#idk i just feel like they Can’t be trusted
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Trafalgar D. Water Law; Ideal Type Deep Dive
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The first thing that comes to my mind is that audio - “ I need to find my darling husband!” “What do you see in that guy?” “He makes me laugh.”
Law absolutely needs to be with someone who can make him laugh.
Throughout the post time skip arcs, it has been shown that Law -
Has a fear surrounding accepting and giving love
Believes that there must be a reason for earning love/giving love to someone
Law’s character had the most development in Dressrosa and Wano that could propel him towards healing with the defeat of Doflamingo, the revenge of Corazon’s death, and the closure statement that Sengoku says to him: “Don’t try to find a reason for someone’s love.”
Law has to heal first, or have a partner that will help him heal. To me, Law wouldn’t even think of committing to a relationship until the end of Dressrosa/Wano.
Law surrounds himself with goofy people, so it makes sense for him to fall for a goofy person.
This person would probably be on his crew as his trust issues wouldn’t allow for him falling for someone that has other loyalties that could easily be prioritized over him and end up betraying him.
Law is strict about subordinate dynamics, which is why you being on his crew may also hinder him from wanting to pursue something with you because he’s supposed to be your boss essentially.
Law would want someone that is smart, textbook smart like he is, but I also see this not being important if he truly runs into the ‘one’ that brings him the most peace.
I mean by that if you can’t hold and add to a conversation about idk the anatomy of the human body and the effects of a certain ailment, you’re not totally disqualified from his radar.
Someone who could hold emotional conversations with him is good. Even if he probably wouldn’t want the conversation. He’s kinda icky with feelings. Someone that could tell him how he feels, how they feel, and how that changes the context of whatever situation they are in. He needs someone like that.
I used to be opposed to the thought, but I believe Law needs someone truly soft. That means you could still fight if needed, but would rather not yk. It’s okay if you’re not out here swinging a machete trying to bloody the streets with your foes. That aspect of humanity that you have is something Law needs more prevalently in his life.
I remember reading an analysis of Law’s type and the creator said something similar to “Law needs someone who wouldn’t pull the trigger, just like Corazon didn’t.” I don’t know how much I agree with it but I think it’s worth mentioning.
Someone patient, but stubborn. Someone who is willing to wait for him to be ready to accept his feelings and won’t leave him when he makes a mistake (trust me he will make many mistakes in a relationship). Someone who also won’t be an idle figure in situations, you have an opinion and will voice it even if it doesn’t agree with Law’s perspective. You think the crew should help him on something rather than wait on the submarine and him go off alone? Tell him and make him listen, even if he shuts you down.
Law needs someone positive that can look at things with a glass half full mindset. Someone who looks at the rain and thinks about how the plants are getting water, someone who watches the snow fall but are commenting about how Penguin and Sachi are making snow angles and Bepo is really comfortable in the temperature. You even out his pessimism and bring light.
You’d have to get along with the other crew mates, especially Bepo too. Bepo is so important to Law, and if Bepo didn’t like you it already taints Law’s image of you.
You were always kind to him. Even before he invited you onto his crew, he identified your nature and could make a note about how you’re different from the majority of people he’s met.
Preferably, you’d be goofy, but not too loud. I feel like Law gets uncomfortable around those that are crazy extroverted- kinda like Luffy. Sometimes it reminds him too much of the Donquixote Pirates with all their flamboyance. That doesn’t mean if you have this quality you’d be off the list, he would just need it in smaller chunks or around the crew to be acclimated to it.
Grr, someone that ends up reminding him of Rosinante. Someone that Law knows is just a good person, regardless of their past.
If he asked you “why do you love me?” And you couldn’t give him an answer, you’re perfect.
He needs someone to be his safe space. Someone that could sit in his office while he works, content in the shared silence. Someone that he could ramble about his coin collection to without the worry of being judged. Someone that he could let touch his chest and have them run their fingers through his hair without worry that he’ll be harmed. Someone that will soothe him after he has a nightmare or read out loud to him until he falls asleep.
Someone that cares for him- this loops back to the stubbornness. Someone that tries to make him go to sleep, to make him eat, to make him take breaks from working. To make him live happily, something that he’s starved himself of truly ever since he was 10. He prolly won’t act like it, but you showing you care for him makes his heart bleed suffocatingly.
Someone that can show him how to love again and what it feels like to love again omg. The destruction of Flevance and the manipulation of the Donquixote Pirates so cruelly changed his perception of love.
