#idk i am once again feeling like a mistake has been made but like all i can do is make the best of it

[squidcreature]

made a massive life change of moving back in with my parents, something i very much did not want to do but felt i had no other choice, and now that i'm here i'm definitely having a breakdown about it haha

[ellecdc]

okay so I just wanted to start by saying I love you're moonwater stories so much.

Ive been thinking about this like paring ig for a bit and your recent moonwater story when r gets home from girls night just made me think of it more so if you're interested id love for you to do it.

Basically its like poly moonwater plus Barty ive been calling it moonwaterkiller in my head (idk if its already a ship or already has a name but I haven't been able to find anything) but basically I feel like r and Barty would be like a chaotic duo and reg and rem would just be like wtf a lot idk... I just think it has some potential and I just love your writing so fucking much.

(I also just love how you write Barty)

so if you're interested I think it would be cool

much love :)

I love the way your mind works babes. thanks for your request! (it's almost two am where I am so please forgive any awkward sentences or spelling mistakes). also, if I didn't completely lose everyone with my DeathStar fics - this may very well do it. && this was written with the help of our fabulous @unstablereader

poly!moonwater x chaotic fem!reader + Barty Crouch Junior

Regulus didn’t know whether to be concerned or slightly aroused at the slightly deranged way that Remus was stalking the halls in search of you and Barty. 

You and Regulus had both at one point or another been in a friends-with-benefits situation with Barty (albeit separately) during your time in school, before you and Regulus went and fell in love with a Gryffindor. 

Regulus still wasn’t quite over the humiliation; both of falling in love and falling in love with a Gryffindor.

Of course, you and Regulus both stayed friends with Barty; Regulus mostly because he couldn’t shake him (ignoring the fact that Regulus really was quite fond of his maniacal friend), and you because the two of you really were sort of two sides of the same hyperactive galleon. 

And though Remus (and sometimes Regulus) liked to pretend that yours and Barty’s friendship caused them grief, they couldn’t deny how much they valued Barty’s loyalty and devotion to his friends; specifically you. 

Regulus’ new favourite thing was easily Remus’ new found appreciation for Barty. 

Up until this point, Barty had been his notoriously flirty and salacious self when it came to the likes of Remus, who wasn’t yet accustomed to Barty’s unique…personality.

However, once Remus realised the history between his two partners and the other Slytherin boy, he quickly came to appreciate the kind of pull Barty could have on people.

So, Remus had started flirting back.

Barty hated it.

Regulus loved it.

You started keeping track of the number of times Remus reduced Barty to a blushing and stuttering mess in your notebook. 

Barty hated that too.

It was nearing curfew and Remus and Regulus hadn’t seen you all afternoon. 

Usually that was fine, considering you were a bit of a free spirit. What was concerning, however, was that they hadn’t seen Barty either.

Regulus watched as Remus checked the stupid map that his brother and their friends had created when his brows furrowed in confusion.

“What? Don’t tell me they’re in the middle of the Black Lake again?” Regulus asked quickly, moving to stand over Remus’ shoulder to peer at the map.

“Again?”

“Don’t ask.” Regulus muttered.

“But…doesn’t Barty not know how to swim?”

“I said don’t ask.”

Seeming to know better, Remus turned back and pointed towards the Ravenclaw common room on the map. “It says they’re up in Ravenclaw tower?”

“For fuck’s sake.” Regulus muttered, dragging a hand over his face.

“How’d two Slytherin’s manage to get into Ravenclaw tower?” Remus asked bemusedly, earning him an unimpressed glare from Regulus. 

“Remus, I love you, but that was perhaps the dumbest question you’ve ever asked me.”

Remus rolled his eyes as he closed the map and tucked it back into his trunk.

“Come on, we might be able to catch up to Pandora on her way up and have her help us in.” 

They had indeed caught up to Pandora, and Pandora had indeed helped them in, though it seemed to be for naught. 

“I thought your stupid map said they were here.” Regulus muttered as he surveyed the common room, unable to spot a single lick of green and silver.

“It’s not stupid and they are in here.” Remus muttered back, moving to stand in the dead centre of the room. 

“How do you know they’re here if you can’t see them?”

Remus glared at Regulus before looking around to ensure no one could hear them. “I can smell them.” He whispered.

Well Regulus just didn’t know what good these wolfy senses were if they were still out two Slytherin’s. 

“Shit.” Regulus heard whispered suddenly as a quill fell from the air and landed beside his foot.

Remus and Regulus both looked up to see you and Barty casually lounging in the chandelier above them.

“Are you sodding kidding me!?” Regulus shouted.

“I think our cover’s been blown.” You said simply to Barty as if you didn’t have two fuming and fretting boyfriends standing nearly forty feet give or take below you.

“Pity.” Barty responded as he peered down. “This was a nice refuge.”

“How’d you even get up there?” Remus cried, pacing like he was getting ready to catch you should you fall.

“Magic.” Barty taunted from above.

“Junior, so help me gods if that witch falls I-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lupin. I resent the insinuation that I would ever let anything happen to our sweet angel baby.” Barty bit back immediately.

“Okay, okay. Fair enough.” Remus acquiesced as if he were negotiating a hostage situation. “Why don’t you both just come down here, nice and slow, okay?”

Both you and Barty leaned forward to look down at the two boys, causing the chandelier to swing precariously.

“Fucking hells! Stop moving!” Remus shrieked, causing the attention of the few Ravenclaws sitting in the common room to look over.

“Such a worrier.” Barty muttered as he stood and started manoeuvring himself to the edge of the chandelier - you following him over and causing the chandelier to tip to a nearly 90 degree angle. 

“I’m going to be sick, I’m actually going to throw up right here.” Regulus muttered mostly to himself whilst Remus tried to stand directly underneath you lest you need to be caught. 

To Remus and Regulus’ absolute horror, Barty launched himself away from the chandelier, grabbing at the billowy banners hanging from the ceiling causing the chandelier to swing away from him like a pendulum. 

“JUNIOR!” Remus shouted, causing Barty to momentarily look shamefaced as he looked below him. 

As the chandelier swung towards the opposite wall, you too launched yourself at one of the billowy banners hanging from the ceiling and began monkey climbing down them.

“Can you make sure she doesn’t fall, please.” Remus barked at Regulus as he made his way towards Barty.

Barty let out a high pitched screech and began hastily making his way down the wall. “Run Treasure! Save yourself!” He shouted dramatically.

You turned quickly at that and saw Regulus making his way to you.

You let out a surprised squeak and hurried down, and before Regulus realised what you were doing, you had used your wand to open one of the windows and were shimmying out.

“Oi! What the-” but before Regulus could even shove his torso out the window, you’d managed to shift into your animagus form - a mink, which Regulus felt was very fitting considering what a sodding cheeky minx you were being right now - and began scaling your way down the side of the building.

Regulus was interrupted by the sound of a squeal - Remus’ squeal - and turned to see Remus hanging halfway out of the window in much the same fashion that Regulus had been.

Unlike Regulus, however, Remus had been successful in his capture of Barty and had him hanging from the tallest tower at Hogwarts by one of his arms.

“Junior! Are you trying to sodding kill me!?” Remus barked angrily at him, trying to pull Barty up without any help from Barty himself.

Barty looked up at Remus with all the innocence he could muster (read: none) and winked. 

“Catch me if you can, Mr. Wolf.”

And Barty shrunk into his own animagus form - an osprey - and let out a cry before swooping down to pick up something that looked suspiciously like a mink from the eaves of one of the lower towers and took off towards the grounds. 

“Fucking son of a bitch.” Remus cursed as he tried catching his breath, still sitting half out of the Ravenclaw window. “Why do we put up with those two?”

Regulus shrugged with all the nonchalance he could muster. “‘Cause they’re cute?”

Remus sighed and hit his head against the windowsill. “They’re so sodding lucky that they are…”

“Come on.” Regulus said, offering Remus a hand and helping him out of the window. “Unfortunately, I know exactly where they went.”

Barty loved nothing more than the feeling of his feet sinking into the sediment of the Black Lake below his feet. He also loved the feeling of being near you, his Treasure. He also loved the idea of two handsome men frantically searching for you, and him by proxy.

All this to say, Barty was having a really nice night.

“Junior!”

Barty’s face morphed into a Cheshire cat grin as he turned towards the voice of the man and his boyfriend as they stormed towards the waters edge.

“Well hello, Lupin. How nice of you to join us; care for a dip?”

“Get out of the water.” Regulus drawled in a bored tone.

“Why would I do such a thing? The water’s lovely, I’m in wonderful company, and we’re going to feed the Giant Squid.” He argued.

“Barty.” Remus barked with all the severity he could manage. “You don’t know how to swim.”

Barty scoffed indignantly. “Yeah, well…neither can Reggie!”

“That’s why I’m standing on the shore you absolute bell-end.” Regulus countered quickly.

Remus turned his furious gaze into a bemused one as he took in Regulus. “Do you really not know how to swim either?”

“None of us can!” You shouted from your disturbingly deeper place within the lake as the gentle waves nearly lapped against your skirt.

“Oh, for the love of- you know what? This summer, everyone’s getting swimming lessons.” Remus proclaimed.

“Ou, does that mean I get to see you in your swim trunks, Lupin?” Barty called.

Remus, without missing a beat, started towards Barty, walking into the lake in his shoes and all. “You could see me right now, in less, for free, Junior. You only had to ask.”

Barty let out a screech and tried running towards you, albeit in slow motion on account of the water’s resistance. “Y/N! Treasure! Help! Make him stop!”

“No can do, bubs.” You called back in monotone, still throwing chunks of bread towards the middle of the Lake in hopes of eliciting the company of one Giant Squid. 

“Dove, you’re going to catch a cold; get out of the water.” Remus called to you, pants soaked up to his knees after giving up on chasing Barty in the water.

“We’re trying to make friends!” You whined.

“You cannot make friends with a squid, amour. He will eat you.” Regulus explained from the shore. 

“He wouldn’t eat his friend.” You scoffed. 

“Dove.” Remus barked again.

“I want to see the the big water kitty!” You whined again, turning towards the boys and offering the most pathetic pout you could muster.

Regulus scoffed from his place, still dry on the shore, Remus let out a pained sigh, and Barty all but skipped towards you. 

“A valiant death it will be!” He cheered before he felt the fabric of his jumper being summoned by an accio, dragging him unceremoniously through the water towards Remus.

“No! Ah! AH! STRANGER DANGER. STRANGER DANGER!” He shrieked as Remus threw him over his shoulder.

“Okay, well, now you’re just showing off, Lupin.” He muttered, crossing his arm petulantly as Remus held his free hand out to you.

“Dove, please? Come inside with me?”

You looked distressed at this and moved obediently towards Remus. “Are you mad at me?” You asked timidly.

Barty could actually feel Remus’ body soften beneath him as he allowed some of his tension to dissipate. “Of course not, dovey. I love you.”

You leaned over and pecked a kiss to the corner of his mouth before turning into your animagus mink and swimming to the shore, crawling up Regulus’ pant leg (who admonished you in faux contempt for ruining his trousers), and allowed him to carry you back to the castle. 

Barty was feeling petulant about the whole matter of being chased and chastised so decided then that he was going to force Remus to carry him all the way back to the castle in silence.

Unfortunately for Barty, he hated silence.

He was at least proud he’d made it to the dungeons before giving up on his vow of silence.

“You’re really not upset with her?” Barty asked quietly from his current prison. He could feel Remus’ head tilt in confusion, though his steps never faltered.

“Of course not?” He responded as a question.

“Hmmm.” Barty said, racking his brain for something to upset or fluster this man.

“Oh! What about me having slept with both your boyfriend and your girlfriend?”

“What about it?” Remus asked plainly. 

“Well…aren’t you upset about that?”

Remus scoffed and adjusted his grip on Barty, hand’s migrating none too innocently up the back of his thighs. “Junior. The only thing I’m upset about is that you haven’t slept with all three of us. I don’t like feeling left out, you know?”

Barty made a strangled sound as he struggled in Remus’ grip to no avail, causing you and Regulus to chuckle from a few strides ahead as you all stepped into the Slytherin common room.

“We told you he was smooth, Barty.” You chuckled.

“You should hear him in bed.” Regulus taunted, reaching over to pinch Barty’s arse, causing him to yelp and start cursing at him.

Remus relented and put Barty down, who immediately made for Regulus’ throat.

“Easy, Junior.” Remus chuckled, pulling him back by the shoulder. “You wanna keep Reg around, don’t you?”

Barty harrumphed and crossed his arms indignantly.

“We’d like to keep you around.” Remus continued.

Barty grumbled again and let out a quiet. “Fine.”

Remus beamed at him, which was very alarming if you asked Barty, as they stepped into his and Regulus’ shared dorm; Rosier and Avery were already asleep in their beds with their curtains drawn.

“Yeah? You’ll let us keep you?” Remus asked.

“I said fine, Lupin.” He bit back.

“Great. So we’re in a relationship then.” He explained simply, causing Barty to level him with a severe glare. “How dare you, Lupin. Never say such vile things to me again.” He spat before storming towards the boy’s bathroom.

Regulus groaned and grabbed his own toiletries before making his way to the washroom behind him. “I’ll go make sure he doesn’t try to drown himself in the shower again.”

Remus shook his head and changed into his pyjamas before climbing into Regulus’ bed and pulling you towards him.

“So, explain this to me, Dove. Why is Barty the way he is?”

You snorted a laugh and turned to face him. “You’re going to have to be way more specific, love.”

Remus chuckled and ran his hands up and down your back. “He likes Reg. He loves you. He seems sweet on me. We invite him to be ours and he accepts - but runs when we make it mean something?”

You smiled up at your boyfriend and booped his nose with a perfectly manicured finger - which Remus found very confusing considering you spend your spare time scaling the rafters of grand ceilings and enticing Giant Squids from their hiding places. “Barty doesn’t understand, Rem. He wouldn’t know love if it punched him right in the face.”

Remus could feel his brows furrow and he pulled you in tighter to his chest. “Dove…love doesn’t punch you in the face?”

Apparently that had been the wrong thing to say as you rolled your eyes in exasperation and threw your head back onto the pillow. “You see? That’s the kind of thing someone who grew up loved would know.”

