#idk i probably need to be medicated or something because bro..

[leviabeat]

I want to scream into the void. Everything's just so heavy right now.

[mutalune]

really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state

[mio-actuallywrites]

Dorm leaders reacting to their s/o having extremely bad phantom pains and trying to hide it from them?

Dorm leaders reacting to you having very bad phantom pain and you trying to hide it. 

Hopefully headcannons are good for you anon!

Phantom Pain= if you get amputated you may feel pain from the part of the body you got amputated. 

(Tell me if I’m wrong please, I did some research but not alot)

Sorry if this is horrible hopefully I didn’t let you down anon! And if you do go through phantom pain please feel better!

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

Riddle could sense something was wrong, but couldn’t figure out what. He noticed you were avoiding him, but once he did see you he noticed you flinching sometimes. 

When he could get caught up with you he had finally asked what was wrong when you finally told him what you were experiencing. 

He probably knew a little bit by his parents (forcing) teaching him about medical stuff. 

He probably would just be their to comfort you, and get you some medicine. 

Depending how long you would get it, he would give you the work you missed if you left class during the pain. 

And he was a little hurt you didnt tell him about it but it’s fine he there now. 

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

Leona probably was sleeping when you first experienced it, but once he’s awake, boy is very observant. 

He probably wanted to nap with you but couldn’t find you, so he actually went up and tried looking for you. 

Once he did find you, his lion or animal reflexes ig just also sensed something was wrong, when he did ask though you just shrugged it off. 

However once he did figure it out, sorry Leona lovers but I feel like he would kinda shrug it off, and probably wouldn’t know what to do . 

I mean there’s nothing you can really do, so I guess he just sleeps (or sits) next to you and hope you feel better? 

( gives you his card if you wanted to buy anything to relieve you pain.)

Like Riddle his pride was hurt because you didn’t want to tell him. 

AZUL ASHENGROTTO

Azul was curious where you were, usually after classes you would come find him, yet you weren’t there, he think he hasn’t even saw you most of the day so now he’s really curious where you were. 

Once he does find you however he might’ve not noticed right away, but he does eventually. 

And once he asked what’s wrong you probably just brushed it off. 

However once he does find out, poor boy probably doesn’t even know what phantom pain even is so he probably has to research it or you tell him about it. 

Once he does find out however, he probably would do anything to make you feel comfortable, cook you food lend you a place at the Mostro. (You probably would find yourself in a contract with him about it after ngl.)

Wait there’s medicine that can help it? Count him in for the business side. 

He probably didnt act like he cared that you didn’t tell him, but in the inside he would be sad. 

KALIM AL ASIM

Let’s be honest, Kalim probably would not notice. 

You could probably easyily hide it from him, but let’s just say you told him when the pain got to much. 

Like Azul, he probably needed to get an explanation on what it was, but once he does find out he’ll probably spoiler you. 

You want that? He would get it for you, anything that makes you feel better!!

I feel like he would cry idk tho. 

He probably wouldn’t care you were hiding it from him ngl. 

VIL SCHOENHEIT

(I spent a whole while thinking what he would do so this is probably short)

Vil probably thought something was wrong so he sent out Rook to find out lmao. 

After Rook came back and found out Vil immediately went to find you. And before you could even come up with an excuse he already knew what to do. 

He would do skincare with you. 

(Sorry if this was super short!)

IDIA SHROUD

Since Idia games often he is very observant - when he’s not playing games. 

However if your both hanging out in his room, he will notice… eventually. 

And if Ortho was with you… then hiding the pain would be useless. Bro would literally just blurt out something like: are you feeling phantom pain rn prefect?

Bro would probably freak out but since Ortho was right there he would be able to find out what to do through him. 

He trying his best! So he might not be the best person when the phantom pain happens but he’s not the worst. 

MALLEUS DRACONIA 

I feel like this is a 50/50, Malleus knows what it is or doesn’t even know it. 

Where ever you meet, he can tell something’s wrong with his dragon or fae senses. So there’s like no point of hiding it. 

Like I said it’s a 50/50 so he might be the best at helping you or just doesn’t know until you explain to him. 

Probably would NOT leave your side until you assure him the pain went away!

And if Sebeks yelling is bothering you he’d probably tell him to shut up. (But in a very polite way.)

[livingslime]

Just finished playing the game and DAMN do I like it :3 (this is gonna be a long message hope that's okay, and discussing spoilers if that matters lol)

First, I, as a queer he/they, always appreciate a gender-neutral MC, so thank you. Also, love the design of the Doc, he's really cute, and I like how his eyes are both super big and adorable, but also really creepy when need be, good art

Second, during the first night, those eyes appearing in the door?Genuinely really scary. Like, I was expecting some level of creepiness from a game like this, but that was just terrifying. Anyway, my theory is that those eyes were the Anselm because this guy would probably freak tf out at the idea of someone else watching the MC. Bro would be possessive af (at least I sure hope he is)

Third, the endings. I liked them, yes I would love an ending with a seemingly happy life with Anselm, even if it technically isn't a good ending. I just have a soft spot for doctors. For the bad one, I don't know how dark you are going to go with the story, but my theory is that he did something to the MC's body, like their legs or something, to make them weaker so they can't escape, which is why he was so aggressive about the MC not being able to go on a walk. I mean... my body is pretty weak, but unless the MC is made of paper, they wouldn't just start bleeding out from standing up unless something was up? I'm onto you...

ANYWAYS! Excellent start! However, my one issue is the "illusion of choice" if that makes sense? Like, the little options the player is given over dialogue options don't have that much impact in the end? The only one that seemed to make a difference was choosing to accept or reject the medication. I think it would make the game a lot more dynamic and make the player feel like they have more impact in the story if the dialogue options had more branching paths. Like, if in the final product, depending on how you talk to Anselm, it affects how he treats the player or how far he is willing to try and go to keep you? I just feel like currently, the player lacks a bit of agency, but that's my only "complaint", and something that could definitely be explored in the final version! Hopefully, I'm not coming across as too mean.

I hope this game gets its final version, as I need more content with the doctor immediately! I love him!

-🐈‍⬛ (idk if you do anon tags and if you do hopefully this one isn't taken lol)

Hi hi! (°◡°♡) I'm overjoyed to hear that you enjoyed my demo! ♡

Note - I will try to be as spoiler free of the story so I cannot deny or confirm any theories ><

Hehe I'm really relieved I was able you freak you out! And yes, Anselm is certainly very possessive about you. Canonly, the MC is he first ever love, I would like to expand on this in the later chapters of the visual novel's full release!

For the neutral ending of the demo, its a continuation of the storyline! So in terms of story, there is still more to come. And of course, there will be endings for the MC and Anselm where they will be "together" (づ ◕‿◕ )づ

That's a very interesting theory! But I guess we'll just have to wait and see~ muahaha!

Yes! I actually do completely agree with you on that. This is something I wanted to touch on my next devlog.

I do plan on adding more content for day1-day3 of the demo, branching dialog, probably 2 more bad endings, CGs , Etc , before I start writing the later chapters, I do have a general idea for the story but I still need to finalize everything. I plan to have this update maybe beginning 2025 hopefully!

No no don't worry you are not coming across as mean at all I promise you ♡(◕ᗜ◕✿).

Personal note - I actually created Anselm when I was in a bad space. So every time I read how much love he gets, sometimes I feel like I might tear up... like I'm so touched (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ ♡♡

I do hope I can bring the passion project fully to life! and thank you for loving him ♡

[followerofmercy]

Fanfic 20 questions! I was gonna say 'fuck it I love talking about myself even if nobody tagged me' and then realized @hua-fei-hua already did like. Two weeks ago. Whoops aldsjf I don't check my mentions. ANYWAY THANKS HOMIE

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

Currently 119. Should be 120 in a week or two

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

361,556 published. We can add another 60k that is written but unpublished for Monoceros Novae, 9k miscellaneous Hearthling notes, 24k unpublished honkai notes and another 50k in my general notes document.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Actively rn, only Genshin and Honkai. I'll write for other stuff when I feel like it.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Missing Person - Hollow Knight, genfic, little ghost and Quirrel - 1500 kudos (this is why small fandoms are the best alsdfj)

I Need to Leave Him Before He Leaves Me - Genshin, Alhaitham/Kaveh - 987 kudos (helped a lot of people think about their autism with this one lmao)

Homeward Bound - Hollow Knight, genfic, little ghost and Quirrel - 757 kudos (Idk why this one blew up. Wasn't that great but I appreciate the attention. Probably people sorting by kudos)

How 4.1 Should've Gone - Genshin, Aether/Lyney kicking Wriothesley's ass - 656 kudos (First and only time rewriting canon. Surprised at how well received it was)

Abusing the World Tree - Genshin, Lumine/Scaramouche - 643 kudos (Yk I used to really hate this fic and I still do, but not as much as I used to. I still think the entire premise is Horror instead of cute, but I think I did good with the prompt. )

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always. I literally only write fanfic in order to connect with people alsdfj why the fuck wouldn't I take an opportunity to yap. I judge my success as a writer by how I make my readers feel/helping them realize something about themselves/etc and the communication is really fulfilling

I mean sometimes I don't reply if it's literally just like, a heart emoji, which I still appreciate but I don't have a lot to go off of there

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably the one where Steven Universe walks off a cliff on accident while he's sad and can't control his fall speed anymore and dies. I was much younger when I wrote it asldfkj.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That I'm proud of? No clue. Probably another Steven Universe one where Steven and Connie went to prom.

