#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.

[purpurussy]

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[writingforatwistedworld]

How to NOT get screwed over when getting a new job

Ok, some of you might be “Uh... Why is this on a fanfic blog? (and where is a new fic? It's coming.)” Why I am addressing this is because I know that some of you are at that age when you search for a job.

Before I start, some background info: this was my first job. My parents were always supportive of me since one of them is an immigrant who knows how hard it is if you don't have the right papers in the right country. So they agreed on helping me financially until I had graduated. You know, so I have a good chance of getting a decent paying easy job. I am no genius so they also wanted me to focus more on studying than some sort of side thing happening in my life.

Now, I am not going to say here who my employer is since I signed a paper not to share stuff about them on social media. I am not violating my contract by not saying who they are since it can not be traced back to them. (Already messed up enough that I have to say this but ok, moving on.)

The first red flag was actually already present when I signed my contract. (Crazy, right? Bad employers doing a shady job since the beginning.) So I sit there , doe eyed, singing it. The person who was the representative of the company, in my case, more or less flew over the most important things but didn't get into details. My first advice: Nope. This is not good. First red flag.

Go into detail. Ask them specifically how many hours per week can be added with or without your consent. Some companies are a bit more relaxed and allow you to choose whether you want to work longer than you signed up for or not. Now, the guy said something along the lines of “You could”. Yeah, no. I always have the long shifts and from what I can see, everyone does. We are all overworked and are in desperate need of more hands. (I am not going to be advertising them. Don't worry. They even want to cut costs by not hiring any more than the absolutely necessary minimum of workers. And they wonder why peeps go on strikes...)

The second is, he was awfully relaxed in his way of talking to me. Not in an “I'm relaxed because today is a not-so-busy day” but in a “we are friends and this is a big family”. A bit too much like he was an old friend. This had been a bit weird for me since the beginning because, well, the guy literally decides whether I am getting hired or not. Shouldn't he be a bit more, idk, professional? But I noticed sooner than later (to be exact, one week after I started working for them) that the guy was simply trying to butter me up. Not in the typical way of companies roping in workers. No. He had to do this because otherwise there wouldn't be a single reason why you would start working there.

I talked about that point with one of my friends. They have a bit more experience with finding jobs and they explained to me that such “buddy-buddy” strategies are always a red flag for them. If a company is good in what they do they don't have the need for such a thing. They have a more professional way of recruiting and whilst a joke or two might be made they are by far not mostly made out of relaxed chit-chatter.

There might be even more factors that I don't even notice being at play here. But he made me sign a contract that 1. makes me to work even longer than I signed up for on some weeks (like, way too much but I am not allowed to speak about details here) and 2. pays me less than I was promised. Heck, I even had to call the German taxing department or however you call it in English because they even put me in the wrong tax-paying class. Now, if this was a small company then ok, not cool as well but at least you could push all of that on the fact that they are so small and might even be inexperienced that they make mistakes but (and a huge reason why I don't lose a word about who they are) such a huge company? They make at least MILLIONS. This is also why I avoid getting into a fight with them. If they were to throw me in front of a judge then I wouldn't be able to keep up with them. They have so much money that they can literally buy themselves out of a situation.

I hope this helps you if you are searching for a new job or are right now on the lookout for your first one.

Stay safe and healthy! (Pardon me if I made some spelling errors. I wrote this on my phone.)

