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padfootastic · 2 years ago

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Saudade

You can also read it on Ao3

Remus knew he was a coward.

It’s why he always preferred to blend in. He couldn’t afford not to. It’s also why, to his eternal shame and regret, he’d never bothered to even question the circumstances of Sirius’s imprisonment. His betrayal.

Because he knew if he looked even slightly below the surface, it’d shatter.

(He’d shatter)

Because he wasn’t just a coward, was he. He was also helpless.

No.

Powerless.

He was powerless.

It didn’t matter if he knew Sirius was innocent, if not of the murders then definitely the betrayal (because he knew, didn't he, that Sirius Black would never—as long as he had breath in his body, magic in his veins, life in his heart—do anything to hurt James Potter. It was a fundamental truth of life. There were five exceptions to Gamp’s law of elemental transformation, the sun set in the west, and Sirius was unfailingly loyal to James. Isn’t that how it's always been?)

Because even if the truth was not what it seemed, he couldn’t do anything about it.

So he lived his lie. Didn't bother to look past the newspapers blaring the inevitability of a Black turning to the dark side. It validated his own feelings, his mistrust, his circumstances.

It was a profoundly selfish act, but it was all Remus could do.

x-x-x-x

There was…one moment when he tried, just the bare minimum, really, in hindsight but it was enough to, if not soothe, then push down the constant guilt gnawing at him.

“Mr. Lupin.” Dumbledore looked down at him through his half moon glasses. “What can I do for you?”

Remus didn’t know whether to appreciate the even tone or not. In the past month, his entire life had collapsed around him. He’d gone from being part of a whole, one of four, to completely alone. Even putting one step in front of the other was getting too much for him and on some days, he forewent even that small action. Laying in bed, contemplating his entire life and how it went so wrong in less time than it took to blink—that was all he had the energy for these days.

So to hear Professor Dumbledore refer to him like that, almost pleasantly, as if they were still back in school and Remus had just bumped into him in the corridor—it was equal parts relieving and maddening.

He chose to ignore that for now, though. He had enough going on without discovering new things to be bothered about. Not like he had the energy for it, either.

“Headmaster, I—“ Remus gulped nervously. Now that he was here, it felt much more daunting than he could have imagined. What would he even say?

“Yes?”

Remus took a shaky breath and tried again. “Professor, are you—is it completely without doubt that Sirius—“ He couldn’t finish the sentence but he knew the other man understood what he was trying to say.

“Mr. Lupin…Remus,” Dumbledore started gently, and already Remus was regretting this little excursion. “I know the past month can’t have been easy for you. I wouldn’t even presume to understand how bad it must’ve been. None of us thought that Mr. Black could…” He trailed off, eyes staring at a door behind Remus. He didn’t think he’d imagined the sadness that flashed in his eyes, a meagre reflection of his own agony.

It was only a momentary slip, though, as his eyes hardened and steel coated his next words. “But what’s done is done, despite the tragedy of it all. Mr. Black made his choice, and now it is time for you to do the same.” He gave a sad smile, a damning one that spoke of his finality in the matter. “It is always harder to be the one left behind, Mr. Lupin, and your fate is one I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. I can only hope that you find the strength I know you have in you, and use it to move on from this episode.”

Remus could only sit there, stunned and numb and feeling like his skin was tearing itself apart from the inside, the way it did on full moons except worse.

An episode, Dumbledore said, as if he wasn’t talking about his family, his entire life. As if this was a schoolyard skirmish, an encore of that horrid ‘prank’ in fifth year, one he could forget if he so wished to. As if it was that easy to carve away the parts of himself that were entwined with the rest of his brothers (which made up most of him— mind, body, soul, and magic). As if he would even want to.

Remus didn’t try again after that, not with Dumbledore and definitely not with anyone else. If the man who was their leader seemed so sure, then who was Remus to go against his word?

(He’d never regretted anything more in his life, perhaps with the exception of the belief that caused this in the first place)

x-x-x-x

They didn’t talk about it.

At first, there was the whole thing with Pettigrew and being on the run and everything that came with it. Once that got sorted, though, there was no excuse other than it was easy.

Easy to ignore the ache in his heart when the distance between them reared it’s ugly head.

Easy to turn away when he saw the way Molly and Dumbledore treated Sirius in his own house, because isn’t that what he’d been doing so far?

Easy to stay away, altogether.

Sirius never brought it up either. Perhaps on purpose, too, because the pain in his eyes never lessened. Remus could pick out multiple instances where he opened his mouth to say something before abruptly shutting down.

That was another difference. Pre-azkaban Sirius wouldn’t have hesitated like that, not with Remus.

It only drove the knife further in. But did he have anyone to blame but himself?

It was just after Hogwarts had closed. Harry, who’d finished his fifth year, had gone back to the Dursleys but not for long because in a turn of events no one could have predicted, Sirius’ case had completely upended itself in the aftermath of the DoM debacle. Remus still didn’t like to think about it, how close he—they’d come to losing Sirius (again) and how it was only sheer dumb luck—a rock that made him stumble sideways instead of back—that saved him from falling into the Veil.

Perhaps the only positive of the evening was the Minister seeing Sirius Black fighting unequivocally for the Light and against the Death Eaters. In Remus’ opinion, it would be quite some time before anyone forgot the image of escaped inmate Sirius Black laughing at Bellatrix Lestrange in a strange parody of his actions fifteen years ago. The cold laughter juxtaposed with the deadly spells he’d been aiming at his cousin was enough to stun everyone not in the know and that was how an enquiry had been conducted into the case, leading to where they were today.

Remus, however, had spent every minute he could hiding away, even more than before. He couldn’t bear to show his face at Grimmauld Place—the idea of seeing Sirius actually sent a wave of shivers down his spine.

But, as he’d always known, his time did run out.

x-x-x-x

“So are we talking about this then?” Sirius’ voice is tired, perpetually exhausted as it seems to be these days.

They were sitting at the dining table, cups of tea long gone cold in their hands. It was the first time in months Remus has allowed himself to be in the same room as Sirius (it shouldn’t be like this. it never was before. how did it all go so wrong) and the other man wasn’t stupid. Even if Remus hadn’t initiated the conversation, he knew they’d have it. Of course it was Sirius who poked the sleeping dragon. He had always been the braver of the two. Of course, if it was a competition, then James Potter would’ve come leagues ahead of either of them, his passion and intensity unmatched.

(But James isn’t here right now and that’s really the cause of half their problems, is it not?)

Sirius was…quieter, more focused, but plenty brave enough. If Remus allowed himself to think about it, it’s no surprise he brought it up first. In fact, it’s more surprising that he hadn’t so far.

Still. “Talk about what?” he regrets the words almost as soon as they slip out of his mouth. Sirius only looks at him steadily.

Of course he knows what this is about but it’s easier to cling to what you’ve been hiding behind all this while, is it not? But is it fair, to him? More importantly, is it fair to Sirius? Does he not deserve an honest answer, an honest friend?

It’s that which pushes him to try again.

“I-I didn’t mean that.”

“Sure you did, Remus.”

“Alright,” he amended. “I shouldn’t have meant that.” And that at least is true. It gets a wry smile out of Sirius.

“There’s a lot I shouldn’t have done,” he continued, which neatly drives the mirth away. Remus looked down, at his fingers, the bitten down nails and ink stains, so he didn’t have to stare into the consequences of his actions.

‘I should—apologise.”

“Do you want to?”

His head snapped up, the sting of the comment settling under his skin like an itch. How could he think—? One look at Sirius’ face, however, devoid of any malice or cruelty, and the indignant feeling in him dies out as quickly as it rose.

It was a fair question. He hated the fact but couldn’t deny it.

How would Sirius know about the hundreds of hours he’d spent screaming and crying and begging someone, anyone to turn back time, to make things better, to give him a second chance?

Sirius couldn’t know about the time Remus hadn’t been able to get out of his house for seven months, two weeks, sixteen days straight, surviving only on dry crackers and tepid tea and stale bread and feeling guilty for doing so. He’d spent the entire time staring blankly at the sickly green wall of his bedroom, living in a haunting loop of his memories and wishing he was back in them.

Sirius hadn’t seen any of that.

(Would it have made a difference, if he had, Remus thinks. They weren’t indicative of anything but his own guilt, certainly didn’t stem from any moral conviction in Sirius—and what value did it have for someone who was being tortured day and night? living with the knowledge that he’d been left behind without so much as a second thought?)

It’s not something he’s thought about before—in those fantasies where everything is as it was before. Sirius apologises, Remus apologises, they hug it out and it’ll all be better again—but now, now he can’t help but wonder about the efficacy of platitudes.

He hated Sirius’ matter of fact resignation even more, like there was no other way for Remus to react except defensively. (It wasn’t always like this. The Marauders, James & Sirius, they’d always been his biggest believers. They’d made him capable of touching the sky and the stars and everything in between and Remus has been untethered ever since that fateful halloween. There was a time, when anyone expecting any less of Remus—even himself—than they should would’ve gotten all of Sirius’ hackles raised—‘our Moony’s worth a dozen of you and you should only be so lucky to get to see that’—so it stung particularly bitterly when it was the same man expressing this apathy.

The juxtaposition of the two Sirius’ in his head was enough to give Remus a headache at the best of times, let alone now.

So he takes a deep breath, lets the feeling wash away, and nods.

“You don’t have any reason to believe me, and I don’t blame you for it, but I do. Want to, that is.”

Sirius didn’t reply but Remus continued, undeterred.