It’s not that Remus ever really forgot to worry about you per se, but he sometimes really worried about you Purebloods. 

At some point in the night, you had apparently decided Remus and Regulus’ bed was too hot and moved to Barty’s. Remus would have been slightly more petulant about the matter if he hadn’t thought you looked absolutely precious with Barty resting his head on your chest.

He looked so innocent in his sleep.

Sleep clearly didn’t know him very well.

Remus was shocked when the four of you entered the Great Hall for breakfast and Barty actually followed you three to the Gryffindor table. Though Remus was trying to play it cool, he couldn’t help but feel a flutter of hope surge within him at what that might mean for the three four of you.

Remus was just about to bite into his toast when a sultry voice sounded from behind Barty.

“Hello, Bartemus.” Amelia Bones sing-songed as she trailed a finger up Barty’s arm.

His brows furrowed almost comically from above the rim of his coffee cup before he slowly lowered it and turned to consider the Hufflepuff.

“Bones. Can I help you?” He asked, punctuating the word help as he plucked her fingers from his being between his two fingers as if he’d found something really quite disgusting on his person.

“I was thinking, you could help me, perhaps tonight?”

Barty turned to look at her incredulously.

“Help with what, Amelia? I’m really quite busy.” He spat, gesturing wildly to his cup of coffee. 

“An orgasm or two? Gods, you’re pissy in the mornings.”

Barty scoffed, sounding completely scandalised as he clutched at non-existent pearls adorning his neck. “I am sitting here with my beloveds, Amelia. For shame. You see this lot? I’m theirs, capiche?” 

Amelia looked bemusedly at the group of you before shaking her head in confusion. “Whatever you say, Junior.”

She moseyed on away, and Barty turned back towards his cup of coffee. “The gall of some people, honestly.” He said in exasperation, downing the rest of his still hot coffee and standing unceremoniously.

“Well, I best be off. Things to fuck up, people to scare. Tah-tah.” He called, pressing a quick kiss to your hair as he left the Great Hall.

Suddenly, realisation dawned on Remus.

“Ah, I see. So no to a relationship, but he is ours.”

You and Regulus chorused a hum of acknowledgement. 

“That’s just how Barty operates. You’ll get used to it.” You explained, still not looking up from the Daily Prophet you had been reading all this time.

Remus didn’t mind getting used to that; not if it meant he managed to get everything he wanted.

[eccentricallygothic]

Pairing: Eric Northman | Hunter's Daughter!You. 

Warning(s): Smut, m!Dom, f!sub, kissing, makeshift bondage, tongue play, feeding, minor blood play, Eric's fat cock, nipple play, unprotected p-in-v, probably fear kink, human x vampire, forbidden lovers trope, dirty talk, age gap (lmfao). MDNI.

Note: Idk if Eric's in anymore but my kid sister wants to watch True Blood so I showed her the trailer and here we are. Unedited because I've class in a few hours and I am exhausted~

It is dangerous, prohibited, condemned by nature herself. 

And yet, that has never been enough to stop you. 

As you stand in the chilly late evening air in the spot reserved for your meetings with your forbidden love, a shiver breaks out through your body but the reassurance that it would soon be compensated for by the electric touch of the main you await is enough to console you. 

You are looking in the opposite direction of that of your pursuer when he does arrive, his tall figure approaching you faster and quieter than you can process. 

Your surprised gasp doesn't make Eric falter as he zooms to one of his favorite spots to spend time with you in, your smaller body safely tucked in his muscular arms and pressed tightly against his chest. 

The moment your body touches the sturdy ground of the mountaintop on which the silver moonlight shines in the most fascinating way, Eric doesn't allow you a moment to stop and marvel at the scenery. Instead, his desperate hands and hungry lips are on you all at once. His inhuman speed only serves his depraved intentions. 

“Hello to you too—” your cheeky giggle is suppressed against his lips the moment you speak and his cold blue eyes flicker up to yours from the diversion of attention your sweet voice causes for him. 

Eric doesn't have to say it. You can hear it in his cross growls as he relieves you of your clothing by pushing your shirt and bra all the way up to your elbows until you're in a makeshift bondage and your damp pants are laying beside you. He is not happy with how long he has had to wait for you this time. 

You whimper out into his mouth in response, moaning at the feeling of his warm tongue dancing with yours as you lift your crotch to grind against his very stiff one. The waver in your breath is your silent apology as it is clear by now that Eric will not allow you any words tonight. He doesn't when he's not pleased with you, as apologies just sound like lousy excuses to him. And you are not one who dares to challenge him when he is already unhappy with you. Because you have made that mistake a handful of times, and each time, tears and snot were made your best companions. 

Eric's hungry kisses now travel down your chin and along your jaw as the hand that is not fondling your chest feels for your neck now, one of his knees having already expertly parted your legs for his body to slot between. Your throat goes dry from excitement as you look up at the stars, craning your head to the side to give him more access to the junction of your shoulder but arching your back from how his hot lips tickle your tender skin.

Eric growls again once he reaches his spot of choice and sticks his balmy tongue out to lick at the mark you hide under hair and turtlenecks. A cry escapes you when he reproaches you by choking your poor nipple out between his fingertips. When his cold blue eyes come up to glare at you once more, you pout and lean your weeping sex into his covered cock. 

You know why he is unhappy. It has been weeks since your last meeting thanks to your family of hunters that you have to keep as far away from your relationship as possible. One wrong move and everything you have built brick by brick in convincing your father that you had broken things off with the golden haired beast that loomed over you would come tumbling down. You furrow your eyebrows in an earnest manner, trying to get him to understand. It is not like you like being away from him. 

Eric finally relents, for now, when his thick cock twitches inside his pants and he leans down to lick his mark on you again, distastefully grunting at how it has healed from when he last had you. 

Your eyes flutter close from the feeling. Need sparks to life in your torso and snakes its way down your spine before spreading over your loins and dying into the mess you've made between your legs. Blood pumps through your ears in anticipation of what is going to come any second now. The faint clink of Eric's belt coming undone sounds somewhere in your lust stricken stupor and you bite your lip at the same time your ancient lover copies your action except into the delicate skin of your neck.

“Ah!” Is all you can let out as you feel his thick fangs slide into the patchiness of the ditched they created into your flesh a while back. The feeling of him tearing into you has you releasing more slick. You feel your cunt ache and your hole blinks from the way the suckling of his lips makes your head spin. 

Eric places his stiff tip against your opening with his free hand while still feeding on you, taking his sweet time and savoring your taste. You whine out again and your gaping pussy tries to retract defensively. Your cruel lover refuses to prepare you today, it seems. And while it doesn't really surprise you because he tends to do that as a way of exercising his ire on your tight little cunt on days like today, it hurts nevertheless. 

Besides, your pussy is way too small to take his cock as is. 

His groan into your skin makes your whole being reverberate as your eyes roll to the back of your head. Eric detaches his lips from your skin at last to let out a grunt when your stubborn opening keeps refusing him access, instead causing his tip to glide off over and over. 

You try your best to will your entrance to take him, but your tiny band is a brat, as Eric likes to call it. 

“I wonder what your proud father would say if he saw his prodigal daughter like this” Eric's broad shoulders shake from his bitter mirth as he enjoys the pained expression on your face when he moves back on his knees and forces you to slide down his hard shaft. “Mouth covered in her own blood and pussy clamped around the cock of his arch nemesis…” Your back arched as your petals hit the skin of his balls and his cock twitched deep inside your velvet cavern. “Mind too stupid for any dignified resolve” his long fingers gently stroked the strands covering your face away. “Do you want any such resolve, little one?”

A whimper escapes you when he snatches one of your hips in one hand and snakes his other arm around your back to lift you up and against him. Your pussy clenches when your eyes meet and you moan when he presses his blood covered lips to yours again, smearing the metallic liquid into your mouth with his tongue. It only makes you slot your trapped arms around his neck before you pull him closer. 

“N- No, Eric! O- Only—” the vehemence with which you shook your head was a humiliating one for a sober person. “Only you!” You screamed out as he lifted you off his cock, your pussy squelching soundly in the process, before slamming you down on his sack again.

[firesnap]

i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.

ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?

its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?

im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.

This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.

I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.

This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.

My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.

With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.

Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.

(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)

But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.

[mythunderstorm]

Let you go | MV1

Max Verstappen x fem!reader

summary: despite breaking up with you years ago, it seems like Max‘ still can’t forget about the time you shared.

warnings: short mention of J*s Verstappen, not really an happy ending but still sweet? idk

Normally I don’t write in first person but idk, just wanted to try something so enjoy some (short) heartbreak from Max‘ pov while I mentally prepare myself for the singapore gp lol

masterlist

It had been years since we broke up. Maybe five or even six, I think. Highschool sweethearts. Unbelievably in love but sadly not meant to last. I haven’t seen you since graduation, you going to university, I fulfilled my dream.

That‘s why this is the last place I ever expected to see you again - at one of my races. I remember that smile, that silky hair, those bright eyes, still the same from those years ago.

Just.. you.

You look a little lost, like you’re not exactly sure where to go or what to do. I was the one ending things. My career got more serious, I told you my attention should be a 100% on racing now. I told you what my father told me. I‘m sure you know my dad had something to do with the break up but you never dared to actually ask. I wouldn’t have told you the truth, anyway.

My eyes are entirely focused on you and then your eyes met mine. You realize you‘ve been caught. I notice you're with a friend, maybe even a new relationship. Regardless, seeing you brought back many bitter memories and feelings. I look forward, determined to ignore you, ignoring the part of my soul still in love with you.

I wonder if you sometimes wonder what would have happened if I never ended things with you. Because I certainly do. Would we still be together now? Or would it have ended one way or another?

I wonder if you still miss me, or if there's still any room for love in your heart. Because despite all the time that has passed, I love you. More than you know.

I can see you look up at the podium, proud but sad at the same time. I actually archived my dreams. The ones I told you about all the time while we were teenagers. The whole reason why I broke up with you in the first place. I did it. But sadly, not with you by my side.

It was heartbreaking. I still loved you deeply and after today, I wonder what might have been, if I made a mistake all those years ago.

Bullshit. I know I made a mistake that night. Ever since, your eyes kept me up at night.

I had to try and forget you, but that was much easier said than done. I missed the warmth of your eyes, your warm comforting touch. I missed your sweet voice and laugh. I missed everything about you.

Would you ever talk to me again, if you had the chance? I would want to talk to you. I‘m sure you miss me, even if it’s just a little bit. I was always good at reading your expressions.

But I am not the same guy you used to date in highschool. I’m not sure if I’m still the kind, caring Max you met and fell in love with. Because I don’t think I am that person anymore.

But I wonder the same about you. If you’re still the same caring, kind and friendly person you used to be. But I’m sure you are. You are perfect.

Even in the depths of our break up, no one else could replace you, and I think I'd known that back when we were together. It was impossible to not love you. Your presence alone made me feel like I had wings.

I look back at the late nights you sneaked me into your bedroom. Trying to keep your giggles at bay, getting lost in my eyes.

I miss those late nights we spent together and all the times we snuck around for that quick kiss or touch.

I miss holding your hand secretly underneath the table in the geography class we had together.

I miss holding you closely and feeling the heat of your body.

But most of all, I miss the warm touch of those lips. I wonder if they still taste and feel the same.

Oh what I’d give to kiss you again. Only once. If only you knew the feelings I felt for you. How the mere thought of your fingers on my skin or your voice whispering in my ear made my world stop.

I miss those long and tight hugs, I miss holding you in my arms as if I never wanted to let you go as I kissed your neck.

Oh god, I wish I was down there right now, next to you.

You smile at me and I ask myself if you’re bathing in memories and sorrow just like me. You throw one last glance at me, full of love but full of despair. Like you’re face is trying to say that you’ll always love me endlessly but it just wasn’t meant to be.

I look up and our eyes meet once again, though I know it is for one final goodbye. My heart beats faster as I look down at you from the podium and see this smile on your face. That smile I fell in love with so many years ago. I can't believe you've always lived in my heart, this entire time.

And now I let you go.

Or at least, I try.

[sugaroto]

Me: reads Cinderella boy at 3am

Cinderella boy:

GREEK MENTIONED 🇬🇷🇬🇷🇬🇷 WHAT 🏛️🏛️THE FUCK 🌯🕊️IS WHAT 🦅🔥🌅THE 🔥FUCK

Lemme translate I don't need sleep I need answers

What I can see:

ωρε (μ?) το θεό,

ναγκη,

απ' τα μάτια

?? πελάγη

γράμμα, μια

Θεό

Απ'τ

Έλεος

Δεν με λ

Και λιων

Και σ'αγα

Αραζωνω.

Some letters are not visible but most are easy to guess, so:

Ώρες μα το θεό,

Ανάγκη,

Απ' τα μάτια

(αι?) πελάγη

Γράμμα, μια

Θεό

Απ'τά

Έλεος

Δεν με λ

Και λιώνω

Και σ' αγαπώ

Μαραζώνω

AND IM IN FUCKING LOVE ITS GREEK NOT ANCIENT ITS NEW GREEK I AM IN LOVE

Like it is πολυτονικό, which means it has the ancient tones (the dots above the letters), in new Greek we use just one but this has all the different tones, but the grammar and words are all new Greek so I understand perfectly 🥰

And I feel like it might be lyrics of a love song so I need my Greek mutuals to tell me if they recognize something but yeah, English people here you go:

Hours I swear to God,

Need/necessity,

From the eyes,

Sea (but πέλαγος? So like? Open sea? Idk I'm google translating this one it's not θάλασσα but I'm not sure about πέλαγος in English? Oh also it's plural so I guess) seas, open seas?

