#idk how to tag this one y'all
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Hello everyone! I'm S, and I'm currently a UG student (BBA Finance) in her final year. While I don't use this account much (I'm much more comfortably settled over at @ghostieblr these days), this is my main and oldest blog, thus making it the blog with most reach in my fingertips.
Now, why am I posting here, you ask? Well, as I said, I'm a final year student, and I need to write a dissertation before I graduate. I have chosen a topic, but I need to collect primary data — for those unaware, that means collecting data by myself rather than relying on other sources — for it to be completed.
I'm only just beginning my dissertation, and I'll keep posting about it till the viva/presentation/defending of my dissertation comes up, which is in the second half of March 2025.
I need your help. My topic is: "Generational Gap in Investment Strategies: A Comparative Study on Gen-Z and Millenials."
If I post a google form here later with some pretty personal investment-related questions, will you be willing to fill it out? I'll keep it completely anonymous, no email records or even your name, just the basics: age range (are you a millenial or genz?), country (because different countries have different rates on securities, and of course people have different views on building their wealth because of those differences, amongst other differing factors), etc.?
I'll put up a poll. If there's a positive response, it'll be great! If not, I understand! But I'll be super-pretty-extra pleased if you could help me out :D
(i'll also sweeten the deal and write you fics? short ones? if you're into it? just send me an ask on @ghostieblr please. I'm in quite a few fandoms, Teen Wolf, Supernatural, BBC Merlin, MCU, and a newly-minted DC fan. I'm also in others, but I'm not sure I can write about them? Still, shoot me an ask! Plus, check out my ao3 (or my pinned post on the aforementioned other blog) to check out my writing and other things? thanks!)
Alright, now for the poll!!! I'll keep it open for a week. Please reblog to increase the sample size!
#polls#dissertation#about me#idk how to tag this one y'all#tumblr is suggesting sterek lmfao#pls reblog for sample size#investment#investment strategies#primary data collection
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Let's Talk About Ir Abelas, Da'ean
As some of you may know, I am vehemently against the dishonest use of AI in fandom and creative spaces. It has been brought to my attention by many, many people (and something I myself have thought on many times) that there is a DreadRook fic that is super popular and confirmed to be written at least partially with AI. I have the texts to prove it was written (at least) with the help of the Grammarly Rewrite generative feature.
Before I go any further, let it be known I was friends with this author; their use of rewrite features is something they told me and have told many other people who they have shared their fic with. It is not however, at the time of posting this, tagged or mentioned on their fic on AO3, in any capacity. I did in fact reach out to the author before making this post. They made absolutely no attempt to agree to state the use of Rewrite AI on their fic, nor be honest or upfront (in my opinion) about the possibility of their fic being complete generative AI. They denied the use of generative AI as a whole, though they did confirm (once again) use of the rewrite feature on Grammarly.
That all said: I do not feel comfortable letting this lie; since I have been asked by many people to make this, this post is simply for awareness.
You can form your own opinion, if you wish to. In fact, I encourage you to do such.
Aside from the, once again, high volume word output of around 352K words in less than 3 months (author says they had 10 chapters pre-written over "about a month" before they began posting; they are also on record saying they can write 5K-10K daily) from November until now, I have also said if you are familiar with AI services or peruse AI sites like ChatGPT, C.AI, J.AI, or any others similar to these, AI writing is very easy to pick out.
After some intense digging, research, and what I believe to be full confirmation via AI detection software used by professional publishers, there is a large and staggering possibility that the fic is almost entirely AI generated, bar some excerpts and paragraphs, here and there. I will post links below of the highly-resourced detection software that a few paragraphs and an entire chapter from this fic were plugged into; you are more than welcome to do with this information what you please.
I implore you to use critical thinking skills, and understand that when this many pieces in a work come back with such a high percentage of AI detected, that there is something going on. (There was a plethora of other AI detection softwares used that also corroborate these findings; I only find it useful to attach the most reputable source.)
Excerpts:
82% Likely Written by AI, 4% Plagiarism Match
98% Likely Written by AI, 2% Plagiarism Match
100% Likely Written by AI, 4% Plagiarism Match
Some excerpts do in fact come back as 100% likely written by human; however, this does not mean that the author was not using the Grammarly Paraphrase/Rewrite feature for these excerpts.
The Grammarly Paraphrase/Rewrite feature does not typically clock as AI generative text, and alongside the example below, many excerpts from other fics were take and put through this feature, and then fed back into the AI detection software. Every single one came back looking like this, within 2% of results:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d72a35679f7e2c0ec04c7dfc22efeff8/b79513f0d97e33a6-54/s400x600/5fab63c83fa7eb790618107fd1f216dea48d5c9c.webp)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f442d4a3bd67e19644c7d63ce70806a6/b79513f0d97e33a6-4d/s400x600/7669d2f4b879f7a1936020de0c2fa517d9f018aa.webp)
So, in my opinion, and many others, this goes beyond the use of the simple paraphrase/rewrite feature on Grammarly.
Entire Chapter (Most Recent):
67% Likely Written by AI
As well, just for some variety, another detection software that also clocked plagiarism in the text:
15% Plagiarism Match
To make it clear that I am not simply 'jealous' of this author or 'angry' at their work for simply being a popular work in the fandom, here are some excerpts from other fanfics in this fandom and in other fandoms that were ran through the same exact same detection software, all coming back as 100% human written. (If you would like to run my fic through this software or any others, you are more than welcome to. I do not want to run the risk of OP post manipulation, so I did not include my own.)
The Wolf's Mantle
100% Likely Human Written, 2% Plagiarism Match
A Memory Called Desire
99% Likely Human Written
Brand Loyalty
100% Likely Human Written
Heart of The Sun
98% Likely Human Written
Whether you choose to use AI in your own fandom works is entirely at your own discretion. However, it is important to be transparent about such usage.
