#idk i'm just blabbing man

[luv-again]

realising writing rouge's/amy's perspectives is slowly healing my very possible internalised misogyny

i was a fool to be sleeping on things like this in favour of shadow </3

[janetbrown711]

Stay with me here but I think I just had a realization about Wukong.

I think Wukong's biggest weakness as a mentor isn't his overwhelming lack of proper communication/"just swallow your trauma lol you'll be okay if we just don't think about it"-- but instead it's that he doesn't believe in teamwork-- which is the exact opposite of how Pigsy (and Tang) raised MK, and is probably why he hates that monkey so damn much

Pigsy, Tang, and MK have all said "there's nothing we can't do together", leading me to believe it's some kind of family motto/philosophy they all share, but Wukong would rather zip MK up the mountain so that they aren't bogged down by the rest of the group (maybe because he believes, like with most problems, only he can help).

But isolation makes MK weaker and more anxious because he truly relies on his friends and family for everything (bro has never defeated a villain by himself lmao)-- but Wukong doesn't understand this bc he's so used to being so goddamn overpowered that he's never really had to rely on others (and/or when he has, it doesn't end well/he ends up handling it anyways), and he (probably accidentally) drives this into MK's own head, despite it not being the same.

tl;dr MK's habit of isolation (especially when it comes to his self-sacrificial desires) is low key Wukong's fault because Wukong doesn't know how to rely on others and has accidentally overridden MK's childhood teachings (which is also why Pigsy has so much beef with that monkey maybe)

[overflowing-with-hyperfixations]

i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again.

HOW. DO. PEOPLE. DECIDE. ON. NAMES

[ghouljams]

Ok, just wanna say that I love your Hephaetus!Nikto.

Just a few things I’d like to say about Aphrodite. Love the way you have them written, I am in no way trying to make you change your interpretation of them.

She is one of the oldest gods along side Poseidon. Their lore dates back way before Ancient Greece and yet Aphrodite still predates him. Aphrodite is not just a soft thing. She started the Trojan war dammit. And she’s been associated with War as well, and not just in the sense that she has a relationship with Ares but of herself (then again haven’t done much research on this part so I could be wrong).

And Aphrodite is of the sea. The sea is no tame thing. It is wild. She is the Goddess of love and beauty and I’m getting a little pissed at Nikto for thinking she wouldn’t find him beautiful when it is her literal job to see the beauty in everything. Like come on dudeeee!!!!

I think the way you wrote him also pairs kinda well with the way you have the other Olympians view Aphrodite!Reader. I’d wonder if Aphrodite!Reader will ever snap on them and show them what it means to be the goddess of love and beauty.

Also fun fact, the ancient Greeks had multiple names for love that all had different meanings. I personally don’t know them all, but from what I recall, Eros is what they call romantic love.

Sorry for blabbing on, you don’t have to respond to this at all, just wanted to vent a little.

Oh no you're fine venting, I think a lot of people often think of Aphrodite in a specific way (pretty goddess of love who just cheats on her husband and is vindictive all the time) and here's what I will say regarding the way I'm writing Aphrodite!Reader:

Neither the reader nor Nikto is a reliable narrator.

Aphrodite sees herself as this wonderful loving force but she still walks the battlefield, taking trophies as often as she takes lives. She views herself as innocent in all of this drama and rumors, but she's done nothing to stop them(It's nice having Ares talk about how beautiful and good in bed she is, y'know?) She loves Nikto but she also treats him a bit like a curiosity, waiting for him to come to her because, well, everyone does eventually.

And Nikto is stuck in his vision of being cast aside by the gods. He's trapped in their mockery of him, why wouldn't he assume his unwilling wife, who begged to be kept a virgin goddess right before their wedding, doesn't like him? Aphrodite forces their way into his life, into his space, disrespecting any boundaries he tries to put up, of course he's wary of them. But at the same time Nikto only sees the parts of Aphrodite that they want him to see, the soft, the gentle, the loving with sweet voices and stroking fingers, so of course he thinks they're a bad fit. He's every bit her opposite.

The Trojan war has yet to happen in the timeline of the hephaestus!Nikto anthology, but I keep thinking about it because it will feel very out of character for Aphrodite to start a war over something as petty as vanity, but that's only because we've been seeing her through her own eyes.

Also I will say I think a lot of my softening of Aphrodite comes from my disbelief at the way goddesses act within Greek mythology. You're telling me every single goddess is vain and jealous, that they can't keep their man from cheating on them, that the Goddess of love can't find anything to love in her husband, that Artemis would turn her back on her desire to remain a virgin because one guy looked at her the right way? Like the way that the goddesses are depicted just reeks of misogyny and that particular brand of ancient Greek hatred for women. IDK So excuse me for making Aphrodite a little out of character from the myths in my attempt to give her the benefit of the doubt where no man ever did.

[veryaren]

i'm so genuinely obsessed with this particular scene actually.

(excessive blab belowbthe cut)

DEROSS SIBLINGS HOW MANY TEARS WILL I SHED OVER U.... look at his face. like.orpheus' expression is just so genuine, more genuine than we've seen him throughout ALL of aom (imo at least) . he has not made a face so solemn and melancholy in nearly ANY OTHER PART. (which plays into why I'm largely subscribed to the theory that NIGHTMARE is "fronting" through a major portion of aom. while "nightmare" also happens to be described as gloomy, similarly to how Orpheus is melancholy, he's also said to be "cunning and mad". which seems to match the behaviors of orpheus in situations like kreiburg racecourse. orpheus, on the other hand, is differently described to be "arrogant and sensitive.") anyway. WHILE on the subject of deross siblings

TELL ME THIS ISN'T SO SWEET. this anniversary letter really makes me fall for Alice as a character. Alice is such a beautiful character (appearance wise and personality wise. she is VERY HIGH as one of my favorites.) She has such a strong drive and a wholehearted attitude and (aa a contrast to everyone else in aom) doesn't seem to let her trauma define her. I noticed how her trailer video kind of echoes that. Hers is very focused on the present, on her in the now (likely because memory already exists, but memory is quite literally an imaginary friend LET ME HAVE THIS) while a majority of everyone else has little more than a bitter rumination of their past. BUT!!!! ALICE APPROACHES WITH A MUCH BOLDER OUTLOOK! Her scenes, as dark as they get, grow brighter and more saturated as they go. which is q huge switch up from the usual bluish greys in other character trailers. the music feels much more lively, much less grave as others. (norton/fg for example. his music is ominous, foreboding. And when there's no music, it's almost eerie silence. Not even just because he's a hunter--melly, orpheus and Frederick support that. all of them have a tonal shift or a constant dark undertone to their piece. in addition to cuts in sound) Alice's music feels very forward, driving. There's an abundance of music. And even when it cuts like the others, it restarts from the beginning, not ending with a sharp chord, and even the ending note sounds lacks that same dread to it as anyone else. hopeful almost. IDK. I JUST LOVE HER MAN. AUGHHHHHHH

can you tell I'm starving for a new aom update (give me hunter melly give me hunter melly)

[totowlff]

hellooooo, how are you? i hope fine. After reading kinda all of your toto fics and feeling completely amazed by your writing skills, one question came to my mind:

have you ever thought of writing something about racing!toto and reader?? or like a flashback of why racing!toto have decided to quit after the accident? idk i’m just blabbing

well, maybe he had some kind of...

epiphany

The path was already familiar to you.

Every morning, before going to your clinic in Weissgerberviertel, you went to the building in the heart of Vienna, entered the flat number and waited for your entry to be authorized. After going up in the elevator and being greeted with a smile by the nurse who was there, you walked down the hallway to the white door and knocked softly, receiving authorization to enter.

Sitting on the bed, his patient looked at the window next to him in silence.

— Good morning, Mr. Wolff.

Slowly turning her head towards him, he limited himself to a millimetric nod.

— Good morning.

— How are you today? — you asked, approaching the bed where he was sitting in a rigid, almost robotic posture.

— Same as yesterday — he murmured.

— Feeling shitty? — you said, sitting on the edge of the bed. Your question caused a small smile to escape his lips.

— Yes, shitty.

— I can imagine — you smiled back, pleasantly.

His case was not one of the most common ones you had ever seen. Mr. Wolff had suffered a serious accident in Germany, more specifically on a racing circuit, a few weeks ago. From what you had gathered from the scant details he had offered you, he was trying to set a record when his tire blew and he crashed into the barriers.

The result of that adventure, which he classified as “suicidal”, was a concussion and broken vertebrae that would require long months of rehabilitation and physical therapy.

— Still not tasting anything?

— Not even the smell — your patient replied, with a frustrated expression on his face — Severed nerves, from what the doctor said. I'll need to wait for them to reconnect.

