#idk how to dig myself out of that hole

[causenessus]

JUST KNOW APPARENTLY I MISCOUNTED MY TAGS AND I WANTED TO PUT THIS IN MY FAVORITES AND PANTRY STAPLES AND FIRST AID KIT BUT I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH ROOM SO I SWITCHED OUT PANTRY STAPLE TAG FOR THE FIRST AID KIT TAG!!! (this makes sense to no one but me BUT EGGY THIS WAS SO GOOD)

THE MANEATER CHAPTER NINE: diet pepsi

masterlist

divider credits to roseraris

"Man, I swear she's the one who asked me."

Iwaizumi believes him. That’s the worst part. Actually, the worst part is this odd pang he gets in his chest. He doesn’t have the right to feel betrayed, and yet, here he is, feeling betrayed and jealous and pushing some random man out the door just because she batted her eyelashes at him.

He’s fucked. Iwaizumi’s totally fucked.

“Don’t care. Club’s closed, go home,” Iwaizumi instructs, tone cold and detached. And before pretty boy can respond, he’s closing the doors in his face and locking them, more than ready for this fucking night to be over with.

She’s in their spot, sitting on a milk crate, cigarette hanging lazily from her lips, in one of her ridiculous outfits. Iwaizumi sighs at the sight of her; her drunkenness is evident in the way her limbs hang from her, sloppily, like they’re hardly connected to her at all. He doesn’t try to convince himself he’s not worried. Iwaizumi’s past that point.

She offers no reaction as he pulls up his milk crate to sit beside her, she just pulls the cigarettes away and breaths out a line of smoke. “Rough night?” Iwaizumi asks.

“Fuck off,” she mumbles, but there’s none of her usual bite to it. “Thanks for getting that guy off me. I changed my mind about thirty seconds in.”

Iwaizumi squirms. “Yeah, I could tell.”

They sit in silence for a moment. Iwaizumi doesn’t move. He’s never quite seen her like this before. Quiet and solemn. Even with a drink thrown in her face she was blubbering and expressive and loud. Now her expression is straight and unwavering, her words a pitch lower than they usually are. He doesn’t know how to deal with her like this.

“I got into an argument with Kiyoko,” she offers suddenly, and Iwaizumi tilts his head to look directly at her. “Was my fault, for sure. But she wants to quit, get her own place. She said she’s tired of this lifestyle.”

Iwaizumi watches her face for any give or any sort of tell. But she doesn’t flinch or twitch and there’s no watering in her eyes and this feels suddenly more severe than any other conversation they’ve had. He shifts and pulls out a cigarette of his own. “And, to you,” Iwaizumi starts, flicking at the end of his lighter, “this lifestyle is sorta synonymous with you, right?”

She turns her head to glare at him. She looks tired, that coating of makeup on her face doing little to conceal the dark bruises under her eyes. “Don’t be a dick about it.”

“I’m not being a dick about it,” he contests gently, exhaling smoke. “I’d be upset too.”

“You would?”

He nods. “Yeah. It fucking sucks when it feels like people are moving on from you.”

Her head drops, and her eyes find the ground. “She’s my best friend. I was mean to her.”

Iwaizumi does something unexpected then. He doesn’t realize he’s doing it until he’s already done it, but he raises his arm and throws it over her shoulder, pulling her and her milk crate closer to him as he does so. His heart hammers in his throat when she lets her head fall against his shoulder. “She’ll forgive you.”

There are goosebumps on the skin of her arm. Iwaizumi can feel them, and he lets himself believe they’re not from the chilled, late summer night. “I wanted to go home with someone so I wouldn’t have to go home to see her. Is that pathetic?”

Iwaizumi swallows a lump in his throat. “You can come back to my place, if you want.”

✧˖*°࿐

She’s standing in Iwaizumi’s bedroom. She cleaned her face off with Oikawa’s micellar water and used his expensive face wash and moisturizer. She pulled off her fake eyelashes and left them on Iwaizumi’s nightstand, next to the glass of water and Advil he left her, and now she’s standing in the middle of his bedroom, wearing a t-shirt he pulled from the bottom of his drawer and a pair of sweatpants she had to roll up not to trip over.

His room is exactly what she would expect. Plain walls and grey sheets. Methodically neat and organized. Black wooden furniture and dumbbells stuffed in the corner. It feels oddly familiar, being in a room that is so him.

There’s a knock on the other side of the door. Polite of him to knock on his own bedroom door. Standing feels awkward, so she sits at the edge of his bed. “Come in,” she says, quieter than she needs to, like she’s afraid of getting caught.

Iwaizumi opens the door, and then hovers there for a moment. He looks like he has something caught in his throat. “Do you need anything else?” he asks.

“Nah. Are you sure you don’t want me to sleep on the couch though?” she asks, knotting her hands together on her lap.

“Take the bed,” he insists. He has an expression on that she can’t read. That might be on purpose. “You look different.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Different?”

“Without all the makeup. Less intimidating, I guess.”

“Sorry,” she says with a slight eyeroll. “I’ll put a full face of makeup back on, so you don’t get uncomfortable by what I actually look like.”

“Not uncomfortable,” Iwaizumi is quick to correct, and then he takes a step back, hand reaching for the light. “Goodnight.”

He leaves her in the darkness, and she settles into his sheets. They smell like him. And she’s not sure if she’s still just too drunk, but she sort of hopes the smell lingers on her skin by morning. It’s the last thought she has before she falls asleep.

✧˖*°࿐

She is awoken before she’s ready. The blinds of his bedroom are ripped open, and the morning sunlight invades her rest. She groans, and grabs the closest corner of blanket she can find to pull it over her face. “Go away,” she grumbles.

Iwaizumi chuckles. “Gotta get up, brat. I got you breakfast.”

She groans. “Don’t want breakfast. Wanna sleep.”

She doesn’t know what time it is and it’s hardly even registered where exactly she is. All she can think about is hiding in possibly the warmest and softest place she’s ever been in her life, and sleeping for eight more hours or so.

And then, the blanket is ripped from her, and once exposed to the cold, outside air, she shoots upright. Iwaizumi grins. She glares. “Breakfast, c’mon. Before my roommates wake up.”

That motivates her. With less reluctance now, she rises, and follows Iwaizumi to his kitchen, quietly complaining the entire time, continuing to do so as she devours as a bagel. Whatever last night was, it was just theirs. No roommates need to know.

When she leaves, she leaves in his clothes, her own ones bundled up into tight balls of fabric and shoved to the bottom of her purse. She wears her platform boots under his sweatpants and at least they allow her a few extra inches of height so she’s not dragging them along the pavement as Iwaizumi walks her home.

By the time he leaves her at her front door, they’ve returned to normal, trading insults back and forth like it’s the only language they know how to speak. But when she closes her own bedroom door behind her and falls onto her bed, she’s still wearing his clothes, and it all feels different.

✧˖*°࿐

Iwaizumi was going to wash his sheets. But he lies down on top of his bed, and notices they smell like her perfume. He looks to his nightstand, and sees her fake eyelashes, lying there with bits of glue stuck to them. And he decides to leave the traces of her there, for now.

extras!

yn rode home from the club with iwaizumi on the back of his skateboard

he went slower than usual because he was afraid of her getting hurt

yn and kiyoko has fought before but they always make up in the end ; yn takes it harder when she fights with kiyoko because she hates the feeling of disappointing her

iwaizumi had her ass up and out of bed at 7:30 in the goddamn morning

she was pissed

taglist: @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @deluluforcarlos55 @localgaytrainwreck @cherrypieyourface @eclecticeggknightpsychic @httpakkeiji @does-directions @needtoloveoutloud @causenessus @kawaii-angelanne @thatonecroc @v1oletfury @lonesomedrive @nnnyxie @guitarstringed-scars @nbcvs @garfieldissocool @iheartpinky @mollyrolls @yogurtkags @yuminako @michivrse @19calicos @sunnyskiezzzz @bailey-reeds @staileykout @kitskasoboring @loverlunaire @iluvaquaphor @lllaw @alpha-mommy69 @acowboykisser @karasyuu @aquariarose @torkorpse @wave2mia @southernfrogprincesd @mfcherry @adorerinn @soulfullystarry @jaynawayna

[skiploomz]

i dont want this to come across as mean or to be as some sort of example as to why being trans is bad. but i think a lot of the time when i see ppl talk abt having gender envy its not in a very constructive way.

Like ofc lots of us have dysphoria and dysmorphia,, but i just want to point out that theres not a lot of difference between trans ppl looking at skinny androgynous ppl and saying "i wish i had that gender" and the stereotype of a teenager looking at a magazine going "i wish i had that body".

A lot of the time the things i see ppl say they want the gender of are like. Just normal ppl wearing a shirt and jeans lol. But the appeal is to have their body. And i get that. I also feel like that. But i dont know how constructive it is to look at ppl and go i want to be like them instead of like me when the "like them" things are things you cant really change.

Im not saying seeing someone with a cool aesthetic and wanting that aesthetic is problematic. Im not saying anything is problematic at all ! Im just saying as a kinda chunky trans man myself that looking at skinny tall cis men and constantly going "i WISH i had what they have :(" isnt good for me and i dont think its good for a lot of other ppl too.

[daffythefox]

^ my tags on a different post wanted to update that they also dmed me asking if i was okay. which means they’ve now triple texted me they’re literally obsessed with me i won the narc crash (is still emotionally devastated)

[brothersonahotelbed]

made a new acquaintance today at school and panicked and introduced myself as my deadname even though there was nothing preventing me from saying nico i just go tso scaed and now im feel sick!!!

[usetheforce]

.

[toxic3mmy]

Imagine Alex about to fuck you for the first time and you were wearing the ‘lucky you’ jeans.

(they’re jeans that when you unzip them there’s a piece of fabric that says “Lucky you”)

why is this such a cute idea😭 i can’t make my mind up, would alex be super shy when he saw this or would he be cocky and all smirky abt it??? idk hehe

[also im sorry! this is short but it gets right to the point😛]

prompt: your first time, Alex gets lucky

warnings!! smut!

alex had taken you out to a nice dinner date. the entire night, he was such a perfect gentleman to you.

you really loved him. despite the relationship being only a few months in, you knew you loved him. you had never felt the way that alex made you feel.

and on this night, as you admired alex smiling across from you under the dim restaurant light you thought, damn.. i’d really like to give myself to you..

on the car ride home, it’s honestly all you could think about.

“everything okay, sweetheart?” he asked, his eyes on the road as he drove the two of you home

“yeah, just lost in thought. sorry..”

he opened your car door and led you inside. once inside, you decided to ask.

“alex.. can we, you know..?”

alex froze as he was taking off his shoes at the door. he looked at you nervously

“can we what?”

“can you make love to me?” you said quietly, hoping not to make a fool of yourself

“are you sure? i don’t want you to feel rushed or anything y/n” he finally looked at you, taking your hand in his

“im really sure.. i’ve been thinking about this all night, im ready”

he smiled shyly and led you to his bed. he dimmed the light and turned on some soft music.

“i love you.. i hope you know that y/n” he laid you down

“i do and i love you too” you pecked his lips softly as he hovered above you

“please let me know if im hurting you or if you want me to stop, okay?”

you nodded and pulled his face to yours, connecting your lips once again. the kiss was slow. his lips felt so soft and warm against yours. the aroma of his cologne filled your senses and you never realized how intoxicating it was.

your hands were looped around his neck. you felt alex tilt his face a bit more and his tongue softly pressed your bottom lip. you opened your mouth slightly and tasted him entirely.

you let out a low gasp as your boyfriend tangled his tongue with yours. he groaned into your mouth and you felt a heat building in your core.