AI has many negative impacts for creatives across many mediums, including writers, artists, and voice actors.
If you use AI, it should be tagged as such, so that people who do not want to engage in AI works can avoid engaging with it if they wish to.
ALL LINKS AND PICTURES COURTESY OF: @spiritroses
#ai critical#ai#fandom critical#dreadrook#solrook#rooklas#solas x rook#rook x solas#ir abelas da'ean#ao3#ancient arlathan au#grammarly#chatgpt#originality ai#solas#solas dragon age#rook#da veilguard#veilguard#dragon age veilguard#dragon age#dav#da#dragon age fanfiction#fanfiction#as a full disclaimer: I WILL BE WILLING TO TAKE DOWN THIS POST SO LONG AS THE FIC ENDS UP TAGGED PROPERLY AS AN AI WORK#i tried to do exactly as y'all asked last time#so if y'all have a problem w this one idk what to tell you atp#and see????? we do know how to call out our own fandom#durgeapologist
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it's that time again folks! rb and share the name of the first song you heard in 2025!
#in the tags#happy new year#music#this is how i discover new music throughout the year y'all so don't disappoint me#also i think this might be the 5th year i've done this? idk#my first song was i'd do anything by simple plan lol#random shit that no one cares about
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I'm so glad i watched Sk8 the Infinity as an adult and not a teen so I didn't turn into one of those annoying idiots who complain about "renga not being canon because they didn't kiss"
#like shut the fuck up they promised to skate infinitely with each other#under a full moon#look up mise en scene and shut the entire fuck up#as i've grown older i've come to enjoy subtle romance much more than on screen kissing#cuz whenever a couple kisses i'm like woah hey that's a bit graphic innit why don't we tone it down#maybe talk about how beautiful the moon is while not looking at the moon at all idk#i don't need you snogging on screen to know you're in love#that's usually a cheap way to show that anyway#because it's usually straight couples and no one in the industry knows how to show that straight couples like each other#outside of actions that are explicitly associated with romance like kissing sex and love confessions#so give me chemistry over kissing any day#seb watches sk8#do i put this in the main tag?#ehhhhhhhhh#yeah sure why not#sk8 the infinity#renga#they might not even show up because of the wall of ramble tags i've put before them#oh well#also this is not to dunk on my teen mutuals i love y'all#(even though some of you could maybe entertain the idea of private conversations a little more thoroughly)#but i just remember how blind i was to subtext and themes and that sorta stuff as a teen myself
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Irondad fic ideas #154
CW: this one's pretty gruesome. read at your own risk
Peter is a young child who's been kidnapped. His parents and/or his aunt and uncle were killed and he was taken. Along with a bunch of other little kids, he's been held captive and experimented on.
When the Avengers suddenly bust the kidnapping operation, the kidnappers try at the last second to destroy their research. They gas the small room where the kids are being held.
It's Iron Man who ends up blasting through. What he finds is horrifying. All but one of the children are dead.
The one who's left is just sitting among the bodies, crying, shocked, terrified. Iron Man carries him out of there, then once they're safe from the gas Tony steps out of the suit to comfort the kid while he's given oxygen.
Little 5-year-old Peter Parker imprints on his savior hard.
He just went through an unimaginable amount of trauma, then Iron Man burst through like an avenging angel. This is the first time he's ever felt protected in his memory. Tony holds the crying kid, and the kid can tolerate no one else near him.
This becomes a slight problem when they get back to base. But Tony can't find it in him to let SHIELD take the kid away, let them strip him of this one tiny bit of comfort. He keeps seeing all those other kids when he closes his eyes.
This one needs him right now. And if "right now" eventually becomes "this is my son," well. Who could've predicted that.
#sing it with me: codependency irl is bad but reading it in fic heals me on fundamental levels#give me separation anxiety peter! fiercely protective suddenly-a-parent tony!#irondad fic ideas#irondad and spiderson#btw sorry this is so gruesome y'all#cw: violence#idk is that the right tag?#just this image of peter being the only one of a whole group to survive wouldn't leave my brain#then him imprinting on his rescuer instantly#how tony might struggle with emotional vulnerability normally but wouldn't hesitate to comfort this child#iron dad and spider son#peter parker#tony stark#also imagine the moment a few months in when peter finally asks tony to be his dad#tony (crying): sure I can do that#imagine a moment where tony tells peter about his own time being kidnapped#imagine what would happen if the kidnappers (let's say hydra) CAME BACK#queueueueue#see announcements
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❤💖💛
i'll post this cora doodle to see if people will like the one piece content, then maybe i can post more who knows
#and i will continue drawing the ship art challenge#im working on it im just really slow#fan art#my art.#corazon#one piece#donquixote rosinante#rosinante corazon#one piece rosinante#op#idk how to tag im new to one piece fandom#hope y'all like it
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Pete "The Rizzler" Mitchell
#hello top gun fandom idk what to say to y'all but I'm not going to apologize#can't believe this is my first post#how far the mighty have fallen#i am not immune to the fruity military propaganda movie#how to get out of trouble 101 with maverick Mitchell#step one: flirt with your superior's superior#that's it that's the only step#iceman is not amused (or maybe he is. just a little bit. he's exasperated)#this post brought to you by Tom Cruise's goofy little :3 smile#tom iceman kazansky#top gun iceman#top gun 1986#top gun#pete maverick mitchell#top gun fanart#frozen's art tag#icemav
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some doctor who cyanotypes I made for my photography class that I just realized I never shared
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cc2a32834a4c8d7e9310302e33ad82d0/df39c2512730e951-60/s540x810/cf06c946659404c985298e998901d82928591293.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/08abcc1001cd34821d479f30fb48665d/df39c2512730e951-ba/s540x810/b29ee6bd5cf8b0ec4f4390401db2828d4c030643.jpg)
#I don't actually know if anyone else will find these as cool as I did#but my tablemate and my teacher thought these turned out super good looking#so I wondered maybe if I showed them to people who actually watch doctor who that y'all might like them as well#I mean I know they're dead messy but it was soo fun to do#if you've got the chance to make a cyanotype you totally should. fantastic medium#btw the first is titled “the doctor(s)” if ur curious lol#I'll be honest I'm not the biggest fan of the second one but it certainly got me some compliments so#I'm thinking it's an “I made this therefor I do not like it” and less of an “it's trash” issue#is this art? does this count as art?#I won't tag the fanart tag ig since idk but I'll use my own since I still technically made these with my own two hands#twelfth doctor#clara oswald#doctor who#my art: oil paint pawsteps 🐾#ohh. I also just realized I never shared my clara collage I made for this class either#I'm not going to show that one bc it IS trash but I think it's funny how clara is just my ultimate muse in all of my projects
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Dying Star
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1a0237cc621cd01dc40256111ada5fde/503636143d09ff95-cf/s540x810/d226402508c0497a5916829e9d92fb2b7ee708f8.jpg)
In the back of your mind, you recall something you once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can still see a star that's already burnt out, because its light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.
