#idk i just think that’s so interesting i can’t believe i went so many years not realizing i had drawn the same thing 4 years earlier

[steviescrystals]

my tags on the post i just reblogged got me thinking so here’s my current stream of consciousness

[shinsorokiri]

y’know i know a lot of people talk about how they love shane and seb because they’re the damaged men in the game, and like same 100%, but i also see a lot of people kinda dismiss sam as a golden retriever, positive, happy character. but if you really think about it, sam fits into the same category as seb and shane too. like:

1. his mother expresses multiple times to the farmer that although she loves her children, she very much longs to have a life where she doesn’t have to constantly worry about kids. in a way a part of her deep down wishes that sam and vincent didn’t really exist and it tears her apart and vincent isn’t necessarily old enough to grasp the concept, but sam is and you know he notices it. this is the woman who raised him and (i at least headcanon him) as someone who is very observant. he definitely notices these behaviors coming from her. and idk about you, but having an inkling that your mother is unhappy with her life in any capacity would really screw me up personally.

2. his father went to WAR. like fully went to war and i’m thinking he was in the army for 2 and a half years at least because he has a corporal badge (even though it’s upside down) but that means that he was away for bootcamp, then deployed, and if sam is around what? like 19? 20? that means that he became the “man of the household” at 17 or 18. Because I personally believe Kent was away for three to three and a half years. Bootcamp for about 10 weeks, straight to a base for more training, and it seems as though the active war made it so he got deployed into action fairly quickly. So, not only did Sam have an absence where his father should have been during the years he became a young adult, but he has to adjust to his father coming back and struggling with PTSD and quite honestly being shellshocked. (i also believe kent was honorably discharged, meaning something bad happened to him in the war. perhaps it was the same event where he lost many of his friends, but i fully believe the war is still ongoing even when kent returns to the valley considering the traveling merchant is still smuggling things into the town.) all the memories he had of kent are just memories now because his father will never be the same as he was before. And sam KNOWS that! even vince notices it!

3. he’s literally a rebellious skater kid, one of his heart events is him getting in trouble WITH THE MAYOR because he’s skating where he’s not supposed to, AND he purposely tries to sabotage the soup for the potluck and leads in community service hours. he’s a teenage dirtbag baby! a misunderstood edgy kid who acts out because he doesn't know how to express his feelings! and on top of that, with his adhd he’s even more misunderstood and people don’t take him seriously at all. he gets scolded for things that he seemingly just can’t help all the time and that just hurts him and makes him act out even more.

4. sam is also a damaged individual - he’s just better at masking it. seb embraces the darkness and accepts that he is an outcast and doesn’t try to hide the fact he is. shane struggles with addiction and depression publicly and it’s not negative necessarily, but he can’t hide it from anyone. sam has a warped idea that he cannot show his ailments, physical or mental because he needs to be strong for his little brother and give an example of what he believes a man should be (and because of the patriarchal society he lives in he doesn’t know that he can be vulnerable because no one told him because the man who would have been able to explain that to him during the years he really needed to hear it wasn’t there). i fear he suffers a bit from toxic positivity and desperately tries to rely on hobbies to distract him from his reality. 

long story short, sam is not just a silly guy, he has depth. i mean come on, he's best friends with sebastian for a reason! they’re similar in ways! he just doesn’t know how to talk about or express it. all this to say, sam is an interesting and deep character that shouldn’t be written off immediately by people.

sam supremacy! lmao

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

I’m also a "Paul is not meaningfully attracted to men" person. He just reads so so straight to me (although I do think his relationship to other men in general is odd!). What did Paul think his relationship with John was exactly? What a great question, and I’ll give you my feelings which is I definitely DONT think Paul ever thought about it while they were together. I truly believe P+J were in an emotional relationship (I.e. they were basically on the dating level but without the romantic aspect) because Paul was doing so much emotional managing of John and John gave Paul emotional support. They both put a ton of unqualified emotional labor in to an each other that’s usually reserved for a romantic relationship (for men). (But I also don’t think either of them were super aware of that while it was happening. I think John knew there was an exchange there but didn’t really understand it till later). I think in the 80s directly after John died Paul went on a journey to figure out what happened in their relationship and I think he found things out that really shook him. I think he maybe realized there was a romantic element to their relationship (especially from johns pov) but then I also think he kinda rejected it after realizing it brought up so much guilt within him. I think he has slowly realized over time John wasn’t such a great partner to him but then he hates thinking about that so he vacillates wildly between love and anger and grief. I think he went through a period in the 80s were he genuinely thought “maybe I should’ve just … “ but can’t quite let himself think about it. I think he thinks I could’ve loved him enough to make him stay I wish I had but it was too scary he wanted too much from me. I think now as an old man he thinks I love him that much now it doesn’t scare me anymore I could’ve hugged him and kissed him easily I wish I hadn’t been so uptight (and I don’t mean that romantically). I think he romanticizes the times they laid in bed together because there was an intimacy there he deeply misses. I think John was the first love of his life and I think he’s realized it now (like now now) but it took him 20/30 years post him dying to kinda realize that. Again I don’t mean romantically I think in the sense of I put as much emotional labor in to John as I did in to Linda (although obviously much more with Linda). While they were in their relationship I think Paul only thought of it as like.. natural?? This is just how we naturally are. We legally own a piece of each other and so it’s natural I take this much interest and care. I think Jane forced him to question his relationship with John many times and mostly he dodged it but there definitely came a time where it scared him that people could think of them as queer which is kinda like step one in to their fractured relationship. Now I think he looks back on it like so what? So what if I loved him and he loved me (once again this is like a recent thing). I don’t think it was sexual for Paul but was it sexual for John? I think johns sense of sex was wildly distorted so any deep feeling was entangled with sex and certainly intimacy was entangled with sex (that’s probably also an era thing so Paul falls in to that as well) so I think John in particular struggled with sexual desire and intimacy desire being intermixed. Anyway that’s my analysis

(Cont.)

I know I said SO MUCH in that last ask sorry but also I just thought what about Paul and Sex? And I have to say I do think Paul’s relationship with John wildly effected his sexuality and sense of sex especially since they met so young I think John had a huge impact on how Paul relates to sex so to say it’s completely detached from their relationship? Err I can’t quite dismiss it! But I think it mostly comes across in Paul’s relationships with women than in with John. I just look at the dynamics Between Paul and Francie and Jane and Heather in particular and I think there’s echoes of John here. Idk what that means for Paul but!! Sex definitely plays a part but I don’t see it as Sex and Romance combined it’s definitely different quadrants.

Wow! What an insightful ask to wake up to!

I find myself agreeing with a lot of it, though I'm slightly unclear what you mean by emotional labour. I do see Paul as taking on somewhat of a role of John's carer, though more in an almost parental way, but while I think John loved Paul a lot I'm not sure what labour he was doing? He does seem to have played a role in calming Paul's nerves, as that one scene in Get Back shows, but it's hard for me to gauge how often stuff like that occurred.

Anyways! Here's stuff I really really like/want to emphasize from your take: (under the cut to not clog everyone's dash):

"I definitely DONT think Paul ever thought about it while they were together. […] While they were in their relationship I think Paul only thought of it as like.. natural?? This is just how we naturally are. We legally own a piece of each other and so it’s natural I take this much interest and care."

This! I also think it wouldn't be technically wrong to call the way they were natural. Personally, I think it kind of was. They spent an insane amount of time together, went through the one-way-door of fame together, worked on art together – which IS intimate in my opinion – plus there was that whole mother dying bond. So, I sort of get it, if Paul looked at his atypically close relationship to John and didn't feel like it was out of the ordinary in that way. Also great point re:"we legally own a piece of each other". I think it's kind of fascinating the way their names were legally tied to each other in a way that echoes real marriages. It plays a huge part in Paul's "claim" on John during the post-1980 Widow Wars.

"I think in the 80s directly after John died Paul went on a journey to figure out what happened in their relationship and I think he found things out that really shook him. I think he maybe realized there was a romantic element to their relationship (especially from johns pov) but then I also think he kinda rejected it after realizing it brought up so much guilt within him."

I definitely think this is possible, though I'm very on the fence about whether it happened. Either way, the amount of guilt that realization could bring about seems insurmountable to me. If I found out something like that it would be soul-crushing to be honest.

"I think he has slowly realized over time John wasn’t such a great partner to him but then he hates thinking about that so he vacillates wildly between love and anger and grief. I think he went through a period in the 80s were he genuinely thought “maybe I should’ve just … “ but can’t quite let himself think about it. I think he thinks I could’ve loved him enough to make him stay I wish I had but it was too scary he wanted too much from me."