Letter, 1 (once or one idk I'm missing context)

God

From (perhaps eyes again? I can't see the word)

Mercy

Doesn't L()* me (idk what pronoun could be used for "who" doesn't and I also cant see the verb, so it's like *they* don't λ me)

And I melt

And I love you

I languish/waste away (verb used for the way plants do it)

Ok thats it

Forgive me for it is 4 am

Ps *don't suspect "doesn't L me" stands for love, it's Greek λ, and love in Greek is αγάπη (αγαπώ for the verb, as you can see in the σ' αγαπώ line) I think I'm actually seeing a start of an υ next to the λ? And the only thing I can think of right not is λύπη? So I'm guessing perhaps it could be "don't feel sorry for me"(δεν με λυπάσαι)? But I could be wrong

Yeah ok good night, I'll search it in the morn- no wait I won't sleep

JAFFNAMFSMFSSKTKSG ITS A LOVE SONG AAAUAGSVAVSVVAVgs I FOUND IT UAHSGGAGA

I swear to God sometimes

I need you so much

That from my eyes run

Seas and open seas

Sent me a letter, one syllable

If you have your God

That I'm hanging from your lips

And I am at your mercy

Damn you don't you feel sorry for me

That I burn and melt

That you made me love you

And now I languish

My thoughts have been locked

Inside the mind's basements

Ah, how much I want to say to you

But there are no words

Damn you don't you feel sorry for me

That I burn and melt

That you made me love you

And now I languish

Damn you don't you feel sorry for me

That I burn and melt

That you made me love you

And now I languish

That you made me love you

And now I languish

Official Cinderella boy song Anathema se(damn you) by Giannis Kotsiras

Good night, excuse any mistakes I might have made it's 4:25 am, + Punko I am in love

[bunnakit]

my stand in final thoughts, feelings, etc.

what an absolute ride of a show. what a series of ups and downs and downs and downs and up.

i think what i find so charming about this show is that it really exemplifies what it means to be human. each character was flawed in their own way and each made mistakes that at the end of the day were just human mistakes. no one felt like a mustache twirling villain but rather a flawed human being that got caught up in something bigger than themselves, or caught up in their own ego, hubris, etc.

in a show that was clearly framed to be about second chances i really did not expect the wide array of examples of different second chances in life - the obvious being joe and ming, but then there was joe and new!joe's mother, ming and his mother, tong and may, joe and sol, etc. almost everyone experienced a second chance of some kind with one another. almost all second chances worked out towards a positive outcome but i respect that some were neutral outcomes at best; a total reset. a second chance doesn't always mean total forgiveness and absolution but rather a new slate to try again and i really appreciate that MSI made it a point to showcase that.

i am also once again grateful that the show did not fall into the evil mother trope. i was gritting my teeth waiting to see what became of ming's mom and in the end both she and joe's mom were parents doing their best, wanting the best for their children, and stumbling along the way - another perfect example of humanity.

i couldn't even come to fully hate tong by the end. the industry inflated his ego, he felt indestructible, he was able to get anything he wanted with his connections, and he allowed that confidence to turn to hubris and got involved in something far bigger than himself. a scared, cornered beast will almost always lash out and at the end of the day tong was lashing out for any chance of survival. he needed a wake up call of catastrophic proportions to get his head on straight but throughout the show they did show us reminders of how much he loved may, little glimmers of who he was behind all of that, and by the end when he was able to find peace those traits shone through again.

and with ming i appreciated that he still felt like the same person. he was still an asshole, still rough around the edges, still who he was at the beginning of the show but his efforts were channeled elsewhere, his priorities changed, and he learned what he truly values out of life. joe didn't magically change ming, but he did alter his perspective and give him so much to consider.

i still cannot fathom the pain joe has to go through every day looking in the mirror and knowing he will never see his face looking back at him. the show teased little peeks of the affect this would have on his mental health and i wish it had maybe delved into that more but mental health is always a slippery slope.

for the grit and darkness of the show the ending felt a little too fairy tale for me but i was also kind of hoping joe didn't come back. i know, horrible of me, but if i was him? i don't think i would've come back. he had to be so, so tired and he'd been through so much, that part of me wanted to see that happen as a final nail in the coffin, a message that sometimes death comes for us no matter how hard we try to run from it, and sometimes death is a kindness at the end of a long and painful journey.

idk i'm also a slut for angst so ignore me.

i wasn't mad at the ending by any means, i enjoyed the little nods to potential side couples, i loved seeing things come full circle, loved joe's realization that while HE always saw himself as a stand in or someone overlooked everyone else remembers his past self fondly and he made an impression on them. in the end, so much of joe's self worth issues were his own insecurities exacerbated by ming's emotional abuse.

that being said, don't forget to tell people in your life how much they mean to you. it can mean a lot more to them than you can imagine.

definitely think MSI is my fav bl of 2024 so far, it was something unique and a little darker, more mature, all things i've been craving for a while.

[idontplaytrack]

Rejanis angst? Breakup?

With “party favor” by Billie Eilish as like inspo? Idk lol

✧ Party favor

Janis ‘Imi’ike x Regina George

Warnings: angst, coarse language, some descriptions of smut, self-harm, implied eating disorders & some mentions

"It's not you, it's me and all that other bullshit You know that's bullshit, don't you, babe? I'm not your party favor."

"Oh, my God. I am sick of you being-"

"Oh, are you, now? You're sick of me? Is that what your attitude lately meant?"

"You're not letting me finish my sentences."

Regina responded through gritted teeth.

"Like what you want to say would be any better." Janis scoffed.

“As I was saying,” Regina continues, “I am sick of you being so paranoid! What the fuck, honestly.”

“What the fuck is right.” Janis lets out a dry chuckle, “What the fuck is my life right now? What the fuck kind of life have I been living?”

“I told you, you need to start taking care of yourself, otherwise—”

“What, Regina, what?” Janis snapped, “You’re gonna force feed me? Commit me? You’re the last person that should be telling me what to do. All those things already happened. You really—”

“I’m breaking up with you.”

“Fuck you.” Janis spat, “I was there for you in the hospital when they took you there against your will. I visited you when no one else did, all while trying to make it through college. And now you’re just going to do this? You know what? I hear you, just leave. We don’t have to see each other ever again, anywhere. Fucking leave! Why are you still standing there? You left me once, I’m very sure you’ll have no problem at all doing that again.”

“I told you, Alex was a one-night stand.” Regina sighs.

“No.” Janis answered, “No. I’ve had enough of pain from you, I am not setting myself up for a round three. I don’t want anything! To do with you ever again. I am who I am because of you! You don’t get to shove that excuse in my face when you cheated on me.”

“I was drunk!”

“So drunk you could forget your girlfriend of a whole year? So drunk that you forgot someone you saw at least twice a week? I travelled from here to Connecticut for you without fail. The least you could do is be honest with me.”

Regina trembled in shock seeing and hearing Janis screaming like that. But then a feeling of sadness, and anger and guilt all washed over her at once. But, the blonde turned and faced the front door, swallowing the painful lump in her throat. But she still doesn’t leave somehow. 

“Even after such a clear mistake, you still have to be right. I saw you that night in that bar in Queens. I know how you’re like when you’re drunk. You weren’t drunk that night — so don’t bother. I am not someone you can just use and toss. I am not someone you can call just because you need me but when I needed you, you couldn’t do the same for me. You always make up excuses! When have you been honest with me since the name-calling started? A leopard never changes its spots, Gina. I really should’ve known better, you are a motherfucking bitch that deserves nothing for everyone you’ve hurt and treated like collateral damage along the way. Go fuck yourself.” 

————

“You lit her backpack on fire?!” Mrs. ‘Imi’ike screamed at Janis. 

“She was making fun of me! She’s been making fun of me for months! So has the rest of the school, Mom!”

“So, someone calls you a name, you take a Bunsen burner and torched someone’s bag?”

“A name?” Janis scoffed, “She called me an obsessed lesbian. She outed me, she humiliated me. She made my life hell.”

“You should not have done that.” 

“Sandra.” Her dad interjected, “No. Janis wouldn’t have done something like that for no good reason.”

“We raised you better than this.”

“You raised me to stand up for myself. I’ve been nothing but tolerant of all sorts of nasty names and insults thrown in my face. I couldn’t take it anymore, I cannot face anyone in that school anymore. I’m done.”

“Ben, she committed a violent act.” Sandra turned to face her husband.

“Do you hear what she’s been saying, Sandra? Our daughter was bullied for months and we had no clue. We failed to protect her, we failed to help her. This isn’t her fault.”

~~~~~

She had the blade in her hand, her eyes closely looking at it, then her wrist. Her hand was shaking, she was terrified. But her fear of her ex-best friend overpowered the fear of her own actions. The metal slides across her tender skin, bright red droplets trickled out from the cut. Janis took a sharp inhale, chewing on her lower lip to keep from making any noise. In that moment, the noise in her head was silenced and replaced by white hot searing pain from the self-inflicted injury. It worked, she wasn’t thinking about the names, about the snickering, about Regina. But actual physical pain that she could control. 

~~~~~

“We can’t afford to homeschool you, Janis. We have to work.” Ben apologised.

“I know.” Janis fiddled with her thumbs as a force of habit.

“Go grab something to eat then we’ll be on your way to your therapy session.” Ben nudged.

“Okay.” Janis nodded, feeling somewhat defeated. She knew her parents were doing the best they could, but just maybe…her Mom was still just a little mad and would rather be at work than be at home with her. Well, her Dad’s been the only one taking her to and fro therapy and home— Janis had been kicked out of school for the remainder of the year. 

This incident strained the mother and daughter’s relationship but it was almost inevitable. That’s just how Sandra’s been like for as long as she could remember. She wasn’t too flexible. Or open-minded. 

Janis had been going to therapy for three weeks now. That meant six sessions. And she’s cried every time. It was liberating, helpful but also left her a little tired. And a little headache. So that annoyed her a bit but she felt somewhat better and was making progress. 

“Janis, I’ll see you Tuesday.” 

“See you, Joan.” Janis gave the older woman a tight-lipped smile as she chewed on her dry lips, leaving the dimly lit office. 

“Tuesday.” Joan reminded.

“I’ll be here.” Janis answered. 

Pushing the creaky metal door, Janis steps out onto the front steps of the building, the summer heat torching her skin. She squints to be able to see clearly, the sun overhead hurting her eyes. Janis then sees her Dad driving up to the pickup point in the family car. Janis swiftly skipped down the steps and got into the vehicle, wanting to escape the sweltering heat. 

“Hi, ladybug.” Ben smiled, “Do you wanna go for some froyo?”

“Maybe after the next session.” Janis smiled back apologetically, sniffling, “Today’s session really took it out of me. I kinda just want to go home and nap.”

“Yeah, of course.” He nodded in understanding as he began their drive home. 

They got home, Janis took a shower and took a nap. And while Sandra was at work, Ben took the time to make the family dinner tonight. He’d already taken the day off work to keep Janis company after all.

~~~~~

Ben dropped Janis and Damian off at the mall for a movie and a lunch at the food court. The pair hadn’t seen each other in awhile, since Janis had to get used to therapy and being medicated. Nearing the end of summer, everything started to calm down, gaining a new sense of normalcy. 

Just like always, Damian cracked her up. Made her laugh until her stomach hurt. Something she’d missed so much since what happened with Regina. 

“So no homeschool?”

“One of them has to work at least. Dad’s job pays more so my mom wants him to keep at it but my mom’s…my mom. She doesn’t think mental health is a thing. So even though I have the therapist’s memos and shit, she doesn’t want to accept it.” 

“It’ll be okay. I’ll catch you up, the school will know too. I’ll make sure they do.” Damian assured. 

“Thanks, Damian.”  Janis genuinely smiled as she held her milkshake straw between two fingers and gave it a stir.

“Hey, I got your back, okay. You know that. Everyday, since two thousand and nine.”

~~~~~

Janis was doing so well, she really, really was. Until she wasn’t. Two weeks before the new school year started, Janis ran into Regina and Karen at a bookstore. A bookstore out of all places. The blonde sneered at Janis, all while her dad was barely five feet away. The guy definitely saw it and shot the duo a warning glare. The tall blonde only scoffed and smirked, tossed her hair then continued browsing. But not before she purposely walked closer to Janis to try and shove her out of the way. Even an idiot could see that there was a huge space between them at first. “That is enough. What you did to my daughter is unacceptable.”

“Aw, look. Daddy’s little girl needs her daddy to protect her, fight her battles for her.” Regina laughed.

“Let’s go, Daddy.” Janis tugged on his arm. He quickly took her and left without buying anything even though he’d promised Janis a new storybook for all the progress she’s made recently. 

“Ignore her, hm? How about a donut?” 

“No, thanks.” Janis declined.

“A smoothie?” Ben asked hopefully. 

She says no to that, too but they continued their way around the mall for awhile. Janis now knew better than to focus on what put her in a bad mood. “Daddy, maybe we could get some dinner before we go home.” Janis suggested, “Mom’s not in town anyway.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Ben smiled, relieved, “What do you feel like having for dinner?” 