“you taste so sweet” he whispered and pecked your lips again before kissing lower

he kissed your jaw and began to suck and bite a hickey into your neck. you squirmed and squeezed your legs together as you began to feel needy for him. he continued to kiss your smooth skin.

“can i take this off?” he asked, politely giving your blouse a small tug and you obliged

he helped you slip off your top along with your bra

“so beautiful..” he murmured against your supple breasts

he kissed and licked your nipples while your hands found their way to his back, digging your nails into his skin as he swirled his tongue around your chest.

he went to take off your jeans. as he unzipped them, he stopped and you looked to see him smirking up at you

“what? whats wrong?” you said breathlessly

“lucky me..” he chuckled and your face fell hot

“did you wear these specifically for me? it’s a bit naughty, don’t you think?” his teasing made you feel more embarrassed

“babe stop! just.. just—”

“just what, chiquita?” his smile never faltered

“just fuck me already” and alex practically growled at your filthy words

he took your jeans and panties off and threw them aside. he proceeded to prop your thighs up and kissed down them, leaving purple marks all over your skin. he finally got to your heat and licked up and down you agonizingly slowly.

your whimpering encouraged him to continue. he took two fingers and entered your tight hole. his mouth focused on your clit. he slowly built up a steady speed, pumping his fingers in and out of you while his tongue swirled deliciously around your throbbing clit.

you wanted more and so without a word, you pulled him up to connect your lips once again as your hands helped him undress.

“eager, are we?” he asked with your lips still against his own

“shut up and fuck me, alexis” his pants and boxers were off now and he went to enter you

he slowly pushed himself in as he positioned himself above you again. your face scrunched up in slight pain as his cock stretched you open

“are you okay? tell me when to move, chiquita” he panted

“im okay.. go ahead”

his hips thrusted in and out of you. slowly, the pain subsided and you felt such an immense sensation of pleasure. you needed more

you pulled alex up in a sitting position and you climbed to sit in his lap. you sat down and felt him enter you again

“oh god… you’re so deep alex… you feel so g-good” your hands were on his shoulders now as you took control

you bounced yourself on his hard cock and alex was moaning incredibly loudly, whimpers of your name left his mouth at every thrust

he leaned back on one arm and brought his free hand to your mouth

“open your mouth” he ordered

he used your saliva to coat his fingers and went to play with your clit. you threw your head back as his fingers rubbed against your clit perfectly. you moved closer to him as you began to feel tired out. your arms hugged him to your chest, your lips on his neck as you moaned into it. he took control and fucked into your pussy while still giving attention to your clit.

“i-im cumming” you stuttered out and alex sped up

he hit you at a new angle and it was enough to drive you over the edge. your hips stuttered and your legs trembled as you came down from your high. alex slid himself out of your tired pussy and began to tug at himself

“where do you want it, princesa?” he groaned, and in turn you opened your mouth and looked up at him with your big doe eyes

“look at you, mouth open and ready for my load. you look so pretty..” he said as his hand quickened and you felt his warm juices all over your face and you tasted him on your tongue

he helped you clean your face and the two of you laid together naked underneath his duvet.

“i think i was the lucky one tonight” you giggled

alex kissed your forehead and whispered sweet nothings to you until you fell asleep

[lanadelnegan]

idk if this one is too weird for you and i‘m anxious, but,,,

negan going down on you despite you being on your period and we realize he‘s into it a lot

*deletes myself*

nothing is too weird for me babe. let me clarify.. there is NOTHING.. and I mean NOTHING.. I wouldn't let negan fucking smith do to me. xx

Vampire

Negan x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+, smut, oral (f receiving) while on your period, squirting

not the bloody mouth gif

"Not now, Negan." You turn away from him, holding your hand over the pain in your lower belly.

Negan slides into bed behind you, spooning you close. You can feel his erection pressed into your lower back and you wish you could please him, but you're too miserable to even move.

"What can I do to make it better, sweetheart?" He asks, bringing his hand down to your belly, replacing yours. The touch of his hand gentle rubbing you immediately relieves some of your pain and you relax into him further.

"Nothing.. but I.. want you to be satisfied." Your hand drifts behind your back, finding Negan's hard cock and rubbing it through his boxers.

He grips your wrist gently, pushing your hand away. "Don't worry about me, baby. It's okay." He kisses the side of your neck.

"No, I want to make you happy.."

Negan chuckles. "Sweetheart, you have no fucking idea how happy you make me. Relax, get some rest."

"No, Negan.. I want you.." You groan, frustrated that your period hormones always makes you so horny and desperate. You may not be in the mood for sex, but you want to make him feel good. "I want to make you cum.."

"Yeah?" He breathes into your neck, whispering softly. "I've got an idea, baby. You trust me?"

You nod, patiently waiting to see what he's got in mind.

The covers peel off of you, leaving you cold and exposed in nothing but your tank top and panties while Negan positions himself below you, urging you to lay on your back and spread your legs in front of his face.

Your eyes widen as you look down at him. "Negan, what are you-"

"You wanna make me cum, right baby?"

"Y-yes.."

"Lemme eat this pussy then." He slides your panties down your legs and you arch your back, helping him get them off. You can't believe he actually wants this right now. You've never messed around with anyone while on your period, and your cheeks redden with embarrassment.

"Negan, I'm - I'm bleeding down there.."

"I know what a period is, doll." He smirks up at you, spreading you apart and licking his lips at the sight of your red, swollen pussy.

He breathes in deep, hovering his nose right above your opening. "Lay back and let daddy make you feel good, baby."

You obey him, leaning your head back against your pillow and shutting your eyes. He trails light kisses along your inner thighs, moving closer to your center with each one. His last kiss presses against the crease of your bikini line before he slightly pulls his head back, eyeing your cunt as if he can't wait to dig in.

"My dick is hard as a fucking rock right now, baby... Just from the smell of you." His breath blowing against your clit as he whispers makes you shiver and you feel him spread your lips apart further before lightly dragging his tongue from your bloody hole to your clit.

"Mmm, fuck." He says against your clit, making it vibrate and your back arch.

His arms slide under your thighs, bringing his hands up to rest on your stomach as he pushes you down, not allowing you to move. Your legs are spread even further apart in this position and you lift your head up to look down at him.

He lightly licks at your clit as he stares up at you through his brows. Suddenly his warm mouth pulls away, leaving you cold and wanting more.

"Please don't stop." You beg.

"Wasn't planning on it, baby." Is all he says before his tongue dives deep into your wet hole, curling until it's flush against the walls of your swollen cunt. Your mouth gapes open as you watch his eyes roll to the back of his head and flutter shut at the taste of you.

"Negan!" You cry out as your hand drifts to his head between your legs and your fingers tangle and tug at his salt and pepper hair. He lets you push his head further as his tongue shoves deeper inside of you until you're sure it's soaked in blood.

He moves his tongue inside you so good that your hand falls from his head to grip the sheets beside you. You try to arch your back again but his hands are still firmly holding you in place, so you cry out loudly instead.

You lift your head again to watch him and he comes up for air, meeting your eyes. You instantly blush at the sight of your blood covering his lips and he grins lustfully, revealing even more red on his teeth.

"Negan, there's.. blood on you. All over you."

"Feel like a fucking vampire, doll... I need more." His voice is deep, desperate, and raspy as he watches your cunt, waiting for you to give him more of what he needs. "Push it out for me."

You flex the muscle in your pussy before pushing, immediately feeling a thick drop of liquid run down your slit. Negan groans as he watches the drop of blood slide down to your asshole before leaning in to catch it with his tongue. He swirls it around your tight hole before licking a stripe back up to your pussy.

"Oh my god.. Negan." You moan out, enticing him suck on your clit again. His tongue works against you eagerly as he pushes you closer and closer to the edge. His left hand suddenly leaves your stomach, reaching underneath himself to stroke his aching cock.

"Negan - stop, I'm, I'm gonna cum!"

"Fuck. Me too, baby." He whines against your clit, working his tongue harder and faster.

The thought of Negan cumming sends you over the edge and a rush of warm liquid squirts out of you, making Negan quickly dip his head lower so it lands in his mouth. He lets out a long, hoarse moan as a mix of your blood and juices fill his mouth. He swallows every drop down with ease before going back for seconds, collecting as much as he can like he can't get enough.

Moments of him drinking, moaning, and licking you clean pass by before he finally comes up for air.

"Goddamn, girl." He says out of breath. "Fucking love this time of the month."

[changbinsboiledegg]

The reader being quiet during sex was so sweet and cute and I liked it because some ppl are just not talkative during sex and that's okay.

However!

Can I please request how the members of Stray Kids be like when the reader is loud, whiney and loves dirty talk?

Thank you!

Hi hi! Thank you for the compliments! I honestly get why some people are loud and some are quiet. Both perfectly normal! Also thank you for your request & this meme. I will be committing theft of this bc San is bias wrecking me lately. :) 🫶 onwards to your request lmao.

AFAB! Reader X SKZ.

MDNI!!!! (bc one warning will suffice, I hope.)

Warnings: Oh boy. SMUT, obvi. Dirty talk, obvi pt 2. Swearing, usage of the word 'dick', 'cock' (bc I got over myself but only once.) and 'p*ssy', protected or unprotected fucc (not specified), fingering, idk why I keep making Minho a dom in these, oral (fem receiving), riding, wet dream mention, shower fucc, groping, blowjob, what's it called when you both m*sturbate each other? bc there's that too, rough seggs? kinda?

Note: Lmaooo I'm not good at dirty talk but I tried!!! so in advance, I'm sorry if some of the dialogue is cringe :'((( I also tried to keep it different scenarios, idk why reader is getting fingered so much, my fault. Anyways, if no one told you today, ilyyyyy and I hope you enjoy! Also, :)))) MDNI.

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

Chan

“I really need you inside of you.”

That was all you had to say to set him off. His night was booked the moment those words were whispered in his ear.

“Fuck! Right there! Ah!” You whined, pinned against the wall with Chan’s fingertips digging into your hips as he took you rather roughly.

“You like that? Like when I fuck you?” Chan huskily spoke close to your ear, thrusting deeper.

“Fuck yes! Fuck me! Harder!” You vocalized in loud whimpers, feeling your legs tighten around his waist as he relentlessly thrusted harder as per your request.

“So good. So fucking tight.” He muttered through grit teeth, feeling and enjoying the way your body shook from the pleasure coursing through you.

“I can feel you stretching me out.” You trembled, your mouth hanging open. Chan pressed his lips hungrily against your neck, sucking on the skin between his teeth.

“Ah, you’re so tight that it’s gripping my cock.” Chan mumbled, listening to your desperate and needy whines as he pounded into you.

Lee Know

“I can’t stop thinking about how wet you get for me.” Minho whispered, spreading your legs as he tugged your dampened panties off and leaving you exposed.

“Stop thinking and feel how wet I am for you.” You expected him to unbutton his jeans and stick his hard dick inside of you.

But he didn’t. Instead, he pressed his hand over your wet pussy and felt around, collecting some of your wetness on his fingertips.

He rubbed and lightly tapped your clit before slipping his fingers inside of you.

“Hmm, I’ve always wanted to feel your fingers fucking me.” You moaned, using one hand to grip one of your legs while the other lay idly on your breast.

Minho smirked at your words, how you reacted, and thrusted his fingers in and out of your wet hole, making a beckoning motion as you whined and rocked your hips.

“Fuck! I’m going to cum!” You were loud and honest, feeling your stomach tighten. Minho pulled his fingers out before you could find release and unzipped his pants.

“You will cum on my dick. Understand?”