— I'm sorry, Mr. Wolff — you said, trying to show some empathy.

However, the man limited himself to a small smile.

— I told you not to call me Mr. Wolff — he said — I'm not like the old people you treat.

— But you are grumpy like them — you replied in a good-humoured way, making him laugh — Now let's get to the business, Toto.

After positioning a chair next to the bed, you requested the nurse's help to take your patient to her. The process was complicated, after all, he was not a small or light man, but, after some maneuvers and hisses of pain, you finally managed to get him to sit in front of you.

— Let's start with spinal rotation, okay? — you said, earning a nod from Toto — Feet on the ground, arms crossed over your chest, let's go.

The exercise was simple in theory, but for a person with severe vertebrae fractures, it was extremely painful. Not even his help so that the rotations were made slowly, in an attempt to reduce the discomfort, as well as the dizziness he felt when moving, was enough to stop him from grunting in pain every time he turned his torso.

— Fuck — Toto hissed as you slowly counted the rotations until they reached number ten. When the number left his lips, he exhaled heavily.

— All good?

— Yeah.

— How is the pain? — you asked, eyes going to his feet to make sure he hadn't left the position you had placed him in before.

— Considerable — he replied, without looking at you.

— Less than yesterday?

— Same — Toto grumbled — Fuck that Porsche...

You pressed your lips together thoughtfully. It wasn't your place to judge your patients' choices, no matter how much it took them to have to hire you to get back to something close to a normal life. However, given everything you knew about the accident, you couldn't resist making a comment.

— Maybe the problem wasn't the car, Toto.

Toto looked up at you, serious.

— No?

— You yourself said it was a suicide mission and went ahead with it anyway.

— It wasn't me who said it, but Niki...

— Lauda? — you asked incredulously — The guy who almost burned to death after suffering a racing accident?

— Himself. On the same track.

Shaking your head, you were really sure that you were facing a complete madman. No one in their right mind would do that to themselves, especially knowing the consequences, the worst of which was death.

— And even though he said he was suicidal, you did it?

— Yes — Toto replied.

— Why? — you asked softly.

He let out a sigh.

— I've always liked the Nordschleife, Y/N. It was the first track I discovered and I could never stop feeling attracted to it — Toto explained, with a little smile — I remember one time I rented an Opel Calibra and did 50 laps on the open day for tourists. I felt like I had found my place there, even though the guys at the rental office hated me for returning the car with bald tires.

You giggled, imagining the employees' incredulous expressions upon receiving the car used by Toto.

— You know, Y/N — he continued — I dare say I love that place. I love the stories, I love the curves, I love the adrenaline. Nordschleife makes me feel alive, happy. And I love it.

You had a friendly smile on your face, almost as if you understood his love for the place. However, a rational part of your head made you remember the reason why you were there, in front of Toto.

— And you love this place even though you know it almost took your life?

He stared at you for long seconds, as if absorbing his words.

— Well — Toto stammered.

— I don't judge you for having passions, after all, we all have ours. But, your passion for that place led you to do something completely irresponsible, not to say selfish.

— Selfish?

— I doubt you thought about them — you said, pointing to the picture frame on the bedside table. In the image, the boy and girl were smiling widely as they hugged Toto.

When he realized what you were pointing at, he pursed his lips thoughtfully. He definitely hadn't stopped to reflect on that. And, considering how long he would still need to remain at rest, he could think about it a lot.

— Well, shall we continue? — you asked.

With a nod, Toto placed his hands on his chest again, without saying a word for the rest of the session.

[sevensoulmates]

Buddie Meta 7x04 Part 3 (of 4)

Click here for part 1, part 2 or part 4.

Onto gay scene number four.

This is ONCE AGAIN a direct parallel to 2x01. Ya know, the gym scene where everyone was like "why is Buck puffing his chest and trying to look hotter and stronger than Eddie"? Tim Minear would have us believe it's because he was threatened by Eddie, but those of us with our third eye open all know the man was attracted to Eddie, and Eddie was attracted right back.

Even down to putting the extra weights on the lift machine, it's almost beat for beat the same Buck trying to get Eddie's attention, only this time they have six years of love and devotion under their belt. This peacocking isn't about trying to prove Buck is better than Eddie, and it's most definitely not about Tommy. Tommy isn't here, neither is he mentioned. The object of Buck's attention is purely Eddie. Buck wants Eddie to look over and notice him without a spotter and come running over to be his partner, and maybe he also wants Eddie to notice that Buck is also strong and capable and sexy. Y'all ever seen those mating rituals where the male tries to prove he's big and strong and interesting so that the female will choose him? Buck is trying to make himself appear sexier than Tommy, and in my opinion, there's no other way to read this scene than that.

He keeps looking to see if Eddie is noticing him, and when Ravi offers to be Buck's spot he shoos him away. What's also interesting is the framing of the camera. Eddie is positioned in the background between Buck's spread legs and his open arms. I'm not a filmmaker so I don't really know 100% what that means, but I just think it's an interesting choice to have Buck purposefully putting his crotch forward for Eddie to see, and keeping Eddie constantly in view only through Buck's spread arms and legs. Idk, it's givingggmmmgaysex. But what do I know?

Also keep in mind we (and probably Buck too) don't actually know who Eddie is talking to on the phone. We're meant to assume it's Tommy, but it could be Marisol, right? The last time Eddie had this kind of giggly little phone interaction it was in 6x18 with Marisol. But the show wants us to believe it's Tommy and to connect all of Eddie's actions with Tommy to being potentially romantic.

Buck specifically has a basketball delivered to the station instead of, you know, his home, in order for Eddie to notice that Buck is suddenly interested in basketball and invite him again to play with them on Thursday. And again, I don't blame Eddie for missing the signs here. Buck has made it clear multiple times in the past that he does not want to play basketball with the other firefighters. So why would Eddie suddenly assume he's interested now? Plus he's distracted on the phone, so he might not have even really fully processed what Buck said or the insinuation of wanting to play basketball on Thursday. Buck sits down completely rejected because his latest attempt to gain EDDIE'S ATTENTION (not Tommy's) has been foiled. But thankfully Chimney comes along and provides Buck another access point.

Even Chimney is confused as to why Buck suddenly wants to play basketball. His excuses are weak, and Chimney instantly clocks that Buck isn't really there to play basketball with him but because he's trying to get in with Eddie and Tommy. Whether or not Chimney knows that Buck's trying to do it for Eddie's attention is unknown. We know that he was partially around when Buck was blabbing to Maddie, but he may not have caught the full context.

Again, Buck is witness to how easily Tommy and Eddie touch, even though this in particular is much more "bro-y" than anything Buck and Eddie have ever done before. It's interesting that even though the episode is trying to show that the Tommy/Eddie relationship is similar to the Buck/Eddie relationship, there are still pointed times like this where the show still frames Tommy/Eddie as very very different, platonic-only, much more "bro-like" friendship.

This time however EDDIE is the one who calls Tommy "his boy!". Now we're finally getting the reversal of Tommy in Eddie's possessive. BUT this doesn't shift Eddie out of Tommy's possessive just yet. Instead, it is a mutual claim in conjunction with the rest of the scene that follows. So now it's not just a fear that Buck has that Eddie would choose Tommy over him, it's metaphorically come true. Now Tommy is Eddie's boy, and if that's the case, where does that leave Buck?

Eddie, as lovingly oblivious as always, is shocked to see Buck here and subtly showcases his own jealousy. It's not anywhere near on the same level, but it does show Eddie noticing that Buck never says yes to him to play basketball, but somehow Chim got him to come? It does show that Eddie is still thinking about Buck here and thinking about what Eddie wasn't able to do to convince him.

This little exchange shows yet another little way in which Tommy is encroaching on Buck's place with Eddie. The trope of "battlefield boyfriends" aka the two of them against the world. Tommy is extremely confident that he and Eddie will be able to beat Buck and Chim, and that rubs Buck the wrong way. Because up until now it's been BuckAndEddie against everyone else, and now it's TommyAndEddie. They're each other's "men". They're the team against Buck. Now it's become something hostile.

This is a poke at Buck because he figures out he's bisexual at the end of the episode. But it's also funny because back in the day there used to be a lot of talk around Eddie in particular having beards. Beards can be both a conscious or unconscious choice on the part of a queer person. For some people, they don't know they're using someone as a beard because they're still deep in compulsive heterosexuality. In my opinion, this description fits Eddie and Marisol best at this point in time. I'm not saying that this Chim line is about Eddie, but it does bring up the question of beards in canon and who/what might be considered a beard in the current storyline.