The father and daughter wound up at the food court, enjoying their orange chicken and fried rice then a blizzard each from Dairy Queen to wash it down. By the time they were on their drive home, Janis had forgotten entirely what upset her.

~~~~~

“Why do you think she kissed you?”

“Don’t know, to get a reaction out of Kyle? And me?”

“Alright, but why?” Joan prompted.

“She’s crazy, I don’t know, Joan. I don’t know why my best friend of six years one day decided to pull this stunt and not be the person I knew anymore.”

“How did Kyle react?”

“He— he cheered. He was happy to see us kiss. It was disgusting, he told us to kiss again. Regina almost leaned in for another, I pushed her away and ran out of her house. Gretchen came out to the curb to check on me but I wasn’t having it— she and Regina had gotten close those last few weeks. Regina had not been talking to me as much at that point but this sleepover was a weekly thing and she wanted me there as usual so I went then it happened and changed everything. I knew Gretchen really was worried about me, that’s never changed about her. She’s always been nice.”

“How did you feel when you kissed her?”

“Um—” Janis stopped bouncing her leg, “I…I liked it. Because— I actually, I caught feelings for her over time. But I never told her, I never had the chance to.”

“And how’d that make you feel?”

“Heartbroken. Angry. Like I want to strangle her for saying that I only let her kiss me because I was obsessed with her.” Janis answered, “I really cared about her, I cherished her. I didn’t want to tell her until I was sure she felt the same way. Or maybe I was never going to say anything because I was too scared it would change things between the two of us. Joan…I felt safe with her, then my whole world as I knew it got…wrecked in the matter of minutes.”

“Janis, what do you think caused her to change?”

“She got a boyfriend, I don’t know. Regina George only cares about herself now. Everyone else is like dirt on the ground to her. She saw me at the bookstore and shoved past me even though there was tons of space.”

“It might be deeper than that.”

“How so?”

“Based on what you’ve been telling me, and given how much time you’ve spent together with Regina, she’s never met Kyle before that sleepover and declared him to be her boyfriend.”

“Yeah, well Kyle’s a new kid— oh.”

“I think, she might’ve done what she did because she was trying to avoid admitting to herself that she acknowledged a change in herself when you came out to her.”

“A change…?”

“The feelings, that you had for her. Could be mutual. She just isn’t ready to come to terms with it.” Joan revealed, “I see this quite a bit even just in a week. But, be that as it may, her outing you and publicly humiliating you was not the way to go.”

“Yeah no shit.” Janis chewed the inside of her cheek.

“Janis, what do you do in your free time?”

“You mean everyday? I got kicked out because I finally retaliated, remember?” Janis laughs. 

“Well, I remember. But I was just thinking maybe picking up a new hobby or two that you can focus on, that you really enjoy and immerse yourself in.”

“Well, I like art so I’ve been sketching and painting a whole lot more over the summer since I naturally have a lot of free time on my hands.”

“Good.” Joan nodded, “Make use of art, channel your emotions into your pieces. I could help you work through some of it without you actively realising. I know the sessions sometimes take a lot out of you, you feel a lot in the 45 minutes. Very intensely. Art could let you have an outlet to release those emotions and thoughts. On top of the methods we’ve began to discuss, that is.”

Janis gave the lady a solemn nod, “I will. I’ll stick to it. Um, running into Regina that day upset me. I wish I hadn’t seen her because I was doing so well.”

“The thing about healing and recovery is that it takes time. And it’s never really linear all the time. These encounters are bumps in the road, little dips in the chart.” Joan explained, “How you respond and move forward from them is what matters. And what tells you where you are in your progress.”

“Me and my dad, we left the bookstore and we carried on walking around the mall. He offered to buy me a donut, a smoothie— declined. Didn’t feel like it because in that moment I just lost my appetite.” Janis began, “But then we just kept walking and window shopping, and the…encounter was tossed to the back of my mind, I could pretty quickly focus on what was in front of me instead of what’s already happened.”

“See? That’s great, that’s progress. Improvement. It will take time, but with the effort you’ve been putting in, you’ve got it.”

~~~~~

“What?” Damian glares at the blonde. “What the hell did you just say to me?”

“I said you were stupid. Stupid for believing her. She’s clearly doing all of this for attention.”

“I think you are. You put on that damn show asking if you could kiss her. You are one messed up person.”

Regina raised her brows, the smirk never leaving her face. “What am I doing, Damian? Straight A’s, I look put together, great friends. Meanwhile she looks like she just rolled out of bed and came to school.”“You? Straight A’s. Don’t go lying to yourself, Regina. That’s very stupid of you. Keep her name out of your mouth while you’re at it. You’ve decided to let her go, so do that. Otherwise, you’re like, the one obsessed with her or something.”

Janis’ hatred for the girl only grew with each passing day. The sight of her made her sick, and also made her want to punch the wall. But she wasn’t going to damage school property and let herself be the one getting into trouble. Not again. Regina George wasn’t worth it. Damian was right— she’d decided to let her go, so Janis should be treating Regina as if she didn’t exist. As if she was invisible. 

~~~~~

“I made a mistake.” Janis revealed as she sunk into the armchair, “I was six weeks clean. Six weeks. But last night I spiralled and it happened again”

“We talked about this, picking yourself back up and moving forward is the way to go. Take care of it, get it cleaned and bandaged because we don’t want infections. But you recognise this action, you know not to dwell on it. You have the ways— other ways to help you work through the urge.”

“I wasted my effort. This was the longest I’ve ever gone without doing that.”

“No, no effort was wasted.” Joan disagreed, “Janis, would you have talked to me about this if it was even just a month ago? Would you have successfully calmed yourself down and called me to tell me you needed to see me sooner?” 

“No?”

“Precisely.” Joan continued, “That, you making that call to me, to tell me what you needed was a result of your effort, you know what’s good for you, what can help you after a mistake, after a little slip on your journey. Remember that, be proud of that, the little wins. One by one, they’ll add up and become a major change in your life. A good change.”

~~~~~

“Move your fat ass out of the way, ‘Imi’ike.” Regina snarled.

Janis stiffens, scurrying out of the way, her back pressed up against the lockers as she stared at the ground when Regina and her posse walked by.  

Again, there was plenty of space around them. Janis just got startled, and reacted. She’d already had a rough morning hearing her parents get into it, fighting about her. “Either you eat faster and go on your way to school, or don’t eat at all.” Her mom bellowed irritatedly. Janis jumped, scared. Sighing, she scraped her plate and left it in the sink then promptly left the house. Her Dad caught up and drove her to school. “Get breakfast when you arrive in school, okay? It’s still early.”

“Okay, Daddy.”

The rest of the ride was silent with the exception of the radio playing in the background. It wasn’t a long ride, anyway.

“I’ll see you right here after school, okay, ladybug?” Ben pulls up in front of the school.

Janis nodded, he kisses her on the head and gave her a hug from the side.

“I love you, have a good day.”

“Love you.” Janis forced a smile before she got out of the car.

A tap on her shoulder pulls her back into the present. “Jesus, Damian! You scared me.”

“You told me to look for you at your locker after school. What were you expecting?” He teased.

“Nothing, I just got scared that’s all.” 

“Well, I’m sorry.” Damian apologises, putting an arm across her shoulders, “Let’s go get burgers.”

Janis gulped, Regina's comment rang through her ears again: “Move your fat ass out of the way, ‘Imi’ike.”

She shook her head as though to get rid of that voice, then continued making her way out of the school building with Damian. They walked to their usual after school spot — their favourite fast food restaurant to enjoy their favourite burgers and fries.

Janis was starving, the school lunch sucked so she was glad to be able to get her favourite food here. But after awhile, the annoying voice came back. “Woah! May be  time for you to get a bigger sized shirt, Jan. That is not a cute look.”

“Kalua pork and rice again? You oughta cut down on that meat intake. You’ve really let yourself go these days.” The blonde sighs. 

“Look at me.” Damian snapped his fingers in front of her face to get her attention.

“What?”

“I know this look.” Damian admits, “She said shit to you, didn’t she?” 

“Since when does she not, Damian?” Janis dropped a fry back onto her plate. 

“She’s a bitch. She ain’t worth any of your time. Focus on yourself.”

“I may be focusing on myself too much.”

Damian quirked a brow, seemingly having figured out what Janis meant. “No fucking way.” 

“Oh she did. First thing she says to me every day now ever since you know — my body changed.”

“She called you obsessed? Who’s the obsessed one now? She’s always thinking of you, my friend.” 

Janis guffaws, “No thank you.” 

~~~~~

Tossing her clothes into the hamper, Janis grabs her towel and a fresh change of clothes then walked to her bathroom. Out of nowhere, the mirror caught her eye and she stopped in front of it. She looked at the reflection of her new body that she was still trying so hard to get used to. Puberty sucked— why’d her body have to change? Her hand glided down her side, stopping right by her hip. Her fingers pinched the flesh, her eyes traced her own features. Squinting, as if to look closely, as if to commit how they looked in to her memory. 

When did she get this extra flab?

When did her thighs start getting so close together?

When she seem this short? Why was she still so short? 

Janis groans, rolling her head and shoulders to relax the tension. “God, I’m fat.”

~~~~~

February, Valentine’s Day was in a week. Kids around her were all buzzing with excitement, talking about their mushy gushy plans. Janis shuddered at the thought. 

Pulling her sleeve down as she walked to her locker, “Oh, wow. Daddy’s sweater?” 

“Yeah, so? Mind your business.” 

“Smart choice, really covers up your problem areas.” 

Janis got her chemistry textbook out of her locker, shut the door and swiftly left the area. 

After school that day, Damian went to therapy with Janis. He waited outside, of course. 

“Hi, Janis.” 

“Hi, Joan.” Janis put her bag down and sat in the armchair, like always. “So…Regina really, really pissed me off today. I don’t know why— it wasn’t even that bad of a remark compared to what she usually says.” 

“What did she say?”

“She made fun of me for wearing my Dad’s sweater. Said it was a smart choice because it covered up my problem areas. She’s been calling me fat for weeks— directly, or indirectly.”

“And how have you been doing with that?”

“Oh.” Janis laughs, “Art pieces have been piling up.”

~~~~~

“Janis.” Sandra narrows her eyes at her daughter, “Eat the food, don’t just push it around on your plate.”

“I already did.”

“Finish it, you just told me the school lunch tasted horrible. It’s dinner time now.”

“I’m full.”

“You’re wasting my food.” Sandra continued, clearly unhappy. 

Ben looked between them both, concerned. For different reasons. 

“I said I’m full.” Janis inhaled sharply, gripping the metal fork tightly. Then she drops it, it hits the plate noisily. Janis got up and ran up to her room. 

“Janis!” Her mother shrieked, “You better stop that and get back down here. Finish your dinner.”

Janis stopped on a step, hesitating. But, she continued stomping upstairs despite that. “She’s crazy. How is she full?”

“Sandra, you can’t just say these things. You know that.”

“And she knows better than to take that plate for herself if she isn’t going to finish it.”

Ben sighs,”That’s it. I’ve had enough.”

“Well, good.” Sandra smiled.

“Of you. I’ve had enough of you.” Ben clarified, “You are no good. You don’t see how hard she’s trying to get better. You don’t hear how loud she was struggling. I’m doing my job as her parent and helping her. You are just here, day in and day out with useless, and harmful comments that you think you can just say and think she doesn’t hear you. Guess what? She hears you, she takes your words to heart because you are her mother. What you say to her means more than you know. You either stop this damn behaviour or I’m taking Janis and we’re moving.”

Sandra arched a brow looking at him, “Okay. Move out.” She retrieves an envelope from her bag on the couch, handing it to Ben. “Sign the papers, then you’re free to go with her.”

~~~~~

“Janis, you have to come see me tomorrow.”

“Rather not.”

“Why not?” Joan asked.

“Because, I’m tired.”

“And I want to talk to you about some things, it will help.”

“My parents got divorced.”

“I’m aware, Janis. You texted me about that.”

“Should I switch schools?”

“Of course you can.” Joan replies, “I’ve talked to your father about getting you into a different school as a possibility. He has left that choice up to you.”

“Joan, I know that. He told me that, but I’m— not sure.”

“Tell me more.”

“Well, having to start over is scary. And it’s my last year until high school, so it seems…not worth it?” 

“Is the thought of being in a brand new environment more tolerable, or the thought of being in the same space as your bully? It may be your last year, but every day should count. You should be living a life where you put yourself first.” 

“I know what to do. Thanks, Joan.”

~~~~~

“Stop laughing and go do your homework.”

“Already done, mom.”

Sandra;s nostrils flared, “I’ve had enough of your attitude, Janis. After everything we’ve done for you, you repay us by getting into trouble, becoming gay and wasting your Dad’s time and money sending you to therapy. Those are all just excuses, Janis.” 

“All those didn’t happen overnight.” Janis’ heart sank. She had tears quickly welling in her eyes. Why was her mother like this? Why doesn’t she love her?

Quietly slipping upstairs, Janis carefully shut and locked her door. Going up to her desk, she pulls out this stack of enveloped notes from her drawer and placed it on the desk. She sits on the edge of her bed, skilfully retrieving the blade she hasn’t seen in ages from her nightstand. She was crying,  she could feel the tears hitting her thighs, hitting her forearms. When she went ahead, it stung— at first. But she was used to this, so she repeated her actions, only wincing when her salty tears hit the sites. Over and over, deeper and deeper. Her grip goes weaker and weaker…her vision was blurred by her tears but she blinked them away and her vision comes back into focus. Janis sees the photo of her as a child, with her father at Pololū Valley…back home. In Kohala. How Janis wishes she could be home. Not here in this house. The blade falls from her grip, hitting the floor. Janis curses, beginning to feel lightheaded. Blinking profusely, she was suddenly aware of the excruciating pain and was doing everything in her power to not scream. 

Holding her phone with a shaky hand, Janis dials her dad’s number. He picks up in seconds, “Daddy, daddy I’m sorry. Please help me, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.”

His blood ran cold hearing how broken she was. “Ipo, I’m calling 911 right now. Will you stay awake for daddy? Please, ladybug? Promise?”

Shit. Ben was only out of the house for awhile— he’d went to the bakery nearby to get Janis’ favourite cake as a reward for a 94% percent on a math quiz.

“I promise…but it hurts so much, Daddy.”

“I know, ladybug. I gotta hang up, but I’ll be right there with you, I promise.”

A second later, Ben had hung up on Janis to call 911. Janis didn’t stay awake for more than a minute. She’d passed out. Even the thud didn’t alarm Sandra. Not until she saw the paramedics drive up to the house.

~~~~~

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know—”

“You did. You were just too stuck in your own mindset and beliefs. We’re not married anymore. Just go, you’re free.” 

As apologetic as Sandra was now, as much as she’d cried. Ben knew not to give in anymore. Why should he? Janis almost successfully took her own life under her care. Because of her words. 

Janis looked away when she saw her mother turning her head to look at her. She hated her. Janis hated this woman. And she wasn’t sorry about it. Why should she? 

“Daddy, I wanna go home.”

“I know, I know. You can’t just yet.” Ben cups her face, brushing her tears away. “But I promise you, we will.”

Janis spent three days under constant supervision, then three months in the psych ward.  Her education had no doubt been put on pause, but that meant full, undivided focus on her recovery— anxiety, depression, self-harm and disordered eating. She really buckled down and put her heart and soul into getting better. For her own sake, she wanted to get out and do more. Go back to school, make new friends, spend time with Damian— she wanted to live life again. 

~~~~~

“Here’s the cake I owe you.” Ben smiled, letting go from the hug, “Welcome home.”

“Thank you, Daddy.”

“It’s nothing.”

Janis shook her head, “Thank you. For everything.” 

“It wasn’t all me, ladybug. You’ve done a whole lot of work for yourself to get to where you are now.”

“Can we go to the beach, please?” Janis smiled, sniffling. 

“And get shave ice?” Ben asks with a chuckle.

“Always.”