I think this is a great point, though I feel a lot of that anger must have already come to the forefront when the breakup happened. What does seem to have happened since is Paul trying to understand John's mental health problems, in his own, kind of problematic way. I think this is the place his whole bringing up John's family situation shtick originates from: a misguided attempt to contextualize John's less savoury behaviour. And of course, the fact that John was deeply troubled, did struggle immensely with his own self-image, did have major abandonment issues does in the end make the guilt of not being able to help him more (by "loving him enough" or by getting him professional help that wasn't really available at the time) at odds with the justified anger Paul felt at the hurt John caused him. I think this is a seriously under-explored piece of Paul's post-1980 feelings for John, and I get why: Paul downplays it massively because it's a dark road.

There's also an inherent trade-off between Paul finally internalizing that John did in fact genuinely care about him and him subsequently realizing that perhaps John wanted more. It's deeply sad however you choose to spin it :(

And lastly, yeah, I've wondered if, if Paul knew John had harboured romantic feelings for him, would he think "well... I could have done that". Not because he necessarily genuinely desired it, but because it's so hard to imagine post-hoc anyways, and he just wants something that will fix it, and in the world of hypotheticals, anything is better than the reality we're living in.

"I think now as an old man he thinks I love him that much now it doesn’t scare me anymore I could’ve hugged him and kissed him easily I wish I hadn’t been so uptight (and I don’t mean that romantically)."

Yeah… Yeah. Again, this makes perfect sense to me. It honestly makes me kind of sad to see how tactile he is with Ringo these days. Like he'll give him a cheek kiss as a greeting and I just mourn the carefree intimacy That Could Have Been, y'know, that clearly he regrets not having with John.

"I think John was the first love of his life and I think he’s realized it now (like now now) but it took him 20/30 years post him dying to kinda realize that."

I do kind of wonder if him realizing that after the fact might also mean that it may in fact be somewhat revisionist of him to think of it that way. And that isn't to say that John didn't mean an immense amount to him at the time, but I guess the idea of a "love of one's life" is somewhat constructed if that makes sense. Like part of someone being the love of your life is that you think of them that way. So if he only began thinking of it that way after John died, is that the same as if he had realized it while they were together? I think this is an interesting question. In a way, Paul continues to shape the reality of his relationship to John to this day – which is not the same as lying or delusion in my opinion! It's simply that as he ages the lens with which he looks back inevitably keeps changing with him.

I think Jane forced him to question his relationship with John many times and mostly he dodged it but there definitely came a time where it scared him that people could think of them as queer which is kinda like step one in to their fractured relationship.

Could you elaborate on this? I agree that Jane probably called his relationship to John into question, but I've never seen anything indicating directly that Paul was worried people thought him and John were in a romantic relationship at the time (clearly, the rumours that cropped up after the fact have bothered him). I know there's that Apple Scruff report where just, after telling the groupies who hung around Cavendish that he would be marrying Linda soon and receiving blank stares in response, he exploded like "what??? you think I'm some queer who'll never get married???" but that particular story isn't directly linked to his relation to John. Is there another story I've missed?

That being said, I think Paul felt self-conscious about how John took it, thinking back to Paul being afraid dying George would swat him away for holding his hand. And we know John used to regularly disparage Paul for being "sissy" in various ways.

I think johns sense of sex was wildly distorted so any deep feeling was entangled with sex and certainly intimacy was entangled with sex […] so I think John in particular struggled with sexual desire and intimacy desire being intermixed.

Harrrrd agree on this. I think the Julia stuff really indicates this and it's just the general vibe I get from the way he talked about relationships as an all-or-nothing thing.

(that’s probably also an era thing so Paul falls in to that as well) […] And I have to say I do think Paul’s relationship with John wildly effected his sexuality and sense of sex especially since they met so young I think John had a huge impact on how Paul relates to sex so to say it’s completely detached from their relationship? Err I can’t quite dismiss it! But I think it mostly comes across in Paul’s relationships with women than in with John.

Also agree with this a lot actually! Both that the way they both put marriage on a pedestal is definitely a historical thing and it's true that makes the atypicalness of their friendship more ""questionable"" in that sense; it's one of the reasons I've never wholly dismissed Full Reciprocated McLennon™, because this aspect is somewhat better accounted for by that version of events. And yes, it's undeniable they experienced sex together, if not necessarily with each other.

(But Fiona! Confirmed circlejerks??? – Again, this is a fair point, but I do think this falls into the ambiguous of category of "could be gay – could not be" where it just kind of depends how the participants think of it plus how much they're actively thinking about everyone else involved and if so, in what way. If you personally consider it gay no matter what, then congrats, John and Paul had sex, but I don't know that Paul agrees with you and if he doesn't I don't think that would necessarily constitute denial.)

I just look at the dynamics Between Paul and Francie and Jane and Heather in particular and I think there’s echoes of John here.

Could you maybe elaborate on this? I find myself in partial agreement but I'm also not sure how much of that is just because Paul has an MO for operating with people in general. Also for the John/Heather Mills parallels, please refer to my Friend Hannah (@royaltyisshe64) and her pipeline theory lol. (Literally bless my tagging system for helping me track this down again)

All in all, thank you so much for your long thoughtful message!

[thebindingofpillo]

Hi! The previous anon who asked about your bio here. Kind of random but I'm curious what the fav ice cream flavors of the cast are. And since I'm bored, I'm gonna give my guesses Isaac: Chocolate

Magdalene: pistachio

Cain: Vanilla Judas: hot fudge Eve: Cookies and cream Samson: strawberry Azazel: rainbow sherbet (not ice cream but seemed fitting idk why Lazarus: black walnut Eden: Prob doesn't eat but if i had to guess butter pecan Lilith: doesn't like ice cream but gets chocolate chip cookie dough for Fwendy Apollyon: believe they were confirmed to not eat in an ask years ago but if they could uhhhhh strawberry Bethany: Mint chocolate chip Jacob: peanut butter Esau: ghost ice cream Neapolitan

all of these were just done off of vibes and little to no thought went in to them

Hiiiiii I love all of these, tbf I haven’t really thought about their favourite ice cream flavours either but it’s fun! Here’s my thoughts. Disclaimer: I don’t really know a lot of American ice cream flavours lol

Isaac: he’d probably like chocolate ngl. A bit basic but alright. Nothing that stands out too much. I feel like he would also like vanilla. Either that or something stupid like bubblegum. He’s too done to care, he’ll get whatever he pleases lol.

Magdalene: something rich like salted caramel, or a very fancy vanilla. Rocky road. Cookie dough. Or all of the above, together. She has a huge sweet tooth and likes mixing and matching.

Cain: He likes it simple, so I guess vanilla could go. Or rum raisin because he’s an old man.

Judas: doesn’t really like sweets in general, so he doesn’t really have a favourite ice cream. If he had to choose he’d probably go with coffee or something not overtly sweet, like pistachio or dark chocolate. Always gets the smallest cone/cup available.

Eve: isn’t really one for sweets in general unless she’s feeling really down, in which case she’d eat a whole tub in one sitting. Likes chocolate chip, but when she’s feeling especially shitty she will branch out with stuff like caramel, chocolate etc. always with chunks tho, she loves chunks.

Samson: I know Americans make a difference between ice cream and gelato but I literally never knew what it was. Anyway Samson likes gelato. Probably cherry idk. There’s a super good cassata gelato at my local supermarket and I feel like he’d like that one but I don’t really know how to describe it lmao.

Azazel: another sweet tooth. I feel like he wouldn’t really have a favourite flavor bc he’d like way too many to decide. He’s always loved human food and is always down to try anything. I feel like he’d be interested in more uncommon flavours like popcorn (idk if its common over there, but I’ve never seen it here) or that raspberry and rosemary one i tried once. Or sea salt. WAIT almond ice cream with dried figs. That’s the one.

Lazarus: I have no idea how black walnut would taste. But I trust you.

Eden doesn’t eat, you’re right, but they might partake in the Human Activities from time to time. And when they’ll become human (spoiler) they’ll get to try a lot of different things! I feel like they’d have a very limited palate tho, kinda like a small child. So nothing too complicated, like strawberry.

Lilith: STRAWBEBBY one time I had a very good strawberry float with prosecco and it was so her. Fwendy would appreciate the cookie dough chunks tho, they can munch on them together u.u

Apollyon can’t eat :( but he’d like very basic flavours. There’s a flavour over here called fiordilatte that’s even more basic than vanilla, it literally tastes like milk, I think he would like that.