[taylortruther]

"and the thing is, the real issue here is racism and bigotry and creating a more just society. a symptom of this issue is that matty, and men as a whole, make comments or jokes like this as a matter of course. why is that? how do we coexist with men who find violence against women, and especially women of color, joke-worthy?" I think this is such a crucial point in this convo a lot of people are ignoring. I don't like Matty and I am a member of multiple groups he's been crappy towards. But also. We literally constantly put women in this impossible situation of needing to tolerate men, to not be a bitch, to not take what they say seriously -- and also needing to be morally/ethically/politically spotless if they want to have an opinion on anything at all. We tell them they NEED to date, they NEED to have a man in their life, and the men in question ... are allowed to do/say whatever. And we only object to it when we can find a way to make what they've said/done into a stick to beat women with. The brutal truth is, the vast majority of men have said/done shit like MH has. But when women en masse object to it, we treat them like they're crazy and overreacting. So the tacit message to women is clear: This is not a big deal. Do not treat it as such. I know multiple women irl who are losing their minds over Taylor rn, who are dating/married to men who have done the same shit or even worse. And I'm not mad at them, because I get it. But it's fucking stark. I don't care if people think I'm not taking this seriously enough or w/e anymore. I am a woman of color and an actual fucking social worker and that's a big part of the reason I can't take people acting like this is a major stain on Taylor's record seriously. Yeah, he's gross. But we rake women over the coals for objecting to men's grossness all the fucking time. I think the porn thing he did was disgusting, but also, we castigate women who criticize porn literally at all -- even for being racist, even when they're not objecting to the violent misogyny at the heart of it -- as puritan feminazi pearl-clutching bitches. And now we expect Taylor to say something about it? Are you fucking kidding me? There is no norm of criticizing this in the mainstream, even the mainstream left. I think we love having a stick to beat women with. I'm sick of pretending otherwise. I know how hard it is to get people to give a shit about women of color, and I know how disinterested they are in doing it when it only involves criticizing a men and not the women involved with them. People are so eager to use me as a banner right now so they can have fun proving how morally pure they are by shitting on a woman in my name. But the minute I say, hey, how about celebrity man x, he's done this (and worse!) too -- crickets.

you are so right that some of the issues people expect taylor to speak up about are unreasonable considering her actual job and what she's shown us she's comfortable saying explicitly (IE, vote democrat, and sign petitions.)

i think, ideally, some fans want to blame her less and simply see her not date a gross person to begin with. and i feel the same. and we must always remember that the context of conversations in the fandom is taylor focused because that's our shared interest.

but i also agree with what you're saying- lots of men say shit like this, and, even though fans aren't trying to hold taylor accountable for matty's actions, making the conversation about taylor essentially has that effect because we are assuming many fans don't have conversations about these topics any other time.

i want to give grace to people and hope that this matty situation will lead people to become more politically active irl. unfortunately i also know some fans admit on here that they do find this to be a form of political activism. so. idk what i'm trying to say here except i fully understand and relate to your frustration here.

[elekid]

Whenever I see posts like this wherein the focal point of the argument is people sharing personal experiences within like-minded individualist groups, i.e. lgbt+ people, freeks, geeks, all the unwanted- right? We Are Vulnerable Alone But Strong Together. Sometimes This produces a result, which, to put it bluntly- When We Weirdos congregate, sometimes we entirely miss the point. It's true! I have been sucked into or created this vortex many times. Like, I only read this cause it hooked me by being about medical malpractice/negligence- something i am waaaay too familiar with. See? It's not like, bad, but its strong. be careful.

Aaaaannnnd my black mom raised me, which meant any doctor/psych visits, she was there with me. Like, yeah? All this stuff happen to sooo many family and friends that it begins to blend together in my mind. I'm starting to wonder what the angle actually *is*- not to us, but to the medical professionals with the power of control over everyones health. Like...I am very mourning your pain and suffering but I mean with good will that you're missing the point. This is a misdirection of the core issues which create roadblocks to healthcare, and I bet my bottom dollar that many healthcare professionals at this point in the US know it too. They notice it works, to rattle you and push where you are soft. Baiting you at the angle they see as the chink in your armor. I have sooo often fallen for the bait, lost my composure in one way or another, and been preyed upon by the waiting vultures. The passive aggression is reaching new heights everyday.

I'm going to break some things about the healthcare system in america down for you.

Every healthcare worker is scrambling chatting going to conventions and conferences dinners clubs- the list goes on- all in order to share information about public healthcare. These are typically private events.

