#idk i just dont know anymore
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I need to just shut up forever
Idk if Dad has good news at the doctor I'll try talking to mom
#maybe ill study stupid vard booklet again#so hard for me tho i learn theiugh my hands readinf dowsnt go in why am i so fuxking stuoid lmao#fuck fuck fuxk i want bash my fuxking skull in#wish could just not have to do a driving test like fuxj that also makes me anxious#wish i xould just ride a bike or feel safe at night than i can just get a job and fucking idk#im gonna admit it nowndidnt yesterday but i want to fucking die fucking rot#idk i just dont know anymore#i want a drink#if someone does read this ill be okay#normally am#im struggling so bad with emotions idk how feel towards anything
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They sicken me
#jei poopy art#my art#art#transformers#suggestive#<- i think??? idk#THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LISTEN TO MANESKIN ON LOOP#transformers one#d 16#d-16#orion pax#orion pax fanart#dpax#Transformers one orion#transformers one d 16#transformers d16#d 16 x orion pax#d 16 fanart#tf one#tf one 2024#tf one orion pax#tf one d 16#i spent too long on this :(#they have NO personal space#absolutely 0 personal space#not even bros anymore just gay#they dont even know it#jei freaky art
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aro/ace themed valentine's day teddy bears ^^ because i just recently found out i might be arospec but also just cuz like..... why not
#this may be out of character for me because just a few weeks ago i strongly disliked valentine's day lmao#now that i know im probably some kinda flavor of aro? i.. dunno how to feel#how i feel about the holiday is complicated#while i still dont like the romantic aspect of it.. at least i dont find myself rolling my eyes at valentine's themed stuff as much anymore#idk maybe i'll go back to disliking the holiday next year who knows lol#i guess its just the catharsis i suppose..#aromantic#asexual#aroace#aspec#arospec#lgbtq#valentine's day#valentine's#teddy bear#digital art#art#toby draws things
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working at a grocery store has only made me even angrier about inflation and how food, water, and shelter isnt free
like just looking at groceries (not water or shelter) i see just a few bags (maybe around 5 or so) of food costing over $125 USD regularly. I've seen orders upwards of $600. and sure those have been bigger orders but no food should cost that much.
my coworkers and i shouldn't be complaining about the price of food when we get employee discounts.
a single bag of food for myself (usually containing some small pizzas, crackers, milk, and cereal) regularly costs between $50-60. minimum wage in my state is 15/HR. thats about four hours of work for one bag of food
a coworker who works on the front end of our store prides herself on being able to catch theives. everyone says how good she is at it. and sometimes it makes sense, sometimes people are just stealing to steal. but how do you ever know?
when the card reader we take outside is broken we are supposed to have the customers come inside to pay for their groceries if they're paying with EBT. there's a woman who's a regular who has a few small children and when she comes to pick up groceries they're usually asleep in the car.
am i supposed to make her choose between leaving her children alone in the car or waking them up and taking them inside?
four hours of work for one bag of groceries. is this not also theft?
four hours of work. let that sink in. four hours for one small bag of groceries.
we aren't supposed to accept tips but if we don't accept tips then how else are we supposed to afford our groceries?
i haven't seen a single person stealing food. you cannot steal whats already stolen.
although im no longer a christian, the teachings of my childhood have stuck with me, and in the bible it says "When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Leave them for the poor and for the foreigner residing among you."