Buck, honey, Eddie was paying you so much attention here. He was trying to have a fun game of basketball game here, but Buck couldn't even let himself enjoy it because he couldn't get it out of his mind that Eddie wasn't on his team, that Eddie's playing against him, with Tommy.

Eddie says an interesting line here to Buck: "You ain't getting past me" and it's so true, Eddie. Buck is probably not ever gonna be able to move past his feelings for you, regardless of who he dates in the middle.

And then we have yet another directorial camera shot that mimics the same dynamic at the end of 7x03. Eddie is running forward, Buck is desperately following behind him, and Tommy's running behind both of them. This could be foreshadowing again how no matter how much Tommy might try, Buck will always be chasing after Eddie.

Something else interesting to me is how the Buck/Eddie body slam is similar to the Eddie/Tommy body slam. These "intricate rituals" queer men will have in order to find socially acceptable ways to touch each other. It also takes me back to earlier in the meta where I talked about men using fighting/physical violence as an excuse to touch each other, hence why wrestling is a homoerotic sport. I don't know what was going through Buck's head, but I do think he was trying in some way, to force back that physical touch with Eddie, and take it away from Tommy. And in a way, it does also feel like a punishment. Like Buck's trying to make Eddie feel bad for being this physical with Tommy. And yes, Buck was in the wrong here. He let his hurt and jealousy get the best of him here and hurt Eddie in the process.

I've seen people wonder why Buck wasn't freaking out about Eddie the way he has in the past. Well, one, this isn't a life or death scenario, and two, this is the first time it's ever been Buck's fault that Eddie's hurt. I think Buck's in shock. He's probably stunned and disgusted with himself and his desire to help Eddie is being hindered by extreme guilt, hurt, shame, and a whirlwind of other emotions he probably can't process in the moment. And that leads him to just stand still and watch instead of trying to help. He likely also thinks that Eddie wouldn't accept his help at this moment either. Buck does try to be the one who takes Eddie to the hospital, and likely would've apologized along the way. It could've been a good time for them to talk, to confront and work out the issue, but Tommy (once again) swoops in to be the one to help Tommy, effectively cutting off Buck's last chance to prove himself to Eddie.

Now, Buck's lost the last thing he can provide to Eddie over Tommy: safety, having his back, and being the one person he can always trust above all else. Buck probably thinks he's broken Eddie's trust and will lose him to Tommy for sure now. That's the kind of catastrophizing I can see him leaping to at this point in time.

Buck then does what he does best, and pulls away. Not because he doesn't care about Eddie, but because he's already accepted that he's lost Eddie.

Buck admits that this was a backward way of punishing Eddie, and Maddie rightfully puts him in his place for that. But then again, Maddie is speaking from a place of knowing what it's like to be physically abused (not saying this is abuse but it does still inform Maddie's perspective). Buck however is acting not from a place of an abuser or actually wanting to hurt someone, but from a place of living his whole life only knowing one way of getting people's attention. And for the longest time, that method involved hurting himself. And this time when hurting himself wasn't an option, it ended up coming out as hurting Eddie. Again, I am not trying to condone or excuse Buck's actions, but I am trying to provide a reason so we're not out here writing a million think pieces and fics about how Buck is suddenly a horrible physically abusive person (we're NOT having a repeat of the way y'all treated Eddie after the streetfighting arc). He made a mistake and obviously, he's going to apologize to Eddie and sincerely understand his actions were absolutely not it in the next episode. So, just like we're giving Eddie some grace here, let's give Buck some grace too. Moving on.

Maddie does have a point, and she's right in a lot of ways, however, she, as a (as far as we know) straight woman, is coming at this from the perspective of being "friend-jealous" which we all know is disproven for Buck less than 10 minutes later. This talk with Maddie does give Buck good advice, but at the same time, I do believe it's likely confused him further. Because now he believes that the way he was feeling was normal best friend jealousy feelings when they really were not. Her advice is solid but doesn't really push Buck to think deeper about why all of a sudden he felt like Eddie making a new friend was the end of the goddamn world. And she can't really know to push him in that direction because she's operating under the assumption that Buck is straight. But he's not. They're both missing fundamental information here and without that, Buck still cannot truly process the depth of his feelings. I think this is a large part of why when Tommy comes over and kisses him in the next scene, Buck finds it very easy to glom onto the "out of nowhere" notion that the reason he was acting this way the entire episode is because he wants Tommy. It's very well true that Buck could've been experiencing physical attraction and an infatuation/crush on Tommy, but now, with Maddie's misinformed permission, switches targets and projects all of his big bi feelings onto Tommy.

Buck is surprised Tommy came over, the audience and Buck both expect Eddie to be standing on the other side of the door. Tommy seems like a very observant character. He picks up on Buck's queerness (and likely Eddie's) and picks up on why Buck has been acting out of character the whole episode. Buck owns up to his actions and admits that yes, Tommy and Eddie can be friends and Eddie can have more than one friend.

We then get an acknowledgment from Tommy that actually when he spends time with Eddie and Chris, the two of them talk about Buck a lot. Eddie isn't specifically mentioned, but it's implied that Eddie has told Tommy a lot about Buck if Tommy already knows that Buck is an irreplaceable part of both their lives. It's also funny because the last time someone said this, it was Buck trying to reassure Christopher that none of his dad's girlfriends would ever replace his mom. This once again firmly places Buck in the category of an irreplaceable parent for Christopher.

This is another callback to season 3, the last time Buck and Eddie fought over the lawsuit, and Buck "making it about himself". This is a consistent character flaw in Buck, and at least now all of the characters can recognize it for what it is. It's also a callback to the 3x09 scene "You're gonna make it about you? again?" But see the thing is, I don't really think Buck was making Tommy and Eddie's friendship about him. I think he was hit with a rush of fear of missing out on what he and Eddie could be, and because he still didn't have the words to explain what exactly that meant, it came out in the only way he could think to communicate it: through trying to get Eddie's attention like a little kid pulling a girl's pigtails. It's unhealthy, yes, but it's all Buck really knows at this point.

Tommy admits that he was also jealous, not exactly of Buck and Eddie, but of the 118 and how they've built an unbreakable family bond that only came to be right after he left. Tommy wanted to be a part of that, and oh boy, if that's something Buck can relate to. The specific black hole craving to find a family that accepts you.

And I absolutely believe that Buck is curious about Tommy, does want to be his friend, and does think he's super cool and probably thinks he's super hot and attractive as well. But the vibe I'm getting here is that Buck is seeking out in Tommy what he craves from Eddie.

Go to part 4 for the last part I swear!!

Part 4. Part 1, Part 2.

[trans-leek-cookie]

listen I'm not gonna be a Curly apologist he did Fucked Up as captain but I genuinely recommend ppl watch a playthru that goes thru the game in chronological order. It kinda helps clear up the events and gaps between them, bc even tho u See the times, you still experience it out of order.

The stuff Anya says definitely sets off alarm bells but it doesn't seem like he Fully Understands what she means, and I'm going to be 100% honest I think she was trying to repress it herself. This isn't to say that she is AT ALL "at fault" for what happened after and she should've gotten help even if she wasn't ready to fully discuss the issue but I genuinely think she herself was still coming to terms with things, so she didn't necessarily process the full impact before talking to Curly, and a lot of what happens occurs after they're laid off- like this delves into personal interpretation but I genuinely think Anya only registered Jimmy as a serious danger after his outburst towards Curly. Ofc my interpretation is limited bc of the limited pov in game and not having gone through what she has, but it personally reads more akin to coercion over time than a singular Obviously Violent incident (like. Not to say that Sexual Assault isnt violent in nature, just that coercion often specifically works to obfuscate the fact it is a form of violence.) The layoff is a Massive catalyst for her bc of Jimmy, in that she now has a very clear understanding of his capacity for aggression.

To extrapolate a little from the "Dead Pixel" conversation, she starts by saying she Likes The Screen (even though it's fake). While Curly has his quotes about the pixel "not ruining the illusion" which. Y'know is Symbolic Of His Flaws. She doesn't say the pixel ruins it, just that she can't get it out of her mind.