You remember Sam's words, once whispered to you on this very roof.
"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."
You think about dead stars.
You think about time.
- - - - - - -
Sam’s words have been weighing heavy on your mind ever since you discussed your shared future and the various forms it could take. You didn’t realize just how heavy they were until it all came spilling out of your tired mind on a late night spent together beneath the stars.
Pairing: Sam x Darlin' / Reader
Word Count: 4,053
Contains: [angst] [a dash of humor] [a hint of chubby!Sam bc i like 'em strong and soft] [crying] [cuddling (dub-con cuddles with Quinn in the past & consensual ones with Sam in the present)] [emotional hurt/comfort] [implied/referenced dub-con sex (nothing graphic) (in the past between Darlin' and Quinn to be specific) (refer to my Ao3 notes for further explanation)] [mentioned Quinn] [not quite Dissociation i guess but Darlin' does zone-out/get lost in thought more than once] [pet names (Darlin' (obvs.) and honey)] [Reader is Darlin'] [Sam wears a cowboy hat bc i said so] [some passive suicidality from Sam if you squint (hell, maybe you don't even have to squint)]
A/Ns: Well, well, well, here I am, the person who said they wouldn't write any Redactedverse fanfic. I recently felt a mighty need to expand upon the blurb I wrote in this post, and I'm braving my fandom anxiety by sharing it here. pls be nice 2 me abt it
Timeline-wise, this fic takes place sometime after the ‘Talking About the Future With Your Vampire Mate’ audio but sometime before their presumed eventual departure from the house that William gave Sam, given that they've already had the 'turning' discussion but are still on the same roof in this fic.
This is a songfic, inspired by and quoting verses from 3 songs. Those being:
‘Dying Star’ by Ashnikko feat. Ethel Cain
‘Fix What You Didn’t Break’ by Nate Smith
‘No Plan’ by Hozier
The roof of Sam’s house is far from a ‘cushy’ place to relax. But as you lie here next to him under the stars, a knowledge settles within you that you wouldn’t trade the rough shingles beneath you for the softest mattress in the world. Not if it meant there’d be anyone other than him lying next to you.
Some people might counter that it’s an easy thing for you to say, given the number of nights you’ve thrown a balled-up shirt onto one end of a worn-out couch and called it a bed. But some people don’t know you as well as they think they do.
You’ve known luxury. Quinn might’ve been just as content taking his fill on a seedy motel bed as he was wrapped in silks at a Hilton, but he knew how to play up the luxe when it served him to do so. And in the early days as he worked to lure you in, it did. Plush sheets and expensive drinks helped to soften the preordained blows and dull the imminent pain that your nights with him held.
Once you’d latched onto the bait though, he let the act drop one piece at a time, like props collapsing on a stage. After all, what was the point in all of those frivolities when you both knew what you really came to him for? It wasn’t to be wined and dined, it wasn’t to be dressed up and shown off, and it wasn’t even to be slowly stripped of it all, laid out across the rolling clouds of a pillowy mattress.
It was to be used. Tranced. Restrained. Bitten. Drank from. Choked. Hit. Edged. Denied. Made to writhe and whine and bleed and plead. Plead for more, for less, for nothing, for anything. Anything to quiet your mind and fill the ever-expanding void inside you where you suspect love was supposed to live.
That’s what you both really wanted.
At least, that’s what you told him you wanted.
That’s what you told yourself.
You only got what you asked for.
To your right, Sam stirs, stretching gently with a yawn. The soft noise he releases as he does so reminds you of where you are, and you trace back through your thoughts to find how you got so lost.
…Right. Luxury.
While your relationship with Quinn certainly changed over time, you never forgot what it felt like in the beginning.
You remember nights laid next to him, body sore, mind quiet. Quinn’s idea of aftercare was lacking to say the least, but you had nothing better to compare it to at the time, and you’d take what you could get. At least your head felt empty, and the bed was soft. Exhaustion would pull you under soon enough.
The mattress, sheets, and pillows enveloping you were likely worth more than you even made that past month. ...Or several. You found that display of luxury hard to be impressed by though, when it wasn’t the type of comfort you’d been seeking.
As Quinn shifted in his presumed sleep, pulling you in tighter, you didn’t fight it. You found yourself unwilling to fight anything he did, like his mere presence was enough to drain the fight right out of you. You told yourself that you were okay with that. Because you wanted it.
Lying there with your head on his bare chest, you took a deep breath and told yourself that you liked the stench of cheap cologne, poorly masking the cigarettes and alcohol on his breath. You silently told yourself that you liked everything. You liked the pain that he chased with hints of pleasure. You liked the loss of power, the way you couldn’t fight back if you wanted to once he looked you in the eyes. You liked all the things he said, no matter how much the truth might hurt.
