#idk i don’t like it much but i spent too much time on it to let it go to the dogs
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▷ Holiday Headcanons
Synopsis . Things your jjk partner does during the holidays! / Pairings . (Separate) Gojo x f!reader, Geto x f!reader, Toji x f!reader, Sukuna x f!reader, Ino x f!reader, Yuki x f!reader, Shoko x f!reader, Choso x f!reader, Nanami x f!reader / Content . afab!reader, established relationships, modern au, fluff, creampies, soft sex, rough sex, filth, breeding, bondage, choking, oral sex, praise, dirty talk, sfw content, etc . / wc . idk ngl...!
A/N: Merry Christmas Ladies & Gentlemen! This isn’t proofread so please excuse any errors. Thank you guys sm for 7k on this account!! I hope you all have a wonderful day/night!! <33 [MDNI]
❅ Gojo Satoru
NSFW
Who's first present to you comes early in the morning at the ass crack of dawn, consisting of his warm breath caressing the shell of your ear as he rasps a needy plead—aching to get a taste of you to start his Christmas off "properly."
Naturally, you let Gojo get what he wants since that’s one less gift you have to worry about. That, and it’s a gift that just keeps on giving because as soon as he’s settled in between your legs, he’s smiling from ear to ear and swallowing down the drool that threatens to spill past his eager lips.
And when he finally latches that heavenly mouth of his onto you? Oh it’s over. He’s so glad he woke up early for this because nothing could pull him away from the honeyed slick of your cunt at this very moment—not even the perfectly wrapped presents awaiting the two of you just out in your shared living room.
Part of what has him so feral once his tongue is on you is probably the lacy festive blue panties you decided to sleep with. They match his eyes and there’s this pretty bow in the center… unfortunately, he was too caught up on trying to get your pussy against his tongue to admire the fabric longer. Now the garment lays in tatters just a few inches away from your quivering legs that dangle so prettily over his shoulders.
SFW
Had a snowball fight with you seconds after the first speck of white came falling from the sky.
Who spent weeks making sure that every inch of your shared home was adorned in pretty festive decorations.
Has literally bought you all that you couldn't think of and more for the special day. Gift after gift awaits you in that overly decorated living room of yours.
Adores this day and season because he has another excuse to spoil the fuck out of you. It’s no big deal that he bought you a vacation home or two… right? And the three vehicles he purchased were only necessary since you’d mentioned how much you liked them one time (around six months ago or something—not that he kept track or anything…) as the model drove by…
❅ Geto Suguru
NSFW
With Suguru, it’s actually you who’s extra freaky around Christmas. Sure, you love the festivities and everything but what/who do you love even more than that? Your husband. Or, more specifically, the thick cock he gifts you with all year long.
How could you not spend Christmas night with Geto’s dick sliding in and out of your mouth—having told him some measly excuse about how the mistletoe is hanging in the back of your throat this year and there’s only one way to share a kiss beneath it properly..!
Your glossy eyes remain up on his darkened purple ones and he looks so fucking grateful to have you. Geto stands with parted lips and bated breath as he watches you use that slutty mouth of yours to worship every inch of his pretty cock. You’ve got drool and spit dripping all down your chin but you don’t seem to have a care in the world. Hell, you probably don’t even have a thought in that cockdrunk head of yours right now either.
Geto even tries to pull himself out of your mouth (so he can catch a small break) only for you to let off a needy whine of his name and chase after him—latching your lips and tongue onto his oh-so-sensitive drooling tip just to suckle on him like you can’t function properly without his cock resting against your lips (and hey, maybe you can’t).
SFW
Impresses your parents on Christmas day flawlessly with the most perfect gifts for them (he unintentionally outdoes your gifts).
Spoils you like crazy with more than just gifts by being at your beck and call a bit more than usual. He’s always attentive but on Christmas he seems to he even moreso than normal.
Who lets you style his hair however you want with ribbons and bows while actively wearing a poorly made Christmas sweater the two of you made the year prior to the current.
Loves playing Christmas themed games with you because they remind him of playing games with Satoru (who occasionally joins the two of you around this time). You’re just as competitive as he is and even the most simple games turn into full on competitive events between the two of you.
❅ Toji Fushiguro
NSFW
It’s not until Christmas night that you get your real present from Mr. Fushiguro, your doting husband of God knows how many years now.
Watching you care and love on Megumi and Tsumiki all day was just the push he needed to later want to fuck yet another child into that gorgeous body of yours.
It started off as him being all soft with you, giving you that big bear hug from behind as he murmured into your ear—asking you if you enjoyed this year’s Christmas ‘n whatnot… only to lead to him casually suggesting that you two make the family a bit larger. Later rasping into your ear again, this time while you’re folded into a mind-numbing mating press, about how it’s time to give you your last present of the day.