~~~~~

The Plastics were in O’ahu for their high school graduation trip. Janis didn’t know until Damian brought it up. This was the first time she’s heard that name or seen that face since she moved back to Kohala with her Dad following the divorce. Janis was turning 14, and they had to make do with living out of a room in a relative’s home for awhile, but Janis has never been happier. To be homeschooled, to be here, to be home. At peace, at last. 

“Well, when are you coming here, dude? I miss you.”

“Next week, Janis.” Damian says, “I’m a broke ass bitch, had to book my flight out for the date that’s the cheapest.”

“Alright.” Janis laughs heartily, “See you soon.”

“Lunch is ready, Janis.” Her aunt knocks on the patio door.

“I’ll be there in a second, ‘Anakē. Just have to finish up this part of the piece.”

“Okay, honey.” 

~~~~~

“Janis? Oh, my God. It’s you.” A familiar voice stops Janis in her tracks on the beach. She was curious, not tense, or worried, or anxious. She turns around, and comes face to face with Gretchen Wieners. 

“Hi, Gretchen.”

“I’m so glad to see you again.”  Gretchen walked closer, Janis smiled wider. And then, they hugged.  “I didn’t know you moved back here.”

“I didn’t tell anyone.” Janis chuckles, “How are you?”

“Our senior class is here for a graduation trip. Regina is nearby if you’d rather steer clear of her.” Gretchen said, then her voice trails off at the end. Janis squints, “Are you okay?” 

“Uh, yeah. Just— Regina is behind—”

“I am sorry.” Regina began once Janis turned around the other way to look her in the eye, “But I know it doesn’t cut it. I’ve hurt you. Everything you’ve been through started because of me. I don’t know what else I can say except apologise over and over and over hoping that you hear me. That you acknowledge it, you don’t have to forgive me. I deserve it. And more. Janis, you were the greatest loss of my life.”

This was the first time Janis had been calm in front of Regina. First time since they were friends. Damn, how long ago was that?

“I was a nasty person, in denial. But I…I’ve missed you every day that I’ve spent apart from you.”

~~~~~

Janis was certain she was dreaming, feeling the girl’s lips against her own, eager, tender, exciting, and filled with yearning. After six long years, they have both found themselves, and their way back to each other.  

“Are you sure you want to—”

Janis answered the question by connecting their lips.

One thing led to another quickly, becoming increasingly heated. Regina backs Janis onto the mattress, straddling her smoothly.  “I’ve missed you so fucking much. I can’t believe it took me this long to accept that I was gay.”“Just kiss me already.” Janis pulls her down.

Regina chuckles into the kiss, unbuttoning Janis’ shirt and reaching back to unclip her bra, freeing the girl’s breasts. As Regina kisses a trail along her jaw and down her neck, Janis’ head got thrown back as she swallowed a low noise.  

“Holy shit, that is a gorgeous tattoo.”

Janis chuckles lowly when she feels the blonde’s fingertips tracing the art, “Thanks.”

~~~~~

“Fuck— I— I love you.”  Regina panted, falling onto her back next to Janis. Janis laughs breathily, in disbelief of what she’d just heard. 

“Okay. Wow.” Janis turned her head to look at Regina.

“I do. And I have for years. I just couldn’t—”

Janis smiled, brushing the stray hairs out of the blonde’s face, cupping her cheek. A sleepy smile tugs at her lips. 

“Where are you going for college—”

“Can we talk about this tomorrow? When we’re more awake and alert?” Janis requested.

Regina hums, nodding, “Yeah, that’d be better.”

~~~~~

In the fall, Regina starts college at Yale, and Janis at NYU. The couple did long-distance but saw each other in person at least every other week. 

This new stage of their lives was going well. They were thriving, but by the summer, Janis notices Regina getting more and more withdrawn, and cold. Snarky, like her old self. 

Over a late night FaceTime call, Regina reveals that she’d relapsed. She was struggling with bulimia again after being three years in recovery. Despite all efforts, Regina deteriorated and had to be in the hospital. 

At first, Regina only took a leave of absence. But then she’d eventually withdrew her name from school. Janis did all she could to support her girlfriend, but it was so tough. She’d started to shut everyone out. 