Law wouldn’t want you to be a big shot in canon. If your bounty was rather substantial compared to his crew and him, or you had a crazy ability- it would make him worry awfully. He’d probably try to keep you out of harms way even more than he does with the rest of his crew.
Someone he can tell everything to and trust that they’ll keep it a secret.
Someone that likes the cold, likes the ocean. Living on a submarine as a pirate kinda requires this lol.
Omg imagine you’re from the North Blue too. He picks you up around the same time he does Penguin, Sachi, and Bepo. You’re one of the original members. The connection I feel like he would have with you would make him more willing to fall for you…
I feel like Law would like someone with longer hair. If he could watch them brush it, curl it around his finger, watch them create a hairstyle for the day. Small acts of domesticity in life.
Someone with large, doe eyes. He can see so much emotion through them, they hold so much weight. It reminds him of Bepo. (lol)
Someone aware of their own emotions and are in tune with their wants and needs.
I feel like he would fluster really easily if you had a gummy smile. Yk those big, pure smiles where the gums showed. When your eyes crinkly and your teeth are bared so naturally and without malice. It’s so beautiful to see.
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He’s so broken
Mwah 😽
#one piece#slowcatsisland#sci:headcanon#slowcats#op#one piece x reader#one piece manga#one piece anime#trafalgar law#trafalgardwaterlaw#trafalgar one piece#trafalgar op#trafalgar d law x reader#law x reader#law x you#law x y/n#law one piece#one piece law
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ppl saying the caitvi sex scene was rushed, came out of nowhere, and can’t understand why Vi went straight to fucking cait after what just happened with jinx is odd to me.
Vi blames herself for the problems in her life consistently, and violently. she hates herself for how things have turned out.
when cait walks into the cell, Vi is blaming herself out loud for “making mistakes and loosing everyone”. when cait tells Vi that she let her steal the keys to jinx’s cell on purpose, it’s straight up confirmation that what Vi thinks to be true, is wrong.
she hasn’t lost everyone, cait hasn’t changed beyond repair. It started in ep 6, when cait betrayed ambessa to help Vi and her family. then this moment in ep 8 showed Vi that cait loves and trusts her enough to finally put aside her hatred for jinx, and support Vi in whatever choices she makes.
idk how long the time skip was but judging by Vi’s hair it was probably somewhere between 6 months and a year. imagine thinking of the girl you love everyday, thinking she was lost to anger and hatred, and then seeing her again and slowly realising she isn’t gone.
Vi is a physical person, we see that all throughout the show. Whether she’s punching people or walls, throwing things, screaming, she lets her emotions out through physical motion. in emotional moments with cait, she’s always touching her. when she pushes her up against the wall in the brothel, when she’s stroking her face or her hands during intimate conversations.
so Vi responded to the confirmation and the surge of emotions it caused with kissing cait, and then doing the most physically intimate thing possible with her. cait showed Vi she was willing to fight for her, and Vi dropped straight to her knees for cait. because that’s the kind of person Vi is.
they weren’t fucking they were making LOVE 💔
sure it’s not exactly healthy behaviour, but it’s not out of character for Vi to act that way. look at how she acted with jinx in that very cell 5 minutes earlier. when she realised her sister wasn’t gone, she stopped “hating” her, instantly jumping right back into the older sister role.
and i don’t think Vi forgave it all right there, the last scene shows her and cait clearly still have some issues - Vi calling herself the dirt under caits nails is a clear indicator of how cait made Vi feel with her actions.
but the sex scene is totally in character for Vi, i don’t think it was bad writing, it’s just tragic.
i do agree, in the cell is crazy, Vi deserves better, she always has. but they’re in the middle of a war, and it was an emotionally charged scene. they’re not gonna pause and go all the way up to a bedroom to fuck when troops are on their way to kill everyone.