His cock is throbbing more than normal too, whole body tense with a coarse mix of lust and love that he has for you. Oh how he could never truly get over the sight of you all under him like this with your eyes flickering back, nails clawing against his skin, and sweet softened moans of his name spilling from your lips.
It’s not long before the headboard is making not-so-subtle taps against the wall as he loses himself within the warm gushing depths of your cunt, fat cockhead only swelling more and more when you have the gall to utter the words, “Y-Yeah.. hnngh, fuck another b-baby into me, Toji,” And who ever is he to deny you of such a request?
SFW
Spends most of the day trying to bite back his smile as he watched his two kids open presents you bought for them. Their eyes light up with each gift and Toji’s poor heart only flutters with that uncomfortable warmth of love he can never quite get used to.
Keeps his best poker face on when Tsumiki and Megumi give him a gift. Toji tries to act like the little family drawing the two kids made doesn’t mean anything to him, going as far as laughing at how wonky the artwork is and everything but… the drawing is stuck onto the fridge the very second after the kids turn their head away from him and if anyone paid close enough attention to the big softie—they would’ve spotted his eyes glossing over ever so slightly.
You always get him the best gifts. Or at least, that’s what Toji tells you. Whether it be cologne or simply just a plate of Christmas breakfast in the morning—the man swears his wife outdoes herself every year. What would he do without you?
Doesn’t care too much for the snow but seeing you build snowmen and make snow-angels with his kids will always make him stand out in the crisp cold air for moments longer than he normally ever would. Usually with a hot cup of coffee in his hand, standing all mysteriously and brooding by the front door of your shared home as he watches you three run around and make fools of yourself—anyone who looks at him at the right second would catch a little grin quirking against those scared lips of his.
❅ Sukuna Ryomen
NSFW
As soon as the clock strikes twelve and Christmas has hit, he’s grabbing every red ribbon of fabric in the vicinity and wrapping his most important present (you) up to his liking.
Sukuna just loves seeing you tied up, especially on Christmas Day. One year he had your arms box-tied at your arched back as your cheeks were buried down into the sheets and his rough tattooed hands scaled along each exposed sliver of your skin. You were, quite literally, his prettiest present every year.
Sometimes you surprised him and tied yourself up in a new way—the sight never once failing to make his cock spring up. Oh and when he fucks you while you’re all tied up? He loses his mind every single time. Which is part of why he doesn’t do this all year long.
Christmas is the only day of the year where he really goes above and beyond with the whole bondage thing. Truth be told, seeing your fingers wiggle for touch and your body twitching for a moment of release as he fucks you to tears is one of his biggest and sole weaknesses in the world. It’s so sexy—especially with the cries of his name that follows along with the pleasing for him to let you touch his body.
Oh, and don’t even get him started on the way you always try wiggling away from him while your limbs are bound, no matter the position. The face you make, the way your cunt spasms—you do it every single time you’re about to cum for the nth time and it drives him fucking insane. Suddenly he can’t help but bully his angry cock into that sensitive sappy spot inside you that you’re so desperately trying to pull away from…
SFW
Definitely dresses up as the Grinch just to terrorize his child nephew, Yuji—who he knows you adore more than anything.
Yeah, you thought it was odd when you woke up on Christmas morning and your husband was nowhere to be found but when you made your way downstairs alongside a five or six year old Yuji to get the morning started… here comes your husband dressed in that iconic furred green suit and red coat—invoking a shriek from the poor boy beside you as he watched his uncle snatch up all the presents from beneath the Christmas tree.
You weren’t sure if you wanted to laugh or scold the man in the moment but either way, the event was memorable nonetheless. In Sukuna’s mind, nothing will ever beat the widening of your eyes and the dramatics that brat beside you displayed over some toys being snatched up.
He’ll never ever say it out loud to anyone aside from you but, he actually quite enjoys Christmas. Or, he has enjoyed it ever since you made him watch The Grinch—hence his antics surrounding the character. Hell, his first comment about that movie was something along the lines of, “Hah. I like the way this guy thinks already.”
Mind you, you were barely even half an hour in.
❅ Ino Takuma
NSFW
On Christmas, it’s just you and him this year so… after all the literal gifts have been opened and all the sweet things have been exchanged……. Ino’s offering his body to you entirely.
Mid-day, you swear you left him in your bedroom for hardly even five minutes only to return to his legs sprawled apart and his hard cock exposed & decorated with a cute bow wrapped around his hefty base. Then his hands are tied behind his back—part of you wondering how he even managed to do that in such a short period of time..
His brown hair is all tousled and his breathing is unsteady already. You’ve seen and felt every inch of him time and time before but offering himself ip to you like this was oh so embarrassing for the poor man. The instant your eyes fall onto his cock, his tip leaks in a messy slip of pre.