Talking to older disabled people can and will save your life. Talking to any other patients is a vital part of surviving. Why? See bullet point one. The enemy is already there.

You're absolutely not wrong about the privilege's of being clocked as a man in the healthcare system- if you are also clocked as white, able bodied enough that you can be useful, etc... I found out pretty quickly that being seen as a dude did not matter most often, and a lot of times has made things MUCH worse...

Lets say I have this friend who has been abused by the medical system since birth (forced reassignment surgery we all know.) Let's say that friend is a trans guy who passed even before going on T. He only sees women doctors, nurses, psych's, etc. It is not as though he has anything against the Misters-He simply has strict guidelines and boundaries about who he will and won't see. Last time I saw him, he said he wasn't feeling so bullied or scared.

PLEASE please pleaaase please don't forget covid please burn it into your heart that it was the opening of the floodgates of hell for disabled people. We don't work, we're not allowed to save more than like $1.5K, we often do not own nor drive our own vehicle..

TBQH in the eyes of the US Department of Health and Human Services, every disabled person is a sack of moldy potatoes taking up too much space and STINKING up the kitchen. Also, we cost the government a LOT of money. Covid was like mana from heaven! yaay yaaay look how many sick and useless people died wheee whoopee^___^!! <- every SSI employee

I think that sharing our stories and shit is really cool, and by no means stop! Let's play the quiet game now and learn...could read or watch a video or listen only...perhaps helpful places to start would be social graces, ANY history of the practice of medicine in the US, Libgen some reports right from the source, talk to the next patient you see while at the doctor!

Maybe less talky about me and more think and question about how we can still win? IDK abt yall but Im bored of going around in circles talking abt the same traumas we all went thru

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

[tortilla-of-courage]

Describing it as being like home is actually pretty accurate yeah.

And YES! I am totally willing to talk about my modern AU.

I've been calling it the Adoption AU because Time ends up adopting all of the boys. It mostly started as, I saw an edit for a tweet someone did with Wars and Wild that involved Taco Bell (cannot remember the blog or post for the life of me though), and so I wrote a thing about Warriors sneaking out of his university dorm to pick up Wild, who snuck out the window despite his broken arm, and then got extorted by Legend in exchange for silence at 3am.

This was followed by a fic where Groose decided spray painting a public building was a good idea and got himself and Sky arrested, set earlier in the timeline.

So then I made a timeline. Twilight is Time and Malon's biological son, and he found Wild on the side of the road one day (Wild's backstory involves a bad car wreck and an underground hospital, but no conspiracy bullshit. Yet). Wild has no memory, so they keep him. Wild brings home Legend, who was told his uncle died at school before a holiday. They then also keep Legend. Malon finds Four in her barn one morning for complicated reasons, and they keep him too. Twilight finds Warriors, who is in his class, hiding in an alley one day after he ran away from an abusive home and brings him home too. SS Impa (who I've nicknamed Shield because there are enough prominent Impas here that they should get nicknames too) is a social worker who's trying to find Sky a home and has run out of options, and turns to Time, who has a record of successfully housing 'unhousable' youths, and asks if he can take one more. He can. Wild finds Hyrule and brings him home because 'Rule needs a shower even more than Wild does. Hyrule stays. Wind's grandma ends up with Wind and his sister but can't financially take care of both and so Wind ends up with the boys and everyone is +1 Grandma.

Twilight has a fic detailing how he knows Midna and Dusk and I ended up shooting him (oops) but at least their social project gets handed in on time.

Then I started hashing out Time's backstory and suddenly this AU had plot. And organized crime. And a conspiracy. And secret societies.

The summarized version is that the gems from OoT are like, Idk what they do yet. Haven't gotten to a point where I need to figure that out yet. But they are Important and have to be carefully guarded. The Great Deku Tree (just called Deku because he's not a tree here) was Time's foster father before Ganondorf killed him. Also, Ganondorf is Deku's half brother. Because. However Time 'stole' the Emerald and he and Navi ran until OoT Impa (Sage) and Lullaby found them. So Time got adopted into Lullaby's family. Ruto inherited the Sapphire from her mother who also died from mysterious circumstances, and Darunia has the Ruby. Lullaby got the Ocarina from her late paternal grandmother.