He was right, you supposed. Your desires, the things you craved, the depravity that you so enjoyed, wasn’t normal. It was uncommon, unusual, and in the eyes of some, unfathomable. To possess such dark desires, there must be something truly broken inside you.
How lucky you were, to have found someone willing to indulge you. Someone that could give you everything you wanted, and be so kind as to keep it a secret too. He promised that word of the things he did to you, the things you let him do, would never get out. You remember the way he held your hand as he told you, falling for the guise of sincerity in his eyes. You remember his warm smile, and his razor sharp teeth.
You remember seeing that exact same smile on his face through one-way glass as he sat across from Sam and told him everything.
You stood in that room and thought back to those nights of luxury. To the feeling of his nails ghosting over the freshly healed punctures in your neck. To the way he held you against him. You remember laying there, lifeless, feeling like prey playing dead. Afraid to move, afraid to disturb him. But why? He hadn’t threatened you. He never told you that you had to stay. He never said that you couldn’t move, or pull away. So why did you feel that way?
As you stood, helplessly witnessing hours of his slander in that interrogation room, you understood. Your rose-tinted glasses had long since shattered, and you saw that smile for what it was. It was the smile of a man playing a dangerous game, brimming with satisfaction, thinking he’d won.
The radio near you begins to crackle, static obscuring the hosts voice as they announce the upcoming song. Sam doesn’t even open his eyes, just raises a hand and reaches out, blindly adjusting the antenna of the old device.
You’ve teased him for holding onto it for so long, as he is wont to do with damn near all of his possessions. But as you watch him deftly extend and angle the antenna with practiced care, the response he once gave you proves itself true once again.
“I don’t wanna replace it, Darlin’. It’s not broken. It just needs someone who knows how to make it sing again.”
The static clears, and music flows through the radio’s old speakers once more.
You watch Sam return his hand to its prior position beneath his head, acting as a makeshift pillow of his own. The way he’s lying has his hat pushed forward, and it’d be doing a damn good job of shielding his face from the sun if it weren’t somewhere around midnight at the moment. Still, it suits him somehow, despite its lack of any practicality. All he’s missing is a stalk of wheat between his teeth and a tree to lean against and he’d be the spitting image of the cowboy he swears he isn’t.
His other hand rests on the soft curve of his stomach, rising and falling again as he breathes. He’s the image of peace in moments like these, and you’re drawn to it like a moth to flame. Maybe one of these days you’ll find some of your own, but for now you’re more than content to bask in his.
As you admire him, he takes a slow, deep breath and you mirror it on instinct. The grounding practice helps you leave your mind and return to your body, if just for a moment. In doing so, you realize just how tense your ruminations have made you.
You relax your hands, releasing the blanket beneath you from your iron grip. You brush your palms over it, worried that you’ve torn the fabric once you realize that your nails had halfway shifted to claws. You don’t fret much over damage to your own possessions, but this blanket is Sam’s and you’d hate to ruin it. Though, you suppose he doesn’t prize it too much or he wouldn’t have laid it out here across the roof in the first place.
“If I buy somethin’ it’s because I wanna use it. Now quit frettin’ and get over here.” You recall what he told you earlier as he patted the blanket next to him in invitation, and you smile.
Doing a small stretch of your own, you release the tension in your shoulders, turning your attention back to the stars above you. For a while, you let the soft music wash over your tired mind.
“I asked him not to kill me politely. He drained my magic core, bottled up at the source. I washed up on the sea glass shores. I’m nobody's captive.”
In spite of your best efforts to relax, you’re still subconsciously futzing with the loose threads of the old blanket beneath you.
You’re made aware of it when Sam reaches a hand down, gently laying it over yours and effectively stilling your anxious motion.
“Burning like a dying star, invasive weeds rooted in my heart, set in a crooked trajectory. The journey here was hard, I was almost pulled apart. Trying to leave his orbit took what’s left of me.”
You flip your hand over beneath his so you can hold it properly, lacing your fingers together.
For reasons beyond your understanding, emotion tightens your throat, the threat of tears pooling in your eyes.
…You must be more tired than you thought.
As minutes pass and one song fades into another, your gaze dances across the blurry, scattered points of light in the dark sky.
“You were the star in the pitch black, shine the way on the way back. Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers.”
Sam’s always been so much better at identifying stars and finding constellations. But as the music plays, you begin to see one of your own.
“Picked up the towel that I threw in, took in a heart that was ruined. Showed me the past ain’t a tattoo, loved me even when you didn’t have to.”
“Sam.” You squeeze his hand to get his attention.
He squeezes back in acknowledgment. “Hm?”
“I want you to look at something.” You swallow back the emotion that tries to seep into your voice, but it catches his attention all the same.
He leans up and lifts his hat from his head, setting it aside near the radio. He then reaches to turn a dial back, lowering the music’s volume to give you his full attention.
You release his hand, raising yours up as he turns back to face you. You don’t say anything at first, nearly too lost in your own mind to realize you need to actually voice your developing thoughts.
"What—what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"
Your hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in your line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above you. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."
Sam does his best to follow your less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', your pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along your exposed wrist where your sleeve had slipped back, he takes your hand in his again and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"
"That's you." You say, matter-of-factly.
"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.
"Mhm." You nod with finality, blinking slow.
Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting you. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."
You scoff. "I am being serious."
Sam stifles a laugh. "No—no I mean—like... what's another name for it... Oh, it's also called the Dog Star."
"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."
He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but you cut him off before he can start. "But no. No, this isn't about me. That's you."
He decides to play along, finding something endearing in your overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"
Your frown is audible in your voice as you latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"
He smiles at your over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, honey, I promise."
You huff, but begrudgingly shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention.”
Sam’s brow furrows as you continue to explain, realization setting in that you really are being serious.
“I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...And there you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places and people that I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, at Wonderworld, surrounded by the ghost of him. Your warmth, your presence, your aura—even with all of your walls up, you outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me home."