Ino can only take a deep breath and try to work up his confidence just to weigh his head to the side and lift a brow, “Well, baby? Merry Christmas. Come unwrap your final present…”
SFW
Ino loves going out with you durning the holiday season. Especially ice skating—even if you’re good or bad at it, he loves being out there on the ice with you.
Something about laughing in the cold until your cheeks burn makes his heart throb within his chest. Ino loves spending this season with you because he swears every small moment feels like a movie when he’s with you.
He definitely still leaves out cookies and milk for Santa and will debate with you for hours on end about how the guy is 100% real.
Goes, “Aww, babbyyyyy..” to literally each and every single gift you give him, soon followed by a sweet, “You didn’t have to get this for mee..!” He’s not ungrateful or anything but, even though you’re his girlfriend of like two years now, he’ll never quite get used to receiving gifts from you & he’s too damn humble for his own good.
❅ Yuki Tsukumo
NSFW
You make the ‘mistake’ of gifting her a strap for Christmas and she makes good use of it that same night.
Practically every position you can imagine & be stretched into—she’s got you in. You always knew your girlfriend had some mean hips on her but when she’s got this lengthy cock strapped onto those hips and she just working the thick ‘n hard inches of the plastic inside you at a brutal pace, you can’t even breathe properly enough to respond to her little comments of, “Aw, look at my girll… takin’ all of me so well, aren’t you pretty?”
Teasing you too with huffs of, “This is the best gift ever, cutie. I mean, hah..” She’d flash that knowing sexy grin of hers, “Jus’ look at this pussy—I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this wet before.”
You’re not too sure if you regret the purchase or if it’s the best thing you’ve ever bought for the woman but either way; in return for buying her that damn strap, Yuki gifts you with the meanest backshots not too long after opening her gift. She’s gotta make sure it works, right?
Hand around your throat, tipping your head back, lustful eye contact, heavy pants of your name, and praises pouring from her blush pink lips—Yuki’s probably never letting this gift go to waste.
SFW
She’s competitive so around this time of year, any winter spot imaginable… you’re playing or participating in with her (and probably losing).
Who loves making snow angels with you and then comparing the sized of the two, making fun of yours even if it were only the slightest bit smaller than her own.
Goes on these insane morning runs with shorts on ‘n everything. You find her bizarre for it and almost died the one time she’d convinced you to go on one with her.
Both of you would definitely give each other the same number of gifts literally every year. It’s always unintentional and completely coincidental but for whatever reason, if you got ten gifts: she got ten. If she got thirty, you got thirty. Even if you got one, she somehow got one as well. It’s silly but it keeps happening and both of you assume it’s the world’s way of telling you you’re perfect for one another.
❅ Shoko Ieiri
NSFW
Ties a bow around her middle and ring finger and gives you this smirk that leads to literally everything else.
It’d be after gifts have been opened and stories have been shared that she’s out by the fireplace with you, knuckle deep in your cunt as your sweet slick trickles down her slender fingers and coats the fabric she has around her digits.
Who doesn’t ever get tired of fingering you and never ever fails to amaze you because somehow her hands never seem to cramp up on her (or maybe that’s just from the years she spent with you but who knows..).
Once she’s satisfied with getting you off numerous times, Shoko will tell you that there’s another bow she wants you to find. That’s how you end up in between her pretty legs, tugging a lacey red bow that was tired around her upper thigh down her leg. And from there, it’s only fair that you enjoy your Christmas dessert that’s presented so deliciously in front of you—especially when she takes those two fingers from earlier and spreads herself open for you. The drool from her cunt matches the drool from your lips—how cute.
SFW
Building snowmen with you is something she cant get enough of. Especially considering the time you both built one another and you’d given her a small stick to resemble the cigarette she’s always got lodged in between her lips.
Who loves going to new cafes with you around this time for whatever reason. Something about the cold just makes her want to try all sorts of different warm beverages and who better to go try these things with than her loving wife?
Goes on a Christmas movie marathon with you because your presence during movies alone is enough to make her heart flutter.
You got her a pack of cigarettes one year as a joke but she actually appreciated it more than you realized. This was earlier on in your relationship and that gift was part of what motivated her to want to quit smoking (well, that & she’d like to live by your side for as long as possible).
❅ Choso Kamo
NSFW
Fucking his cum into you for a few hours is as good as any other gift he’s given you, right? Especially after seeing how you are around his brothers—so kind and doting, you’d make the perfect mother.
Hence the incoherent mutters of Choso wanting you to have his child later that night. All you did was give him the lovestruck look when he suggested it and it was over from there. He couldn’t stop himself from bending you in all sorts of positions, angling his hips into you perfecting and moaning about how desperately he needs you to take everything he gives you.