“I didn’t for a long time. I didn’t want to, not at all. Because it would be my fault, you know? And I was so tired, Sirius, god. I was exhausted trying to keep up this pretense. I just needed to get the burden off.”

Sirius just looked at him, silent. Remus could see the way his eyes flick around the room, however, and how his fingers trembled ever so slightly. He might’ve been out of Azkaban but the signs would last a long time.

“What made you change your mind, then?” There's a note of curiosity in Sirius’ voice and Remus cannot articulate the relief that fills him at hearing it. Anything, even anger or blame, was better than that bland apathy that made his skin itch.

The question itself makes him pause, however. Because he’s guilty, nay, he’s ashamed of the answer he’s about to give. He contemplated shutting up, or perhaps leaving the room altogether, and it takes longer than it should for him to banish the thought.

“Remus?” Sirius asked again and it’s the knowing look in his eyes that made him close his eyes in defeat. He should’ve known he couldn’t have avoided this. This was a man who knew him better than anyone else who’s alive right now—how could he ever have thought he’d be able to hide things from him?

So he takes a deep, fortifying breath. Releases it slowly, grounding himself in the process.

“When I came to Hogwarts.”

“The time I broke out?

Remus tilts his head in the barest hint of confirmation. Sirius nods like he’d expected that.

Again, Remus wanted to be offended—but how could he?

“How’d you—“

—know?” Sirius finished. Remus nodded, a sharp, jagged thing that’s barely an answer.

Sirius smiled ruefully. It looked wrong on him, like a shirt stretched out and shrunk back down with a charm. “Because I know you, Remus. And though it hurt, I always knew you didn’t believe in me, at least not at the end there.

I’ve had nothing but time all this while. Time to think, to wonder where it all went wrong, what I could’ve done—time even to curse James out,” he lets out a hollow chuckle at that, one that Remus echoes because just the idea of Sirius cursing at James is so absurd, there’s nothing you can do but laugh at it, morbid though it may be in the moment.

“And the only thing I can think of is how bad we messed up. I don’t— you know the worst part about this, Remus?” Sirius asks, in his tired, broken voice. Just hearing it makes him want to flinch and hide away. Instead, he brings himself to give another shaky nod.

“I wouldn’t have cared one bit if you’d thought I was a mass murderer. Hell, even being a Death Eater could be believable under the right circumstances and you were away so long, I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d entertained the thought.”

Remus waited for the ‘but’ with his heart in his mouth, tasting ash and regret and guilt. He knew what was about to come, had wondered the same thing hundreds of times, going round and round in circles with no relief to be found.

“But how could you ever, even just for a second let alone 12 years, think I could do that to Ja—“ here, his voice broke, unable to even finish the name. Sirius’ trembling hands clenched into fists, hard enough that he could see the knuckles losing color. The words were just as devastating as he could have imagined, if not more. Coming from another’s mouth and not just whirling in his thoughts, it seemed even more damning in the light of day.

And that was just it, wasn’t it. It was this that confirmed what Remus had known from the moment he’d been made aware of Sirius’ innocence.

There would be no forgiveness here. The most he could hope for was closure, perhaps a chance to clear the air, as it were, and that was only if Sirius was feeling merciful. Which, when it came to James, he seldom did. Remus would know; he’d seen the aftermath of what happened to those who dared touch James Potter.

And Remus? Ne hadn’t just hurt Sirius—that was almost inconsequential in the larger scheme of things—no, Remus’ biggest mistake was besmirching the legacy, the honor of James Potter.

Sirius had destroyed people for far less.

It was this realisation that weighed heavy on him, head bowing until his chin touched his chest, unable to hold it up anymore, not knowing what to say and unsure whether he should.

“I can forgive you almost anything, Remus, you know that. I wouldn’t have cared one whit about anything else but that you could think that—that anyone who knew us could—it was that, more than the dementors, more than the crazed prisoners, more than the taunts and insults and torture, that’s what almost broke me in Azkaban.”

A sob broke out from Remus’ chest, ugly and desperate and entirely unfair on his part. Sirius didn’t need his guilt, nor his despair. Remus didn't deserve to be unhappy in front of him. He had made his own bed and now he was to lie in it. He couldn’t even be happy about the hint of steel he could hear underlying Sirius’ words, a faint echo of his past self. Because the implications it held for him were devastating. Remus knew he wouldn’t lose Sirius completely—they had too much history for that, but he’d lose everything that made Sirius him. He’d been spoiled, allowed into the small, small circle of people Sirius truly let in, and he knew there would be no going back. There would be perfect civility, and amicable conversations, but he’d never have his Sirius back. He’d get the Sirius Black the rest of the world saw, the one with the impeccable masks, who was always in control—but not Padfoot, never Padfoot anymore.

And that was to be his penance.

“I am—I truly am sorry, Sirius. You’d never know how much. I just—I couldn’t—I don’t think I’ve taken one full breath since that night, everything was too fast and I couldn’t think and I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t used to being alone anymore,” he said, leaning forward desperately, wanting to explain (not justify, never justify), not wanting Sirius to leave thinking this was—this was what Remus wanted. because he didn't, never could’ve imagined things ending up like this.

It was almost humbling, this ignoble end of the Marauders. They’d considered themselves untouchable, rulers of the world, sitting atop a throne only they could see. So many promises, a seemingly unbreakable bond, the best of the best.

And look at them now.

All of them in varying stages of decay, dead and dying.

“And I know, dammit I know that doesn’t count for shite. But please, I just—you have to know—“ his hands pressed together, pleading, as the words came out in a defeated plea, “I never meant for it to be like this.”

“The worst part of that,” Sirius smiled, small and broken and not even worth a shadow of his usual brilliance. “is that I know you mean that, Remus. I believe it too.”

A second passed, then two, before he delivered the final blow.

“I just wish you’d fought for us the way we had for you.”

#sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #he’s not here in person but he’s mentioned enough to be an imo character #but then when is he not when it comes to me #i edited the whole thing and added punctuation + capitalisation and lowkey prefer the og raw unedited one lol #it felt more fitting to this style of writing #but idk if that’s even readable to people lol #so we gotsa make lil creative sacrifices #please read and tell me what u think!!!#very desperate here. basically biting off the last of my fingernails #gonna be anxiously looking at all my notifs lmao #gimme feedback ok?#i wanna know what remus fans think tbh #yes yes im being v annoying and v greedy but. let me have this. pls.#i have—so many thoughts about this that i’ve held myself back from adding #bc i didn’t wanna tell too much #or add unnecessary shit just bc my brian wouldn’t stop #but i don’t think i can stop talking about this if anyone wants to lol #ok that’s enough of me now have fun!#pen’s writing

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windose20s · 2 years ago

Note

i probably won’t read it until tmrw ( i’m going to bed soon ) but i would love to know about this mmj story interpretation :D i may not know a lot abt pjsk but i’m rlly interested in ur interpretation !!

THANK YOU FOR ASKING OML i should probably revise this in the morning as its like. 12:45 am rn but i DONT care i am so autistic abt these silly idols

i’ll be using exclusively 3rd person and using canon prns here for readability but do keep in mind that i am haruka irl and that may be affecting how i interpret the story!! under the cut <3

ok so uhhh this is very loosely from memory its been a while since i’ve read the unit story (hence my note at the top abt how i should revise this in the morning lol) but a very brief summary for izaya:

minori hanasato really wants to be an idol!!! she’s been inspired by haruka kiritani since she was small (middle school? idk she looks really young in the art so maybe earlier) and works really hard to try to achieve her dream. unfortunately, she gets rejected from every auditon she attends. suddenly, haruka retires from idol activities. haruka starts going to minori’s school.

a lot of drama and training montages and virtual singers later, minori puts on a show to convince haruka to return to being an idol, this time with her (and two other retired idols that go to her school other than haruka) indie group instead of her previous employer. this show inspires haruka to not give up and reminds her how much she loved being an idol in the first place.

ok now to the actual interpretation part lolol

some people claim mmj’s story to be unhealthily positive (idk i think? again it is very late at night), but i..don’t really think that’s the case.

minori is very grateful for everything haruka has done for her, albeit through a stage/screen/what-have-you. haruka had shaped her unending optimism about becoming an idol. in the story, minori is stated to have failed at least 50 (i don’t remember if theres more but there’s DEFINITELY at least 50) auditions, but her hope never wavers. it’s deeply concerning to see the creator of her hope and belief in the fact that tomorrow will be a better day in a state where Haruka is obviously denying what she wants to do in favor of her fear of the unknown.

Everyone can see that Haruka misses being an idol. Miku acknowledges it, and Miku is aware of their feelings directly (bc sekai magic), so it’s true.

I’ve definitely seen people saying that Minori ‘dragged’ her unitmates back from their retirement and normal lives. But…the only reason they came back is that they wanted to. She didn’t force them to do anything. Airi and Shizuku are not doormats (Airi especially), they would tell her if she was unwelcome to involve them in idol activites.

Minori has big dreams, but theyre ultimately achievable for her (albeit through a lot of luck and fate of three popular retired idols going to her school being willing to join her, but still). For most of her life, she’s looked up to the concept of idols and the thought of delivering hope to the world. She wants to make the world better. She wants to be what Haruka was to her for someone else.

anyways live laugh love minori hanasato

#some of this was a thinly veiled minori lovepost but you can fight me #/lh /j #also i listened to More!Jump!More! the entire time i wrote this btw. unimportant but i just felt like mentioning it

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idy-ll-ique · 4 years ago

Text

Apprentice.

