#ive been here for almost two decades soon and i still know how to behave. yall better fucking learn

[the-kipsabian]

saw a take so fucking rancid on twitter i almost deleted the entire app from my phone jesus fucking christ

first of all ao3 is an archive site. this is like going to the library and saying "oh i dont like this" on every piece of media you find that you dislike and thinking they should be stamped with some sort of a marker just cause you didnt like it

you can always click back and leave. fic writers owe you nothing to explain themselves and their creations. if they have mistagged or miscategorized fics, then i understand, however there are report tools for that instead of yelling at the artist tbh

im not saying free works arent necessarily above criticism. but this is just. fucking wild. its common courtesy to just enjoy stuff (or fucking leave if you dont, the back button is free) and if the artist specifically asks for critiques, then give one - constructive that is, shitting all over someones work is not proper criticism, mind you

i just find it fucking wild people are treating art and archive sites as social media these days like this and everything needs to be policed and ~catered to the algorithm~ like. no. ao3 doesnt have an algorithm. you should be able to fucking tell what you like and what you dont like and steer away from that kind of content and let people fucking be with their art. they dont owe you anything (except trigger warnings i'd argue, but i know some people disagree with that as well for some reason), and imagine how much more energy you'd have if you only engaged with things you liked and spent time looking at instead of going to places where you dont enjoy yourself. let alone spending time telling other people you dont enjoy what they enjoy. what a fucking life

[luminnara]

It’s Been a Long, Long Time | Ch 6

Summary:  When HYDRA had their prized asset, the Winter Soldier, they did something no one ever thought was possible: they gave super soldier serum to an omega. With the sole purpose of tending to him during his ruts, she spends decades living in HYDRA facilities, denied her humanity and her life. Now, years later, Bucky Barnes has his mind and his own life back...and the last thing he ever expects is to see a familiar omega again. Bucky/OC, a little angsty but mostly smutty/fluffy/romantic!

Part One | ... | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

Tags:  @kyrah-williams @oceanmermaidwitch @shawnie--jo @super-cape @ferxaniti @namjoonwatcheshentai @fandomsstolemylife00 @youngblood199456 @nightlygiggless @darlingely @ bluemoon-icecream @kaz11283 @jenjen8675309 @dollfacev8 @witchinpractice @mystical-b3ar @sukeraa

Bucky refused to leave the omega’s side while she stayed in the lab. Bruce had to stop him from trying to crawl onto the bed with her, and after about the third time, he convinced the super soldier to just pull up a chair like a civilized person and hold her hand while she drifted off to sleep again. Now that she was with her alpha, she had settled down for another nap, more interested in resting than answering any more questions so long as Bucky stayed and kept an eye on her. 

Steve had to admit, it was endearing. He had never seen his friend so absolutely enraptured like this. Whenever the omega, or Ten, as Bruce was still calling her, shifted in her sleep, Bucky’s eyes were snapping over to make sure that she was okay. Whenever she let out a little whimper, he was purring and stroking her hair. Whenever she seemed like she might wake up again, his attention was completely on her.

“So...sure you don’t remember her?” Steve asked, pulling up a chair. He had left for a few hours to work out, and after a lack of updates from FRIDAY, he headed back down to check on everything. They were exactly as he had left them, which was a good sign. At least nothing was getting out of hand. 

Yet.

Bucky shrugged, rubbing the back of the omega’s hand with his thumb. “I dunno. It’s...foggy.”

“Well, it seems to me like you’ve either got a history together, or she’s mistaking you for someone else.” Steve said. “Quite frankly, it’s hard to do the latter.”

“I’ve dreamt of her.” Bucky said quietly. 

“...what?”

“It’s not much, but...I’ve seen her face.” Bucky looked down at her. “I think that no matter how many times HYDRA wiped my memory, she’s always been in there. Kinda like the one constant that was always around, the one thing I could always count on being in the base with me.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Steve asked.

“Never knew if she was real or not.” Bucky sighed. “I thought...maybe she was just something my mind made up to fill some of the gaps. But she smells exactly like I remember.”

Steve sat back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched his friend. Bucky wasn’t snarling anymore, most of his attention trained on the omega while she slept. Now that he was close to her, he had calmed down significantly, though he still wouldn’t let Steve within five feet of her bed. 

“Just got off the phone with Tony,” Bruce announced, walking in. “He and Pepper will be back tonight. Pepper’s having some clothes and personal items delivered for our new omega friend here. They also asked about renovating a more permanent room for her, but I, uh...told them I wasn’t exactly sure what the situation would be.”

“She’s staying with me,” Bucky said immediately. 

“Now hang on, hang on,” Steve leaned forward. 

“Steve,” Bucky growled. “I want her with me.”

“Buck, you don’t even know her—“

Bucky interrupted him with a loud snarl, the omega in question whining and squirming in her sleep at the sound of it. 

He immediately shut up, brushing a thumb over her cheek and shushing her until she was sleeping soundly again. Fuck, he felt so stupid. What was wrong with him? She could have woken up, or been scared, or upset, all because he couldn’t keep his big mouth shut. She needed her rest, and he needed to stay quiet. 

Steve almost couldn’t believe what he was seeing. 

“Oh, Buck,” he shook his head. “You’re in deep.”