Who can’t even think straight when you look him in the eyes and praise him for how good he’s funking you—not that this is new or anything… But then you started teasing him. “C’mon Cho, r-right there. Gimme one more, fuck me nice ‘n full—mmgh..” Oh, you were sure to be the cause of his death that night.
He sees white by the time he cums again, something he’ll later tease you about with a stupidly unserious comment of, “Guess we really did have a white Christmas after all, huh?”
SFW
It’s winter so whenever you two walk together, he takes your hand, holds it tightly, and then pulls it into his pocket as the two of you walk together.
Who kinda adores the snow and cold weather for the simple fact that it hides how much he blushes around you and gives him a new excuse to use.
Loves seeing the happy look on your fave when you open presents, it makes him fall for you even harder and all he wants to do is provide the whole world and more just to keep that expression on your face.
Spends most of the holiday with his brothers and majority of his paychecks around this time are blown on providing gifts for his siblings—many purchases made without even so much as a price check beforehand.
❅ Nanami Kento
NSFW
Cooking Christmas dinner ends up with you either bent over the counter or spread out on top of the counter every year. Nanami basically calls it tradition at this point. He just has to have you instead of focusing on finishing the meal set for Christmas day.
And what makes it so much better is that Nanami also uses this time to reveal how much he’s into food play. The man can’t help but want to lick some sort of frosting or cream (aside from his own) up off of your soft skin. Swearing everything tastes better when it’s eaten off of you.
Or, sometimes Nanami claims that pistoning his sharp hips into you while you’re bent over the counter helps him focus on reading the recipe to whatever he’s making. Apparently your moans keep him focused on the task at hand (literally) and each clench of your cunt around his thick shaft make his senses sharper (his words not mine…).
That, and there’s nothing more fun than leaving a cliche powdered handprint on the fat of your ass after a couple smacks in between his rough thrusts. You find his ability to multitask insane. He’s fucking your legs to complete mush and yet baking a cake at the same time like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
Not to mention the way he’ll have you suck a taste test off of his fingers just to hear you moan out a stuttered response of how good it tastes.
SFW
Nanami is the best gift giver, naturally. Okay, yeah, you mentioned this item once as you were describing to him a dream you had like three years ago before the two of you were even together but who caresss, right? It’s not his fault he has such a sharp memory and has hung off of your every word for as long as he’s known you…
One thing your husband loves to do around this time is slow dance with you to some classical Christmas music. It feels sappy and sweet—swaying with the love of his life as joyful steady music flitters within the air.
He definitely cannot wait to have children with you because he sees the way your face lights up as you watch children durning the holidays. Their laughter is so pure and really brings the Christmas spirit into the hearts of anyone nearby.
Who doesn’t go crazy with decorations or anything but he will have one absurdly large tree with a ridiculous number of ornaments just because.
#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk x reader smut#jjk#jjk x reader#anime smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo smut#jjk x you smut#choso smut#gojo x reader#smut#toji smut#jjk gojo#sukuna ryomen x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x reader#yuki tsukumo x reader smut#yuki tsukumo x reader#shoko x reader#shoko smut#nanami kento x reader#nanami smut#geto smut#suguru geto smut#ino takuma smut#ino x you
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hi! i saw you were looking for angst requests and i thought about your last post with zoro. maybe reader and him were in a relationship before getting separated and the meeting/reunion turns angsty instead? like idk maybe he wants to take a break from the relationship and reader didn’t expect that
thanks ♡
Thank youuu for this request! This was hurting me while writing🥲
Seeing Zoro after the 2 year timeskip💔
Pairing: Zoro x GN! reader Contains: angst Wc: 810
The air on Sabaody Archipelago was humid, thick with the tension of reunions and anticipation. The two years apart had felt like a lifetime. You’d spent every day wondering what Zoro was doing, if he was safe, and whether he thought about you as much as you thought about him.
You had been in a relationship before the crew’s separation—a bond that had been as steady and unyielding as the man himself. Though he wasn’t the type to wax poetic about love, his actions had always spoken louder than words. The way he’d tilt his head toward you when you talked, the rare but genuine smiles he reserved just for you, and how he’d stand a little closer during battles, ready to shield you from danger.
But now, as he approached the Thousand Sunny, something felt... off.
You spotted him before he saw you. His green hair was as unruly as ever, his body broader, more imposing, with that deep scar slashing across his left eye. He looked every bit the warrior you remembered, but there was a heaviness in his steps, a tightness in his jaw that made your heart clench.
“Zoro!” you called, rushing toward him.
His eye flicked to you, and for a split second, you saw something flash in his gaze—relief, maybe—but it was gone as quickly as it appeared.