I will say that A Bard Walks in and Hugs the Bartender is my favorite 'happy' ending fic because of a comment I got on it. It's a story about forgetting details about deceased loved ones and the guilt that comes with that and then comfort that that's a natural part of the process, and someone let me know that they felt so seen. They said the forgetting is a part of grieving that doesn't get addressed enough and it was so nice to see it in writing and I'm like. Pack it up boys we've officially won writing! My writing has fundamentally changed a real life person. I have achieved what I consider success.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Very rarely and usually unintentionally. Had a dude call Arlecchino a 'psychotic bitch' in a comment where they were genuinely trying to praise my writing, but on a fic intended to show her doing her best and I'm like. I don't really have the energy to debate why that was rude and I'm blocking you. Bro if you see this tumblr post and you didn't intend to, like, shit on the entire premise and everything I love about that character, hmu in DMs and we can talk asldfkj. Otherwise please find other authors to read

Otherwise I think I'm secure enough in my interests and unabashedly unashamed of anything Problematique I write that bullies decide to choose better targets?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes and I've given up writing normal sex. I'm not good at it. I have a weird kind of medical kink where I think the word penis is sexier than cock and, yk, most people would disagree. I'm both better at writing gore and horror that achieves the same kind of intimacy with a slight sexual bend, and I get more fulfillment out of it. Anatomy of a Blade remains one of my proudest works.

Also I prefer writing it as a character study. I love finding jackoff material but I can't write it for shit. Pour one out for the authors doing what I can't asldkjf

10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written?

Nah. The setting is usually so important to my interpretation of a character that I just Can't put them somewhere else. Same with AUs. I'd rather write an original story at that point. I will fantasize about it occasionally tho.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yesn't? I've had a few lines ripped, especially for rarepairs, but I had such an unfortunate thing happen recently asdlkjf. This new author so excitedly asked me if they could use one of my fics for inspiration and I'm like "omg of course!!! I'm so flattered!" because I was! and then when they finished writing it and told me about it I was so excited to read it!!!

and then I did

I'm sitting here like "...Who's gonna tell them that this is actually plagiarism without embarrassing them and completely crushing their motivation to write ever again" asldfkjasdf;l

like OBVIOUSLY they were not trying to steal, because why the fuck would they announce it to me. But also I don't want them to be served a cease and desist later down the line so we had to have a little talk and it's all good now. I'm really excited to see what they write next!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Supposedly! I've had several people ask me if they could and then just. Never followed up aldk;fskj. It's a shame because I'm absolutely fascinated by linguistics and would love to pick their brains about what translation choices they made and why.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Sorta? Ray did one chapter as an epilogue to one of mine, and I think I've worked with Sen a few times on shorter pieces. Otherwise I'm a bit of a selfish writer and a control freak adsljf

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Constantly changing. I'm currently on a Bootheng and Zhongxiao kick, tho once I watch more of Madoka Magica I'm probably gonna lose my mind over Homura/Madoka. Also Adora/Catra as I watch more Shera.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Literally too many to list. See question 1 and the 50k words worth of notes

I have so many ideas that I really need to pick and choose what I work on because there literally just isn't enough time in the world - unless I start doing cocaine or something, but even then I think I'd still have the same problem. Join my discord server if you're an adult and wanna hear me whine about it asdlfkj

16. What are your writing strengths?

Fitting body language and other scene description with dialogue. I don't see images in my head and I think in motion a lot, so I think I do a really good job of keeping a scene rolling while people are talking without having to bring everything to a screeching halt to describe, idk, the color of the carpet on the stairs.

Also emotional damage

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably longer works? I lose drive to work on anything over 6k words pretty easily and I also struggle with pacing. I'm insisting on finishing Monoceros Novae so it can be my first novel because everyone's first novel sucks ass. I'm getting it out of the way so my original works will hopefully go better asldkfj

Oh. Also what people look like. Fuck you you get a pronoun and maybe a hair color. If Martha Wells can do it with Murderbot, so can I lmao.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Just for the love of God don't put it in italics unless you're making a point that the person using the other language doesn't use it naturally. I'd like to highlight the poem Kupu Rere Ke by Alice Te Punga Somerville for my feelings on it alsdkjf.

Also gonna copy stardustdiving's answer and say that it's great for multilingual characters and places it makes sense, but I personally think it's a little annoying when it's just a shippy pet name to be cute without, like, some kind of basis for it. Notably Childe calling Zhongli Xiansheng. It's fine if he would say that BUT HE WOULDN'T. He'd call him Mr., Sir or Motherfucker Ratbastard Whyaren'tyoudeadyet

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Undertale! Surprised at how well a lot of the fics have held up over the years.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Changes a lot as I develop as a writer. I'm really proud of Frustrations of the Hunt and this is the vibe I want my original writing to have.

I'm also really proud of my one and only FMAB fic about Alphonse getting pants. It's more serious than it sounds.

I actually have a collection of my works that I'm really proud of too!

Let's tag @resplendent-chungus. Do it bitch /affectionate

[caliburn-the-sword]

more cress thoughts and reactions (if i wasn't lazy i would start numbering these)

WHAT is with this lunar guard and WHY would he randomly choose to help these guys. since he's a Named Character (but i already forgot) i'm demanding a pov chapter immediately. probably won't get one until we trust him tho rip

NO WAY SCARLET CAN'T DIE OMG - oh thank goodness she's been taken hostage. that's better because it means she has a chance

what is it with cinder and her tendency to pick up strays?? first thorne now the blondie

cinder got that medical rizz (got blondie to take his shirt to staunch blood)

wait how does blondie know that cinder is the lost princess?? did i miss something??? maybe it was something cress mentioned

"Thorne thought maybe it was best for her to practice (cutting bonds) on herself anyway" DAMN BRO COLD

i wonder if the programming making the sat invisible still applies now that it's crashed. if not we're about to have a big problem on our hands

"somehow she’d never worked the sensation of prickly facial hair into her fantasies. She would amend that after this." MISS GIRL WHAT???? that said i find the diction of 'amend that' there's just something so detached about it lmao

OMG THORNE LOST HIS VISION YES THIS IS MAKING ME NUTS

no i agree cress WHY would you give a newly blind man a knife

her hair is getting cut off <3 "It felt as though twenty pounds had been cut from her head" probably because it HAS girly. haircuts are literally magical. feel sad?? get a haircut

"It's not your fault" damn thorne i really appreciate how conscious he is of cinder's and now cress' self blaming problem even though he doesn't act like he's all compassionate. softie

grossed out by thorne kissing a 16 year old even if it was just her hand (someone play sixteen by ayesha erotica)

omg i thought the kids were talking about PRIZE MONEY for a BOUNTY and that we were about to see someone properly threatening appear, not just gummy worms fkshfsdkh. LOVE erland for indulging the children. he seems like a fun uncle type figure to have. i wonder how much those kids make him grieve for his daughter. OMG CINDER MENTION IT I NEED ERLAND'S REACTION

omg cress' descriptions of earth make me feel like i've been taking it for granted <3 i love her to death and i wish her all the happiness in the world

i LOVE thorne's no nonsense attitude, especially when it conflicts with cress' fantasies. yeah!! shake her!! wilderness survival king

tf??? i've never heard of a green sunset????? i'm assuming that this is a rural thing or i'm just gonna pin it down to random radioactive scifi reasons

thorne you know what OTHER than constellations would rule out australia?? THE SAND WOULD BE FUCKING RED. i would know because i did a 6 week cross country road trip across the desert from east to west and back again. i get that he's blind but surely cress would have noticed and thought to mention it (catch me looking for the southern cross constellation whenever i go to the northern hemisphere since it's the only one i can consistently recognise)

whenever cinder gets glamoured she always snaps out of it immediately. even kai, the few times it's happened to him. it's honestly VERY disturbing to read it from scarlet's perspective where she's completely unable to (also now i'm finding kai sus. does he have the implant against his knowledge?? he got out of it with pain but wolf literally got SHOT and stayed glamoured)