—

Amoretta woke feeling well rested, and it wasn’t until she tried to stretch and felt the tug of her IV drip that she remembered where she was. Opening her eyes revealed the bright lights of the lab, and as she started to sit up, a few faces came into view.

“Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty,” Bruce said. “How are you feelin’?”

She licked her lips. “Juice box. Now.”

“Way ahead of you. Had this one waiting as soon as you started waking up.” He tossed one to her and was pleased when her hand shot up to catch it. “Reflexes look good. Vitals are all reading normal. I’ll have to run another test to see what’s going on with those suppressants, but I’m willing to bet you’re metabolizing them fairly quickly now. How are you feeling?”

She pulled the little straw off the back of the carton and jammed it into the top. “Nauseous. Like usual.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Side effect of the suppressants?”

“Always has been. Other than that...I feel great, actually.”

“Well, as soon as these wear off, we can figure out something nicer and more modern for you. If you want to use them, I mean.” Bruce shrugged. “Your choice.”

She smiled. “Choice. I like that.”

“Hey, we’re all about independence here,” Steve said happily. He was glad to see she was awake, even though Bucky wasn’t.

The other alpha was still at her side, but, as of about half an hour ago, he was napping. Steve made a mental note to never let him forget the way he slept straight through the one moment he had been waiting for all day. 

“What time is it?” She asked. “There’s no windows in this damn place.”

“Just after dinner,” Bruce chuckled. “You slept most of the day. Bucky hasn’t left your side.”

She looked over to her soldier, smiling warmly at the sight of him sleeping. He was even snoring softly. “I haven’t gotten to see this in forty years.”

“Did you two, uh…” Steve cleared his throat. “Spend a lot of time together?”

The omega laughed. “You always this awkward around girls?”

“That’s not—“

“Relax, I’m just giving you a hard time.” She sucked on her straw. “But...yeah, we did.”

“So...you were just kept for his ruts, or…” Steve was so awkward it was almost endearing. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I think.”

“It’s okay. I know my lot in life.” She kept her eyes trained on Bucky as she spoke. “But if I’m going to answer more questions, I want to get out of this bed. And I want real clothes. Then I’ll talk.”

And so, only several minutes later, Bruce was handing her a sweater and some shorts he had grabbed from a little stash of extra clothing, and Bucky was startled awake by Ten stepping past him. She was finally free from all the tubes and cords that had been sticking out of her during her little hospital stay, and she was all too eager now to explore the tower.

She stood on wobbly legs, almost falling onto him when she tried to take a step. Bucky was up in a flash, ready to catch her, and as she fell against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her. Despite just waking up, he felt fully alert, completely ready to tend to his omega’s every need. 

His omega...he liked that train of thought. 

“We can head up to the common area. It should still be quiet.” Steve said, leading the way out. 

Bucky kept an arm around his omega’s waist as they followed, Bruce bringing up the rear. He wanted to be touching her at all times, constantly in contact so that he couldn’t lose track of her. His instincts were roaring to life, demanding that he do everything in his power to make sure that she was safe and in his line of sight. The elevator ride was tense and full of possessive growling, Bucky constantly shoving Ten behind him to keep her in the corner and as far away from Steve as possible, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief when the doors slid open and they could step out of the cramped space again. 

The common area was empty, thankfully, FRIDAY informing them that the other Avengers were all either working out or in their private quarters. 

“Good,” Steve said, heading towards the couches. “No interruptions. Got it, FRIDAY?”

“Understood, Captain Rogers.”

“C’mere,” Bucky mumbled, pulling his omega down to sit on one of the couches with him. Part of him was feeling a little sheepish and self conscious of his behavior...but the rest of him didn’t give a shit. The others could stare and shake their heads all they wanted, but he’d be damned if he let Ten slip through his fingers again. 

Or whatever her name was. 

Steve and Bruce sat across from them, making sure that they left as much space as possible between themselves and the new omega. Neither of them had ever seen Bucky behaving quite like this--he was on guard, hyper aware of everything around him. He made sure that she was pressed up against his side, an arm draped possessively over the back of the couch so that it was unmistakable that she was with him.

Christ, what had gotten into him? He couldn’t remember ever acting this way about an omega before. 

“So…” Steve cleared his throat, sitting with his elbows resting on his knees.

Bucky didn’t really like the way his posture made him lean forward towards his omega, but he could deal with it for now. “So.”

“What do you wanna know?” Ten asked, plucking at Bucky’s shirt. She seemed to be even clingier with him than he was with her, perfectly happy to be hanging off him or tucked up against his side. “You met my demands. I guess I’m an open book now.”

“I don’t want to overstep my bounds,” Steve said. “We just need to know as much as you’re willing to share.”

“Then ask a question.”

“...Alright.” he cleared his throat again. “You said HYDRA used you to help with Bucky’s ruts?”

Ten nodded, her expression remaining even and cool. 

“Could you tell us more about that?” Steve glanced at Bucky. “Were there ever any other omegas, or anyone we should know about?”

“There were omegas before me.” she answered. “When I first got to the compound, there were a lot of us. They kept us all in big cells, so everyone talked. People said things about how HYDRA was grabbing omegas off the street for their super soldiers, and how the one at our base was the biggest and scariest.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow at her tone. He wasn’t exactly sure what he expected her to sound like while she regaled them with her life story, but he definitely thought there would be a tad bit more apprehension in her voice. She seemed proud of herself, and more matter-of-fact than a lot of omegas would be while talking about their alpha’s previous partners. Or...whatever you called prisoners whose only purpose was to help during ruts.