Bethany also strikes me as a mint chocolate chip girlie, I can see that. Lazarus knows that and always keeps it in the freezer so she doesn’t have to go without u.u

Jacob: mhmmmmmm very hard to figure out. I don’t really remember if he liked sweets or not, but peanut butter strikes that balance of not too sweet but still great so I can see him liking it.

Esau: isn’t Neapolitan like three flavours together mhmmmm he feels like a frozen yogurt kind of guy. With extra protein and fruit toppings.

[yakultii]

today was so wild it went from being so extremely shitty and thinking I wasn’t getting out of bed to then extremely grateful because I turned my day around and was glad to be alive to then nearly being bashed on a bus lmao nothing went to plan today and I didn’t end up getting my banh mi because I ate a brekky burger right before I left (and also I went in the opposite direction to the place I was gonna eat from) but positives of today are that I went to chadddy (biggest shopping centre (aka mall for international moots) in not just aus but the southern hemisphere if you didn’t know except it’s also my local like 10mins away) and I bought a few random useful bits and bobs from miniso and daiso <33 and I also bought a few random drinks from a supermarket in the shopping centre cause I’d never seen said drinks before and one thing about me I love trying one off random drinks and then I came home and FaceTimed one of my brothers and marinated some tempeh for tomorrow cause apparently I’m in my cooking era which is extremely suss of me???? (but I’m sure it’ll die off in a week when uni is back) but it’ll be interesting to see how it tastes tomorrow in a stirfry - the marinade was basically honey soy & garlic (I don’t follow recipe bc my adhd brain could never so I just make it up myself but I also wanna experiment w this a bit over next few days and come up w the perfect marinade I reckon) also did a random face mask and hair mask and ate lotsa meals ofc.. I do however wish I drank a little more water but it’s only like 8pm there’s still time!!!! I can’t believe tomorrow is Monday (last week before uni classes are back), I think tomorrow’s goals are to cook the mince in my fridge I bought for burritos to freeze and to try the tempeh in a stir fry also and to drink more water and maybe go for a walk cos I didn’t really do that today other than in the shopping centre which honestly counts bc I always get lost tryna find my way out despite having been there 99449483722 times bc I am directionally challengedlol… anyways, as a whole I feel like this exact same day I would have said was shit or mid at most in the mindset I was in before I started my daily positive things tag cos inevitably w my health rn there is a shit element in every day but I’m slowly shifting my mind to realise that’s an element of the day (though it does infiltrate all of it in a way Ssshh) and there are many other elements and actually I’m not mad that I’m here for the good elements.. I’m also like allowing myself to partake in the good elements which has been a little unexpected!! still as isolated as ever and hate the cold but so far this winter is feeling more manageable than ever before!! (maybe bc I’m not trying to come off a certain med like I try to this time every year even tho I so desperately want to but like extreme insomnia is the result of that and ruins eberything so idk if wanna risk it rn ahhhhh) I know it’s not much for a lot of ppl but I feel like I’m doing so much(for me) than this time last year and the year before and many years before when I couldn’t even get myself out of bed let alone do more than one task (I really hope I can keep this going when uni is back) ok imma quit yappin now

[luffyvace]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

No I don’t mind at all!! I’ve never been asked this question before and it’s really interesting so of course I’ll answer! <3

Btw this is anime only bc I only watch anime/read manga :)

1: Feitan

I love Feitan honestly bc he’s cool, hot, strong and just generally awesome. I love his personality and how fearless he is. He’s number one even though they’re were many before him because I’m crazy about him and he’s just generally my all time fav. He isn’t a “phase” I love him all the time think about him all the time..FOR YEARS.

2: Aizawa

I found out about him way before Feitan and was the original number one..BUT I don’t love him any less. He’s honestly just so cool and I thought he was as soon as I saw him. He has such a calm yet self assured and strong demeanor to him. I admire him in a sense, he has morals and sticks to them. He’s also once again, strong. He cares for his loved ones and manages to be cool and a green flag- not something all anime guys can do.

3: Izuku

Izuku is under Aizawa bc I literally started loving him directly after lol. I love him with all my heart. He’s just so determined and realistic/relatable in a sense. He strives for his goals and doesn’t give up. It’s admirable. He has such a kind heart and is a green flag. Tsu should honestly be up here bc she’s the first ever anime character I found out a about but I love izuku more- osusndkjnsjd-

4: Luffy

If I knew him for longer he would be higher. I got into one piece just recently but I still love him very much. He’s such a cool and silly guy he does no harm and is selfishly selfless. What an odd balance of getting what you want and bringing happiness. Essentially what he wants is for people (specifically his loved ones) to be happy and will stop at nothing to bring that to them. Truly only has good intent. Also who doesn’t like freedom and liberation?? This guy literally stands for that!! He stand for those who don’t have a voice and that’s so cool to me! I’m so proud of him in that sense. I also love his silly goofy vibe despite the worlds cruel ways. It’s refreshing and makes one piece a less depressing place since in a sense we’re pretty much seeing one piece from his prospective. If we saw things how zoro or law sees it, it may be a lot more realistic, a bit more drab and plain in sight. That’s my take on it anyway.

5: Katsuki

katsuki’s character development is top tier. (Spoiler) I’m not talking about him dying. I’m talking about how he went from telling Izuku to ky$ and mistreating him and others to viewing people as equals/something more than competition, apologizing and atoning for his mistakes. He did something even most grown men/women can’t do these days..smh. He even did it better than endeavor. 😂 I also like how strong he is and how much he believes in himself. It’s only a problem because of the way he expresses that but if he was simply confident I feel he’d have less haters.

6: Fyodor

honestly he just freakin cool dude! Like he’s a genius, he’s attractive and he’s got a cool/mysterious power. I like when anime characters are a different race in Japan, it just makes things more fun. I love him for his imperfections too. I saw someone talk about how (spoiler) Fyodor wouldn’t have died if he just trusted his friends/allies more. I like that about him too. It makes space for character development and realization if he lives.

7: Atsushi

I first started watch bsd a long time ago. I remember loving the first ep so much. I really like how atsushi met dazai- lol. It was all really unique and there was no overused troupes. New, fresh, stuff you wouldn’t expect. I mean unless it’s mc hating on themselves..but I didn’t dislike atsushi for it or anything. Idk why I just didn’t, I’ve loved him since he first appeared on screen. I’ve always thought he deserved better. He’s such a kind hearted character and his mental and physical strength developed well. He doesn’t have any love interests either! It makes me happy when it’s straight plot and no canon romance in anime. Honestly I just love how sincere and genuine Atsushi is.

8: Nikolai

At first I both liked and disliked him at the same time. But then again I kinda simped for him so I did research (fandom, and when he got animated) and now i love em. I really love silly characters with inner problems that they project onto different things (emotions; for Niko). It gives they’re character deeper meaning than just being a silly guy. Yeah that’s fun but it gives you more to think about this way. I think his design is very cute and fun! At first I did expect to have a higher pitched voice but as time went on I realized two things. One: his voice actually fit him and I only didn’t like it at first because it didn’t meet my imaginary standard. Two: he’s a grown man, and while it’s possible, especially with anime logic, it’s more realistic this way and I’m glad his voice isn’t high pitched now.

9: Portgas D Ace

now I absolutely love Ace and while I he’s my number 2 in one piece, over all anime’s he ranks a little lower but he’s def still up there. Again I’m still in the impel down arc so his backstory n stuff is coming up for me, so when I say he needs more screen time I mean besides that. He’s an attractive man who worked on himself from a young age to be polite and respectful, he’s very friendly as well. I love and respect all that about him. He’s another silly guy but in a different way. Idk I honestly just like him, idk how to explain it this time. He’s just cool!!

10: Saiki k

I didn’t know whether to put brook or tokito here. I would’ve gone with tokito because I’ve been watching kny longer but I feel I like him more? Saiki k is a really interesting anime. It’s a comedy anime in a regular and relatable setting but with a spin; superpowers. This gives the anime more chances for funny moments and comedy. With saiki’s attitude of wanting to be normal as well? Perfect! Saiki is honestly still relatable even with powers and is not a simp. Which I really like about him, He probably wouldn’t be on this list if he got with someone. In fact he avoids what could be love interests and that makes it even more funny. I’m glad he doesn’t give in and give us the traditional wife, babies and sunset ending. 🤦‍♀️

brook isn’t on the list but top 10 is NOT easy to choose..I also wanted to add tokito but again top ten is so limiting </3😔

[thisisyourprincipalspeaking]

Love your questions! I’ll place your questions to me in pink! 😉

why do you think he couldn't go down that kind of career path otherwise? (i have my own thoughts but i'm interested in yours)

- I think many of us have witnessed the multiple insecurities this man has unintentionally let everyone know he battles. Anyone belittling themselves in a “joking” way multiple times is very telling. Being confident isn’t arrogant, but talking down on yourself all the time shows insecurity. I believe he’s scared and I know he deals with anxiety issues so I can only hope he works on himself, seeks counseling, etc to reach his fullest potential one day. He’s very talented but his fans can’t want more for him than he wants for himself. As so many have stated, from our limited perspective, it’s like he said screw improving his craft and personal development and went straight for a perceived “easy” route. FAIL!

in your opinion has this been beneficial in that way thus far? or would he have had the same recent opportunities regardless of his relationship status?