LANDED IN AFRICA OMG THEY'RE GONNA REUNITE WITH CINDER. I BET ERLAND HAS ALREADY HEARD NEWS ABOUT THE DROPPED SAT

cress' backstory is intriguing, ESPECIALLY because idk how she's alive. does experimenting really make her THAT worth keeping before her hacking skills came to light?? why does sybil want to keep shells alive in the first place?? she seems very down with eugenics

holding onto neurodivergent coded cress and defending her with my life. of course some traits overlap with her trauma and being isolated for so long

only just remembered this but i guess now my theory of cress not being fully lunar doesn't hold up now that i know her parents. but with what she's saying about her backstory, makes sense why she doesn't identify with lunars that much

maybe it was thorne that i decided was bi??? just by seeing this line about blackmailing a hot pilot if he were in her position??? now that i think about it he had a similar line about kai or something. anyway with thorne saying he would have blackmailed someone i reckon he's just putting on a facade so no one sees him as a softie. but it's still funny to just make characters queer. it's a coping mechanism

OMG NOW THAT THE SATELLITE HAS CRASHED THE LUNARS ARE EXPOSED. I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THAT. but the spyware should ALSO be down unless specific feeds went directly to the palace

this read has been such a treat for me!! i mentioned this on a reblog of one of my first cress post, but for those of you who haven't seen it when i was like. 5. my library had this picture book of the biblically accurate grimms brothers rapunzel. BEAUTIFUL illustrations. i was a silly goofy little kid obsessed with morbidity and i LOVED the gory illustrations of the prince's eyes getting stabbed out by thorns and him wandering around the forest all bloody and blind. i tried to find it online but couldn't!! the closest thing to it was rapunzel by sarah gibb which isn't gloriously violent anyway. i want to see if i can hunt it down irl and let you guys know which one it is but i used to frequent three different local libraries + the school library of my primary school was basically my own playground so i can't remember where i used to read it ;-; but yeah all this is to say i'm obsessed with cress as a retelling of rapunzel by far as someone who has a long history and grew up with it <3

@eddisfargo @francforever @winterrhayle @winterpinetrees

[captainsparklefingers]

I'm thinking of reasons for why Seward would contact Van Helsing in the 'lucy goes with Mina and gets a temporary reprieve from Drac' au that's looking more and more likely to be a thing I'll try to end up writing.

Obviously, in the main story, it's love for Lucy and a friendship with Arthur that acts as the main motivation. Remove Lucy from the picture, what would concern or intrigue Seward enough to reach out to his old colleague?

I'm thinking of a twofold approach. The first one is Renfield, and his behavior in the wake of Dracula's arrival becoming more erratic (continued attempts at nighttime escapes being the big one), and the second one is still connected to Lucy: her mother.

Now, I'm not thinking that Dracula would target Mrs. Westenra, she's not his type (or maybe the blood of a woman dying slowly from heart failure isn't appetizing, idk). But Lucy, writing to Arthur after a last minute decision to join Mina, would likely tell him to look after her mother and keep her company. We know the Westenra household has maids, it comes up later when SPOILERS. Some of them may be in the same age group as Lucy.

With his target of choice gone, Dracula would be forced to explore other options. Perhaps he starts close to where he originally wanted to hunt, and several of the Westenra maids start to fall ill with strange symptoms that could be caused by who knows what. Dracula could and probably would likely spread out from there, perhaps not targeting any one person in an attempt to turn them but treating the town like an open buffet.

Arthur, doing as Lucy asked, visiting her mother, could hear of the maids falling in. Perhaps he'd see one looking pale and almost bloodless and tired in a way that doesn't look like overworking. Perhaps he'd write to his friend Seward and express concern that this could spread to Lucy's mother, and if he has time would he consider coming out for a check up with some of these ladies? Just so that he doesn't have to tell Lucy her mother was surrounded by sick people, so that he's doing as she asked and making sure her mother is doing well (and maybe in the face of what's happening to her father, this actually feels like something he can do something about).

And if Jack does, out of friendship for Arthur and a love for Lucy that would drive him to do something small or odd like this to ensure her continued happiness, he would have results similar to what he got examining Lucy. Nothing that would indicate any sort of physical illness but something clearly isn't right. And then maybe he'd hear other women were having similar symptoms. Maybe there's a pattern to which women are falling sick. Hell, maybe there's other weirdness in town that could be considered a coincidence but who knows! And now, there's medical curiosity as a motive to write his colleague who specializes in unusual diseases. Who would say yes both for love of his friend and because of professional interests.

It's obviously not as personal a motive but I think it could still work? It may need some tweaking though. Until I figure out the best way to make the ripple effects of Lucy leaving work for the rest of the story, it's all outlining and figuring out bits for now.

(and yes, Quincy still remembers what happened to his horse and brings that up, because it's relevant and he wanted to spend time with his bros.)

(....even without having the full long term plot I still want to write Lucy's letter to her mother and her first travel journal entry anyway.)

[torse]

AU / headcanon scenes - "Military" excerpts

warning: there's some violence and Pathologic-tier dark themes but nothing super bad. I can't write for shit so it's not super descriptive anyway

—

⦁ Notkin and Grief lived in a town with an insane crime rate, huge wealth inequality, and unheard of levels of corruption in the government. ⦁ Notkin's mother died in childbirth ⦁ Notkin's father developed a chronic illness something-or-other (consumption? idk not important, sorry pop), became an alcoholic in despair ⦁ Notkin befriended Grief at a very young age (6?), and would get "medicine" for father every once in awhile (watered down booze) to help him ween off alcohol (once Grief figured out what was goin on ⦁ eventually dad figured it was best to join military and die out of sight rather than in front of his child so.. yeah that happened ⦁ Notkin waited around for him to return but once he got the letter, he disappeared, Grief finding him a bit later and taking him under his wing

—

⦁ they were COOL STREET CATS together ⦁ Notkin still loved animals, even said Grief was like a bird Grief: Like what, a crow? I do like the shinies.. eheh Notkin: No.. a vulture! Grief: Hah! Why, because I'm big, mean and ugly? Notkin: No.. because you keep things clean, only take what won't be missed, and.. are very important to the other animals. ⦁ Notkin still had his gang of kids and animals in a warehouse, but he interacted with grief much more than in game

—

⦁ Several years passed, eventually things got so out of control (despite Grief's efforts, he even succeeded to keep crime down in his territory), an inquisitor was sent to deal with the problem **At the time Notkin did not know this or even what it meant, but Grief had heard rumors ⦁ the military started smoking out the slums, ALL squatters / slum class were to be "forcefully evicted" ⦁ Grief made plans with his crew, made plans with Notkin to get his kids out, then they were to meet separately (from their gangs) on the "road by the docks" at dawn 2 days from now [intentionally vague ending]

—

⦁ in military service, Notkin started at 14, Sticky was probably 16? ⦁ Sticky was a field medic, Notkin worked his way up a bit and led a small unit thingy (idk military stuff), they ended up being best buds ⦁ Notkin's face scar (17 years?): an enemy had gotten into melee range, knocked Notkin to the ground, and had his knife to Notkin's eye.. but thankfully the baddie ended up losing the arm wrestlin match and Notkin pushed the knife away so that it grazed his cheek/nose instead ⦁ Notkin's leg (19 years?): Notkin's unit, as well as several others, were leaving a cleared area, Sticky was nearby behind him ⦁ Notkin started getting a Bad Feeling and yelled for everyone to HOLD UP. They hesitated and were confused? He wasn't really sure but... ⦁ He heard a whistling and started to yell for everyone to "spread out" but a mortar hit very close to him. more started showering the area ⦁ He got up and immediately tried to help other people, ears ringing, Sticky was yelling at him to stop, but Notkin could barely hear him over the adrenaline and everything else- Sticky was next to him now, screaming, Notkin tried to tell him to piss off, but he looked at Sticky's horror-stricken face - Sticky: BRO. BRO, STOP. NOTKIN, PLEASE Notkin: WHAT Sticky: YOUR FUCKIN LEG Notkin, looking down, sees a minced meat patty with some bone splinters: ....AH. ⦁ Then he goes for a nice "nap" (passes the fuck out) and wakes up in the med tent minus a leg and is insufferable for the next few weeks bored out of his mind. ⦁ Sticky is impossibly patient and gives in way too easily to Notkin's requests. ⦁ Sticky and Notkin (and the whole unit) got discharged after that, Notkin went with Sticky to his home city since he didn't have anywhere else