so i don’t think it was rushed, or out of nowhere. Vi deserves better, i’m not defending cait, but i feel like some ppl don’t get it 💔
#i could treat you better vi 💔#arcane rant#arcane season 2#arcane#vi#caitvi#caitvi sex scene#violet arcane
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kenjaku and shoko are the best jjk blorbos to have with you during your period btw . (bear with me for a second the great bloodletting just began and i’m in desperate need of comfort) like. they’re the Best. shoko is self-explanatory but i’m also convinced kenny knows your cycle by heart (they’re scarily observant + they’ve literally Been a woman before) and can tell you exactly how bad it’s going to be several days before. kenny is the period tracker blorbo. shoko is just very competent and sweet and really good at making the pain go away. i’ll give points to choso too because he would be intensely caring and protective + might be able to use blood manipulation to lighten your flow…
then we have suguru who’s always the best option but he doesn’t let you eat sweets because they’ll make your cramps worse so who needs him 🙏🙏
#period comfort hcs are my fav btw#this might be tmi but mine has been fucking Awful the last two times??? even tho they’re usually mild…..#this time it’s better though :’) i really hope i don’t have to go through that again oughh#anyway.#shoko is probably your safest bet because i don’t trust kenjaku not to use your period to their advantage somehow#idk i just feel like they Can’t be trusted#i do think they’re sweeter than usual during your time of the month tho#choso might seem like the best option but he would literally Not leave you alone and would ask so many questions#which is very sweet but i would cry bc of sensory overload#sugu is lovely sugu is great#he’s just . a little strict i think#he doesn’t mean to be he just literally can’t Stand seeing you in pain#he’d rather see you sulk bc you’re not allowed to eat ice cream#i need . them all#ari noises ✩#cw periods#tw periods#cw period
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just girly things: reading batman: dark victory and feeling nauseous every time harvey dent gets mentioned 🌸🥰💕
#i know he’s IN the narrative but he’s still haunting the narrative and i can’t handle it#he’s dethroned riddler as my fave rogue i fear#every time he gets brought up it’s like a knife to the heart#when jim says he misses him….#OUGH#when batman is being super despondent and more distant than usual bc he feels guilty for losing him :(#chasing him in the sewers and saying ‘I LOST YOU’ OUGHHH#when he says he almost trusted him with his secrets and that maybe trusting him would have saved him#every time he calls him a friend……#i literally can’t do this anymore it’s over for me i fear#dc#dc comics#batman#batman: dark victory#harvey dent#two-face#i had to stop watching the long halloween film bc i kinda hated how they characterised harvey and gilda but like#i really want to edit them + bruce and jim help#also i know TLH and DV aren’t the most accurate versions of harvey and his wife#but i’m enjoying them so far#the movie was killing me tho idk if i can make it through both parts lmaooo#the next The Batman needs a good version of harvey dent pleaseee i beg#idk if i have faith in them seeing how much they changed riddler tho :(#fantastic movie but questionable rogues characterisation#also i keep trying to watch the two-part BTAS episode about harvey dent#but every time i turn it on it just makes me sad LMAOOO
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#this question is very hard for me to answer so obviously I have to torment everyone else with it#cause like. like I can really see the potential in either answer. both are feasible#I will say. most realistically. to me. edwin first charles harder#because I think…..I think the reasoning behind the other way around usually tends to be about how edwin absolutely was slower to bond and#open up in general whereas charles hit the ground fucking running#but i don’t think that particularly applies to their romantic relationship#if you mean ‘fell for’ in a general sense rather than a romantic one then yes 100%#but that’s not what im talking about here#I have a few different reasons but generally I think edwin fell first because like… the way he attached himself to charles and accepted him#as his person and etc is so unlike him to do with literally anyone- especially at the point where they first met/the first years they knew#each other. charles just seems to have hit him as something very very special and irreplaceable quite quickly for him to open up the way he#did and change and flourish into a fully realized person because of how safe and worthy charles made him feel#he took to charles with an unusual amount of ease and trust and I think that says something about how charles struck his heart Early#whereas with charles… yes on one hand he did stay on the mortal plane largely because of edwin and absolutely would’ve been impacted by the#tender act of mercy that was edwin reading to him as he died so he wouldn’t be scared. that’s absolutely what got him to trust edwin and to#want to be with him and protect him and so on#but charles would still do that and be like that under intense platonic circumstances I think#but most importantly I just think charles fell harder. when he fell is less important to me here- more important is that by GOD that boy is#down so fucking bad and outright SAYS IT in so many ways that he doesn’t realize– the sheer amount he restates how he’s content so long as#he’s with edwin. how he doesn’t want to be anywhere where edwin can’t follow. would and Did go to hell and back for him. believes him#to be the kindest and most incredible person he’s ever met. prioritizes him above anything and everything. etc etc etc#that’s not to say edwin doesn’t feel a similar amount of devotion– but charles just. really loves him with his whole person. loves him as a#fact of his existence and a piece of his very soul#idk man. it just feels like he is so incredibly smitten and he doesn’t even know it.#like I said though I can see both options and give reasons for both options so this question EATS at me I GENUINELY don’t have a super#strong feeling either is absolutely correct. it’s so difficult to answer they’re both so smitten and have such a history and GRAHHHH#payneland#dead boy detectives#rambling#polls
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headcanon that as sophie ages, she gets more and more off-put by how she still looks twenty at some age past 40. the only wrinkles she has are smile lines and a barely-there crease between her eyebrows that never leaves. no gray hairs. it doesn’t feel like there’s any physical evidence of how much stress aged her too fast.