Changbin

“How fast do you think I can make you cum?” Changbin asked, pulling your hips towards his face.

You looked at him and admired how eager he looked at he prepared to eat you out.

“Knowing you, I’d say a minute.” You released a shaky breath, feeling the sexual tension building up inside of you as he licked his lips, staring directly at your glistening pussy.

He started off with licks and soft sucking, earning whining from you.

“You don’t know how badly I needed your tongue on my pussy.” You shuddered, trying to keep your legs spread for him but the urge to squeeze his head with your thighs was overwhelming. He was eating you out so good that you couldn’t help yourself.

“You taste so good.” Changbin mumbled against your pussy, sucking on your sensitive clit and slipping two of his fingers inside of you.

“Fuck, fuck, don’t stop. I’m going to cum on your tongue!” You whined loudly, writhing a bit before he held you down with his free hand and continued to eat you out and finger you.

Hyunjin

“I missed having you between my legs.” You commented, sinking down on his dick and feeling him fill you up.

“I missed watching you ride me like this.” Hyunjin breathed out, groping and rubbing your body as you started off slow, adjusting to his dick after so long of not having him inside of you.

“I missed riding you.” You chuckled, biting your lip as you sank down deeper before raising your hips up.

“Fuck, you’re making me miss you already.” Hyunjin groaned. You let out a shuddering whine as you picked up speed, bouncing on his dick and throwing your head back.

“Holy shit! You feel so fucking good!” You gripped his shoulders, making eye contact.

“You’re so going to miss how good I’m fucking you right now.” You moaned out, not caring how loud you were being. Hyunjin groaned, gripping your hips tightly.

“I’m going to miss it so bad while I’m away.” Hyunjin guided you up and down his length rhythmically, bringing you closer to the edge.

Han

“I had a dream about you and now I really need to fuck you.” Jisung wrapped his arms around you from behind as he said this.

“Oh yeah?” You teased, pressing your ass against his erection. “How bad do you need to fuck me?”

“So bad.” Jisung kissed your neck, slowly grinding against you. You checked the time and shrugged.

“Then fuck me.” You challenged. Within a minute, he had you bent over the bathroom sink, your face pressed against the mirror as your moans, loud whining fogged the mirror.

“This is better than my dream.” Jisung slammed his hips against yours. “So tight and wet and needy, just like that baby.”

You whimpered as your walls throbbed and clenched around his pounding dick. “I know you’ll always fuck me so good. Leaves me wanting more.”

You gripped the edges of the sink, your legs shaking but you were feeling too good to allow yourself to collapse. Jisung sped up, slamming into you repeatedly.

“Shit, you’re going to make me cum all over this sink!” Your whimpers echoed through the bathroom. Jisung grunted, his dick twitching inside of you.

“Fuck, baby… so tight…”

Felix

“I get so hard when I’m around you.” Felix felt up and down your wet body as the shower ran over both of you.

You slightly swayed your ass, feeling his hard dick against you. “Is that why you joined me in the shower, you naughty boy?”

Felix grinded against you, fondling your body. “Maybe… I also think you’re beautiful when wet.”

His hand snaked down to your clit, rubbing circles. You moaned out, tilting your head back as water poured down your body.

“No. Not today.” You grabbed his hand and turned to face him. He cocked an eyebrows, confused.

You lowered yourself to your knees on the wet floor of the shower and took his dick in your hand.

“I really want to taste you.” You licked a stripe on his shaft, slowly jerking him off as you did. Felix let out a throaty groan, gripping the door of the shower. “Darling… Your lips look so pretty wrapped around my dick.”

You smirked, taking him into your mouth, bobbing your head up and down his length as he turned into a whimpering mess. You pulled him out of your mouth and looked up at him with a gleam in your eye.

“It makes me so wet when you fall apart for me.”

Seungmin

“Are you always this wet?” Seungmin asked, thrusting his fingers inside of you, his eyes dark as he watched your facial expressions.

“Are you always this hard?” You whined, softly gasping at the finger of his fingers working inside of you while your hand was jerking him off at the same speed.

“Only when I see you.” He used his other hand to wrap around your waist and pull you closer, his fingers going deeper.

“Fuck… and you wonder why I’m so wet…” you trembled, a whine escaping your lips as you quickened your hands pace when he quickened his.

“So needy too. I bet if I stopped, you’d cry.” Seungmin teased. You whined loudly, starting to rock your hips against his fingers.

“No! Don’t stop. I need you to make me cum.” You gasped when he went faster, staring directly into your eyes.

“Oh yeah? I need you to cum too.” He spoke lowly, curving and caressing your walls while thrusting. You screamed involuntarily, shaking as you jerked him off just as fast as his movements were.

“Fuck!”

I.N

“I only want one thing and that’s for you to make me scream.” You challenged, crossing your arms.

This entire night, you didn’t expect Jeongin to take your challenge literally. It wasn’t when he reacted to your dirty talking.

But you two were alone and he needed you just as badly as you lead him to believe you needed him.

He pushed your now naked body on the bed and ripped off his clothes before being hovered over you.

“What was it about making you scream?” Jeongin asked, spreading your legs apart. You quivered at the thought of him fulfilling your wish.

“I want you to fuck me until I scream.” You smirked, reaching down to stroke his hard erection. He breathed out, feeling your hand on his dick.

“You’ll be screaming until your throat hurts.” He muttered, guiding himself inside of you. You let out a soft gasp when he first entered, stuffing himself inside of your tight hole.

“I should’ve fucked you sooner today.” You moaned out, earning a smirk from Jeongin, who began moving his hips rhythmically.

“You think?” He gripped your thighs, picking up speed. You gripped the sheets, whimpering. “Oh fuck! Just like that!”

[donaweasley]

A Mischievous Mistletoe

Pairing: Loki x Fem!Reader

Plot:

Like most rom-coms, our reader has to fake a date for a Christmas with her relatives. And who can be better than her best friend? A classic best friends-to-lovers plot. Again.

Warnings: None, just cheesy, clichéd fluff with a little angst in the middle.

Read time: ~36 mins

Note: This was part of a drabble request that was made in October. 🙄 I know! I’m slower than the slowest sloth! And it ended up much longer than what a drabble should be. I’m so sorry, @muddyorbsblr , I just…IDK how to defend myself!!

It was a languid afternoon - one of the few that the residents of the Avengers Compound could tell a tale about. The afternoon sun slid in through the open window of a certain room, caressing in its wake, the line of pothos spilling off the windowsill, the bench right next to it, and the handful of decors and furniture that it could find in the minimally but strikingly furnished room.

In the process of colouring everything gold, the rays of the departing sun painted a certain prince - or should we call him king? - in its glorious shade, making his appearance even more ethereal, more regal than he already looked. With a book in hand, Loki lay on the bench, relishing a few lazy moments stolen from time. His eyes darted across the pages, consuming the content, like a lover’s eyes would feast upon their beloved.

But moments like these, where one remembers nothing but their simplest desires, are usually short-lived, aren’t they?

A slow, unsure knock on the door whipped Loki out of his solitary bubble. There was only one human who would dare to disturb this particular Asgardian during his alone-time.

“Hey, Loki!”

Standing at the threshold of Loki’s room, (Y/N) barely poked her head inside as she greeted him with a sheepish and tiny voice. Her friendship with the trickster went far enough for her to admit herself into his room without waiting for his permission.

With a heavy sigh, the God of Mischief shut the book, but not before sliding a bookmark between the pages. The pages of the hardbound cover met each other with a muffled thud.

“What did you do now?” He asked her with an air of indifference.

Her sheepish grin morphed into a grimace as she wondered how to unveil the Gordian knot that she had tied.

When she did not respond but kept wringing her hands, Loki raised a brow at her. “Do I have to dig a grave?” He asked in a monotonous tone although bubbles of laughter were threatening to erupt within him. His grip on the book tightened to keep these mischievous little things imprisoned inside.

“Yeppp! Mine,” she mumbled.

“Hmm.” With a swift and graceful manoeuvre, he slid his long legs off the window bench. The careless tail of his robe tugged at a stray cushion, causing it to flop on the floor near his feet.

Standing tall before her, he held the book close above her head. Knitting his brows together and pursing his lips, he looked her up and down, and hummed to himself. A confused (Y/N) traced his movements with questioning eyes as he placed his hands on both sides of her but a little away.

Once realisation dawned upon her, she clicked her tongue and swatted his hands away. “Not mine, you smartass!”

“But I am sure I heard you requesting a grave for yourself!” Loki’s eyes betrayed his tight lips that were trying to suppress the surge of amusement boiling inside him.

“Okay! I did something…stupid,” she finally brought herself to confess.

“Amuse me.” He strode back to the bench, and lay down with his hands behind his head, the book now finding refuge on the coffee table. The cushion that lay on the floor was now being stroked gently by the hem of his parted green robe which, in turn, revealed a long leg - clad in soft trousers of a darker green - crossed over the other.

Exhaling deeply, she began, “Well, umm…you know my cousin, Laura? The one with a snob for a nose and daggers for a tongue and…and a large black hole for a heart?” She described with a dramatic roll of her eyes.

“Hmm,” Loki sported a mischievous smirk. “Are you speaking of that cousin of yours with skin like molten gold, with eyes like a doe’s and with a mouth that is too luscious to not be kissed? Yes, I remember her.”

(Y/N) didn’t realise how hard she was clenching her jaws or how obviously she was glaring at Loki until the latter shot back a knowing grin.

“Are you jealous?” He purred like a proud cat who had successfully cornered his victim.

“Hah! Why the hell should I be? I just…don’t like her. That’s it,” she dismissed his accusation with a wave of her hand. “She’s vile!”

“She’s attractive,” he defended.

“What the-? I can’t believe you’re on her side!”

“I am simply stating the facts,” he shrugged nonchalantly.

“Fine! Just...float in her thoughts. I won’t disturb you!”

She was quick to turn her back and stomp away. But Loki was quicker. He got off his seat and caught her wrist just as she was about to grab the door handle.

“Wait,” he whispered.

Whether it was Loki’s magic touch or his Silvertongue or his ability to control thoughts, she could never figure it out. But she was always surprised by the way he could pull the strings of her heart, how he always managed to get his way. Of course, he was one of her closest friends, her confidante, the person with whom she fought but also shared her best moments. But there was something about him that was…magnetic.

She found it mildly frustrating how, without even a single word of protest, her entire being immediately agreed to stay back. Loki gently ushered her to the window bench, the sun now finding a new figure, somewhere else in the room, to paint its hues on.

“Tell me. I promise not to utter a single word about your gorgeously desirable cousin. Not until you have told me everything,” his teasing tongue erupted a small fire within her, and he enjoyed it immensely.

She sighed, “Well, where do I even begin!”

Loki was waiting patiently through the long pause that she rested upon. But when it looked like she was lost in her thoughts even after a minute, he cleared his throat.

“Ah!” Slightly startled, she looked at him apologetically. “I’m sorry. I just…”

“What happened?” Loki placed a comforting hand over hers. “I shall do my best to fix it.”

“I know! And that is why I came to you. But now I think it was a bad idea. It was a bad idea from the beginning!”

“Would you please tell me?” He insisted.

“Well,” she sighed again, “Laura is hosting a Christmas party at her place this year. And she has invited me. Obviously!!” She rolled her eyes at the last word.

“So?”

“So,” (Y/N) gave an exasperated laugh, “I can’t go without a date!! I know it sounds clichéd, like some stupid plot from some stupid Christmas movie, but it’s freaking real!!”

“Darling, you will go ultrasonic in a few minutes!” Loki grimaced. “Please calm down!”

