#idk i feel like this is more common for older people in fandom spaces

[pumpkinpuffgirls]

Random talking, but despite the problems I've had with the PPG fandom.

It's the only fandom where I have people who aren't exactly friends, and some who aren't even mutuals. But whom we both have a mutual respect for each other. The kind where if we saw each other on the street we wouldn't exactly start chatting but we'd give a nod of understanding at each other and go on our way.

IDK I don't have that in many other fandoms aside from Pibby possibly, but PPG I know that for sure.

[diminuel]

Wanna hear something crazy re-“are these entitled commentators demanding updates actual readers?” question you just asked:

When I was in another big fandom, some…dedicated haters of the ship/character I liked would seek out BNF's and do basically what’s happening here: demand updates, criticize the characterizations but in the most wank-y way possible, etc, in order to make the creators feel like “real” fans of the ship/character hate the writer's work. More than one of the newer/younger authors&creators would end up quitting because of it! (Add to the death of real comments from real fans and the hater comments stand out waayyyyyy more ☹️, no wonder people just don’t bother after a while)

Yes this is psycho and yes it’s like, do you not have your own ships to have fun with??

(extra psychotic cus it was often by fringe members of the most popular ship (at the time anyway)?? Like, it’s ok! Go enjoy your many fan works with your ship! For bonus points the popular ship was only really a *thing* in the newest live action adaptation and in the older fan works of the original medium (comics) because they changed the canon ages and like merged 2 characters together, so they were extra like, insecure about how there were older, more popular ships in the fandom pre-adaptation or something so they deliberately went after even works that predated the adaptations and would attack it for being out of character!? Idk it’s crazy.

But once the open hatred of the ship/character didn’t work to discourage the creators/fans (and in fact would fuel the creators! or they would just delete on sight), the haters then learned hide their open hate as entitled “fellow fans” demanding updates or leaving “criticisms” of the writing. Like if an author complained in tumblr or discord to their friends of actual entitled fans of demanding updates and mentioning it hurt their drive to keep writing out of spite, these dedicated haters that literally stalked(!) these fan spaces would then start sending those same styled update demands, knowing it would drive this creator away from the hater's hated ship/character! Like, get a job! Touch grass!

So if you are in a fandom with a known amount of dedicated haters towards your ship/character (like say to the point where they have their own nickname for those shippers something like “Heckers” or “H*ll*rs), one sadly needs to be aware that haters those don't just stay in their lane, even if it is the 2nd or even 1st most popular part of the fandom! Punching up or down they justify it either way as “but they are hurting MY fav ship/character by writing this therefore I’m “justified”!” Crazy)

But also, yeah Fandom etiquette has TANKED in recent years and with the new generation because of both the rapid growth and mainstream awareness, maybe for good and bad because. Say the example of SPN, the old “don’t bring up shipping and Destiel at Cons to the actors!!” attitude has changed, for the better really! It’s no longer treated like a dirty little secret! Yay changing attitudes towards the gay community! Destiel fandom existing and creating most definitely lead to Cas continuing to be on the show and Destiel being canon at the end! But also like, you now get fans directly threatening the lives of actors/writers etc on Social Media for “sinking” their ship or playing an evil character or asking TRULY inappropriate questions at Cons, etc. so…

In conclusion, some of these entitled questions and demands for updates are 100% legitimate bad mannered fans being entitled and rude, because bad mannered fans have always existed and now fandom is sooooo big and fractured there's basically no common etiquette. And also, more then 0% of them might be obsessive haters of your ship/character mimicking the style&language of that kind of fan BECAUSE they know it makes the creator annoyed and less likely to continue writing for the ship/character they hate! Crazy I know! Either way, ignore them! If they are real fans and readers of your WIP then they are not the kind of reader you wanna creator for anyway! And they also might be crazy haters trying to smother your creative flame cus they are jealous! Do your thing!

I’m old and have followed works that got updated 10 years (!) later! A few extra days/months/weeks means nothing to me and it should mean nothing to real fans! It’s what the subscriber button is for! And also if you as a fan wanna give the author incentive to write more, leave them real and engaging comments! T'is the true, renewable energy! Not using these nasty , smelly, smog making demanding comments as fuel aka the whale oil of comments! And commenters, when writing these motivational fuelling comments, don’t even mention it’s for motivation! Heck don’t even say something like, can't wait to see more! at a certain point, just be happy it was written at all in any amount and extend that gratitude to the author (with your desire for more being your fuel for your comment!)

(But if you wanna maybe get the bad mannered fans off your back, remove any exact dates from your authors note after a while and like make a progress post on Tumblr to link to where you can just edit and add your time estimates and “announce” delays there so the poor widdle fans don’t *have* to “dig” thru pages of wonderful art and other (🙄) fandoms the poor dears. But it may also help so you feel less pressured if you don’t make yourself beholdened to a schedule, unless you like the deadlines for your own productivity lol then I just salute you. But that way you can just point to any annoying demands for updates to that one page)

Good luck! Do your thing! Enjoy a new fandom and the new creative energy it brings! A starting a new fandom gives you such a different rush/energy than an old, mature fandom for you. Neither is better or worse but it’s fun to have both! Enrich your enclosure !

Interesting and to be honest not entirely surprising? I’ve been in fandom for a long time too, so I’ve seen people be mean for no reason other than they enjoyed being mean and belittling fellow fans for enjoying their fandom differently than they did.

And you see quite a lot of stupid things in the Supernatural fandom when it gets to ship wars and slinging insults at each other. I had the feeling that I've seen everything but eh, fandom can still surprise me.

I do think people should get different hobbies than pretending to be fans and leaving mean comments to discourage others from writing. I don’t know if that’s what’s happening because who honestly cares enough about my niche A/B/O Destiel fanfic to want to sabotage it now, after 50 chapters are already out?

Just the general idea that fic or fanart of one thing is somehow eating up valuable “screen time” that should be dedicated to other fancreations (of different ships, dealing with different themes) is ridiculous in my opinion.

I could somewhat understand people being tense and overdoing it trying to prove to themselves and the creators that they are the true fans of the show and that they need to be catered to. But why put that effort towards fanworks of a show that’s been over for nearly 4 years? Prospective creators and platforms aren't going to look at AO3 and think "this random person wrote this historical arranged marriage AU, the SPN continuation should better follow its lead!"

You are completely right that I feel fandom etiquette has tanked. The barrier between fandom space and creators is just too brittle or at times even nonexistent in today’s media/ digital landscape. And social media aren't curated fandom spaces, it' all kind of things mashed together. And some people don’t seem to understand that the fanart and fanfic they scroll past on twitter isn’t “content” that is being produced to garner their attention. Likewise, my fanfic isn’t content I’m paid for to create that is just there for people to consume. It’s for fun, it’s free, it thrives on community. Nobody pays for it, which means that clicking away and ignoring it doesn’t cost anything. It’s no waste of time or money.

Anyway. I want to have fun in fandom. I try to share that fun. And sometimes I just fall down into a hole. And not just a different fandom hole... This whole year hasn’t been easy and that affects how and what I can create even though it’s not obvious what is going on behind the screen if you just look at my output.

All in all, creativity doesn’t always translate to a regular and consistent update schedule.

[remusawoooo]

anon here, excited to read the essay! i asked you because i really like your takes and i see people in the more canon-adjacent parts of the marauders fanbase to complain about the extremes of the fanon one, though personally ive never really seen anything Too extreme, tho thats probably just tantamount to how well i curate my spaces i suppose (ive seen people say that fanon makes remus really “alpha” or makes sirius “bimbofied” and while ive seen hints of those extremes here and there, mostly it looks like it varies from person to person. ive just seen remus be more assertive than he probably is in canon, or sirius being more dramatic and “fem” than he probably is in canon). from what i know people like exaggerating events (the prank, etc.) or shifting some personality traits, but i dont really think thats a bad thing - i personally enjoy it. as long as they dont completely turn characters into stereotypes (though its a pitfall of every fandom, i fear), then whatever its just camp.

people are allowed to criticize stuff like that though, not taking that away from anyone, i personally just dont really care enough to be totally accurate esp since this hyperfix is kind of the bottom of the barrel for me LMAO. but i ask mostly bc im just curious to see what other peoples opinions are, and bc i think - especially in a fanbase like this - that its incredibly important to be at least a little critical with your media experience and reflect on it. saying “oh fuck canon we’re just having fun” is fine and all, i dont think anyone is stopping you, i think the personalities people have made up for characters that have zero screen time are super fun and the little ships are not everyones tea but like its fine. but even still, people should be way more aware of what characters theyre dealing with and from what franchise, and like reflect on any biases you may have. if youre making shit up for a random DE character, or retconning some sutff, okay, whatever, but be sure to not defend or like suddenly turn to really weird rhetoric. idk i think its the bare minimum in a fanbase like this

i definitely rambled way too much here, super sorry op! i hope this doesnt bother you, feel free to reply or feel free to not. i just really like hearing peoples thoughts on things, and i like your takes and your blog so i hope i didnt catch you by surprise. i really am just an outsider trying to look in LOL

hello anon, I'm sorry I lost your ask. I was writing on my laptop and saved the draft (but apparently had to press on alt, and didn't do it) so I basically lost your question and half of my initial response. Ty for sending in another ask!! Not a bother at all, i find this very lovely :D 

I was mortified to find that someone who isn't really a part of the fandom was perceiving me while I was complaining about fictional characters ahahaha. still, thank you for validating me and asking my thoughts on the mischaracterization of marauders!! I do talk about it daily, unfortunately, and without any prompt too. I'll try to gather all my thoughts here. I don't necessarily come across fanon as much as I did when I reentered the fandom and honestly, I can not be more with you about curating your space !! at the end of the day, I am just here to have fun, and really, pointing out these issues is not a good time at all! But I do post a lot about these, I can't be bothered to bottle up any thoughts lol.