If we take the pixel to represent her Or jimmy, either way the way she talks about it kind of downplays things, like it's a Minor Thing that's Slightly Upsetting, but she's still okay with the big picture. Idk I could be 100% wrong but that is my take

Besides that, Anya tells curly she's pregnant 2 days before the crash, and it isn't until she outright states it that he starts Putting The Pieces Together. I want to note, he says "I'd do anything" and "this doesn't have to go on our performance evals" 1. Before he knows shes pregnant 2. Under the assumption she might attempt suicide, and I doubt he even thought about her using the gun on anyone else before she brings that up. He says literally before the line where she tells him she's pregnant that "being laid off isnt a reason to hurt [herself]". Like I've seen ppl talk about the performance evaluation thing like it's about her and jimmy, but I think he's referring to (his belief) that she might attempt suicide or similar which might genuinely be a consistent thing he's seen her struggle with, given she's able to go through with it. Also just to note: assuming their society is like ours (hellish) reassuring her he won't blab Abt her mental health is like. Genuine reassurance- lots of mentally ill ppl will Not Open Up bc it could have long term consequences (like. For example. On employment) ANYWAYS I hope it doesn't come off like "Curly never failed Anya" but rather "Curly approached this specific situation without the context of why Anya is panicking and (possibly validly) assuming she's dealing with a very different issue"

Also let me say again the time frame is 2 days. We don't Really see what happens, but we know Anya tells Jimmy without Curly knowing. I genuinely believe he maybe didn't do a Great Job in those two days (the fact he says Anya should've talked to Him before telling Jimmy is uhhh. Mm. 1. Your job to create an environment where she comes to you my man 2. Weird to tell her what she should do with HER OWN PERSONAL INFORMATION) but like.

I get a lot of ppl want immediate consequences but consider that they can't really get rid of Jimmy (co pilot. Which is. Y'know it's Own Problems) but also like. Curly knows Jimmy, and we know that Jimmy tends to lash out. Curly should probably Not Confront Jimmy Unless He Knows Exactly How To Keep Him From Hurting Anya. Like I'm not an expert but this is something genuinely important- when confronting an abuser you NEED to take into account the impact it can have on their victim, and sometimes for the victims safety you need to wait until you have a Solid Plan. It sucks but it's important.

And theres discussion to be had about Curly kinda going along with Jimmy saying "well what if we all died" and like. I do believe he Didn't Realize What Jimmy Said. Like he was just processing/trying to keep the situation under control (and failing because he underestimated how willing Jimmy was to hurt everyone including himself).

Like he's definitely an enabler but I would say his problems are mostly before he understands the gravity of the situation, in that he's friends with Jimmy and assumes the best of a man with abusive tendencies, and fails to create an environment that can keep Anya and the others safe. Like, he definitely doesn't handle in game events perfectly (psych evaluation for one- he does do it instead of Anya which is actually helpful, but he still treats it like. Weirdly.)

Idk I have a lot of thoughts about this game and I don't necessarily want to defend Curly but more like. Anya's situation is very delicate (and light on details) so sometimes the way ppl talk Abt it feels like they aren't actually focused on what she wants and what it means to prioritize her safety y'know?

Edit bc I just now figured out kinda how I want to word it: curly is an enabler and making things worse bc he doesn't put a stop to Jimmy's BS, but in the specific scenario we see in game I think he's trying to use his Skillset of like, people pleasing not for Jimmy's sake but for the crews (like "if I nod my head and say I sympathize he won't lash out and hurt them") which like. There are situations which that is unfortunately the safest option (on an individual level yes, but sometimes it's also necessary to prevent abusers lashing out in response toward ppl who are more vulnerable) but it was the Wrong Choice.

It's like. I think Curly was trying and had good intentions, and understood that he needed to protect the crew, but he didn't have the toolset/experience to realize he can't Just go along with things and that he needs to be able to set hard limits, even for ppl he likes and trusts. Like he failed but the failure was "for want of a nail", where it began way before what we see (for want of an understanding of power dynamics I guess.) Again, don't think this makes curly more forgivable or whatever, I just think he's a good example of trying to make the right choices when you never realized you'd have to make these kinds of decisions and therefore are unprepared and/or unaware

Second edit: personally I don't think you can really incapacitate jimmy without there being serious risk (again he's the copilot) but curly should've given Anya the gun when she told him Abt the pregnancy

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

Ohhh Bunny! I have fulfilled your request.

C/W ::: ProHero!Hawks, Office sex, boss/secretary dynamic, oral,     p->v, cum eating I think that covers most of it. Let me know if I missed anything too too bad. 

What the hell is a drabble? Is it like, where one just blabs about some cute shit someone does? Idk, man. Someone tell me, please.

WC ::: Can't remember. I want to say just over 3,500 though.

You're the newest hire at Hawks' agency and how you landed the job will probably forever be a mystery to you. You weren't even looking for work, really. You remember a few weeks ago talking to your friend on the phone about possibly looking for work when your class load eased up a bit. But that was outside of a coffee shop. You don't even recall him being around. He's definitely someone you'd notice, too. It's just strange how it all unfolded.

Regardless, you're grateful for the opportunity to have such a chance fall in your lap. You stood in the lunchroom heating up your cold cup of coffee in the microwave when the door swung open and he walked through. "Hey, birdy. How's it goin'?" He flashed you that smile that would seem smug if it was on anyone else's face. But on him, it just looked ... "Fuck." You said. "Iiisss there a problem? Birdy?"

You looked at his eyes through his yellow tinted goggles and slowly shook your head. "I - um, no. No. Shit. Sorry. I didn't mean to say that. Out loud, anyway." He laughed and put his right hand on the counter to your left, leaning in close to your ear. "What did you mean to say?" He all but whispered that to you and you shuddered enough that he took notice.

The microwave timer went off and you jumped at the sharp sound. He backed away from you to pull the hot mug out and sat it on the counter. "'S hot, don't burn your lips, birdy. They're too pretty to be mean to. Catch ya on the other side." The door swung back and forth a few times before you realized that he wasn't in the small room with you anymore. A heavy breath left you that you weren't even aware you were holding. "M - my lips are too pretty? Jesus. I'm going to get fired. Fuck."

You spent the rest of your day trying not to think about it. Trying not to think about how you were attracted to Hawks, or how he seemed like he was attracted to you. All day it just played over and over in your brain, "... too pretty to be mean to." You wondered exactly what he meant by that. Did he want to be gentle to your lips? 

"Hey, birdy." His voice brought you back to the present moment as you watched him walk through the door of the lunchroom again. "Do you know where the file is for the last report of the 3rd quarter? I can't find it in any of the files on my computer. Would you please come into my office and help me track it down?" You nodded, packing up your leftover lunch and throwing it in the garbage and standing in front of him. "Of course, I'll help you find it. Lead the way."

You followed him out of the lunchroom and down the hall to his office, wondering why he didn't just look for it on his own. "You're so good at finding things. I couldn't find anything without you, birdy. You're the best assistant I've ever had." You smiled and walked into his office, sitting in the chair across from his desk. He sat in his chair and looked at you for a long moment before speaking. "So, guess what. I didn't need help finding the file. I just wanted to talk to you. Away from prying eyes and ears."

Your mouth dropped open in surprise. "Oh. Well, um, okay. W-what do you need, Hawks?" He scooted his chair back and spread his legs wide, smirking at you. "You mean to tell me you don't already know? C'mere. Sit on my desk, right here in front of me, little birdy." You stood and smoothed your skirt down, not that it mattered. It was a linen skirt that was supposed to look bunched up. But you wanted to do something with your hands before you hopped up on his desk.

You did as he asked, and he pushed your knees apart with his index fingers, looking up at you with a devious grin. "This okay, birdy? You ... okay?" You nodded and swallowed hard. "Ye-ah." Your words got caught in your throat as he slid his hands under your slip and ran his thumbs over your thighs. "Can I touch you?" You nodded again and he pulled your panties to the side, running his index finger over your slit. "You're wet already. Good girl."

He leaned in and pressed his lips against your clit, sucking hard as he continued to move his fingers around your pussy. You could feel your thighs tremble and your stomach clench as he worked you over, bringing you to the edge and then backing off just to do it again.

"Hawks - fuck - please. Did you call me in here to---" He interrupted you, "I called you in here so I could find something, little bird. Now," he began lightly scratching your thighs, "I think you can help me find … your … this." Your head fell back as he began to run his fingers through your folds. “H-oh god, Hawks …” He pushed his goggles off of his face onto his head and looked up at you through lazy eyes. “Found it.”

You moaned and pushed his hands away as you hopped off of his desk. He watched as you walked to the wall-sized window of his private office, looking out over the city. You wanted to face him and look at him while you stood there waiting for him to make a move. It didn't take long for him to walk over to you. "Why're you flittin' away from me, hm? You got somewhere better to be? Something else you'd rather be doing?"

He stood so close behind you. The heat from his body was palpable. You closed your eyes as he resumed his efforts. Licking and sucking your neck and your shoulder until you were practically panting. "Keigo, fuck." He pulled away from you and grabbed your hips, pulling you closer to the back of the brown leather couch.

Hawks scooped you up in his arms and tossed you over onto the cushions. You bounced a couple of times, "Oh!" laughing at the fun of being virtually weightless. He walked around and got on his knees in front of you.