- this is hard to say because as we all know or can assume …..being successful in Hollywood isn’t about sole talent unless you are top tier talent level wise, thus you don’t have to resort to silly pr stunts, but as time goes by even some of the most talented are resorting to pr related things just to stay relevant. I will say that when it comes to getting roles THAT is where I think it’s not as easy as many like to believe. I don’t know if Chris panicked, thought this was a good business move, had his agency persuade or threatened his career, studios didn’t see it for him outside of Marvel, etc. (all assumptions of course). I just know when award season draws near, many single stars who are in top related or relevant projects……magically gain significant others around award season and I don’t know Hollywood’s unwritten rules, but I think it’s sad that their personal lives become part of deciding if something, that should be solely based on talent, is obtainable for them or not. The fact Chris and her magically popped up around award party season doesn’t leave my mind either.

Now where would he be currently had he stayed single or kept his private life……ACTUALLY private. Idk. What I do know is popularity wise he’d be in a much better place and maybe that would have helped Jinx or ASP or whatever else he’s promoted the past few years. Now majority of the fandom quit or barely care and he’s got a slew of projects coming out that could be great or bomb and if they bomb, no telling what may happen regarding this shitfest, but by that time this fandom may no longer exist. 🤪

do you feel like there hasn't been enough time for this to show fruit just yet and we will potentially see more later?

- at this point, I see no benefit. He/his team dropped the ball big time. If this is real, there should not have been any trolling, 7482893 of irrelevant articles, orchestrated pap shots, mess, etc he simply could have posted her to his IG grid, turned comments off and went about his business. Ironically this would’ve given them more attention, appeared natural than the Central Park horror show they used to debut this mess. He had a great position and huge fanbase, well large enough to get him trending with every post. Too late now though unless they end this, disassociate from her but again they are “married”: she’ll be known as his first wife unless they have a plan to make this disappear 🙄 and regroup his career, but even then the trust is broken. They instead squandered that and whatever benefits he had or has just seems wasted. I still refuse to believe this isn’t a pr stunt because you can’t tell me a bunch of adult collectively thought THIS was the best option to debut his personal relationship if legit. Too much crap has happened even with two “weddings”. It either shows his team is incompetent and since he’s in charge that means he agreed to this mess or CAA has more power than we know. Either way Chris comes off as the complete opposite of what everyone has come to love/like him for.

- Will this ever end, not sure maybe not for a long while or not at all. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I will say anything can happen at this point so I’d just suggest those heavily invested in this just walk away until this ends or is confirmed to be legit in a way I refuse to waste time typing. But even if this never ends, I don’t see Chris returning to his once loved and respected status among fans nor the general public. Even if the age gap were the only issues, he shows he has issues. A mature man isn’t marrying a twenty something yr old, period. He’s lucky the general population isn’t aware of EVERYTHING His fandom is aware of …..but maybe this would have needed sooner if the backlash was that dire and huge.

I expected better from this man, but this is also a huge example as to why we shouldn’t place expectations on other humans let alone ones we don’t actually know nor should we put them on pedestals which is why Hollywood thrives unfortunately.

Hope this answers some stuff, just my random thoughts & opinions, fell free to ask anymore questions. 😎☺️

thank you for coming back and answering my questions, nonnie. i do agree with you on some points.

i do think celebrities can hide their true selves when needed. and we have seen some celebrities do this for long periods of time over the years. but i also will not give leniency to a celebrity, with lots of money, access and the ability to get help (therapy) if they want it. many many people have anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns and function every day. he has anxiety? okay. but that is not a crutch i will give him as a multimillionaire who chose his path and has money for therapy, treatment, physicians, etc. many others do not have that luxury and still go about their daily lives.

one reason i can see this being "real" is because of how messy it is. her friends are trash and troll. that's obvious. she's lazy and gets access to many rooms more talented, more hard working, or more accomplished actors don't because of this association and she's done nothing with it. if it's real, his team didn't get a say. they just got told to make it known to the public and make it look okay. if that's what happened. okay. there is no professional on earth who could work with this scenario and make it look okay.

but thank you, nonnie. i do enjoy seeing your thoughts! please come back any time!

[ratstarxx]

alright so idk i just wanted to share an anecdote and my journey as an aroace person.

So this story starts the beginning of my freshman year. my second day really because it was just us on the first. now this needs prefaced by saying, i don’t have a lot of friends. it’s not some sad horrific thing - i mean id like a couple more friends but i’m not keen on a giant group. so at this point i have one solid friend, and i make it through the day like scouting out who’s nice and who i could get along with. my last class of the day is acting and i’ve already seen these people once or twice helping out with drama and i quickly get the understanding that they’re chill and id get along with them. the acting class is in the auditorium and we’re told to sit stage right in like two sections. i just pick a seat way off to the (stage) right, around people but not directly next to anyone. over the next week or so i start settling in and end up joining the big group twords the middle. i sit next to these two friends who i think are pretty cool and they seem to like me.

and the year progresses. i don’t become besties with one or the other but i make friends in general. i’m not sure if i could like become best friends with one of them because they had a really tight bond. like hallmark movie best friends. like the small part that isn’t ineffable about this relationship will be explained later on. but i am making other friends (i’m just gonna go with initials bc these ppl follow me on tumblr) and i become really good friends with w. we have some common interests but generally we just vibe yk.

now i’m gonna skip ahead a couple months to the school class play. all of us are involved in this - the previously mentioned acting friends (m and p) are both actors along with me and w is on stage crew. so one day w and i are mopping the stage or something just talking. i can’t remember exactly how it went but w has a boyfriend and he talks about him sometimes. but w really only refers to them as “my boyfriend” so i’m just going with it and pretending i know who it is. anyway at some point while we’re talking i must’ve said something like “who is your boyfriend btw” and they’re like ohhh l. and i just feel so dumb. they’re always together and interacting and i’m just like how did i not realize. i think about it for like a full day realizing how many things have gone over my head and how oblivious i am. fast forward a week or two to opening night. i’m kinda nervous because this is my first play-and also my first performance but i only had one line and i knew i could nail my characters. i have one bit in scene 3 then i change and im not needed til scene 7 so i mostly sit around and if it wasn’t crowded i sat in the fem dressing room. it’s about intermission time and we’re kinda sitting in a semi circle doing makeup as a bunch of queer (not girl) afabs. we’re talking about past relationships and stuff and coming out when p is talking and they say something along the lines of ‘and my dad was like you seem to be besttt frienddsss with m’. everyone understands and acknowledges it. then i realize. i’m like wtf. and i go ‘you’re with m??’ just lost and they confirm. this was like 10x more obvious than w and l. i have no clue how i didn’t see it. but 3 months in i realized that there relationship was romantic.

i don’t know why i care but i do. i wanted that friendship. i wanted a relationship like that. i thought i could have that if i found the right person. and in a single phrase i realized that i can’t. i know i can’t be in love. i accepted that long ago. but i struggle to accept this. maybe i didn’t believe in true love or whatever before i met them. but the way that they look at each others like they’re all they need. like it’ll be okay as long as they’re together. like i can see the hearts in their eyes. the way that they talk. the way they’re always laughing with each other. they way that they just effortlessly get each other. i don’t want to date them. i mean i’m aroace and lesbian at that. but i am so incredibly jealous. it’s like i see them together and it feels like a dagger in my chest. then i want a dagger in my chest. the jealousy consumes me.

at the beginning of that year i thought i had come to terms with myself. i’m not sure if i have. but i haven’t seen anyone talk about feeling this way, and if you’re like this, you’re not alone. we’re gonna make it through. it doesn’t matter how many friends you have or how relatable they are right now. you’re gonna find your person. and i hope someday i can find a plutonic m to my p

i really struggle with friends. i currently have 2 solid friends that i talk to most days. i know that i’m not either of their number ones. i’m aware that i put in eighty percent of the effort into our relationships. at least with one of them. but i know that people do care for me. and that i may never be able to fall in love, but i still get to be loved. and i still get to love. i just have so many more people to share my love with. i love you.