I think the major issue I have with current interpretations is the underlying bigotry that comes along with it. There is a lot of unchecked problematic content that doesn't sit right with me.

Flanderizing characters in fandom interpretations is not limited to marauders fandom obviously. any popular media will face this because so many of us want to interact with one character so their traits are simplified for easier consumption and to find a common ground. this is also not limited to new marauders fandom. even in the older era, leather jacket-wearing, motorbike-driving quintessential bad boy siruis was a thing. so I won't nitpick on silly simplifications.

I just want to say that this isn't about me wanting everyone to have the same interpretations as I do about the canon. I follow so many lovely people and I don't agree with all of their posts. But, we all just simply share the love for these characters in the text and form an imaginary community. So, if we were to remove all the issues I will mention, it is still very well possible to have different personal takes.

Here are some of my issues:

Queerness, Gender roles, and misogyny:

My biggest problem is the representations of queer relationships. the fandom packages these couples in a strange and obvious heteronormative mold where the individuals fit into male and female gender roles. mlm and wlw are now an “f/m”* stereotype and characterization gets affected by the ships. Heterosexual relationships shouldn't have these limitations either, anyway. There is no one way to be a woman or a man. With queer relationships in particular, we have reclaimed the word queer now but it was used to describe the unconventional weirdness in the relationship. We didn't fit into the normal portrayal of a loving relationship. So, it really bothers me, even in fiction, that queer ships are popularly consumed in a way that represents a traditional template. (*this is not about gender itself but the gender roles! f/m can very well be queer!). 

Let's take the biggest victim in this fandom: sirius.

Sirius’ portrayal concerning his gender and sexuality has heavily changed his characterization in the fanon. We have a character who is popularly headcanonned as trans and is it a coincidence that all their traits have changed from the og material? Sirius is suddenly vain, whiny, and dumb. Canon doesn't suggest this interpretation, it has to have stemmed from somewhere. It's the implicit bias. Sirius becomes a caricature of what a woman “should be”. When we focus on sexuality, there is the suddenly short twink sirius who has the same new traits- proving the point of fulfilling gender roles. These characteristics are a stand-in for the “female” role of the traditional relationship and it becomes more clear in the example of new age wolfstar. Remus is now the big alpha stoic manly man- the obvious stand-in for the “male” role. I could go on, it is apparent in the way you can see remus becomes a caretaker and sirius is taken care of.

The point I am trying to make is not to discourage gender/sexuality hc. I love them, keep them coming. But, why is female sirius not tall suddenly? It is not inherently bad at all to have a feminine and masculine pairing! But why do we need to change the constitutions of these characters to consume their relationship?

I'll keep dropping disclaimers because I hate being misinterpreted: I don't obviously mean every single person is doing this or that doing one of the things means doing the other too. 

Race:

It is related to the point above. I was personally so excited to see the popular desi james hc. Even in fanon, I have never seen such a prevalent and encouraged brown rep, it was quite sweet to come back to that. But the problem is the change of characteristics that comes with race hc. Desi james is also a manly dude who is big and buff as opposed to the white petite and delicate regulus within jegulus ship. The melanin is directly proportional to the manliness here. 

This is a propagation of race stereotypes. Maybe jegulus was a bad example because usually there are seen as blank templates. I will raise the argument that this can't be all we can come up with for blank canvases then. Either way, my point about race still stands when you repeatedly design interracial queer relationships so they fall into heteronormative roles. Anyway, same issue with wolfstar when there is a brown remus.

Canon, JKR, and hypocrisy:

Refusing to engage with source material is funny when we are picking characters out of it. the interpretations of the characters will be from their book. otherwise, they are just original characters with the same name. you can add onto the traits and a lot of the time fandom comes to a consensus regarding a few things! This is common in every fandom but I don't think I have seen such reluctance to not only critically engage with media but also shame others who do. We are surely in special circumstances with this fandom but I really do think jkr and how we navigate the fanon should be two different things.

Most of us don't condone jkr or even remotely agree with any nonsense she spews on the daily. Most of us can see the problematic nature of even consuming this media and staying in this fandom. It is one of the reasons I even left the fandom. Most of us are simply doing our best to engage carefully while distancing ourselves from her. So, it is quite laughable when some love to take the moral high ground for rejecting canon while still engaging with the same characters. (the rejection of canon in question being sirius’ height, lol)

(Sirius' height is quite a polarising fact apparently. Unfortunately, the point about height is also discussed so disingenuously. When I talk about sirius’ height, it is not really about him being 6 or 7 feet. It will not really impact my life. It is about what it represents. He is bimbofied as he becomes short. It's an issue of "WHY" again.)

Of course, this isn't an accusation of intentional bigotry from everyone here. The problem with this fandom is that the people in it tell themselves that it is progressive and to run away from the problematic creator as much as possible. We are not progressive if all we do is co-opt queer and racially diverse identities on such a superficial level. The bias manifests in subtle forms. I just wish we check ourselves from time to time, that's all. 

There is a lot of hostility when we try to discuss issues in the fanon. Things are interpreted in the most misguided way to just win the argument. Like I said in the beginning, we all just want to have a good time. That also means creating a welcoming space for vulnerable groups (especially when the same identities are used to pat yourselves on the backs for inclusivity points). I didn't even cover everything btw, I just wrote about the issues that concern me. queer and poc also partake in biased representations, I also probably have some biases that I didn't identify yet. I just think it would be super neat if everyone tried to make an effort to unlearn and engage with media without hurting anyone. 

I have other issues but they are all just super subjective opinions and smth I can ignore when others do. ex: I really don't like giving tragic backstories to bigots in the story. Not every supremacist loser has a trauma that forced them into oppressing people! There is also "tropeyfication" of all major ships. Just an overall issue in the reading world I think, though.

Anon, I didn't mean to make it preachy in any way btw. You probably asked for a silly little rant and I went full lecture mode, so I apologize for the tone shift!! I mentioned these because every other issue can be brought down to these imo. Like you said, I also don't have any fixation on everything being canon-compliant. I only complain by asking about the thought process behind certain kinds of changes, if that makes sense! I hope this wasn't a drag really and you can see where I am coming from. If I misspoke anywhere, pls lmk. Thanks for sharing your opinions too!!

This is a long long rant, anyone who read everything, you are wonderful and patient. Thank you for taking the time. This huge post and the content can make you think, “who cares this much?” or “it's not that serious” and yaa it really isn't that serious. The characters aren't real but we all are. the identities projected are real. so, it does matter to talk about this.

Everything said this is a fun place to be once you find your own corner in the playground.

[pynkhues]

Hey, really love your succession meta, I hope this is welcome in your ask box. Idk if this is something you talked about already, but there is this persuasive assumption in the general fandom space that roman was the only kid who suffered physical abuse ever that in my opinion isnt really supported in the text/subtext. The way the past abuse of all the roys is talked about, to me, always implied a wealth of countless, other traumatic experiences that are simply not talked about and may very well be physical abuse. To me it feels like it was set up this way to fire up the viewers imagination and illustrate the sheer, unspeakable magnitude of the abuse. I just cant see Logan never losing his temper and getting physical with the other sibs but I struggle to put into words why. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think Rome was the only kid facing physical abuse? Youre always so eloquent in your analysis and demonstrate a complex understanding of dv dynamics. I appreciate your work :)

Hey! Thank you for your kind words, anon, and it’s definitely welcome in my inbox!

Yeah, I’ve noticed that assumption about Roman a lot too, and it’s not one I personally agree with, although I do understand why people make it. Roman is, after all, the only one of the four children that the show explicitly depicts receiving physical abuse, and he’s the only one who really has his abuse talked about by the other children (interestingly, on both occasions Roman’s abuse is actually weaponised against other characters, not against Roman. Kendall uses it as a way to try and hurt their father in 4.02, and Shiv uses it as a way to say that Kendall deserves greater punishment from their father than he’s receiving in 2.01).

I actually would say that we’ve had pretty explicit evidence that Kendall received physical abuse too, namely in the way that Logan came at him at Connor’s ranch after Kendall’s relapse in 1.07 (especially because I’d argue Kendall was doing in that scene what Roman has done a few times now by seeking out the hit, and the reason Logan held off was less about not wanting to, and more that he punishes his children by not giving them what they want), and in Logan hitting Iverson with the tin of cranberries in 1.05. I talked about the latter in this post, but I’ve always read the blocking of Kendall behind Iverson as a way of having a flashback without having a flashback, and the way that the episode ties Kendall and Iverson’s experiences as the same I think underscores that.

(It’s hard to comment on this particular point without seeing the scripts, but Arian Moayed has said in an interview too that the script for 4.04 had Stewy say that he’d seen Logan through a shoe at Kendall which I do think is likely meant to echo what Shiv says about Logan beating Roman with a shoe in 2.01 too, but given the scene was condensed, I’ll leave it out as canonical evidence at this point).

As for Shiv and Connor, yeah, I do think there was physical abuse for both of them as well, and I think it was probably fairly common for Connor when he was very young, and probably infrequent enough for Shiv for her to push it down (honestly though, given her character, I wouldn’t even be surprised if a part of her re-wrote it in her head as a positive after the fact. Getting hit means, after all, that she’s one of the boys).

So it does beg the question of why Roman’s abuse is easier for them all to acknowledge. I have a few theories about that, but ultimately, I think it comes down to an adolescent othering of Roman by Shiv and Kendall, and all four of their relative proximity to each other in their formative years.

Alan Ruck has said that Connor’s about fifteen years older than Kendall which puts him in a unique situation growing up where I imagine there’s a lot about his childhood through to his young adulthood that the Golden Trio simply don’t know due to the age gap. They obviously know bits and pieces – what happened to Connor’s mother for instance, Logan’s temporary abandonment, and the situation with the cake – but I’d generally say that those are life events that scaffold a childhood, they don’t provide the detail of it.