In the back of your mind, you recall something you once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can still see a star that's already burnt out, because its light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.
You remember Sam's words, once whispered to you on this very roof.
"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."
You think about dead stars.
You think about time.
"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand squeezes yours tight, his urgent tone pulling you out of your thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"
You look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, faint shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.
You reach out, pulling him down into you. He falters for a moment at the sudden proximity, but quickly embraces you in turn. Burying your face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear your words, muffled against the thick flannel, but his hearing catches them just fine.
"Don't burn out too quickly. Please. I still need you here. I don't—I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."
The words feel like a weight being lifted from your shoulders, but with it comes a flood of emotion they’d been holding back. You cry harder into him, and as much as it pains Sam to witness, he lets you feel it, for as long as you need.
Your fear of losing him manifests itself physically, nails curling and sharpening again. When he feels them prick his skin through the fabric of his shirt, he calls your name but doesn’t pull away. Instead, he leans further down into you, letting his weight ground you. “Darlin’, I am right here. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
As you eventually cry yourself out, enough wherewithal returns to you to realize that you should probably release the poor man from your grasp, and the awkward position you pulled him into. When he pulls away enough to see your face, you notice a string of snot running from your nose to his shirt collar. Quickly batting it away out of embarrassment, you cringe, voice thick as you apologize. “Eugh, gross. Uh… sorry. About that.”
He shakes his head, laughing good-naturedly as you wipe at your nose with your jacket sleeve. “It’s completely fine, honey. After all, I’ve been covered in plenty of your, uh… various fluids before. When you come from my line of work, this is child’s play.”
He leans to his right, reaching back and pulling—of all things—a handkerchief from his jeans’ left back pocket. You laugh at his words, and at the sight, but with how congested you are it turns into more of a hacking cough than anything. Accepting his offering, you blow your nose into the black patterned fabric.
As soon as you can speak somewhat clearly, you can’t stop the teasing remark that slips out of you, gesturing with the wad of fabric in your hand. “You know, you really aren’t beating the cowboy allegations with stuff like this.”
He rolls his eyes but his soft smile remains. “It’s a practical thing to have on me, ‘allegations’ be damned.”
You shake your head with a smile of your own, but don’t disagree. As you’re visibly unsure what to do with the dirtied fabric, he takes it from you, setting it aside. “I’ll toss it in the wash when we go back inside. Along with my shirt, and…” He eyes you for a moment. “…that jacket of yours too, given how long you’ve probably been wearin’ it.”
Normally you’d argue that it hasn’t been that long, but come to think of it, you actually can’t recall when you last washed the thing.
Reaching up and rubbing your temples, you already regret your crying fit as a headache begins to set in. “Fuck, Sam... I’m sorry for… whatever that just was. I don’t know what came over me.”
His expression falls into something serious again. “You never need to apologize for feeling. And it certainly seems like… you needed to feel that.”
You nod quietly, but don’t elaborate, prompting him to question you gently. “Darlin’. What was that about? The—the askin’ me not to leave. Are you… afraid that I’m gonna leave you?”
You close your eyes, weighing out your response. “…Not in the sense that you’ll break up with me or something, no.”
His gaze narrows and his head tilts as he rolls your answer over in his mind. “If it ain’t that, then—” He remembers how you mentioned ‘forever’ and cuts himself off as the puzzle pieces start coming together. “Oh. …Oh, Darlin’, no.”
You open your eyes to watch as he shifts from leaning next to you, moving to sit up beside you. “Is this about what I told you, when we sat up here and had our uh… turning discussion?”
You hate to admit it, but you nod in confirmation. “…It’s your choice, Sam, and I never want to take that away from you. I shouldn’t have said what I just did, I—I don’t want to make you feel guilty, or like you have to stick around for my sake. But I’d be lying to you if I said it hasn’t been playing on my mind. The thought of you… leaving. Like that.”
He reaches up, running a hand through his hair. “I… think I maybe should’ve been a bit more clear, when I said that. Because I wasn’t talking about any time soon. I didn’t want to give you the false impression that I plan on sticking around for centuries, but… I also wasn’t trying to imply that I’ve got plans to do it next week either.”
You bolt upright, voice cracking. “Next week?! I sure as shit hope not!” You grab your head, pain flaring and suddenly dizzy from the quick shift in position.
He places a hand on your shoulder to steady you. “I’m not, honey, I’m not. Did you catch the rest of my sentence? I’ve got no plans to leave this world any time soon. I promise.”
You groan, head pounding. “I heard you, I did, I just—fuck, I don’t even wanna think about you leaving so soon. Here I am, stressing, thinking I’ve only got—I don’t know—some odd years left with you, and…” You sigh, trailing off.
Sam stays quiet for a minute, letting the crickets sing.
Eventually, he interrupts their chorus. “…Can I get closer to you?”
You nod. “…Please.”
He closes the gap between you, carefully wrapping a strong arm around your curled shoulders. “You’ve got way more than a couple years. I promise you that.” Your tension begins to ease a bit as he clarifies. “You… you’ve helped me find a life that I actually feel like livin’ again, for the first time in a long time. And I want to experience it with you for as long as I can.”
“…Really?” Your voice sounds so small, so unsure, so… unlike you when you question him that he wants to kick himself in his own ass for the role he unintentionally played in making you feel this way.
“Yes. Really. I mean—” His voice takes on an edge of humor. “If you decide to set your sights on the year 3,000…” He shakes his head. “I don’t know about that. But as far as the 21st century is concerned? …I think I’d like to see it through. For as long as you’re there to see it with me.”
His words cause fresh tears to well up in your eyes, and you sniff in an attempt to hold them back. The sound catches his attention, and he leans forward, thumbing across your warm cheek. “…I’m makin’ you cry again…”
You shake your head, clearing your throat. “No—No, it’s okay. It’s good. They’re… they’re good. It’s… relief.”