(maybe she dyes more grays into her hair to feel better about her reflection, the more time passes by. maybe, on bad days, she contours wrinkles into her skin with makeup. maybe the bad days get more frequent as she ages outside the human lifespan. maybe.)
#i feel like fitz and dex are the only friends of hers that really get it#since fitz understands more surrounding human cultures than most elves thanks to his firsthand experience in the search#and dex grew up with his mom’s romcoms#which would probably show some human perspectives on aging#and his mom explaining some things that didn’t quite make sense to Smol Dex#but i’ve always imagined sophie turning up on fitz’s doorstep in the middle of the night#with tears running down her face and saying she didn’t know who else to talk to about almost-immortality feeling so so so wrong as she#gets older. not necessarily just because he knows more about humanity than most of her group#but also because like. there’s some part of her that says ‘if he can help you through learning to be an elf at 12 maybe he can help you at#42 too’. and they’re cognates. and they’ve gotten old enough to set aside teenage grievances with one another#and i like the idea of them sitting on a couch together by lamplight and trying to navigate the cultural and personal differences#in how the two of them and humanity and the lost cities view mortality#and not really reaching a concrete conclusion. but rather. a conclusion that keeps the two of them sane until they reach triple digits.#and then they have the conversation again. and come up with a plan to stay sane in their triple digits. and the same thing pops up in their#thousands. idk man the whole thing screams trust down to the bone and that’s what they should have when the war is over#is there anything more Cognate than talking through wildly different fears surrounding the same thing that make both parties#super vulnerable??? down to how your minds work in the face - or lack of - death?#maybe so but i can’t think of them off top of my head#kotlc#sophie foster#kotlc headcanons#keeper of the lost cities
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someone who knows more about guilty gear than me tell me how faust would react if I gave him a hug and a kiss
#I do not trust my own interpretations of my f/os#I can’t even think abt them interacting with my ocs romantically other than#they kiss and blush and smile :)#everybody else has super interesting dynamics with their f/os#and I don’t feel like I do bc I don’t feel like i think that deeply abt them which makes me feel bad :(#I love them but I feel like I don’t really know them… idk!!!#that’s why I’m like so nervous sharing my writing abt them bc I feel like it’ll just be so out of character T_T
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starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal
#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept#i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them#if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens#i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it#i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut#it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair#my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking#if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back#if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off#ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal#but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends#i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens#and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too#since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out#i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now#now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that#i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly.#if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill#in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it#my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes#sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know???#but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested#i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore#i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world
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God I wish we knew more about what specifically was going thru Jason’s head after his fight with Bruce, because essentially his entire worldview has been collapsed. He’s spent the past however many years believing that Bruce is ultimately responsible for the pain that he feels, that the entire Batman thing does nothing but harm others, and that the only way he will “get better” is by killing Bruce.
Finding out that he was apart of Jokers plan all along, and that no, Bruce actually DOES care about him and regret what happened, and actively WANTS to make it right by working together with him has to be insanely difficult for him. By the time he shows back up in game to paint the red hood symbols and get ready to save Bruce, he’s figured out that Scarecrow is going to finish the plan and kill Bruce and that he actually…doesn’t want that. And from there on now Jason has to spend time trying to figure out who he is again.
Not only did Joker put ideas in Jason’s head, but Jason also has spend the past few years with one goal in mind, kill Bruce. As far as I know he hasn’t spent any extra time on a side gig or playing some video game that he likes lol. So he needs to find himself again and figure out how to trust his thoughts and ideas and try to free himself from the joker.