Pairing: Stephen Strange x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Mutual Pining

Warning: Forced kissing (?) idk how to put it. Almost one non-consensual kiss.

Summary: Doctor Strange, World's Greatest Sorcerer, is in love with his apprentice. Unfortunately, when it comes to love, he's a dumbass.

Author's Note: Hey guys I'm sorry I haven't posted in so long! My college started, my classes are going on in full force and I haven't written anything readable in so long ugghhhh hope you guys enjoy this (Except for Loki, Spider-Man, Bonky and Steeb, the other characters' fics don't do that well 😳 but I'ma post this nonetheless)

---

Stephen POV:

I sighed as I watched Y/N sitting on the floor talking and joking around with the Cloak of Levitation. "Skedaddle, skedoodle..." "Y/N—" "Your dick is a noodle!" Levi made a happy noise and wrapped itself tightly around Y/N. She completely ignored me, laughing as the cloak hugged her.

Y/N was my apprentice. She also, coincidentally, happened to be the woman I was totally, hopelessly and obsessively in love with. "Y/N, if you're done, maybe you can come here and help me!" I yelled as cold-heartedly as possible, finally having enough. "Sorry, sir," she whispered.

Oh, the things she did to me when she called me 'sir'. Of course, Y/N was the best apprentice ever. She was the student every teacher dreamed of. Wait, that came out a bit creepy— She got up and quickly walked to me. Levi settled herself back on my shoulders. Y/N took a book in her hand and started reading.

I silently watched her as she focused on the book. Since I was so in love with her, my mind believed that maybe being cold to her would help me. I needed to get rid of distractions and Y/N... she was my biggest distraction. "Sir, I found it!" Y/N squealed, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Give that to me," I huffed, grabbing the book from her hand. "You may leave." Y/N nodded and got up, walking out of the library. I watched. The way her hips swayed when she walked, the way she only liked to wear skirts and sweaters all the time drove me crazy.

It was hard not to be in love with such a beautiful person.

Y/N POV:

"What's his problem," I grumbled as I picked my book off the stairs. I sat down on the fourth step and opened the book again. I was an apprentice to the one and only, Doctor Stephen Strange. I liked it at the New York Sanctum, that's where the both of us lived. I liked being an apprentice to the Sorcerer Supreme too, that is, if he treated me like a person.

He never talked politely to me. I was very damn sure that whatever it was, was my fault. I did something. So I started taking care more. I never messed up. It had been months since my last mistake. All of Strange's friends commented well about me. Wong and Mordo said I was the best apprentice there was. Even the Ancient One said I was good.

So what was Strange's problem? At least Levi liked me. She was the only one I could talk to freely, even though the cloak itself couldn't talk. As I quietly sat and read on the stairs, I heard a loud knocking on the door to the sanctum. Startled, I stood up. Before I could move, Strange was running down the stairs. "Don't move," he growled, stopping me as I followed him.

His hand collided hard with my chest and I was thrown back. I landed on the stairs on my butt. I groaned and scrambled back to my feet as Strange opened the door. Outside stood the two Norse Gods, Thor and Loki. My eyes widened.

I stood silently as the three of them chatted. A blush crept up my cheeks as I noticed that instead of focusing on what Strange was saying, Loki was eyeing me up.

I honestly didn't think I looked that great. Sure, I had a maintained figure and a thankfully unblemished face but no one would be into this. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and looked away, Loki's stare still burning holes through my body. I heard Strange sighing.

"Alright, follow me. Y/N, keep an eye on Loki. Make sure he doesn't touch anything," Stephen glared at me and went upstairs with Thor. I looked down. Why did Dr Strange hate me so much? As far as I remember, I had done nothing to him. "It's sad, how he treats you."

"What do you mean?" I looked up at Loki, confused. I grew extremely self conscious as Loki took a few steps towards me, smirking. "Judging by his tone and glare, he clearly despises you. Why do you still continue to be with him, dearest?" he crooned and I took a step back.

"It's— it's not what you think... I'm his apprentice, not his girlfriend," I whispered, uncomfortable. "An apprentice? How nice."

"Wh-What?"

I got incredibly scared when Loki smirked more and stepped closer to me. "That means you're available, aren't you? Unless..." I shook my head furiously. "I'm not dating," I said in a rush. Wait, why was I acting like that? I wasn't interested in him, not at all!

There was no denying he was handsome and intelligent, but I just didn't like him that way. "Good. I've always wanted a pretty princess like you." I audibly gulped as Loki stood an inch away from me. I was standing on the sixth step on the stairs while Loki stood on the fifth. Even still, he was taller than I was. He leaned down and breathed out.

My heart rate skyrocketed, what was he doing? Whatever it was, I didn't like it. I loved someone else. I was in love with my teacher, Stephen Strange. It hurt me everyday how much he hated me but I liked him a lot. As soon as Loki's lips were about to be placed on mine... "Loki, I told you not to touch anything!" Loki quickly pulled back and stepped down.

I continued standing where I was, my eyes closed as I breathed heavily. When I opened my eyes, I saw Strange glaring daggers at Loki. It looked as if he was about to kill Loki then and there. "Sir—" I started but he cut me off. "Ah-ah! Shut up, I'll deal with you later!" he growled.

"Yes, sir," I whispered, looking down. My eyes filled with tears, what was happening? When no one was looking, I wiped my tears.

Alas, I was wrong. Strange saw me wiping my tears and his heart finally shattered.

Stephen POV:

I could not believe the audacity of that terrible excuse for a demigod. How dare he try to kiss the love of my life right under my roof?! I was incredibly upset when I saw that Y/N wasn't pushing him away. I knew she had always been a shy person, but...

"Thor, take your brother and leave," I grunted, opening a portal. Thor was just looking around awkwardly as Loki smirked at me and I glared at him. "I'll not be forgetting about you, Y/N!" Loki purposely yelled as he stepped through the portal. I looked at Y/N as he said it and saw her flinching.

So she really didn't care about that man. My heart broke. Why was I treating her like this? Like a caged animal? Like a disappointing kid? Y/N was far from disappointing, she was excellent. When the portal closed, I looked at Y/N. "Care to explain?" I snapped, crossing my arms.

"It wasn't me, it was all him," she whispered, her voice breaking. She was trying not to break down. "What did he do?" I questioned. "He... he tried to kiss me. I didn't want to do it. I don't like him that way." Y/N was still looking at the ground, her book long forgotten on the stairs.

I picked it up. "I want you to look up when we talk!" Her head snapped up and her eyes widened. I was holding her book out to her. She extended a shaking hand and accepted the book. "Th-Thank you," she stuttered. I realised that her whole body was shaking. That's when it hit me, how difficult it was for her.

I treated her like scum, blinded by my own mind. She was doing her best to impress me yet I continued ignoring her. Today's incident must have been worse for her. I mean, being taken without consent... my mind cleared up.

I had to make it up to her.

"Come on, Y/N, let's continue with our research, shall we?" I asked her softly and she nodded, still avoiding my eyes. We walked to the library. After that, I treated her like the princess, the angel she was. I complimented her all the time, became friendlier with her.

She worked as diligently as ever. But now, there was happiness around her when she worked. And I, as always, loved watching her. I wanted to confess my feelings. By now, I didn't care about rejection. I just wanted to get the feelings out. "Sir?" Yet again, I snapped out of my thoughts.

"Yes, sweetheart?" I asked, smiling at her. "Have I got something on my face or are you lost in thoughts?" she chuckled, eyes shining with teasing affection. I admit, after seeing her break down and finally treating her nicely, Y/N and I grew closer. We talked outside work now and she had a lot of interesting things to tell me.

"You've got something on your face," I smiled, getting up. I sat in front of her on the floor; she loved sitting on floors for some reason. She said it was cold and she liked it. "What?" she frowned, touching her face. "Beauty," I whispered and she froze. She looked at me.

"Sir, I—"

"I'm just gonna say it, Y/N, I'm in love with you."

"Then why did you treat me like I was nothing?"

"Because I didn't want any distraction from my work. You were the biggest distraction ever, with a beauty like that."

"What do you mean?"

"I thought that maybe by treating you coldly the feelings would go away. But they grew. And now I realize, my work is actually the biggest distraction from you." She chuckled at my joke. I took her hand and pressed a kiss to it. "Please tell me you like me back, I won't be able to sleep at night," I whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She grinned and tittered.

"Of course I do, I love you so much, sir," she whispered and I finally, after months of pining, pressed my lips to hers. She kissed back. My hands moved to her waist and I brought her on my lap, leaning against the wall behind me as we kissed passionately.

"Tell me you're mine, no one else's."

"Of course I'm yours, sir."

"Gah, you have no idea what that word does to me."

She found out that night.