He breathes out a relieved sigh of his own. “Yeah?”
You nod, leaning into him. “Yeah.”
As you rest against each other, breathing in the cool night air, you nudge him with your shoulder. “Can we… lay back? For a bit?”
He squeezes your arm in gentle confirmation. “Of course.”
He twists and reaches back to straighten the wrinkled blanket beneath you, before laying out across it himself. The radio crackles as he turns the volume back up a bit. Watching him with tired eyes, you smile at the sight of him patting his chest in habitual invitation.
“Sit in and watch the sunlight fade. Honey, enjoy, it’s gettin’ late. There’s no plan. There’s no hand on the reign. As Mack explained, there will be darkness again.”
Curling up against his side and laying your head on his chest, you release a heavy sigh when his hand comes up to rest on your shoulder. As his fingers press rhythmically into the tense muscle beneath them, you breathe in his scent. Black coffee and wildflower honey… he smells like home.
“Your secret is safe with me, and if secrets were like seeds, when I’m lyin’ under marble, marvel at flowers you’ll have made.”
You reach your hand out across his broad chest, slipping beneath his open flannel and sliding down to rest on his waist. He sighs, relaxing further beneath your touch.
“My heart is thrilled by the still of your hand. That’s how I know now that you understand.”
Yeah, you’ll take this over ‘luxury’ any damn day.
“There’s no plan. There’s no race to be run.”
Laying there with him, listening to the low hum of the radio, the moment grows so comfortable that you almost hesitate to break it.
“The harder the pain, honey, the sweeter the song.”
“…Sam?” You whisper into the night.
His hand sweeps across your back before returning to your shoulder. “I’m here, Darlin’.”
“There’s no plan. There’s no kingdom to come.”
You smile. “I… I’d like to be there, to be here, to see it through with you, too.”
It takes him a moment to recall exactly what you’re referring to, but when it hits him he hums a low understanding tone, clearly pleased. “Then let’s see where it takes us, yeah?”
“But I’ll be your man if you got love to get done.”
He presses a soft kiss to your temple. “We’ve got plenty a’ time.”
A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. You can find my extensive notes and commentary on this fic right here on Ao3. My Sam & Darlin' Playlist My Sam Playlist My Darlin' Playlist My Sam & Darlin' Moodboard My Sam Moodboard My Darlin' Moodboard Header Image Credit: Gage Smith on Unsplash
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted sam#redacted darlin#redacted fanfic#redacted fandom#sam collins#samuel collins#redacted tank#fanfiction#fanfic#my writing#one of my last Redacted posts didn't make it into the tags. which wasn't a big deal since it wasn't something important#but i spent some real time and effort on this fic so if tumblr yeets This post into the void i Will cry. and then painstakingly repost it#i've got big feelings about Sam and y'all r gonna see it whether u like it or not /lh#anyways hey this fic was unexpected. and much like Midnight Hour the production time was relatively fast thanks to the power of Fixation#i was gonna post the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding and then work on a Boothill oneshot and then maybe the [N]MbD New Year's fic#but i've been feeling Some Kinda Way lately and i guess i needed to project it onto Sam. so this fic took precedence#i humbly offer my first contribution to the Redacted fandom. pls don't attack me if they're OOC /hj#i'm out here doing my best to walk the line between canon compliance and self-indulgence#also i know that bright thing in the header image i used can't be Sirius. it's gotta be like. a planet i think? not sure which one tho#i've never even seen a planet that bright but my sky isn't all that dark so maybe they Can look that bright in some places#idk. the image description on Unsplash doesn't say. but 'planet' is in the tags so that's my guess#the only thing i've seen be that bright in the night sky 'round here is military flares. but maybe it's to do with how the photo was taken#a n y w a y s point is. the star Darlin' sees isn't That bright but the photo was too fitting not to use
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Okay, I have a theoretical dsmp story idea in my head but idk if it's too far out there/confusing/complicated so I'm curious what do y'all think:
Basic concept (which it's hard to explain but hear me out) is that all of the characters of the dsmp are transported to a massive arena by XD. Each of them wakes up in a separate room, and when they do, they find they're not alone but are accompanied by a stranger who seems to vaguely/strongly recognize them. It's revealed that XD has selected one person from Earth that closest matches the personality of each dsmp member to become a team that will compete in a series of challenges broadcasted to the whole world.
To put it even more simply: each character is paired with a dsmp nerd that matches their energy whether they like it or not and I have an excuse to make a crazy Hunger Games-esque competition while simultaneously analyzing what makes every dsmp character unique.
Does this sound cool or do I sound absolutely insane (pls feel free to ask me questions or throw out suggestions this is a very rough idea as of rn)
#star spitting her nonsense#dsmp#fanfic#story idea#c!wilbur#c!tommy#<- tagging them specifically because you KNOW i'm gonna center it around my dear old c!crimeboys#also while this would mean there'd be a shit ton of ocs involved it would always be in the pov of a dsmp character#idk if i'll limit it to one or have it switch about but no matter what it's not gonna switch to the ocs (unless y'all would like that??)#idk i have such a vague image in my mind but it's cool and i wanna build off it i just don't know how yet#also pls reblog and give me your thoughts don't just like it i really would like some feedback pretty pls
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newgreenvideo
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH SOMEONE PLEASE GET HIM OUT OF THEEEEEERRDE
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"but isn't arcane based off of leagu-" SHH. listen closely. i'm speaking from experience.
i am a league of legends survivor ('12-'15) and an arcane enthusiast (current). trust me on this.