society has reaped right up the the very edge and beyond of its fields, so it's up to us to reap what we can
four hours of work for one bag of food
#kitty talks#idk what to tag this as#im just so fucking mad#no one can afford to eat anymore#all of our money is going towards constant genocides#food should be free#water should be free#shelter should be free#i dont even know if this post is coherent im just *angry*#no one should have to beg for basic necessities#there's a poem in this somewhere#theres a poem in the woman with the few months old baby who had to come in to take stuff off her order#because WIC didnt cover it all
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saw a take so fucking rancid on twitter i almost deleted the entire app from my phone jesus fucking christ
first of all ao3 is an archive site. this is like going to the library and saying "oh i dont like this" on every piece of media you find that you dislike and thinking they should be stamped with some sort of a marker just cause you didnt like it
you can always click back and leave. fic writers owe you nothing to explain themselves and their creations. if they have mistagged or miscategorized fics, then i understand, however there are report tools for that instead of yelling at the artist tbh
im not saying free works arent necessarily above criticism. but this is just. fucking wild. its common courtesy to just enjoy stuff (or fucking leave if you dont, the back button is free) and if the artist specifically asks for critiques, then give one - constructive that is, shitting all over someones work is not proper criticism, mind you
i just find it fucking wild people are treating art and archive sites as social media these days like this and everything needs to be policed and ~catered to the algorithm~ like. no. ao3 doesnt have an algorithm. you should be able to fucking tell what you like and what you dont like and steer away from that kind of content and let people fucking be with their art. they dont owe you anything (except trigger warnings i'd argue, but i know some people disagree with that as well for some reason), and imagine how much more energy you'd have if you only engaged with things you liked and spent time looking at instead of going to places where you dont enjoy yourself. let alone spending time telling other people you dont enjoy what they enjoy. what a fucking life
#like what the fuck#where is the common courtesy of fandoms these days im just fucking asking. its ridiculous#the back button is free. shutting your fucking mouth is free. constructive criticism when people ask for it is nice but only then#these are fucking basic level fandom engagement things#am i old or are people just this fucking awful now that these guidelines dont exist anymore#im just. ough#sorry i had to get this out. idk as someone who has never left unsolicited advice for anyone and never gotten it back it just#it fucking grinds me that people are like this now. like fucking wow#ive been here for almost two decades soon and i still know how to behave. yall better fucking learn#im gonna go back to video game sorry i really needed to yell for a hot fucking second#if you choose to reblog this dont fucking clown on it okay. god#night is an absolute mess on main
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seeing so many fellow creators' gifsets getting under 180 notes with an average reblog to like ratio of 1:3 is so disheartening. less and less people are putting out content cause it seems that no one cares anymore.
If you truly care about supporting creators at all, I encourage everyone to have a tracked tag in this economy whether you make content or not, you probably have mutuals who would love to share things with you and can't.
#also goes for creators who don't reblog much from other creators as stated recently in a post I saw everyone is part of the problem#and I feel like I tag the same 5 people all the time cause idk who to tag anymore so many people are inactive#many times I wish I could share things w ppl that I know they would like who aren't creators but they dont track a tag so 🤷🏻#and just bc someone tags you doesnt mean you should feel obligated to reblog it. just puts things in your line of sight is all#I am once again asking u to share things w your followers (me)#BC MY DASH IS FUCKIN DEAD ALL THE TIME MAN
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reposting some old doodles i still enjoy a bit
#a doodley#guys im having realizations i dont really know what to do with#ive said this tons before but my main issue with art rn is like#i Know anatomy. and what it's Meant to look like. my issue is straying away from Correct and going with Good like how some of my stuff was#before i really started learning. loose and not restricted#but my obstacle is that nobody draws the way i want to draw. and im bad at coming up with my own stuff...i need to copy and osmose off#someone else. well. it turns out there is someone who draws the way i draw. and its cheye of the past.#dont get me wrong if i look thru the rest of the art in the (year) folder these came from; 80% of it sucks#i wish i cld have what past cheye had but with current cheye tweaks and refinement#but idk how to do that. something weird has happened to my mind i really cant envision and make art the same way anymore#idk how he did it back then....i wish i Knew bc current me cant make anything out of sketching or thumbnails or just going at it#arghhh#i try and force myself to draw stuff like this now (interactions) and it looks. so stiff. and bad proportion wise but idk how to fix it#which isnt to say the proportions (for example) in THESE drawings are perfect but they dont scream Wrong or Bad or Incorrect to me ykwim...#idk! idk what to do with this. ive never known how to go back and study my own stuff
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Winn + Mac fusion idea. lalala.
#clemart#uhm. yeah sure boss up#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#mac opsys#winn dos#<- technically#Crome#idk i got inspired by a lot of the cog fusions going around. a lot of my notes are in the second one#if you can read them. i rushed them bc i wasnt planning on sharing but some of my friends like them ++ i had a change of heart#i dont think ive seen a toon/toon fusion so heh.. you know what i had to do#actually ive had the idea for a little bit. i just needed a push of inspiration#i tried to make them a nice mix between the two but i fear they lean too heavily on one side or another..sighs and kicks rock#technically speaking i wouldve left their arms a solid blue or maybe a blue/white. but i feel like with the hair the yellow is#blocked out. so i thought doing half blue half yellow would be a bit more balancing#like winns (and macs to a degree) design i put the green on the clothing rather than the body#this is a little more colorful than what i think is possible but tch whatever. sniffles. gets scared#i think ive given up on trying to keep drawing toon species that are only in game. go my bugs and jerboas who cares anymore#i might remove the blue from the tail later..idk....