[sunflower-chai]

so. i watched shubble’s vod. i just feel so so sorry that she had to go through that but i’m glad she’s in a place now where she felt comfortable sharing her story. i truly believe it’s going to help so many people. there were parts of her story i could relate to and it was incredibly validating to hear that some of the things i went through were not okay. it’s been 4 years and i feel like over time i’ve tried to downplay exactly what happened. i’ve also blocked a lot of it out of my memory and genuinely can’t recall a lot of specific instances. but just hearing her put her experiences into words was so healing for me. i hope she feels all the love from her friends and fans and continues to heal and thrive. and i don’t know how likely this is, but i hope the person who hurt her never has the opportunity to hurt anyone ever again.

gonna vent a little below the cut:

thankfully i was never physically abused, but i was in an emotionally manipulative/borderline abusive relationship for about two months. thankfully my friends are incredible and helped me to see the red flags quickly so it didn’t last longer or progress more. but when shubble started talking about how this guy would say she was remembering things wrong and tell her she’s overreacting or being dramatic, that really hit close to home for me. because whenever my ex would do things that upset me and i called him out on it, he would say it wasn’t a big deal and i just didn’t know how relationships worked because i had never been in one before (at the time i was freshly 20 and he was 25).

also when shubble said she had to help this guy clean his house/do chores, and maybe he had never learned so she felt bad for him, i just flashed back to my ex telling me all of his childhood trauma, making me feel bad for him and like i couldn’t leave and break his heart. he admitted one of the reasons he started dating me was because he liked my family and wanted a replacement for his dysfunctional one. idk it’s a loose connection, but it’s interesting how abusers will make you feel sorry for them and sort of trap you in the relationship.

also the bit about the safe word. i laid out my physical boundaries very early on and he promised not to cross them and then he did multiple times. he would weaponize this. whenever i upset him by not texting him back immediately or had to reschedule a date because i was a busy college student, he would tell me i could make it better by offering physical affection. and i would do it bc he made me feel like i had done something awful when in reality no sane person would react like he had.

the part that made me really sick to my stomach was when shubble talked about how this guy pinned her down and told her to try to push him off and she couldn’t. and then he said she wouldn’t stand a chance against him in a fight. that is so unbelievably messed up. and all i could think of was the time i was at my ex’s apartment watching a movie and i fell asleep on his shoulder. and when i woke up he said “i can’t believe you fell asleep. i could have done anything to you and you wouldn’t have known.” if a romantic partner is thinking about and telling you these things RUN VERY FAST IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. to this day i’m still so glad i didn’t date him for a longer amount of time, who knows what might’ve happened.

okay last thing. the part about shubble’s ex insisting that he loves her more than she does. it just brought me back to when i broke up with my ex and he insisted that no one would ever love me as much as him. there were no guys out there who were as good as him. and for the longest time i believed this. i internalized that i was unlovable, that i would never find a guy who would treat me right, that all men were terrible. and i was scared of dating for years after this because i didn’t want to go through all the anxiety and waking on eggshells and screaming my anger into pillows again. but over time i’ve been able to heal, thanks to family, friends, and my relationship with God. i’ve opened my heart up to the possibility of romance again. i haven’t dated anyone since i ended things with my ex, but i’m open to the idea. but i will not settle for anything less than what i deserve. shubble’s story has definitely contributed to my resolve.

okay that’s all. if you’ve read this far thank you for letting me get this off my chest. i love you and take care of yourselves ❤️

[steviescrystals]

so i was in lit mag in high school and art editor my senior year and it was easily one of the best parts of my high school experience, and one of the great things about it was that it really helped motivate me to devote more time to my art (bc we never got enough submissions from the rest of the school so a solid amount of them came from those of us in the club lol) and one of the pieces i submitted senior year was not my best work ever but something i was really proud of at the time and the concept was something i was just obsessed with like i could not get it out of my head for so long. and the other day i was going through a folder full of my art from middle school that i hadn't looked at in forever and i found a drawing i did in 8th grade of the same thing?? like it wasn't the exact same drawing but it was the same concept and i just fully forgot i had already drawn it right up until i found it again… this is so random but i just keep thinking about it

[bisluthq]

There were several guys that didn’t like Taylor’s pr driven lifestyle and were even terrified of it. Tyler of the All American Rejects said he didn’t like her lifestyle. Hozier said he wasn’t interested in a relationship when asked about her, but he went on to some kind of relationship with other women. Interesting he didn’t deny dating her. Tom O’Dell was absolutely terrified of it. She publicly flaunted him to spite Harry, but it never went anywhere because she picked the wrong guy. These guys are just the ones we know about. Harry, Jake, and Joe A didn’t like the spotlight into the romance, and Calvin and Matty certainly hated her stans. Are we to believe all these guys are the ones with the problem, and not her at all? They all soured on a relationship with her, but most went on to long term relationships or even marriage with others.

Ehhhhh. Ehhhhhhhhhh. I hear some of what you’re saying but like for me the point is it takes two to tango. Hiddles and Calvin are significantly older than Taylor and only quite/very recently (respectively) found their forever partners (for now lol at least like marriage isn’t actually till death do you part; sources: my parents and my boyfriend lol). Harry dated Taylor when he was 19 and she was 23 and like idk I didn’t know what the fuck I wanted at 19 or for that matter 23. I still find it a bit weird she was into him then because like at 23 I was a TA and teaching 19 yos and certainly not thinking about marriage with their dumb asses but like I also didn’t fundamentally know what I want. I still don’t know that I do for sure and like my 20s are finished and done right but I’m still I suppose young and I don’t know for sure. I think Taylor not knowing is human and here I do think there’s some internalized misogyny. Boys are allowed to pick and choose right but if a girl isn’t happy with her first few choices somehow she’s the problem??? Nahhhh. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Ehhhhh.

also Taylor never flaunted Tom O’Dell lol to spite Harry wtf are you talking about bestie?? They were papped pretty organically on one date (I do think they had a few more) and he went on to release a song about her so like idk??? They went on some dates and it didn’t go anywhere????? That’s all that happened??????? He still released a song about it like years later which is objectively a bit weird.

idk guys I can’t tell you how many dates I’ve been on in my life and I’m younger than Taylor and like Taylor also spent a good chunk of my 20s in a serious relationship (mine started earlier and ergo ended earlier ages wise). There are a bunch of people - because I’m bi so like there’s no gender applicable - whose names I can’t even remember. Like first names. I don’t know dudes I can’t recall all of them. I’d be mortified if the press kept a record of that (and Taylor is tbh but also girl ur a public figure we’re allowed to).

I’m a huge Taylor fan and I’m not into this ask and its weird misogynistic like semi slut shaming vibes at all tbqh.

[lemonthepotato]

HELP WITH ENNEAGRAM

I was originally gonna post this on r/enneagram but changed my mind. Please help if you can. <3

Expressing yourself through song lyrics sure is cringy and edgy. Glad I didn’t do that this post. Also, yes, this post will be long asf too. Sorry, but I’m bad at compressing things. If you don’t want to read it, don’t. Go on. Do something else. I don’t blame you lol. I understand if you don’t want to read allathat. Idk I’ll prolly delete this. Maybe.

Some of this borders on yapping but I cut a lot of irrelevant shit.

Haha… 69. I’m just saying, a part of me really wants my tritype to be 69X. It would be funny. Sorry, I’ll grow up. One day. Also, here’s a cringy little slideshow. Hope you like it.

SO. The consensus last time was that I was either a 6 or a 9, so while I’m skeptical, I went to research the differences. Starting with RHETI.

Before you say “look at core motives” isn’t the whole point of core motives that they’re subconscious? I don’t think it would help.

(Yes, I’m serious about using RHETI. Sorry, it’s convenient.)

“These types are actually frequently mistyped. Sixes and Nines are both concerned with security and with maintaining some kind of status quo situation.” Uh, no, I hate the status quo. And I’m not sure what security even means. I mean, yeah, negative change makes me upset, but positive change is good. And my life is so boring that I assure you, the status quo is not what I am interested in maintaining. I need a change. I’m constantly striving towards a better, more action-filled life.

“They are both family-oriented, and both tend to take modest views of themselves.” Nope. I’m actually pretty anti-natalist, and have no interest in ‘starting a family.’ My mortality is my burden to bear, not any hypothetical child’s. I don’t care for my family either, they’re all corrupt. And ‘modest’… maybe. I put on, and have for many years, a false bravado, but on the inside, I think I am kinda modest? I’ve always been told my writing is amazing, but truthfully, I don’t think it’s very good compared to other authors. I think I have a bad-okay singing voice, better than some other people. My art is bad. I think I know my skills. People praised my baking, but I thought it was just meh. I always think people are lying when they compliment me, which isn’t often.