They’d then decided to return to their regime of FaceTime calls— everyday. The distance allowed them to cool off. For Regina to focus on recovery, for Janis to focus on school. There wasn’t any more Janis could do at this point. She wasn’t a medical professional. 

~~~~~

After a full year in the recovery facility, Regina could finally go home. Home, as in Chicago. But June did something— she’d bought Regina an apartment in New York so she could be closer to Janis. So then, their relationship went on without another mention of Regina’s eating disorder. Like it’s never happened. 

They were healing, they were fulfilled, they were happy. 

Were they really happy? Or in denial of their past and choosing to forget instead of process them?

Janis knew she was the happiest she’s ever been. The most authentically herself.  But she’s had times where she found herself wondering if Regina was indeed happy to be with her.

Her gut was trying to tell her something.

————

After four years in the city that never sleeps, Janis was once again back where she was meant to be. Home. With her family. 

“New York was fun, huh, ladybug?”

“It was. It was…something special. Learnt a lot, about myself, about other people.”

“I know, honey.” Ben nodded in understanding, “Hey, maybe we should make it our thing, to go to the city every year? It’ll be fun.” 

“I’d like that.” Janis agreed.

“Did you manage to meet anyone special?” 

She laughs, “I have been talking to this girl in one of my lectures, but no, not dating yet.” 

“Ua ola loko i ke aloha.” Ben reminded. 

“Love gives life within.” Janis grins, “I know, Daddy. When the timing is right, what’s meant to happen will happen.” 

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

[mlm-writer]

Jericho (Conner Kent x FtM!Reader)

Pairing: Top!Conner Kent (YJ ver.) x Bottom!FtM!Alien!King!Reader Rating: Explicit (or Mature if you skip the last part) Words: 1565 POV: Second Summary: You fight the final battle to free your people from alien invaders (and then have sex with your bf after) Note: Gayden wanting to write plot vs y’all wanting smut. Inspired by Jericho by Iniko. Reader’s body is described as ‘his true form’, so you get to pick whatever that means for you. Tags: action, murder, alien reader, your nemesis misgenders you but they also murdered your people so idk what you feel like is worse, established relationship, epic fight scene, fluffy sex, Conner low key a service dom, oral (reader receiving), fingering, anal/vaginal sex and cockwarming

The light of your photon-sword was blinding as it tore through your enemies one by one. The purple blood of the invader species coated almost every inch of your armour. The call of your name behind you made you turn around, just in time to see another intruder trying to lunge at you. It screeched as you sliced its torso clean off its hips. Your eyes were glowing with the rage of battle, but even in this enraged state, you could smile at the man who had warned you. Conner was not from your world, but he had fought by your side nonetheless. As long as you were here, it was his home too and he would defend it until his dying breath. 

“I will hold them off, do what you have to,” Conner called from where he was fighting off six pawns at once. Were the lives of your people not endangered, you might have marvelled at his strength and prowess in battle, but time was running out. 

“I will come back,” you assured him. When your eyes met briefly, you could see he was as sure as you were of that promise. You lifted your arm to access the control panel of your armour. “I love you,” you added, just in case, before activating the anti-gravity matrix. Your feet floated off the ground and soon after, the thrusters were taking you up the tower. 

Heavy grey clouds circled the tower, lighting and acid rain protecting the general of the invaders. Your armour was maintaining its integrity through it. It seemed an eternity ago that the structure descended from the sky, bringing trouble with it, but today would be the day you’d make it fall. 

The structure rumbled as you landed on the platform on the rooftop. “Your trespassing ends today!” You roared as you came face to face with the alien that had been in your nightmares for the past years. You were not the same since the first time you were face-to-face with all those eight eyes. You could feel the changes in your body, the power granted by your ancestors rushed through your veins and vibrated through your bones. 

A demonic laugh made the air tremble around you. As the brute hollered in your face, you got a clear view of their three rows of sharp teeth. “It seems the princess has learned how to hold a sword. You really think pretending to be a boy is enough to stop me?” You clenched your teeth, your rage fuelling your sword. Blue flames engulfed the hard-light, illuminating the space between the grey clouds in a cyan glow. 

“The ancestors have granted me my true form and I am about to give you your final one!” You bellowed, before lunging at them. Your sword was like lighting between the clouds. The grief of war and desire for it all to be over burned in your heart. Your foe had underestimated you, but after you cut one of their many limbs off, they were sure to not make that mistake again. Even as your blood mixed with the rain, your energy never faded. 

The battle seemed to drag on forever. You thought you had them cornered, when a limb you had not accounted for seemingly came out of nowhere and knocked your sword out of your hands. The temporary confusion was enough for your nemesis to fling you across the rooftop. You ended up on your back, sliding across the wet roof to the edge. You dug your gloved hand into the floor, slowing yourself down just in time, head already hanging off the edge. 

The heavily wounded beast closed the distance between you, a heavy foot ending up on your torso. You clawed at their ankle, trying to free yourself as they loomed over you. They lowered their monstrous face, a smug look taunting you. “Your ancestors have failed you, little princess,” they snickered as they slowly shoved you more and more off the edge. 

“Fortunately, the king still has a boyfriend!” Instant relief washed over you as you heard the voice, before Conner dashed from below, punching the monster right in their face. They stumbled backwards, giving you the window of opportunity that you needed to get back up your feet. Conner called your name, before tossing you your sword. He was wrestling with the general right after. You caught your weapon mid-air, waiting for Conner to make the beast’s back face you. As soon as it did, you dashed forward, delivering the final blow. There were no last words, just a rumbling scream and then the dark clouds thinned out. The light of your two suns broke through the sky, signalling your people that it was done; it was over; they were free. 

You sighed and collapsed onto the wet roof, the glow in your eyes dying out as exhaustion took over. Conner flew you down to a healer. The people celebrated that night, but you were quick to retreat to your chambers. It smelled weird after not having been used for years, but it was all still intact. You had gotten rid of half your clothes and collapsed on your bed. 

“Can I come in?” You heard Conner through the door. You shouted for him to come in. His warm laugh filled your ears, when he saw you. “After today, I don’t blame you for resting, but you’re missing a great party,” he spoke with amusement in his voice. You groaned and rolled over, now lying face down on the soft sheets. You felt a weight dip the mattress beside you. “Allow me to help,” Conner whispered, before his warm fingers helped you out of the rest of your clothes. 

You used to dread being naked, but in this new body your ancestors gave you to fight the invaders, you looked forward to being naked around your lover. His hands were still on you, pressing in the knots in your back. It was not that good of a massage with dry hands, but you relaxed anyway. 

His touch lingered at your waist and you spread your legs a little in reply. His lips gently kissed your back as his hand travelled between your legs. You lifted your hips a little so he had all the access he needed. Conner rubbed you in all the right places, turning you into a dripping mess. “On all fours,” he whispered against your shoulder. After you complied, a free hand started toying with your nipples. He used your juices to lube up your ass and his cock. 

You moaned as his fingers entered your hole. You hadn’t realised you were leaking so much that it could be such a smooth slide. With hooded eyes, you stared over your shoulder, watching his concentrated face. Then you saw that Conner was leaking as well. He had stopped playing with your nipples and was stroking himself instead. His gorgeous cock spilled precum all over your hole that his fingers pushed inside. "I'm ready," you sighed between small whimpers of pleasure. 

Conner pulled you up to your knees. He was behind you, holding his cock in place as you sunk your down on him. You moaned in relief as you finally felt him inside you. When you got too eager and tried to sink down faster, Conner held you in place. It was maddingly slow, but eventually you found your ass resting on his thighs. Conner's fingers rubbed you again, making sure you felt pleasure everywhere. "Come on, start moving," he encouraged you. You couldn't move much in this position, but Conner helped you with gentle thrusts. Your bare back connected to his chest. His moans were audible right next to your ear. 

"Please, Conner, I'm so sore from today," you whimpered as your legs started to hurt. Conner pushed you off and manhandled you onto your back. You reached out for him and he immediately returned to your arms, kissing you deeply, while lifting your legs and wrapping them around his waist. Your lips stayed close to each other as he re-entered you. Your moans mixed between your mouths, his every thrust drawing another sound from your body. "Don't draw this out. I just want to cum," you huffed. Conner chuckled against your lips. You would never get tired of that sound. 

"Of course, my king," he joked, before pulling out. You groaned and tried to coax him back inside, but instead his head dipped down and before you knew it, he was licking and sucking you as if he needed you to cum just as badly as you needed it. You almost screamed. Your hand flew to his head and your fingers tangled into his hair. Conner hummed as if a deep need had been fulfilled. Two fingers entered you and with the right curl of his fingers, you could feel your orgasm crash through your whole body. 

Conner made sure you got the pleasure you sought and then laid you down on your side. He spooned you, putting his cock back inside as he did so. "Now rest, my king," he whispered into your ear, before pulling the covers over you. You smiled, enjoying having him still hard inside you. You drifted off into peaceful sleep, knowing that when you would wake, your people would be safe and you'd get the dicking of your life. 

[ghysry]

okay but i seriously have been mulling over this for ages and have not voiced it whatsoever but imagine instead of them idk DYING i wouldve killed to have a season where they band together to assassinate their dad lols and redo everything so they end up great and alive and in their own timeline where the apocalypse never happened and vanya got her violin first chair fairly with christmas dinners and celebrations together andUGH

Saw the first and second part of your ask (if I'm certain that's the first and second part) and I think it's a pretty good idea (+ Angst easily flocks to us🙏)

Tagsies: FIVE ANGST....No reader insert for this one folks.

Diego & Five sibling fluff at the very end guys trust trust me it's not heartbreaking at all

---------------------------------------------------

"Do you know who we are? Do you want to know who I am?"

It's a strange thing; his family. He doesn't know exactly what they are to him, well, no, he does - they're his family, the people he bared through the apocalypse for, the people he now rarely sees on Sundays. They agreed to it before, always meeting up on Sundays under the big old oak forest that replaced the daunting mansion they grew up in across different timelines. First, Viktor cancelled his plans sometimes, then always, then they rarely saw his face around anymore. Not that they blamed him, not really, all of them did it too. One by one, they'd cherry pick the best times to cancel their plans and make up varyingly worrying excuses on how they wouldn't make it to the outing this time, or next time, or ever.

Five likes to think he doesn't ask for a lot, he likes to think he doesn't ask for anything at all. Never once in his life, after the first time he asked for something, did he ever do it again. Because what he asked for was freedom, and when he first did he was thirteen. He came back to the present as a fifty-eight year old man stuck in a teen body, with a vow to never ever even think about asking for something, so when he felt the ever growing hole in his chest consume him whole and collapse into his chest when one by one his siblings kept cancelling, he kept his mouth shut and went to the big oak forest on his own. Sometimes he feels childish, because instead of growing up and compartmentalizing it like he always does, this time he solves it by curling up under a tree and trying to silence the world with a shut of both his eyes.

He also likes to think he blames his father for everything that happened. But he doesn't - not that he can't, he does have the ability to, and he should; that much he knows, but he won't. He carries the blame for everything that happened on his shoulders, and every little mistake goes straight into the ever growing black hole in his chest that has already consumed him. He can't blame his siblings, they act the way they act because of their father, but he can blame himself. He, of course, had the least problems out of all of them, just going through an apocalypse, being turned into a human weapon, hunting down and killing thousands of people..it doesn't phase him, not one bit. So why does this phase him?

Where'd all his siblings go?

It felt like they ran away from him. Blinked out of his life and got stuck in their own personal future where they have families to take care of and friends to meet up with, so he also buried himself in work, found a good job that accepted his face and appearance along with his skills, stopped visiting the oak tree, stopped curling underneath it, stopped asking where his siblings went; he was making progress. He thought. The good kind of progress where you're changing the world for good and all. He made friends, kind of. He'd rather stick to co-workers than calling them friends, but he talks to them and they talk to him so the world feels a little less lonely but it doesn't feel enough, either.

Now, surrounded by his siblings, he could stop asking where they went. The first thing he noticed was a scent in the longue they sat in, acorn, burns to smell, artificial. He's sure acorns don't smell like that, he's tried to eat plenty when he was in the apocalypse - it never worked. The only reason they were together again was because, against all conventional means, they needed to kill their dad and Five told them it would save the world. The wandering eyes convey a story, like they've definitely played this play before, heard this tune before, seen the show..they get it, no matter how many metaphors Klaus has to say to try and brighten up the room. Five is just glad they didn't bring any of their kids here, the look on his siblings faces was daunting.

Five, out of anyone, would know that his siblings, though they do blame their father, cannot kill him. No, the twitching in their hands and the sideways look they give to the plant in the corner trying to avoid the topic says so, it's loud, embarrassingly loud - so he comes to one conclusion. He kills the father, it ends. When he planned it out, it honestly felt better in his imagination, the bloodshed, finally killing the man who has plagued his siblings for so long, finally freeing them of their abuser, but for some reason it didn't. It just felt worse, and worse, and worse. Every time he looked down at his hands he'd see the blood, the blood of his father, the blood of the man who was supposed to raise his siblings,

Of the man who was supposed to raise him.

He sat on the edge of the chair this time, hair tussled with restlessness, eyes almost blurry from having stayed up so long, for so late, for how long? He doesn't remember, nor does he really care. He's been spiraling for days and he feels his insides turning out and his lungs expanding when he exhales - his hands are too still, too still, there's too much blood, too much, and there's someone behind him, and..

"Five?" Diego's voice rang out in his head, he takes a pause to acknowledge it, trying to figure out if it's actually his brother calling out to him or just a projection inside his head that feels too real. The hand on his shoulder and the jolt causing him to jump up only slightly, though, further proved his hypothesis - yeah, it's Diego. He doesn't respond, not yet at least, he has to try and come up with a reason as to why he's been staring at his feet and his hands for hours now, and why he jumped at the feeling of someone's hand on his shoulder. He doesn't feel real yet and it's troubling him, like a big cinder block has made it's way to the black hole in his chest but somehow, even with all his calculations about this kind of problem, the cinder block manages not to get sucked in, and instead of a hollow feeling, there's just something weighing on his chest and his ribs this time.

And Diego, instead of waiting for an answer, takes his time to slowly but surely wrap his arms around his brother. "It's okay, I know," does he? "I know." He does.

[flowery-laser-blasts]

I guess at one point he did feel bad about how he treat Drew but since he was his daughter’s arch foe he felt he couldn’t reestablish his friendship since. Maybe he might try to make amends once Kim decides he wasn’t her enemy anymore.

I'm not entirely sure if there was a friendship to begin with nor that James considered Kim at all in this regard. It's about him. James, like Drakken, has a big ego and he is both childish as competitive. The latter two don't have to be all that bad but it adds into the whole thing.

"Well, you know, Kimmie, back when I was in college, I had a group of friends, my posse, if you will."

In the context that James starts with, yes: Drew is part of the friend group, but what dynamic/hierarchy does this friend group have? Sadly, some 'friend groups' have a person that ends up being the butt of a joke or the errand boy and I feel like Drew fits this glove.

"In those days, I wasn't exactly a ladies man."

Yeah, okay and so James relied on someone else (Drew) to do it for him. Drew might've been the one to suggest getting them dates, but none of them thought to just... Idk, come with him? Or ask more???

"Hmph. What did you expect? He cannot even come through with a date for himself."

Oh shut the fuck up Ramesh, as if you could do any better. Sure you have a right to be disappointed, but if you didn't have faith in Drew then why go through with it and wait? You could've gone out of your way to secure your own date but no.

To me, this shows that ALL of them have (and always had) no expectations of Drew because none of them defends him. No one goes against Ramesh: "Oh don't be like that, it's nice that he suggested it" or "Maybe we should've all gone with him" OR ANYTHING; They all silently agree instead. What kind of friend group is that? Sure you might have your own insecurities but it's easier to blame it on someone else right?

"Drew dropped out and we never saw him again. I don't think he ever forgave us, and in some small way, maybe we never forgave ourselves."

"For just a giggle fit?"

"No, no, Kimmie. We laughed for days. Long and loud, with youthful abandon."

This, right here, makes my blood boil. The sudden change in James' tone of voice. He goes from regret and shame to telling Kim that he made fun of a guy for days while smiling and chuckling. Could this be a nervous response? Maybe, but if that were the case I would've expected it to be delivered differently. To me this sounds like James recalled the memory fondly. In the "boys will be boys" kind of vibe, yuck. I also think that there was way more going on prior to the Bebe situation but the Bebe situation is a personal attack for Drew and the final straw because he LOVES android type of robots (he perfected Bebe and the Synthodrones after all).

"Poor Drew. Maybe if we hadn't laughed at him back then, there would be one less mad scientist running around."

Way to go sounding 'wise' at the end there. You guys were still laughing at him WHILE TWO OF THE TREE WERE CAPTURED??? HELLO??? AM I MISSING SOMETHING? HOW DO YOU PINGPONG FROM TAUNTING THE MAN TO "Alas, sadly there's nothing we can do anymore. That wicked villain is beyond helping".

You can FUCKING APOLOGISE JAMES. Show, in front of your daughter, that you've LEARNED from your mistakes and that you ARE the better man. Drakken doesn't have to accept your apology, but at the very least it shows that you have changed and matured into a better version of yourself! Your two lapdog friends surely would follow you if you made the first step.