“Y/n.” His voice was steady, but it lacked the warmth you’d been aching to hear.
You slowed as you reached him, uncertainty creeping in. “It’s been so long,” you said, trying to keep your voice light despite the unease blooming in your chest. “You look... strong.”
He gave a curt nod. “You look good too.”
The formality of his words made your heart sink. This wasn’t the Zoro you knew. Something was wrong.
“Zoro, are you okay?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
He hesitated, his gaze dropping to the ground for a moment before meeting yours again. “We need to talk.”
Your stomach twisted. That was never a good way to start a conversation. “Okay,” you said cautiously. “What’s going on?”
Zoro crossed his arms over his chest, his expression unreadable. “I’ve been thinking... about us.”
“Us?” Your heart pounded in your chest, a cold dread creeping up your spine.
He exhaled sharply, like he was steeling himself for a fight. “During these two years, I had one goal: to get stronger. To make sure I could protect everyone—protect you. But...” He paused, his eye narrowing slightly. “I can’t let myself get distracted.”
“Distracted?” you repeated, your voice trembling.
“I need to focus on my goal,” he said, his tone firm. “On becoming the greatest swordsman. And... being in a relationship... it’s—”
“A distraction?” you finished for him, your voice cracking.
Zoro flinched at the pain in your tone but didn’t deny it.
You took a step back, shaking your head. “I waited for you, Zoro. For two years. I thought about you every day, wondering if you were safe, if you missed me as much as I missed you. And now you’re telling me you want to take a break?”
His jaw clenched. “It’s not about you, Y/n. This is about me. I can’t afford to lose focus—”
“Don’t do that,” you interrupted, anger and hurt bubbling to the surface. “Don’t act like this is all for some noble cause. If you didn’t want this anymore, you should’ve just said so.”
“It’s not that simple,” he snapped, his voice rising for the first time.
“Isn’t it?” you shot back, your eyes stinging with unshed tears. “You made me believe we had something worth holding onto, and now you’re throwing it away because you think love makes you weak?”
Zoro’s fists tightened at his sides, his expression conflicted. “I’m not throwing it away,” he said, his voice quieter now. “I just... I need time. I need to be sure that when I’m with you, I can give you everything you deserve. And right now, I can’t do that.”
Your chest ached at his words, but the anger was still there, a protective shield against the heartbreak threatening to consume you. “You don’t get to decide what I deserve, Zoro. You don’t get to make this decision for both of us.”
He looked away, his silence cutting deeper than any words could.
The pain was overwhelming, but you refused to let him see you break. “Fine,” you said, your voice trembling but firm. “If that’s what you want, I won’t stand in your way. But don’t expect me to wait around again.”
Zoro’s eye snapped back to yours, a flicker of regret crossing his face. “Y/n—”
“Good luck, Zoro,” you said, cutting him off. Without waiting for a response, you turned and walked away, your vision blurring with tears you refused to shed.
Behind you, Zoro stood frozen, his hands clenched into fists. He had always prided himself on his strength, but in that moment, he felt the weight of a different kind of loss—a wound that no amount of training could heal.
♡♡♡
#anime#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece x y/n#one piece x you#one piece zoro#roronoa zoro#zoro x reader#zoro x y/n#zoro x you#zoro angst
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what kind of ddlc fanartist would i be if i didn’t draw the act 3 cg?
made this little thing too
#ddlc#ddlc monika#ok but like i don’t really like how this turned out#but i also spent way too much time on it to just let it pick up dust in my folder#anyway#i tried to make monika a tad bit more unhinged looking than the cg#idk if it ended up coming across that way but wtvr#art stuff#animatic stuff
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Cw: eyestrain
#sam and max#sam and max fanart#freelance police#sam and max freelance police#artoftheday#snm#freelance husbands#the devils playhouse#tdp spoilers#smiling friends#theyve taken over my brain#mesmerizer#i spent way too much time on this#I don’t really like the outcome but too bad ig#i have art block#idk what else to tag
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Kanda accepting his birthday wishes today ^
it’s the sonic plushie meme lmaoooo
#don’t ask why they’re disembodied!! idk!!!!#it looks way too warm on my phone and i hate itttttt#but i spent too much time on this so i can’t have all this back pain for nothing#curse of i liked the sketch better upon me too ugh#kanda yuu#yu kanda#alma karma#yulma#yuulma#dgm#d.gray-man#d.gray man#d gray man#dgm fanart#aaaaaaaaaa
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It always makes me sad whenever stories with hopeful messages or lighthearted moments are sometimes dismissed as unintelligent or weaker than tragedies. Isn't joy and hope what makes a dark journey worthwhile? Not every story needs an unhappy ending to serve as a lesson.
