for a while, so use the energy to expand yourself.

You’ve probably had rough years but your life or the way you see it is definitely changing and you’re a changer so go for it! I definitely recommend you to investigate more about astrology, maybe Tarot or something related to this mystery stuff you like so much!

Dunno why but I felt a lot reading your chart.. like... idk I see you such a great person and I could feel it and I’m such a dumb Pisces that gets carried away by feelings so T _ T) And I see you’re so true to yourself and I think this makes you so happy, I love that.I’d love to hear what you think! I could say so many other things and there are probably tons of things I didn’t even realize (I’m still learning lol) so feel free to tell me anything or something c:

Have a great daaaaaaaaaaay!!!

[deep-hearts-core]

2001

ok, gang, jumping back into these because it's tuesday and i'm still trying to stave off that sweet sweet loneliness!

Netherlands a really nice strong start! michelle isn't a great singer, but i like the intimate staging, the calmness of the guitar, and the close harmonies. a very early 2000s piece of music in a radio friendly college sapphic sort of way. i'll be so honest, i was expecting a lot worse.

Iceland again, not bad, and not really what i was expecting. the song is catchy. i wish there had been a little more harmony in it (i'm a sucker for that shit!) because the bits we did get were really nice. the dancers were good but they weren't very in sync and i don't think they added a lot to the staging--from a staging perspective this is definitely a step down from the netherlands.

Bosnia & Herzegovina the song in itself isn't terrible. it's just that there's not a lot of stage presence coming off of this guy. the outfit is bad, he's not a great singer and isn't really giving his all vocally, and tbqh the whispered/mumbled bits into the mic were not for me.

Norway not a bad singer. ultimately i don't think i go for this kind of song. and haldor doesn't do intimacy very well? like into the camera i mean. every time we get a shot of his face there's a certain intensity in it that really throws me off.

Israel backup vocals are terrible and i do not like the song. moving on.

Russia distinctly unimpressed. i'm coming away from this performance feeling pretty creeped out? it's a combination of the singer's voice and demeanor, especially around the words "my lady alpine blue". song is meh. staging wasn't bad though.

Sweden i think it's pretty mediocre. the blonde singer is hot and i do love a good upbeat song but something about this just isn't doing it for me.

Lithuania i should hate this. really, i should hate this. i don't like disco and 5 out of the 6 people onstage look ridiculous. AND YET. something in this performance is drawing me in. the lead singer, while not a great vocalist, is... enthralling to me. i'm having a lot of fun watching this; i would like this entry a lot if it weren't for the rap break. very few eurovision songs need a rap break.

Latvia this song is "too much". ba dum tshh. i disliked the screaming from that one backup singer, and latvia... oh, latvia. latvia has a history of sending guys with just a lot of wacky stage presence. 2009, 2013, and now this. tone it down just a little bit sir. please.

Croatia the vibes of this are alright. my two main issues here: first, the ending felt a little too twee. second, vanna's presence onstage. she alternates between really nervous and overly sexual. neither of which is a great look.

Portugal song is eh and neither of them are particularly great singers although they do appear to be having a lot of fun onstage together.

Ireland solid ballad, pretty boring. it's not bad but it's not good. it is also not very memorable.

Spain such a quintessentially spanish-sounding song. i don't hate it. i'm not like super impressed but i also do not hate it. also, i've decided that david civera has tboy swag. sorry not sorry.

France it's alright? idk, it didn't capture my attention. natasha's a fine singer but this particular sort of french power ballad isn't what i gravitate towards.

Turkey strong vocals, boring song. it occurs to me that i'm not having a ton of big staging woes with the songs this year which is nice. not necessarily related to this specific song but it's really hitting me that either the stage/era was very conducive to good staging or just a lot of countries did a really good job.

United Kingdom thank god lindsey nailed that ending note, because she was really struggling vocally throughout the rest of that performance. i also second what i said about rap before - entirely unnecessary. it's just not a great song. you can see that the uk doesn't really care; the people onstage are doing the best with what they have.

Slovenia going into this, this was the only song that i really recognized outside of the top three. but it's not great. great voice, really, but the song isn't well-constructed and i extremely do not like her outfit.

Poland i like this, mostly. it's very fun, solid vocals, piasek is fun to watch. my only concern here is the backup singers. they're dressed funny and i suspect that at least one of them is wearing fake dreads. not entirely a good look.

Germany i love her dress and i love that she's singing in german and that's about it. her voice grates on me. very screamy. and the english lyrics were not good.

Estonia in my opinion, the worst part of this song is the chorus bit that goes in every recap. i went into this thinking i would hate it, but the verses are actually pretty fun and enjoyable. tanel and dave are enjoying themselves, it's a nice good song about having a good time. still not my winner probably but it's wholesome.

Malta it's... uh... okay, first of all, if it's a song about summer on the beach i'd imagine that fabrizio and his backup dancers would dress like it? the outfits are bad. second of all it's not a good song and fabrizio doesn't sound great. better than his sister's entry, but like... still.

Greece this song really gets by on helena paparizou being hot, that's what i'll say. there's a lot going on here in terms of the staging and while there's nothing egregiously bad i do feel like it could have been a lot better. you know, i hear bits and pieces of these top five songs from watching, like, recap videos on youtube or whatever and i come up with a very different picture in my head as opposed to what the song actually is. so i'm feeling a little disappointed by this one.

Denmark ok, so you know what i was just saying about hearing bits of songs and making up opinions about the whole thing before hearing it? i sort of knew that this one would be my winner from the jump. they're having so much fun, there's those harmonies in there that i love, good use of the harmonica (!!!), the clever staging of having signe svenssen walk out from backstage midsong. it's the spiritual precursor to lithuania 2015 (and also estonia 2015, in a way, just re: the staging bit i just mentioned).

My Top 23

Denmark

Netherlands

Lithuania

Poland

Estonia

Iceland

France

Sweden

Norway

Spain

Greece

Slovenia

Portugal

Ireland

Germany

Israel

Malta

Bosnia & Herzegovina

Croatia

United Kingdom

Latvia

Turkey

Russia

Voting, Intervals, Miscellaneous Thoughts so i enjoy the cold open, but it strikes me that the olsen brothers aren't that great at pretending to play their guitars. classic eurovision fail. good singers though. excited to watch 2000 just to like, see their performance, whenever it is i get around to that. the rhyming script is clever. it took me a minute to even realize that that's what they were doing lol. a little tacky now but still enjoyable. lmaoooooooooo at the host guy dropping the trophy and going "shit". i love eurovision. nothing like it. aqua's first song is unfortunately muted here. however, none of the other ones were. can i just say that it's fucking incredible to have the barbie girl song performed as an interval act? hey uhh anyone know why france kept getting booed? but then they were cheering her later in the voting so yeah idk what was up with that