“I’m sorry! I’m just furious!! She’s always been bragging about her stupid boyfriend who’s always wrapped around her finger like a band-aid, and constantly mocking me for being single. I mean, it’s my choice that I’m single! It’s not like I’m averted to the idea of having someone in my life, it’s just that I won’t just say ‘yes’ to anybody who comes my way! And I know very well that she has invited me to vex me in front of the entire family!”

“Then do not go,” Loki suggested calmly.

“If I do not go, she’ll spread stories about how I chickened out because I’ll turn up alone, without somebody around my arm. Again!”

“Hmm,” the raven-haired prince pressed a long finger to his lips. “How do you want me to help? Should I change her mind? If you know what I mean.”

His mischievous smirk succeeded in breaking a small smile on her otherwise angry countenance.

“I wish, but no!” (Y/N) shook her head. “I… Well, I already told her that I’d be going. And…”

“And?”

She bit her lip. “And I said that I’d be bringing a plus one.”

“And you wish me to be that plus one,” Loki summed up.

She gave a meek nod of her head.

“No.” The god got up and strode across the room, leaving her with an open mouth and wide eyes.

“No?” She jumped up on her feet. “What do you mean ‘no’?”

The moment Loki shot her a glare, he tone changed into a humble one. “Please don’t say ‘no’!”

“I have already said it.”

“Then please change it! Loki, I really need your help!”

“There are so many attractive men in this compound; get one of them!”

“Look, it’s not like I haven’t tried. No one’s available!”

He eyed her doubtfully.

“I’d asked Steve but he said that he won’t be able to constantly lie to my family,” she reasoned. “I don’t know if Bucky would be comfortable under all that pressure. I don’t trust Thor with his big mouth. No offence!”

“None taken,” an amused smile toyed on his lips.

“And then there’s Sam…” A thought crossed her mind. With furrowed brows she continued, “Wait, I didn’t ask Sam.”

“There you go,” Loki gestured towards her with a snap of his fingers, “your problem has been solved.”

After assessing a few things in her mind, she spread her arms, “Nope, not Sam.”

“Why not?”

“Because he would be going out with someone else! He had said this long back. I knew there was something, some reason for which I didn’t ask him but just couldn’t put my finger on it!”

The trickster pinched the bridge of his nose. “And why would I do it? What would I get in return?”

(Y/N) looked at him disbelievingly. “I thought I was your friend!! The closest one, in fact! You won’t help a friend in need?”

Deep within, Loki knew that he would help her as soon as she had uttered one word. But it was the social gathering that he wanted to avoid. He had endured enough scepticism on this planet; he did not wish to attract more.

But (Y/N) was persuasive.

So, it was with utter displeasure that Loki ultimately found himself standing in front of Laura’s door on the eve of Christmas.

Beside him, (Y/N) was fidgeting with her hair and her coat. Despite the chilly air, a paleness veiled her face, and her usual cheerful persona was replaced by a quiet one.

“Are you alright?” Loki gently touched her shoulder.

“Yes. Yes, I’m alright. I just...” She shook her head. “I hate people poking their heads into my private life. And now I’ve dragged you with me! I’m sorry!”

“You do not need to do this if you do not want to.” His tone was so kind that it almost made her cry.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s…” She trailed off.

Once again, Loki waited for her patiently, searching her eyes for all the unsaid things. He could relate to her. He knew how it felt when one had to smile their way through people who did not like them, when one had to constantly fear the sharp daggers of words stabbing them any time. And he felt bad for her.

“Let us do it!” He took his hand in his and squeezed it.

The sudden touch and the sudden command from Loki surprised her. “What? No, no, it’s alright. We can head back. Let’s head back. We don’t need to-”

“We need to!” Loki cut her off. “Let us show them who you are: a fearless, confident, beautiful woman who does not need anyone else to validate her life for her.”

She stared at him with awe.

“Who is this man?!”

Loki had always been supportive but this was on a totally different level! And all the adjectives that he laid down for her - they were enough to make her want to wrap her arms around him.

Before she had the time to react or to have second thoughts about her second thoughts, Loki rang the doorbell. A few seconds later, a woman, clad in a short red dress that hugged all her curves deliciously, opened the door. (Y/N) noticed the way Loki took in her appearance.

“Oh my God, (Y/N)!” The said woman threw her arms around the guest who, in turn, rolled her eyes.

“Hey, Laura!” (Y/N) patted her back.

“And you must be her plus one,” the way Laura eyed Loki made (Y/N) want to gauge her cousin’s eyes out.

“I am Loki,” he took the hostess’s hand and lightly touched his lips to it. “You look gorgeous!”

“You are not so shabby yourself,” Laura grinned like a Cheshire cat, “and what a gentleman!”

Their actions made (Y/N) slightly sick. She hated her cousin. And now Loki - the person she was the closest with - was shamelessly flirting with her. 

“It’s kind of chilly out here,” (Y/N) interrupted. “Mind if we go inside?”

Laura wrapped an arm around Loki’s and tugged him inside.

“Where’s your fiance?” (Y/N) asked her cousin with a hope to divert her attention from her friend.

“He had to go abroad for a meeting. You know how busy these high profile businessmen can get!”

With a fake smile, (Y/N) nodded and asked for a glass of water hoping, once again, that her cousin would let go of Loki.

As she walked away, Loki leaned slightly towards his companion and whispered in her ear, “Are you sure a glass of water will work or should we call the firemen?”

“You don’t get to talk!” She almost shouted but Loki shushed her. “You don’t get to talk,” she whispered this time. “How dare you flirt with her!! And you have the audacity to joke about it! Outrageous!”

“What can I say,” the god gave his famous smirk, “I’m just trying to blend in.”

“Blend in shit!!”

When (Y/N) saw Laura walking back with a glass in hand, she quickly grabbed Loki’s arm, surprising the god in the process.

“Ooh! I didn’t know you were so possessive about me!” He whispered.

One glare from her was enough to silence his mouth but the mirth remained in his eyes.

"Just play along, will you?" She gritted through her teeth. “From afar.”

Loki and (Y/N) walked amidst her relatives, arm in arm, presenting themselves as the happy couple that everyone was delighted to see! No questions, no arguments, no pitiful looks, no sarcastic comments - (Y/N) was finally beginning to feel the triumph in her seemingly “stupid” decision.

But fate seemed to have other plans for her.

Loki suddenly stopped in his tracks, a bewilderment shielding his beautiful face.

“What in the Nine…” Loki's voice trailed off as he gaped at one particular decoration. He tapped (Y/N)'s shoulder. "What is that bunch of twigs doing here?"

"Which one?" Her eyes searched the place until it followed the trail that Loki’s long finger pointed at.

“Ah that! That is a … mistletoe." Much to her annoyance, a faint blush crept up her cheeks as she uttered the name.

While she was praying that Loki doesn’t notice her embarrassing state, the latter was busy spiralling down his own thoughts.

“I know what it is!” He “whispered” loud enough for people within at least six feet to hear him. “I demand to know what it is doing here!”

The blatant lack of his usual calm demeanour alarmed her. He was not the kind to act inappropriately in front of people, especially strangers, and especially the ones who were related to her.

“Did it trigger some old memories?... Maybe he had some bad experience with a former…girlfriend?”

The word “girlfriend” tasted like vinegar, even in her thoughts. But being wise enough, she was able to swallow it down quickly.

“It is a tradition, Loki,” she explained. “Loki, are you alright? Is something wrong? We can head back if you are feeling unwell.”

It was the concern in her voice that pulled him back from his rumination. A swift lick of his dry lips, a subtle clearing of his throat, followed by a deep breath, and the lines on his forehead were gone just as quickly as they had appeared.

“No. I am absolutely fine.” His hands ran over his jacket in an attempt to smoothen out the non-existent wrinkles. “Shall we?”

Unwilling to poke any buried feelings, she decided to let the matter go, and happily looped her arm into the one that Loki had so politely extended towards her.

—

Sitting in a far corner of the living room, with her third drink in hand, she observed the room. Or maybe it wouldn’t be very wrong to say that she observed one particular person and the interactions of the rest of the family with him.

The fact that everyone believed her lie about their relationship made her feel relieved.

The fact that Loki was able to smoothly blend in with the family made her happy.

The fact that he was unashamedly flirting with the very cousin who never missed an opportunity to make her feel like shit made her miserable.

But even amidst the pile of various emotions, she did not miss how Loki’s eyes failed to shine as they usually did, how those smiles never reached his eyes. And it had all begun ever since he had laid eyes on that damned mistletoe.

Chugging her drink down, along with her despondent thoughts, she pushed herself off the chair and strutted towards him.

“He’s my friend. To hell with the world!”

Her throat was still burning from the alcohol when she reached him. When Loki looked up at her, he had a flirty smile stuck on him. But something about her expressions evaporated that mask away. He got up from the loveseat he was sharing with Laura, much to the annoyance of the latter.

“Are you alright?” Just a second ago, he had been using his coquettish voice, and now it was gone in an instant; his words were dripping with concern.

“Are you alright?” She asked him back. “You look like you’re in desperate need of a rescue!”

“Where is this coming from?”

She couldn’t believe her own words! Three drinks shouldn’t have been enough to make her tipsy but they had surely tore her inhibitions down. All this time she had swallowed her jealousy down, and allowed him to do whatever he pleased. But the boldness that voiced itself now came as a surprise even to her slightly foggy mind.

His mouth slightly parted in wonder. Loki looked between his “date” for the night and the cousin who was clearly furious. Clearing his throat, he smiled, “I would love to take a walk, if you are willing to accompany me.”

He was further surprised when (Y/N) extended an arm towards him, just like he had done a couple of hours ago. Taking it rather happily, he whispered to her cousin, “I shall be right back.”

“No, he won’t!” (Y/N) shouted over her shoulder, making the trickster chuckle.

Once outside, the chilly night air seemed to clear her senses a bit while also pulling her out of the suffocation she felt inside those walls.

“So,” Loki began in a soft voice, “are you alright? You seem a little…tipsy.”

“Yes, I am, your majesty, a little tipsy!” She replied with an air of royalty, making Loki laugh. “And I like it!”

“Is there any place where we can sit?” Loki looked around the snow-covered lawn.

“The bitch has a swing somewhere in here,” his companion slurred. “Ah, there it is!”

What she had called a swing turned out to be a porch swing. Loki had noticed her lips quivering in the cold. So, once they settled down on the seat, he wrapped a careful arm around her and pulled himself closer to her. Drunk on both alcohol and the closeness of Loki in the winter night, she did not care as her head rolled comfortably on her teammate’s shoulder.

For a few heartbeats, neither spoke. The chills of Winter - accentuated by the snowflakes flying past them - and a hypnotic silence enveloped them in one of the most calming moments of their entire lives. And Loki had already lived a rather long life, compared to (Y/N).

(Y/N) was the first to pop the bubble. “When we stepped inside, you…well, the mistletoe bothered you.”

She paused to gauge Loki’s reaction. When she found almost none, she continued. “Why was that? I mean, you need not tell me if you don’t want to. You know I won’t force you, right?”

She trod on the topic gingerly, afraid that any rash word might crack the proverbial glass beneath their feet.

With a sigh, Loki stared at the veil of white covering the ground. “It is a long, morbid story.”

“And I’m in no hurry,” she added softly, “but only if you’re okay with sharing it.”

“I…” Loki began but soon became unsure as to which words to use. There was no easy way to say it aloud. It was something that he would rather keep buried in him with the hope of eventually forgetting than sharing with someone who might understand.

“I had a brother,” he resumed after a pause. “A brother other than Thor.”

“What happened to him?”

“Apparently, … I killed him.”