The child desertion that came with Logan’s temporary abandonment too would also have been extremely formative to Connor as a character. We don’t know when this was (although I do have my own theories on that too), but it would’ve fundamentally changed any existing dynamic between Connor and Logan, and I think we see that quite clearly in the man Connor is. His people pleasing, his co-dependency, his need to control the terms of his relationships (notable in the entire context of his relationship with Willa), his fear of rejection, and his fawn response to certain situations are all symptomatic of childhood abandonment. I imagine a lot of that started after Logan’s desertion, but then likely were compounded with Logan’s re-entry into his life, and I think that grew into his sort of subservience and performed affability which was likely inherently tied to the fear of being abandoned again.

In that sense, I think there was probably less physical abuse with Connor as he got older because he learnt how to navigate their father’s temper and stopped testing it / always acquiesced out of a fear of being deserted again. If most of his physical abuse was when he was a child or a teenager, well, Kendall, Roman and Shiv hadn’t even been born, there’s already a remove for them in terms of their relation to it.

With Kendall, Roman and Shiv, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Roman being sent away to school in Delaware while Kendall and Shiv were both living with their father still and going to school in Manhattan. There’s a childhood separation there when it comes to Roman, yes, which breeds its own sort of ‘othering’, which I’ll come back to, but I do think there’s a lot of evidence in the show that depicts Kendall and Shiv as forming something between a ‘half and half’ and a ‘trauma-shield’ sibling relationship.

I’m getting a bit scientific here, so I hope you don’t mind, but a half and half sibling relationship is described as consisting of ‘the reenactment of traumatic events with their sibling due to the flawed attachments the sibling has to their caregiver. This sibling relationship is often the most violent, and is seen as a love-hate relationship with each other. This often plays out as the siblings’ relationship becomes too important as a substitute source of nurturing and threatening as a potential cause for abandonment. The siblings are confused about their psychological connection to a caregiver, and act out a push/pull relationship with each other to achieve maximum comfort from that caregiver.’

On the other hand, the trauma shield sibling relationship is when siblings ‘use each other as a shield from the abuse and interrupt the development process. They become fixated at the same developmental level and exhibit similar interpretations of their struggles despite the chronological age difference.’

The show regularly depicts Kendall and Shiv as being mirrors to one another – they are the winning dog, the rightful heir, the only real competition to one another, and now the only two to be parents and continue the lines of succession – and I think we’ve seen the effect that’s had on both their lives. They have moments of genuine intimacy and trust, they defend each other, they reach for each other when things are blowing up and become active participants in each other’s attacks on others, just as they also are the most ruthless with one another, the most violent, they weaponise each other’s weaknesses (both real and perceived) and have tried to ‘kill’ each other more than any other iteration of the siblings.

I also think that they both are in extreme denial about the abuse they received, and I think that they enable that in each other and shield each other from the realities of it which is easier to do when Connor and Roman weren’t there for it, and easier to do when they have each other to reiterate the artifice of their lives. God, one of the things that’s so great about the karaoke confrontation in 4.02 is that it kind of lays that out. Kendall and Shiv work together in that scene in a way that shuts Roman and Connor out at best and at worst uses their abuse and neglect to make a point while never saying anything about what Logan’s done to them. Shiv might bring up Logan advising Tom on the lawyers, but even that is a way around the things we’ve seen Logan do to her, and Kendall’s literally behind her the whole time. They’re in-step in their refusal to acknowledge what their father’s done to them, just as they’re in-step in forcing their brothers’ abuse out into the open to make a point.

I think this dynamic likely established itself around the time Roman was sent away to school, because I think Roman being sent away fed into Kendall and Shiv’s shared narrative that they were the prized children. It likely did have this degree of othering for Roman which emphasised his perceived weakness in the eyes of all three of the Golden Trio, and I think he likely had readjustment periods when coming home for the holidays that did see him hit more. I think those periods likely let Kendall and Shiv off the proverbial hook until he inevitably went back to school, where they could control their own abuse narratives again through their shared understanding of what the ‘story’ was.

This has gotten very long, haha, so look! This is a roundabout way of saying that I think Logan’s parenting style has been divide and conquer for as long as he’s been a parent, and that that has coloured all four of their understandings of their own abuse. The difference is that Connor and Roman were cast out, and the fact of being cast out at all means that abuse and neglect has a light shone upon it. It gets some oxygen, it gets to breathe, which makes it real. Kendall and Shiv weren’t cast out, they were kept together in their father’s house in Manhattan, and I think getting to stay behind closed doors in the dark let them hide even from Connor and Roman. It didn’t see the light, it didn’t get any air, so it was never real. I think it allowed them the ability to hide, deny or re-write their abuse, and I think they used (and still use) each other to do it.

[doberbutts]

Okay well I watched the first episode of Blood Origin and honestly my thoughts are:

I just don't understand why people are so resistant to changes/new plotlines/some lore breaking of *recent* franchises but gobble it up when it's older. People telling an untold portion of a common tale is well established in storytelling culture. The first example that springs to mind is Lancelot, who straight up does not exist in original Authorian legend and was a FRENCH invention when the myth spread. Nowadays, most casual enjoyers of King Author stuff don't bat an eye to Lancelot's presence. Lancelot, who comes to mind, because Sapkowski writes said Lancelot to be in love with Ciri, and we're totally cool with *that* but not with changes to Sapkowski's work.

It's really telling that there's such a bigoted negative reaction to this because honestly? The black people so far have been BLACK black, darker than me, darker than even my black family sometimes. I'm enjoying seeing melanin in fantasy don't mind me. And the hair on the sisters is excellent, I'm liking the costuming, and I *really* like Eile.

The accents are kind of all over the place. Both as individual characters but also as the actors themselves. Sometimes Fjall goes from generic American accent to some form of fake Irish to ????european???? and back and it's distracting and weird. HOWEVER I do like the Irish and Welsh accents in high born kingdoms, because too often those accents are for commoners and poverty only, and this sort of turns the trope on its head.

I'm not sure how much I like the pan-Asian vibe I'm getting from some of the props and architecture. Some things look vaguely Chinese while others solidly Arabic while others a weird fusion of Indian and Korean and it's just odd to me. At first I thought it was because of clan structures but then I saw that it's just sort of everywhere. I have 0% Asian in me so I'm not really a good authority to speak on it but it's a weird vibe, a little Orientalist to my eyes. I'll freely admit that I like the aesthetic since I was raised pretty pan-African but I recognize that most continentally grouped cultures don't love that and it's mainly the black diaspora that's embraced it because we don't really have much of a choice.

I STILL feel that doing away with this short-season "but the episodes are an hour long!" nonsense would help pacing so much. Literally every time I thought the episode was going to come to an end, it's been roughly at the 20-25 min mark, which a standard TV episode would have been ANYWAY. So there's not really much point to having this be 4 hour-long episodes when it could be done better as 12-15 20 minute episodes... which would be the eqivilant of a short season while 24-32 is a more "standard" season (instead of 8 hour-long episodes). It gives you more time to flesh the characters and plotlines out while also allowing you the chance to trim some of the long-and-boring content people get tired of watching.

I really do feel bitter that the witcher tags continue to be people making racist and misogynistic memes instead of a fandom happily discussing a pretty strong first episode that introduced a billion fantasy characters of color. It really sucks that black people in fantasy is received so poorly when my inner 10 year old is happy to see people who look more like me having fun with the genre. I long for the day when I can exist in a fandom space and happily discuss my favorite black characters without having to justify their existence every 2 seconds.

Oof that CGI is pretty rough though. Which surprises me because the S2 CGI was not this rough so idk what happened here. That monster in the first episode is, uh, bad. And the background in the weird magicky place is also pretty, uh, bad.

I don't understand why the first witcher being an elf would piss Geralt off except maybe because that means Jaskier knows more about witchers than Geralt does? All of Geralt's iterations- the books, the games, the show, the comics- are pretty chill with elves as long as they're pretty chill with him. He only pursues certain elves and elf-blooded mixed race people when they pose a direct threat to him or his loved ones. Same as humans. So I don't really get that line at all unless, as said, it was more a "wow Geralt's gunna be pissed that I know this story and he doesn't"

[gaykey]

hello! i've never been on anon here before, but i have been Thinking About Something recently, so i am here to ramble :D

i'm a relatively new shawol — started stanning around early/mid 2020 — but i've been a k-pop stan for over 6 years now, and the one thing i've always noticed is how possessive some fandoms are over idols?

like with nct, for example, a member will post a picture and the comments will be full of "WHO TOOK THIS?? IS HE DATING SOMEONE????" not to mention how people reacted to chen's news :(

but i've never once seen that happen with shinee, at least so far. i might be totally wrong, but i feel like shawols give shinee their personal space, and that the members themselves encourage seperating their personal lives from their personas. i just think it's so healthy and wonderful to see, and... idk i'm just very happy about it :P

thanks for reading my little (very long) ramble. toodles!

hello!

i mean, it has definitely happened, anon.

when it came out that jonghyun was dating shin sekyung, for example, there was an uproar.

people unstanned. it's was a big scandal in the fandom. and there have been other things like that over the years. people tend to forget moments like that when looking back at fabdom history, and we shawols love to put ourselves on a pedestal.

but no, shawols aren't totally innocent.

that was a while ago now though, and for the most part, the fandom has matured. a lot of us were teenagers back then, but now we're mostly in our mid to late 20's and older. the age of a fanbase really makes a difference.

and yep, the members themselves are very good at creating that boundary. they share things with us, but make it very clear that they have their own private personal lives that we aren't privy to. kibum especially is very good at it. he gives just enough to make fans feel connected to him, but also let's it be known they we aren't owed that information y'know?

both of those reasons are probably why overall, shawols are pretty chill about them having relationships and stuff, and have a more healthy outlook of the idol x fan, parasocial relationship thing.

again, there are probably still people around with the toxic 'how dare they have private lives?!' kind of mindset, but they're definitely less common now.