—

⦁ They're like,20 now? ionno the ages are a vague range I need to rewrite this part so I'll give an even shittier than normal summary: Sticky's in a home owned by Artemy, but wants to go intern with him soon after he recovers from his own injuries. but Notkin won't be able to work / afford food without him. Sticky starts poking around town to see how much a prosthetic might cost (he has crutches now, and can definitely do SOME work, but no education, still healing injuries, and people are dicks and won't give him a chance ) Long story short they end up at a watch shop. With Grief at the counter. And he doesn't seem to remember Notkin well. And Notkin's brain 404s. Grief can't make actual prosthetics, he only has tools for small devices, but he knows a guy that can probably make something. Grief asks what kind of prosthetic, Sticky gestures to Notkin and says his leg. Notkin finally speaks up and is desperately trying to figure out why Grief left him, why doesn't he remember him now, and says that he was forced to join the military- even though he hated the soldiers for taking his home and the military for taking his dad. the city had locked everything down to the point where Notkin could no longer scavenge for food. He was literally starving to death and chose to sacrifice his pride to stay alive. He had to do a bit of begging to get the recruiter to accept a starving 14 year old but in the end he got food and shelter. and lost a leg :( While Notkin was having A Time, Grief had been nabbed by the inquistors. I've run out of creativity for this part so "they fucked his brain up real good". He tends to talk like he's repeating things he might say, rather than having genuine emotions

—

Grief ends up remembering Notkin enough that he offers a room so that Sticky can go intern and Notkin can recover (he has to heal up more and do some leg exercises and shit before he can use the prosthetic) Unfortunately they have to re-bond, and Notkin had a bad habit of shoving all the bad feelings down so eventually he crumbles with depression and post-war awfulness. Grief has NO idea how to deal with this. some funny shenanigans happen too though, its definitely not all bad. and Grief starts showing more and more genuine emotion around Notkin. Healing all around ~

[tfp-enthusiast]

hello! first time requesting a matchup, hope i did this alright. either faction is fine.

i’m short, in my early 20s, (ftm) trans, autistic, have a bad case of baby face and i dress comfortably (sweatpants/tshirts/light jackets or flannels to make up for the discomfort of my binder). i haven’t medically transitioned yet (sadly) but i plan to when i can afford it. i have shoulder length dyed hair, one side is white and the other black. i’m usually at home (because of dysphoria/anxiety) doing self assigned chores or writing but i have a few friends that i hang out with sometimes. i’m definitely not a conversationalist, and i unintentionally give one word answers to everything. i have three geckos, all selfish little bastards i love. i cling to any rule i can, i hate to waste someone’s time by being a bother. i play a lot of video games (animal crossing, botw/totk, smash bros) and practice german (still learning) when i’m bored. i have drawing, painting and writing as hobbies. i get overwhelmed really easily in loud or busy spaces and i just get very quiet. i listen to a lot of 80s music to cope with anxiety.

i hope that this is enough to match me up with somebot special. thank you! -💫

[This is my first request for a Match-up so sorry if it's a little underwhelming or something.]

]Btw. i know no one asked but I actually speak german! It's funny to me because I learned that a lot of blogs I follow learn/are german. idk why I said it but anyways-]

Match-up: Breakdown

You would probably meet while he's on a mission or in a fight because he tends to forget that he should keep a low profile.

No matter how you meet, he would take because he wouldn't know what to do now that you saw him and the Autobots did the same- why can't he do the same? (yes, he thinks the bot's just picked their humans up)

When he brings you the ship he would try to keep you secret, the vehicons and Soundwave know about you but don't care, and he will ask you thousands of questions when alone.

He will call you cute because of the way your face looks, if you don't like it he would still do it but it just slips out of him sometimes, and then tell you that you have the coolest hair he ever saw. Like he knows that humans die their hair but he never saw two colored hair before.

He doesn't really understand that you have dysphoria and what that really is but he understands that it may be a touchy subject for you so he doesn't ask. But he looks a little into it is a little offended when he finds out jow much money you need so that you can be comfortable in your body, like, wtf, why do humans do that??? for cybertronians a procedure like changing your gender isn't really that much of a big thing but then again there isn't much to change on cybertronians.

Tries to hug you but if you don't like that he will focus on telling you how he thinks that you are beautiful and nothing could change the way he thinks about you etc.

If you don't like physical contact he can also switch to verbal affection, he's not picky about it.

He also get's a little frustrated about your one word answers and likes to tease you about it. He will do that no matter if in a relationship or not but when you are in a relationship he will say that he needs a hug and/or a kiss as a make up for you not talking to him much.

He also likes the way you dress because you look relaxed to him that way and he somehow would think that people that wear more thighter clothes are stressed or serious, you know what I mean? (cause I don't tbh)

When he learns he can't just keep you and let's you go to your home, you get around 6 hours for yourself bc he can get clingy once he likes someone, he will probably complain a little that you don't leave your home unless he's there but if you explain him why he doesn't anymore. (he can relate a bit but also thinks he shouldn't talk about such topics)

Introduce him to video games he will lose his shit. He quickly learns to love Nintendo games, almost everything they ever dropped, and wants to play at least 3 hours a day with you.

He thinks your geckos are cute but he doesn't really care aoubt them that much, he still loves to watch you care about them and laughs with you when they do something silly or don't move even though you lay their food right in front of them. (fun fact: I had 2 geckos and they where just so lazy that they never moved and sometimes they waited for a grasshopper to jump in front of them so they wouldn't have to move XD)

He is really confused when he sees/hears you practice german. He knows that there are many different languages on earth but he's surprised that they sound so wierd. He would after some time probably ask you if you can teach him what you know about it because he finds different languages so fascinating.

He thinks the music you listen to is a little wierd but he finds comfort in it and finds himself listening to it even though he is alone.

[diaryfullofsparklesandkisses]

Bro fuck rich ppl fr. Like yes I’m jealous and yes my life sucks (but it’s not as bad as some ppl in the world I UNDERSTAND) but if I’m allowed to have some room to vent like no I’m extremely uncomfortable if im honest and something is most likely wrong with me mentally. Will I ever have the tools to unpack that, idfk. Idk how much psychiatrist shit would cost, even tho im on insurance like lmao no they’re going to charge me for that shit and it’s probably something I’d have to go back for and spend more money on. Same thing w medical which is a total gamble in terms of life. But imagine being able to go to the doctor and like preventatively or just to see what someone thinks about something. Bro I don’t even know how to get to the doctor. If I can’t walk there im not going to appear there. Imagine being able to buy a basic ass house in a somewhat peaceful neighborhood. Ifuckingmagine ???????? If I just don’t spend any of my money I get from working besides on rent/food and the absolute bare essentials, I’ll get there one day. But I could die before then because of not wanting to spend money on an ambulance or staying in a hospital. So far I ignore pain health issues and they fix themself. That is so dangerous and I know it. But like I am full bore saving for when I can’t work. I don’t want to even fucking work man like this shit hurts. And I have so many things I’d rather be doing. Pay artists idk. Just like yeah I’m jealous that shit sounds nice. But honestly fuck money I hate it so much. Fuck rich people and their money ew cringe. I get it we need it but ew man it’s so gross. How do they not have survivors guilt or feel any guilt or idk maybe they do and ignore it??? I just want the bare minimum and maybe be able to work how I want, and that is too much to ask honestly. Ideally it wouldn’t be but like not it is. Something is definitely wrong w me too like I can’t find my way out and in my head it’s bad with this shit. I feel like not very not adult about these topics cuz shit didn’t just work for perfectly for me even tho I had a good start. Like it’s because there’s something wrong w me and me being independent does not lead to a good outcome but I have no other choice. This is my life, I know what I want to do but the things I make aren’t that good or I don’t get lucky etc so I can’t do that under capitalism, so I just have to suffer daily. It’s my fault I don’t like money or I’m not some fabulous creative person. Like it’s my fault and I’m being actively punished for it all the time and I’ll probably die earlier because of it. And this is probably so many ppls realities. But usually not rich ppl, so fuck em idk.

[giantkillerjack]

Yeah bro sounds like you're autistic as fuck!