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i love when ppl draw bumblebee like the happy little creachure he is but also i love when people draw bumblebee like he's had 500 beers in the last 1 hour and still the pain won't even ebb
#bonus when they do both by making him just utterly psychotic but he smiles so no one notices#i am a shameful idw bee enjoyer but like in the tired af ppl pleasing libra girl who needs a therapist so fking bad but#has 700000 billion duties and 900000000 billion expectations and mean bitches in his ear telling him hes stupid#sense#and not the he feels like an officer sense like no my queen is just a teachers pet doing her best which is her worst im afraid#anyways i love bee hes very indignant and a bitch but also im gonna stand beside her sorry#u do not understand how powerful it was to give him a cane . a literal crutch to hold onto to feel stronger even when ratchet says he doesnt#have to anymore but yet bee still insists bcs he doesnt have time for the repairs itll take when others cannot survive#and 2 it comforts him with support and also power and so he cradles it close with the idea of him being weak & needing smthing else#to make him strong#even tho at this point it's rlly just for comfort but he cant afford to allow himself to have comfort when others cant#or dont need it in his heroism ideals (specifically optimus being seen as so much stronger than him)#optimus also had bee tho. had him. but bee is so self conscious he just sees all his failures surrounding optimus & views himself not a#crutch to lean on but a crutch to optimus' character#he rlly needed rodimus and his fiery upbeat persona so they could fake it till they made it together and he left & fucking exploded#(in bees eyes)#like idk im just obsessed with this little tryhard loser#he islike a sad little clingy mother who refuses to think herself as human. she is just mother. lives off evrryones accomplishments#never her own#idk like hes so interesting tonme i want to kill him teehee#chew on him like sponge cak#bumblebee#transformers#tf bumblebee#tf idw#idw#tf#????#maccadam#i hate not knowing waht tag to use
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(scrapped painting)
its kinda fascinating how you can draw something well and instead of learning from it for the next drawing you repeat the same old mistakes that kept you from improving in the first place
(was supposed to the next scene after the previous good painting lol)
its a rly early sketch (i know it wont work out though, too much wrong) but Zaphira (standing) was winning the fight against the guy that challenged her (he also cheated and attacked her weak leg with a dagger despite it being a fist fight) so he ordered the soldiers he hid in the audience to shoot, Shargon is catching the arrows in the air before they can reach her and she trusts him enough to not even react to it
#ganondoodles#art#i guess#man .....#the scene itself is rly cool but i dont think it comes across here lol#im not even angry anymore#im just sad that i wasted almost 3 hours on this .... i redid the sketch alot too#even though i should KNOW i cant paint something if i got a sketch for it#i didnt do a sketch for the last one and it worked!!#and now im up an hours too long too#it feels embarassing to post even#i probably shouldnt even have saved it#its way more difficult too#i should just leave it be and move on bc im clearly not ready to draw it yet#its just hard to ignore that ... idk .. eagerness to please? as in ppl were interested in the previous one#so i wanted to show more of that scene#but i might have just ruined the mystery or something#anyway my blinking is like seconds long i need sleep
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the fact that we never actually got to see kuboyasu interact with saiki in gym class is such a crime
hes like the most perceptive of the group so it wouldve been so fun to see how kusuo would hide his powers around him
i kinda wouldve loved to see them flesh out the "shadow leader" bit a little more instead of just forgetting about it lmao, yasu being sorta like hairo and thinking saiki has hidden power or something
#ik a lot of people have said that aren doesnt think that anymore#and maybe i need to reread ?? cuz im unsure but i dont thinkkk thats ever said or alluded to#so i want to see him either going crazy trying to observe saiki and figure out wtf is up#and/or him slowly losing interest because saiki is clearly just an wet cat boy with autism charm#that woudlve been sooooo funnyyyyy#side note kokomi is also very perceptive but very stupid when it comes to specifically saiki#because he defies everything she knows about men#aren is just as silly as the rest of the group but i dont think he has the same foggy perception of people so#yea idk#this just made me think of that cuz i think they would make a really good team#teruhashi and kuboyasu AND saiki ?? unstoppable#ok done yapping bai#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#kuboyasu aren#meows post
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doodled some. dsmp stuff?? in 2024?? still shocking to me. can you tell who is my favourite............... i can hardly remember anything
#i get so scared posting anything dsmp lol#it has such a bad fandom reputation it sucks#theres been sooo much happening in the fnadom again which sparked up the need to draw some stuff#for the first time in like#2 years#i made these designs up on the spot#i probably wont post anymore dsmp stuff but who knows. if i do it wont be alot. and it wont be for long#dnot kill meeeeeee pleaaaaaaase#obviously the people who turned out to be shitty i dont care for anymore.. ihavent even watched anyone from it in yeaaars#just nostalgic for the actual smp itself#my art#doodles#ctubbo#cranboo#beeduo#dream smp#dsmp#tubbo#ranboo#idk how to tag these
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septmeber.........