"What are you…? Are you gonna--" He smiled and nodded, "Mmhm. You want me to eat you out? Is that what you want, birdy?" You nodded and he started to tug your panties down. You lifted your hips and helped him slide them off before he threw them behind him. You opened your legs for him and he leaned in, licking and sucking on your clit like he'd done before.

You moaned and writhed around on the couch as he slid his fingers in and out of you. "Fuck, Keigo, I'm so close. Please don't stop. Please, don't – hah!" You exploded all over his face and fingers, grabbing a fistful of his hair as he lapped up every bit of you. He moved up to your chest, licking and sucking on your nipples, leaving tiny red marks all over your tits.

"Can you stand up? I wanna fuck you so bad. Can you handle it, birdy?" You stood up and turned around, bending over the back of the couch. "Yes, please." You smiled up at him. He laughed and smacked your ass before unzipping his pants and pushing them down around his knees. He grabbed your hip and lined himself up, sliding his cock inside of you.

"Shit. You're so tight. Fuck, I love it." He began to move his hips in and out of you, fucking you from behind while you pressed your face into the couch cushion. You felt your second orgasm building as he pounded into you, his balls slapping against your clit. "Are you gonna come for me again, birdy? C'mon, I wanna feel it. Let me feel it." He fucked you harder and you could feel yourself clench around his cock as he filled you up.

After a moment, he pulled out and cleaned up, pulling his pants back up and tucking his dick back into his green and blue plaid boxers. You stood there, his cum dripping down your thighs and he couldn't help but take notice and admire how messy you were right now.

"You uh, well, there's a little somethin', hell. Sit. Let me help you with this." He scooped the cum from your thighs and pushed it back into your pussy and then he sat you back down on the cushion. Hawks kneeled before you and kissed up your legs, from your knees to your entrance.

"Hmm - mm-hm." He licked your hole, sucking a little bit. He pulled back and stood up, looking down at you. "There you go. A nice little birdy bath." You couldn't help but chuckle at that. As you laughed, more cum leaked out of you. Hawks just smiled. "Let's get you cleaned up ... again? Can't have you leaking cum all over the office."

He helped you pull your panties back on and straightened out your skirt. "Now, let's figure out our excuse to get your sweet ass back in my office tomorrow, shall we?"

Taglist ::: @millennialmagicalgirl @arlerts-angel @callm3senpaii @darkstarlight82

Sorry, I screwed up earlier and had to fix it.

[bunkernine]

PLEASE speak abt the parents Beryl Tristan and Esperanza 🙏 🙏 🙏

Ok outside of firmly believing that those parents HAVE to be legacies (esperanza ESPECIALLY or at least she saw thru the mist) I'm just gonna blab about an AU that makes me laugh. The way I spent 30 mins writing this instead of my finals...

Quick run down: the three of them were friends, tristan and beryl as childhood friends actually, and then they accidentally kill a man (monster)

Beryl:

Grew up poor in a small town, "trailer trash", extremely critical alcoholic mother. Dad left when she was a kid. Had an older brother who left as soon as he could and never calls

Enjoyed watching movies and tv to imagine a better life she can live in

Nerdy as hell in school, wore the biggest glasses in the world. Had a huge crush on tristan for YEARS, especially when he got hot in high school, but liked him before too

Esperanza

Has the sight, can see thru the mist and it scares the shit out of her. Part of why Rosa thinks Leo is fucking devilspawn cuz Esperanza thought she was seeing demons. She moved around a lot growing up because of that fear, but also Hazel's curse

Kinda a rebellious punk, wildchild younger sibling. Her and Rosa are CONSTANTLY fighting

She moves into Tristan and Beryl's town in high school, after her mom died.

There's a satyr and demigod in her class. She doesnt think too much of it. Her teacher is weird....

Tristan

Kinda geeky, has 5 siblings but never talks about them too much. Was always a very sweet and quiet kid. Childhood friends with beryl, also poor too

Super into Ezperanza because she's different. Even when she's weird and mumbling about being chased she's still sooo cool compared to the town they're in.

Okay so now that they're in high school... I think this would be the early 80s 🙂 they essentially are together in a rag tag group, lost trio style, until they see a demigod getting attacked. Tristan hits the monster with his car. The 3 of them are HORRIFIED because they killed a man, but Esperanza keeps talking about monsters and explains it. The demigod's satyr is fucking young Hedge 💀 he's shit at his job so he just tells them about demigods and stuff.

Beryl is slowly ENAMORED by this. Starts drinking from this event but she is DELIGHTED by the idea of a new better world out there. Ezperanza feels like SHIT! She thinks this is all her fault and she's cursed. Tristan is going CRAZY, racked with grief. He is not doing well at ALL!!!!

Anyway they go to college with this in California together, mostly out of being closer but also fear of this secret (dead body) weighing on them. A few more monster and minor god encounters. Eventually, Hedge has to mist-wipe Tristan's memories because hes going crazy, which causes Hedge's issue with the Council of satyr elders or whatever. Idk its in the books lol. But this causes them all to separate and go their separate ways when Tristan can't remember the other two.

Beryl drops out of college, and gets scouted as she is waitressing. Has her big break, goes onto TV and gets famous. She begins to forget some of the little things about how much the demigod world is HORRIBLE. Once, she meets up with Esperanza and they stumble into a minor god, which makes her remember how much she wants to be in that world. She meets Zeus at a party :) and thinks he's charming and powerful, just different. It reminds her of the monster experience. She fucks that man obviously. Desire for something different to her shit life. She is CRAZY!!! 🩷

Esperanza goes to New Rome Uni because i luv that place idk if they allow mortals but she will!!!!! Because she goes to that fake school, no mortals really take her degree seriously which is why it was harder for her to get a job. Never taken seriously. She heads back to Texas eventually. She know he's Hepaestus when he approaches her at a library, doesn't like the idea of getting involved with that god stuff. Still falls in love. When her great grandfather falls ill (Sammy) she demands hepaestus to stay with her. He doesn't obviously, but he promises to come back, if not for her than for Leo. He has to. He doesn't.

Tristan doesn't go to college, he just works at like, fucking Hollister or Abercrombie because he's hot now. He meets Aphrodite a few times but she's busy and he doesnt give in. Eventually they meet at the beach surfing and she's like "I've been trying to get your attention for a while now"... She doesn't tell him she's a goddess but Tristan kinda has a familiar feeling. He's forgotten what it was but she just feels different. When piper grows up, aphrodite sends little gifts to "her favorite heartthrob" and he just gives it to Piper.

......

Anyway it was just putting little seeds together + being crazy. Beryl and Esperanza sometimes still talked. They met once when they were pregnant and talked about their kids playing together. Esperanza, seeing theu the mist, had an idea that Beryl was fucking a god, but its not like she has high standing either. Beryl and Tristan bumped into each other with their acting careers, but Tristan doesnt really remember Beryl the way he should. Esperanza and Tristan have some kind of twisted relationship I fear of will they, wont they with Beryls jealousy 🙄 such it is. Naturally the same with Beryl and Esperanza 🙏

[theclearblue]

Hello, this is just ask for fun...

Favorite female character :

Favorite male character :

Favorite animanga :

Animanga you are currently enjoying :

Animanga that exceeded all your expectations :

Unpopular animanga you really love :

Favorite romance :

Favorite action animanga :

Favorite fantasy :

Favorite sci -fi :

Favorite drama :

Favorite comedy :

Favorite anime movie :

Next in your watch list :

Next in your read list :

Favorite antagonist:

Thanks if you want to answer....

Oh this might be get long because I love blabbing on about things I like, but if you're ok with that I'm happy to answer! (also disclaimer idk if anything here will be like. DEFINITIVE all time favorite but all of my answers will at least be within the realm of being one of my favorites lol).

Favorite female character: I just did a Chihayafuru rewatch and forgot how much I really liked Chihaya!! I relate a lot to her of having this kind of hyperfocus/passion for things I love and losing myself to it a little bit, and also how she navigates that passion with the relationships she's formed. I kinda hc her as neurodivergent like me lol but I think she's such a good protagonist!

Favorite male character: Going through heavy Sanji brainrot right now so I gotta go with him lol. You guys know my feelings, but the fun thing about Sanji is how deeply layered he is and how you can just keep picking at him. He has such deep flaws, he can be kind of insufferable but at the same time so caring and good, he really fascinates me.