Please have this alpaca #Squad gif that I send to every person I encounter who is figuring out they are autistic! One of my friends sent it to me when I figured it out for myself, and it meant a lot to me.

So before I say anything else, I want to affirm that self-diagnosis is absolutely just as valid as an official medical diagnosis from a doctor, and anyone who tells you otherwise is being extremely ignorant of the state of mental health care in many parts of the world. - In America, the majority of autism care involves abusing autistic children (ABA therapy, etc), or otherwise trying to "cure" autism (which is not possible and only causes harm). And that's before we get into how hard it is to access and afford doctors in the first place, especially for Black Americans and members of other already-marginalized groups seeking healthcare professionals that won't traumatize them.

I think it was very smart of you to make this post, because I truly believe that a group of autistic people is more likely to give you an accurate diagnosis than a group of allistic doctors.

And in my experience, every time I've heard someone be as close to being sure they are autistic as you seem to be, they have turned out to be autistic.

So let me validate for you that if you think you are autistic, then you are probably autistic. And if you say you are, then I will take you at your word, and thus I welcome you with open arms to this community and this label/identity!

And just fyi, if you genuinely think you are autistic, and then you find out later that you were wrong, well guess what! You've hurt no one in your honest search for help and understanding! I'd much rather you have access to support and community than you NOT have those things for fear of, idk, receiving much-needed support and advice under a label that later turns out not to suit you. Impostor syndrome about being autistic seems to be a step for almost everyone who is diagnosed outside of childhood. I feel you belong here. And if you feel that too with all the evidence you just listed, that is more than enough and also you are ultimately the expert on your own experience.

Everything you said sounds like the definition of autism, and so I have good news and I have bad news:

Bad news first: as a culture, we do not know what autism looks like without trauma. This is one reason why sometimes it can be hard to diagnose - so many of the symptoms we associate with autism are actually just symptoms of complex post-traumatic stress disorder. Growing up autistic without the support you need in a society that is not meant for you is traumatic, and so basically all of us have complex PTSD. Which is like regular PTSD, but... worse and harder to treat, since it is not the result of a single traumatic experience but rather it is caused by repeated sustained trauma that takes place over the course of months or years.

If you can find a therapist with autism, I highly, highly recommend it. But since that is a pretty tall order, be sure to at least avoid medical professionals that support the hate group Autism Speaks, and run away from anyone who supports ABA therapy for children. Because you almost certainly have cptsd, and you don't deserve the pain and self-hatred that comes with untreated or poorly-treated trauma. But please at least know that the really negative thoughts you have about yourself are not a function of logic and fact, but rather an involuntary function of psychological damage, and that is not your fault, and it CAN get better.

Another good thing to know is that autistics and other people who have spent a lot of their lives with their guard constantly up often develop fibromyalgia or other types of chronic pain. This is something that a lot of doctors don't seem to know, and something you should keep in mind. This is also another reason why it is so important try and seek safe treatment for your mental illness and to, over time, try and learn to relax your body and to live openly as yourself. Doing so can reduce the likeliness that you will develop chronic pain from the stress. Unmasking after a life of being forced to mask is a skill that takes time and practice, but it is a very rewarding practice.

However, if you do develop (or already have developed) chronic pain like I did, then your life is not over and you are not alone in this. Disability can be managed and accommodated, even if it can't generally be cured, and a full, happy life is still very much possible.

(Autism is also a disability, and it is disabling in different ways for different people - either inherently or due to lack of social supports. It isn't a matter of "low-functioning" vs "high-functioning", but rather a matter of how much support someone requires to meet their needs. And it is absolutely possible to lead a wonderful life and be autistic, and I wouldn't want to be cured even if it was possible.)

And now some probably much-needed good news: Being autistic is good, actually. As in, that uncontrollable urge to react with movement and joy when a special interest comes up in conversation - the one that you described as really abnormal? That's actually normal for autistics! and it is something that allistics don't get to have. At least not in the same way. That big, bright, beautiful, all-encompassing, soul-bursting joy in an everyday event is indicative of the truth about autistics, which is that the more we are allowed to be ourselves, the more unedited, unrepressed wonder we can feel and share from our souls.

We are meant to be allowed to twitch and fidget and regulate through stimming, and since this sort of thing was cruelly stamped out of most of us from a young age, coming to understand that we are autistic and then seeking out the words and experiences of others like us allow us to start reconnecting with a version of us that doesn't feel SUPER FUCKING STRESSED ALL THE TIME. Or, rather, for many of us, to create that version of ourselves for the very first time.

So much of what I love about myself is profoundly autistic: the way I've learned how to make people feel safe, the way I can teach myself most anything if i love it enough, the way I fall in love with people with every vibrant molecule of my being, the deep sense of justice I feel, the drive to care for people and creatures that need help. My patience. My talents. When I listen to music, I see gorgeous music videos in my head! I see color and movement and emotion brought to life! What a gift!!! Without my autism, i would never have been driven to become a skilled artist or a meaningful storyteller. I wouldn't have attracted my wonderful autistic wife with whom I discuss our mutual special interests for hours and hours every day! Autism gives my life such warmth and color. Me without autism isn't me.

And now even MORE good news: Other autistics make awesome friends and romantic partners. We are all individuals, so obviously there's no guarantee. But guess who's not gonna be a dick about autistic sensory needs or not making eye contact or being asked to change their behavior to make you feel safer and more comfortable? Autistics, bay-bee!!!!

Guess what folks have the potential to intensely and enthusiastically bond together like a couple of hyperfixated magnets who unabashedly love something?? FOLKS WITH A TOUCH OF THE 'TISM, THAT'S WHO.

You have likely been made to feel unwanted, difficult to befriend perhaps - and this was cruel and unjust. So much of what people harshly and unfairly judge are just harmless idiosyncrasies or disabled needs.

Talking too loud and then someone tells you to "shut the fuck up for once"? Actually, THEY'RE the asshole here, and they are exploiting the fact that you won't be sure of social protocols to exert social power over you, and that makes them EXTREMELY FUCKING LAME. When I am shouting while I speak without realizing it, my autistic wife just says, "Jack, you're shouting," and I go "woops!" And keep talking but a little quieter.

I have found that knowing I am autistic helps me to advocate for myself because I am better able to tell when someone is being unfair to me. (It is shocking to me how many things I used to hate myself for were just... absolutely harmless instances of awkwardness or confusion. I was weird! I was kind! I am still both of those things! And it turns out only the kindness ever actually mattered!)

But also what helps is having people in my life that treat me right and respect my boundaries. People who make me feel Good about being who I am.

There are times in our lives, especially if we are not in control of our own schedules and finances, where those kind and helpful people might be difficult or even impossible to find. That is not your fault, any more than it was mine.

But it is vital to remember during those times that these people DO exist, that they are worth looking for, and that our earnest love and kind friendship is a goddamn treasure that anyone would be lucky to have. And someday, you'll meet some of the millions and millions of people who can understand this. You deserve that.

In the meantime, do anything and everything you can to reduce your stress.

So, uhhhhhhh, yeah. Welcome to the squad!!!

Okay so I need people are who are diagnosed as autistic to help me out here

I been suspecting for a long time (like around a year, maybe more idk) than I might be autistic, and I did research (genuinely, not just taking some Internet quiz and self-diagnosing based on it) and I want to know if there’s a genuine chance I might be autistic, or if I have a wrong view on autism (basically, if I’m wrong about it and what it means to be autistic).

Some things than happen to me than I’ve seen also happen to a big amount of autistic people

-Problems with food since very little. Not based on taste, but texture. Eating something with the wrong texture is just horrible.

-Always felt different from my peers, never quite fitting in because I didn’t know how to interact with them. As if they knew exactly what to do and I was just flying blind. I heard people say than they felt as if everyone was born with a book of rules, meanwhile they had to learn from watching everyone else already know them, and I think that’s the best way for me to explain it.

-Intense interests on stuff, really intense. Like, is all I can think about day and night, I relate everything to it in some way or another, I know everything about it down to the smallest detail, some might call me obsessed and I wouldn’t deny it. Reminds me of the way people with autism describe their hiperfixations.

-People thought I was “gifted” as a kid, and said than I was a kid with the mind of an adult. I’m no genius, I was just interested on different stuff than other kids. I was the first one to learn to read and I never stopped. I basically lived in the library as a kid. I have a vivid memory of when I must have been like 10 and saying than my favorite thing in the world was reading and some friends looking at me like I was crazy. I’m mentioning this not because people who are autistic are “gifted”, but more because I heard they are usually interested in different stuff than their peers (doesn’t have to be more mature, it can be more immature stuff too, I think. Goes hand in hand with feeling different from everyone). Continuing on books, I also always had a higher reading level than the rest of my class. I was “a pleasure to have in class but should speak out more” kid.