#I’m the dlc he’s obviously gotten himself a new outfit and is working essentially as a pre n52 red hood. though from the way Babs and Bruce#talk to Jason in game I feel he’d have a slightly better relationship with them#and by better I don’t mean besties with them or anything but that they are more sorta…tolerant of him?#like I think Arkham Bruce is weirdly more understanding of his villains and is capable of having a lot of sympathy for them and this#clearly extends to Jason given how even after all the fear gas and militia Bruce’s response to Jason is just: ur my son and I want to help#and Barbra is very willing to argue with Jason over what he’s doing but also still sympathetic and wants him to come home.#so anyway I think they are reaching out more with offers of help and genuine worry for him. but not only do their ideas of Justice conflict#but Jason is still Goong Through It and can’t bring himself to fully trust them again#and he also needs to figure himself out without any outside influence#and btw none of this is me saying Arkham Bruce is better than comics Bruce i think they’re both wonderful and interesting and I like both#Bruce’s responses to Jason in utrh and in ak. they r awesome and cool and interesting.#and they both suit the story they are in#I was kinda just rambling through this and idk what my point is 👍 but I love Arkham knight Jason#arkham knight#dc#my post
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*chants to myself that it’s midnight and i need to go to sleep*
#I am having ✨thoughts I shouldn’t trust✨#I just. get so annoyed sometimes I’m bad at conversations#and maintaining contact with mutuals#I feel like everyone is friends with everyone and I am not#maybe I’m not active enough#or interesting enough#maybe I need to message first idk#but I’m so scared to#because with every mutual I’ve become friends with#we just stop talking after a few months and idk why#it’s not even that we just switched fandoms or anything. we just stopped talking.#why can’t I keep friends#please I just want friends
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(NOT ATSV) my ideal miguel and miles friendship (bordering on enemies) dynamic is where Miles is sort of a Mean Girls figure where he’ll say the worst things to Miguel, who actually has no problems dishing that shit right back out, is usually too fed up or somewhere else mentally to reply. They fight a lot, more physically than verbally, usually in a slapstick comedy type of way. Miles is banned from Nueva York once a month and got a restraining order against Miguel in his own dimension. His parents fucking hate him and Miguel hates them right back. Rio has tried and failed to poison him via food and Jeff is considering hiring a hitman. Gabriel is beloved by them. Miles takes Miguel’s money at least twice a week to go spend it just because he can. Miguel has tried (and succeeded once) to get Miles sick with a future illness because he figured out the lesbian bar Miguel liked to perform at in drag. Miles has cried at least once in every room of Miguel’s apartment and Miguel has been confused on what to do each time besides an awkward hug and pat on the back. People are rightfully worried for Miles’s safety at least 80% of the time but when they aren’t they’re shaking their heads at the two’s antics. They need to be separated until they have a healthy “this is a grown ass man / this is stupid little girl i don’t like at work” relationship and it’ll take an act of god for either of them to realize their current one isn’t healthy at all and has extremely negative impacts on their mental state.
#i wanna write this so badly bc like . this type of relationship with adults as a kid when you can’t 100% trsut them and place your safety +#in their hands is sooo interesting to write esp considering Miguel’s past and what Miles is used to#which is dangerous fights from adults (his villains) but also the loving ones like his parents his neighbors ripeter and peter b etc#and this miguel (imo) wouldn’t hurt miles on purpose because he knows the pain BUT he also doesn’t realize some shit is pain-causing both+#mentally and physically bc yknow some abused kids grow into adults who subconsciously do similar shit#and for Miles and Miguel to finally realize beating the shit out of each other almost constantly and the negative back and forth (if miguel#feels like talking that day) is just. not a good thing#it’s sort of like the way i write pavitr and miles’s relationship regarding their fighting because it’s genuinely helpful but#can seem borderline awful and physically abusive to each other#peter b is so fucking worried sometimes bc he sees Miguel in a completely different way than other people. like he’s off in lala land#like. he’ll see this 15 year old stickbug of a kid fighting his buddy Miguel who has been known to kill#he’ll say some fights tou just can’t win Miles… and Miles is setting Miguel’s apartment on fire#like they have good moments. okay. trust me. but a toxic friendship like the kind you see that people take too seriously from a show like.#idk bluey. or some kids show like that.#spiderverse fans DNI ‼️‼️‼️🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾‼️‼️‼️‼️#not ship never ship don’t even tag is as such bc i’ll just delete the post#miles morales#spiderman#spider man#gabriel o’hara#rio morales#jefferson morales#miguel o’hara#m&m posts
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woke up thinking. about spiderbit. they r making me so sick and ill i’m gonna puke