Then Ganon finds them and tries to steal the Emerald from Time, so Lullaby goes looking for help and thus finds the sages. Saria is an anonymous hacker who uses the screen name 'Kokiri'. Time reveals he didn't steal the Emerald, he was Deku's heir, and then Navi goes missing. Time is home worried enough that he's physically sick, and Ganon decides to try and attack the home. Only Lullaby's family is Olde Money, and they live in a big, old manor, so Lullaby as Sheik decides to play 'Home Alone' with the secret passages in the walls and they piss off Ganon because when did that brat get a sheikah bodyguard??? Sage and Rottla (Lullaby's mother, who is fully sheikah as well) rush home from a thing and Kokiri is running a play by play watching the security cameras.

I pull in my headcanon that Time was killed in the Downfall Timeline by getting impaled on Ganon's tusk and Ganondorf stabs him with the tusk of a mounted boar head and then Sheik shows up to protect his brother, and then Mama gets home and is not happy to find this man in her home attacking her kids. Time is fine, but Navi stays missing. (She's alive tho.)

Also, Time's foster dad was the last leader of a secret society known as The Order of The Lost Woods, and Time learns this upon meeting Tatl, who gets him sucked into another event that would probably make a good action movie. I have thought too much about the Order and it's hierarchy, but what's important here is that Time ends up with a standing job offer and Tatl and he remain friends and we find out how I fit FD into this AU. It's not pretty. This is where Time loses his eye too.

The AoC came out and I added that Link in as Wild's twin brother and he shows up during the main plot.

Which starts with Twi getting kidnapped. (I'm not really meaner to him than the others, I swear, he's just the most logical choice to be Time's heir. Which he is. He doesn't know this though.)

So he's kidnapped by Ganondorf, who broke out of jail, Zant, who shot Twi in highschool, and Ghirahim, who has some history with Sky I haven't fleshed out yet and a very public rivalry with Warriors over twitter. About six weeks later Sage finds him in an abandoned warehouse (because of course) with a shackle on his left arm and a lot of new injuries. He ends up fine, but he tells Time later in the hospital what happened and he's both message and messenger and Time is this close to just committing murder. Tatl talks him down.

Somewhere here is the half finished fic where I introduce AoC Link as Luke/Knight, and this is as far as I've plotted thus far.

Other tidbits: Wild and Lullaby/Sheik are both genderfluid, Lullaby/Sheik married Ruto, Wild has a very popular YouTube channel, Twi does drag racing sometimes, Sky has a pet bird, Four has DID to explain how the Colours are here too, and Wolfie exists in the form of a random wolf-dog Wild found and brought home that Legend somehow convinced half the family was Twilight. Also, Warriors has somehow befriended an entire sorority and he doesn't know how this happened.

This... got long. As you can see I have a lot of thoughts about the Adoption AU. It's gotten a bit away from me, I'll admit. This went from 'Wild does stunts on his motorbike and keeps breaking bones but somehow not the bike' to 'Twilight got kidnapped and Time is the target of a mafia that Ganon runs and also maybe killed a man once' and I don't know how that happened. Also, this is the condensed version of the summary. My actual summary/outline is much, much longer than this. So if there's any detail you want more on, feel free to say so and I'll happily go into more detail (there are so many things I didn't even mention....)

And yes, Robbie having a bong is very important to my best friend, for some reason. He has one in a modern AU and he probably invented one in canon. I happen to agree that this makes sense for his character, if anyone would invent a bong in LoZ it's Robbie (this is such an anticlimactic end to this ask after the stuff about the modern AU...)

Also, sorry for the long ass ask. I genuinely don't know how to condense the Adoption Au down any further. There's a lot of important plot beats to cover, and I still skipped things.