(this is the meme to show all your friends who only know one or the other)
(except maybe not the ones who ACTIVELY play league........yeah........uh, maybe just leave them be until they snap out of it)
#hand-drawn-on-my-laptop meme be upon ye#yay i made the background light grey so no one is jumpscared by it on the timeline (it doesn't blend in with the background)#guys i promise i played league when i was a young teenage girl okay i MAINED ASHE. IF THAT DOESN'T TELL YOU ----#ashe and amumu and miss fortune okay#yes i loved my ADC girlies idk how i didn't remember caitlyn when i saw her in arcane okay LEAVE ME ALONE#and yes i was playing league when it was adc adc apc jungler support okay#also being good at league had and HAS 0 requirements of knowing ANY lore. the lore was there to distract from the addiction#DO YOU HEAR ME#THE LORE WAS THERE TO DISTRACT FROM THE ADDICTION#no i don't have daddy issues related to this MOBA game. why would you think that#and i played ezreal and twisted fate and cho'gath and annie. okay don't come for me#anyway i hope you enjoyed one of my personal histories#ms paint#arcane#league of legends#things produced by riot games are a spectrum#arcane season 2#guys i still can't believe a 2009 dota knock-off domino-ed into the best canon lesbian representation the west has ever seen. i won y'all#on that note: I WAS A GAMER FR FR & I'VE ESCAPED THE ADDICTION TRENCHES & EMERGED A LESBIAN WHO WON OKAY. NONE OF YOU CAN SPOIL THIS FOR ME#riot games#just remembering i think i bought an ashe skin........*sigh*. gonna pretend like that money went straight to amanda overton's check okay#i repeat: no i don't have daddy issues from this game why the heck (covers up length of tags) would you think that
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thank you for the tag, @sasheneskywalker!!!
rules: answer and tag nine people you want to get to know better and catch up with.
favorite color: it changes regularly, but currently, a dusty/greyish purple
last song: Maps by The Front Bottoms
currently reading:
Butcher & Blackbird by Brynne Weaver is my current fiction read and i *hate* it with my entire being. don't read it.
Postcolonial Astrology: Reading the Planets through Capital, Labor, & Power by Alice Sparkly Kat is my current non-fiction read and so far, it's very good
i'm reading a lot of comics at the moment, but my main read is Manhunter (2004) which so far, is very good, i highly recommend. i'm also planning to read Midnighter (2007) and Black Widow (2014).
currently watching:
The Acolyte has been my most recent fixation so that's just on loop rewatching over and over in the background. a lot
i've been watching Pennyworth which is far better than i expected it to be, i'm really enjoying it
i also started Invincible, which i've been enjoying
idk if it counts but i've rewatched Madame Web a concerning number of times in the past few days.
currently craving: i'd kill for an Italian Cream Soda from tea2go rn
coffee or tea: tea. i used to be a big coffee person in my teens but my chronic illness doesn't like caffeine and it *really* doesn't like coffee so i just drink tea now, but i do love tea
hobby to try: the unrealistic hobby i'd like to get into a fanfiction binding, but that takes materials and resources i do *not* currently have. i think a more realistic answer is i've been meaning to get into marvel comics more.
current au: tbh the main AU i'm working on is a Lance Brunner-centric Post-Crisis fic where i'm completely rewriting his origins to make his death as Robin more significant but still something no one talks about, leading to the ressurection of Jason also reviving Lance and Jason going on his little spree, having no idea he's not the only dead Robin. i've figured out all of the backstory and how i want to characterize Lance, but the actual plot of the fic i'm still working out. i'm leaning toward Lance/Dick as a ship, but i haven't decided. i have so many notes and ideas though and i think it's funny to take a random one-off character from a random 60s comic and actually turn him into something substantial and how he'd shape the Batfamily. trust me i'm so close to infodumping about it here everyday.
i'm also working on a *really* messed up unhealthy Damian/Tim fic, where Damian purposefully breaks the timeline so Tim was never Robin and Damian was the third Robin instead. but when Bruce "dies" Damian realizes he has no idea where to start with finding Bruce so he has to go to a civilian!Tim for help, who has no idea the timeline was changed or that he was ever Robin in a different world. it's gonna be fun and fucked up and full of Damian's jealousy complex over Tim.
i don't know if i can come up with nine whole people to tag for this since i'm still new here but i can try: @searchforahero @divine-dominion @kevin-day-is-bi @kerakeriza @deepwithintheabyss
@maryshellyswife @alicemaem @justmyshittyspace @sandmanwhore and yeah that's all i got.just tagging some mutuals/ppl i see on my posts a lot!!!
#necrotic ramblings#tag game#!!!! ty sm for tagging me in this aaaaa i love tag games#also sashene the omegaverse worldbuilding thing you're working on sounds so cool.#i *love* well built omegaverse worlds so much that consider real world dynamics and mechanics. cannot wait#sorry tagging random ppl is awkward i rlly don't have many mutuals yet#but i see all the lil ppl who mass like/reblog my stuff at once and i love all of you.#i do recognize who consistently interacts with my stuff. i see it all.#idk how to be cool mutual friends with ppl tho. socialization isn't my forte#which is weird bc it *used* to be. idk what happpened.#i had to text my groupchat for their tumblr handles so i could make it to nine whole ppl#ty alice ronnie and skye for being my sacrifices <3 y'all have to suffer with knowing my batcest blog now.#the lance brunner idea is plaguing me though i think it's really funny#i've had it in my head since i read the comic he's in. bc there's only one. after seeing posts about him#he's fucking ridiculous but. i see potential i won't lie#this was delightful tho i miss doing tag games. 10/10.