I will forever be a fan of stories that say hey, maybe the world is a rough place, and it will always be this way, but you can make a difference with the people who matter to you. Even if no one else will know, even if no one else will remember, the ones you loved, and who loved you in return, will remember. People who are holding onto you, even at the end of everything else. People who remind you that new beginnings are born from the ashes.
My favorite stories will always end with love, hope, and the sun rising on the horizon after hell and high waters. The world can be so cruel, but we can choose not to be as individuals. Joy is as human as anger and sorrow. Joy is what we reach for when we are at our lowest, whether we realize it or not. We want what was lost back. I love stories where the characters reach the light at the end of the tunnel, emerge on the other side, and are allowed to heal. Even if they’ve done bad things, even if they aren’t perfect, isn’t that true of all of us?
#Parker says things#writing stuff#I’ve been going through some big changes this year and honestly every year up til this point#I’m tired. but I’m healing. I like writing about similar#I’m damaged. I’m flawed. I’m a little broken. but I can still be good#I can still seek light after everything that’s happened#this time last year I was writing out of desperation. putting something out there in case I didn’t make it#but I made it. I’m still here. even if I flubbed along the way#i spent a lot of time hating the person I was this time last year? now I just want to hug him#he’s gonna be okay. kinda funny the stuff I wrote to stay alive led me to someone who changed my life for the better#and I changed for the better too? special thanks to my clown frogs and my Kanonno squad#I don’t talk about stuff and idk if you guys are seeing this but just know you mean a lot to me#it’s late and I’m rambling but reading and writing about light in the darkness led me to my own light#so I’m going to keep at it#thank you especially to Nyx. don’t know where I’d be without you but I love you so much#tricksterlatte writes#this is sentimental but I don’t care#expanded version of a post from bird app
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i have a feeling my mom (who has acted extremely upset + sympathetic about me sweating profusely in my shitty 80+ degree room) is going to tell me that they can’t help me replace my 20+ year old ac unit for $250, even tho they are about to pay Thousands of dollars to replace their central ac bc clearly her needs are more important than mine (when one of my worst and most impactful symptoms is heat intolerance, which makes me dehydrated and even more dizzy and fatigued and i’ve been getting dehydration headaches even tho i’m drinking almost a gallon a day)
#like idk if it’s just the ptsd and i’m psyching myself out for nothing but i don’t feel good abt it#to the point of being extremely anxious abt asking her abt it and not knowing how to approach the convo not angrily#it’s just extremely frustrating bc i 100% Know my stepdad has the money to help me. if he says no it’s literally just bc he doesn’t like me#and cares more abt having retirement money than me not being even more ill and suicidal than i already am#Anyway i’ve been feeling like i’m being hunted for sport all day#and regardless i’m ordering it tomorrow bc i Cannot keep living like this and it’s a basic need#it would just be like half of the money i’ve worked to save up down the drain#and even longer until i can move out which i Desperately need to do at this point#idk man it’s just like. if they don’t offer to even help w Half of the cost i will have lost All trust in Her especially#bc 99% of the time she doesn’t give a single shit what that man thinks. she spends his money Constantly#literally in the past month she spent like $300 on a Bush Trimmer and a Chainsaw#she pays $200 monthly for an art studio that she barely uses#but ah yes my immediate safety and health is too much to ask for. totally understandable#just Extremely maddening when she constantly tells me that she’ll do Anything to help me and was like Why didn’t you tell me sooner????#abt my ac not working#like my brother in christ letting me bring a tower fan up to my room is not going to fix the situation 👍#ventnote
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got the posting anxiety bad tonight
#click clack#ok a peak into my thought process and anxiety here we go#ok so the art is almost done and up to standard I would post onto my art blog#BUT for some reason the thought of posting art of my ocs there scares me#because even tho it’s my art blog in my mind it’s the equivalent to a art gallery that demands being detached????? from the art#like once I share it there it’s no longer ‘mine’ but to the public#and my ocs (plus the stories that go with them) are like the closest to my heart and relinquishing them feels like a lot#a part of my imagination that I spent so much time with developing over the years to be placed up for judgement…#so then the solution could be to put it here on my personal! the online space cozy enough and filled with other posts that could easily bury#the original posts I put here#but there goes my other dilemma. i don’t want them too associated with my personal for if one day i do muster up something for publication#my big fear is that ppl will find this space and go thru everything. the fear of being perceived and judged 😵💫#all the hypotheticals and anxiety for something that may not even happen#dumb mind problems my head made up 🙄#anyway writing it out helped lol I’m posting it to my art blog I decided 👍#I have to work on getting that blog to be comfortable space to post… i should lower that silly self imposed standard I set for myself#and be whatever about ppl being aware of my online presences#maybe… [grinding my teeth] I should post my messy sketches onto my art blog…#I should take my friends suggestion and make a website to feature my ocs…🤔#idk my only other solution that doesn’t feel viable to mitigate the anxiety is to slowly introduce my ocs in the background of setting art#just a slow drip until they are in the forefront#bleghhh whatever much ado about nothing it’s like I never posted my ocs ever when I have indeed posted them before on both places ( º_º )#I’m realizing it happens too when I post too much fanart in a row… I have curator disease??? 🫨#or something I used to be very particular about what order I reblog stuff like it used to be by color and content balanced out#I still do to a lesser degree… but it used to be pretty bad#post order compulsion????#the fear of being abrupt and incohesive in between posts…#if you read this far thanks you can now see how much this consumes me 🙃