---

A/N: Oop. Leave a like if you liked it lol

#stephen strange x reader #stephen strange x you #stephen strange x y/n #stephen strange x female reader #stephen vincent strange #stephen strange fluff #doctor strange #benedict cumberbatch characters #disney #marvel #mcu #avengers #fanfic #writing #writeblr

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yeahlenas · 4 years ago

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yelena belova | best fanfic recommendation list

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

welcome to my masterlist of yelena (and natasha) centric fanfiction - there’s not too many out there, but i suspect the tag will explode after the movie finally comes out. but until then i thought i’d share with you the works i’ve found and that i enjoyed immensely!!

this list includes fics with yelena as the main character (not too many), and others where yelenat is the main pairing (romantically/platonically), or yelena is not the main character but still is important and featured.

hopefully this list will give you some new epic content and inspiration for your own works! (cause let’s be honest the internet needs more of these incredible characters)

my own works:

starting this off with some shameless selfpromo hehe ≧◡≦. i never really wrote fanfiction before the character of yelena came and gave me so much inspiration and motivation!!

if i had to perish twice (edge of tomorrow au)

status: completed 1/1 words: 19,549

a loooong and good one (unbiased) to get you started!! this is by far the longest piece of writing i’ve ever done and i’m super proud of it! this is an au of the movie edge of tomorrow, and yelena is the main protagonist. there is also implied stucky and a lot of the avengers show up throughout. yelenat is the main pairing! you don’t have to watch the movie to understand it (i hope), i’ve tried to explain it in the fic to the best of my ability! (that being said, watching the trailer helps and ofc the movie is the very best option, it’s on netflix!)

read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26082565

i tend not to weep

status: completed 1/1 words: 3,166

natasha and yelena’s cover is blown, and when they escape their plane is shot down - injured yelenat, hurt & comfort and angst.

read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27334447

i’ll be the actress (starring in your bad dreams)

status: completed 1/1 words: 2,610

two russian assassins walk into a bar. it doesn't go how either of them had planned.

a crossover with killing eve, in which yelena meets the mysterious character of villanelle during a mission.

read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29617044

you’ll have a good time with all of these amazing fics:

drip (that’s the sound of your ledger) | LOVE THIS ONE

“ There were whispers, after S.H.I.E.L.D.'s fall. They followed Natasha wherever she went, until she could ignore them no longer.

Welcome back to the Red Room.”

status: completed 13/13 words: 86,222 author: songofdefiance

THIS. this fic came out of nowhere and hit me until i was down (and then some more) with the pairing of nat and sharon which i didn’t know i needed!!! great twists, fun adventure, and yelena is giving me all the feels in this one. high re-readability!! the entire fic is incredible and 10000% worth your time - it is also the first in an incredible series, and yelena features more heavily as we go along. i wish i could read it for the first time again!!

read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4156134

part one of the this won’t end with a whimper series: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4156134

black widow: from brooklyn with love

“Rosa Diaz thought her past was dead and buried somewhere out in the Siberian tundra. But when Natasha Romanoff shows up at the 99 with a smile and a bundle of secrets, she knows she has no choice but to finish what Red Room started.”

status: completed 12/12 words: 37,573 author: wonderlander090

i love brooklyn99. i love yelena and natasha. the genius of wonderlander090 wrote a fic of everyone together and it’s SO MUCH FUN! features badass ladies, red room feels and overall epicness.

read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13387431

black widow

“After she released every piece of her secrecy to the world, Natasha Romanoff flees to get back her feeling of being a competent spy. Unfortunately, her old enemies have resurfaced, and have plans that force Natasha to meet old partners and old horrors. “

completed 17/17 words: 58,155 author: clarkesjade

the author’s wonderful take on the black widow movie. personal stakes, dark enemies and espionage with the great trio of nat, yelena and bucky against the world.

read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17284406

taipei

“Yelena is nowhere to be seen, and considering the circumstances, Natalia knows far better than to presume that means she made it out.”

status: completed 1/1 words: 1,518 author: novoaa1 (@ultralightdumbass)

yelenat banter, the best banter there is!! in which yelena and natasha’s paths crosses on a mission.

read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24994090

part of the chance encounter series: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809355

remember when we used to play?

“Natalia loves Yelena as fire loves innocence. It destroys and ruins and is doomed.”

status: completed 1/1 words: 2,315 author: hellotomyoldheart (@hellotomyoldheart)

a couple thousand words to step on my heart a couple thousand times :)) a yelenat with red room feels, and just a shit ton of feels in general lol help

read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21664936

youth (makes fools of us all)

“In 1994, a young Widow is assigned an important mission playing the wife of the Red Guardian. In 1994, two students are selected to accompany them.In 1994, against all machinations of the Red Room, a family is made.“

status: completed 1/1 words: 4,871 author: sanctuaria (@aleksandrachaev)

no words for this beautiful piece!! with the release of the new trailer something like this is canon now, and the entire idea of pretending to be a family and then natasha and yelena becoming one in their hearts is just OWWW, run me over instead, it’d hurt less

read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23954776

what a wicked game to play (to make me feel this way)

“after you win the games, you lose.” hunger games au.

status: complete 1/1 words: 60,545 author: taylorswift (not THAT ts haha (at least i dont think so??))

this is a clintasha au, so don’t expect tooo much yelena. i love the relationship between yelena and nat in this one though, so here it is!!

read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24957505

you made it this far (just a little bit more)

“I'm dead, Yelena says, I killed myself in that room, Natasha didn't need to shoot me for that, and isn't sure it translates.”

status: completed 1/1 series 3/3 words: 35,939 author: notcaycepollard (@notcaycepollard)

yelena is the main character in part 3 of this time travel fix it series. feels a bit au because (obviously) a lot of things were changed and their lives end up being very different. very happy take on everything and if you want some good old serotonin and good times for our characters, this one is so good!!

read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27913387

part 3 of the a flame in two cupped hands series: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538677

the end (for now) (◕︵◕)

as you can see i get all my yelena fics from ao3, i think that site is just so wonderful and easy to navigate!! i’m updating the yelena tag often, and i’m constantly looking for new good fics to share - so if you’re interested, bookmark this/follow me for future updates! if you have any personal favorites from ao3 that i’ve missed, or from other sites, do not hesitate to share them with me so i can update the list!!

(also i tried to tag the authors i could find on tumblr but idk if it worked?)

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sapphic-luthor · 3 years ago

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fic writer review!

thank you for tagging me @hrwinter !

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

twelve which really doesn’t feel like enough because i have at least twice that many in progress in my google docs woops

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

65,278 hahahaha

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

mmmm i think two ... point five. ish. there were some rough attempts when i was quite young but i didn’t get anything readable up until one or two for orphan black-- all of my actual work that i’m proud of is here in supergirl.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

a six-day exercise in denial

lip drawn constellations and pen marked kisses

accidental kisses and ill-timed visits from the deo

kryptonian tradition, or something like it

musings from 504

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

very very rarely, and mostly that’s just because i never really know a way to provide a meaningful response that doesn't just boil down to “thank you!!!”

and tbh i feel weird about this all the time because receiving comments makes me smile like an idiot at my phone and i go all squiggly and happy and excited so i probably really should be answering them but i just . i never know what to say that doesn’t look very impersonal!

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending

in which a half-confession breaks them both by a mile

7. Do you write crossovers?

nope

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

nope!

9. Do you write smut?

god yeah but a lot of it never makes it to the publish stage and i should really change that because sex is what gets all the hits lads

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not an entire fic, no, but i’ve had some scenes and paragraphs taken and hidden behind very thinly veiled reworks

11. Ever had a fic translated?

yes! a lovely person called R_H_Felidae_Athena actually translated a bunch of my little minifics into Mandarin which i think is the loveliest thing in the world

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

i haven’t! i’m not sure i’d be any good at it because i’m shit at deadlines and i also have very very little structure to my writing process and it’s a lot of “idk it just feels this way in my head” lmao

13. All time fav ship?

every ship feels like your all time fav ship when you’re in it doesn’t it? so right now absolutely supercorp-- i’ll admit i’ve put more time and work into this ship than others but i’ve had some that really really touched me and that i’ve put a lot of my heart into in the past

14. WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

ah jesus i have so many. almost two years ago i started writing an au (based on one throwaway line in s5) where kara and lena meet because lena’s running through national city and has a security team following her at a distance and kara thinks she sees a woman being followed followed and steps in and beats the hell out of the security team and lena can’t stop laughing hard enough to tell her they’re hired and then kara takes her to lunch as an apology

15. Writing strengths?

girl honestly i don’t even know i’m winging it every single time

16. Writing weaknesses?

fucking TENSES. i tend to swap between them here and there and then it confuses the focus or the intimacy of the scene and sometimes it’s very difficult to tell how far of a lens the reader is supposed to be watching through and it’s just gggaghhhhhlgjddj one day i’ll learn to write in past tense i swear

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

i’ve not really found myself needing that very much but if i did run across a scenario where it was unavoidable i’d probably try to find a native speaker before i wrote anything of substance so as not to be deeply embarrassing lol

18. First fandom you wrote for?

does the teen titans script i handwrote in a notebook when i was 9 count

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

i have a soft spot for this one because i wrote it all in one manic go and it just poured out of me in a way that worked so well on the first try and it got really nice reception and it’s by far one of my proudest even though it’s but a short little thing :’)

tagging @itllsetyoufree @contagiousiridescence @littlemousejelly @gaydisasterdanvers

#thank u !!!!#this was sweet and it feels good to talk about yourself sometimes #if i tagged you : highly recommend #mine

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the-golden-ghost · 3 years ago

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fic writer meme

Tagged by the esteemed and lovely @eldritch-elrics

Tagging: @3wisellamas, @seagoing-nerd, @gallifreytreeflower, @bookshop-cryptid, @skeleton-richard, @oceans-foundfamily , @chimicalbomb, and anyone else who wants to do it!

How many works do you have on AO3?

19 I think? It says 18 but one is still under ~anonymity~ until Friday and once it gets released it’ll be on there. It’s readable, it just doesn’t show up under my name yet.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

78,592 babey.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I’ve written for 6, but 2 of them are pretty much the same thing (TKLUTS/The Mysterious Island, and Richard III/Henry VI, Part 3)

The others are Lupin III and Undertale.