-Attllhak

oh my GOD???? if you ever write and post this somewhere id love to read it, the level of "crazy" conspiracy/action movie elements implemented sound sosososo cool, from Ganondorf being Deku's half brother to trying to "send a message" via Twi and- just- all of this is SO good.i sat here and reread this ask like 3 times as if that would magically spawn more info about it ahaha

there's so much to unpack here but it's honestly so worth it i love every single detail!!! i can imagine the actual outline being way longer, nad honestly that just makes me the more excited/curious about all that might be missing from this ask - i cant believe it started with Wild and Wars going to Taco Bell of all things

also i can totally see Robbie making a bong, no matter the setting or AU. fits him a lot I'd say

and dont worry about long asks!! i adore opening up my askbox to see one ask take over the entire thing, it makes me really happy aha

[realtalk-tj]

I always have this feeling of impending doom so I end up overworking and doing all of the homework due in two weeks in one day and stress my self out. On top of all of this, I always have a panic attack right before a test or even a quiz then start comparing myself to others and feel really stupid. My brain keeps telling me that something will go wrong and I end up screwing myself over every single time. I would send on private but maybe this could help others. I don't know what to do anymore :(

Response From Fleur:

It’s super thoughtful of you to share this with us and others so that people know they’re not the only ones :D. Sorry I’ve waited a bit to answer this, I’ve got so much to say I wanted to make sure I wrote this up when I had the time to do a good job :) I don’t know a lot about your situation, so I’m going to write general stuff about mental health that might not all apply to yours but will hopefully be helpful to others if not to you ;) Also, my thoughts are all over the place so bear with me, this is a long post.

It sounds like you’ve been having a difficult time lately, so first off, *hugs*

Not really sure what’s going on in your life so I’m mainly going to address the panic attack stuff/feeling of impending doom stuffs.

It sounds like you’ve been lost as to what you can do about this stuff that’s been going on. Sounds like it’s some type of anxiety or panic disorder thing? (I’m gathering this since “feeling of impending doom” is a legit word for word textbook symptom of this stuff + you named panic attacks). 

There are always things you can do about this stuff, idk what you’ve been trying so ima mention more ideas than one needs in hopes that I mention something noteworthy.

Good Idea: Try to solve the problem and seek support from people who have the capacity to help you (school social worker, school psychologist, counselor, teachers, mentors, alumni, adult friends, people educated on mental health topics, parents, neighbors, friend’s parents, community leaders, religious leaders, therapist, psychiatrist, pediatrician, me, relatives, siblings, coaches, hotline staff, strangers…etc). Someone. Anyone. If they suck at being helpful, don’t stop telling people, just stop telling them and get support from someone else. Using coping skills is a great idea too :) 

Bad idea: Keeping this to yourself and not telling anyone or refusing to get assistance from anyone who is educated on mental health and can actually do something or only telling 14-17 year old high school children who most likely cannot help you about your problems without getting better quality assistance, or ignoring the problem and thinking you can fix it yourself is what you probably shouldn’t be doing ;) 

Ima put a list of coping skills here that has been based off the 99 coping skills list and edited by lotsa people ik that are struggling with anxiety. Typically, bringing stuff with you to class that you can play with in your hands is the best thing I can think of for in class/pre-test/post-test/everysecondofthetest nerves. 

Theraputty is the best coping skill ever, everyone should have this, because everyone gets stressed in life, heck I could use theraputty even if I was calm and happy 24 hours a day because it’s FUN (get the green stuff, I promise it’s the best consistency for every day use. Also, you might as well get 6 ounces of the stuff): https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001RPY79C/ref=twister_B06WGSH86S?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1 and ik recently people have been talking about how awesome fidget spinners are so that’s some solid proof that playing with stuff in your hands is helpful.