(Y/N) sat up with a jolt. For a moment, Loki could not help but believe that she was disgusted by him, just like people always have been most of his life.

“You did not, did you?” Her question stunned him. No one had ever asked him this. “You said ‘apparently’. People presumed that it was you. Wasn’t it?”

A taunting laugh mingled with the cold air to form a wisp. “Why? I am the worst, am I not? Always plotting against everyone and wishing nothing but everybody’s ruin!”

There it was. The hurt was spilling through his words. She regretted having asked him about the mistletoe in the first place. Well, never in her entire life would she have thought that the story would take such a turn.

(Y/N) fumbled with her words for a while before resuming her composure. “Loki, I know you. Probably better than anyone else does. Which is why I know that you won’t kill your brother. Not unless it was necessary.”

“Necessary?”

“You know, like he went all crazy and started killing people or something.”

Her words made him laugh, even though it sounded rather sad.

“No,” he replied, “he was not crazy. Well, he was, if you ask me…but not a cold-blooded murderer.”

There was a stillness in the air as Loki ruminated on the past, interrupted occasionally by the scraping of the swing on the metal bar.

“Baldur was a good man,” Loki resumed. His eyes were lost somewhere in the distance. “He was the god of war. People loved him. … When he was born - and I have heard this, of course - mother was warned that he would die in a way that nobody would anticipate. So, she asked everything - living and non-living - in fact, pleaded with them not to harm her beloved son. They all agreed. All except the mistletoe. Mother assumed that it was so harmless that she need not persuade it for an oath.”

(Y/N) was listening to him with wide eyes and parted lips.

“So, a feast was arranged where Baldur was showing off his immortality. Everyone was throwing things of different kinds at him - sticks and swords - and everything simply bounced off him.”

Loki’s lips opened but words refused to come out of him.

“I-I… I had to do something different, of course. The god of mischief!” There was a bitterness in the way he described himself. “So, I brought in a branch of mistletoe. A twig, if you may call it. Hodr wanted to throw something at Baldur. He was blind, this fellow. So, I offered him my mistletoe. It was so fragile; what harm could it cause! I directed Hodr so that he would aim at Baldur’s arm. But it hit him in his chest. … And it…it went right through him. He-he died. Right there. Just…”

His voice had started breaking. (Y/N) wanted nothing but to hold him in her arms and soothe all his pain away. But she held herself for she knew that Loki was not very fond of hugs.

“Everyone simply assumed that I was jealous of him because of all the attention that he was getting! They accused me, imprisoned me, made me suffer a punishment that was worse than Hel!”

That was it. (Y/N) could not resist further. So, she took his hands and cocooned them in hers.

“Believe me, (Y/N), it was only a prank. Nothing more! I never wanted to kill him. Never!”

“I know, Loki, I know. I believe you.” Her arms wrapped around him as she brought his head to rest on her shoulder.

The god wept on her shoulder. All the unshed pain that he had been carrying with him for all those years finally found their way out. His arms looped around her of their own accord as she ran a soothing hand over his back and whispered comforting words in his ears.

It took him a few minutes to calm down. Or maybe more. When he did, he realised how close he was to her…how his arms held her snug to his chest…how his lips were pressed to her scarf…how his lungs yearned for her smell with each breath…and how this scent soothed his entire being.

His initial thought was to jump away, for he believed that it must have been embarrassing for her. It had to be awkward, hadn’t it? But then, a moment later, he allowed himself to realise how good it actually felt. And she was in no hurry to let go of him either. Oddly though, it felt right. A warmth spread through him, melting the chills of the night air and of the past that he had been burdening himself with.

So, they remained in each other’s arms for a while more until their seats on the swing started becoming uncomfortable. With hesitant hearts and shy eyes, they slowly untangled themselves.

(Y/N) reached out to wipe his eyes. Loki looked so vulnerable that she wanted to take care of him despite what anybody including the trickster himself might think. But her fear whispered that she might scare him away. So, she ended up cradling his face with one hand.

Loki himself was caught in a strange trance. It was like no magic that he had ever encountered before. The greatest sorcerer in the Nine Realms was unable to take his eyes off the mortal before her.

Whether it was the grief or the weather or simply his long-suppressed feelings for her or all of these, he was not sure of. All he felt was that her touch warmed him to the deepest corner of his being. All he was aware of was that they were both leaning towards the other. All he knew was that this moment was inevitable, this kiss was inevitable. That they must act on it before the moment was gone.

But they took too long.

The light creak of the front door of the house, and the sharp call of a woman’s voice startled them. When they had been missing from the party for quite some time, the hostess herself came out looking for them. Of course, she had assumed that (Y/N) had ditched the party, not that she minded. Her only concern for the night was the charming date that her cousin had brought along.

Imagine her satisfaction when she understood what she had interrupted upon! While (Y/N) jumped off the swing, Loki took a second to dry his face and present a smiling facade before the woman.

“I thought you guys had left!” Laura exclaimed with a faux worry.

“No,” (Y/N) replied, “we were enjoying some nice time. But that’s in the past now., thanks to you,” she murmured the last few words.

“Let’s go inside,” the hostess suggested, “you will freeze out here!”

“We were actually thinking of leaving,” (Y/N) replied. She knew better than to push Loki back into that crowd after such a vulnerable moment.

“What? No! You must stay!” The other woman insisted. “And I need to know more about this handsome stranger you have brought!”

Her sly smile made (Y/N) want to kick her in the crotch. She opened her mouth to protest. But Loki cut her off. He agreed to go inside, to put up that mask again. And before (Y/N) could say anything more, Loki had wrapped a comfortable arm around her waist and was already tugging her inside.

This time Loki did not allow himself to be hijacked by Laura. He kept himself busy with the other guests while secretly enjoying the indignation that he caused her. Amidst all the smart words and fake smiles, his eyes kept floating towards his teammate - the teammate with whom he had just shared one of the biggest sorrows and shames of his life, the teammate with whom he had just shared a special moment. And who knew what more that moment could have morphed into had it not been trampled upon.

(Y/N) was constantly being swept away by one relative or another. But her mind was still seated on that porch swing, basking in Loki’s warmth, burning in the touch of his breath on her lips, anticipating something that was probably never possible. And maybe that’s why God sent her cousin outside at that precise moment. Because that kiss was never possible.

An unhappiness veiled her countenance, making many people ask if she was feeling unwell. Taking advantage of their concern, she excused herself, and isolated herself in a far corner of the large living room.

This did not escape Loki’s notice. His eyes trailed her movements, her expressions and her gradual change of demeanour. All after the incident outside.

As his focus shifted from the guests to her entirely, a string of words drifted into his ears - incomprehensible at first but then they gradually started taking proper shapes. And then he realised it. They did not reach his ears, they floated into his mind! And the voice was a very familiar one. (Y/N)’s!

“She must have zoned out.”

He had promised never to dive into her mind unless she asked him to. But this was different. Her thoughts came to him; he had nothing to do with it, and so, he wasn’t breaking any promise!

Loki listened to her intently. He listened to her confusions, her sorrows, her lack of faith in herself, her acceptance of defeat, her curses as she reproached herself for not being able to confess her immense love for him…

“Wait, what?”

Loki was dumbfounded. There was no way he could have heard wrong but how could that be true anyway? Or could it be? He couldn’t believe his own mind for the first time!

There was perhaps a way to know.

Excusing himself, he approached (Y/N) with a mischief in mind.

“Should we head home?” He placed a soothing hand on her shoulder.

(Y/N) was startled. But the sight of the man rolled a wave of happiness within her.

“No, I’m fine,” she smiled. “I just…I needed a break from all the talking!”

Loki nodded. Lost in her thoughts, she did not notice the trickster subtly - and gracefully - stir the wind with his slender fingers.

“That is one odd place to hang those twigs!” He suddenly remarked with amusement coating his words.

(Y/N) followed the direction of his eyes to find a mistletoe hanging above their heads. Immediately, a panic arose in her. She did not want Loki to go through all that pain again.

“Shit! I…I didn’t see it hanging there. I… Let’s sit somewhere else. You don’t need to see this.”

“Hey,” he held her arm as she sprang to her feet, and gently pushed her back on the chair. “It is alright. Believe me. It is…I am actually feeling better after letting everything out before you… Thank you!”

The gratefulness and adoration in his eyes were obvious. It touched her very soul. Cradling his hand in hers, she whispered, ”You deserve nothing but love. All of it!”

“Which reminds me…” Loki spoke, “are you not supposed to kiss when underneath this treacherous bunch of wild leaves?”

(Y/N)’s face first turned pale and then crimson. There was no way Loki could have known that! Or maybe she had left him in unknown waters for too long.

Prior to the party, the Asgardian obviously knew nothing about any modern traditions regarding the mistletoe. But his companion was right; he had spent enough hours with Laura and other giggling ladies to know a mistletoe’s purpose on Midgard.

Before (Y/N) could protest, someone answered Loki’s question, “Of course, you should kiss! (Y/N), what are you waiting for?” That was her childhood friend.

He was loud enough to draw the attention of others, many of whom were now urging them to seal the deal. At the other end of the room, Laura was fuming, mentally cursing the decorator who had put the mistletoe up there.

“This is not a movie, guys!” (Y/N) stood up straight and shouted. “C’mon! Stop behaving like kids!”

“Are you two even for real?” One of the hostess’s friends shouted back. “How can you not kiss a boyfriend who’s this hot!”

“We do not like PDA, that is all it is,” (Y/N) reasoned.

Loki gently took her fingers in his. It was his tender touch that grounded her anxious emotions. “I would not mind it if it is what it takes to convince your folks,” he rasped in a voice so low that one she could hear him.

How could she say no to those green orbs staring right into her soul! But…it would be wrong to coax him into something which he did not want.

If only she knew!

She never realised when Loki had leaned in until she found it hard to focus on anywhere but his lips. “It’s okay,” she whispered to him. “You don’t need to do this. You could always refus-”

The god did not allow her to finish that line. He had already pressed his lips to hers. A round of cheers and applause rang through the room. But everything was muffled against their ears. The sounds felt like floating from afar. Loki kissed her gently, sweetly, taking his time to show her what he really felt for her. Trying to understand what she felt for him in return.

Although she was stunned initially, Loki’s warmth seeping in through her made her relax. She started mimicking his actions. She allowed her feelings to flow through them. Loki’s arm around her waist and his hand behind her head anchored her to the ground, refraining her body from collapsing under the overwhelming love that Loki was bestowing on her.

But they had to breathe. And it was in their moment of separation that reality sweeped down upon her.

Loki was glowing! But she did not notice that. She was too busy drowning in her insecurities to understand the emotions working behind Loki’s recent actions. She was scared that their relationship would never be the same again, and not in a positive way. She was afraid that they would forever be fumbling around one another because they had crossed the boundaries of friendship, regardless of the fact that she wanted exactly that.

Her eyes apologised to him but he was ecstatic. He could not see past the love that she reciprocated on his lips. But when he finally saw the frown shadowing her features, he placed a caring hand over her cheek.

“What is it, love?”

“I’m so sorry, Loki! I-I know this is awkward for you! I…I’m so sorry! I don’t want to lose you. I-I mean, you-your friendship. This…Loki, promise me you won’t be angry!”

The god stared at her dumbfounded. When he finally did manage to form a coherent sentence again, he commanded her but softly, “Come with me.”

Unwilling to make a scene out of the confusion, he managed to smoothly pull her aside, away from prying eyes and curious ears, without raising any suspicion.

Once they reached a safe corner, he simply gasped, “Since when did you become so dumb?”