#[ queuetie patootie ]#YEP it's a queued post. lmao#hello from July 30th everybody#anyways. self indulgent time#i liked the found family trope with the BM twins. eclipse. and KC#and i put lunar there too because everyone's happy in this AU#what au is this? i dont fucking know#i might come up with something in the future but for now it's just happy fluffy stuff#also eclipse is just gonna be the regular mean older brother idk. also BM still killed those kids in this AU i think lol#they're just a silly goober#But that might be changed if i flesh out wtv AU this is idk#lovingdelusions#sun and moon show bloodmoon#sams bloodmoon#fnaf bloodmoon#bloodmoon twins#sams bloodtwins#tsams bloodtwins#sun and moon show bloodtwins#sams lunar#<- not anymore but like its still a tag tho lmao#tsams lunar#fnaf lunar#sun and moon show lunar#laes lunar#also. as to why i used lunar's revived model when he wasn't killed: because i want to :3#and no i dont think monty would sweep fallen leaves (competently) even with a gun pointed to her head#but for now let's pretend
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#qsmp#qsmp slime#qsmp juanaflippa#juanaflippa#qslimecicle#reblogs appreciated!!!#🎨 my art#i don’t know what this is i just felt like drawing somehting after slimes stream#pardon how messy this looks i don’t normally draw stuff like this LMAO#i’m shit at angst and idk if this counts as that but WHATEVER HERE YOU GOOOOO#TAKE THIS ART I DONT WANT IT ANYMORE INAIHDIJA
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i was planning on making a ton of these today but turns out they take A LOT OF TIME and i wanna make donuts still
BTW I USED PINTREST COLAGE TO MAKE THIS
#FROM THE LIST I MADE#making the keychain was so fun#the miffy thing was just for my script at first but im committed now#this isn’t casual anymore i will lay down my life for this dr#the carrots are for fluff the cucumbers are for me#3 BOTTLES OF HANDSANITIZER#I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SIENE DONT PLAY WITH ME RN#5000 dollars in cash because why not#chimera posts#anti shifters dni#reality shifting#ramblings#shifting blog#shiftblr#shifting community#shifters#idk what else to tag
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I don't feel very well
I feel upset and confused and disappointed
and kind of scared for the future... I don't like when people suffer. i dont want more suffering to happen in this community
I'm still going to try to finish my batch of emote redraws, I think... I only have one more to get done.
I'm trying to distract myself, but it's difficult... I feel like I finally stopped thinking about it entirely the other day and now I can't stop thinking about it again
Please don't harass others, for any reason. it never helps anybody. (i don't think yelling at people on anon is going to do any good either; it's not particularly productive. you should think very carefully about what you say to people and what good you believe it will accomplish.)
and please all be more critical of information you come across in the future... it can help avoid this sort of thing repeating
#yes this is referring to what you think it is#what do i tag this with? i don't know#i dont have any great statements to make about anything#i just feel bad and i don't know what the right thing to do is anymore#im not sure what i should be doing. i dont know#nonspecific nonsense#luna's broadcasts#serious#vent#pansear-doodles#you can ask me about it if you want i guess#idk if ill respond
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