[lenievi]

Hey so I’m curious about your feelings on bones having a daughter? It’s just something I’ve been feeling conflicted about lately. Like on one hand I think it adds an interesting layer to his character. On the other hand it just seems like something that he would feel guilty about, assuming that it’s not a close relationship, which people sort of go back and forth on since he would be pretty absent but he also just seems like such a caring and loyal person so it can be hard to imagine him just not being around on any level for his kid. I also struggle a bit with the fact that so many people write her as being so young, which isn’t a bad thing but I always imagine her as a teenager or young adult, which, depending on how long Bones has been in space and part of the fleet, would also likely impact how close they are. Like did he leave when she was a young child so they never had the opportunity to be close or did he leave when she was a bit older so they had a relationship before he left?

I'm conflicted about him having an ex-wife jahdjshfjgdjgfj

This is gonna be headcanon heavy and maybe not really what's common? idk Because the fandom expects it, I generally have him be divorced and have a daughter in TOS. In my mind, he married young and had Joanna when he was in his very early 20s (like 22yo) and was studying medicine. He wasn't ready to settle down, he wasn't able to be there for his wife or his newborn daughter, and within two years after Joanna's birth, the wife had enough and filed for divorce. That led McCoy to join the service.

So in my 'verse McCoy has never been around. He provided for his daughter, and the older he got the more he started to reach out to her, but it didn't always go well. (In my mind, Joanna is bitter and blames McCoy, especially during her teenage years.) He feels regret over his choices (and more and more the older he gets), but he's imho a career-driven man (like Kirk), and he doesn't regret his life in general. (in my hc he reconnects with Joanna after Joanna has her own daughter, and he tries to be a good grandfather)

I think it's rare for Joanna to be young in TOS-based fics (not unheard of though), but in AOS fics, she'd be young. I think it's usually assumed she was born in 2249 - that makes her 16-21 during the five-year mission in TOS. But would make her just a kid during the AOS timeline. When Kirk and McCoy met in AOS, Joanna would be 6. (But people might use different years idk) I personally don't headcanon that Joanna exists in AOS, though. The years are just all off, so I don't even hc that McCoy married the same woman. Since in TOS, at the time of him meeting Kirk in AOS, McCoy was with Nancy.

I also can't stop but think how Jim would think about his BFF going to space and leaving his young kid behind. He'd have a lot of things to say about that imho

So, even though I would occasionally prefer not to use McCoy having an ex-wife or a daughter, I created a version for myself I can get behind. It also allows me to deepen the connection between Kirk and McCoy (in TOS) because they can commiserate and bond over having kids and not knowing them. And I love to create connections between the relationship between McCoy&Joanna and Sarek&Spock, allowing McCoy to understand Sarek's position and being able to explain some things to Spock, things Spock can't see, because McCoy speaks from experience.

[bisluthq]

I think it ultimately comes down to a common sense thing. I'm about to be 17, so while I've been a fan (with the exception of Lover era and also most of the in between period of Red TV & Midnights) since Red, I obviously haven't been invested in the like stan culture side of things for the entire time I've been a fan because I was a very small child. I became a HARDCORE swiftie when evermore came out, and while I knew of Joe, I really did not care much about him. He was just there, and then he wasn't, and then she was dating Matty, and now she's dating Travis, just as she has dated many other people. People do that. It's not a wild concept.

I agree with your assessment of older people trying to marry her off. Very young fans (like younger than me, which baffles me. Me being born a year after debut came out is insane enough, but some of these people were born when Speak Now/Red came out and i just... Don’t think fandom spaces are a good place for people THAT young, or anyone really, as someone who was also in those space at like 13/14) scare me a little. Like it scares me that they are functional. It also scares me that are a lot of them are just SO, so so gullible. It's not there fault but it is very frustrating to encounter. It's the way of life. I know that. I was really fucking annoying when I was 13. Everyone was. I just don't think places like TikTok are the best place for them, nor were they for me.

This got very ranty - apologies. Dealing with dumb teenage stuff and feeling antsy.

I’ve been in fandom spaces since I was 11 (like going on websites and forums to look up stuff I’m interested in and I was also super into Yahoo! Answers) but the thing is when I was 11 the internet, while still a very strange place, was limited for me by virtue of dialup. I had to ask to “use the computer” and I had to ask again to “use the internet” because I was allowed more time on the computer than on the internet because the internet cut us off from the landline which was a big problem and also it was fuck expensive. We’d had it before I was 11 but I was really supervised before then and ONLY used it for school projects like to download a picture to stick on my project or something and my mom or dad or stepdad would do it with me also to make sure I didn’t download anything too big because again dialup so you paid for usage right and they didn’t want me downloading 50 million dolphin pics as 9 year old me would probably have done. At 11 I was allowed to “use the internet” but for like an hour a day tops if they were feeling very generous.

Then, when I was 13, we installed ADSL and I got *my* first computer that year. And since then I’ve pretty much been CHRONICALLY online - with some breaks for when I’ve been busy with like real world things but the breaks have lasted a year tops (and I mean that’s me being inactive in fandom not me not looking up articles and reading/watching things which I’ve done on the “breaks” too) like it really has been me being chronically online since I was 13 and if I’m dead honest, I’m not sure it was good for me. I think I was exposed to a lot of things I was too young for (but didn’t realize I was), I think I developed a more fighty personality, I think I wasted a lot of time that I could’ve spent doing something more productive (like obviously I did study and I did some extra murals and I had friends and I did and do exercise but if I’d spent my teens and early twenties idk doing my visual art - which I enjoy but am bad at - instead of arguing with people about Harry Potter and Doctor Who and shit like that, I think I’d be a better person for it).

I also believe that the internet’s changed a fair bit and not in a good way for kids - fandoms are now predominantly run through personal accounts, rather than on specialized forums, and platforms like TikTok and Insta are legit not super safe imho for kids to be active on because… kids are reaaally fucking stupid simply because they are kids and in my day being a BNF in fandom sorta just was cool for u but these days you could monetize it and idk about even kids your age thinking about socials as a career because they’re chronically online. Nothing wrong with doing Internet as your job but I don’t think it’s a decision kids should be making that early.

and yes, kids are gullible and lack life experience and often lack empathy (this is something that develops as you get older from a dev psych perspective - kids can’t really conceptualize it properly and they’re not supposed to be able to developmentally because they need to develop a sense of self first).

ultimately though, I’m not these kids’ parents or auntie or big sister (and neither are you) so we can say like “this doesn’t seem crazy good for them” but beyond that eh. They’re gonna say stupid stuff because they really shouldn’t be THAT online in the first place lol. Nothing wrong with enjoying whatever it is you are enjoying at 13 but being active in fandom spaces isn’t the best for you imho and if it were my kid, I’d limit screen time and actually tbh if it were my kid I’d like make an effort to be involved in the fandom too to a degree to see what’s going on and that my kid isn’t following complete psychos. Like if my kid was super into idk something I know fuck all about and don’t participate in the fandom of, I’d make it my mission to find out what’s going on there. I think a lot of millennial parents are doing that, I wouldn’t be special. But a lot of Gen X parents, while also very into internet, don’t seem to fully grasp what’s going on here. And Boomers are REALLY confused by internet so the contingent of Boomers with kids in their teens (and there are some) are really gonna do the 2024 version of what parents did in the 70s/80s of like “okay go out and be freeeeee” and idk that they should be doing that lol.

Anyway, this was also a rant, but I think it’s on parents.

[vanillacoolatta]

the fact that i am fully aware there is an even greater population of 12 year old (as opposed to 14+) stans on twt than tumblr is like. especially nauseating esp with what has been happening recently. obv no fandom is perfect including the tumblr ones and i dont have twt so im sure the stuff ive seen is cherrypicked but the stuff i have witness to is just so. toxic?? like im sure there are good ppl on twt too but since they have such a huge platform and are constantly in the spotlight i feel like its almost poisoning those ppl or smthn yknow

[olderthannetfic]

Are there any openly trans guys from the mailing list/zine fan eras? I can’t believe that the LJ/tumblr fan generations would have been the first to use fic and fannish spaces to help sort out our own genders, but I don’t hear anyone talking about older guys. Idk, don’t want details on anyone who doesn’t want the info out there and I wouldn’t be surprised if people want privacy, just wondering… how much of that kind of history is actually there? How much old slash meta is like those 90s queer/butch essay collections where it keeps being like oh hm that author’s last name and writing style are familiar, guess this really is an old essay… :P

--

Not that I can think of, but that proves nothing.

How often do you hear anybody on tumblr discussing anything pre-LJ?

I don't mean "K/S is where slash fandom started" quotes from Fanlore: I mean personal experience. There was spockslash (RIP, legend!). There are a few people who talk about the zine era occasionally. There's almost nobody who talks about usenet or mailing lists from first hand experience. When we went to rescue yahoo groups, it was hard to get anyone to give a fuck because almost all of the Olds on Tumblr are LJ era Olds.

Pre-LJ Olds who are still in fandom are on Facebook.

--

One thing to keep in mind is that the 25-year-old trans guys often came out like five years ago...

And the 35- and 55-year-old trans guys also often came out like five years ago.

I went looking for Gender Stuff in the 90s, and it was all about trans women who wanted bottom surgery and experienced dysphoria. That wasn't even a gatekeepery jerkface thing back then. It's just where the understanding of transness was at. I think writings about trans men lagged behind a lot of other queer stuff, and a lot of trans dudes didn't figure themselves out until pretty recently.

I mean, you clearly know all this if you're referencing butch essay collections, but just saying. For posterity. Or the Youths™ or whatever.