"Maybe we never forgave ourselves" Fucking BOO-HOO James. When in this entire series did this ever happen. He's NEVER shown to have actual regrets regarding Drakken. James is too prideful for that.

Oh yeah, he did once WHEN HE WASN'T INVITED TO THE COWBOY PARTY. And the ONLY reason he was upset IS BECAUSE HE WASN'T INVITED AND THAT HURT HIS EGO.

I believe that the only reasons he says that he regrets the Drew situation is to 1. Make himself look better in front of his daughter and 2. Make Kim feel like she has to give Ron, an actual friend, a chance. Otherwise she might actually feel bad.

Last but not least:

"My teenage daughter is not afraid of you. Why should I be, Drew?"

"I hate it when you call me that! I am not the man you knew in college, Possible."

"Still can't get a date, though, I bet."

James is captured and tied up. He's still pushing Drakken's buttons. Maybe this is how he responds when he's nervous? I doubt it. James, despite his situation, probably still feels like he has the upper hand and that his daughter will save him before anything happens. Good wins over bad, right? James never had any regrets because: Drakken being a villain (that keeps on failing and losing from his teenage daughter) confirms to James that Drew Lipsky was a bad person anyway and making fun of him therefore has been excused.

Maybe I'm biased and blame James way too hard because of my own bad experience with fake friends who treated me like trash and maybe I excuse Drew too easily, because I too was overly passionate about things and had a dire, almost desperate need to belong to a clique.

I can't tell you what the average guy friend groups are like, so maybe that plays a role as well. I only know one of them (all a bunch of nerds in different geeky fields) and they seem healthy.

But like, James is an adult. He can make adult decisions. That's all I got to add to it.

[thebindingofpillo]

Heaven, Hell and everything in between!! As usual I did not proofread any of this, so if you find any mistakes you have full permission to execute me uwu and if you ever need some claryfications I am always ready to answer some asks!!

Anyway, this is the RAU universe. The RAUniverse, if you will. We have Earth, Heaven, Hell and the Void (which is not a really-real dimension but we’ll worry about that later). Every dimension exists as separated from the others. There are ways for angels, demons and human souls to travel from dimension to dimension, but these are few and far between (and I’ll explain better later, in the Bridge section). Every single dimension was created by God, even Hell.

Earth (a.k.a. our dimension)

Humans live here. The physical plane basically. Created by God, as well as everything else. Not really much to say about this! It’s the world as we know it, with all its good and bad. Note: the name Earth does not mean that only the Earth is part of the physical realm! Space and places outside planet Earth also count. You will not reach Heaven by going really high up into the sky, sorry :(

Heaven

Very nice place. It has three tiers, one reserved for humans, one for angels and one for God. At the center of Heaven there is the Garden of Eden, uprooted by God and then placed into a different dimension after Eden (the angel) deserted their post on Earth. To this day, Eden has no idea that the Garden has been transplanted into Heaven (they could know of they wanted to, because they’re omniscient, but they’re actively refusing to think about the Garden at the moment), but that’s not really important here.

Human tier When a human dies, their soul crosses the Bridge (more on that later) and if they’re considered worthy they end up in Heaven. The human parto of heaven is pretty neat, even if I’m still a bit short on the imagination side. I liked the idea from Supernatural where people constantly relive the best day of their lives but idk seems a bit too boring. The basic idea is that Heaven is a place where humans feel their best all the time. If they were plagued by illness, now they’re hale. Everyone is living again in the best possible version of themselves (with like, some caveats, like if your ideal version of self is a furry then tough luck sorry). But yeah, Heaven is the bestest place in the universe where you can bask in God’s light and grace until the end of days. Humans cannot travel through the tiers -- this was put in place by God once he uprooted the Garden, He made it impossible for humans to access it and even put a whole tier of angels between it and humanity for good measure — but that’s not really a problem since heaven is pretty nifty. It is possible, however, to visit other people in the human sphere! So you can always hang out with your pals. The only human who can travel to the Garden is Enoch/Metatron, and that’s just because he was turned into an angel when he ascended.

Angel tier Angels live here. It’s kinda like a city (the Silver city??) but angels don’t really spend a lot of time here, they’re always moving in and out of the various spheres to do God’s bidding, fight demons, and other cool stuff. While humans are confined to the outer sphere, angels can freely travel through all the different layers of heaven, and access the garden, and converse with God directly. While angels do not need rest in a physical sense, it’s always nice to have a little place for themselves where they can wind down after a long century of work. I am still not sure about the design of the city itself (I kinda thought of it like a giant hive suspended in the clouds). Each angel has their own little cell but they can visit eachother.

The Garden of Eden (God is here) The innermost tier of Heaven. Before the Garden, only God lived here, sitting on a throne and surrounded by His angels. The Garden was on Earth before (hidden in a long lost valley, surrounded by very high mountains I think), but after Eden dipped to go live with humanity, God didn’t want anyone stumbling onto the Garden by mistake, and instead of sending another angel to pick up Eden’s slack, He decided to just pack everything and take it home, where He could watch over it Himself. His throne is still somewhere in the Garden, but God is much less inclined to sit on it lately, deeply preferring spending time tending to the plants, keeping them nice for the eventual return of humanity. When’s that exactly supposed to happen? Nobody knows, not even his closest advisors. Not even Apollyon. If asked, the Great Creative will just say that He’s waiting for humanity to “prove itself worthy again” but nobody really knows what that means. Anyway the Garden is b i g. It’s more like a beautiful lush forest rather than a garden, where the trees always give fruit and the animals never attack humans. Everyone lives in peace and harmony, it truly is the bestest place in the universe. The human layer of Heaven is already the best place in the universe but in the Garden humanity will reach a higher state of existence (the details are still fuzzy tho, I need to figure out stuff).

Hell

Hell actually started as an empty place to house human souls who were not worthy of Heaven. It was basically a dark, cold desert, stretching on into infinity. Literally nothing in it but darkness and cold, it was the furthest place away from God’s grace. It began to change only when Lucifer fell. With him, came the rest of the fallen angels and the thing rapidly devolved into a shitshow. Soon the fallens started torturing humans, discovered the power of the human soul, eventually the place became the fiery pit of suffering we know today. Important to keep in mind: Lucifer and his minions are NOT punishing humans. In God’s mind, being far from Heaven is enough punishment for humanity. Demons however, either hate humans (the most perfect of God’s creations), need human souls for power, or straight up do not care about them at all. Most demons either use humans are sustenance or guinea pigs to torture. Slightly more than animals.

Human tier This tier is the closest to what Hell looked like before the demons came. It’s a rocky, endless land, devoid of light, shelter and anything that’s even remotely good. The only difference between this and the “old” Hell is the temperature: now the desolate desert inhabited by humans is scorching hot, warmed by billions of fires lit by demons and fallen angels. There is no repose for humans here, every waking moment is spent trying to escape demons or being tortured by them. Time is also pretty fucky in Hell, especially for humans! A single day on Earth can last a lifetime in Hell. Demons and fallen angels aren’t really affected by this (especially the most powerful ones) but humans can easily lose themselves in this. Humans in Hell could theoretically travel between the different layers, but nobody really wants to because Hell is shit and there’s demons everywhere. The demons that concentrate in the outer layer are the less sapient ones, little more than beasts roaming the lands and slaying human souls whenever they find them.

Demon tier A great sprawling city, absolutely chaotic, growing ever bigger with no rhyme or reason, as its inhabitants try to constantly expand their influence beyond its borders. Demons (and fallens) usually stay here but they’re capable of travelling between the various layers of hell, and they do so quite frequently to bother humans. Not so much to bother Lucifer though, he lives pretty isolated in the middle of Hell. Not that he minds. Anyway, the middle tier is where most of the action happens. Intrigues, backstabbings, alliances, they all happen here. Demons generally don’t like one another, so they’re always trying to kill eachother and gather more power. I guess humans-turned-demons also stay in this city, but I don’t really know if they even exist at this point. I’ll need to think about it.

Lake of ice (Lucifer is here) Innermost layer of Hell. It is said that after being cast out of heaven, Lucifer’s fall was so terribile that he got stuck into the ground, and that’s why he cannot move from the center of Hell. Despite the rest of his kingdom being a fiery inferno, the devil sits there embedded in a completely frozen lake, the ice reaching up to his chest. He cannot move or leave the place, but his Aspects (Satan, the Fallen etc. are kinda like his avatars) can move freely to get shit done for him. IMPORTANT: Satan, Lucifer and Fallen are essentially the same person. They’re kinda like a hive mind, with Lucifer controlling their bodies, but that’s not super important here. As said before, the center of hell is completely frozen over. Not even the fires from the demon city can reach there, in fact, demons actively refuse to come near their boss. Not that he minds, Lucifer doesn’t really feel the need for company, and through his Aspects he can perceive/feel whatever he needs. The city actually seems to move further and further away from him, with the oldest buildings constantly being abandoned in favour of newer ones further out. There’s not really much to say about here! It sucks. The only thing that could be considered “living” is Lucifer’s body, and that’s not really doing much anyway. I will say tho. When Judas went to hell (because he did) he ended up here. I’ll let you ruminate on that one.

The Bridge

There are multiple passages to traverse the Void but The Bridge is by far the safest one. That’s why it’s reserved to human souls! Constantly patrolled by angels, no demon could ever hope to get close to this place. When a human dies, their soul (made by god) gains access to the godly dimension thanks to their guardian angel reporting back to Azrael (archangel of Death) so that they can pass on. This process is almost immediate. Once dead, the souls finds itself at The Bridge. Which is exactly what it is, it’s a bridge baby! Souls need to cross it to get to heaven BUT the Bridge itself is a little finicky. The Bridge is a reflection of the human that will cross it, and it can drastically change in length and form. Eg: A virtuous soul’s bridge will be on the shorter side, look and feel like a normal bridge. A bad person’s bridge can stretch on into infinity, feel more unstable and maybe even be painful to cross. The Bridge can be made of fire, or blades, it can be a single rope dangling over the abyss, very easy to fall from. If a human soul falls from the bridge (it happens! Especially with very evil people, or the ones who think they don’t deserve heaven) they will end up in Hell. Someone might even choose to not cross the bridge at all and jump directly into Hell. So far, only Judas did. His guilt was so big that the Bridge didn’t even manifest. Time is also fucky in here too! A Bridge can be crossed in mere minutes or take years (even centuries!). Now, The Bridge is not the only way to travel through the Void! There are multiple passages on Earth, in Hell and Heaven, but they’re not as safe or guarded as the Bridge, and sometimes they might close or end up nowhere at all. The position of these passages is kept strictly secret, especially the ones that end in Hell, so that angels can use them to spy on demons. Using these passages takes a lot of energy too, so usually only the most powerful angels/demons can travel through the Void without problem. Travelling through the Void outside of the Bridge can be extremely fast or incredibly slow. It depends on how powerful the angel/demon is - Michael can blink through the Void in less than a second, while a less powerful angel could take more time. Very powerful angels/ demons can even create passages themselves! Another way the humans can travel through the Void is by falling off the Bridge, when they end up in hell. This passage is also guarded by angels and ends up at the Bridge anyway, so demons don’t really try to use it.

The Void

Okay the Void it’s pretty difficult to explain. It’s basically a big nothing into which all the dimensions float (kinda) and there’s absolutely nothing in it. While the other dimensions are, the Void is not. Like all the other dimensions, it is infinite, and occupies every space between Earth, Heaven and Hell, however big or small it may be. It’s not like the Abyss (that’s inside Apollyon) where all the residues of previous Creations are crammed inside a writhing to be let out, the Void is still. There’s absolutely nothing here to writhe, it’s a completely inert space. Or rather, there should be nothing. Something is stirring in the depths of nothingness, but nobody (just God Himself and Semjaza) really knows about it. That something is Delirium, although in the AU it doesn’t really have a name.

Delirium This might change in the future because it’s still a bit fuzzy around the edges, but basically Delirium is like a huge blob of unimaginable proportions that lurks inside the Void. It’s not sentient, or at least doesn’t have any real thoughts aside from existing in the Void and consuming to survive. Everything it touches gets destroyed and made into more Delirium, but in the Void there’s really nothing to touch so it just folds onto itself forever, not really doing anything. How did Delirium come to be? This part at least is decided: God’s Power of Creation is so strong that it reverberates through all dimensions, even the Void, bringing life where life shouldn’t exist (this is also why Lazarus keeps coming back: he was brought back to life by God, and His power is so big Lazarus’ soul can never stay dead). Delirium is basically the result of eons and eons of God making and remaking the universe: all that residual energy is still present, kinda like the Big Bang radiations. Important to note: Creation is a cycle! Gods makes the universe and then with the Apocalypse He resets everything and makes a new universe from scratch. The remains of the previous universe are locked in the Abyss (which is different from the Void!) inside Apollyon. Delirium is not any of these remains, it’s a completely new life form that was born out of the energy God uses to make and remake the universe over the millennia.

[cowgurrrl]

I’m sorry. I am simply obsessed with rockstar!joel with crackhead twins. There is something about this hot dude in his 50s with a bad back having to raise two wild gremlins who like to gnaw on the table leg!? You know what I mean. Could I please request a cute fic where Joel is just super exhausted and feels like he is maybe not up tot he task, I don’t know maybe the girls are like in their chaos 2 year old stage. After a long day of them not being interested in him at all and him just feeling super insecure he resorts to strumming my girl on his guitar and they are just mesmerized by their dad?! Idk like the music is the moment the turn into sweet little mushy angels again? Sorry that was super long, anyway love yah.

Thank you for the request 🥺🥺 ily2 and I love that a general consensus has been reached that the twins are batshit crazy as toddlers and Sam is just a Perfect Baby Angel

My Girls

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x fem!reader

Summary: Joel braves the first of many Sophia and Violet days [1.6k]

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy and the foster care system, Joel being a DILF, that’s it

It's debated on what's harder: going from no kids to one kid or one kid to two kids. You honestly don't have a lot of skin in the game when it comes to the question because Sarah and Ellie were teenagers when you met Joel. Even then, Sarah was fourteen when Ellie came into their lives and sixteen by the time the adoption paperwork was approved. You thought going from two to three with the birth of Sam would be hard, and it was, but Sam was an amazing baby. He always wanted to cuddle, followed the rules almost to a fault, and rarely threw tantrums. He's the kid that made you think, "Oh, yeah. We could totally do this again." Sophia and Violet, however, have given you a run for your money from the moment you found out you were having twins, and two years later, they haven't stopped. 

True to form, once the girls turn two, you go back to work. Joel is accommodating because, of course, he is. He realizes you put your career on pause for almost two and a half years (if you count the mandated bed rest your doctor put you on at 32 weeks) and is more than happy to let you go and do your thing. He'd been a single dad with no help to a kid before. What's thirty years and a couple extra littles running around? As it turns out, a lot.

The day you return to set, this time as a director instead of an actor, the girls spend the first hour without you crying. Sam, being six and used to his parents' routine, is seemingly unfazed and continues watching Bluey and munching on his breakfast. Sophia and Violet bang on the door, scream and refuse to let Joel even talk to them, let alone pick them up to comfort them. They fight him the entire way to the car to get Sammy to school on time and then cry even harder because "Bammy's going to school." Joel can normally soothe his girls without any issue, but they didn't sleep well the night before and have been wound up all morning. 

When he got home with them, they demanded a snack, but they had to be different because twins. Then, Sophia collapsed in a heap on the floor because Joel peeled her banana for her instead of letting her do it (rookie mistake). The toddler dramatics sent Daisy into action to remedy the situation, which made Violet scream in protest because she suddenly decided she hates when Daisy licks her or anybody for that matter. Poor Daisy didn't know what to do besides scamper off to her bed and watch Joel struggle with big, sad eyes. Then came the drama of what game to play: Princess Tea Party or Princess Dinosaurs, which caused another explosion of unregulated emotions. By the time noon rolls around, he's staring at his phone as he tries to decide whether or not to call you. 

If there's one thing Joel Miller hates more than admitting defeat, it's seeing his kids upset. Everything he tries to do only upsets the girls more and makes him question his parenting skills. How the fuck did you do this for two years? Sure, the kids had their days, but the only time you ever sent him an SOS at work was when Violet had an asthma attack and ended up in the emergency room. Even then, you got all three kids in the car and to the hospital without help. You're a fucking force when it comes to taking care of the kids, and right now, he feels like the worst dad on the planet. After a quick cry in the pantry, while the girls watched Encanto for the umpteenth time and ate lunch, he takes a deep breath and decides he can handle a few more hours. 

With a little more fuss and frustration, he gets Daisy on a leash and the girls in a stroller and walks them down to the neighborhood playground. The change of scenery and the sunshine put the girls in a much better mood. For a blissful hour, the girls run around and play and giggle without a care in the world. Joel does everything from pushing them on the swings to going down the slide with them to letting them play with Daisy off-leash. They have fun until the dreaded hour of nap time creeps up on them. 

Thankfully, the girls (Daisy included) are tired from their adventures on the playground and start the journey home reluctantly. It's getting them to actually go to sleep that's the issue. Every time he tries to leave their room, one of them calls out the saddest "Daddy" he's ever heard in his entire life, and he turns right back around. And it would be fine if his presence wasn't enough to keep the girls awake. He knows that if the girls don't nap, it will only make the day longer and worse for everyone. He sits on the floor between their two beds and tucks a curl behind Violet's ear.