#they’ve been through so much but they’re still capable of so much love#you know#they still find comfort in each other. no matter what’s going on that’s almost something they can count on—#that they’ll be able to come home to someone who loves them#i think about cellbit and his fucked up childhood a lot. and his early adult years in prison#and like holy shit#do you think he still can’t fucking believe that after all of that he just gets to have a happy marriage#do you think it’s almost a shock to him that he’s capable of it? that he can love this much and this easily#and roier has lost so many people. do you think he’s surprised by how easy it is to trust this one to stay#i sound insane i feel like i sound fucking insane#but idk#idk they just make me sooooo#auugghhh#frows up#qsmp
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Anxiety so bad my chest feels heavy
#crying too#wahhhh#it’s because I’m worried I got rid of my favorite plushies#which I KNOW I didn’t#but I’m having an irrational fear because I can’t check#I don’t like not making sure and I’m afraid#even tho I know my worrying is for nothing#idk I wish I could stop overthinking#I know he’s safe and I didn’t get rid of him I just need to trust my memory#I’m just so forgetful and I get anxious thinking I did something (like accidentally donate a beloved toy) when I actually didn’t#I wanna check to be sure but I can’t because my bin of toys is in a different place that I’m not near#I’ll be there soon but I don’t like sitting here worrying#I just want to know for sure and put my mind at ease :(((#for context I recently got rid of a bunch of my plush but my parents donated the give away bag before I could double check it#so now I’m scared#this was a while ago tho and I know I checked and checked again before filling the bag up#idk why it’s bothering me now#anyways sorry for the rant#getting my feelings out always helps#sfw interaction only#sfw agere#sfw age regression#age regressor#age regression#agere blog#agere positivity#quizzyrambles#Quizzyvents
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Every other day I get really scared and sad thinking about him breaking up with me and I know he isn’t (at least I think?) but I still feel like after a while he’s going to get upset with me for being the way I am
#this is dumb#i feel like an idiot#I guess yeah he isn’t gonna break up with me but deep down I feel like it#this is me assuming all people hate me deep down and just me not really trusting people#don’t take this the wrong way I trust him a lot#it’s just I’m scared there’s going to be signs and I can’t tell and I look stupid#idk what I’m saying anymore
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getting better at drawing when you’re not trying for realism is kinda funny bc it’s like wow now my art looks even MORE like the exact midpoint between old-school disney and late 2010s anime. i didn’t think it was possible and yet i’ve done it again. inspiring
#and soon? even More.#there’s also the additional layer of not being able to explain what about my art is better than it used to be#like idk what to tell u it’s just better now. all my old stuff is crap compared to this. leaps and bounds#source: dude trust me#tbh i think my artistic abilities probably seem much more consistent from an outside pov#bc i never want to draw anything i can’t draw#like if i TRIED to draw that cuteguy stoplight drawing a few months ago it would have looked terrible#but i wouldn’t have tried bc i wouldn’t have wanted to bc i couldn’t you see#that’s the thing about art it never feels any easier#if you start out frustrated by your skill falling short of your vision guess what#your vision will continue to improve as you gain skill and that frustration never goes away#but it also never feels any harder#my first experience with drawing was being pleasantly surprised to find my skill slightly exceeded my aspirations#(i was 3 and my aspirations were draw a duck)#and you know what. to this day the pleasant surprise remains#what i’m saying is dream small stay in your comfort zone and do not strive for great things#cannot recommend complacency enough#this isn’t sports you don’t get gains through effort you get gains and then the effort happens on accident#don’t listen to me i probably don’t know what i’m talking about#but i AM having more fun drawing than you so maybe i’m onto something#impossible to say#i’m certainly not smart enough to figure that out i’m an idiot have you seen the kind of advice i give#mumbling
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i want my humanity back
#i don’t wanna be an object#or feel like i have to be anything but human#but the more i sink into my humanity the more petrified i am realizing what happened to me#i really didn’t deserve any of that :(#that shit messed me up so fuckin bad man#I’ve lost count how many times *that* esp has happened im just so tired#idk how to be myself#idk if i ever can#i feel like i get punished for ever trying to trust#i feel like i have to lock myself away#not because i want to but because im not safe unless i do#i just want to feel safe :(#i pray so much for it#but I can’t expect Her to fix my brain#idk if I’ll ever enjoy living again#I want to but im so scared#Death is the only comfort I know#but I always fail#it’s okay :(#todo estará bien#ojalá q sea así
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