“And I bet he was,” she sighed, leaning her cheek on Bucky’s chest and looking up at him adoringly. 

“Well, I don’t know about that…” Bucky said, an almost shy smile on his lips. And...was he actually blushing?

Steve was going to lose his mind. 

“You said the other omegas couldn’t handle it? That’s why you were given the serum?” he prompted, trying to keep them on track before he drowned in the sticky sweetness of her happy pheromones. 

“Right.” she turned her attention back to Steve and Bucky let out a quiet huff. “HYDRA didn’t really like to take care of us. And the soldier--I mean, Bucky--would wear them out. So...HYDRA would just kind of let them go. Or put them down, maybe. I never saw it.”

Bucky’s expression dropped. His blush was gone, and he almost looked like he was going to be sick as he listened to her talk.

“But it wasn’t his fault,” she said quickly, glancing between him and Steve. “I don’t think it was ever on purpose, you were just...demanding.”

He gave a groan, leaning his head back against the couch. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it, doll. I’d rather know what I did, at this point.”

She offered a small shrug. “I don’t really remember it being that bad, but I don’t think I ever met you before they gave me the serum.”

“That’s something, at least.” he mumbled, dragging a hand down his face. 

“Why you?” Steve asked. “Did you have any prior military experience, any ties to something the others didn’t?”

“No.” she laughed. “I never even got in fights before HYDRA.”

“Then why’d they use such an important resource on you, specifically? Not trying to take a dig at you, it’s just...well, omegas don’t usually…”

“I know,” she said. “Omegas aren’t supposed to be tough, right? That’s why they only ever let alphas become super soldiers.”

“That’s not what I…” Steve trailed off and then sighed. “Sorry.”

“I told you, they gave me the serum so that I would be strong enough to hold my own. It also ensured I would always be around, no matter how many years passed.” Her fingers found Bucky’s free hand and she took it, absentmindedly playing with the smooth vibranium knuckles. “Having me as a constant meant they could stop spending so much time and effort on always having a new omega around for him. Plus…well, I wasn’t really there, but I heard something about it once…”

“What?” Bucky asked. 

“They let you choose who was going to become your omega.” She said, looking up at him. “They gave you a bunch of scents, and you chose mine. I guess it was the only reason they didn’t, uh...humanely euthanize me.”

His eyes were wide. The thought of HYDRA killing his omega brought a low growl to his throat, his chest rumbling with the vibrations of it. “No.”

“Well, clearly they didn’t!” She said brightly. “My file said I was a kicker.”

“So they gave you, an already aggressive omega, the serum, but never gave you any trigger words or fished around in your brain?” Bruce shook his head. “Surprisingly sloppy, considering who they are.”

“It’s not like they ever sent me out into the world. I stayed in my cell all day, unless I was needed for a rut. Then I went and stayed in a different cell.” She sighed. “And if they ever needed to, they could just use the alpha to grab me.”

Bucky clearly didn’t like the thought of that. He made a frustrated sound, leaning his head back again. “Great.”

“It was never bad.” She let go of his hand, moving her fingers to cup his jaw. “You never hurt me. You wouldn’t. Sometimes, when I acted up, they would make you go retrieve me, because they knew you were the only one who could do it. If they didn’t send you, they would just knock me out.”

“So...that was it?” Steve asked. “Ruts, serum, cryo?”

“For thirty years!” She chirped. “The last time they froze me, they were freezing him, too. They always tried to keep us in cryo at the same time so that I could be thawed out and ready when he needed me. But...I guess they just...left me there?” She frowned. 

“See, that’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.” Steve said. “I didn’t see any signs of a struggle at that base. I’d say they left in an orderly fashion, but the fact that they didn’t take you along makes me think they were in more of a hurry than they made it seem.”

“Natasha might have a better idea,” Bruce suggested. “We can talk to her, try to figure out—“

“FRIDAY, open the damn door or so help me God I will rewrite your entire personality.” A voice interrupted from the other side of the door. 

“I’m sorry, Tony, but Captain Rogers asked me not to.” The AI said. 

“Well, is it an emergency?” The man scoffed.

“No emergency measures have been executed. No security breaches have been identified.”

“Then I’m sorry, but Captain Rogers does not outrank me when it comes to my own robots. Open the door, beautiful.”

She seemed to sigh. “Very well, Mr. Stark.”

Ten perked up, leaning forward slightly. She was watching the door curiously, tilting her head a little when she heard it slide open. Bucky rolled his eyes, grumbling to himself quietly and pulling her up against his side as another alpha strode in. 

“Really? Having a party without me?” the man asked, a smooth, casual air about him as he walked in and looked at everyone on the couches. When his eyes landed on the omega cuddled up next to Bucky, he stopped. “Ah, is this our new guest?”

“Go away, Stark.” Bucky growled. He didn’t like how long the other man’s gaze was lingering on his omega, not when there weren’t any scars on her neck to show who she belonged to.

“Always such a charmer, Barnes.” Tony said, flopping down next to Steve. “Lovely to see you, too. Care to introduce me to your friend? ….No, you’d rather just snarl and forget your words? I knew you were old, but I didn’t realize you were actually a caveman.”