-Looking back they were obviously bullying me, but I thought than they were laughing with me, not at me.

-I can’t hear the tone of my voice?? For some reason?? Sometimes I speak too loudly or too quietly or my mom says I’m being rude for “talking back” but in my head my voice is the same level and uses the same tone. So if I’m ever rude I probably don’t notice (I hate being rude to people).

-I read about overstimulation and under stimulation and it perfectly described the way I feel a lot of time. Specially overstimulation.

-If talking about something I really enjoy (hiperfixations?) I can’t be still. I’ll probably smile and fidget with something and the mere mention of it or anything regarding it outside of online spaces makes me want to scream out of excitement. Like, a really abnormal reaction to it, I believe.

-I prefer to be home on my own than outside (specially if there’s lots of people around). I don’t know if it’s hard for me to see how people are feelings, given than I learnt to notice when people don’t want me somewhere (eventually you get used to it) but sometimes when people are being nice to me I’m completely unable to see if they’re being genuine or not. An example, I was forced to spend a week sharing a room with this pair of really popular girls because of a school trip, and they were nice to me, starting conversations and stuff. So because they seemed nice, I thought they were nice. But at the end of the week I approached them and they gave me the dirtiest look and I realize they weren’t actually being genuine, they were just kind of being forced to be nice to me.

-I hate changes of routine, everyday I have the same routine and if someone wants it to change (go somewhere and do something together) they have to tell me at least a day in advance. Unless I really like them, I will feel uneasy to change my routine because it makes me feel as if I was messing everything up.

-I don’t know if it has anything to do with this, but I’m adding it just in case. I hated physical touch as a kid. Up until some years ago, I couldn’t stand it. Also don’t know if it’s related, but I always had trouble sleeping, I heard that might be a symptom but I don’t know.

-I went to a speech therapist as a kid because I couldn’t pronounce the letter s and I pronounced it as z, sometimes it still comes out. I heard problems in speech might be related but I doubt it, just adding just in case.

-I have a big sense of justice. For example everyone in my class cheats on their exams (they don’t even hide it, ism ore, they brag about it), and that has always upset me. Not because they can copy while I actually study, but because cheating is wrong. That’s not how it works. Why are they breaking the rules. Or for example they bring their phones to school (not nearly as bad as cheating) which is forbidden, and I don’t understand why they do that. It’s forbidden, so why?

-I notice patterns in almost everything, I also focus more on the little details than the big picture, which leads to both overthinking but also better results.

-I need people to speak to me separately. Having a conversation with two people at the same time feels like a nightmare.

-I need people to tell me things, if they want me to do them. If you made something for me to eat, don’t just put it on the table, tell me it’s for me. Otherwise I won’t touch it out of fear it’s not mine. When given instructions, I need them to be clear and detailed. All people my age are doing stuff like going to parties, drinking alcohol, meanwhile I never think of doing it and also, never knew I could do it? When did the change between going to the park to hang out without our parents for the first time and going to a party with alcohol around lots of strangers happened? Why did no one told me? How do everyone just know when to change and grow up? Why don’t I?

-Something I also noticed is than every fictional character I related to had various autism symptoms (said by people on the fandoms who are actually autistic).

[lale-txt]

🍆 online dating headcanons: supernovas

[part 1 w/ Whitebeard pirates]

a/n: i have too much fun roasting your favorite little crime men, so here's part 2! and don't worry, there probably will be a sequel to that, too...

Luffy

this boy has the dating profile of a 67 year old man

it's mostly photos of cool bugs

or him holding the cool bugs, covering half of his face with them (some look a bit arty by accident because they're so blurry bc this boi is fast af when he is excited for something)

i feel like he is someone who overuses emojis A LOT and out of context too. they almost sound cryptic

🦔🧦🤼🔑👁‍🗨🟧🏴‍☠️

WHAT DOES IT MEAN BRO

you'll never know

he doesn't know either

you can keep the conversation going by mentioning that you're a foodie and like some good meat

wink wink

but don't complain if he takes you out to an all you can eat restaurant and the thing getting eaten is everything except you

Zoro

your typical fitness bro

all of his pictures are just mirror selfies from the gym wtf

granted, he knows his good angles

start the conversation maybe with a good recipe for a protein shake? idk i have not once in my life matched a fitness bro so don't take my advice maybe

if you start texting, expect a lot of thirst traps straight from the gym, lots of sweat, a shirt pulled up a bit to show off his 16-pack or whatever (if he even bothers to wear a shirt), a photo from behind to show that his back is very beefy too

but don't be fooled because he will sent them to his whole contact list and his fitness account with 500k followers

you just know he has "no PAINZ no GAINZ 💯" in his bio

so take that to your heart and text him anyway even though it's a pain in the ass, it will be rewarding in the end

if you're looking for a fuck buddy this is your mans

Law

his photos just scream dark academia. they also scream "i'm your thoughtful mystery lover with the sexy finger tattoos" and also "please heal my broken heart while we listen to Evanescence together"

but in reality he is just very tired and people mistake it for a lifestyle

Bepo takes all of his photos and edits them, he has a really good eye

one photo is the doctor posing naked in front of a chimney fire on a bear rug (it's not a regular bear rug but Bepo who is very good at photoshop)

it wasn't even Law himself who created his online dating profile but Penguin & Shachi because they agreed their captain needed a bit of support in those things, Law was just too tired to object (and maybe they were right after all...)

he's a busy man and you need a really good hook up line to make him text you back

"i think you've stolen my heart, give it back" isn't one of them

talk to him about gross medical things maybe or how much you hate bread (even if it's a lie)

just don't try sexting with him because you will get a lot of anatomical terms and a very long paragraph that sounded sexy in his head but reads like an user manual

overall a very nice match if you're into emo boys with tragic backstories that just have written "fix me if you can" all over their face

Kid

ahh yes, the little kinky man

of course you can find him on the naughty online dating sites where you can look for your next fuck buddy, pet or a sugar mommy/daddy/questionable parental figure

his photos are thirst traps of course, half of them mirror selfies with flash on

doesn't care about censoring, his junk is OUT, why hide it

will text you "wyd?" and "send nudes" within two seconds

foolish of you to think that one nude with a tiddie out would satisfy him, this little racoon is greedy af

just know that at one point he accidentally created a group chat with all of his matches, believing he would message them "i'm so hard for u" individually

he never recovered from that

Kid gets matched by mean lesbians A LOT (no wonder, he looks like one too)

it happens so often that he pulls Killer to the side, asking with a stern look on his face: "be honest. is there anything about my appearance that screams 'i want to get pegged' because apparently people feel that way about me"

Killer thinks a little bit too long and almost gets thrown overboard

Killer

the mysterious masked man

usually one would barely get matches without their face revealed, but it's probably his luscious long blonde hair and all the shirtless photos that give him countless matches anyway

who doesn't love a faceless ideal fantasy to project their deepest desires on, isn't that what dating apps were created in the first place

just never jokingly ask what's underneath the mask or else you'll get unmatched immediately

maybe ask him about his hair routine or favorite pasta place in town instead

or his favorite youtube channel Pasta Grannies

he would be the best to have long, meaningful conversations with on the dating apps

until he deletes his profile out of the blue, leaving you wondering forever 'what if...'

that is until you match him again

and again

yes again

he's a serial matcher

[parvuls]

okay but hear me out. bones/omgcp au. and yes this is a result of late-night binging of bones' first seasons BUT:

bones!jack and booth!bitty, come ON.

if jack's passion was science and not hockey he would still be the same driven, single-minded person he is, except all his focus would be on this job. he'd be kickass at being a forensic anthropologist because he'd find the whole historical cultures aspect fascinating and be really good at noticing small details and hyperfocusing on a skeleton. jack's social skills are a little rusty, though, and his main way of communicating with other people is through the language he knows: his passion. it makes other people feel like he thinks he's smarter than them.

bitty is a people person. that's like, a major part of his personality. he understands people and how they think and he connects to them easily and he's not like, religious per say, but he's definitely a lot more spiritual than jack and more open to seeing the world through less scientific eyes. he's a little all over the place, but he'd make a really good detective because he can read people really well, and because he looks nonthreatening so suspects trust him off the bat.