Too embarrassed to reveal her watery eyes but too curious to know the meaning behind his accusation, she took only a fleeting glance at him. Focusing hard on the buttons of his shirt, she asked timidly, “What do you mean?”

Loki huffed. He could not understand how someone as smart as her could turn out to be so witless when it came to matters of the heart.

“Do you not understand?” he asked her, slightly annoyed.

“Okay, I have a confession to make. I wanted to kiss you. Did you not feel it? Did you not realise that… Norns! There was no mistletoe up there initially!” Observing her blank countenance, he continued, “It was me- I…” He threw his arms up in the air. “(Y/N)! I put the mistletoe there above us! For us!...For you, you fool!!”

Slowly the gears in her mind started ticking into place. Loki could almost hear them as he watched her expressions morph from confusion to realisation to astonishment to ecstasy.

He smiled. In a voice as soft and gentle as freshly fallen snow, he asked her, “Do you understand now?”

Still in a state of shock, the poor girl stumbled through her words, “Me? But…why? You- Since when?”

A few minutes earlier, when she had voiced her disappointment and uncertainty about the incident with the mistletoe, Loki’s confident demeanour had slipped off a bit. Although he was sure of what he had heard in her thoughts, her weary state had made him wonder if those thoughts were but only smoke trails of a passing moment.

But now, with regained confidence, he stepped forward and took her hands in his, cocooning them in his large ones.

A soft chuckle left his parted lips. “‘Why’ - I do not have the answer to that, believe me. ‘Since when’ - well, I do not really know but I think it might have been somewhere between our annoyingly long talks, our late night affairs of tea, our banters, our reading sessions…maybe somewhere amidst the laughs and the pains that we shared…mingled with the love and care that you have always showered on me, unconditionally… I do not know, (Y/N)... All I know is that…I…” He took a deep breath, “I love you. Yes. And that is why I put the mistletoe up there. I did not know how else to convey my feelings to you. I had thought that you would understand when… I knew I would fumble with words but… Please tell me you are not upset about this entire situation!”

The confession hit her like a freight train. It took her some time to gather herself back together. All this while she had been watching Loki with eyes that radiated nothing but pure adoration. With a small smile on her mouth, she absorbed every single syllable, every single emotion that Loki pronounced.

“Mr. Silvertoungue fumbling?” She let out a breathy laugh which caused a tint of pink to bloom on the trickster’s ears and cheeks.

“No,” she continued, “I’m not upset… You did the right thing…putting that mistletoe up there. I’m absolutely confident that I could have never gathered the courage to tell you how I feel.”

A small chuckle of relief left Loki.

“But that was a lot of talk for a confession. Do you realise that?” She asked with a teasing smile.

The God of Mischief laughed and scratched the side of his nose. “I have been told more than once, yes.”

“But I loved it all,” she took a step closer to him.

“I am glad tha-” Before he could finish his line, (Y/N) had placed her hand over his mouth, taking him by surprise.

“Shh! Do you think,” she removed her hand and resumed with a sigh, “you can conjure that little piece of mischief back…above us? Now?”

A wicked grin spread on Loki’s lips. “Any time! As many times as you want, darling.”

With a small gesture of his slender fingers, a mistletoe appeared above them once again. This time (Y/N) wasted no time in pulling Loki down by the collar of his shirt and placing a promising kiss on his eager lips.

They felt the same fire as the previous time but better. This time neither was in a rush to douse the flames but ready to surrender to them, to become one with the raging fire and burn bright until there was nothing left but the glowing love and passion that they felt for each other.

But even in the middle of a searing moment like this, (Y/N)’s mind couldn’t help but wander off to other thoughts. Barely separating herself from Loki, she tried to ask him but the Asgardian wasn’t willing to let her go, “Wait, how were you…mmh…so confident about…mmh…wait! About how I felt for you?”

“Later”, was the only response that Loki was able to manage as he pulled her closer and chased her kiss-swollen lips with his hungry ones.

She tried hard to pry herself or at least her mouth away from the impatient man but kept failing until she squeezed his jaw firmly in her grip. It wasn’t like the god could be stopped by this little human but he respected her wish and sort of enjoyed it when she bossed around.

“How?” She raised a brow while demanding her answer.

“I hurd yur thughts,” Loki managed to utter through squeezed cheeks and puckered lips.

“You heard my thoughts? You read my mind?!” She released his face only to hit his arm. “How dare you?”

“Love, I did not mean to! But you were sitting there all by yourself, looking so sad, and I was completely focused on you, trying to understand what was hurting you, and they just floated towards me - your thoughts! They were so loud that I did not even have to try! Forgive me for breaching your privacy. But believe me, darling, I never meant to!”

Here was Loki trying to convince her of his unadulterated intentions, but she had lost him the moment he called her ‘love’. Everything else was a blur, a beautiful but muted music floating through the air from a distance, spreading like mist, on a quiet winter night.

“That’s alright,” she smiled giddily. “I’m glad you read my mind.”

But Loki needed further assurance. “You are not angry?”

“Nope! Not at all.”

Upon hearing her confirmation, he let out a long breath.

“Now,” she toyed with the sleeve of his shirt, “where were we?”

A small laugh, mingled with both relief and joy, escaped the trickster. “In the middle of the first of a zillion kisses, I believe?”

“Hmm,” with the most ecstatic grin possible, she balanced herself on Loki’s strong frame and stood on her tiptoes to finish what a mischievous mistletoe had started.

***

Taglist:

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[sensei-venus]

Serpent-Cide (2/?)

(Unedited) (IDK what to tag for this chapter.)

(Part One|Part Two|Part Three|TBA|)

Veronica’s gaze seemed to stare into my soul to a point thought she was trying to read my thoughts. Though she wouldn't find many at this point. My only thought in the moment was trying to find a way out of this shitty situation.

“Reader can you please come over here, I have a list of students for you as well. You will need to show them around for the next week or so until they are acclimated.” she said with a serious tone. She waved a piece of paper around, pointing it in my direction. I chewed on the inside of my cheek. A few drops of blood welled in my mouth as I looked at her, but I knew people where looking at me now. I could feel their states, from both sides of the room.

This is what I dreaded about even doing this stupid thing.

Now I really did wish I would have just skipped this whole gawk feast.

I gently clawed at my backpack straps and walked over to them. Archie stepped out of the way so I could reach the other girl. I quickly and quietly took the paper from her hand. She gave only a small almost emotionless smile. It was like there was nothing there. No real feeling behind the borderline dead smile. Girls like Veronica, like Cheryl, were really good at faking those little smiles.

Just looking at her like that made me shiver a little. I tried my best to suck it up and pretend I couldn't tell it wasn't real.

Cheryl scoffed from a foot or so away from us and rolled her eyes.

“Oh of course you guys had to get tubby involved in this mess. Can't believe you talked Little Miss Lard Ass into coming out and helping you with this little degenerate fest your having.” she laughed. It echoed through the hallway. A few people laughed alongside her but I didn't pay much attention to it. It wasn't the first time she or any of these other assholes made a fat joke about me. Wasn't the first and wouldn't be the last time she heard it out of one of their mouths. I simply rolled my eyes and kept reading the paper I was given.

“Yeahhhh Cheryl, Lard Ass is just a tad bit warmer than the soul-sucking succubus that you are these days. These people came to get an education, not to get their souls ripped from their bodies in order to feed your ever-growing ego.” I muttered. It was loud enough that she scoffed in pure shock. A few people around me laughed, Betty paled a little while Veronica smirked a little. Archie’s seemed to zip his lip at the comment.

I looked up from the paper to find Cheryl glaring at me, her face turing that classic cherry red of hers. She almost looked to be steaming which was a sight for sour eyes. Digging myself into a hole with one of the biggest people in town was horrible to think about, but at this point, I didn't want to think too hard about it. Staying out of the spotlight was my thing, but dipping my toe into some drama every once in a while to piss someone like Cheryl off was worth it.

Being able to infuriate a girl like Cheryl Blossom was a treat.

A small look of genuine confusion seemed to cross some of the newcomer's faces. I didn't expect them to understand how my words burned the other girl so badly. But they would eventually learn the food chain of the school. It was just a matter of time. I could only imagine what SouthSide High’s food chain looked like. It was probably even more nasty than the one here. We had to deal with rich kids and steroid junky jocks.

They had to deal with gangbangers and regular junkies.

Both Reggie and Cheryl made a loud exit as they grew board of their surroundings. Realizing their little game was getting old for the time being.

“Any of you do a thing out of line, I'll know about it.” She hissed. Soon enough she was storming up the stairs with a group of cheerleaders. Reggie smirked in my direction. I felt like gagging at the sight. He was quick to follow Cheryl, some of the jocks close behind. The sound of their voices boomed up the staircase.

My attention was drawn back to the paper in my hand.

I felt kinda of lucky after reading over the list, I only had about four people to look after. I did find it comical that they decided to stick Jughead with me. Poor guy was already a student, he left a few weeks ago and now he's back. It's as if he was never even a student at the school, treating him like some no-name transfer student.

Said once and I'll say it again, this school blows.

The next few minutes went by in a blur as the new students flooded the table. Snatching up paper after paper until the whole table was completely picked over and cleaned. Not one single schedule or map was left. It was only a few minutes later that the excitement started to slowly die down. Small groups of southsiders started to line the hall, talking with each other and going over their schedules together. It was clear that most of them seemed to be hoping to stick together.

Wishing to be put into the same classes as one another. I could feel for them in that since, being stuck into a new school surrounded by kids that hated them already. Not just because they where in a gang, but because they came from a different side of town that was labeled a shit hole.

I tried my best to not look at them with pity, but it was hard. It was hard not to feel bad for them.

I sighed to myself and looked at the paper one more time. There was only a small scene of relief that filled me as I found one particular name, it stuck out like a thumb.

Jughead Jones, types in a bold black font.

My eyes where quick to scan the small crowed, finding his iconic beanie. That thing was like a beacon. The guy has been wearing that things since…forever? I can still remember seeing him in middle school wearing the same exact hat. He occasionally switched some of the pins on it every once in a while. But I could tell that it was the same one.

Jug and me where decent acquaintance, possibly better then my relationship with Betty. JugHead didn’t bother to make a friendship with me what so ever. He hardly asked questions, didn’t try to insert himself into my business and didn’t make a big effort to go out of his way to bother me.

Sitting in silence was good enough for the both of us.

Which was just what I wanted.

My feet carried me over to him and the little group he was talking to. Four of them stud talking about something in a small circle in whispers. As soon as I made my presence know they separated.

Looking at Jug I raised a brow, no longer did he act like the guy I knew. His stance and posture were looser than usual, more toned. He stood taller with his shoulders proud and strong.

Did Jughead grow more of a backbone sense I last saw him? Maybe hanging out in the southside did something for him. Out of nowhere I got a feeling, it made the hairs on the back of my neck stick up. Maybe Jughead finally ended up following in his dad’s footsteps. It wasn’t that out there of a possibility.

“Really can't believe they roped you into doing this. What did they threaten you with this time? It's got to be something big to get you to hang around anyone in this school.” Jug mused as he looked by way. His eyes filled with a bit of amusement. His natural sarcasm seemed to ooze out. I rolled my eyes saying “ They threatened me using the stupid ass volunteer hours, apparently I don't have any for this semester. It was either I do this or they pull something out of a hat to get me with at the end of the year. And as you can tell, no one was exactly jumping to get this opening.” I crossed my arms. He didn't say mush to that, only giving a small nod. The guy behind him, the one with the tattoo on his neck didn't seem to get it.