“In short, Nines like to remain easy-going and unflappable. Nines work steadily at their tasks, but show little sign of being upset by the day's ups and downs. Sixes, on the other hand, cannot easily disguise their feelings. They get more easily worked-up and rattled by mishaps.” Well I definitely lean six there. I mean, I can disguise my feelings easily, except my anger. It’s the only emotion I can’t hide, and I’m easy to piss off.

“While Nines can remain silent within their own inner peace, Sixes need to vent with others periodically to discharge their fears and doubts.” Leaning six there, but if I feel rejected then I don’t vent. The closest recently was when I complained in a gc about low-content authors saturating the market on KDP. I tend to take a very strong stance when stating an opinion, and I may or may not have said “I want them to shove their year planners up” andddd you can guess the rest. From an objective standpoint, I know there’s not much wrong with making low content books… my problem should more be focused on bots stealing from authors, but I just, I guess exaggerate my anger?

“Sixes are more obviously nervous and defensive when they believe there are problems. Nines remain strangely bland in the face of problems, although beneath the pleasant surface of average Nines, there is stubborn resistance and an unwillingness to be upset or troubled by conflicts or problems.” Lean six there. If someone pisses me off, I’m not gonna reject my emotions.

“tend to be suspicious of unknown people and situations–they need to test people before they let them get close. Nines may be protected by the disengagement of their attention, but they tend to be trusting of others–almost to a fault.” Nope, always been more six there.

“Of course, under stress, when moving in their Direction of Disintegration, Nines will begin to act out some of the behaviors of average Sixes, and for this reason, some Nines will mistype themselves as Sixes. But such periods of overt anxiety generally do not last long. As soon as possible, Nines revert to their more easy going approach to things.” Well… I don’t know. I mean, I’ve always been very reactive and angry.

Subtypes:

Sx6: Okay so, denying fear is a 50/50. If someone intimates me, I usually will fight back, but sometimes if they break me too much, I’ll break down. I definitely feel “you’re only as strong as you think you are.” But I don’t want to give off the idea that I’m strong physically, only emotionally. I’ve always been seen as weak, and to a degree, I want to give off that weak, broken, lonely persona so I can be saved, or at the very least, used by someone drawn to that kind of person. Because… I am kinda weak. And I don’t mind being used, because from experience, even though being used has always sucked, I’ve never felt lonely by them. I can relate to being stubborn. I view everything as a challenge.

“These characters walk around with the idea that anyone can become dangerous, so they do everything they can to not feel cheated, manipulated, taken advantage of, or attacked.” Yeah, maybe more so nowadays. When I’m out of the house, I’m constantly wary of people.

“Despite being aggressive as part of their effort to intimidate through strength, Sx Sixes tend not to acknowledge their aggressive side and may not be aware of it-or at least of the intensity of it.” Nah, I’m pretty aggressive and aware of it. I don’t think it was always that way.

“They also tend to separate their emotions: aggression is disconnected from fear, and sex is disconnected from feelings of love and intimacy.” Eh? Maybe? Not really tbh.

“They may have the illusion that they are spontaneous, but they tend not to be.” …Is this true for me? Idk, maybe.

“Sx Sixes tend to be very contrarian.”

Very true for me honestly. Sometimes I’ll argue even when I agree with people.

Sp6:

“They also have difficulty in looking at things as black and white, as they can see multiple shades of gray in between everything.” Depends.

“Seeing themselves as constantly at fault, they also feel persecuted: they project their internal persecution externally. It is a form of paranoid thinking which incurs the following: other people are always ready to catch your faults, attack you, and criticize you, and if they do not, it is only because it is convenient for them to hide their intentions at the moment to ensure they punch down the line.” Oh 100%.

“Self-Preservation Sixes fear anger, aggression, provocation, and confrontation. Being afraid of other people's aggression means they can't let their own aggression out.” I mean yes, but no. I don’t immediately resort to anger if I know the person is a loose cannon, but at some point, I have to protect myself.

“As the most phobic of the three Sixes, the avoidant Self-Preservation subtype equates love with protection, and in looking for love they search for a source of security to compensate for an inner sense of insecurity. This Six wants to find a strong person to lean on, and they many be excessively friendly and giving as a way of preventing an attack from outside. In order to feel the strength they are lacking, the Self-Preservation Six attracts the affections or protection of somebody strong-the more forceful presence of another helps them to feel safer.” I mean yeah. I guess I’ve flipped between sp6 and sx6 behaviours my whole life. I feel like the only way to be liked is to either be completely aggressive or completely submissive. Those are the only versions of me that “exist.” I just can’t tell which is real.

So6: “Consciously or unconsciously, Social Sixes fear the disapproval of authorities and believe the way to be safe is to do the right thing as determined by an authority. And knowing what the right thing is means having clear rules that tell you how you should think and act.” Kinda. I’m just saying, it wouldn’t be hard to trick me into joining a cult, that’s all really.

“Social Sixes have an intolerance of ambiguity. They fear ambivalence and have little tolerance of uncertainty, because to them, uncertainty equals anxiety. As a result, they have a love of precision and see things more in terms of black and white than gray.” Kinda.

I don’t fear making mistakes.

Sx9: “Sx Nines unconsciously express a need to be through another- to gain a sense of "being" they don't find inside themselves through fusion with somebody else.” Yeah, but it’s not unconscious… anymore.

“These Nines feel a sense of loneliness or abandonment that seems like it can only be filled by another person, whether or not they realize it consciously.” True.

“The problem inherent in this stance, of course, is that true union- a real relationship between two people - requires that both people stand on their own feet before coming to meet each other.” Oh see, that kinda gave me a chill… no. I don’t want to be alone, ever. I don’t think I can be alone. I don’t like it.

“Sx Nines tend to be very kind, gentle, tender and sweet. They are the least assertive of the Nines.” 👎 nuh uh. I mean again, if it was in a context where I fully trusted someone then yeah but nuh uh.

“Sx Nines may also share central concerns with Type Twos in that they can lack a solid sense of self and then look to their important relationships as a way to find self-definition or a sense of identity. Twos differ from these Nines, however, in that they focus more attention on constructing an image. Twos also usually enjoy being the center of attention, while this is much less comfortable for Sx Nines.” I mean yeah, I love attention and always have, but no one in the last post suggested 2, so it’s unlikely I’m a 2. Maybe sp2, but still, I don’t think so. Maybe? Maybe not. Maybe…

Sp9: Basically sx9 but if their partner was a potato chip. Also, I might be a black and white thinker considering my dad just said he was making breakfast or lunch and my first thought was “well, it’s one or the other.” Sorry, not related.

Reading this is basically just how I acted from 2018-2021. Not a good time in my life. I don’t like being alone. I haven’t “resigned” myself to not finding love, my whole logic in those four years was “well, when I’m 18, I’m gonna work hard for the rest of my life, so I should enjoy these years before I can’t do it anymore.” which consisted of barely being able to leave the bed. So fun.

I mean no, I don’t use physical activity to create a self. Maybe through my work, but I don’t like slacking off, so maybe not.

Oh yeah, someone suggested I might be a 1 in the last post. The only 1 subtype I even closely relate to is the old version of sx1. Core type? Sure, to a degree. But idk. Most people said either 6 or 9 so I’m not sure. And 9w8 > 9w1 at that degree.

I don’t relate much to the core of 2. It’s more that I want to be looked after than looking after others. I feel the only way to serve others is to improve my appearance and serve them through giving myself to them. As for 3, I really related to a degree, but no one else agreed, and honestly, maybe you’re right. Not a 4, I’m nowhere near having enough of an identity to be a 4. 5 just makes no sense to me. 7 makes a lot of sense to me but I don’t relate to ignoring negative emotions. I’m not confident enough to be an 8. I guess that leaves me with 6 and 9, along with maybe 2 as an option. Maybe 3.

I think 9 is unlikely, honestly, so let’s narrow that to 6, 2 and 3. Definitely had a lot of sp2 behaviours as a kid. Lmao, I was gonna say “but honestly, I didn’t feel entitled cuz I did anything, just for existing” and that’s literally the next paragraph written about sp2. I’m not gonna fall into the trap of relating to subtype over core type, because I don’t really relate to the core type of 2. Maybe when I was younger. I remember when my parents argued, I would try and mediate things, because I didn’t like it, but I just got yelled at. I would also sometimes do things for others to get validation, but I don’t remember if it was a core trait.