Favorite animanga: God it has to be One Piece, and I hesitate in saying that because I got into it so recently, but man. Don't get me wrong, it's flawed, I can bitch about the things I don't like, but at the end of the day, there are very few things I've loved to this extent. The themes and the characters and the world and just everything works so well and is filled with such love and care and attention. And it just keeps getting better, which is ridiculous, this thing has been going on for 25 years and Egghead is one of the best arcs in the series. I have full trust that it will stick it's landing and it will be unlike anything we've ever seen.

Animanga I'm currently enjoying: I've been making my way through Blue Lock, it's a lot of fun! I finished the one season that's available and now I'm reading the manga. More of an action series than a sports series lmao but the characters are really fun to watch, it's intense, and it's pretty funny in how intense it is lmao.

Animanga that exceeded all of your expectations: One Pi-No we're going with something else lmao. I'm gonna say JJK actually! I actually gave the first episode a try around the time it aired and it just...did not click lol. Didn't watch more, and then one day I had nothing to do and gave it another try, and I wanted to smack myself, because I think JJK has a great first episode/opening. REALLY liked the first season and then read HI and Shibuya and was just shocked by how good it was, it really surprised me in how amazing those arcs are.

Unpopular animanga you really love: Not sure if this means unpopular as in "guilty pleasure" or "underrated" so I'll answer both lol. I still think it's good but Kill la Kill is definitely a guilty pleasure as well for me, it has a lot more fan service than I'm usually comfortable with and I would undeniably embarrassed to be seen watching it lmao. In terms of underrated, for manga I would say I want Sweat and Soap to be a lot more popular than it is (begging god everyday for an anime adaptation). For an anime, Mushishi definitely is critically acclaimed but I don't think enough people have watched it, it just has such a unique and calming atmosphere, even with the melancholy. It's a good intro anime too for people who are just starting out as well.

Favorite Romance: Oooh maybe a three way tie between Yona of the Dawn, Fruit's Basket, and Kaguya Sama Love is War. All three are so different lol, but maybe something I like about all of them is that (apart from fanfiction) I don't usually like reading straight up romance, there's gotta be something else too. With Yona it's the fantasy elements/big plot, with Kaguya it's the comedy, and Fruba is mainly a romance but it focuses on all the interpersonal relationships, not just the romantic ones. But it kind of simmers in the background until later on it overtakes the story, that's honestly the good shit.

Favorite Fantasy: I might just have to give a list here lmao - Revolutionary Girl Utena, One Piece, FMAB, ATLA, Yona of the Dawn, HxH, Dungeon Meshi, Lord of the Rings, PJO, Princess Mononoke, Howl's Moving Castle, Discworld, Mushishi, The Tales from Earthsea (NOT the ghibli movie lmao the book), and if I can include video games: All of the Legend of Zelda series, Hollow Knight, Hades, Super Mario Galaxy

Favorite sci-fi: Everything Everywhere All at Once, or maybe Stein's Gate as well! Oh Neon Genesis Evangelion too.

Favorite drama: Shōwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjū, I also watched Succession and enjoyed that a lot too (kinda a comedy too but more of a drama imo). Omg I can't forget Monster either (is it a drama? idk close enough)

Favorite comedy: Hmm one I haven't really talked about is Hinamatsuri. Omg I should rewatch that, it really is hilarious lmao I love it a lot.

Favorite anime movie: Princess Mononoke, Your Name, and One Piece Baron Omatsuri and the Secret Island. OH I really like Promare as well!

Next in my watchlist: That's the question lmao. Considering a rewatch of either Haikyuu or ATLA, and I am currently watching Dungeon Meshi, but I want to maybe watch a longer series next? I would take recs though!

Next in my read list: After Blue Lock, I'll probs go back to my One Piece read and also do a Chainsaw Man reread, I am woefully behind and have forgotten pretty much everything rip. Also need to reread Yona at some point but I might wait til the summer for that.

Favorite antagonist: Kenjaku <3

[luv-again]

the ambitious thought of: "what if I,, retold more of shadow 05, not just cryptic castle ?"

[margokesses]

Okay so I don't have much knowledge on 616 gwen Stacy and I've only read a few issues of the spider gwen run... but I can speak on the itsv/astv gwen Stacy.

And even though I'm kinda neutral on her character (it takes a lot to get me interested into a yt woman character nowadays)

I do like how the atsv writers are avoiding making the whole "death of gwen stacy" thing a huge plot point.

Like I'm aware that there are like references to that infamous moment in the films. There's her falling dramatically in the first film at the collider fight and in the 2nd film when they're in mumbahattan. There's the line she tells miles about how "spiderman and gwen stacy don't end well in other universes". In the 2nd film there's a small scene where a bunch of au peter parkers say "hi" to her and she says "hi" back.

But other than that it's not really mentioned and brought up as much and gwen is allowed to feel like her own character outside of that moment. And I like that bc if they did make it a major plot point it would feel awkward and remind the audience of the fridging and take away what makes her so interesting.

Bc I remember seeing a comic panel and it was spider-gwen and 616 peter parker and she was like "I wasn't able to save peter" and peter was like "I wasn't able to save my gwen" and then they agreed to like protect each other from now own.

And I know that it's supposed to sound sweet and whatever but it just reads as awkward to me bc if I remember correctly spider gwen in the comics is like 19 and peter is like late 20s/early 30s. And on one hand I do get that grief is a powerful thing and he did love his gwen stacy but like... he should have moved on at this point. And it doesn't help that like spider gwen is the same age as 616 gwen when she died (I think?).

Like idk its so weird. And I remember when itsv came out and the scene of peter b seeing rip Peter's mj at the party and him just blabbing on and gwen is like "I've been there buddy you gotta move on" about her seeing another peter after hers died.

And ppl online were saying "oh well why doesn't peter mention the fact that he's seeing an au version of his gwen that died?"

And it annoyed me and reminded me of that comic panel again except this time it's worse bc itsv peter is like 40 and itsv gwen is like 15.... like y'all don't think it would be weird for a grown ass man to tell a teenage girl that she reminds him of his dead gf??

Anyways this just turned into me rambling and sorry if it doesn't make any sense but yeah tldr: atsv bringing up the death of gwen stacy is a good thing and would be weird and I wish the fanboys would stop wanting it to be talked about every 10 seconds.

[crazyunsexycool]

Idk why I to this to myself (and you, I'm sorry!) But I just thought of 2 scenarios. One is for is it a crime? Based on the previous ask about it, can you imagine reader and Bucky are in a relationship again and have been for some time now, Bucky is all excited because he wants to propose to her/or maybe they're engaged and he's excited because they're planning the wedding and it's so soon! And she still has that dickhead abusive ex who Bucky saved her from, but he comes and finds her and kills her. Jake finds out and he immediately finds Bucky to tell him, but because Bucky is so excited about the wedding/engagement he doesn't realise how distraught Jake looks and he's blabbing on about how much he loves reader etc etc and Jake is like "Bucky... Bucky... BUCKY" trying to get his attention and then he tells him she's gone 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Second scenario is for the love we gave away. Ransom and reader are with the twins and Ransom mentions something about reader to them and says "your mum" like in the story, Theodore is like "she's not my mum" Ransom is annoyed and reader is upset. Fast forward and it's just Ransom and Theodore are alone and Ransom brings it up to him and he's just like "SHES NOT MY MUM AND SHE NEVER WILL BE SHE LOST THAT RIGHT WHEN THE BITCH GAVE US UP" or something 🥺 I'm not saying he would ever say that ofcourse, just a scenario ❤️

Why would you do this to me? I thought we were friends.

A/N: for Is it a crime? This is a what if of a what if… since Justin was killed in the last one.

Anyways here we go….

Warning: angst, talks of death, blood, Ransom has good intentions but the execution is very bad!

Is it a crime?

Jake had walked into Bucky’s office. The joyful conversation a contrast to the news he had to share. He still had blood soaking his once vibrant graphic tee, one you had given him as a gift.

“Bucky.” Jake called out, his eyes unfocused on the man in front of him.

“Oh hey Jake, I’m glad you’re here.” Bucky says without looking away from his laptop. “I need your opinion. I’m thinking of getting Y/N a cabin as a wedding gift”

“Bucky.”

“But I wasn’t sure if I should get one upstate or a different state altogether.”

“BUCKY.” Jake yells this time and Bucky’s head snaps up to meet his eyes.

“Oh fuck, Jake what happened? Are you ok? Do you need a doctor?” Bucky stood up quickly with the intention of helping Jake to a seat but Jake just grabbed Bucky’s forearm.

“I’m so sorry. I-I uh it-it’s…” Jake struggles to find his words.

Bucky pulls out his phone to call you but it just rings than goes to voicemail. He tries this a couple of time while keeping his eyes on Jake who has a far off look in his eye.