My Lupin fics are probably the most consistently popular. The TKLUTS fics are the vast majority (11/19!!) the Shakespeare fics were both written for ficathons based on Shakespeare’s histories, they did well for what they are, but they’re pretty different than most of my other fics. (I also have a ton of non-archived fics on my Shakespeare blog; mostly for Twelfth Night. Maybe someday I’ll polish those bad boys up.) The Undertale fic was purely a study in “can I even write for this fandom?!” the answer was a resounding no lmao

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Terrible Conflict (169 kudos) which was a collaborative fic about Nemo and Ned engaging in a sexual relationship. It’s unfinished but the parts that are up are about their tangled and messy feelings towards each other and it’s a good time

Measuring the Depths (73 kudos) it’s a cute fluffy fic about Pierre Aronnax and Captain Nemo flirting with each other. I think they take a nap together at some point idk I haven’t read it in a while lol. It’s just sort of soft and sweet, not much to it really! I had a couple of good jokes in there if I remember right.

Night’s Passage (60 kudos) this is literally the same thing as Measuring the Depths. Exactly the same, just shorter, and not as good. I’m not a one-trick pony, but people like what they like!

Hold Out Til Morning (54 kudos) This is a weird and angsty fic about Goemon getting shot and Jigen trying to keep him alive until help comes. I was actually surprised this one ended up getting so popular.

Off the Record (43 kudos) the Jigen/Zenigata fic I said I was going to write as a joke and boy did it end up delivering lol

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes, I try to respond to all of them! I just feel like it’s polite. The only times I won’t are when I can’t think of anything to say or if I feel like the conversation has reached a natural end (or occasionally I just forget ^^; )

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Gonna have to say Discordance for this one, which used to be a favorite of mine but has fallen out of favor with me (pretty much for this exact reason). I mean I love to write angst but I feel like an angsty plot needs a lighter ending, and this one doesn’t have one so it’s just Emo For Emo’s Sake. Not good.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Unless you count the TKLUTS/Mysterious Island fic which isn’t really a crossover since the two were pseudo-sequels anyway, no.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really, at least not full-on hate, but I’ve gotten a couple backhanded compliments.

One was “I hate this character but the fic is good! :) “ Which... I know they probably meant that my writing was SO good it made them be able to stand the character, but... I dunno, the concept of them just hate-reading my fic kinda put me off. You do you, man, but don’t tell me about it.

The other was kinda like “that’s an interesting narrative choice considering [x that happened in canon]” which seemed like they were asserting that I didn’t know the source material or made a mistake. They may not have meant it that way but it came off kinda rude.

Do you write smut? if so what kind?

If smut means like a full-on porn fic then I’ve written one and I don’t think I did very well so I don’t intend to write any more.

If it just means a fic with sexual content then yes, I do write that. I don’t know what “kinds” there are lol. Just... your standard... lovemaking... scene?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so. I’m not sure anyone would steal my fics anyway, they garner ~100 hits on average so if you’re stealing for the sake of popularity or fame mine aren’t the ones to swipe lol

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I did have someone ask if they could translate a fic into Chinese and I said yes but I don’t think they ever actually did it. ^^;

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep! A Terrible Conflict, referenced above. I really need to do more collabs, they’re good fun.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don’t know if I have an “all time favorite” as my tastes tend to change and grow. I’m pretty big on Nemo x Pierre from TKLUTS and have been for a while, and also am Vibing hardcore with the OT4(5?)/Polygang from Lupin III.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

There’s the ever-popular TKLUTS Sequel Thing which is a whole 3 years into construction and going completely nowhere...

The JiGoe Thing (unremarked on) which I may just hack to bits so it’s short and palatable and I can actually finish it...

And the Other ZeniJi Thing (which has rapidly devolved into a hellscape of the most bizarre circumstances and nonsense. I HOPE I can finish this. It’s funny as shit until the ending. But dear lord.)

There’s like 3 others but they’re just ideas and not WIPs. Yet.

What are your writing strengths?

Apparently I can Set A Scene with the best of them

What are your writing weaknesses?

Voice. I absolutely cannot get characters to sound like themselves. They always sound the same, which is the same voice as the narration, which is to say - my own voice.

I’m also not that great at plot, use too much Purple Prose where it’s unwarranted, tend to go ham on the weird metaphors in a corny way, don’t do enough research... You Name It, I’ve Committed It

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I can’t really do this due to being monolingual. When other people do it? It’s fine, although if the whole fic is in two languages I won’t be able to read it of course. But they can do what they want; I’m obviously not the audience for it.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It was Adventure Time but I learned early on that I am NOT the writer to be working in Adventure Time, dear god. I just couldn’t get it right.

The first I ever successfully wrote for was Twelfth Night.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

After the Nautilus. NO contest, I LOVE that bad boy. I think if someone asked for a single fic that’s indicative of me and how I write, that’s the one I’d show them.

#about the me #ayyyy #thanks for the tag!

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woulddieforperrytheplatypus · 4 years ago

Note

My mind was plagued with thoughts of the episode where the kids think Perry laid an egg and the comic where Perry saves a baby platypus from Doof, and that got me thinking: what if Perry was actually a dad to a baby platypus? One possibility is that Perry wouldn't want his child to become an agent at such a young age and would rather have his kid decide if they want to do it when they're older, but I believe that either way, the young platypus would inherit Perry's anthropomorphism.

oh my god I’ve never even thought about Dad!Perry before 🥺 I thought his relationship with the Flynn-Fletcher kids was wholesome but that has some real potential to become the superior relationship

obligatory “read more” to save everyone who doesn’t care how I feel about Dad!Perry

Okay first I gotta ask how we think this would happen. Is it the egg from Perry Lays An Egg that hatches, except it really is a baby platypus and Perry ends up taking it in because no one else can? Or is it Perry taking one of Doof’s platybabies home? Or is it trans!Perry laying his own egg? Or Perry has sex with another platypus (that’s such a weird thought lmao) and somehow he becomes the sole guardian of the egg? As the numero uno “Perry is an asexual demibiromantic platypus” stan, I kinda like the first or second one, but I also feel like the platybaby should be related to him? But at the same time Phineas and Ferb is all about how family don’t end in blood so maybe that’s not important?

Anyways onto Dad!Perry because holy shit I’m excited to explore this

I’m gonna start at the end of the ask by saying that I feel like anthropomorphism isn’t genetically inherited; I feel like it’s something that’s taught. It’s kinda a nature vs nurture type thing so I guess it’s more a psychological debate than anything, but if I had to channel my inner English teacher and draw evidence from “the text” (aka the show), I gotta bring up the koi from Attack of the 50 Foot Sister that were just kinda vibin in the neighbors’ pond at the beginning of the episode and then Monogram had to make them agents to avoid a lawsuit and by the end they were saving Perry’s ass? Which is relevant to literally nothing except that I think any baby animal Perry raises, regardless of whether or not they’re related to him by blood (or even by species), will probably turn the lil baby into an anthropomorphic lil platybaby just because of all the human and human-like influences

And now the elephant in the room (cue OWCA Files Agent E joke): how does OWCA react to the news? Which I guess is really a follow-up question to how OWCA finds out in the first place. I think we can all agree that Perry won’t want to tell them. It’s not like he sees the other agents as friends that he wants to invite to the baby shower. But Monogram would want to know if there’s a new player in the Flynn-Fletcher house not that he knows who lives there now; that’s Carl’s area of expertise. Would he have to tell them? Is there a protocol for that? Especially if it’s just an egg he picks up from The Tree™ in the backyard. That’s basically just getting a new pet, right? And sure, Monogram would want to know, but is Perry legally obligated to tell him is the question.

But Monogram has to find out one way or another, and given that Perry is the best of the best, Monogram is going to want his kid in the club. Perry would 100% say no, too, but I don’t know if it would be because he wants his son (yes it’s a boy platybaby no I don’t know why) to have his own say in his future; I think Perry would consider OWCA too dangerous for his son. I mean, we saw what happened when Phineas, Ferb, and Candace got mixed up in his job: they were almost eaten by a goozim and the tri-state area was almost taken over by an evil dictator. He would definitely want to keep his son out of that scene if he could. At least all the dangers at home are Phineas-and-Ferb-sponsored, and unlike OWCA, they would make sure he didn’t get hurt.

Buuuut Monogram is also a dumbass and doesn’t know how to take no for an answer, so he’d keep pushing. It has to be a well-known fact around OWCA that changing Agent P’s mind about anything is not an easy feat, so maybe when Monogram realized it was a lost cause, he’d try to go around Perry’s back? Maybe while Perry was at work, he’d head to the Flynn-Fletchers’ house (or send Carl again like Undercover Carl) to try to get the platybaby alone? He could explain what OWCA is and that he would make a perfect candidate. I doubt Perry would have told his son about OWCA in any detail yet other than the fact that he works there and that’s where he goes every day, so this would all be new and interesting. And then Perry either comes home when Monogram or Carl is talking to his son about OWCA or his son brings it up himself, and Perry is fuming because he made it very clear that he didn’t want OWCA anywhere near his family.

And now I can’t help but wonder if that would cause bigger problems between him and OWCA? What if that’s his breaking point, and he just flat-out quits because if they can’t respect his very few boundaries, he doesn’t owe them anything? And assuming the platybaby didn’t come from Doof, maybe that’s how they meet? Somehow he finds out that the reason there’s a new agent working his case is that Perry’s out on “permanent paternity leave” or something, and word gets back to Perry somehow (maybe Pinky heard it through the grapevine and told him? idk) that Doof wants to meet him? And Perry’s kinda wary buuuuut at the same time, Doof isn’t his nemesis anymore. If you take OWCA out of the equation, aren’t they just friends?