I think there can be a disconnect in trans guys' spaces where the younger guys are looking to the older guys as mentor figures, but the older guys are just as early in their transition process and don't have the spoons, let alone the experience, to be that for them. (This is a complaint I've heard from guys I know.)

My guess is that that history is not there in the sense that I suspect any such dude had not figured out he was a dude during the zine era. It wouldn't just be that he was closeted. It would likely be that he didn't know at the time and figured it out with everybody else in the 00s or 10s. But that's a guess.

--

The further back you go in zines, the smaller the population. We're talking a few hundred to a few thousand people depending on which bit you're looking at, not the hundreds of thousands on LJ or the millions on FFN and AO3. So while I assume there's somebody, it might be like one single dude. Surveys suggest enbies are more common than trans men in fandom, and when we're dealing with such a small population back in ye olden times, that probable percentage doesn't add up to a lot of people. Out of our handful of hypothetical guys, are they still in fandom? Are they still alive? Will they have told me about their gender? There could totally be a dude I even know from cons or something, and if I haven't run into him in the past few years, I'd never know.

I can think of a few nbs, including one who lived as a trans man for a while before discovering that nonbinary was even an option, but I'd have to go check on exactly when they got into fandom. They might be more LJ than mailing list.

There are totally oldschool zine people who wrote m/m who explain it by going "Oh, I've always felt like a man inside", like whatevs, no big, don't all women feel this way?

If you wanted to interview an out trans man of the zine era, I don't know if I could direct you to one off the top of my head, but yeah, old-ass fandom sounds a lot like more recent fandom. I'm sure there's a fandom Patrick Califia kicking around somewhere. And if there isn't, maybe next year.

--

For a pro writer example, Billy Martin, formerly Poppy Z. Brite is an interesting dude. His 90s gothic horror books were such BL-flavor m/m, and slash fandom loved them back in the day. He was kind of an ass about fanfic, so I assume he wasn't in fandom, but you wouldn't know it from his books. Not quite what you asked about, but adjacent.

--

Fellow Olds, am I forgetting someone obvious? Anybody want to come out as Trans Fandom Grandpa to the Youths?

[stephdrawsjohnlock]

why do you ship rimmer and lister? i don't judge you or anything (you should hear about some of my ships lmao) but i haven't noticed anything romantic between them? idk you don't have to answer this i'm just curious.

Hey Nonny!

No offense taken, and I'll try to be as respectful as I can in my reply as well!

Before I begin, let me ask you, without malice: Why do you ship what you ship? Does it matter if it's canon or not? Is it because it makes you happy, or is it because the dynamic intrigues you, or maybe you're using a character as a placeholder for yourself to help understand your own trauma? There's a plethora of answers here that honestly is different for each individual, and really there's no "right" answer.

There are people who ship Kryten and the Cat, or Mycroft and an umbrella, or Anderson with Sherlock, or Snape and Sirius... I personally don't get any of the ships, but they're not my 'ship, and really, not my place to shit on it. Shipping just makes fandom a bit more dynamic and interactive.

The short answer to your question, for me anyway, is because it gives me hope, as do all my current ships. I'm an older cusp millennial, and I haven't had a serious relationship ever in my life. A commonality with all my ships, I've discovered, is that I have a "placeholder" character that I relate to, and in turn it just... makes me feel like there is still someone out there for me, that I'm not to old to find someone to share my life with; A John to my Sherlock. A loveably annoying life partner Lister to my grumpy, "unloveable" neurotic set-in-my-ways Rimmer. A smitten Crowley to my fussy Aziraphale. It's literally as simple as that for me on a personal level. AND because I like the chemistry of the characters interacting, and I like how other authors interpret that dynamic.

Canon-speaking though, a lot of my ships do come about if I feel that, in-canon, it could be a very real possibility and if their chemistry feels right to me. I explained it a bit more in-depth in the description box of this art-piece here, but the long short of it is "they're stuck in space forever, as life partners, and you can see the growth of their relationship over 30 years." Binge Series 1 all the way through to 13 (The Promised Land), and you'll see a dramatic difference from Rimmer/Lister S1E1 and Rimmer/Lister S13 TPL. Maybe I'm looking too much into it, but the post-Ace era episodes are especially kind of... married couple-ish? I can't really explain. There's a few scenes where you'll see Rimmer and Lister walk off together, or share an inside joke at the expense of another character, or Lister will be so DONE with Rimmer but still put up with him anyway after Rimmer "apologizes" in his own way, LOL. Also:

They have a ship the size of a small city, and even when Rimmer came back in series 9, they still shared a room. I KNOW in sitcoms it's fiscally better to keep sets to a minimum, but they... I dunno could have shown Rimmer and Lister in separate rooms at any time.

In fact, the one SINGLE TIME they did split rooms pre-Starbug/Post-Starbug, in "ME SQUARED", when Rimmer got annoyed with himself... He went RIGHT back to share a room with Lister again, so the "minimal sets" thing get rendered moot... "Me Squared" is the last episode of the first season... when they would have known if their budget got slightly bigger and they could have made them in separate rooms. But nope. 11 seasons Sharing the same room?

PLUS The argument could then ALSO be made that The Cat could then share a set room too... but nope. OH and Kochanski as well... to be fair their time on Red Dwarf together was in prison, but I digress. So yeah, sharing a bunk room on a ship the size of a small city? Seems sus, LOL.

"STOKE ME A CLIPPER", it was Dave who encouraged Rimmer that he could be more, and kept Rimmer's secret when he left, not even confessing to Kochanski what happened to Rimmer.

In the episode "BLUE", Lister literally pines over Rimmer for the entire episode, to the point where Lister dreams about kissing Rimmer.

"FATHERS AND SUNS", Lister makes a true effort to take Rimmer's advice and to be a better father to himself. I know it's a stupid little thing, but it's evidence that Dave does take things Rimmer tells him to heart even when they bicker, and it ends terribly for them, but there you go LOL.

"ENTANGLED", it's explicitly stated that Rimmer literally cannot survive without Lister, since Holly is no longer running the ship. They're essentially tied together until Dave finally dies for real.

"M-CORP", I personally feel like it was Rimmer who was the most determined to get Lister back. Maybe I'm biased because Rimmer is my fave character, but I dunno, that's the vibe I got from it.

"THE PROMISED LAND" is the most telling for me, and conveniently the most recent episode... It was the "Sun and Moon" convo for me that renewed my love for their dynamic. Lister sincerely told Rimmer that he needed Rimmer in his life, and Rimmer took it to heart, AND they don't make a "no homo" joke about it later on. It was lovely to me.

There's a tonne more that I personally see probably because of shipper goggles, but what do I know, LOL. I will give that to you, that in earlier episodes it is harder to see, but I promise, binge the whole thing as one and you can see them already growing on each other by series 2.

If not a ship, I've ALWAYS seen them as each other's best friend since at least series two. Both know more about the other than any coworker/room-mate should, and thirty years on, especially after Rimmer returns, it just seems they've softened each other's edges and made themselves a family. At the very least it's a nice "found family" trope, given how fucked up Rimmer and Lister's past lives were.

ANYWAY, SORRY, I rarely get to talk about Red Dwarf, so thank you for the opportunity!

The TL;DR of this is: I ship them because I'm an old romantic sap who ships other old idiots because they make me happy and hopeful for my own future, AND because I love the chemistry my ships have with each other. Simple as that! <3

Hope that answers your question, and thank you for asking it :)

[ghostietea]

Furuba autistic headcanons

With it being April, or autism acceptance month, I wanted to finally drop my list of characters from Fruits Basket that I read as autistic! This is based a lot on my own experience, as well as that of other autistics I know or have seen talk online. I hope some people can get something out of it, feel free to tell me what you think 😊, though please refrain from getting upset that I would dare suggest your fave is autistic.

Hanajima

Before becoming able to better control her powers, she would be constantly overwhelmed by the things she heard to the point that she couldn't even really go out in public. This reads a lot like sensory overload.

Constantly picked on in school because other kids thought she was weird. Eventually reclaimed this weirdness and turned it into a whole persona.

Seems to talk usually in a relatively flat tone.

Had trouble socializing with no friends outside her family until middleschool.

Has a very funny, dry sense of humor that I find very similar to a bunch of autistics I know, including myself.

Hatsuharu

Listen. You have seen the funky little man, you have seen the way he talks, the way he acts around others. He is, and I mean this in the best way, a weirdo. I do not know how you could look at him and see a neurotypical.

Once again, like Hana, Haru is funny in a way that feels very autistic.

Very flat, dry, tone delivery. Sometimes just Says Things that make everyone else go huh??? Suuuuper blunt. Doesn't emote facially a lot of the time.

When this man sees a social norm he doesn't get he WILL NOT follow it. Pierces his ears just because his hair got flak, defends Momiji wearing whatever he wants because sometimes y'know the social rules are just dumb and don't make sense. Especially dress codes.

Sometimes says things not befitting the current tone of the situation.

Represses (masks) a lot of his emotions, leading to outbursts that seem uncharacteristic.

His main childhood trauma revolves around adults branding him as "dumb" and ridiculing him. Haru, however, is super smart and wise!! Just in an offbeat way that not everyone may get.

Machi

Reads as very "flat" emotionally to the point that others would call her boring. Also has a flat vocal delivery.

Relies on specific habits or ways of doing things or else she gets super upset (her hatred of imperfection.

Has trauma surrounding adults completely misconstruing her intentions and thinking she's doing something malicious when she's not.

Generally behaves in a way that's hard for others to understand, one of her formative moments with Yuki was him saying he wanted to "see how the world looks" through her eyes.

Once again, trouble socializing.

Tries super hard to please her parents but in the end they still see her as somehow inherently "defective."

Listen. A lot of this one and the last two are mostly vibes, hard to verbally define. You just have to look at them and trust me.