“Tony,” Bruce groaned. “Don’t aggravate him. Please.”

“Why not?” Tony leaned back against the cushions, completely at ease and totally happy to be pressing every one of Bucky’s buttons. 

“Are you Tony Stark?” Ten asked, wiggling out of Bucky’s grip to sit on the edge of their couch. 

Bucky caught her around the waist before she could get very far, though, and dragged her onto his lap. He loomed over her, sneering dangerously at Tony as the other alpha flashed a smile. 

“Bingo.” he said. 

“I never thought I’d meet a Stark,” she admitted. “I always heard about Stark Industries, but I lived too far away from any big cities to ever get to see any of his exhibitions.”

“Ah. You’re from my father’s time. Of course.” Tony shot a pointed glare in Bucky’s direction. “Seems like Bruce left out a few teensy weensy important details on the phone today.”

“Well, it’s been, uh...an ongoing learning experience.” Bruce said sheepishly. 

“Lots of developments, huh?” Tony raised an eyebrow. 

“You could say that.” Steve said under his breath. “We came up here so Ten could be more comfortable while we talk.”

“Oh yeah? What’re we talkin’ about?” Tony asked. 

“They were asking about my time with HYDRA,” she answered, cutting in before anyone else could. “And with...Bucky.”

Saying his name felt odd. Her tongue wasn’t used to it, and her mind wanted to call him alpha, or Winter Soldier. Bucky just seemed so…casual, such a strange thing to call a deadly super soldier. When she heard herself, though, she decided that she definitely didn’t hate it. 

Bucky’s heart gave a little leap at the sound of his name falling from her lips. He wanted her to say it over and over again, in whispers and in screams, for nobody else’s ears but his. 

“...Buck?” Steve asked, pulling him away from his thoughts. “You, uh, kinda zoned out there.”

It wasn’t until Bucky looked at Steve that he realized his eyes had been trained on the omega in his lap. “Yeah?”

“...Is this seriously how you’ve spent the past day and a half?” Tony asked. “Steve, I’m sorry, and I’m sure you’re just trying to be as helpful as you can be, like always, but I think you should let these two get a room.”

Steve looked at him incredulously. “Tony, really? I’m trying to get to the bottom of why exactly HYDRA would abandon the omega they pumped full of super soldier serum. They can get a room later—“

“Yeah, uh, wonder boy? I don’t think your pal is gonna last much longer before he tries to rip our heads off.” Tony nodded towards a very disgruntled Bucky. “You can resume your interrogation tomorrow, Cap.”

Steve looked to Bruce for help, but he only offered a small shrug and stood, heading towards the door. “He’s right, Steve. They deserve some alone time.”

“But—hey!” Steve protested as Bucky picked his omega up, striding past the two alphas sitting on the opposite couch. 

“Thanks for everything, Steve.” Bucky said over his shoulder. 

Ten squirmed, peeking around Bucky’s arm as she was carried away. “Bye, Mr. Stark!”

“Don’t look at him,” Bucky growled as they walked out the door. 

“Did his father really make hoverboards? I heard once that Howard was promising hoverboards—“

“No.” He said flatly. 

“...oh.” She huffed, slumping against him. “Where are we going?”

“My apartment.” Bucky stepped into the elevator, his grip still tight around her. 

The omega perked up. “You have a whole apartment?”

He puffed his chest out a little. “Course I do. Gotta have a nice place for you, don’t I?”

“So I can stay?” Her eyes were bright and happy. “I can stay there, with you, all the time? Not just when you rut?”

He felt a sad little pang in his heart. When he spoke again, his voice was low and soft. “Of course, sweetheart.”

Then, his eyes widened as he realized what he was saying. “I mean, uh...i-if you want to, that is. I know it’s fast and all, and maybe...would you rather have your own room? Or I can stay on the couch—“

“Bucky,” she cut him off with a laugh, a soft hand cupping his jaw. “You’ve been my alpha for seventy years. I’d say we’re actually moving pretty slow.”

His expression relaxed again, lips stretching into a small smile. “Right. Yeah. You’re right.”

They spent the rest of the elevator ride in comfortable silence, Bucky rubbing his scent glands all over her hair. He wanted to make sure that the next time they encountered anyone else, she smelled exactly like him.

Like her alpha.

When the elevator came to a gentle stop at Bucky’s floor, the doors opened, and he stepped out in front of his apartment door. It opened for him, having already scanned his biometrics, revealing a small, but cozy, living room. 

He set his omega down on her feet, watching anxiously as she stepped into his quarters. Did she like it? Fuck, was it too small? It was too small. She probably hated it. Fuck, fuck, fuck...he had to salvage this somehow. 

“Well, uh…” shit, he sounded too nervous. He wanted her to think he was a strong, capable alpha. 

He cleared his throat for another start. “Welcome home, Omega.” 

Wait. That wasn’t right. Should he be calling her that? No, probably not, it sounded too possessive, too uncaring. He wished he just knew her fucking name, or something. 

“I mean…Ten?”

Shit, he sounded so stupid. He wanted to impress her, not...do whatever this was.

She just laughed, though, turning and looking at him with those eyes that sparkled like starlight. “Amoretta. My name is Amoretta.”

[midnightactual]

Critical Analysis & Tactics IV (CAT-4): Yoruichi vs. Soifon Part B

Click here for Part A!