Wanna hear a fun fact? Growing up, my mom fell for an MLM, so me and her went door to door shilling makeup products… yep, she used a little young innocent me who was acting very friendly to the people there, for some reason, to shill products. I don’t know why I was so friendly to those random people. To prove myself?

See I relate to 3, but no one agreed with that in the last post, so maybe not. I do relate to cultivating a persona and hiding negative traits. It’s why these posts are so hard to make. But, I’m not exactly GOOD at getting attention. I mean, growing up, I wasn’t very well liked even if I wanted to be popular. I’ve always wanted to be famous.

Six is complicated because I can relate to the core to a degree, but none of the subtypes, or 50/50 on each subtype. Nine is just… I don’t see much 9 in me.

Anyway, uhh, what else should I say? This post has dragged on long enough. If you want to read my other type me post, it’s like, the post before the last post on this account I think. It’s also very long.

Oh yeah, I had another brief friend that destroyed my trust by telling me to end my life by insulting me using insults based on the things I vented to him about. Hence once of the many reasons I have trust issues. That guy was very fucked up though. Tried stabbing his dad n shit. Pressured me into doing weird shit. Fucked shit man. Anyway. That’s all.

Ok, that’s all.

…I thought this would be shorter. Anyway, I guess if you have any questions/need elaboration, comment. Again I’m very sorry this post is long, I suck at compressing shit.

If the consensus is 9 again, then I’ll just accept that I was in ~DeNile.~ 😅 I just don’t think I’m calm enough.

Idk I’ll probably delete this post. It’s just- I’ve tried figuring it out on my own and it’s very difficult.

Edit: This post is old (5 months old) and I doubt I’m a 9. I was torn between 3 and 6 when I wrote this, then I got torn between 4 and 6. 4 and 6 have been the most consistent parts of my typing, so I settled on 4. Sometimes I wonder if I’m a 5 due to this but I have a very strange relationship with type 5? It was the type I questioned the least except for 8, and like, I never had any valid reason to deny it other than not ‘feeling’ like a five and the only type I considered was sx5 very briefly. I could go more in depth but 9 is very unlikely now. Also I don’t use wings anymore, at least the way people use em.)

[rosequartzgirly]

SHIFTING IS THE LAW OF ASSUMPTION, THE LAW OF ASSUMPTION IS SHIFTING

This is going to be a long ass post about shifting and law of assumption, my experience and my thoughts on it. If you are into these things, please read it. It may help you, motivate you or even let you know law of assumption and shifting better. <3

i’ve been in my shifting journey for a year and a half now, and what i can tell you is that shifting is the law of assumption and the law of assumption is shifting.

you can’t use one without using the other one.

why am i saying this? well, imagine you like a person. you like a person so much and you just want them to like you back, but at the moment they’re dating someone else and they are so in love with the one they are dating.

what can you do? can’t you manifest their love? ofc you can! but you aren’t damaging anyone, you are not making them stop loving the other person, you are just becoming aware of a reality where they are in love with you. and how is becoming aware of another reality called? shifting!

it is possible, completely. i did it myself.

when you really want something, the only thing you have to do in order to get it, it’s accept the fact that you already have it.

MY EXPERIENCE

the first time i got into manifestation it was December 2021. During that month i really liked a boy, i used to say i was in love, my whole world revolved around him and he didn’t seem to like me back. he liked another girl and we didn’t talk much, never tbh.

but yk what? i wanted him anyway.

during december 2021 manifesting went viral on tiktok, i saw many videos so i tried it myself.

i used to record some random videos with random audios and then text in the description “he will text me and we will chat frequently”.

of course those audios worked just bc i thought so, so i began to think that he liked me.

what happened then? one night, out of nowhere, he texted me just to tell me he wanted to know me better and we started talking all days and all nights.

in one month we started dating.

it was that easy, i manifested his love.

now, why did it worked?

just because i thought so! idk why, but at some point i was so sure he liked me back that my desire eventually became real.

my 4d reflected in my 3d, i became aware of a reality where he liked me.

HOW CAN THIS BE RELATED TO SHIFTING?

let’s start from the beginning.

i discovered shifting in 2020, but before summer 2022 i never actually tried.

when i discovered it, it was on tiktok, and people used to say you had to count till 100 and imagine to be on a train or something to shift. tbh, i can’t blame antis bc they didn’t believe it, since i didn’t believe it myself and it sounds stupid af.

i thought it was something magical and it wasn’t true at all, but ofc i would’ve like it to be true.

one day, on summer 2022, i saw a video on tiktok and it was one of those videos from kpop shifter. it seemed so interesting so i just decided to learn more.

it was the day when i started my shifting journey.

at first, i didn’t understand anything abt shifting.

i thought methods were needed, meditation was needed, being in the journey for years was needed but actually nothing is needed.

i know you’re probably tired of hearing what i’m going to say, but i’ll do it anyway.

YOU ONLY NEED YOURSELF.

and you need to understand that. i mean, truly, fully understand that.

you don’t need to reprogram your mind, you don’t need to stay still in bed without moving any muscles ( even if it can help reach the void 😭 ) and you don’t have to attempt everyday to shift.

YOU NEED YOURSELF AND NOTHING ELSE, PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT.

you want to shift? perfect, just tell yourself before going to bed you intend to wake up in your dr tomorrow, and believe in what you’re saying, and you will be in your dr when you wake up.

it’s that easy.

Here some shifting-related things and how they work :

🎀 Symptoms : they do not exist at all. i know some people on shiftok decided to FUCKING WAKE UP and started to tell “some shifting symptoms are signs that you’re body is falling asleep” but it’s not like that. i mean, yeah some shifting symptoms are just hypnagogia symptoms but that doesn’t mean the others are shifting symptoms. SYMPTOMS FOR SHIFTING DO NOT EXIST. when you manifest something, do u feel your body floating? do u feel yourself spinning? do u feel your “surrounding changing”? of course u do not! bc manifestation is INSTANT such as shifting is, since they are THE EXACT SAME THING.

🎀 Methods : methods are actually not shifting methods, but meditation method. when you do a method you’re just meditating, those things like count till 100 exist just to help you focus on your desires. so, in fact, methods are helpful to reach the void state, then you affirm ( you MANIFEST ) and then your manifestations reflect on your 4d and that’s how you shift.

🎀 Why is shiftok so demotivating? And why most of the “shifter” there don’t actually shift? Just bc they don’t know what shifting really is, they don’t understand that shifting is the law of assumption. They even try to “use the law of assumption” to shift explaining as if those were two different things. It is so demotivating bc PEOPLE DONT KNOW WHAT SHIFTING IS, THEY DONT BASICALLY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. 😭😭

hope this helped you somehow, let me know if you have something to ask. <3

[dotnoir]

i’ve never wanted to break up more than right now.

i just know this is going nowhere. i don’t actually see myself in 20 years with this man, I can’t even guarantee 5 years.

he just doesn’t understand me. doesn’t do enough. not driven enough. stagnant. painfully cis and hetero and white. that fact was once so attractive to me and now it’s just so fucking annoying. opposites attract, but only if thr magnetic field is strong enough. if the magnetism is weak, the opposites will recoil.

this is the recoiling. i’m having more and more trouble lately with deciding which of my feelings are worth explaining in layers to him, and i continue to deduce a pyrrhic victory, so i abstain. it’s exhausting. the beauty of having a partner and someone that gets you is someone that knows. you just look at them and they know and you know. …he doesn’t know. we have so little in common now. mostly the dog. ok, primarily the dog. some tv shows. good food. but that’s about it.

we’re not lovers. we don’t make love. we don’t fuck. we don’t cuddle. we don’t even put our tongues in the other’s mouth. we pop-kiss and hug and punch each other’s butt and bite knees and arms. we’re comfortable roommates that share a king-sized bed with a dog between us.

we haven’t had sex in months, not once since 2023 began. last year we had sex maybe 3 times. the year before that maybe 4. the year prior, maybe 6. and then 2019 was when we met and fucked like rabbits. but maybe we got it all out of us? idk. oh, right, i wanted to get kinkier and he wasn’t interested. i literally wanted anal because of enjoyment with past partners—he would get flustered and unenthused about my proposition. somehow how i got the moronic cisgender straight man that opposed their hot girlfriend begging for anal sex with toys at the ready so many times, she finally rued the constant painful and embarrassing rejection. i just remembered it took him over a year to ever eat me out, which also came after maaaaanyyyy conversations and practically begging…when i remember these things, i remember why the flame went out.

strange that i had more and better sex when i was single. but toxic sex with emotionally unavailable guys was like heroin in my early twenties. such a great high until reality comes crashing down.