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oh so NOW y'all rushers wanna talk about James Diamond/Jett Stetson and Jo Taylor/Lucy Stone?!??!?!!! NOW y'all wanna go and totally get behind that like it's the next big revelation?!!??? WHERE WERE Y'ALL WHEN I WAS OUT THERE FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE ALONE IN THE FRONTLINES COVERED IN BLOOD AND RELENTLESSLY HERALDING THESE DAMN RAREPAIRS WITH EVERY INCH OF MY BATTERED CONVICTION AND YET NO ONE FUCKIN LISTENED?!?!!!! ISTG I'M GODDAMN CASSANDRA RN FINALLY WATCHING FORETOLD PROPHECIES GET FULFILLED AND YET. THE VINDICATION FEELS ALL TOO LATE AS THE LEGACY I HAVE BUILT IS ALL BUT FORGOTTEN NOW
#THERE ARE 16 JAMES/JETT AO3 FICS AND GUESS WHAT. 10 OF THEM ARE FUCKING MINE. AND COUNTING.#6 JO/LUCY FICS AND 3 OF THEM ARE MINE ISTG AM I GOING INSANE??????? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I AM SO PISSED BRB CHEWING ASPHALT RAWRGRHGD#ok fr i love jocy but it's been around for a while so i'm not taking credit for it. JAMETT HOWEVER. THEY ARE MY GAY HIMBO BASTARD CHILDREN#THE FUCKING WAY THESE IDIOT BOYFRIENDS HAD A CHOKEHOLD ON ME BRO I. HAD TO WRITE ALL THE CONTENT AND DRAW ALL THE ART AND EVEN MADE#QUESTIONABLE SHIT MY ACE ASS REGRETS TO THIS VERY DAY AND FOR WHAT. THEY CALLED ME A DELUSIONAL FOOL FOR IT. NOW HOW THE TURN TABLES#Y'ALL WANNA TALK ABOUT TOXIC HIMBO BOYFRIENDS YAOI????? DO NOT CITE THE DEEP MAGIC TO ME WITCH I FUCKING WROTE IT MYSELF ETC ETC.#I STILL HAVE FIVE MILLION JAMETT DRAFTS WORTH 100K WORDS AND A WHOLE JOCY AU AND I'M TEMPTED TO REVIVE THEM ALL OUT OF SPITE NGL#IT INCLUDES HURT/COMFORT ANGST HAIR FIC AND SECRET BF REBOUND JETT+REPRESSED GAY JAMES FIC AND A WHOLE JAMETT REWRITE OF BIG TIME SURPRISE#EVEN IF ALL MY OLD BTR FIC DRAFTS ARE TRAPPED IN MY BROKEN LAPTOP;;; I'LL GET MY BROTHER TO PRY IT RIGHT OUTTA THERE IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKE#ALSO IF Y'ALL WANT MORE RAREPAIRS HI KENLOS NEEDS MORE LOVE. IDC KENLOS IS FUCKING ADORABLE AND PERFECT AND IN THIS MANIFESTO I WILL#AND DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT KENDALL/JETT OR EW LOGAN/JETT GET. THAT SHIT AWAY FROM ME THAT GARBAGE IS TRULY VILE WHAT'S THAT BROTHER ÆÜGGÖH#I'M NOT EVEN IN THIS FANDOM ANYMORE AND YET. AND YET!!!!!! I CAN'T LET IT SPIT IN MY FACE LIKE THIS!!!!!! MY CLOWN MAKEUP WILL MELT OFF!!!!#(this is all /lh btw. like i'm kinda mad ngl but just @ myself. i had jamett brainrot for the longest time and it corroded my frontal lobes#neway rant over lmao i hope everyone's having a lovely day out there <3 will this mark the return of this shitty blog???? idk djdjfjkxl#i been thinking about it for a bit but idk how welcome my obnoxious cringeass still is in the rusherblr space soooo#files this under: SHIT THAT GOT ME SO MAD IN DACLUB AT 4 A.M. THAT I REVIVED MY WHOLE DEAD BLOG TO SCREAM INTO THE MERCILESS VOID ABOUT IT#btr#big time rush#james diamond#jett stetson#jamett#james diamond × jett stetson#himbo boyfriends#jo taylor#lucy stone#jocy#jo taylor × lucy stone#stop it forever#it feels so weirdly nostalgic writing out those tags again ( ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ )#ps. did i spend 30mins making that gif just so i have an excuse to show off my eien ni beautiful pink-haired one truest loml on main??? NO
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*exasperated sigh lol* changeeeeee is hardddddd
#the talkies tag#it's been a minute since i did the whole 'small post with lots of tags' bit#idk it's just. for the past couple months i've been really comfortable just vibing with the couple of really good friends i have#and then i went to a dance and met two (2) new people and we exchanged numbers and such#and i decided in that moment that i'd put as much effort as i could into replying on time and actually making goodhearted attempts for them#and for some reason that whole thing has been stressing me out as of late#like i understand that this is a Good Thing and Important Thing to learn how to do the whole social thing#and i want to! i so genuinely want to work on that!#it just. it's just a lot for my mind right now for some reason#i do wish i could remain in the little hidey-hole of 'have like three really great people in your life and chill'#but i also would rather not give up on improving my 'making friends' skills#and so the result becomes: i'm weirdly stressed about nothing in particular#and it begins to drain my poor little introverted self to the point that any socialising is hard#and the real zinger of this whole thing is that i got ONE DAYYY of bad sleep and it threw off my whole grooveee ToT#so yeahhhh- basically the gist is you guys here on Tumblr are My People and don't tire me out and real world stuff is hard#(btw just to really make sure this is clear i am not venting about anybody here y'all are chill as heck i love y'all)#that said i love all my friends very much#and if i have not been very good at responding to you. i am so sorry <3 i swear i cherish you and your friendship#my mind has been everywhere recently#you reading this btw i love you a lot ^-^#thanks for listening#it means a ton#vent
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some eepy anthro slugcats except it turned into me trying to figure out how to draw rivulet yawning
#y'all have no idea how many times i yawned while working on this#its contagious!!!!! help!!!!#also inspired on that one gif with the cute lil blob cat yawning to reveal a terrifying mouth of teeth#rain world#anthro au#idk if i can use that tag???? i dunno the etiquette ok-#i can remove tho if necessary#my art#also not so subtly pushing the fishstick agenda#love them <3#various meanderings
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