Tohru

Displays behavior very reminiscent of masking throughout the story, a huge part of her arc is about how she hides a lot of herself and has a very controlled persona. I think it would fit very well if she had other autistic behaviors that she suppresed also it helps explain why she is relatively socially adept, it's learned behavior to make people like her more.

Yes she is very good at saying what others need to hear, but especially early on she is pretty blatantly imitating her mother's words. She only gets better at getting through on a more personal level later on (see her with Rin and Akito v. early series Tohru). She does this by relating her own experiences, a very autistic way of showing empathy that often gets us written off as self centered. The way she relays things her mom said could also be seen as this, and she even worries at a few points that she's being insensitive for going on about things like that.

While emotionally repressed she is hyper empathetic and feels other's emotions so strongly she cries.

Her speech patterns are all imitated from her father and she often copies verbal things from others (see Ritchan-san). Noted in canon that people think her way of speaking is slightly off/not befitting of someone her age. Additionally, her father was polite more sarcastically, while she plays it straight and sometimes takes things very literally or fails to get the message, indicating trouble with reading tone. Has numerous strange verbal tics, including saying parts of her internal monologue out loud without context.

Very expressive with her hands including waving them around and flapping them up and down.

Does have a bit of trouble with accidental insensitivity in social interactions, like how she constantly fixates on her mom and realizes that might bug the Sohma.

Has trouble paying attention in school since it doesn't have much to do with her interests

Her only friend until she was a middle schooler was her mom

Has a pretty unique outlook on things compared to others, people seem to think she's pretty eccentric. There's always a "this girl is nice but in an odd way, she's our weirdo and we love her" vibe.

Sometimes has an "inappropriate" emotional response to situations

Has a lot of trouble with change, similar to Akito. Which oh, look at the time, next hc coming up.

But first, a disclaimer. It is cathartic for me to read Akito this way, but with that reading comes the baggage that she would, mayhaps, be showing a more negative side of things... It doesn't bother me since it's a joint hc with other characters and she does develop at the end but yeah, general villain hc baggage. This is in no way me trying to excuse her being The Worst being autistic doesn't absolve you of being able to do wrong . Also, a lot of these points can and do have other explanations related to her upbringing, but things can be for more than 1 reason. With that said, she really strongly comes off as autistic to me, in a way that's sorta hard to explain. I wrote a lot more for her than the other, both because I felt I needed more to convince people and that this headcanon was more sensitive and I needed to be careful in my explanation. Also hey! She's my special interest within a special interest.

Akito

Shown to have a dislike of summer weather due to heat and brightness, could be due to sensory issues in tandem with sickness things. Also covers her ears when people raise their voice sometimes which is partially her trying to shut down opposition but also 🤔 can read a different way. She'd also avoids louder Juuni like Ritsu and Ayame because she can't handle them.

Wears pretty much the same outfit every single day. Said outfit is also pretty loose fitting.

Always seen sitting in a pretty unconventional way. Evidence:

Of course this is also the isolated in a cult thing and there is a level of her purposefully doing things to intimidate but: doesn't follow a lot of social rules (overly touchy with strangers, legit doesn't get that what she's doing is wrong, ect.). Repeatedly confused when people indicate she should act otherwise without explanation. Has a breakdown when this comes to a head and approximately says that "they" shouldn't expect her to know "common sense" if "they" never explained it to her, that the way that she was was her "common sense."

Often talks in a way uncharacteristic of her age when shown as a child in a more faux mature/pretentious way. Might just be the translation and idk how to explain it but her speech as an adult also seems off from what one would normally use in conversation. Additionally, when she tries to fake being friendly in her intro chapter, it comes of as extremely stiff and unconvincing.

Generally displays behavior that could be thought of as childish as an adult, but a lot of this behavior could also read as autistic (covering ears, emotional deregulation and meltdowns, ignorance of basic social norms, ect.). It's also important to note that she knows that this behavior makes her seem younger and more helpless to the older zodiac and uses it as a manipulation tactic. Has issues regarding people treating her like a child or only hanging out with her because of pity. While she does weaponize it, we can tell that this grates on her, as seen with her finally blowing up on Kureno, which is partially triggered by the maids saying some sorta infantalizing stuff about her. Irl, a lot of autistic adults and teens struggle with being infantalized for our behavior generally or treated as little babies that can do no wrong. Even in fandom, you see people doing stuff like jumping to call autistic adult characters, such as Entrapta from Shera, "minor coded." It is also common for us to have at least one bad experience with someone hanging around us out of pity. This is something that really gave me a similar feeling in Akito's arc. She's not a baby and she can understand and do better if she is given the chance to learn and break from all the freaky cult indoctrination she's been subjected to instead of just being constantly enabled. In the end, a lot of her growth is represented by her showing that she is capable of changing and being independent.

Shows particular difficulty with socialization, often sits by herself spacing out at social events. A lot of her fear is rooted in the fact that she doesn't know how normal relationships work, becoming overly reliant on the curse because she doesn't know how to make friends.

Clings desperately onto the notion of being "special" and in some way superior to others to be worthy and to make up for perceived inherent "flaws." It's the nd gifted kid burnout vibes for me.

Easily bothered by things that don't bother others. Feels emotions very strongly to the point of getting physically ill and has bad emotional regulation.

Relatively good at reading others in an analytical sense (though has more trouble when it comes to seeing how they feel about her since she's wildly delusional) but brings up her observations in a very cold, detached way and hurts people even on the rare occasion she didn't mean to. Has extreme trouble connecting to others and understanding their point of view. This makes her come off as pretty unempathetic even though that might not fully be the case. Also thinks that people like Momiji are trying to look down on her when they try to empathize with her. A lot of why Tohru can get through to her is that she manages to convince Akito that she's not condescending by relating shared traits and experiences. As I said earlier, autistics often empathize by sharing their own experiences with someone, and I know I often have an easier time confiding in other autistics because of a fear of being seen as lesser by those that don't understand me. I think the connection between these charachters and the way that Tohru manages to reach Akito like that while others couldn't makes a lot of sense through an autistic lense!

Additionally, when Akito herself gets around to trying to help others instead of just projecting trauma, she tries to reach out to the old maid by relating back to her own experiences. This however, doesn't work.

Has "cold" emotional reactions sometimes even to things that do make her upset. For example, how sort of calm and detached she acted after her father's death can make her seem uncaring. However, we know that this event did mess her up a lot and she is still (poorly) dealing with a lot of grief from the death of her father years later.

Copies mannerisms from others, the most blatant example is with Ren, who she directly parrots lines from as a child to Yuki.

Partly just her posturing, but gestures a lot with her hands when she talks. Also seen several times clutching her hands in her hair.

Deals extremely poorly with the idea of things changing to the point that it is a driving force of the story.

Does not understand when people tease her.

Ect. Ect. Ect. Listen, I could go on for ages but just trust me, the mean gremlin lady is autistic.

[quicktimeeventfull]

oooh I'd be really happy to see a list of older fics. got a question, what was the fandom's reaction to L's real name being revealed?

oh fantastic!! i love making rec lists, so i'll try to put one together at some point this week. in terms of L's real name being revealed (in english), what i remember was basically lots of excitement about the upcoming reveal, then a lot of bewilderment and frustration because his first name was literally just 'L.' there was also a lot of confusion about how to pronounce his last name, since you can kind of pick your poison with the english version, and the japanese version (ローライト) is either ro-raito or lowlight. i feel like everyone has more-or-less settled on lowlight, but roraito was a pretty solid contender for a while. also a lot of arguments that this was solid proof lawlight was real since the name is like. low-light. coded messages. idk that was silly both then and now, but i also think that sort of thing was more common back then due to the absolute dearth of canon gay content. this information had also been available in japanese for something like two years, but there was both more and less transmission between the english and japanese fandom, so it was still a surprise to a lot of people. this is 100% just my experience, though. i feel like fandom was a lot more segmented back then, since amalgamated fandom spaces like tumblr & twitter were either in their infancy or just nonexistent.

[cafeinthemoon]

The Senju brothers finding out their little sister is going out with Madara 💥

Lately I’ve been into family drama and such, so when anon requested this I couldn’t say no lol Btw thank you, anon, for this scandalous incredible idea 😘

In this scenario/list/idk we have the Senju brothers finding out their younger sister and Madara are seeing each other. As you might expect, the news provoke different reactions in each of them, but the main point is how she will deal with this situation.

So I’m gonna shut up now and leave you with this:

Fandom: Naruto | Senju Brothers

Warnings: none, just a heated argument and a looong list ahead

Symbols: 💙 | ◻ | ▶▶

Hashirama

Being Hashirama and Tobirama’s younger sister, of course you and Madara were known to each other, but being more than just a friend to him wasn’t in your plans… until now 😳

You used to admire and respect each other, not only because of the alliance between your clans, but mostly because you both were worthy being praised. Plus Hashirama has always been talkative about his best friend’s qualities, which slowly transformed the way you saw the Uchiha leader, but you only noticed this a few weeks ago

During a meeting/party/whatever at your brother’s house, Madara and you spent more time than usual talking to each other. Turned out that you discovered many things in common beyond the fact that you two were shinobi, including your views on life, politics, etc.

If Hashi noticed something, you couldn’t tell, but it was strange that during all the time you were there together he didn’t come to join you (not that you complained about it)

You and the Uchiha saw each other a few times on the next days, and the feeling of familiarity between you only grew. You weren't sure of how to call it. You were fond of each other, but saying that you were just friends didn’t seem to be enough now

You both agreed that it was too soon to name it as a date or something, so you didn't tell anyone, not even your brothers

You wanted to be sure of your own feelings before making a statement. Were you still friends? Were you really in love? Was it just a crush, a superficial attraction? You wanted to understand what was going on

During this time, Hashirama didn’t make a comment or anything that suggested that he was aware of this situation, so you were a bit surprised when one day, he came to talk to you about it

“So you and Madara are engaging in a secret romance and you dared leaving your big brother out of this, y/n? Where did you learn such behavior?!”