WAIT A SECOND

IMAGINE HOW NORM WOULD REACT TO SEEING A BABY PLATYPUS

I DON’T KNOW WHY

BUT NORM WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS BABY PLATYPUS

and Doof would get kinda annoyed because “He came here so I could meet the baby, you know,” and usually that’s enough to convince Norm that he’s doing something wrong, but this time Norm is just like, “But I love him?” And Doof expects Perry to back him up and he probably should but at the same time, his son looks so happy with Norm? Without OWCA’s training, he still has that platypus aspect to his personality that comes from both his animal instinct and how the Flynn-Fletchers treat him, so he’s just kinda snuggled up in Norm’s lap and Norm is just petting him?

And this is probably after he’s shown some human-like features and Doof knows that he’s about as human as Perry, so he asks, “Does he like being pet?” and Perry nods because duh of course he does and Doof just kinda looks at him for a moment and he’s like, “Do you like to be pet?” and Perry just fuckin decks him because no he does not yes he does and Doof just nods like, “Okay, fair enough.”

AND THEN VANESSA WALKS IN???

and she had absolutely no idea this was happening she’s about to go drop her stuff off in her room for the weekend and Norm’s like, “Look at my new friend!” and Vanessa thinks it’s gonna be something stupid but she walks over and sees the baby platypus and she starts freaking out because holy shit Perry is that yours? and obviously she needs to know literally everything there is to know about him because this is her nephew now and she will not take no for an answer.

And I feel like OWCA really wouldn’t like this? I mean, Perry completely severed ties with them over this platybaby, and now he’s bringing his son over to DEI at least twice a week to see his former nemesis? And idk what they would do about it because I don’t think there’s an actual protocol for this, but Monogram is Very Sensitive™ and he won’t stand for this.

Also and I’m totally just spit-balling here but what if, because the platybaby is kinda also being raised by the Doofenshmirtzes (and the Flynn-Fletchers but idk if that would make much of a difference here bc he has to pretend to be a mindless pet around them like his dad), he gets the best of the human and animal experience all in one, without all the shit Perry had to deal with from OWCA? And what if that somehow leads him to be able to speak? I don’t quite know how that would work, mostly because I don’t really know what prevents Perry from speaking, but we already went into that back in May so I’m not gonna go there again lol

okay I’m pretty sure it’s been over two hours since I started working on this ask but I can’t help it because this is literally such a cute idea fjdshflakfa I don’t even know if I’d be content reading this like I feel like this is just something I want to write. I kinda want to see how Phineas and Ferb would treat him, and if they’d treat Perry any differently now that a) he’s a dad and b) there’s a new platypus for them to love. I also want to see how Candace would handle probably falling in love with the platybaby but still getting annoyed by Perry. I really want to see what Vanessa and Norm’s relationship with the platybaby would turn into. Idk so much about the Doof/platybaby relationship though; I feel like I’d be more interested in how this affects the Doof/Perry dynamic instead. Something about Doof makes me think he wouldn’t be as easily swayed by the platybaby as everyone else, but the fact that Perry would now be a dad just like him would probably make him unreasonably happy. And that’s not even touching upon how different life would be for Perry now that he has a son, and he would obviously adore the little guy with his entire being, but, like, he has a son? How is he supposed to deal with that?

also I really should’ve given the platybaby a name to make this more readable and it’s a little too late for that but I hereby decree that his new temporary name until such time as this fic gets written is Horatio (unless y’all wanna hit me up with your platybaby name ideas because I would love to see them?) so welcome to the Dwampyverse, Horatio :,)

#not gonna lie i don't remember what Horatio was up to in Hamlet but I do remember that he was my favorite character in the play lol #look i have an ask #fic idea?#perry the platypus

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kithtaehyung · 3 years ago

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RYEN. BESTIE. YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP.

dropping 3tan5 literally out of thin air? when I tell you I did a full on double take when I saw the tag, I mean I literally almost thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. But idk, maybe we all collectively ✨ manifested ✨ it into existence 😌

I was going to do a full length review, but I don’t wanna bore you so I’m try keeping it short(ish) 👀.

I know none of us know Sir Min in real life (a true tragedy and I cry myself to sleep about it every night), but the way you write him feels so authentic and believable. You write him as a perfect balance of calm, cool, collected exterior and soft, gooey, warm interior.

OC as well, is such a relatable character. I can almost feel like she is really me, and like I am really in this story, whereas with a lot of other fanfic I don’t feel that way so I was definitely feeling them 🦋 as if this was happening to me irl.

I feel like, as a lot of others do as well, that Joonie is the big brother. Out of all the members, he def gives the most of an overprotective big brother vibe. If the big brother is NOT Joonie then no I didn’t say it was him what do you mean.

The domesticity in this chapter, the fluff, THE SMUT - all amazing, all on point, all left me wishing the chapter was like 4 times the length bc I never wanted it to end and I WILL be reading it again and again and again until the next part comes out (I am going to try ✨ manifest ✨ it to come out soon).

As for things I’d LIKE to see in the upcoming chapters - more Yoongi POV (even a whole entire full length chapter if you want hahaha jk unless 😏)! I agree w some of the other asks I’ve seen about a jealous/possessive!Yoongi but also jealous/possessive!OC bc he deserves to b fought for ig I just love him man idk :((( I want to see a lil bit of angst but I feel like there may be some upcoming esp w the whole Joji/JK tease (if OC even did hook up w JK, but I guess we’ll find out 🤭) and ofc brother will have to come back eventually and oh my god I imagine shit will pop OFF if/when he finds out. And then a nice passionate intense resolving of issues where they then ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after 🥺

wow remember when I said I was gonna keep this short(ish). HAHAHA MY B. but seriously. you’re so wonderfully talented and you deserve to be told that. thank you for doing what you do and I will be eagerly awaiting more. MUCH LOVE GORGEOUS ❤️❤️❤️

YALL AND YOONGI.... rly did manifest this lmfao smth came over me and i wrote 5k of it in one night so get it done !! but also WHAT you would never EVER bore me with reviews and/or commentary??? are you kidding me i EAT that shit up! seriously, so much of the fun is hearing what you all think fr. bc!!! i will scream with you!!!

i'm so happy you like this version of yoongi, too. it warms my heart! and reader being relatable is something i really, truly focus on so that is excellent that you do feel that way about her :'))) that made me smile omg. and of course the bro commentary LOL

the way i planned for "stay" to be the comfort chapter... i specifically made this one with both re-readability and comfort in mind !! so if it hits both of those boxes, i am satisfied😭 as for the length... i am so sorry but 4x bigger would've destroyed me AHAHA but i totally understand!

trust when i say those are all great things to want! we shall see if they end up making the 3tan cut omg. but AWHHH your ending paragraph got me feeling things😭 thank you so much! just appreciating the effort alone will make me cry lol stop making me so sOFT?? i will be back to working on this after resting my brain for a bit! thank you endlessly, beautiful!

#ARGH THANK YOUUU #i'm so serious #i love hearing any type of commentary #yall are all so nice #anon #asks:3tan #3tan5 #*ryenfictalk #mailbox💌#lovely people

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cassahina · 4 years ago

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Could I get a kin match up with Danganronpa, Demon Slayer and Saiki K.?

- I’m fun and one of the loudest people in my friend group, but outside of it my usual quiet. I’m not shy or anything, I just don’t have anything to say to them… actually I get kind of nervous when I speak to outside people because I’m scared I’ll go on a big talking spree.

- I guess going back to the talking spree, I love talking about my interest!! Not in a rude way or anything, I just need someone to talk about the shows I’m watching or about movies. It could be anything from character development and designs to movie lighting or how they built up one scene in an amazing way!

- I hate texting because I write at least two small paragraphs as a response. Why is this bad? Well I get anxious whenever people type back with one 3-4 words as a response to me because I think I weirded them out.

- I have a crying problem. Anything could set me off. I gotten better at holding it together, but it’s still nothing special. It’s been happening since I was young, at the time being the worst. I finally snapped in year 4 where I just didn’t give a bloody damn about anyone outside what I considered my friend group, that’s the year I remember I didn’t cry that much.

- Okay more lighter notes, I love to write and take lead in different situations (where I most need to, I don’t do it most of the time). I also love drawing!

- Idk if this is needed, but my type has always been brown hair/brown eyes idiot. But I have some exceptions.

- I really love swimming! I hate doing it competitively, but I don’t mind doing a couple laps. Fave is mix between backstroke, freestyle and butterfly. I can’t do breaststroke for the god damn life of me.

- I’m not mean in anyway, but because it’s common in my family I tend to say some things on accident that could someone’s feelings. But overall I’m known as a kind person. I get along with most people (boys and girls and other) and I’m considered a friend in each of those friend groups.

Ahh! Sorry if it’s a lot or to little! I wanted to make sure it’s at least readable.. heh. (Ah! I guess I could also say I say sorry a lot… like if I drop something I was carrying I would say sorry, but I’ve said sorry to some of my friends if they drop something that I was no where near.) Hopefully it’s alright!

-🌸

Sure thing 🌸 Anon! Sorry this took a bit, my birthday kept me busy and the 30th was my best friends birthday too so 😅. I hope you enjoy this though despite the wait! It was really fun to do for my first kin matchup on this blog, so thanks :))))

I match you with….