06. There are two highly interesting points during this fight where Yoruichi and Soifon’s perspectives of one another undergo a shift, which reveals the extent to which they had misunderstood one another. Yoruichi’s occur in chapters 157, as she increasingly realizes that Soifon not only isn’t playing around or trash-talking, but is actually serious about trying to kill her:

Here she goes from surprised to fairly pissed-off looking, in a way that almost seems to suggest: You’re taking this rather too far, aren’t you?

This is probably the moment when she fully realizes Soifon’s commitment, and it’s confirmed by a similar moment in chapter 158 when Soifon actually stabs her with Suzumebachi.

Soifon’s realization that she hasn’t quite understood Yoruichi comes earlier, in chapter 154. After trading a few introductory blows with Yoruichi, her first real move is to summon the Onmitsukidō:

I count at least 20 soldiers here. As we all know, Yoruichi dispatches them with ease. One must wonder then why Soifon tried this approach at all. Look at how relaxed and confident she looks while talking down to Yoruichi. Look at what she says. She wasn’t sending at least 20 guys in to get beat up for the hell of it—she legitimately thought it would work!

She’s completely surprised and very clearly shocked when it doesn’t.

Yoruichi then (very playfully!) chastises Soifon for this. However, the truth isn’t that Soifon has forgotten who she’s dealing with, it’s that she never knew in the first place. As we later see in Soifon’s flashbacks in chapter 159:

Whenever Soifon thinks about feats that qualify Yoruichi as being “frighteningly strong,” the very best she can remember is Yoruichi beating up three guys. If the best you’d ever seen someone do was beat up three men, then sending twenty at them would seem like a pretty reasonable course of action! This tells you how thoroughly Yoruichi hid her actual power from Soifon during the latter’s time as a bodyguard (for reasons I’ll explain later), and how woefully Soifon underestimated Yoruichi.

The reason Soifon was cocky throughout the fight, to the extent of even suggesting that she was a better warrior than Yoruichi had been then, is that she had absolutely no idea as to what Yoruichi’s actual capabilities were. She seemingly allowed herself, with hindsight, to believe Yoruichi was a talented but spoiled rich noble brat whom she had surpassed by leaps and bounds in the century since. But she believed that because she had never seen any evidence to the contrary—Yoruichi had never let her see it.

This might sound absurd. After all, who would believe that a Taichō could only defeat three opponents at once? But nonetheless it is, as we have seen, something which Soifon behaves as though she believes. Maybe we’re supposed to imagine these are larger numbers (although, as I’ve said before with the size of Las Noches: why not just draw that if that’s what you wanted to show?) but it bears mentioning that Soifon literally never questioned why, if she had invented Shunkō, the keisen shōzoku was already perfectly suited for it:

I’d suggest that Soifon’s own remarks in chapter 138 that, “Right or wrong, it doesn’t concern me. All I care about is my honor and my duties as a Captain of the 13 Court Guard Companies,” reveal that she isn’t particularly interested in questioning her own experiences, let alone her orders.

07. All of the above points come together when the battle escalates to the mutual Shunkō reveal in chapters 158 and 159. Skipping over the explanations regarding it, we come to the real crux of this fight.

We discover that Yoruichi was not only prepared to use Shunkō during this fight, but that she could have used it at literally any time—she just didn’t want to.

We discover that Yoruichi had sufficient skill to curve her blasts with Shunkō around Soifon, immediately after she’d said, “I still can’t control it very well.” This leaves one to wonder what controlling it ‘well’ would look like, as well as making it clear that this was just a demonstration of power—Yoruichi didn’t miss. (Nor did Soifon block; she’s standing there simply dumbfounded.)

We discover that Yoruichi kept Shunkō from Soifon for the latter’s own good, presumably much as she kept other things form Soifon for the same reason.

We discover that although Yoruichi is surprised and impressed by Soifon’s growth, she’s of the opinion that Soifon isn’t ready to use Shunkō. (Perhaps, just like bankai takes at least a decade of training to really use efficiently, it takes a century or two—or more—to really use Shunkō without endangering oneself.)

We discover that Yoruichi is indeed vastly more powerful than Soifon, being able to easily nullify Soifon’s Shunkō using Hanki. (Notice Yoruichi’s growing discomfort visually from this page onward, with her expression becoming increasingly concerned.)

We discover that Soifon without Shunkō stands no real chance against Yoruichi. (And although she can turn it back on, it’ll just be nullified again.)

We discover that in total, Yoruichi remains just as far above Soifon in the present as she’d been in the past (not that Soifon’d had any actual idea how far that was then), and that the seeming equality between the two earlier in the fight was nothing more than a mirage created by Yoruichi’s physical weakness, not any actual parity between them.

And we discover that Yoruichi could’ve killed Soifon at any point in the fight had she so desired, a fact which Soifon herself becomes intimately aware of, cracking her morale and prompting her to begin asking “Why?” only to finally reveal the source of her animus: “Why didn’t you... take me with you?”

In the face of that question, we see Yoruichi having another realization. She realizes that all of Soifon’s hostility stems from a sense of abandonment and betrayal (which we learned from Soifon’s own flashbacks, as she herself characterized it as, “... A betrayal... by my personal god”).