I want to mention the following:

It doesn’t make you any less of a person to struggle with this. It’s at this point in life where many people first have experiences with anxiety, panic disorder, depression…etc. In society, I find that we beat ourselves up a lot if we’re not “neurotypical” or whatever it means. We tell ourselves that we’re weak for having to cope when faced with certain stressors, that we’re weak for feeling sad or anxious or panicky or hopeless. But I don’t think any of that is valid. What I’ve learned from over 1,000 conversations with people in emotional distress as part of my volunteer work and my job is that most of the conceptions society has about mental health are just the opposite. So yeah, it’s fine that you’re having difficulty with nerves before assessments and with coping with the fact that the homework never ends and there will always be something more for you to do (dw no one can cope with this easily even the 500% neurotypical people).

Here are some of the things I’ve realized about mental health that are at odds with conceptions that many people have:

-Being vulnerable makes you strong. 

-When you’re afraid is the ONLY time you can be brave

-You’re at your best when you’re at your worst

-You can logically know something but feel the opposite way no matter how many times you tell yourself not to or remind yourself of the logic. 

-It’s not your fault you’re having difficulty doing something because you’re experiencing symptoms of a certain mental health phenomenon. It’s not your fault if that thing you’re having difficulty doing is not possible at the moment at all and you need to take a break and try again some other day, month, year, never…etc

-There’s only so much control people have over their mental health. 

-Telling people that you are hurting or suffering or are mentally unstable or are hopeless or are suicidal or are self injuring or are abusing substances is not attention seeking. It is one of the bravest things you can do.

-Often there are tons of people around you that would do everything in their power to help you when you’re suffering, but they can’t do a single thing if they have no idea that you’re suffering in the first place. By telling so many people people what is wrong, you are increasing your chances of getting help.

-I separate the person from the mental health condition, something everyone should do. Often times the people with the condition cannot separate the two themselves, but I can, so it’s only fair that I see them for who they are first and not as the symptoms of their condition. 

-If you have a mental health condition, consistently trying to get help from new avenues, especially if what you are doing is not working, is one of the best things you can do for yourself. That persistent drive to fix the problem and getting opinion after opinion and finding out new options is what ultimately will lead you to where you want to be.

Someone is a gem and has posted free anxiety resources in one document that I have put here:

Right before a test, I would watch this GIF: http://tinyurl.com/CTLbreathe1 or http://tinyurl.com/CTLbreathe2

Breathe2 is a better GIF for me than breathe1 is. I’d see which one you like best first. Idk why I really don’t like breathe1 but it’s hard to breathe with because of the direction and how complicated it is lol. So yeah, see what works, I literally have breathe2 open during class every day because it helps so much with nerves.

Also, one of these resources here is crisis text, something I wanted to elaborate on: you can text the number 741741 to reach crisistext, a hotline that operates through text messages, if you are in crisis (crisis is broadly defined). I’m biased when I say that this hotline is awesome if you’re into the whole texting thing, because I volunteer there. You can also message them on Facebook messenger if that’s easier than texting (it is for me). Legit just go to their page and click “send message” and it’ll connect you to a crisis counselor :D  https://www.facebook.com/crisistextline/

TJ is hard af so you’re doing great getting through each day! I promise most other things are NOT this hard. College is certainly easy compared to TJ. And trust me when I say you will get into college. There are colleges that accept 99% of the people who apply and generally TJ kids can get into a college that accepts around 30-40% of applicants (that’s what I consider a good fit school). Don’t underestimate yourselves, when I got into TJ, they had a 14% acceptance rate and I got the lowest possible score on the math section you could get in order to get to round 2! All you TJ kiddos are gonna to be just fine

[desertwarden]

1. I don't fully consider myself one because I am still learning and don't have firm stances on certain things yet. I don't really think I can consider myself one until I can adequately defend my positions, cite evidence, and actually be able to understand when people refer to literature. My ideal is to eventually be educated and not just ideologically aligned, if that makes sense.

