been thinking a lot abt fwb!gojo today.... this is his first time ever doing this kind of a thing btw. i do not think he sleeps around AT ALL. but with you, he just... you start off as very good friends but then it keeps escalating – you start sitting closer and closer, your thighs always touching as you lounge on the couch. his hands seem to always find your waist in public, your seem to be in his hair more and more. and the thing is... satoru isn't all that good at deciphering his own feelings. he isn't entirely sure what this is; the butterflies in his stomach whenever you laugh at his jokes, the warmth that spreads under his skin whenever he sees you bend over. it's weird. he doesn't know what to do.
so, when one night you inch closer with your hand on his thigh, he lets you. he welcomes you with open arms. you ask whether it's okay or not and he lets out a shaky yes, his cheeks burning with something new, his eyes low and heavy as he stares at your lips. you feel so good on top of him, your body flushes to his and he thinks about how perfect this is. how much he likes it. the night is like a wet dream for him, something he's always dreamed off but when you leave the bed and hop into the shower without giving him a kiss, he doesn't even know what the weight on his heart means. where it comes from. he doesn't ponder over it for too long though as you step outside the bathroom in a shirt way too big, his shirt. he watches you get dressed and hums when you joke about his bed hair. he thinks you look gorgeous. he doesn't ask for you to stay – if this is what you want, to leave without the desire to continue your adventures from the last night, then so be it. satoru wants you to be happy. you tell him it was good and that you'd like to, perhaps, do it again and he can taste you on his tongue when he says that he feels the same. satoru will take every crumb you'll give him with a smile on his face. he won't complain and he won't ask for more, not yet at least. for now, he'll be completely and utterly at your mercy, a lapdog for you to play with whenever you so desire to do. a selfless kind of love.
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Regional at Best is so special because it feels so exactly like what it is, which is an album made by a young person, younger than I am now, who'd given up everything else to make this dream work and probably had no idea what the hell he was going to do if it didn't. Keep working a normal job? Go back to college? What do you do if the dream doesn't work, when you're an early-20-something who (like all early-20-somethings) has precisely nothing else figured out? What do you do if everyone's right and the art isn't worth it?
Then your bandmates leave. But actually, it turns out perfect anyway, because you end up with this other guy who also has precisely nothing else figured out and no plan B except to be in this very band with you. How rare and precious of a thing that is, to meet someone who believes in your art just as much as you do. At least if you fail you fail together, right?
I think RAB feels like the end of summer and growing pains because it exists in that same itchy, anxious space as your last summer before you graduate high school/college, when it begins hitting you that there will never be a summer like this again because next year you're supposed to be grown up. But the truth is you never figured out how to grow up and you never figured out how to stop dreaming. So many people have to learn that lesson for various reasons, but Tyler and Josh never did because they believed in it so much that I think it truly never could've failed. Even if they never got as big as they did w/ Blurryface, I think they never could've failed because they are for the dreamers.
Self-titled is complicated and beautiful and core to everything else they would do after, but RAB is the beating heart of what tøp was always meant to be imo. It's embracing the fear of getting older because you have no other choice, while acknowledging you're still a little afraid of the dark. It's a night light for the grown-ups who are still scared of long dark hallways they can't see the end of (and work email chains). You turn 23 and discover you probably don't actually want to die as much as you used to, and also that you still think pokémon cards are fucking rad, and both of those things are okay. And maybe you'll never get out of this goddamn town but it never hurts to dream
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I want a dad so bad I’m going to cry and throw a tantrum. I don’t want to be an adult, I want to stop thinking and be taken care of like a kid & feel safe and cared for again
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imma be real with ya'll sometimes i feel like i don't belong in the Wanda loving fandom cause most of you are wlw and im like... just trans and into older women idk does this make sense? like i feel like an outsider sometimes but if i don't write my wanda fics wlw then people won't read it :(
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almost 2am here so rambling time but gah
i miss my literary analysis classes. i miss that writing group i was invited to years ago. i miss just going absolutely nuts over a text. i miss discussing writing, characters. i miss the feedback. i miss getting excited hearing an older lady's memoirs on soviet-era nuclear plants. i miss the exciting stories of an irish immigrant. i miss the beautifully written, soul-touching tales full of mythos from a hawaiian woman. i miss having someone listening to me reading my stories, patiently waiting for me to go through the motions, only to tell me things that they found exciting or enjoyable in my text.
above all, i just miss the sense of community. the connection. finding beauty in all sorts of art forms. being alone in a foreign country, with relatively niche interests is just.. a lot sometimes
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I’m sorry it’s been a minute since I posted a ST fic guys… just with the way the fandom has been I truly haven’t felt inspired to write for Eddie or Steve lately. It actually makes me very sad, but I think I just need a little break from writing about them… It’s not forever and I’m definitely still going to post ST stuff, and reblog fics. But I understand if you unfollow me because you don’t wanna see stuff for other fandoms, that’s totally fair.
-xoxodolly
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i'm always playing a game of "am i intimidating or have i been receiving pity compliments my whole life or do i just have a shitty personality or what am i lacking exactly"
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