“What are you to scared of us? Like the rest of you shitty northsiders!” the guy almost barked. Once again rage seemed to flare up inside him, quickly bursting out of the seems. He definitely had some minor anger issues going on. His brows knitted together and his adams apple bobbed. I tried my best not to flinch at his harsh tone. Jug looked like he wanted to say something but it died on his tongue.

I snapped back “You think I really fucking care? Half of these kids have only heard about the southside, they haven't even left the this side of the tracks their whole lives. The only reason why they make a big deal about it is because it's a chain reaction of the rich people on the northside wanting to show off how classiest they are. You think I've been to the southside?” the guy was silent.

“Iv seen a bit of it but have never actually been. Last time I checked, Southsiders don't make a huge habit of coming all the way over here for fun. Iv never done anything to you guys and you haven't done anything to me. So, once again, why the fuck should I care about any of you so long as you aren't messing with me?” my tone was slightly aggravated with a sense of boredom backing it. It wasn't every day someone tried to pick a real fight with me.

Then again I had never actually met a real southside serpent before. 

There was a long pause of silence between all five of us. We all just stud around, not another word being uttered. Jughead cut the act for a moment and scratched at the back of his head. Seeming to be a bit embarrassed at the other teens outburst, even the girl next to him seemed annoyed. Unlike Jug she seemed to be more use to his outbursts, she simply rolled her eyes at him.

“Reader I-”

“No I get it Jughead, they're being cautious. But-” I paused and looked at the taller boy “Just know that I probably dislike this school and the people in it just as much as them. I don't like this school, I don't like the kids, and most of all I don't give two shits about this town. If you want to start something, take that crap to the jocks not me.” he stepped back a little bit. His face was ever so slightly relaxed. Just enough that the crease in his brow disappeared. I could still see the way his ears flushed under his dark black locks. His gaze shifted from me to the guy beside him, the shorter serpent gave him a hard look. They stared at each other for a good minute before he finally relaxed.

Jaw locked hard as he just looked back in my direction.

Shuffling a little I handed the paper still held to Jughead. He took a moment and looked it over before handing it back.

“So you got me and these guys.” he threw a thumb behind him.

“Im guessing, if you have a Toni, Fang and Sweet Pea??” I said with a little bit of question at the end. I wanted to question the name Fang but I also wanted to know the reason behind Sweet Pea. Fang was an interesting name, to say the least. But Sweet Pea? That was both sweet and odd. It wasn't a very comment nickname to my knowledge, maybe a sweet endurance kinda of thing. Never had I met someone who actually went by the nickname before on a daily basis. The girl tried to hold back a snicker, covering her mouth with her jacket sleeve which didn't go unnoticed by the others. She was quick to cough trying to cover her slip-up.

“If we could just all chill out for one second, please. Reader isn't a threat to the serpents, I can cover her on that.” Jug said looking back at his friends. They all kinds looked at each other, thinking on if they could actually trust his word. Seconds later it looked like they had reached some sort of unspoken argument. The other three nodded to one another before looking back at me.

“So do you want my help or not? Knowing you Jughead, this is a cake walk being you have already gone to school here. Do you want me to help your little friends or not? I still have to do something to at least look a little busy like I'm actually helping you guys out.” the idea to leave all of that stuff up to Jughead crossed my mind. He was smart, he could do all the stuff the school wanted me to help out with. But then it felt kinda of mean to just dump it all on him. There were three different people he would have to show around school and then to all their classes. I may be a ass in my own right but…it just seemed wrong.

“How about we split it? I already know where all of my classes are. Let's check their schedules, I'll take who ever has most of my classes and you take the ones who have more of your classes. Deal?” he quirks a brow my way. I give a small nod and watch as he collects the other's class schedules. Stepping over to me we both check over their papers.

A spark of hope went through me as I noticed only one of them seemed to have a good portion of classes with me.

Sweet Pea.

“Seems like I'll be taking Sweet Pea off your hands then.” I gave a half smile to Jug. All he did was him before stuffing the other papers into his friend's hands again. Looking over them again my eyes land on the girl. She gave me a smile but before I could even give one back, my hopes of being stuck with another girl were dashed.

The tattooed boy stepped out of the group and walked closer to me.

I could feel my eye begging to twitch behind my eyelid.

Why the fuck did “Sweet Pea” have to be what looked to be a six-three-tattooed man. One who just minutes ago was trying to get into my face.

“Well this is Sweet Pea. I'll trust you will be as nice as YOU can possibly be right. No bumping him in the hallway when you get tired of him. I know your way.”

“Please tell me you're not still mad when I left your ass in the gym that one time because you wouldn't take the hint to leave me alone.”

“Maybe I am, just a tiny bit.” he said with a bit of annoyance. Leave it to Jug to be still pissed about such a little thing.

“Now Sweet Pea, try not to bite off her head. We will meet you at lunch.” He said looking up at the other boy. Sweet Pea rolled his eyes as he watched Jughead start walking off. The girl who I could only now assume was Toni patted him on the shoulder before following Jug. Fang grinned at him and just laughed, giving him a hard slap to the should before jogging off to catch up with the other two. Sweet Pea grimaced as he watched them leave. His eyes trailed down the hall until they disappeared around a sharp corner. I couldn't help but do the same, watching them go.

“So are you going to show me around this place or what?” his voice made me shiver. It was deep and echoed. It wasn't thick but rang in my ear as he spoke. The angriness from his voice had long died. Now all that filled it was sarcasm and mischief. It was laced into a simple statement. 

“Your going to be a pain in the ass aren't you?”

All he did was smirk before ripping his schedule from my hands.

I can't have nice things can I.

(Don't worry y'all, Sweet Pea will have more attention next chapter promise! We just have to work up to it. This is a slow-building fix.😚)

[splanana-bitz]

Apologies to my mutuals (or anyone else that cares) but I really need to disappear from the internet for a little bit, at least until post-election panic somewhat calms down.

I stressed myself out way too bad this past week or so, thanks to doom-scrolling, and will only worsen it if I stay online right now. But a few words of advice for my friends, mutuals, or anyone who needs to hear this (even if it's already been said):

We don't know for sure what will happen. Yes, I know it's scary to think about the possibility of Project 2025, but as far as I know, it feels, at the very least, mildly unrealistic, and I doubt that congress, senate, etc. would let half the shit on this project slide. We have ammendments and documents for a reason (to help prevent total control). We just have to trust that these people have half a brain to realize how unconstitutional Project 2025 is. Yet, am I fully certain it won't happen? No. If anything, there is still a likely chance it will. But all you can do is just hope and do NOT dig yourself into a hole of "what ifs" and doom scenarios. Be prepared and keep tabs, but please do NOT make your sadness and stress worse.

In the potential event that it does get implemented and push comes to shove; Retaliate. Fight back. Protest. Do whatever you can do to push back against it. Idk how effective this method is going to be this time around, but in the end, doing something is better than nothing. People before us had to do it, and we shouldn't be the generation that just gives up and lets it happen. You're allowed to be angry and sad, but please don't let it render you incapable. Be sad and angry WHILE fighting back. Don't ever, EVER give up.

Quit doom-scrolling. It's been said before, but if you are beyond belief stressed, please- Get off social media for a while. Take a walk. Pet your dog, cat, bird, etc., eat your comfort foods, watch your favorite media, indulge in your productive hobbies or other fixations that bring you joy.

Please don't let defeatism win. And I know it's hard right now, but please do NOT. GIVE. UP. There is still hope and if not for yourself, at least keep going for others and to see the end of whatever this presidency will bring (cos again, nothing for certain has been decided yet). Outlive whatever enemy it is we may deal within these next 4 years.

Trump cannot and should not be able to run again after his presidency is over in 2028, due to the 22nd ammendment. I know that feels like an incredibly long time away, but once these next 4 years are over, Trump shouldn't and can't have that power anymore. It is horrifying to think of what may come, but the hope is perhaps we can do damage control once he's out of office if he ends up fucking things up to that bad of a degree.

Idk...maybe this isn't helpful- Maybe Idk what I'm talking about, but I'd rather leave some of you with this than leave in a panic.

I wish everyone a good day/night - Take care of yourself - Don't give up and don't stress yourself out - Let's just hope for the best, do what we can, live for today, and 'fuck it, we ball.'

[nrc-confessions]

Okay here’s the whole story I apologize greatly for how long this is

So today I was cooking lunch for myself at Scarabia, (I sometimes have to cook for myself if the cafeteria doesn’t have any of my safe foods that day) and I heard someone enter the kitchen. The dorm was mostly empty so I expected it to just be some other Scarabia student I’ve never met or smth

Lo and behold, it wasn’t, it was Kalim

Me and him share a class idk if I’ve said that (new spider anon lore 🤯) and he’d gotten injured during P.E this morning so I figured he was at the dorm as well, but I assumed he’d be in his room. It wasn’t anything bad he just fell off his broom and got kinda bruised up but Jamil was still flipping his shit

ANYWAY I finished cooking and ended up sharing some food w Kalim (side note he’s eaten my food before and I’m always rlly touched abt it bcuz Ik he struggles w eating food that Jamil didn’t cook and just knowing he trusts me that much is hnnnnnng) and once we finished eating he asked if I wanted to go carpet flying

I knew he was exempt from class bcuz he got hurt but I still very much had to go to class around this time, but I was not about to miss this opportunity so alchemy be damned

We’ve gone carpet flying once or twice before but from what I understand Kalim takes rlly anyone he feels like carpet flying (including paw anon fuck you calliope I havent forgiven you) so I didn’t think too much of it but at this point I was already gay panicking so this didn’t help

Anyway we get on the carpet n all that and I was kinda starting to zone out of a few reasons, the main being i have a slight fear of heights and I was kinda exhausted cuz I’ve had a tough past couple weeks but I was also zoning out bcuz I tend to do that while in close proximity to kalim

So I went kinda quiet and just hoped he’d keep talking and wouldn’t notice (also bcuz I love listening to him ramble) but he went quiet after a second too and then asked if I was okay, and I quickly said I was fine and went back to being silent but he didn’t keep talking so it was kinda awkward for a second THEN HE FUCKIN “are you sure you’re okay, habibi?” And I almost fell off the carpet

I made a comment abt how I was just rlly tired and ended up kinda rambling then I rambled a bit too far and said like ‘and you know how I get around you’ but I laughed it off and hoped he didn’t notice but he DID and HE TOOK IT THE WEONF WAY cuz he assumed that meant I didn’t like being around him??? And so I tried to elaborate without outing myself which was rlly hard and I think he caught on but he didn’t say anything so I just kept talking and digging myself a deeper hole but then (this is where I get really pathetic) I looked at him and he just had the most gentle patient expression on his face and I just started sobbing bcuz no one’s ever looked at me like that and i can’t properly process my emotions NORMALLY much less when it’s him then he kinda panicked a little bit but then he hugged me out of nowhere and I was NOT okay but I also kinda needed it so I just kinda sat there and cried into his shoulder for a few minutes and he was like whispering things some of it was in English some of it was in Arabic and I don’t know if it was making me cry harder or helping but he was like running his fingers through my hair and I just couldn’t take it anymore and I completely lost grasp of my emotions and ended up saying I love you without even realizing it then as soon as I realized it I panicked and let go of the hug and apologized but he just put his hands on my face and looked at me with his pretty fucking eyes and said it was okay and I lost all ability to breathe

Anyway he kinda like came closer and I was expecting him to hug me again but then he like moved his hand to my shoulder and used the other one to move my hair out of my face and I just completely lost it everything I did from here on is a blurry haze I was fueled by exhaustion and Gay panic but I lunged forward and kissed him AND HE KISSED BACK AND PUT HIS HANDS IN MY HAIR AND I STARTED CRYING AGAIN but then he brought thr carpet back down and I ran off to class and I’m currently typing this while half listening to Crewel yell at me but uh that happened

-🕷️

Thank you for your confession!