2. Just seeing all of the serious injustice that women still go through every day, especially worldwide, which is literally horrific in some regions, yet still have men crying about how women are so privileged now. The rampant defense of the worst men ever just because people like them. Realizing how misogynistic some LGBT spaces are, particularly some trans spaces. Seeing other feminists defend absurd things like porn and treating other women like sex objects (can't make the feminism too unsexy to men or make me think too hard about how I act!!!)

3. Depends on your definition. I believe that female-only spaces are important, and that the trans rights movement overall has many flaws and issues at the moment (including rampant & growing misogyny), but I think a lot of TERFs ignore the complexity of transgender people as well as how effective transition can be. Knowing the transgender people that I have, I can't earnestly say that I am 100% gender-critical. That said... there is definitely a ton of bullshit, and a lot of people who definitely aren't really dysphoric and are either dealing with misogyny or a fetish. And there are consequences if you make it easy for people to easily self-ID legally. Some TERF points have gotten to me about it, but I'm still not sure where I stand.

4. I identified as a "trans man" for 2 years, albeit mostly only online (fortunately, lol). I think all of my "dysphoria" had to do with my discontent of how my female body was perceived and how I was treated based on that, not any real dysphoria.

5. Bisexual, I "dated" (online LOL) a guy once in the worst period of my life when I was like 14-15 and haven't dated anyone since. I have no plans to date men now because any time I get close to one, the misogyny appears like some sort of Five Nights at Freddy's jumpscare.

6. I've never liked makeup. I never had an interest in wearing it. I still don't. I mean idk but I never understood why so many women throughout my entire life spent all that money and went through all that effort when they were already beautiful.

7. horrible, I want that outlawed but specifically in a way that exploitative producers/pimps/etc and customers/Johns are punished and not the workers themselves.

8. bad due to the industry & often the content of porn itself promoting really awful kinks and fetishes. I've never watched an actual porn video (I've never had a desire to) but I've seen GIFs and pictures in the past, which count imo. I think it's grooming a lot of young people (especially young girls) into sexualizing/objectifying themselves in harmful ways and I do not like that either. And just encouraging harmful sexual behavior too, particularly in men.

9. Negative. I think it's a form of oppression. I am not Muslim or ex-Muslim, though.

10. I shave my arms/hands like once or twice a week, but that's it.

11. Gender isn't a tangible thing -- it's solely social. Sex is the set of sexual characteristics that one possesses. Intersex people don't destroy the sex binary by being the exceptions to the rule. Most people can be easily categorized as male or female, including some intersex people.

12. I've felt pretty bitter towards capitalism in the past, but I've yet to seriously look into leftist ideas or leftist theory in general. Part of this is because a lot of leftists online seem obnoxious and pretentious about their beliefs and are often far removed from reality, but I've been told it's much different IRL.

13. USA

14. More anti-porn discussion but specifically in how it impacts women who consume it and women who have sex with men who consume it. I feel this is super overlooked, but it 100% impacts those women, too, and any talk about it, even if it's just based on personal accounts, would be eye-opening. Obviously, the main issue is that porn is bad for how it exploits people, but it's also awful in how it affects those who consume it, too.

15. Well.. with my answer to 1 in mind, no.

Questions for radblr / terfblr —

1. How long have y’all been radical feminists?

2. What ‘radicalized’ you?

3. Do you consider yourself a terf?

4. Have you ever (or currently) identified as transgender?

5. What is your sexuality? If attracted to males, do you consider yourself a separatist or are you still open to being with males (or do you have a boyfriend/husband currently)?

6. What is your opinion on makeup? Do you still wear it?

7. What is your opinion on ‘sex work’? Have you ever done ‘sex work’?

8. What is your opinion on pornography? Did you ever watch it in the past?

9. What is your opinion on the hijab? Are you a muslim/ex muslim?

10. Do you still do some of the things you criticize? (Shaving, makeup, etc)

11. What is your opinion on Gender vs. Sex?

12. Are you anti-capitalist?

13. What country (or continent) are you from?

14. What is a topic you wished more radfems would talk about?

15. Does anyone in your life know you’re a radfem?

Feel free to skip a question if it makes you uncomfortable!