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it’s the last Sunday before Sunday’s banner ends so i suppose it’s about time for me to finally boot up HSR and pull him home… wish me luck
#i’m gonna need it bc i haven’t rlly played much since 2.3 so my savings are.. not Great#honkai star rail#hsr sunday#viddy game stuff#Seven.txt#it’s not that i don’t Want to play i just haven’t made the time to do so lately#i’m trying to juggle 4 live service gacha games at the same time and i am dropping all of the balls constantly 😔#i don’t feel like i’m doing much more than i used to but for some reason i seem to have a lot less free time for gaming lately#idk it’s probably just my time management getting worse#Anyways so yeah i haven’t played much since the Boothill hype. and i haven’t pulled a single new 5 star since his release#but i also haven’t played much at all during that time so i’ve only got 54 pulls saved :)#and if that’s enough to get me Sunday and his LC i’ll lose my fucking mind bc ain’t no way i’ll get that lucky#i Do have a good luck streak with Light Cones but i’ve only pulled for 3 so that’s not that impressive#i got Acheron’s on a won 50/50 at 14(!!!) pity and Aventurine’s on a won 50/50 at 22 pity so those were kinda insane to me#but then i don’t remember how it went for Boothill’s LC and i didnt log those pulls so i couldnt tell ya if the good luck streak continued#so anyways yeah probably gonna have to whale a lil bit but that’s ok bc it’s christmas time#i allow myself to whale (or. more like Dolphin perhaps) guilt-free on these games a lil bit on my birthday and christmas as gifts to myself#i used it on Xilonen and her sig weapon back around my birthday and now i’ll use this one on Sunday#ain’t no way i’m letting him pass me by when he’s the one that really hooked me into HSR in the first place#i was halfheartedly playing for a while but as soon as i saw the first hint of him on that livestream Penacony teaser i was Obsessed#don’t think i’ve ever been that excited for a character that i knew next to nothing about aside from a lil chibi avatar -#- and some line about him being malevolent. and i don’t even like the chibi style At All so that speaks to how strong his design was#or maybe it just shows how i see an angel coded character with weird-cool-head-wings and a halo and my brain worms start raving#well it’s 1am here so Technically it’s Monday now but shhhhhh it’s still Sunday in my Heart ok? and that’s what matters#and it’s still kinda Sunday on the American server bc the daily reset isn’t until like. 3am for me#but it’ll still probably record it as me having pulled him on the 23rd :/ oh well can’t turn back time#i guess i Could wait until Christmas morning but i don’t wanna flirt with the deadline so closely#this is close enough for me to count it as my Christmas pulls#and we spent Too Damn long without confirmation of his playability (though i always had faith in the leaks 😤🙏🏻) so i deserve this lmao#i mean i’ve waited longer. i waited for Scara! i waited for Baizhu! but still. all the ‘he wont be playable’ fearmongerers can kiss my ass
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i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?
can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit
#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me#i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to#me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited#still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free#and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk#and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted#tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt#and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought#that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners#bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever#especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but#despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people#or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend#i’m just. noticing behaviors#they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i#idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it#so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all#bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting#ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel#discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all#and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth#which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about#but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them#humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol
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You know when you’re feeling creative but you’re too lazy to draw hands?
Yup that’s me today
#art#my art#OC#original drawing#original character#digital art#cute#pastel#idk what this is#didn’t feel like drawing hands#she’s pretty cute though#I don’t normally draw stuff like this#I’ve spent too much time away from kh#time to make some more fan art!