[astro-can]

pfft what are you talking about I don't overthink that much

also me whenever I meet a new person at my new school:

person: hey what's up?

me: oh hey, I'm good. fuck I should have said hi not hey because now it seems like i'm copying them. how about you?

person: oh, I'm pretty good. what's your name?

me: oh i'm *name*, wbu?

person: my name is *idk*! so, what are some of your hobbies?

me: hobbies? HOBBIES? oh I have plenty of hobbies I like reading but if I say that then they're going to ask what kind of books I read and then i'll have to tell them I read whatever's trending because I can't tell them I read manga bc I would seem like a weeb and then they would think I'm one of those booktok girls who like dark romance when in reality i'm still stuck in my 12-year-old Percy Jackson and demonslayer phase, if I tell them that I like drawing then theres like a 80% chance that they're going to ask to see my drawings which I can't show them because I only draw my silly little ocs and anime characters and cartoons and that's embarrassing to show to other people, I can't say I like writing because they might ask what kind of things I write about and I can't say "oh I write fanfiction" because that's stupid and if they really want to know what kind of stuff I like to write about, then I would tell them the entire plot of the 3294673964932 stories I'm writing but then I might scare them off--

me: oh haha I like reading...and drawing.... FUCK WHY DID I SAY THAT AHHHHHHHH

person: oh cool! what kind of books do you read?

me: ummm just whatever's trending FUCK IM SO BAD AT THIS

person: cool, do you like music?

me: yeah totally!

person: what kind of music do you listen to? maybe rec me some artists?

me: WHAT DO I SAY I can't say that I like kpop because they're going to think i'm weird and a koreaboo even though i'm actually Korean but would they know that its kpop if I recommended a kpop artist? would they know txt? what if they search txt up in front of me right now and then they say "oh is this bts?" what do I do? if I say I like conon gray or taylor swift, i'll seem too basic. will they think i'm gay if I say chapell roan? well, I AM gay but that's not something I want to tell someone when i've first met them, especially since I don't know if they're an ally or not. ok, so what if I say mitski? would they think i'm depressed? would they ask if i'm ok? would I seem like a basic white teenager? I should just say mitski and lyn lapid those are my best choices--

me: oh I like mitski...chapell roan... FUCK I WAS SUPPOSED TO SAY LYN NOT CHAPELL IM GOING TO GO DIG MYSELF A HOLE what about you?

person: oh really? I like *music artist that I probably haven't listened to the music to before, probably someone like the weeknd or some rapper*

me: oh yeah I love the Weeknd too I have never listened to the Weeknd before i'm going to kms

person: anyways nice talking to you

me: was it really? was it really nice? am I nice? was I pleasant enough? did I stutter? did I fidget too much? oh shit, should I fix my hair? would they think I'm flirting with them if I tuck my hair behind my ear? oh gosh they're going back to their friends what if they're trash talking me what if they hate me and i've already ruined my reputation even though i've barely been here a month. i should've complimented them! I should've told them that I loved their hair or something....

yup that's basically my entire thought process. there's more but I can't write it all out because i'm not actually in a situation like that rn but that's the gist of it. help

[chevelleneech]

idk if you saw but jhope posted a photo with a israel supporter, a zionist , thats just disgusting, sometimes i think why do we even care about these 7 men, like why do we like them as people when we dont even know anything about them, they coudl be israel genocide supporters for all we know, i mean hybe is heavily investing in scooter, disney , and working with all the other pro israel people, and then we say oh they are great people, uhhh these past few montsh have shown that they are not, or have a good possibility that they are not, i mean v posting mcdonalds pics when he must have known teh current situation, hobi with pharell, working with zionists. so we dont even know them, why do we even like them as people, prob should just focus on music , but thats kpop industry it makes you care for teh idols, who are not what they seem to be.

Honestly, at this point with this photo, bts are just digging teh hole for themselves. They write lyrics for social justice and do these stuff. its just crazy man. Like they dont have to be politicians or be having to actively activise for palestine or against zionism, but they can at the very least try to not post pictures or spread or support zionist supporters? or work with them, that much control they must have with themselves. i mean ist not about making music or be polictical but just have certain morals as a decent human being.

I measn sorry, but are they srsly so stupid ? or is South Korea just as backward as North Korea that they can't read or be concerned with world happenings while being in the military or they just cant read news in military. how can a person be seriously this unaware i have no idea.

I have also seen (aside from stupid stuff like what happened with Suga when he apologized, they (bts/hybe) dont concerned with themselves to address any of the things they might have done like these on serious important matters, least recently in the past few years. when they were struggling, they used to. why do we even appreciate these mans morals that we seen on a tv on screen, who knows how they are inside, or like are they just born yesterday and plain ignorant (latter is even worse like ignoring while having knowledge about it)

sry for the rant (i have so far stayed away from this and tried to see from bts side, and be rational but this was just so fucking nonchalant and ignorant of hobi i cant stop myself )

I won’t comment on all the stuff you posted here, because I think some of it is outside my wheelhouse, but overall I do agree.

If they aren’t going to speak up for Palestine, the least they could do is not actively show support for people and entities standing in solidarity with Zionist ideals. I know I’ve not been the best at boycotting everything, but I haven’t been streaming Hybe artists, haven’t been buying from food chains essentially bragging about supporting Israel, and have been doing my best in retweeting and reposting Palestinian voices.

Hobi posting his pics with Pharrell and Joon commenting under it, sucks, flat out. Tae posting McDonald’s despite the year since the boycotts began, sucks. Jin working with Zionist companies, sucks. Jimin and JK working with Zionist artists, suck, and yeah, I do think it’s fair to say they aren’t standing up for what they claim to believe in. I do want to give them room to speak up once they’re out of the military, even Jin, because his words can still cause them backlash, but again… posting Zionist affiliates while in is not a necessity.

The members are actively choosing to stand in solidarity with people who either blatantly or passively want Palestinians dead, and aren’t posting anything to showcase their support of the opposite. It’s not an example of who they shaped themselves to be, unless they’ve always been pro-genocide and ethnic cleansing. Or unless they’ve always been uncaring, and only pretended for the aesthetic. Hopefully we’ll get an answer by the time they’re all discharged.

Regardless, if this is something you choose to step away from them for, you won’t find judgment here. My morals are not without flaw, but I completely understand anyone who decides BTS aren’t worth waiting for in this context. It’s smart business to stand with Zionists, which is honestly why I think so many celebs and companies are. I don’t think they give two fucks about the actual issue, which might be naïve of me, but I don’t think anyone in BTS or Justin Bieber or fucking Usher have thought about Palestinians right to live freely on their land, once in their life.

Which, if they stood with Palestine, would be fine. It’s okay to be unaware of a situation, learn about it, then state how wrong you think it is to bomb innocent people out of house, home, and history. It’s an entire other thing to not know, and either learn or read sparks notes, and stand with the terrorist bombing and colonizing people for no reason. I think these people and companies are looking out for their bottom line, but it speaks a shit ton about who they are inside, when the mass murdering of children isn’t enough to turn down a paycheck.

[yakultii]

i don't feel anything , i don't feel hurt even when my own people hurt me and it scares me so much that i don't cry im not sad i feel nothing

its not me

its scary to me , do You think my heart is dead?

imo if your heart was dead you would not be able to recognise that what you are feeling is not “you”(assuming there is some sort of longing here to get back to you)

I’ve been here many times before and I think sometimes our brains are doing their best to protect us by not letting us feel - even if it’s been a long long period of time (years, decades even) don’t underestimate how long pain can endure, but also know there will come a time it doesn’t feel like this anymore, you can get there! just because something has been some way for long so long doesn’t mean it won’t change.

if you have felt before, as implied when stating “it’s not me” then you will feel again.

I totally get it’s scary, but remember to hold it gently… a bit like the chinese finger trap in which if you react aggressively you dig yourself a deeper hole/get stuck, but if you eventually learn to react with a means acceptance and grace, you’ll find it’s a lot easier to slide your way out and slowly slowly merge back into yourself - not saying this is what you have to do cause we all on our own journey, but maybe something to consider when you’re ready?

Another thing that has helped as you probably know is really thinking about what im grateful for each day because even if I’m tricking myself into have some sort of feeling about something (through using logic rather than emotion) suddenly it starts to feel a little real and im like ok wait I might feel something

Maybe this is not at all helpful for your situation idk, but either way pls take care of yourself and don’t give up on yourself and keep hope in the back of your mind that one day you’ll feel again - sometimes people find it helpful to think of their life like it’s a movie and this is the part in the movie where the character is experiencing all the hardship and eventually they’re gonna feel all warm and fuzzy etc… even if you’ve felt this way for most (all) your life like I have I still think there’s a way to make this work, maybe your ending isn’t written exactly how you planned but it could end up being so much better yk like sometimes we think we know things and we don’t know things at all, quite literally unimaginable things can occur in the future, just stick around to see it even if that means just holding on for dear life rn despite not feeling anything at all <333

sorry for yapping yet again, I hope things will get better for you, but in the mean time stay existing, there’s still so much to learn about life without feeling (trust) you can feel again, stay moving forward the best u can ily okkkk

[crystalis]

hi ive been following u forever now but im afraid to come off anon because im nervous lol but have you ever been diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder? its something ive been diagnosed with and when i read ur post i see myself in u bc im going through the same struggles. i cant drive, work, communicate or really just be around anyone bc of how terrifying people can be and the intense fear of messing up and being seen as an embarrassment/failure. ive isolated myself for so long that my social skills has deteriorated and i can barely form a sentence without extreme anxiety and i have some language attrition. idk if ur seeing anybody for mental health or if you heard of avpd but its worth researching bc i sure as hell didnt know about it before my diagnoses and now i can understand myself a bit better + i found a community of people like me. avpd is more than just regular anxiety its like anxiety^2 with a significant impact on your social and career life. its deeply rooted in your psyche unlike anxiety that can eventually be “cured” with the right treatments. idk i hope im not coming off as rude sending this message its not my intention to make you feel ashamed or anything like that. i just want to let you know that ur not alone in ur experience and that people care about u. anyway i hope u have a good rest of ur day and that things get better for u

no ive never been diagnosed, but i know about avpd and i sorta looked into it several years ago..im sure that i have it but i dont see anyone abt it or know what to do to treat it. i really appreciate the solidarity & it helps a lot to not feel so alone, thank you for sending me this 🩷 i relate to your experience a lot too and theres like such intense feelings of hopelessness and despair about it and its so overwhelming (i know you understand). its totally paralyzing, like a pretrifying irrational fear of embarrassment and humiliation and its so powerful..& the feelings of incompetence and shame that come with it. especially as you age. and then you cant relate to people your age, or make friends, or form bonds with other people. and the feeling of incompetence leeches into every aspect of your life and warps your perception of yourself and your confidence/self esteem.. ive lost so many friendships and years of my life and it feels like i buried myself in such a deep hole that i dont know how to climb out of. but its safe and comfortable in this hole, so you dig yourself deeper. when youre alone, you can never feel humiliated or embarassed. you can never say the wrong thing or miscommunicate, or feel self conscious of the clothes that youre wearing or the way that youre standing or the way that youre walking or what your hair looks like or what youre doing with your hands or so on and so on. you dont feel incompetent or scared or ashamed when youre alone, and its a self destructive desire for solitude that you just cant escape from and the ramifications of it are really painful. because you DESIRE to communicate and desire to feel loved and feel like a normal human being and form bonds with others and desire to experience things and make memories. you dont make memories or have any memories when youre lost in the void