(he'd be terrible at getting his paperwork done on time and his desk, filled with case-related evidence, would always be a mess. it will drive jack mad.)

their work relationship would be, as in the comic and in the show, a little rocky to start with. jack gives bitty the impression that he finds him silly and somewhat dumb, and bitty gives jack the impression that he sees him more as a bones-robot than another person. but jack is the best there is, and bitty has the same determination as his canonical self to prove he deserves his position, so they stick it out. for justice. as they get to know each other they realize their first impressions were wrong - both their assessment of their partner and their assumptions of what their partner thinks of them.

there's a lot of unspoken ust there. like. a lot.

if you don't see hodgins!shitty and angela!lardo... idk what to tell you.

mad scientist shitty??? who comes from a rich, pretentious family and hates them all and doesn't want the team to know his family funds the institution they work for because he just wants to be shitty. he probably got a degree in something his parents approved of, like biochemistry or physics or something like that, and then snapped and decided to get a phd in something they definitely won't approve of, like entomology and botany. shitty loves being the slime and bugs guy, and he loves helping to find evil motherfuckers and bring them down even more.

lardo was getting her art degree when jack met her while giving a gust lecture. he watched her work on a life sized painting of a hyperrealist adult male and was so impressed with her anatomical accuracy that he struck up a conversation (this doesn't happen very often). lardo wasn't exactly getting an art degree to work on three-dimensional skeletal reconstructions but, you know, a) it's a paying job, b) she kinda finds the whole murder-solving thing morbidly cool, c) she likes jack. she thinks jack is a good dude who is going to need good bros around him. and getting to work with state of the art equipment is definitely a bonus.

ransom, holster and the frogs are still up for debate. but I kind of see ransom in cam's position, maybe - having went to medical school, ended up as a medical examiner, and now running the lab. holster has that manic fbi agent vibes on him. dex is a scientist if I ever saw one - maybe one of the squints?

[yanderetrash]

I swear ill shut up about it but

It may be that im just white knighting for Kim. I completely understand and acknowledge the possibility because otherwise it would be hypocritical

But. I feel like that one post is simply unfair, purely based on information we get in canon. Now, two things. Game is mostly what *you* make of it and one single playthru may not give you sufficient information which means you will substitute stuff based on your own personal bias

First off, based on my absolutely limited and flawed understanding of the world and with the caveat that at my best i can only half pay attention, revachol is an occupied state. Previously it was a monarchy and briefly a communist state but now its basically no national government or any other state branches but rather controlled by the coalition. In text this occupation is seen as "temporary" but also as, most likely if the status quo is not (heavily) hinted to change absolutely permanent. There are foreign military forces stationed in their airspace ready to strike at any moment should they try their whole independence thing again.

So yes ok this is a state under military occupation.

The RCM answers to the coalition such as it is because unfortunately that's the boss of this country now, they have been defeated and conquered. But like, RCM literally is the "citizen's militia" (in the name), and as Kim explains it its been set in place by the citizens (yknow) to take care (hey, let's say police) their own people. The coalition is not happy with this because the RCM is a house brand, not part of their structures. Shivers tells you that there is no need for the RCM in the rich parts of (the city? Its a city state, right?) so really they are only there to help the poor. Wouldn't the rich have better protection, coalition appointed? Bro i dont know either

The RCM does pretty much anything from cleaning up the streets of garbage to performing field autopsies, and it's underfunded and understaffed, with adherence to their ranks being voluntary. Sorta like the union appointed guys only tolerated by the occupational forces

Would also like to say that maybe as an american these very strong feelings don't translate as well but im east european so brother i feel so so so much. I understand their hope and hopelessness and probably have a more mellow, affectionate view of the whole situation. Of course that's part of my personal bias the window thru which i see the whole thing but i cant help but feel im closer to the shape because of it

Now the disaster of a main character youre playing as. I have to say first and foremost that this avengers good guys vs bad guys black and white mentality is sooooo boring and seriously detrimental to everything from worldview to personal growth. Blame whatever you want to blame for it (twitter, pop media, capitalism, idk). People don't necessarily have to fit into one of these two neat boxes labeled good guy and bad guy because by god people don't. Its not a storyteller's fault that their characters are not one or the other, bro thats good writing actually.

Hes a mentally unstable drunk who carries a heavy sadness and a strong air of failure and defeat. He's an overly sensitive little man who can barely face life one day after the other medicating this sadness with alcohol and drugs in a spiral of self destruction. And he really can't let go. The case, the love of his life. It's eating him away from the inside. Like, sometimes mental illness is not cute and its not pretty.

Bit sad that if you wouldn't wanna fuck a guy or whatever then hes tossed into the bad character pile. Wonder if he was good looking how much of this shit would have been overlooked, something to think abt.

So yea, he beat the shit out of that one guy. And he wasn't fired for it. Consider this however, the issue was ongoing for years, no one could find any solution, this wreck of a man was also drunk out of his mind, the only reason he wasn't reprimanded is because tallying things up his outburst solved the case and people (not the cops i mean the people complaining abt the drunks) were happy with the result.

But two things: i dont think that him being a cop made a difference here, harry would have done the same thing had he not been a cop but in the same mental state

And two, Kim would have never ever done this. I mean, no one else did all these years. It wasn't a strategy, it was a drunk's outburst

And three, harry felt very guilty afterwards (i know this doesnt excuse anything but does say something about him, no?), so much so he drunk himself into a mini mind wiping stupor. "Those two cases weighed heavily on you"

Lets be serious here, we've all met this person. Or could imagine this person. It makes me incredibly sad. Imagine to have to wake up being that person every day, i couldnt do it

Now onto the other guy. Completely agreed that Kim would walk around with any tolerate harrys whims if he wasnt a cop. I mean, why would he? I dont think they would even interact at all. The game wouldn't have happened. Null point.

His apprehension to interact with children is completely explained in game, and its not because hes an asshole but i think it would be better to just play the game and find out.

Besides, its not just harry hes patient and understanding with, its everyone. He plays second fiddle to your whims because you would play as Kim if that wasnt the case, but he never appears as anything but compassionate and understanding. He offers a prayer to the dead man. He treats the murderer with compassion. He agrees that letting Ruby go was the right choice and is heavily impacted by the loss of life after the tribunal. Maybe the choices made in game may affect the way he reacts (and honestly ive only done two playthrus so i dont know if hes secretly a bitch if you become fascist or something)

Sure hes a tiny little guy sometimes too rational for his own good, a cynic and a skeptic. Bit of a killjoy. But he's not an irredeemable asshole, and he's not a flawless saint either. He's a funny little weirdo and of course you want to please him since he's likeable and has an opinion on what you do (then again when games give me a little guy with opinions i always want to please them so maybe im not the best person to answer this one)

I think its very easy for strong feelings to swing from one side to the other (from love to hate) but i still don't believe this game is in any shape or form an allegory for modern day america or a commentary on the police institution in the US. Maybe its a bit of cultural dissonance at play. I dont know the remedy sad as it is because im not affected by it

[mmmthornton]

Stolkien Roommates AU Thots

They're both ~30 years old

Tolkien works a pretty cushy tech bro startup company where he feels uncomfortably like he's there as a "diversity hire" even though the place doesn't really hire a lot of women and all of his managers are white dudes.

Still, he gets paid well and has the income to live pretty good.

He has a 2br apartment that he rents for himself and uses the spare room as an office, but decides to rent it out so he can save money for a down payment on a house (yay boring 30's people things).

Stan is working as a waiter and doing online classes to be a vet tech.

Him and Nichole are in the same D&D group and she's worried about him living with his obnoxious and loud roommates while trying to make positive moves in his life.

During the interview, Stan asks how Tolkien knows Nichole and he mentions that they dated back when they were kids.

Stan: "Aw cool, and you guys stayed friends since then?" Tolkien: "Well yeah, when you're the only two black kids in school you have a lot of shared experiences i guess." Stan: " : [] "

Stan: "...I didn't realize until seeing your name written out, are you named after JRR Tolkien? That's cool!" Tolkien: "Yes, and I hate that nerd crap. Its just what my dad was into." Stan: (slowly putting away the earmarked copy of The Silmarilion he keeps on him at all times) "Ah, i see..."

Despite the incredibly awkward first meeting they are a good fit and Stan moves in.

One day Tolkien comes in to the living room to see Stan on the couch staring at the TV and flipping through channels / videos without really looking at any of them.