Aoi Asahina and Mahiru Koizumi from Danganronpa, Zenitsu from demon slayer, and Kaido from Saiki K., all for a kin matchup!

I chose Zenitsu and Kaido both for very similar reasons. They are both very nice, very dorky boys who give me the same warm, maybe a little anxious, but genuinely super sweet vibe that you are giving me. Both the boys here are more sensitive in their shows than other characters, and they cry a bit (Zenitsu especially), but they are really just very lovable. They are very loud and considerate with their friends, but aren’t the best when with meeting new people which I think fits how you are quiet around them. Kaido also reminds me a lot of you when it comes to rambling about interests with friends, not in a rude way at all though as it’s more so just excitement and wanting to share it with others. Both the guys here just genuinely have really big hearts and are very dorky and sensitive (in a good way btw, I mostly use this term in a positive connotation), which I personally love about them and seems like something you could relate too.

I chose Aoi not only for the fact that she is a swimmer, I swear lol. But that was part of it, her love for swimming, but you would be less competitive than her. However, Aoi is also very fitting to how you described yourself in the beginning, she is a very loud and fun person with her friends who loves to ramble about what she is interested in (whether it’s sports, doughnuts, Sakura etc.) she can also take the lead in certain situations, and would probably hate when people respond to texts with only 4ish words seeing how she would be like you and write paragraphs. She is also very much a people person and gets along with both boys and girls thanks to her kindness, which fits you :)

I chose Mahiru because although she is less extroverted than Aoi, she still is very kind and is always trying to be considerate of others. She also seems like the type to be fun and maybe a little bit loud with friends, but is quiet outside of them like you because she doesn’t have much to talk about with others. She would definitely ramble about photography and other arts as well! Moreover, she is the type who might not be the leader of the group, but she definitely steps in to lead at times. Also, seeing how she loves photography, it can be assumed that she appreciates the arts so she could very well be into drawing and writing as well. Out of all the people here, she is the most likely to also say something on accident that could hurt someone’s feelings, but it is never in a malicious way, more so it’s likely to be her trying to give them advice because she cares. Oh, and as for your type, everyone who I have seen so far who loves Mahiru either ships her with Hiyoko or Hajime, and Hajime almost fits your type perfectly minus his eyes so there is that as well :)

Honorary matchup with Mikan Tsukimi, who cries quite a bit but is genuinely such a sweetheart and is comfortable talking about things associated with her talent. :)

#cassierole the ultimate writing prodigy #matchup #kin matchup #kin matchups #demon slayer matchup #demon slayer #saiki k matchup #the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki no psi nan #danganronpa matchups #danganronpa

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tskshmk · 5 years ago

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Making out with Iwaizumi [headcanons] (gender neutral!reader)

request: none, I just feel bad for not posting on iwa’s bday haha. ALSO HE CALLS YOU PRINCESS IN THIS BUT TBH YOU COULD CALL ANYONE PRINCESS

content: fluff, a LITTLE nsfw but not full blown readable p*rn

I W A I Z U M I :

You guys have kissed before but it’s never transformed into anything heavy

Until one day you were missing him a lot :(

It was when he visited you the day after his week long training camp when you pounced

Idk if you guys have strict parents, i do but let’s say you don’t and you guys hang out in your bedroom to watch a bad soap opera that Oikawa recommended

Iwa smelled so GOOD like.... so freaking good

you couldn’t help snuggling into him because you could get lost in whatever the hell his cologne was

He kinda laughs at your sudden clinginess and makes fun of you for it

“You comfortable?” “Shut up.”

Of course he doesn’t mind! In fact he’s a little red so he’s glad you can’t see him hehe

Eventually the soap gets more boring than laughable, so you find yourself giving his jaw a kiss every now and then

You didn’t mean for it to become a suggestive act, but when you saw how red he was, you couldn’t help but teasing him LMAO

He would return the favor a few times by kissing your forehead, but you REALLY wanted something a little more intimate

You swung your leg over his in order to sit on his lap

For a few seconds you just looked at him and got ALL EMBARASSED A A AAAAAA

He really is just THAT handsome. He holds THAT power

He has to tap on your hips to get you to come back to reality

“Uh, y/n?” “Yeah?” “What are you doing?”

Im sorry he rly would say that VEJSBDJD

Then you just kinda hold his jaw and kiss him!

Obviously returns it, and he LOVES having his hands on the small of your back

Your hands find themselves tugging at his hair and he moans really softly

He ends up pulling you closer and running his hands all over your thighs, squeezing them and shit a a a a AA you sigh into his lips

idc idc idc Iwaizumi is DEFINITELY EXPERIENCED so he takes it as an opportunity to bite your lip and slightly pull away to look into your eyes

He relishes in the sight of you flushed. LIVES for it, actually

“I missed you, Hajime,” “I know, Princess.”

He doesn’t even have to say it back. You can tell by the way he’s literally making out with you right now

He’ll prefer it if he’s hovering over you so he flips you over and softly kiss your neck

If you whimper at it, this man will be horny. I’m so sorry not really lol

He’s overall very much into being in control during this, so I hope you like being ravished a LOT

After that he’ll find more excuses to be alone with you, ESPECIALLY at school ugh

The king of picking you up and pinning you against a wall

AND DONT YALL SAY HE WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO PICK YOU UP BECAUSE HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE ARMS? MY RELIGION

You guys will do it behind the gym, in the storage closet, even in an empty classroom whenever you two have cleaning duty

If you guys are in public like that he’ll never have it become sex. He doesn’t want to risk getting caught nor does he want anyone else to see you in all your glory like he does

if you call him, “Hajime” ..... INSTANT HORNY

One time the 3rd years caught you guys behind the gym and it was SO O O EMBARRASSING AHHAJAH

Iwa didn’t really care, but he sent them the finger every time they brought it up

overall making out with Hajime is a 1000/10

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime #hajime iwaizumi #iwaizumi hajime x reader #hajime iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi #iwa-chan #iwa chan

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ectogeo-rebubbles · 4 years ago

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Writer tag game!

Repost and tell me how you draft as you write. Do you write in order? Do you start with something particular? How fully formed does your writing come out the first try? How many drafts do you go through? Tell me about your process because I’m curious!

Thanks for starting this tag game and being interested in my writing process, @cemetrygatess !

When I have an idea for a new fic, if it’s longer than a one-shot I will try to outline it to see if I can turn it into an interesting fic. When I outline, sometimes it’s just vague notes of things that happen or get said, with individual ideas separated by semi-colons... Why do I use semi-colons??? Who knows! I end up with a block of text that consists of a stream of consciousness separated by semi-colons, so it is a whole Process to then parse that out and turn fragments into sentences or paragraphs, or like... still an outline but in a form that would be readable by another human being haha.

I DO NOT write in order! I write the scenes or parts of scenes that are clearest in my mind, or that interest me the most, and then I end up with lots of little snippets that do not fit together, so there’s a lot of rearranging and thinking about how to fill in gaps. Sometimes I do get very lucky and a whole scene just flows out of me all at once, and then I just have to refine it, but that is not the norm, lol

I feel like I am most successful when I let my writing be reallll sloppy in the first draft and fix it up later after it’s mostly drafted. Just turn off the ol’ inner editor and let the garbage flow freely, and insert “[something happens idk]” types of notes the instant I get stuck so I can just keep going. Sometimes, if I’m feeling spicy, I’m even like HMMM my overzealous perfectionist of an inner editor whom I have struggled against all my life would absolutely HATE this, therefore I SIMPLY MUST DO IT, and that almost always turns out to be the correct choice that makes the fic more interesting and fun to write haha

I am not sure how many drafts I go through... Probably usually two drafts?? What I’d consider a first draft is something that is like 95% complete (with a few unresolved gaps that I will fill in later at the last second). But individual parts of a fic will def get revised more than twice usually. I have been extremely fortunate lately to get to work with @delicatetrashstranger, who sometimes beta reads my fics multiple times (sometimes starting with my messiest sketchiest unfinished outlines/pre-first-drafts) and somehow MAGICALLY gives me exactly the feedback i need at all different stages of the writing process.

I’m tagging @delicatetrashstranger, @asgardian--angels, @macneiceisms, @mustangsjoeka, @pyrrhic-victory1, @autisticandroids, and @ao3sburbanite, but no pressure to talk about your writing process even if I tagged you, and also anyone who wants to can do this even if I didn’t tag you! Tag me back if you do it, though, because I’d love to learn more about your writing process!!!

#tag game #writer tag game #about me #my writing

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rigelmejo · 4 years ago

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7/23/2021 Reading Progress - Almost 2 Years

I know I posted a little about reading progress a few days ago, but it’s really just exciting to me! And really really motivating!

These past few days, I’ve been reading one of my favorite fanfic writers. I started intensively reading, and now I can get by reading faster (which for me is only 140 characters a minute ToT so still quite slow but hey its something) and just looking an ACTUAL only 4-5 new words per chapter (which is 4000-5000 characters). Just the fact I am ACTUALLY 98% comprehending chinese reading material. And material I actually want to be reading. Goal reading material! Because like?