And finally, after Soifon has fallen to her knees in anguish, we see Yoruichi looking genuinely sad for the first (and to my recollection only) time. It’s because she realizes that this is all her fault. Yoruichi’s priorities in the past with regard to Soifon seem to have been to:

protect Soifon from emotional harm; she went out of her way to include and nurture Soifon within her bodyguard unit’s activities, and far more remarkably, concealed the extent of her own abilities so as to not make the existence of her bodyguard seem pointless

protect Soifon from physical harm; Yoruichi concealed an ability like Shunkō from Soifon not just for the sake of the above priority, but to prevent Soifon from considering its use too early and thus injuring herself

protect Soifon from political harm; Yoruichi didn’t leave any kind of message or say goodbye, let alone take Soifon with her, precisely because she didn’t want Soifon in the line of fire of Aizen’s conspiracy

Her overriding agenda with regard to Soifon was to protect her from things she wasn’t ready to know, but making that judgment was a kind of patronizing hubris on Yoruichi’s part, and what she missed was that she failed to protect Soifon from psychological harm. She didn’t seem to fully understand the degree to which Soifon idolized her, and thus didn’t anticipate the kind of effects her departure would have upon Soifon in the long term.

Yoruichi entered this fight expecting to pick right back up where they left off with maybe some token resentment, only to find her prot��gé trying to kill her and to soon discover that she’d hurt and twisted her grievously... and that it was all her own fault. In trying to protect Soifon, she’d turned her into an enemy.

Soifon, meanwhile, was forced to reckon with the fact that in a certain sense, she never truly knew Yoruichi, because Yoruichi had never allowed her to. Given the importance Soifon places on martial prowess and being a warrior, that must be a hard blow to take. Soifon is ultimately in a superficially similar position to how Momo is to Aizen, but Soifon is forced to realize that fact herself, in a deep and visceral way. She herself is forced to understand that, “Adoration… is the state furthest from understanding.”

It seems obvious that the two immediately reconciled to an extent, given they’d soon confront Aizen together, and that they likely talked about these things at least some in the following week which Yoruichi spent in Soul Society. However, that doesn’t detract from the facts that:

Yoruichi was never in actual danger during this fight

Soifon’s parity with Yoruichi only manifested in basic abilities

Soifon only had that parity in basic abilities because Yoruichi was out of shape

Yoruichi still heavily outclassed Soifon as a fighter overall

Soifon had radically underestimated Yoruichi’s abilities in the past because Yoruichi had concealed the true extent of her power

Yoruichi’s earlier and later performance of basic abilities were as far removed from Soifon’s as were their abilities to use Shunkō during this fight

It is furthermore evident that Yoruichi’s control of Shunkō would continue to remain ahead of Soifon’s into the future. Soifon, while having improved dramatically beyond Yoruichi’s wildest expectations, never actually caught up to Yoruichi or posed a truly lethal threat to her. (And this is perhaps part of why Soifon seems to easily settle back into a deferential role to Yoruichi in the anime, omake, and subsequent materials, although they never share time together in the rest of the manga.) This fight ultimately wasn’t really about abilities so much as a failure to understand one another.

[mmazzeroo]

Chapter 16: JON IV - Kintsugi is a Silent Proof of Survival

@helloimnotawesome - Chapter 16 is up! Thank you SO much for the lovely moodboard! I’m adding it to this chapter. Couldn’t wait to use it lol. Hope you’ll enjoy this chapter! More coming soon. Love ya, sis!

JON IV - Kintsugi is a Silent Proof of Survival:

"That's a big campfire, guys. Did you chop down half a forest somewhere? It's supposed to be a campfire, not a bonfire."

"Actually this is a bonfire. The campfire is over there." He waved an arm in the general direction somewhere to his right and chuckled as he noticed his brother's frown. "And no, we didn't chop down half a forest. A third maybe but definitely not half." He winked at Robb as he walked over to the campfire where Bran was sitting reading aloud to Aegon curled up in his lap.  

"Ok...so what's the bonfire for?"

"You." He turned around to see a clearly confused Robb stare back at him. Laughingly he said "you and your betrothed. There are places in the world where lighting a bonfire for the soon-to-be married couple or newly married couple is considered good luck for the pair. The fire is said to ward off evil spirits and negative energy."

"I thought you didn't believe in the Gods."

"I don't really, but you do and what's the harm in trying to be on their good side for the sake of my brother and my soon-to-be sister-in-law?" He gave Robb a pad on the back but he was pulled in for a tight hug.

"Thank you so much, Jon. That means more than you know." Robb choked out the words.

"Anytime brother." With that Robb slowly loosened his grip and silently nodded.

As they walked around the fire pit, Arya and Dany came storming into the camp area arms waving over their heads triumphant grins on their faces.

"WHOOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!"

"The reigning Dragonstone champions remains undefeated in what is an unprecedented record of a decade long place at the number one spot." Dany did a, surprisingly, well imitation of a sports commentator as Arya kept dancing around. Her famous 'winning' dance. He tried to keep his laughing to a minimum but the priceless look on Robb's face made it very difficult.

Viserys arrived with a bat and ball in hand looking defeated and annoyed. The look Vis and Robb shared as they were surrounded by the two dancing women was just too much. He couldn't hold in his laugher any longer. When Bran and Aegon joined in the laugher as well Robb tried to shut it down.