“Don’t you really know?”, you smirked

“Excuse me?!”

“Am I the first person in this family to keep secrets that involve Madara, Hashi?” 😑

THE REDNESS ON HIS CHEEKS WAS PRICELESS LMAO

Hashirama was your elder brother aka the person who has been taking care of you since your parents left this world, so not only his worries were valid, but he also had the right to know, so yeah, he was a bit disappointed that you didn't tell him first

Now, I think his feelings about this were not as plain as some can imagine. In fact, he had a mixture of contradicting feelings and ended up talking about them more than demanding an explanation from you

On one hand, he was happy because he loves you both, so finding out that his little sis and his soul brother might have started a relationship was exciting 💖

On the other hand, he was worried because you were even younger than Tobirama, while Madara was not only older but more experienced than you and he knew his friend’s flaws better than anyone else

However, Hashi was an understanding person and was willing to listen, so you explained your feelings and your reasons to him, as well as part of your conversations with Madara, pointing out that making things this way was a mutual decision, for the best of you two and the people you knew

He pointed out that despite not calling your meetings a date, you two were already thinking as a couple 😏

You blushed and asked him to keep quiet, at least for a while

He promised you he would not say anything, but not before hugging you tight and crying about how his lil sis was growing up so fast saying how much he was happy for you two 💓

Tobirama

Prepare yourself to get your ass smacked and burning for an entire week lmao

Okay, so as you can easily imagine, it didn’t take much effort from Tobirama to find out that something was going on between you and Madara

It wasn’t that you two were reckless, it was just that your second brother was not stupid an observing man (and tbh how hard it must be to keep a secret from a smart sensor shinobi, uh?)

Unlike Hashirama, who took some time to connect the dots, he noticed small changes in your routine and behavior since the start

Why have you been so quiet, distracted lately? What has been occupying your mind? You were spending more time alone and/or out, and (yeah, he noticed that) you weve more concerned about your looks and manners than usual. Of course you were up to something 

Besides, you’ve suddenly became too defensive towards Madara and the Uchihas in general. Anything Tobirama said that sounded slightly negative about them was promptly refuted by you. You seemed to have a deeper understanding of their ideologies now, as if you were having long conversations with their leader

So, it was with no surprise that you saw the storm coming ⚡

One day, Tobirama came to your room without warning and just by looking at him you knew he figured it out 

How did he find out? Hashirama and his big mouth, probably. Or did he follow you and saw you two together? Well, he could have simply traced your chakra and once he sensed Madara’s close to you, the riddle was solved. But did it matter now?

His first words: “What is it?”

You don't need an explanation: you little sis + Madara Uchiha problem™ + maintaining your privacy keeping secrets from him

And now you were a brat possessed with the Uchiha evil, and not just with any Uchiha evil but with MADARA’S Uchiha evil 🔥🔥🔥

There was no way for you to have a normal conversation in the current circumstances. You had a heated argument, and I’m sure you’re capable of imagining what it means to have a heated argument with Tobirama

“Tobi, listen to me, I-”

“No YOU listen to me you brat possessed with the Uchiha evil”

Your brother didn’t even let you speak. He stated that not telling anything to your elder brother was not only wrong, but some sort of betrayal, then started remembering serious sh*t from the past when you were so young that you couldn’t even carry a sword the right way and everything you’ve already heard from him countless times before

But now you were done with his incapacity of simply listen, so you just stated that your elder brother Hashirama already knew it and that it was you who asked him to keep it a secret just for a while

“Hashirama is our leader, and if he knows and approves it, that’s enough for me and that should be enough for you too!”

“Hashirama is too soft with you, and this is why you behave like this!”

“Like this how? Living my life without asking for your permission? Is that what you mean?”

“Being unnecessarily connected with a man with whom we need to be careful in our treats, that’s what I mean. Our elder brother purposely ignores the fragile spots of this alliance and you know it, so there’s no excuse for your attitude!”

“Speaking like this about our ally could be considered some sort of betrayal, Tobi. If I was you, I would be careful!”

“Why? Are you going to tell him in your next date?”

“GET OUT OF MY ROOM!”

“Yes, I’m getting out and having a serious conversation with our brother about this!”

“Tobirama, the war is over! We all have to move on, whether you like it or not! So instead of wasting your time with something that’s none of your business, you should go and live your life as well!”

Yes, you lost your temper, and you only realized it when your brother fell silent and lowered his tone

“You are right, lilttle sister. But let me tell you something. My way to show that I care about you might not resemble Hashirama’s, but my feelings towards you are not less deep than his”

You were heartbroken after he left, yes, but you had to stand your ground. Tobi could be very controlling if he was given space to, so you had to learn to deal with this early in your life. In this point you were better than Hashi, who was too easygoing for his own good, so you felt like you had to be strong on your resistance for both of you, otherwise Tobirama would dominate every aspect of your life without even realizing. You loved him as well, but your decisions didn’t have to always gravitate towards him

Still, you weren’t proud of your words about the war. That was a sensitive matter for Tobi. Despite his silence about it, you sensed he was offended. You knew you went too far 💔

The conclusion

Later, Hashirama came to mediate the conflict, and he had some words for both of you. When Tobirama and you found ourselves in the same room, you were about to start a new argument, but your eldest brother elevated his chakra and demanded you to be silent, bc now it was his time to speak

“Brother, I understand you are worried about our sister and I am sure she acknowledges your efforts to protect and guide her, but that doesn’t give you the right to interfere in her decisions regarding her own life. She’s right to remind you about our alliance with the Uchiha clan and to say that we need to move on. If moving on means starting a relationship with Madara in her case, things are what they are. It is her life, not yours. And do not think I haven’t talk to her about this. Y/n is no longer a child, Tobirama. She’s aware of the challenges of maintaining such connection with the Uchiha leader”

“Little sister, I understand that our brother’s way to express his worries uses to irritate you. It happened many times when you two were little. But that doesn’t invalidate the honesty of his intentions. He loves you and cares about you as much as I do. Besides, I’ve already talked to you about thoughtless mentions of the war. That was a though period for all of us, which includes your brother. You were not with us at the battlefield, that’s true, but you weren’t immune to the dark consequences of what happened at it. You mourned our siblings with us, but you were too young to understand everything that was involved. That was not Tobirama’s case. He doesn’t talk about it, but he has his reasons for that, and this must be respected”

Hashirama left you two hoping you would be capable of getting along again, which eventually happened, but at its own pace

The next day you found Tobirama working at his desk. He already acknowledged your presence, but that didn’t discourage you. You hugged him from behind and said you were going out to the river, and he could come with you if he wanted to fish. His first response was a groan

“Is there more people coming with us?” = “Is there any possibility of Madara showing up?”

You kissed his bristly hair

“No. Just us. I promise. And when we get back, I’ll cook fish for you”

Your brother’s next groan meant many things at once, “I agree”, “Thank you” and “I apologize” being some of them 😜

[princeanxious]

Trust is a Fragile, Fickle Demon.

Pairing: Analogical

Fandom: Sanders sides

Warnings: hurt/comfort, happy ending, mentions of childhood trauma, mentions of mental abuse, mentions of abusive parent, mentioned of past betrayed trust, trust issues, let me know if i missed anything!

Wordcount: 1.9k words

(A/n): this is sort of a short one, idk that im very proud of it, its written a little differently than I normally write so let me know if ya’ll like it? I tried!

Trust was something earned, gained, given, not expected. At least, to Logan, thats how it’d always been. The omega had learned young the mistake of trusting anyone so readily, a freely given token of connection that only served to hurt him in the long run.

Even now, Logan was aware his upbringing had been slightly rougher than his common peers. His therapists all readily, or subtly, pointed out that his alcoholic alpha of a single father who never should have been a parent to begin with was undoubtedly the root cause of many of his issues.

First of all of them was the lasting trauma of the emotional abuse he’d endured as a child and teenager. Never smart enough, never quiet enough, never clean enough. He was never enough, he was never going to be enough. He was a weak, broken, and useless omega in his father's eyes, and would never amount to anything more. And while he never wanted to believe it, often said he never believed any of it, he could only confidently say he didn’t truly believe even just part of it by the time he was 23.

Another was that he’d never been given any freedom to do as he pleased when he was younger. He never got to visit friends or do anything more fun than read at the library(and boy did he read any chance that he got back then). His first real social outing was when Roman, his then longtime college roommate and current best friend, had playfully offered for him to come join him to go buy icecream at midnight. But, that story is better saved for a different time.

All you need to know is that, that midnight ice cream became a bi-weekly routine, and the other omega learned more about Logan than he thought he’d ever get out of the closed off nerd that night. Perhaps one could even go so far to say that Roman was the reason Logan ever even dared to go to a therapist in the first place.

Logan had become very stunted from the childhood neglect he’d endured. Omegas had many self-soothing mannerisms built into their primal instincts to comfort themselves when stressed, like purring when upset(was well as when happy or content!) and nesting to decompress or hide in a safe zone when stressed. And well, Logan had pretty much stifled his purring by the time he was 14, and.. Completely stopped nesting by the time he was 9.

There had been no point, and both had become increasingly dangerous to do as he grew older. Anytime his father caught him purring, the Alpha would berate him for being ungrateful, seeing it as a weakness. And no matter how well he’d try to hide his safety nests, his father would inevitably find them and destroy them. Far too many afternoons were ruined when he came home to find his father in a drunken stupor and his newest safe haven wrecked beyond repair, and stinking to high heaven of alcohol and aggressive, angry alpha pheromones.