“He came back.” Jake’s voice broke as he said it. “He came out of nowhere and now she’s-“

A pit formed in Bucky stomach. His hands started shaking as he walked back to stand in front of your childhood best friend l.

“I was right there and I couldn’t protect her. I’m so sorry.” Jake cried. The image of you taking your last breath in his arms played over and over again.

“No no no no. Please tell me this is some cruel joke. Please…”

Steve bursts in through the door, his eyes red and cheeks tear stained. Their eyes met and Bucky knew for sure you were gone. Bucky felt his knees go weak and he fell to the floor as he cried for you. For the future that was ripped away from both of you not one but twice. It was a while before any of them spoke up.

“We found him.” Is all Steve said before Bucky stood and grabbed his gun.

He only had one thing in his mind and that was making Justin Hammer suffer for taking you from him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The love we gave away.

The four of you had been sitting in your living room. Annie would be working late and the twins had wanted to hang out. You and Ransom were currently telling them a story from high school.

“Oh man, I remember the dress your mom made for herself for homecoming. She looked amazing in it.”

“She’s not our mom.” Theodore mutters with an eye roll.

Ransom scoffs but he can see your smile falter at the comment. Abigail had elbowed her brother and muttered something about being rude but he just shrugged. There’s an awkward tense filled silence until you excuse yourself. Abigail is quick to follow you while Ransom makes himself a drink.

“Why do you have to do that?”

“Do what?”

“Say that she isn’t your mom. You could just let the comment slide, she did give birth to you.” Ransom says as he turns to look at Theodore.

“Because I have a mom and she isn’t it.” Theodore gets up and starts walking past Ransom but Ransom stops him.

“What is your issue. Like it or not Y/N is and will always be your mother so how about you show her some damn respect.”

“SHE’ NOT MY MOTHER AND SHE NEVER WILL BE.” Theodore gets in Ransom’s face as he continues to shout. “SHE GAVE THAT RIGHT UP WHEN SHE GAVE US UP.”

Ransom grabbed Theodore by his shirt and pushed him against the wall. Rage coursed through his veins as he looked at his son.

“Don’t you ever fucking talk about your mother like that agin you hear me. You don’t know the heartbreak we went through when we had to give you up.”

“Yeah, well maybe if you would have been smart enough to use protection it wouldn’t have been an issue.” Theodore snaps back.

“Oh my god! What the hell is going on here? Ransom let him go.” You ran towards them and pulled Ransom off.

“Even after your disrespect she still protects you and you still want to be a whiny little shit.” Ransom scoffs.

“One you won’t ever have to worry about again. Get your things Abigail we’re leaving.”

Theodore glared at Ransom until they disappeared around the corner. A few seconds later the front door slams closed. With tears in your eyes you turn to look at Ransom.

“What the fuck was that about?” You demand an answer.

“I don’t like the way he was treating you. He acts as if we sold them to the worst people to ever exist.”

“And your solution was to slam him against the wall?”

“I was defending you.”

“I didn’t ask you too. I would have handled it.”

“The same way you handled every time your dad beat you.” He sneered but his face dropped the minute the words left his mouth. “Thimble I-“

“Get out.”

“Baby please, I’m sorry.”

“I said get out. You better hope they want to see us again because of not this is over.” You motion between the two of you.

Ransom doesn’t say a word he just grabs his jacket and walks out. The door slamming shut for the second time. You sit on the couch and cry yourself to sleep.

[thelivingautomaton]

welcome back to "additional galaxy brain thoughts on the wheel of time". today i will be Considering(TM) book 3 and the first ten or so chapters of book 4, mostly repeating and building off of my livetweets. tl;dr: robert jordan is a genius and i am the chucklefuck going insane over The Narrative Of It All

now that we're making good headway into the books, i think it's interesting that rather than grouping thoughts/observations based on concrete material stuff (i.e. events, lore, characters), i feel like i can start grouping observations based on narrative themes and motifs that keep cropping up, so let's start by talking romance

okay so like. i do kind of get why people think the way robert jordan writes (or rather, doesn't write) romantic relationships is weird, and i DO kind of wish that he did a better job of like, threading the line between "i am going to leave explicit conversations and thoughts about romantic feelings unsaid and let the reader see what's going on through the actions of pov characters, knowing that they have to filter a character's thoughts and words through said character's inherently unreliable/biased perspective" and skipping straight to "these characters have now Realized their feelings and are just going to speak them out loud now even if it feels like there's been little to no buildup"

that being said. i think it's a fascinating way to actually depict romantic arcs, because to a certain extent it feels...true? like, sometimes people really do be completely oblivious about their own feelings for the longest time, and then all of a sudden they have some epiphany for no real reason and are like "oh shit i love this person!" or alternatively "oh shit i DON'T love this person!" also rj gave himself a built-in excuse by being able to handwave and go "idk, ta'veren!" which is honestly a little based of him

(i will probably talk more about this downthread but rand just casually warping the pattern as he's making his way to tear and the way that that manifests as like...townsfolk deciding en masse to marry each other, or defeating whitecloaks by making them look foolish without undue violence, or giving a starving town a bountiful harvest? makes me insane to think about from both a worldbuilding/narrative perspective -- literally what if you were a walking hurricane of Narrative pulling threads and lives after you in your wake, literally WHAT IF -- and also a character perspective, because it gives SO MUCH insight into rand as a person that THAT'S how his ta'veren magic manifests. anyways)

i think that of the various romantic entanglements that have really happened so far, this worked best for depicting perrin and faile BY FAR, which feels like maybe a hot take? but my GOD their relationship makes me feel crazy in the best way. i'm already a sucker for the slap-slap-kiss dynamic, but i also adore how faile initially sees perrin as a puzzle she wants to figure out and how she's so good at putting some pieces together (like that an aes sedai, a warder, and an ogier all together must be important, and mysteries like that will lead her either to the horn or just to being part of a big important story), and how she's the only person that really makes perrin lose his cool and speak without thinking (the scene where he and then moiraine accidentally blab everything about the dragon and the horn already being found was fucking hysterical).

AND THEN PERRIN GOING IN TO TEL'ARAN'RHIOD TO RESCUE HER???? and swearing that after this he'll only call her faile like she wants??? freeing her first as his wolf-self (which, also: insane concept, love it, thank you rj) but then finding a door and chains he can't break as a wolf, so he has to manifest himself as a man and a blacksmith and use the hammer? AND THEN WAKING UP AFTER BEING MAULED BY DREAM BIRDS WITH FAILE LEANING OVER HIM AND HE JUST WHISPERS "my falcon"????????? FUCKING. AUGH

so like, it WAS a jarring surprise in a way at the start of book 4 that suddenly perrin and faile were definitively In An Established Relationship, but then i thought about it for 3 seconds and was like, okay actually maybe they didn't need to have an explicit "i have feelings for you" scene. maybe "my falcon" WAS that scene. your honor i love them

by contrast a lot of the other romantic relationships have had a lot less focus or screen time that ISN'T just "uh oh, suddenly i realize i have feelings for this person but can't act on them for xyz reason", i.e. nynaeve/lan, rand/elayne, and rand/min (ESPECIALLY rand/min, although conceptually i'm kind of obsessed with Guy Who Is The Narrative's Biggest Chewtoy falling in love with Girl Who Sees The Narrative Most Unambiguously But Cannot Affect It) which is why i think they fall a little more flat for me, at least currently

that being said, i can largely get behind rand/elayne based on their first meeting in the palace garden (oh to be a farmboy with a concussion and have your wounds delicately bandaged by the daughter-heir with her own richly-woven kerchief!) and the scene where they tell each other that they're "very fond" of the other, which was SO cute and dorky

it's funny in a way because i almost feel like the romantic scenes between two characters in love are more of an afterthought than scenes where characters who are friends talk ABOUT their romantic feelings for others and how to go about dealing with them, because THOSE scenes really shine with how much light they shed on the non-romantic interpersonal connections

specifically thinking here of the one-two combo of moiraine briefly making a comment to the girls about her own romantic prospects (or lack thereof) followed by nynaeve bringing egwene and elayne wine so the three of them can talk about rand and what to do with elayne's feelings, egwene's lack thereof, and how to deal with berelain

(sidenote: you truly have to hand it to berelain for the hustle and the chutzpah to just directly walk into the dragon reborn's chambers, hair done face beat tits out, and ask if he's DTF)

anyway i love those kinds of scenes because they just feel so NORMAL, you know? like, the girls are, politically and magically speaking, three of the most important people on the god damn continent. but they're also teen girls! (except nynaeve who's like, 24, but you know what i'm getting at) they're gonna have normal girl talk! it's gonna be filtered through their extreme circumstances but they're gonna have normal-ass wants and feelings and desires!