"Alright alright, you've had your fun. Now settle down. No need to make a scene." Robb's tone made it clear he was less than amused.

Gods, their egos are so bruised it just makes it even more hilarious! He high-five'd Arya as she came dancing by once again, and grabbed ahold of Dany and pulled her in for a heated kiss.

"Beating both our brothers, huh? Atta girl!" She gave him a big proud grin. "I'm impressed but not surprised." She kissed him again. "I love you," he whispered in her ear before giving her another quick peck on the lips and letting her return to her victory dance with Arya.

"What's the matter brother?" Arya was laughing teasingly at Robb. "Is our WINNING TOO LOUD FOR YOU??" She laughed out loud as she finally sat down next to where Vis had settled down in the grass.

"No, it's just...you're a bad winner..." He was shuffling his feet while scowling at their youngest sister. "You won. Fair and square. No one is questioning it, but there's no need to be a dick about it."

"I'll stop being a dick when you stop being an asshole."

"Hey! Why am I the asshole, huh?"

"Just for the record, and I'm speaking from personal experience here, dicks and assholes tend to go very well together." Viserys chimed in clearly trying to break the tension.

"Guys, please watch you language we do have minors here." Dany cut in this time, extending her arm to where Bran and Aegon were sitting. "And for the record," she locked eyes with Vis, "eww!! That was a liiiittle too much information there, bro."

"Hey, all I'm saying is that I've never heard Lancel complain." He gave her a wink and this time even Robb couldn't help laughing. Thank the gods for Vis and his wisecracking mouth.

"Ok guys, parent alert, so maybe we could all try to behave age appropriately for a bit?" No chance of that but here's to hoping. At least they've been warned. They all looked at him as he was pointing to where their parents were walking up to them.

Just then Marg, Sansa and Rhaenys were joining them as well. Aegon leapt out of  Bran's lap as he saw who was walking right behind the girls.

"Daddy!"

"Hey!" Rhae swooped Aegon up in his arms. "How's my little man? Having fun?"

"YES! Jon showed me how to build a fire and Bran's been reading dragon stories." The boy looked over his dad's shoulder. "Where's mommy?"

"I'm sorry kiddo, but there was an emergency so mommy had to stay at the hospital."

"Oh." There was a small pause and then he asked, "but she'll help them like she helped Jon and the butterflies?"

"That's right."

"Then I'm not sad she's not here. They need her more than I do." He's adorable with that thoughtful frown on his little serious looking face. Same frown his father has on his face from time to time.

"That's very sweet of you, Aegon, but you know it's always ok to miss you mom, right?"

The boy nodded and smiled up at his dad who rewarded him with a kiss on his forehead.

Margaery tapped Aegon on his shoulder. "May I ask yhy do you call the babies butterflies?"

"Because they're part Naathi, and mommy told me that Naath is known for having lots and lots of beautiful butterflies. So if Starks are wolves, we're dragons and you're a rose then they must be butterflies, right?" Or maybe winged horses? Pegasus?

"Can't argue with that logic!" Marg flashed a big smile at Aegon who, still sitting on his father's arm, looked very proud.

"What's going on here?" Ned was pointing at the bonfire.

"Jon has made a bonfire for Marg and I to ward of evil spirits and negative energies as a way to wish us a happy marriage."

"Oh Jon, that's so sweet." Margaery rushed over, crouched beside him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you."

"Yeah, no problem." He quickly lowered his eyes to the ground. Oh gods, if I'd know it's get this much attention for it not sure I would've done it. He tried to occupy himself by stirring in the pot.

Dany was there instantly gently taking his free hand in hers. She spoke to him in almost a whisper. "Just breathe, my love. This is what family love feels like. It's alright. You're safe. Just take it in bit by bit one breath at a time."

Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Hold. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. He blew out a breath and nodded. A little wobbly smile on his lips.

"That's it." She smiled back at him and those beautiful purple eyes looked at him with such affection. "I love you." Quick kiss on the lips and she got back up.

It was then he realised that Marg had been sitting quietly by his other side, waiting, and only when Dany got up so did she - with another quick peck on his cheek.

Clearing his throat he said, "dinner is ready, so please grab a bowl and help yourself to a serving."

"It smells delicious!" Sansa's kind voice sounded quietly behind him. "What's on the menu?"

"In the Watch we called it 'soldier stew' - it's basically ground meat, bacon, smoked sausages, beans, some chopped tomatoes and onions, and a mix of spices. On the side is some freshly made bread."

"Wow! My big brother the master chef!" Sansa teasingly gave him a little shove with her shoulder.

Robb chuckled, "you're saying you can only cook 'soldier food'?"

"Unfortunately yes." He sighed pretending to be disappointed in his own abilities. "Sadly it was just too much of a hassle to bring a cook and maids with us out on missions. Too many unnecessary people to protect." He smirked and winked at Robb.

"Oh, thanks for the info Mr. Sassy-Pants!" His brother flashed one of his signature bright smiles and winked back.

There was a low rumble of sporadic laughter around the fire from the rest of the company. He looked around making sure everyone had a bowl, before scooping up some stew for himself.

"Cat, is there a chance of me holding my children again today or—"

"—not a chance, buddy! They're mine until tomorrow! You can get to kiss them goodnight before we go back indoors, but that's it."