"C'mon Vi Pie, you guys gotta close your eyes and nap," he says quietly. "What can I do to get you to sleep?"

"Call Mommy?" Violet suggests, and he tsks. 

"Honey, you know Mommy's working, but she loves you, and she's gonna be home real soon, okay?" As he speaks, he can see the tears welling in Violet's big brown eyes and turns to see the same tears in Sophia's identical ones. "No. No, please don't cry. Please. You're gonna break my heart." He begs. "What can I do to get you to stop cryin', huh? Y'know, when you two were babies, I used to just hold the both of you and sway and sing to ya and…" he trails off as his eyes land on Ellie's old guitar resting against the wall of the girls' room. She gave it to them when she got her new one and told them they could use it to practice. They don't really do much more than pull at the strings and turn the tuning knobs, but they'll learn. 

He pulls himself up, his knees cracking as he does, and walks over to where the guitar sits. After some tuning and quiet adjustments, he sits on the edge of Sophia's bed and smiles at the two little girls staring at him with sleepy eyes. "Now, I haven't played this one in a while, so you be nice to your old man, but I used to play this for Sarah all the time when she was y'all's age." He says as his fingers find the chords. The girls are enraptured as Joel plays a quiet rendition of My Girl by The Temptations. He changes the lyrics to "My girls/talkin' bout my girls," and they smile as his southern drawl fills the room with warmth and serenity. 

He notices their eyes getting heavier and their blinks getting a little longer each time, so he continues. "I don't need no money/ fortune or fame/ I got all the riches baby/ one man can claim/ well I guess you'd say/'What can make me feel this way?'/ my girls." He sings softly, his own eyes getting heavy with emotion as he thinks a little too hard about the lyrics. It doesn't help that the girls look just like you when they fall asleep. Joel has to cut himself off with a guitar riff to keep his voice from cracking and disrupting the girls. 

He plays another song or two just to make sure they're fully asleep before he carefully puts the guitar down and tucks his girls in. "Love you, Soph a Loaf," he whispers as he kisses Sophia's head. He repeats his actions at the other bed with a gentle, "Love you, Vi Pie," before tiptoeing out of the room. On the other side of the scribbled-on door sits Daisy with a smile on her face as she looks up at Joel. He smiles back and pets her head. 

"My girls." He sings to her, too, making her lean into his touch lovingly and stick close to him even when he goes back downstairs to let the girls rest. 

"Did you write a new song?" You ask that weekend when all the kids are down for the night, and Joel gives you a confused look.

"Not that I know of. Why?" He asks, and you shrug. 

"The girls asked if they could listen to 'Daddy's new song.'” You say. He chuckles and shakes his head. 

"D'you remember the song I used to sing when you were pregnant with the girls?" 

"Of course I do. It was the only way they'd settle down…" You extend your vowels as the connection sparks in your brain. 

"It was the only way I could get 'em to nap earlier this week. Played it on Ellie's guitar and everythin'." He says simply, and you take a deep breath as you stare at him. He's wearing a shirt Ellie helped design to raise money for kids in foster care, but it's stained with nail polish from when the girls decided he needed a manicure before he could play baseball with Sam in the backyard. He took it all in stride and didn't flinch at any of the insane requests your kids threw at him. You sigh and peel your eyes away from him. 

"It's really not fair how good of a dad you are," you sigh. "It's annoyingly hot." He smiles and kisses your cheek smugly. 

"Sorry." 

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha

[the-way-astray]

No pressure for the Anti Keefe Sencen Rant 2-I know it's going to be absolutely delicious and chef's kiss if you take the time you need and then release it. I'm so looking forward to it. No pressure, though, I swear!

Uh this was meant to be like a comforting and motivational post at the same time. Seriously, just feel good ok

ooh, it's nice to know people are still interested, even though i'm pretty sure it's been a while since the first one came out in . . . july? idk lmfao.

don't worry . . . this seems comforting and motivational. the secret project is sucking up all my kotlc-stuff time currently, but i'll likely be able to go back to the rant after i finish that (why am i always working on something kotlc-related . . . )

anyway. since you seem eager and i'm apparently handing these out like hershey's kisses, have yet another excerpt from the part two rant (i posted one already, in case you haven't seen it). subject to change and being cut and whatnot but. whatever:

“The pounding didn’t mean anything, by the way. That’s why he didn’t bother mentioning it. Of course he had a headache! His mom had just tried to kill him—again!” (541) What in the logical fallacies is this???? Just because you know what caused your headache, doesn’t mean it will magically go away???? I’m so genuinely confused as to what Shannon is attempting to achieve here. Is she trying to make us annoyed with Keefe? Keefe then proceeds to refuse good medical advice for over twenty pages. In case you thought he grew or developed at all from the Nightfall incident.

“Okay, fine—he wasn’t in the mood to hear about all of the mistakes he’d caused everybody to make, because his brilliant plan had turned out to be a little less-than-brilliant.” (543) In case you think this is character development, it’s not. Keefe is only sorry that he caused them to make mistakes, he’s very noticeably not sorry that he screwed over the entire plan by doing the one thing everyone told him not to do, which is what he should be sorry for. He’s not sorry for his arrogance in thinking the group would need him. When I first heard that Unlocked was going to be told half from Keefe’s perspective, I thought we would get an explanation for why (because, like I said, the reason he gives in Legacy for coming to Loamnore makes no sense at all). Why did he come to Loamnore, even when specifically warned not to and agreeing? I was super intrigued and thought Shannon would surprise us with a very specific reason. But I guess my standards were too high because this book does not talk about Loamnore at all past this chapter and the next. That’s literally it. Certainly, we don’t get a specific reason as to why Keefe decided to throw a good plan down the drain and override it with his own. It’s like Shannon completely forgot about the last book’s climax’s consequences.

“Apparently, he shared the Really-Bad-at-Scheming gene with his mom.” (543) His mom’s not bad at scheming, though. Not even close. (At least, not until some . . . choices were made in Stellarlune.) Keefe’s bad at scheming. Keefe. Not this mom. Keefe. Let me remind you that he threw away the entire point of his side’s plan when he showed up at Loamnore, even though he fully knew what his mom was trying to do. Meanwhile, his mom has been thoroughly, intricately, and meticulously crafting and refining her plan for years. Keefe rushes into everything with no thought. Gisela’s actually a pretty good planner. But again, Keefe is so arrogant that, to this day, he still underestimates his mom, even after she’s gotten the better of him time and time again. You’d think he would’ve stopped being stupid and learned by now . . . 

“Though . . . maybe if she hadn’t had to do that, his mom wouldn’t have escaped. There was no way to know, so it was probably better not to wonder about it.” (544) Keefe just . . . brushes right past what should be a serious stop-and-think moment for him. He, once again, hijacked a shared plan and ruined it because . . . genuinely, I do not know. Like I said, I thought the reason Keefe gave at the end of Legacy was a cover-up for some deeper reason he didn’t want to tell Sophie that would make it all make more sense, but that’s not at all true. Anyway I’ll shut up about that now and talk about this quote. Keefe should be doing some serious reflection right now. Again, if you think he developed from the Nightfall scene at all, I hope you can see why it’s very clear he didn’t learn anything of actual value. He just said what Sophie wanted to hear and they breezed past it. He did not actually learn or change from that scene. Once again, he refuses to blame himself for problems that are actually his fault, yet beats himself up over ones that aren’t. Those false problems are then used to attract a great deal of pity. If Keefe truly believed that he messed everything up, he would not have come to Loamnore and, get this, messed everything up. How are we, the audience, supposed to believe that Keefe feels guilty over everything and beats himself up over everything when he just instantly brushes past something that was one hundred percent his fault? Why is he only ever guilty over things that aren’t his fault, like his mom? It’s to attract sympathy for him without actually putting him in the wrong. 

“He just had to keep fighting and remember that the defeats they’d suffered were . . . mostly a timing issue.” (544) Here, Keefe tries to rationalize his way out and excuse himself of the blame by telling himself it wasn’t his fault. Which is just not true. A lot of the defeats they’ve suffered are a direct result of Keefe’s actions. Here is a list of the things he has screwed up: compromising Alluveterre, giving up his blood, freeing Alvar (which probably wouldn’t have mattered, given the whole Lumenaria thing, but Keefe didn’t know that at the time), being wrong several times about the Neverseen going after Grady and Edaline, giving up the caches and bringing back fakes, giving Sophie the tracker that led the Neverseen to her and Fitz, and now showing up at Loamnore when he was forewarned with good reasons not to. I bet you forgot about at least half this list, because the narrative gives so little accountability to Keefe that large, devastating setbacks are quickly and easily forgiven by the other characters without Keefe facing a modicum of actual consequence. He simply throws a pity party, Sophie wrongfully reassures him none of it’s his fault, and they move on. Once again, I would have no problem with Keefe deflecting the blame off of himself if it was treated as a character flaw by Shannon and if it was more consistent, but neither of those are applicable to Keefe. As for the part where he says he just needs to “keep fighting” . . . oh please, no. Please. Please stop fighting. Please stay out of everything, ever. You would do everyone on your side a massive favor.

I’m not copying down the whole quote, because it’s like three paragraphs, but there’s a brief description of the four (4) elixirs that Elwin made Keefe drink to help him feel better on page 563. So what he’s been fighting for over twenty pages is something that took about a minute to do. He would’ve been free to go immediately if he’d just taken his goddamned medicine. Instead, he had to throw a temper tantrum like a toddler. This is what I mean when I say he’s infuriatingly stupid. How did he not realize that taking his medicine would get him out of the Healing Center faster and less painfully than whining like a pathetic brat? (Okay, so Elwin made Keefe take another dose of headache medicine on page 566. That’s literally it. Just five elixirs.)

[punishing-eden]

So idk if you do smut or taking any request at the moment but if you do can you do Lee where he gets jealous? Like commandant is spending TOO much time with Wanshi being his pillow and all.

Author's Note:

Hi, you can still submit requests,I don't mind doing them from time to time. But rn I am a bit busy irl, so it will take a while for me to finish.

As of right now, I don't write Smut. At most, I could is implications of sexual acts. But not full pornographic details/paragraphs.

But also, a Lee and Wanshi sandwich????!!! 😍😍

I know I said this before, but I will say this again, I really need to get to Echo Aria.😢I have heard about their interaction and, Boi... it's *Chefs kiss*

Edit: aksjakjskaka, I made a huge mistake, it has now been fixed.😭😭

---------------------------------------------------

"Our" (Grey Raven's) Commandant...

Lee (Entropy) x Commandant/reader (ft. Wanshi)

Summary:

Lately, Lee has been experiencing a unique emotion whenever he sees you with another construct, Wanshi. Although, he was convinced it was just some malfunctioning of his M. I. N. D programming. His actions spoke other wise.

Needless to say, Wanshi seems know what was going on.

Tags: Tw: Jealousy, gatekeeping behaviour, request, mild fluff, one shot, a triangle

It started at thirty centimetres. By the time you came back to Babylonia from an earth mission, the proximity, between you and Wanshi shrank by ten.

A week later, it reduced to five, four, three, two, one, all the way to zero. Lee counted the units, whenever he saw you and Wanshi together.

He had been counting, the units on full display in his inner device. Recording the number of times that proximity unit reached to zero. According to his data, it happened more than a 'good' amount.

"I am sorry, but this is 'our' (Grey Raven's) Commandant," he once warned Wanshi, who only looked at Lee with a nonchalant expression. Eyes heavy with fatigue, Wanshi, whom, with a more mature way of thinking, only nodded and ignore Lee's statement. Keeping things civil, Hypnos hummed and walked away.

Without a doubt, it infuriated Lee. Holing up in his room, the construct ruminated in thought, while dismantling his gears. In his mind, you have been spending more time with Strike Hawk. At first, as Lee thought, it was all professional and work related. That was until, he noticed how close you and Wanshi were. A little too close for Lee's comfort.

Needless to say, he began to device preventative measures to bring an end to this madness. Doing everything he could to stop the proximity reaching to Zero. He went as far as to slot himself between you and Wanshi, accompany you everywhere, turning down opportunities of contact on your behalf.

Despite the efforts, he was disheartened. Upset, having spotted you sleeping with Wanshi in the training room.

You were fast asleep against Wanshi's chest cushions, all the while, the construct 'slept' in leisure. The fire arms were laying on the ground, unsupervised, and the scent of gunpowder lingered in the air.

There was a heavy feeling in Lee's chest, a set of emotions ruptured from his M. I. N. D., triggering his physical symptoms.

In denial, Entropy questioned himself. Back tracking through his schedule to see if it was something he did or damaged. Did the construct engineering team replaced the wrong gear? Replenished too much vital fluid?

'I must be overloading', Lee thought to himself.

He didn't say anything but went to carefully picked you up in his arms. It would be better to sleep in a bed.

Without a word, Lee carried you back to your quarters. Only to find you, once again, asleep with Wanshi the following night in the training room. Same again on the next following night again and again.

Gritting his teeth by how maddening this occurance was, Lee picked you up for the final time. You were still fast asleep, exhausted from the training.

The same set of emotions swirled in his M. I.N.D. Lingering his gaze as Hypnos, Lee clicked his tougne out of frustration.

"This is our Commandant," he mumbled, "go get your own..."

"... That's not how Strike Hawk works, you surely know that."

Taking a step back, Lee glared at Wanshi. Shifting in his sleeping position, with his eyes still closed, Hypnos gave a yawn before slowly, very slowly, opened his tired eyes.

Lee scoffed at his last sentence. Clearly hiding the embrassment, of his biased opinion being heard.

"Of course I know that," Lee replied, "But what are you doing, always approaching our Commandant?"

Wanshi only look back at Lee with an indifference gaze. Disinterested in engaging an argument, the construct began stretching before laying back down. Shifting, in a more comfortable position.

He closed his eyes and said, "We just so happen to fall asleep here. Commandant just wants to practise aiming."

There was a scene of you mentioning about your shooting skills played in Lee's memory data. During that time, he wasn't in for a small talk, and didn't put your concerns at heart. Thus, it was his own doing for pushing you to seek others for help. Maybe that's why you went to Wanshi instead.

"... Rest assure, I am not stealing your Commandant. I was just trying to help..." Wanshi quickly fell silent, entering into a slumber, he left Lee reflecting on his emotions.

After a long paused, Wanshi spoke up again, "... it's okay to be jealous"

For a split second there was an impulse urge for Lee to point a gun against Wanshi's head. But, Entropy quickly recovered. He gave Wanshi's sleeping form one last look before heading back to your quarters with his teeth gritted together.

******

To recieve a notice on the following morning, Wanshi realised he'd just recieved an offical complaint. Placing the tablet down on the coffee table, the construct just resumed his slumber on sofa.

"Wanshi," Chrome's voice snapped Wanshi awake, "Care to explain why we got an offical complaint?"

"It was just some misunderstanding..." Wanshi replied.

"Is that all you are going to say?" Chrome pressed further.

"It's not much of a big deal," Wanshi said, "just about jealousy."

Looking up at the ceiling, Wanshi gave a small smile before yawning and fall back asleep.

(C) Punishing-eden

[trainwrecksys]

ok!!!!!!!! i am!!!!!!! going to just say it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! long long post ahead!!!!!!!!!

yes i look like an out of touch stan with a victim complex for one character when i draw no one but bentham in my fanart and completely ignore everyone else to feel sorry for him and yes i am aware and no i dont know if anyone else sees this in me or im just paranoid but bro i am annoyed with myself !!! i hate how stannish i am sometimes because yes bentham had every reason to be called evil but yeah i had a good few reasons to have a complete breakdown when i read that in the book !!!!!!!1 too much writing under the cut about a lot of stuff that is in my head and needs to get out for better or for worse idk

i have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement and i do not expect to be forgiven but genuinely the way me being a stupid shameless stan can come off to others even subconsciously is actually important because it makes me look like someone who would see a situation like the bentham siblings' in real life and side with the STRAIGHT WHITE MALE who has made more than mistakes and hurt people in moments of heightened emotion (end of library of souls)- but like not in defense of bentham for ONCE IN MY LIFE everyone feels emotions everyone gets hurt and he had a right to not be perfect after everything he went through but that doesnt mean hurting people is the course of action and bro i have completely ignored that and skirted around it for two years and IM NOT GONNA KEEP APOLOGISING FOR MAKING THIS TOO LONG BECAUSE IT BLEEDS INTO REAL LIFE AND I REALISE HOW MUCH OF A STUCK UP DICK I COULD BE NOT ONLY ABOUT THIS BUT IN GENERAL LIFE AFTER I READ THE BOOKS AND GAINED AN ATTACHMENT TO BENTHAM

the stuff im talking about is honestly mainly between me myself and i and most of the art i post is him either chilling or feeling a bit sad but the way i completely ignore miss peregrine's issues and betrayal to focus on how oh so hurt and betrayed myron was like there was no reason he was exiled

like yes years in a big mansion with three people to keep him company in the middle of devils acre with no way to resolve his trauma can do shit to someone but what about years feeling his sisters guilt, BASIL????? what about how she mustve felt after both her brothers DIED due to their own hubris???????????? what about how she felt she was a bad sister when she literally had to be like their mother with all the baggage she had then actually mother children while thinking her slightly better brother might have been getting better with him saying he was gonna give them info on caul only to see him SIDE WITH CAUL when he had just done something that COULD HAVE HELPED HIS CAUSE and then spitefully capture her and lead them into the mouth of hell OH MY GOD

and how jacob and emma had to deal with his bullshit being all "lets talk over tea!" and waiting for when it was right in the exposition to tell them who he fucking was, then telling them he BASICALLY KILLED JACOBS GRANDPA while giving excuses and them finding out later on that hE KEPT THE SUUL FOR HIMSELF?????? i made some bullshit reason up why he did that for my headcannons but lets be real the only reason they could have at least imagined was that he was planning on using it in the library. the information betrayed them either way and to alma again it was only a stab in the gut because he hurt a guy who was basically her son

overall hes not some aesthetic victimised pookie bear hes a more than flawed man who only did some things to mend his image and cant be excused for what he did and this whole post was basically me shouting at myself