i’m just not attracted to him anymore. he doesn’t look like he did when we first met—and neither do i—but i’m still hot. he buzzes his salt and pepper head every 10 days so it’s always just partially grown out, wears the same shitty Dahmer-esque black nerd glasses from four years ago, solely works out his arms and nothing else which does nothing for his strange, flabby physique, has spaced out yellow teeth that he rarely brushes, a disheveled overgrown black, grey, white, and red beard with a matching unkempt red handlebar mustache that he twists with his fingers every few minutes.

he doesn’t do anything that inspires romance. any time he does refer to sex, it’s as a half-assed joke. he has accepted that i’m not interested and believes he’s done “everything” to make advances, even though i can list a dozen things he hasn’t done. simple gestures that men in the 80s could’ve done.

rent a hotel room and have rose petals and candles. fuck renting, he could literally set it up at home. a picnic with my favorite snacks. a planned scavenger hunt. things that don’t even cost a lot, just takes a semblance of time and thought and consideration. but that doesn’t happen.

he just plays video games in his self-described “office” (see: man-cave with PC and mountain of beer cans and whiskey bottles) from ~10am till midnight or 3am or 4am on nights where he has the next day off. he’ll pop out to stretch his legs every few hours and uses that opportunity to “check” on me and the dog. when we try to watch stuff together at night after his full day of gaming, he falls asleep within the first 10 minutes of a program. and that’ll be the extent of us spending time together. pathetic.

i keep thinking about noah. andrei. my two favorite past lovers. noah and i are meant to be together in another universe. just the memory of our escapades causes involuntary kegels. the other night i had a sex dream about him and feared i said his name in my sleep with E right next to me…

i’ve been in restless and relentless spring cleaning mode all week: got rid of the growing black mold in both showers, went grocery shopping, deep-cleaned and reorganized the fridge, reorganized the cabinets and drawers in the kitchen, dusted and swept the house, watered the plants…and he offered to help when i would nearly complete a task 🙄

i’m just so sick of him tbh. i have no desire to even pretend we’ll be together in the future. three and half years has been enough. i need to end it.

but the thought of moving and finding a roommate stresses. me. out. i wish i could just live alone in this house, but it’s too big for one person. ah, the common plight of those in a cohabitation…ending it with ease and with little expense. surely i’ll have to snag a second job to afford living alone. can’t determine if living with a partner is cheaper than living single since i pay for everything 🤪 that just means the transition shouldn’t upend me financially…can’t say the same for him. can’t wait to say that’s no longer my problem. ok it’s settled. i need to do it. i need to find somewhere else to live and save up and get a second job and get everything squared away to move. i can do it. i’ve done well on my own and will continue to do so.

it’s time to trim the fat.

[theangryjikooker]

At the risk of angering the entire OT7/BTS fandom…you mentioned what you think the TRUE nature of their relationship is like. Can you expand?

I'm literally a casual fan, not ARMY. I like the guys and I even randomly saw them in concert once years ago, before they got super huge with Dynamite and such (this was in 2018…? I didn’t even know who BTS was, I went with a friend). As such, I have my own theories on their actual dynamic that sometimes will come out in those rare, non-posed, moments. The whole thing is heavily scripted, right? That’s just the truth of show business, but every once in a while…IDK. You can SEE something.

It’s just really interesting but you can’t bring it up to most ARMYs because it really seems to upset them. Would love to hear even a brief overview of your thoughts/theories.

Not to sound like an airhead, but I don't recall saying anything of the sort with any real emphasis. I sometimes reference the "true" nature of OT7 in the sense of us never really knowing them. I do feel like a lot of people are misunderstanding their present dynamic, especially as this second chapter unfolds more aggressively, because I get the feeling others think they're not as close anymore since they don't always have cameras following them around and are, unsurprisingly, rather private about their personal lives. The lack of content is forcing people to fill in the space with what they think is happening, rather than it stemming from anything factual.

I know I've referred to this matter more specifically in reference to Jikook, but I've been staving off inquiries about it as there is a monstrosity of a post coming about that whole topic. But it also happens that I had to discuss this relationship among BTS as a whole, so you'll see it there when it's released.

As far as being scripted, the short answer is: yes and no. This fandom (and I assume many others as well) have a habit of taking the first information available and running with it without actually thinking. I do think the members can sometimes play up their dynamics, which is where I think that "scripted" feel comes from, but I don't think it's disingenuous either.

An example that perhaps you or anyone can relate with and is easy to digest: if you are or have been in a relationship, sometimes you might really oversell your affection to your partner. Maybe you're just in a playful mood or experiencing an unprompted urge to be a complete ham, even if this is atypical for you. Does that mean you're faking it and you don't really feel that way about your partner? How a feeling manifests and how it's acted upon might be exaggerated, but it doesn't mean there isn't merit to it. I think OT7 will sometimes behave a certain way, especially when they're on stage, but I don't believe it's entirely groundless. (And this isn't meant to be perceived from a romantic standpoint, but it was the first example I could think of that gets my message across.)

I'm not really going to go into it since you didn't ask about it specifically, but there's a really good example off the top of my head about Jikook and fan service. It was a recent revelation that I'm sure many in the community will know exactly what I'm referring to, but the dialogue among non-Jkkrs and/or antis that happened after the discovery was probably one of the more egregious instances of brainless thinking I see that happens in this fandom.

[we-survive-endlessly]

top 5 shows

top 5 manga

top 5 video essays

top 5 drinks (alcoholic or otherwise)

top 5 places youve visited

top 5 days of your life

(^thats a lot... oops. feel free to choose whichever are interesting;; i wanna know the reasoning behind your choices if theres any though)

Oooh FUN omg

Okay so I don’t really watch video essays (that I can think of) but I’ll try to answer the others! This could get lengthy so answers are below the cut!

Top Five Shows

Friends - This is my comfort show. I’ve had it on at night while I sleep every night for over a decade. My sister and I quote it constantly and it just never gets old for me. (It’s literally in as I’m typing this 😂)

Supernatural - I genuinely loved almost this entire show! Except for the shitty ending they gave it. It’s funny and dark and all of that fun stuff.

Criminal Minds - I binged this entire show in like a month and a half. That’s fifteen fucking seasons my dude. Anyways I love Spencer a lot 🥰

Rizzoli and Isles - Listen I love a good case of the week show. And one with two female leads that are complex and well developed? Even better!

Hawaii Five-O - Same as the above but with male leads! I love the relationship between Danny and Steve so much.

Honorable mentions to Teen Wolf, The Office, and How I Met Your Mother!

Top 5 Mangas

Okay so I honestly haven’t read a lot of manga. I think I read some of Peach Fuzz when I was younger. And I know I borrowed a series from a friend in high school about a kid with black wings, but that’s pretty much it 😬👍

Top 5 Drinks

I love a little drink omg

Any lemonade, but especially blackberry lemonade

Sprite (alone, mixed with lemonade, or malibu)

Egg Nog (has to be dairy free now but I still love it)

Hard Cider (plain or flavored)

Root Beer

Top 5 Places I’ve Visited

I admittedly haven’t been many places, but here we go!

Mount Vernon, Virginia - Not because of the house or that it was owned by George Washington, but because of the LAND. It is so green and right on the water and was just so beautiful. I went there 14 years ago and I still think about it.

Museum of Natural History - I wish there was a museum of that caliber near me omg 😭

Monterey Bay Aquarium - Huge, stunning aquarium with beautiful fish and a fun gift shop? Sign me up!

The local apple farms that my friends and I visit every fall - fall vibes with apple treats and hard cider like how can you say no

This route that my friends and I take when we are driving at night listening to music - it’s back roads in the country and the night sky is so beautiful

Top 5 Days Of My Life

A lot of what comes to mind are concert related 😅

Seeing Kingdom in concert and meeting them - It was my first kpop concert and I couldn’t have picked a more perfect one. I’d never been around that many kpop fans (I only have one irl kpop friend) and everyone was so wonderful and kind and welcoming. The members of Kingdom were all super sweet and I still can’t believe I’ve met them.

Seeing Marianas Trench in concert the first time - Absolutely jaw dropping. They sound just as good live and the artistry is insane.

Seeing Queen in concert with Adam Lambert - Absolutely legendary. Like idk what else to even say.

Scoring my first goal in soccer as a child - I just remember running to my dad and hugging him. We actually have a picture of that moment. (Also scoring a goal after using a move on someone that I spent weeks practicing)

When I adopted my dog Rizzo - Instead of a car for my 16th birthday I wanted a puppy. I couldn’t believe when my parents actually let me get one. Today marks one month of her being gone and I miss her every day.