Chuckling he sat down his bowl and held his hands up in the air as a sign of surrendering. "Duly noted, Lady Stark," he said and lowered his head in respect.

The exchange was sprinkled with laugher from everyone around them.

"You hear that, sweetlings." She was looking at Adei in her lap and Amador in Rhaella's, "you'll be sleeping in same room as Grandma Cat and Grandpa Ned tonight."

Everyone erupted in loud laughter at the surprised look on Ned's face.

"Don't worry dad. For months now they've been sleeping through the night. You shouldn't have any trouble."

Playfully placing a hand on his heart and eyes to the sky, his breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank the Old Gods and the New!" Then Ned caught his eyes and winked. Love you too, dad!

"Compliments to the chef; it tastes as delicious as it smells." Once again Sansa's gentle voice called to him.

"Thanks sis. Glad you like it." Leaning in he kissed her temple.

He looked around again and everyone seemed to be occupied in conversations left and right, so he looked to Dany sitting by his other side. She gave him an almost unnoticeable nod. He quietly stood up and went over to fetch his backpack. As he sat back down he turned slightly towards Sansa.

"I know it was your name day a couple of weeks ago and I owe you a gift."

"No no, Jon, it's ok, really!" She looked at him with big worried eyes. Oh sweet sister, still so nervous to ask for something for herself. If I ever get my hands on Joffrey, I'll...Jon! Not now. Happy moment, remember?

"Nonsense! Of course you deserve a gift for your name day, Sansa. Please, let me give you something?"

She took a deep breath before slowly nodding.

He could feel how everyone had gone quiet and instead watching the exchange between him and Sansa.

"It isn't much and I didn't wrap it." He pulled a porcelain bowl out of his bag.

Sansa's breathe hitched, "oh Jon, it's beautiful!"

"Careful!" Laughing he caught her in his arms she gave him a tight hug.

When she let go tears were streaming down her cheeks. "Thank you thank you thank you! I don't know what to say!"

"What did you get?" Bran was stretching his neck trying to see.

"This!" Sansa proudly lifted the bowl in her hand.

"A broken bowl?" Arya asking disapprovingly.

"How dare you question Jon's gift for me! Just because you don't understand it's meaning!"

"Sansa, it's alright." He tried laying a calming hand on her arm, but she kept going.

"No, it's not ok, Jon." She glanced at him before turning to glare at Arya. "The gift was for me so the main concern should be whether I like it, not if others do!"

"Alright geez! Sorry I said anything."

Arya, the queen of sarcasm. He managed to hold in his laugh. Didn't want to hurt Sansa. She was finally finding the courage to bite back at their wild sister. It had taken months before she seemed to fully trust him. At first he didn't understand why she was so cautious, but when she finally started talking to him it all made sense. When she finally decided she could trust him and began telling her story it wasn't like diving into a pond here and there like with Arya - with Sansa it was as if the dam had broken and there was nothing holding back the flood.

She told him how school had been a living nightmare for her. Despite Robb and Dany doing what they could to protect her, they weren't in her year and thus didn't have same classes as her. Joffrey was always there. Teasing, bullying her, laughing at her and making fun of her. Everything about her - her clothes, her hair, her face, her walk, her voice, her handwriting, her notes, the way she held her pen, the way she ate, the way she held her cup, her walking, her standing. Everything! He'd follow her around the school hallways just to laugh at her. He'd send her notes in class, leave notes in her books and bag, send messages on her phone and all her online profiles. She could never avoid it. He was always there. She'd deleted all her profiles, stopped using her phone. Becoming completely isolated. He was still there. In her head. Like a ghost. She started cutting herself. Leaving scars on her arms. She started thinking of ways to take her own life. All just to get away from him. She only stopped after Ned had caught her one day as she was cutting herself. She said she'd never seen him so terrified and heartbroken. For a couple of years after that she was homeschooled, an Essosi therapist, Varys, had helped her through the worst. Joffrey and Ramsey were sent off to boarding school in Astapor, and she had dared getting back in school for her final year of high school.

Jon had just sat there quietly listening, steaming internally, and as Sansa was crying in his arms and fell asleep from exhaustion he was thinking of numerous ways he could kill Joffrey having it look like accidents. It had been part of his training after all. Killing wasn't just aim and shoot. That night he let his mind run down that very dark path he knew all too well. By the time Sansa woke up though, he had calmed back down. If he ever met Joffrey Lannister though.....if he caught him jaywalking the kid would never see the light of day again!

"Yes Arya, the bowl was broken but Jon has had it mended. With gold." She held up the bowl again. So carefully like she was holding an infant. The campfire reflected in her eyes. Mirroring her internal fire finally burning through? "It's an art form called 'Kintsugi'. It's an Eastern practice of repairing fractures in porcelain with varnish or resin powdered with gold. They believe that the breakages and repairs form part of the history of an object and should be shown, not hidden."

He felt Dany squeeze his arm as she'd wrapped both hers around it. He glanced to the side to see Dany watching Sansa intently. As he looked around he noticed everyone smiling and their parents all seemed to have teary eyes. He was just so proud of watching her standing up for herself. Literally. Be a wolf!

Sansa turned and looked him directly in the eye as she continued, "our brother helped me see that my scars are not something shameful. Marking a painful incident with gold dust is to accept it as a jewel. Kintsugi is a silent proof of survival."