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can you believe I’m going to try and do this with two other characters? I have mixed feelings on this overall
✧ reblogs are appreciated ✧ | ♡ buy me a kofi ♡ | ☾ commission info ☽
#whimsy whispers#crystalart.png#crystals ocs#dnd#d&d#dungeons and dragons#dungeons & dragons#character design#cashmere#cashmere heartfilia#I hate this overall#I spent too much time on it and don’t even really like how it looks but that’s like true about everything I draw#idk if I actually do want to do this for my other ocs#if I do I’m not doing diff outfits like I did for cashmere#the outfits i I drew for this are so ugly and I should’ve just stuck with the same outfit but I’m Stupid
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🙄🙄🙄
#bro idk what else to do lmao#sorry for not posting 1749 gifsets a day sorry for not having energy sorry for having a job that’s incredibly demanding and taxing#like i went from one gif series that was 8 months long to this current gif series that’s 18 months long#and it’s just fruitless lmao i’m never part of any community ever#i’m sorry i don’t reach out as much i’m so so so tired all the time#i have 2 days off a week and they’re spent sleeping#idk what to do i don’t Owe anyone my time that’s such a huge thing for me#but also like how the fuck am i This invisible#it’s always look at all these amazing people. and emmeline is here too i guess idk i forgot#i work so hard to make content of people i love and enjoy#esp for a member that often doesn’t Get the same amount of content made#and it’s just feels like Shit to get constantly overlooked#bc of idk i’m#sorry if i did something to make anyone upset i just try to stay in my lane#but it hurts so badly to always be excluded#like So fucking badly#when i work so hard and have been working so hard#idk i’ll just never fit in i guess#tbd
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..
#sometimes I wonder if people in my life miss me the way I miss them#and logically I’m sure they do#I’m sure they think of me and miss me and all of that#but I think sometimes I have almost like emotional permanence with that stuff#because I’ll go weeks without hearing from close friends or months from family#and then someone will be like ‘hey!’ and it’s great#but then I sit on the other side of it and put more distance than I maybe mean too#just because I don’t want to always be the first to reach out#or to reach out too much and push people away#and I don’t know which answer is the right answer#maybe there isn’t one and doesn’t need to be one#but I think about this a lot#especially lately since I’ve spent more time with myself#I’m for sure trying to make more of an effort with some people#but also just letting people come to me#but neither is really easy or comfortable every time#so idk just some thoughts#and not anything that needs validation or anything like that#just speaking aloud#mine#text post#friends
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I could fix s9 Dean
#you could argue his motivations for the Ezekiel debacle were selfish but I truly think he hates himself too much for that#yes he’s afraid of being alone but my god it’s been beaten into his head since he was a child to never let any harm befall Sammy#and he’s failed so miserably at that lol#and the one time! the ONE TIME that Dean had accepted sam was going to sacrifice himself#he spent upwards of 1000 years trapped with lucifer getting (canonically!) raped!#I’m not saying Dean did THE RIGHT THING especially with the guy who’s bodily autonomy has been violated so many times via possession#I’m just saying IT MAKES SENSE WHY HE DID WHAT HE DID#also since like season 1? 2? dean’s whole thing has been ‘it scares me what I’m willing to do for family’ well!#and he knows he was wrong he is like aware that he was in the wrong#anyway sam said he wouldn’t do the same for Dean and I’m going to be honest. I DON’T BELIEVE HIM#ALSO this was RIGHT after they decided to choose each other instead of boarding up hell#so what was Dean supposed to do LET SAM DIE? FOR NOTHING? it all would’ve been for naught!!!!!#and sam coming back later with ‘you talked me into that’ idk king. that was a 2 way street#SORRY IM SORRY I JUST UNDERSTAND WHY HE DID IT IS ALL#please don’t get mad at me samgirls ilu
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being friends with byan is so weird bc they say they want you to have the balls to be bluntly honest with them, but then the very moment you're honest about something they don't like, they're peacing out, all "lmao ok friendship ended byeeeee"
#honesty is great until you're addressing their insecurities or anything they're currently in denial over#they have a... weird relationship with honesty lmao#they'll be harshly honest about almost anything and not pull a single damn punch#they will tell you easily that their biological mother didn't want them and that they've lived on the street#they'll tell you that they haven't had a foster home last more than 10 months & that one of their foster parents almost killed them#but they won't tell you about the misery these events caused & how its shaped them as a person#and then there's the way they can dish it but can't take it#they'll tell you to your face everything that's wrong with you (in their opinion)#but the moment you do the same back.... lmao fuck you what the hell kinda bullshit#they're so SO sensitive. so much more so than they let on. and they don't tolerate being called on their shit well.#but I think part of that is bc they spent a lot of their life being belittled rather than built up#and they ended up feeling like every time they were abandoned it was bc of their flaws#so if ur pointing them out........ it's only a matter of time before ur leaving too. so they better leave first.#but also they just hate being Seen. they hate when someone can see behind their facade.#if someone else can see ur pain that means it's really there or something :)#idk I have way more thoughts about this than I realized when I started typing and now the tags are gonna be longer than the post oops#might....... have to make a note to get into all this in a more in depth headcanon at some point#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ OOC ⋮ DON’T @ ME.
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