also sorry but it will never not be funny to have a compare-and-contrast switch of povs in the middle of a chapter, like egwene leaving rand thinking "aw, i know he was lying when he said he also didn't love me, at least he's not taking it too hard!" and immediately going to rand thinking "i....don't think egwene believed me about me loving her like a sister"

when's mat gonna fall in love huh. like on the one hand i think it'd be neat to represent the full spectrum from "immediate established relationship" (perrin and faile) to "relationship that takes time to figure out" (rand and elayne/min) to "no relationship, just vibes" (mat) but on the other hand it would be SO FUNNY.

actually this kind of dovetails nicely into my next group of thoughts, which is mat cauthon: the rogue of all time

i'm dedicating an entire bullet list to him because book 3 is the first we get with his pov and his real character (without an evil dagger eating his soul) and good fucking GOD

this man really woke up from his magic coma, ate the equivalent of 4 full meals, walked outside, challenged TWO skilled swordsmen to a fight, WITH HIS QUARTERSTAFF, purely for shits and giggles. AND THEN HE WINS. and then has to prop himself up on his quarterstaff so he doesn't immediately fall over. THE SCENE OF ALL TIME

(sidenote: i am continually surprised by how much i like galad and gawyn. i think there's something interesting to be said about how they serve as parallels/foils to rand, but also, i would like to see more of them, and i would like to see more of the goofy-ass sibling dynamics between gawyn, galad, and elayne. thank u)

and like, he literally just DOESN'T STOP being The Most Guile Hero Rogue Ever. getting his hands on the amyrlin seat's "i can do what i want" permit! breaking in to the palace in caemlyn so he can actually literally give elayne's letter to morgase with his own hands like he promised! (sidenote, i have a lot of percolating thoughts about mat's luck and love him testing things to see how it works, like figuring out that it works best when it's random -- my additional takes are that it also only works for things he outright says or promises he'll do, a la "making a wager", and that it works better the more the odds are against him. fucking immaculate concept, thank you for this rj.) blowing a hole in the side of the impenetrable fort with fireworks he's been carrying around for half the book!

but i also think he's such an interesting counterpart to rand and perrin because (like lanfear points out in her dialogue with him) he's the only one of the three ta'veren who DOESN'T have to be tempted to glory, who DOES want to be more than a farmer/shepherd/blacksmith

...i was about to add "who ISN'T running from his role in the narrative" except then i realized: that's actually not true at all, mat is 100% running from his role in the narrative just like rand and perrin, he's just doing it in a different way (i.e. embracing his weird ta'veren magic but running from the deeper implications of why he has that magic and what he should bend it towards beyond just "fuck bitches get money")

...which then dovetails nicely into my next thoughts, Dear God The Narrative Of It All

THE NARRATIVE OF IT ALL!!! the boys each dealing with the inner conflict between refusing their role, embracing it for the wrong/selfish reasons, and fulfilling it because it's their duty and nobody else can do it and it has to be done! MY GODDDDDDDDDD

i think this manifests in the most interesting way with the bubble of evil scene at the start of book 4, specifically how what manifests for the three boys is a personification/symbolic representation of each of their respective conflicts: perrin versus the axe, mat versus the cards (i.e. his luck), and rand versus his reflections

and each of those fights has some specific details that make it really clear imo that what they're fighting is themselves, or a subconscious part of themselves. the axe tries to kill faile as well as perrin, and perrin thinks that if his own axe harms her he might actually die. mat sees the faces of nobility on the cards (the amyrlin seat, queen morgase) because he's the one who's most averse to nobility, or those in power more generally (i.e. aes sedai). rand SPECIFICALLY has to defeat his reflections by absorbing them into himself, and SPECIFICALLY thinks that if he's defeated, the reflections will fight each other until there's just one that has his face and his life and his memories...just like how his life is already being coopted and warped by the image/role that others see him as (i.e. the dragon reborn). robert jordan you are making me SICK (compliment)

also, literally every comment someone makes about how they're all changing, or specifically how rand just wants to be rand al'thor the shepherd, makes me want to scream cry and throw up. IT'S SO MUCH. my current favorite crackpot theory is that when all is said and done and the last battle is won, one of the boys, probably rand, is gonna wind up just walking off into the sunset as an anonymous traveling bard/gleeman.

like i know rand is supposed to shed his blood fighting the dark one and everyone is pretty sure he's gonna die horribly from Channeler Madness if not during the last battle, but come on. for my own sanity if nothing else i have to believe he'll get to the end alive, SOMEHOW. and like, i think it would be really beautiful if after suffering as the dragon and as a tool of the pattern, he's able to just...travel, and be free, and tell stories instead of being part of one. and he even liked playing the flute for his supper! just let me have this, PLEASE

the other big thing that has me going "oh my god the narrative of it all" is the way that dreams and the dream world are becoming bigger parts of the story, vis a vis perrin's wolf dreams and egwene using the stone ring to go into tel'aran'rhiod, as well as the sheer amount of space dedicated just to lanfear fucking with all of their dreams for no apparent reason other than being dramatic and evil. insane concepts, i love it all, i love SYMBOLISM

i had some other thoughts (mostly about the structures of books 2 and 3 being super similar but book 3 allowing the main characters to exert more agency and get pushed around by the plot less) but i think those i covered pretty well in my twitter thread. anyway i just got to the exposition dump about the redstone doorway that can answer three questions and am now eagerly awaiting the time when everyone insisting they can't or shouldn't go inside gets forced to go inside regardless and shit immediately goes fucking crazy, because it's gotta happen, right? <3

[snowbatsims]

VAMPIRE INTERMISSION #1, part 2

MORTEN: so once upon a time, there was this little old lady who was making a nice, thick pancake for her whole family. everyone was soo excited for it, and asked soooo nicely to let them eat it. MORTEN: but the pancake, stiff in its batter, heard how much everyone was lusting for it. MORTEN: of course, the pancake did not want anyone to eat it, so it jumped off the pan and just started rolling away instead. everyone was SO UPSET, but it outran them all.

MORTEN: then, on its rolling escape, it came across a baby... let me eat you, the baby blabbed. noooo, the pancake said, and continued rolling away. MORTEN: then it came across a kitten. meow meow, it said, which is cat for "i eat pancake". the pancake did not like that, and continued rolling...

MORTEN: and then... it encountered a goose. honk honk, i will eat you, the goose said. and the pancake was like, absolutely not!! i've outrun a whole family, and baby-waby, and kitty-mitty, surely i can outrun you too, goosey-woosey. MORTEN: and then it kept on rolling.

RUNE: what's up MORT: oh not much, just reading this little fairytale about a sentient pancake to the kid. you know how it is. RUNE: ah. yeah, that sounds familiar. KANAYA: moh,

MORTEN: more? MORTEN: alright so get this- the pancake kept on rolling. and it rolled, and rolled, until it encountered a... bunny! the bunny started sniffling after it, like it definitely wanted to eat the pancake too. but the pancake was like, now now, not so fast, i've outrun a whole family, baby-waby, kitty-mitty, goosey-woosey, surely i can outrun you too, funny-bunny. MORTEN: and so it kept on rolling! could you imagine?? the absolute audacity of that pancake. it's a pancake! RUNE: imagine if you also had that attitude about drinking from humans. MORT: oh, shush you. unlike humans, pancakes were actually made to be eaten, while humans are people... and you're drinking a plasmafruit right now anyway. MORT: honestly i'm not sure if i would have really eaten a pancake if i knew it could talk!!! KANAYA: bahaha

MORTEN: so, anyway... KANAYA: ehehe RUNE: the pancake kept rolling? MORTEN: it sure did. it rolled and rolled, until it encountered a piggy. MORTEN: and the pancake was like, absolutely not, and- wait a minute... MORTEN: the piggy said, man, i'm not gonna eat you. i get it. they want to eat me too. let's travel together, it said. the pancake thought for a bit and decided the pig was trustworthy, and so they did. RUNE: oh a plot twist? well now i never...

MORTEN: well, at some point they made it to a river. the pancake was like, i can't roll across this, it's too wet. and the pig was like, you can sit on top of me, i can swim and carry us across. RUNE: ...i just remembered how this ended. MORTEN: they got into deeper water, and the pancake was getting very concerned. the pig was like, my face is still above water, roll over here! MORTEN: and so the pancake did... MORTEN: and with a quick chomp, the pancake was no more. MORTEN: the end. RUNE: man, what the hell even was this fairytale. MORTEN: the pancake? idk, i just picked a random book from the case.

KANAYA: mo, MORTEN: you want more? still not sleepy? alright,

Meanwhile, Carmilla, the older kid, already went to sleep.

CONTINUE ->