Tolkien: "....you...okay man?" Stan: "Fine. What? No, I'm fine." Tolkien: "Its...okay if you're not, if there's something I can do please let me kn-" Stan: "Okay its nothing but my insurance fucked up and i had to reset something but my medication refill happened to be riiighhht at that cusp so for the next five days while I wait for my insurance to kick back in I'm out of my meds well technically i could get my meds but without insurance its like $200 for a weeks worth which is bullshit because our healthcare system is designed by out of touch billionaires but overall i'm fine, its fine." Tolkien: " :[] "

Tolkien would probably invite him to play basketball with Craig and the guys to get him out of the house and out of his own head then.

I like the idea that they're both people who benefit from and are willing to give the benefit of the doubt to others when they come up on personal and difficult topics.

They're also both the same level of "extraverted but appreciates chilling out with a video game and weed" which makes for very good roommate hangs.

Nichole and Stan end up hosting some of their D&D games from the place and even convince Tolkien to join them in some of their nerdy bullshit. IDK i just love Stan and Nichole being dorky besties who paint minis together.

I think Nichole would be the one to notice more when their habits and mannerisms are bleeding into each other like 👀👀👀

Nichole: "Wow Tolkien, since when do you like the Souls games?" Tolkien: "Stan's been playing through them on my PS4 in the living room; its pretty neat and the monster design is sick." Nichole: "Mhmm."

Nichole: "Hey Stan, that's a nice sweater! I don't think I've seen you wear something that wasn't a graphic t or a hoody!" Stan: "Thanks! Tolkien and I went shopping since I needed more professional stuff and he turned me on to this 'color block' look." Nichole: "Mhmmmm."

I also think Tolkien would have some Rich Kid habits like, he gets Hello Fresh deliveries but just kinda forgets about it/is too lazy to use them so it ends up in the trash before Stan moves in.

Stan is way more reluctant to throw out food so he asks if he can use the stuff in the box rather than just put the whole thing in the trash, and ends up making some of the weeknight meals that they have together.

This is good for both of them because 1) Tolkien probably shouldn't order out for food so much and 2) Stan probably would skip meals (either too busy or just not feeling up to it) if the food wasn't already basically right there.

Thats all i got for now, enjoy this self indulgent mess lol.

[olivetreehugger]

SnK Warriors as Health Care Workers

I’m an ICU nurse, and I’ve come across a tonnnn of different types of healthcare workers in my line of work. These are just my hc’s for what kind of HCWs the Warrior unit would be. These are totally my opinion! Also, real healthcare is NOT the same as TV healthcare, not every doctor is a surgeon (and they’re not the best, either). Anyway, here we go :)

Warnings: mentions of blood, medical procedures, opioids, death

-Zeke: he’d be a fourth year neurosurgery resident. Neurosurgery residents are either cold, arrogant assholes or fun bros. No in-between. They’re always on the move or in surgery honing their skills. They don’t sleep and they’re on call 24/7. 

Zeke is always carrying a strong, black Starbucks coffee and reeks of cigarette smoke. He’s always exhausted because he's covering all the neuro patients in the hospital overnight and then rounds with the attending (Magath? idk) in the morning til like 2pm. It’s a miracle he doesn’t kill anyone. He’s wicked smart and super talented in the OR, but kind of a dick with the nurses. He shows up at the bedside to do a quick procedure, doesn’t tell the nurses ahead of time. He grabs all the supplies on his own because “the nurses don’t know what I like” and then when he’s done he’ll leave the leftover dirty gloves, removed drain, stray bloody gauze, and empty boxes all over the room. He has a somewhat asinine attitude towards patients, poor bedside manner. He doesn’t order pain  medication for the intubated patient before removing a drain bc “they’re sedated, right?” No, Dr. Jaeger, neuro patients don’t get heavy sedation. Please order a small dose of pain meds. You’re hurting them. “Oh, right. I’ll order that.” No, he won’t. Zeke always promises to throw in orders, always forgets. 

You’ll spend your shift paging him for orders, cleaning up after him and getting rude comments over the phone. He’s gonna make a fantastic neurosurgeon, though. He’ll save your life.

-Porco: An ER resident for SURE. He loves the chaos of the emergency department. A typical male in healthcare-he loves the trauma, the blood and guts, the crazy. He tries to avoid pregnant women and kids, they freak him out. BUT, that didn’t stop him from holding a woman’s hand when she gave birth right there in the ER lobby.  Great bedside manner. So smart. And he’s super sweet, actually??? He also creates secret handshakes with the kids and sweet talks the old ladies to make them more comfortable. He tells them to call him Pock or Porco, not Dr. Galliard.

Unfortunately, When he first started, he got a little too cocky and claimed he didn’t need to scan a patient after getting hit in the chest with a hockey stick. Patient suffered a ruptured vessel and almost died right there. After a very rigid monitoring program, he was able to practice again. He’s also a giant flirt. He dated most nurses in the hospital and they ALL talk about his dick game.

Porco rides his motorcycle to work and sometimes skips his helmet. All the nurses shame him for it, reminding him of the horrible head injuries that come in through the trauma bay because of motorcycle crashes. He comes in double fisting Monster energy drinks and jamming to whatever his air pods are playing probably Hamilton. ER residents are chaotic and funny and Porco is no different. During a code blue (a patient’s heart stopped) he kept calm and hummed “stayin’ alive” while they performed CPR. He runs a code like a goddamn CHAMP. He has ACLS memorized to a T and intubates better than most attendings. The nurses will tell him the patient’s labs look better after the medication he ordered and he’ll be like “Hell yeah, let’s keep it goin’” or “A’ight let’s get crazy” before an emergency procedure. If the nurses can’t place an IV, you bet your sweet ass he’s grabbing the ultrasound and throwing a few in for them <3

Pieck: She’s an infectious disease PA. She’s very soft-spoken, patient and intelligent. Orders and notes are always flawless. Apologizes whenever she orders blood cultures and even offers to draw them for the nurses if they’re busy. She buys everyone pizza when she’s on the unit. All the nurses love her. She’s perfect. 

Annie: A nightshift CVICU nurse. There’s a joke online that cardiovascular/cardiothoracic ICU nurses are the biggest bitches ever.  And it’s true, most are. BUT. Annie is probably the best nurse to have if you’ve just come out of open-heart surgery or had a lung transplant. She knows exactly what to do when a patient is crashing and is a BEAST when it comes to chest compressions. She is a pro at putting in IVs and troubleshooting pumps/machines when they don’t work. She has every single lab value, test and medication stored in that brain of hers and can pull it out before you can finish asking a question. 

She gives a quick, concise report on all her patients and expects the same. If you don’t, she rolls her eyes at you and rushes you. “I don’t need useless information. What drips are you running?” She gets in trouble sometimes because she makes her student nurses cry, but “why don’t they know how to zero an arterial line? it’s not my fault they don’t know their stuff.” No, Annie. You’re supposed to teach them. “Oh.” 

She wears the newest, cutest scrubs and has an ivory and rose-gold stethoscope. Don’t tell her it’s basic, though, she’ll put you on her shit list lol. She also hates being floated to the medical ICU because “they don’t know what they’re doing”. 

Reiner: Our king is a medical ICU nurse who started in the ER. He loved the wild west that was the ER but started to feel burnt out after seeing so many child deaths and cases of abuse. When he finally realized what it was doing to him he applied for a medical ICU position on night shift and transferred right away.

Baby, he thrived there. This guy is so compassionate with his patients and knows how to advocate for them well. He has a great rapport with all the physicians (except Porco, when Reiner was working ER they would butt heads frequently) He’s great to give report to, never gives the previous nurse a rough time. When he reports off to the next shift, his rooms are a little messy sometimes but he ALWAYS has extra supplies for you and the patient is clean. He learned so much from the patients and his peers that he was eventually promoted to charge RN. He’s the best charge nurse. Knows all the protocols and will call any doctor for you. Anytime you need help doing a procedure, he’s your man: IVs? “How many you want?” Blood draw? “I’ll grab the tubes”. Patient’s about to code? “I got compressions”. Call security for the violent patient down the hall? “I AM security”. 

His scrubs are a little snug around his shoulders and chest and he knows this. Baby likes to show off. He likes to flex his muscles for anyone watching, but he’s not a douche. Reiner is an absolute gentleman with his female coworkers, never complains when they ask him for lifting help. In fact, he loves being of use. It’s why he’s a nurse in the first place: he loves helping people <33

Bertholdt: He started with Reiner in the ER but wanted something more stable so he transferred to the burn unit (get it?). Reiner still hasn’t forgiven him. 

Colt: He’s in nursing school but loved the idea of being a trauma nurse. Then he did a clinical rotation in the trauma ICU and fainted when a confused patient ripped a screw out of his fractured arm. After that he decided to do pediatrics lol.