So he gave up. He gave up trying to make the nests in hopes for comfort, in hopes for a safe haven to hide away. The longest he’d gotten was hiding away in his closet for periods of a time before his father decided it didn’t deserve a closeable door anymore.

Roman had been horrified, and promptly dragged the other omega into his own nest in distress. They spent hours like that, Logan sobbing and tucked up tenderly into Roman’s protective embrace as the omega purred and crooned comfortingly enough for the both of them.

It would be Roman to encourage Logan to begin nesting again. They’d made a whole day out of it, going out and buying brand new nesting materials along with comfort food and rented movies. Slowly but surely, Logan rebuilt his nest for the first time in a little over 10 years, and he was in heaven. And day by day, every time he came home to it intact and undisturbed, Logan’s psyche was assured just a little more that the nest was safe, that he was finally safe.

And no one could really be surprised that Logan became viscerally protective of his nest, even more so than the average omega, at that. The first time they realized this, one of their mutual friends, a beta named Patton, had suddenly come close to his nest in excitement over the new addition. Logan had snarled loudly and aggressively before he’d even processed moving to guard his nest from the approaching threat. When Patton had taken multiple careful steps back in shock, Logan finally snapped out of the defensive mindset and realized what had happened. He’d apologized profusely, and was quick to try and make amends.

Patton understood the justified reaction after some light explanation and waved off the apologies immediately. Logan, though mortified at his own surprising lapse in control, was grateful that there had at least been no hard feelings in the end.

Safe to say, their friend group and subsequently any new friends made in the future would be warned, “Don’t approach, or touch, Logan’s nest.” And it was fine. Things were even looking up, Logan had started truly healing, and trusting people started to become a little less difficult!

So it would really come as a surprise to everyone, let alone Logan himself, when he started developing a small crush on the kind and patient(if a little anxious) Alpha who nearly daily visited the library Lo worked at to study. It was an honest shock, but, perhaps it wasn’t the worst thing in the world..?

Logan had never seriously considered dating another until Virgil came around, and the prospect of dating an alpha was frankly terrifying. But, Virgil was nice, he was caring and gentle with him, and yet unwaveringly respectful. He’d listen to Logan ramble about stars for hours and never interrupt him, only asking questions when Logan’s voice lulled or allowed him to speak. Virgil encouraged this, wanting Logan to open up and ramble and talk without fear of being shut down.

Roman had told Logan it was obvious Virgil was crushing hard on Logan, that they both had it bad for one another it seemed. Of course, nothing had to come of it if Logan didn’t want it to! But the thing was, he did. He did want something to come of it, if at the very least they could just remain friends.

It took a few more months, but Virgil eventually worked up enough confidence to ask Logan out, and the unwavering, almost immediate ‘Yes,’ had almost taken Virgil off guard. They wouldn’t share their first kiss for another few weeks, but neither of them minded.

Virgil slowly but surely was given the whole story, and expressed his own quiet outrage in the form of promising to never let that happen again, nor let Logan’s father near him again. It was a protective sentiment that almost scared Logan, but the protectiveness was born out of love and compassion, not selfishness and hate. So he let it slide, and contently tucked himself into Virgil’s warm embrace with a soft “thank you,” and the first very soft but very happy purr that he’d let out in years.

This alpha, he’d find him telling himself a year and a half into their relationship, this alpha was the one that would be allowed into his nest.

It didn’t bother Virgil personally, that he wasn’t allowed into his omega’s nest. No one was allowed near the nest except him, and even then he still got growled at plenty. He was completely aware that Logan had a deep instinctual fear of the destruction of his nest, sewn by the only parent he’d had growing up doing just that out of malice. Logan had made strides in his journey of healing though. The omega was confident in himself, and refused to be pushed aside or spoken over. Logan was highly independent, even during his heats, which made Virgil feel all the more love for him to be let into his omegas life.

Logan wasn’t dependent on him like society demanded he be, and Virgil didn’t mind in the slightest, because he knew Logan. He loved this omega and knew said omega loved him back. That was all that mattered to either of them.

It took another half a year before Logan finally tried breaking down some of his protective walls over his nest. He was tired, so tired of the separation. Having Virgil's scent heavily entwined with objects in his nest wasn’t enough anymore. At two years into their relationship, Logan’s instincts didn't feel the need to growl at Virgil for being near his nest anymore. He wanted Virgil in his nest, and that thought was jarring to realize.

And when he’d brought it up, Virgil had been quick to assure him that he didn’t have to force himself to let Virgil in, that Logan’s safe space was sacred and he never wanted Logan to feel pressured by anything to let him in.

Perhaps Logan kissed him soundly after that, and was reminded just how much he really loved Virgil. Virgil's insistence for Logan's comfort coming first only made him want to pull his alpha into his nest that much more.

But still, he agreed to take it slowly. Every day, Virgil would scoot a little closer to the edge of the nest, would hold Logan’s hand and stroke his hair, even sometimes daring to slowly lean over and kiss him with prior warning.

It took a full week to really prove to Virgil during their progress that they were ready to take this next step, that Logan truly and fully trusted Virgil and wanted him in his nest.

And when it finally happened, they’d made a little date out of the occasion, setting up snacks and candy, ordering take out and lining up a few documentaries to watch on Virgil’s laptop, getting into their nightclothes.

Virgil had been beyond nervous, and Logan understood why. They managed to soothe each other as everything fell into place, and Logan carefully walked Virgil step by step into his nest. With careful movements, they sat down and Virgil let himself be carefully arranged as he was leaned back into the nest. It took a second for Logan to finish tucking things against Virgil and pull a weighted comforter over them before he finally settled himself onto Virgil’s chest.

Despite their original nervousness towards the idea, everything felt right, now. Logan felt so unbelievably safe now that he was tucked into his alpha’s arms within the cocoon of his nest. It was amazing in its own right. And it takes Virgil chuckling lovingly for Logan to notice just how content they both are.

“You’re purring like crazy, L,” he murmurs with a smile, running his fingers up and down Logan’s rumbling back, “If you’re not careful you might fall asleep before we even get through the first documentary.” Logan just grins back, tilting his head to peck Virgil on the cheek.

“I see no downside to that, V, considering I’ll be falling asleep in my alpha’s safe embrace. What more could I ever want?”

Virgil flusters and hides his face in Logan’s hair as the omega laughs, hugging the other closer. Logan eventually does fall asleep in the middle of the second documentary, cuddled close and relaxed.

And really, there was no other place Logan would rather be.

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Hi, sorry if I’m bothering you with this. But I had a writing blog here on tumblr, and I didn’t put an age minimum thing. Like let’s say, people who need to interact with me need to be a certain age in order to do so.

So I made mutuals who didn’t tell me their age nor didn’t say they were a minor in any part of their blog. And I decided to be friends with them, I’m also not the type to ask for ages unless the person is comfortable enough to say it by themselves. I discovered most of them were around 13-14 and it made me pretty uncomfortable but I was still kind to them and I didn’t say anything. I never discussed anything nsfw with them (even tho I’m still a minor it’s just something it makes me uncomfortable to discuss with someone younger)

My relationship with them was always like big sibling with a younger sibling, but still idk if I should cut ties or just let them be now that they are mutuals?

Also, would it be weird if someone who is 20 or older and runs a blog let minors interact with it or just have mutuals who are minors. This isn’t for me, is just a question out of curiosity.

Hey there! Not a bother, although I’m not sure how much help I’ll be. I want to preface my answer by saying this: if someone makes you uncomfortable, you are not obligated to continue speaking to them. No one is entitled to your time or thoughts… at all.

As for the rest, I think my perspective will be different because I am clearly at least 9 years older than you. We live in very different worlds 😅 Nonetheless, I will try to address everything with your perspective in mind.

First, please do not find it uncomfortable to ask someone their age — especially if conversations with younger people make you uncomfortable. You can always just ask. If they don’t want to answer, you can make a separate judgment of whether or not you want to continue talking to them (and if they do, if you believe them).

I do think you should be kind to everyone, but kindness does not mean unfettered access to you. You are allowed to assert boundaries. There is nothing shameful about that.

Which brings me to this: if you do decide to continue being friends, do it because you are comfortable making some space to be friends with them (not because you feel obligated).

Do this responsibly. Your age matters here. My conversations with minors are surface level, brief, and public (except for a few rare scenarios, like if I am telling someone that I am no longer comfortable with them in my space).

Being close friends with someone younger than you by an entire life stage (like middle school, high school, college) is weird (I’d argue it stops being strange to be friends with older people around your second year in college). You just don’t have a lot in common to develop a close friendship.

As I mentioned before, we live in very different worlds — and that’s fine. We can still occasionally chat about fandom stuff at a surface level. But you should not be sharing your secrets with me, and I should not be venting about Adult problems to you. You need friends your own age, and so do I.

If an adult allows minors in a space that is predominantly NSFW, that’s fucking whack. Block them. But a blog like mine, that doesn’t bother me. The vast majority of my posts are SFW. It would be silly to assume I could actually monitor every one of the thousands of interactions I have when most of my posts are SFW. It would quite literally take up more time than my full-time job on a scale like this.

DNIs are a nice sentiment, but ultimately difficult to enforce. I personally don’t care if minors interact with the gifsets I reblog or any of my SFW material. I do ask them not to interact with my NSFW fics, but those are very easy to avoid (they are labeled in multiple ways).

Finally: "Mutuals" culture is toxic. Feel free to let it go. I have never once looked to see if someone is following me unless someone asked, because I do not care. Clicking that little button does not make them any more or less entitled to your energy or time. If someone believes you owe them something because they are following your blog, you should reconsider engaging with that person.

Hope this helps! I'm not exactly an advice blog, but I do recognize people see me as some sort of authority. Friendly reminder, however, that I am just one person with one opinion. You are always free to ignore me, and I am not the arbitrator on the right way to do anything. I wish you the best of luck, and I'm sorry people made you uncomfortable.