[mangodestroyer]

Tw: post about corporate America and the lack of solidarity between minorities

Yeah, I guess you've got a point there.

Anytime a co-worker has given me trouble, it's usually because they're pretty freaking miserable. Currently, the one giving me trouble has been through the military, survived cancer, talks about how she used to work miserable jobs, and currently has a daughter-in-law who is a drug addict and tormenting her son and how she's in poor health. Said co-worker also CONSTANTLY talks about drinking alcohol... so she probably has substance abuse issues as well.

Then I had a previous one who was a single mom working two jobs and really scraping by. Somehow she has to pay child support to her abusive ex while sharing custody with him. When she was my age, she also partied hard, did drugs, got arrested, and pregnant long before she was ready for a child. This one was ALWAYS on my case over every little thing I did at work and making rude remarks about me. And then ANOTHER previous co-worker who was having difficulties finding a partner, and the moment a cute young man started working there, she started verbally berating me in front of customers and even used the R slur against me while doting over the guy.

For context, they're all native American. They knew I was also Native. The moment the current one found out, that's when she started getting MEAN. Literally, I went from feeling comfortable around her to feeling like she's about to smack me over the head any second. People also started complaining about me to my boss and now the office just acts weird around me. And you see? This is why I chose to go into a field where you dig through dirt in college. At this point in my life, I think I'd rather be outside getting sweaty and gross, and digging through dirt and mud, over dealing with any more work politics with these "cushy" jobs. People think I'm crazy for saying it, but I literally keep saying that I'd rather scrub toilets than work another people-oriented job. Like, I never thought I'd start finding THAT desirable, considering that I'm easily grossed out, but people SUCK.

It's one reason I relate to Crowley. I just feel it's implied that he's always so uniquely abused and stands out no matter what he does. Like, my life isn't a picnic either! Why are other people with similar struggles treating me like shit? Am I actually a horrible person and don't even realize it? I've tried everything under the sun and it STILL happens! It's why I stopped giving a shit about pleasing others. I mean, I was initially excited about this job AND being in a new environment on campus... but enough social failings have gotten me to a point where I'm now just apathetic about other people. My co-workers can hate me and be displeased with my performance. I'm just here for a check at this point. I've still got that other job that's waaaaay more exciting! I still feel like I'm becoming a cynical asshole though. I sometimes just feel incredibly depressed and want the semester to be over with (because that's when my roommate will leave, who has also caused issues). I mean, I literally started living on a college campus to get out of an abusive situation. That was ROUGH! For once in my life... can I catch a fucking break? Can I please just be happy without something or someone smacking me down? Be popular with someone/a bunch of people for once? Have something go right after working at it for a while, and then not be given shit if something DOES go right for me?

I understand that Furfur's actions are probably supposed to resemble the ladder climbing observed in corporate hellscapes, as well as the lack of solidarity between minorities in said environments (I kind of see demons as minorities in this celestial society). Like, okay, he spared Aziraphale later on... idk why tbh. I still feel vindictive and hope he cried about being humiliated.

Look, I'm tired. I know I need to make some changes with how I'm doing things right now because I'm clearly becoming very depressed. Trust me, I am NOT working at that job after my pay auth is up. And I'm working on changing my priorities when it comes to college. I know I need to chat with housing once this semester is over because they seriously fucked up and ignored my preferences when it comes to roommates. I'm also trying to be independent when I likely have a pretty bad case of autism. Probably worse than what people thought when I was a child. I wish I could pause life and isolate myself from everyone for a while.

Ig Good Omens just does a pretty good job demonstrating this aspect of life. Season Two still leaves me feeling depressed sometimes. It didn't feel as whimsical as the first season. It felt a little more REAL.

Beez saved Gabriel from Heaven with The Fly...

...while Aziraphale saved Crowley from Hell with...

...The Flyer.