Even when I was extensively reading before, I was reading stuff that was ‘hard’ to read extensively (enough that I’d need to think and use any clues from context to guess what’s going on for certain key words and phrases I didn’t know but needed, and there were enough of those that I needed to focus a lot). This is really like the first extensive reading I’ve been able to do where I can actually just relax and speed read the extensive reading if I want to. Where it feels more like reading Lord of the Rings fast, or Dracula (some vocab I don’t know or weird phrasings for me but its fine to get through until I get used to it) - or some stuff easier now like reading Good Omens (where its an easy read where I get comfortable fast). Where it feels much more like reading english, just slower (and with less context hints for new words lol - since english I can sound out and guess if I heard it before and already know all the ‘word stem’ hints of meaning). Now, because of there being less ‘context stuff’ i can rely on compared to english, i do plan to keep using a digital dictionary to read sometimes (especially because it is the FASTEST way for me personally to reinforce new hanzi pronunciations).

Like. This past week I’ve been following the Silent Reading audiobook along with the novel, and also just reading the Chinese novel. And also just reading some new stuff by one of my favorite fanfic authors. And I’ve been able to. The fanfic story is a bit easier, so I suppose I can read it with no prior context! (That’s what I looked up about 5 new words for - chairman, deputy were the keywords I needed then most of the rest made sense from context lol). And Silent Reading I read in english but like years ago, so many paragraphs felt new to me but they were fine to read except a few description-dense sections where something economic-related was being said (along with some 4-character phrases I wasn’t sure of). I knew lately I’ve been able to read new Guardian chapters while following along with the audiobook without the english translation, if I don’t want to know every single word but just follow the plot/most of it, so its been really cool seeing this week that I can do it with Silent Reading too!

I’m fairly sure my level of comprehension is like this: the more murder mystery, investigative/detectives, more contemporary, more supernatural, more romantic, more daily life - the more I will comprehend it.

Those seem to be my more ‘comfortable domains’ vocabulary wise. Specifically mystery/supernatural/contemporary (since most anything I watch or read is in usually at least one of these genres partly). When I get into xianxia, the farther it is from the very joking/basic SVSSS xianxia vocab the less I can comprehend. I did read 28 chapters of Tian Ya Ke before so maybe some of that will help with reading wuxia genre, but I’d argue it was months ago and tyk doesn’t really go very deep into using wuxia genre words compared to some novels. So basically my xianxia and wuxia vocab is very basic main-plot words like you’d hear in show scripts, but not necessarily enough to follow the details of novels - I do think I know enough to follow the overall main plot though. Happily, Tian Ya Ke and Qi Ye are on my reading list in the future, so they may both help more with political/court and wuxia genre words so that those genres get more comprehensible for me.

I’m really excited about the tyk and qy reads now, since I planned to read them extensively while glancing at the english translation for help if I didn’t understand. And since I’m starting to be able to extensively read some of priest okay, then doing that with a novel while using the translation so its like a bilingual-resource to reference making things easier, should not be as hard/intensive as it might have been a few months ago.

This is just. For me a very big milestone. I’m at a point where some of my goal reading is something I can extensively read without too much pain, and have enough hanzi-knowledge to guess some new words and phrases from context a decent amount of the time.

Summary: it’ll be 2 years in a month. And I’m officially at a point where some of the goal novels are able to be extensively read, genuinely, and some of the ‘goal other stuff’ is extensively readable now (some fanfics, some easier bl novels, etc). Past me would be really excited. ToT

I plan to: keep reading intensively and extensively (with an emphasis on reading through a lot more characters/words), keep doing L-R Method and listening-only during day (keep working on improving listening). And occasionally shadowing now/repeated listening/practicing speaking. In the long term: I’d like to read my grammar guide and practice writing/speaking from what I learn.

That plan has worked really well the past few months

Related: my japanese reading skill! Because weirdly enough its been seeing improvements too!

So, I already realized me knowing more hanzi definitely helps me ‘guess more japanese words’ from context. Because: 1. its like english-french, while some are false cognates with nothing actually in common I can sometimes figure that out from the fact the scene is ‘wrong’ for the word I would’ve guessed, and I do know the word endings in japanese so that helps guess if its noun/adjective/verb, and I do know around 2000 common japanese words specifically so that also helps me notice what’s not actually similar in meaning. 2. so i’ve got this basic framework to guess stuff from context: 2000 japanese words I do know, some basic grammar recognition, ~2000 hanzi I do know and then however many chinese words I know, rough recognition of some of the katakana words, and then I usually try to read something I have prior context for so I’ve either read/played in english or know the overall plot main points in english. Apparently all of this helps a lot.

Now its not putting me on anything near 98% comprehension lol (except maybe KH2 since I know that story so well I really do figure out a lot but its more like idk 90% and me just very good at telling ‘unknown part’ was ‘probably X’ but not actually able to be sure, so i can follow fully but i’m not able to learn from a certain amount just cause i can’t be sure its not perhaps actually-something-else more nuanced). But whatever comprehension it puts me at, its enough to follow the main plot (better than I could ever do before with japanese lol with anything more than... well anything... i couldn’t follow even simple manga main overall plot unless i had a dictionary at year 2.5... so now the fact i can generally follow main plot of games, and catch a decent amount of details - not a majority but still regularly noticing some details, all without a dictionary, is pretty cool to me).

Lately I’ve been watching some REALLY old Shin Megami Tensei and related game lets plays in japanese, with the player reading aloud (so hopefully I learn some actual word pronounciations my biggest weak point). Because I understand enough right now that I can pick up a lot more just by continuing to watch. Like, playing KH2 I could pick up the ‘reading’ of some new stuff and grammar. But with a voiced lets play, I can also try to pick up those new words and maybe if I’m lucky how the more common ones are pronounced as they’re said again and again. I figure I can probably learn a lot more words this way, and continue getting used to the grammar, for a while before I see less frequent payoff. For now, I’m seeing constant easy payoff from doing it. I’ve got a lot of grammar I’ve read details on but not seen regularly enough to get used to, so that all gets reinforced and learned better. And I’ve got a lot of hanzi I know, and doing this helps me start learning the similar-cognate kanji and words writing/pronunciation, the slightly different ones and their rougher meaning along with writing/pronunciation, to be aware which ones are totally different (tho depending on scene context i may or may not learn these words at least i’ll know they’re not the same).

My point is: now engaging with japanese is a lot more relaxing and enjoyable. (I realize lol a few months ago playing in japanese or watching a lets play was doable but exhausting, so perhaps i am getting more used to it or actually have learned a little lol). In the sense that, now it feels a lot more like ‘reading french when i started learning’ - i feel like i have a LOT more scaffolding to lean on and help me when i’m struggling, whereas i know the first 2.5 years i studied japanese i felt drowning since nothing was familiar - not the grammar, not the words, not the sound, not the lack of word-spaces, etc. Now it feels like there’s a lot more i have ‘some prior experience’ with (from grammar being restudied over and over now lol and i still need much more lol, to onyomi kanji pronunciations now being my favorite lol and kanji my favorite part of reading), so when i’m diving into japanese instead of drowning i have some floaties to grab onto usually (unless i go outside of the domains i’m used to).

By domains i mean - if I try listening-only i still drown (since then i only have grammar and 2000 japanese words i’m still rusty on listening to), if i do listening-watching without subs i have fewer floaties to grab (i have my 2000 learned words but am super rusty on hearing them especially without kanji to see for reference), obviously if its an old or technical text i will drown (im used to modern japanese, and very specifically daily life or supernatural/light-fantasy video game stories). So like... nier, kh2, crisis core, persona games, smt games, are much more in my comfort level of following a plot (again with subs, because without subs it HAS to be something i know the english well for if i’m going to follow much besides simple daily life parts since i’ll need the visual context and prior context to guess what’s going on just in general - not understanding those parts of the japanese).

Long story short, its been super fun for me lately engaging with japanese. Japanese is NOT even in my ‘realistic’ study plan right now lol!

But this month I still: read a chapter of japanese translation of Guardian, played 4 hours KH2, read the opening scenes of the script of FFX (fyi: in Idiom app they made HUGE improvements I can now play the audio line by line and repeat-automatically as much as i want AND the definitions now come from much better dictionaries), watched 40 minutes of SMT game lets plays (both with and without audio - though since my pronunciation info literally doesn't exist for so many words I decided adding audio as often as possible would be better).

My ultimate goal for japanese was to be able to play the games I like in japanese, and follow them before localization changes. I’m not picking up the level of info necessary to be fully satisfied with how much I’m noticing. But I do follow enough now that I’m able to start practicing/studying japanese BY playing the games I want or engaging with them in lets plays/scripts etc. And its very motivating to know I’m far enough into this goal to be studying by doing (at least for now, if it stops paying off as much I’ll likely need to approach it from new angles for a while). But like? I can taste it! I’m starting to do what I want, not as well as I want but I am starting to be able to do those things. And that’s really exciting.

Side notes: I still personally want to continue reading my grammar guides until I've finished them (japanese in 30 hours, tae kim, sakubi), and keep going through clozemaster. Both of these were helping, do help, and ensure I’m building the weaknesses (grammar i just need SO much more help with for japanese, and clozemaster gives me actual word definitions and pronunciation and lets me practice listening skills and grammar in context which are ALL weak points for me). So that’s the overall japanese goal for a long while (yes i might also finish Nukemarine’s memrise decks if i ever feel up for flashcards again lol).

In the LONG long term, i would probably want to move onto my other japanese study books i own while continuing to go through clozemaster - i have two reading-japanese books i think would help a ton especially if i want to speed up reading speed and/or read novels more, a sentence pattern book that for me personally would help with reinforcing and getting comfortable with grammar and common words (particularly for long term active use). I also have a kanji remembering book i probably could go through - although by then idk how many kanji i’ll remember the pronunciations and meanings for by then.

#study plan #july study plan #july progress #july #reading #reading progress

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