#idk how someone can go online and just... decide to say this
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funkopersonal · 7 months ago
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Pls block this person.
They literally found my account, told me to kill myself, not once but twice, and then went into a post where i was asking for advice on my bat mitzvah and told me to kill myself once more.
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So um... yea thats all i wanted to say today. bye bye
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lunarharp · 10 months ago
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wip thing...
of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)
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they mean the world to me
#bg3 spoilers#?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say.....#it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me.#i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee#i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable.#bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen#makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there.#dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it#augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH????#my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way.#Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3#I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE#AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY#grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear#truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol#if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life#being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer.#Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this?#For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online#someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this.#why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness?#What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...?#hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!!#i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful.#but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting.#I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself#I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing.#I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come.#Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......
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wasabikitcat · 4 months ago
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Has anyone in this Olympics women's boxing argument ever stopped and thought about whether it would make any sense for women to be more susceptible to being injured in boxing than men? Like sure, it's a fairly common assumption that men are physically stronger than women, and therefore a man would have an advantage at boxing because he can punch harder... But how would that make you more resilient to being punched in the nose? Like I would think the assumed advantage would be that women can't hit as hard and therefore would require more effort to take someone down, but what everyone is arguing over is a woman having her nose broken from a punch to the face, when a man's nose would be just as broken from the same punch. Women don't have like, daintier and weaker facial bones or something. Being punched in the face "by a man" when you're a woman is literally no different than being punched in the face by the same person as a man. If we are to assume that men (note: the person being debated about here isn't a man or even a trans woman, she is cisgender, but I digress) are so Herculean that their punches are just too dangerous for women, then men's boxing should be banned outright because it's just too dangerous for men to be punching each other with that strength when a punch to the face is exactly the same for a man as it is to a woman.
#this is my second time making an original post about this because it's just so so stupid of a thing for us to be arguing about#ive had arguments with terfs where i brought up how chromosomes are not always accurate and they always say#'oh well if they have a vagina then we can tell intersex women are women'#but now im seeing a slew of people saying that xy means you are undebatably a male and xx is always female#and that that's the defining feature that decides sex and having a y chromosome is inherently an advantage no matter what#and like. WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TEST SHE FAILED!! We don't know her chromosomes! we don't know what's in her pants!!#there is ZERO reason to believe that she is lying about anything or that she has an intersex condition#other than the one organization banning her for reasons they have not fully revealed because they are shady as fuck#but even if she did have an intersex condition I THOUGHT YOU GUYS SAID THAT IT DIDN'T MATTER AND THAT YOU COULD TELL????#i thought you could always tell! now I'm seeing 'oh she was misidentified at birth' THAT'S NOT ALWAYS TELLING NOW IS IT THEN???#if someone can go their entire life being raised female without knowing they are intersex (which is something that is not highly uncommon)#then you can't 'always tell.' or maybe 'we can always tell' just means 'i assume things about peoples lives based on their appearance'#'and anyone who does not fit a white eurocentric standard of feminine is a man because i say so.'#terfs are just so exceedingly stupid it makes me want to rip my hair out.#even my self identified conservative parents think this whole debate is stupid as hell. like they aren't even being 'dad ally' about it#with the 'oh i don't care what happens in your own home' way. i mean this is one issue we are completely unified on here.#the issue being that people arguing about this woman's gender are absolutely delusional.#sorry for ranting on main. this actually does piss me off because I fucking told every terf ive ever argued with online#that this is all going to end with people staging witch hunts against completely cisgender women#who have done nothing other than not fit their expectations of femininity. and they always said 'we can always tell so it won't happen.'#and now we've reached that point and they've all fried their brains so hard that they don't even realize it. actual cult mindset.#idk im done ranting now. this is why you never argue with stupid people on the internet i guess.
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bad268 · 9 months ago
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can I request a clingy Kimi Antonelli
where he’s obsessed with kissing reader and overall being affectionate to the point he does not want to let go of her before the race and Toto is like “leave the poor girl alone Kimi” while Susie is like “you were like that before”.
HELP IDK HOW TO END THIS BUT YA ALSO LOVE YOUR WORKS 💗💗💗
Clingy Antonelli (Andrea Kimi Antonelli X Reader)
Clingy Antonelli Universe
Fandom: RPF/Formula 2/3
Requested: Clearly (I loved this too much lol I'd be down to do a Clingy Antonelli series and we need some fluff after this race lol)
Warnings: none.
POV: Second POV (You/your, but it does say 'poor girl' once)
W.C. 1025
Summary: Sweet reunions bring Clingy Antonelli to the surface.
As always, my requests are OPEN
MASTERLIST // HITLIST
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~~(^Pinterest)
It was a common occurrence that you were in the paddock with Kimi. Ever since you decided to attend school entirely online, you were by his side, and it may (or may not) have been because of the begging you received from Kimi.
It started when he was in karting, and he just wanted someone familiar to talk to. Then, when he moved to championships, he was always one of the youngest ones competing, and it was weird being the odd one out. Around the same time, you were given the option to switch to online school. He begged you to do it, so you could travel with him. How could you say no?
Not to mention, you loved taking pictures, especially of your favorite person, and PR from both Prema and Mercedes would pay you for some of the pictures. It was just easier to pay you since you always took pictures of Kimi. 
But that’s beside the point. You were doing what you normally did whenever Kimi was a guest on the F1 paddock: sit beside him silently as he listened in on a meeting. Sure, it was not your favorite thing to do, but it was a standard. And most of the time, the meetings did not even concern Kimi; he just had to sit in them because he was their junior driver.
You were sitting in the back of the room, holding his hand and not paying attention at all. That is until Kimi started pulling at your hand to get your attention. You turned your head and met his eyes. The look he gave you was one you recognized immediately, a silent plea for you to sit on his lap. With a joking sigh, you moved onto his lap as he smiled laid his head on your shoulder after giving you a kiss on your cheek.
“You’re more clingy today,” you whispered to him, “What’s up?”
“You’re going to leave for two weeks,” he complained as his arms tightened around your waist. “I know you miss your family and friends, but I won't see you again until right before the race.”
“Don’t worry, amor (love),” you consoled as you rubbed his arms, leaning further back into his hold. “I’ll be back before you know it, and we’ll be back traveling in no time.”
“Yay,” he chuckled before cutting himself short, “And I’m not clingy.”
“Oh come on,” you replied in disbelief, turning your head to meet his eyes. “Clingy Antonelli is my favorite.”
~~
Despite being with your family for once, Kimi would call you at any chance he could. He just needed to hear your voice and see you before doing anything racing-related. It was one of his superstitions, and you did not plan on standing in the way of it. 
Flash forward to when you finally came back. Due to the time difference, it was only 12 hours from the last time you talked to Kimi, but for him, it was nearing 20 hours. He knew that he had to give you space at some points, but this? Nope. He was sure that your plane should have landed ages ago, yet you still were not on the track. You had yet to answer his calls or texts, and he was starting to get anxious. 
He was pacing around the garage, half listening to his strategy team go over the plan for the race. He half-registered some Mercedes personnel walk into the garage but did not think anything of it since he remembers them saying they wanted to see him in action this weekend. Little did he know it was Toto and Susie Wolff in the flesh. They talked a little bit with the team before they turned their attention to Kimi.
“Is he always this nervous before a race?” Susie asked Toto, knowing that he had seen Kimi racing in FRECA before, but she did not remember him saying that Kimi got nervous.
“Not that I remember,” Toto responded just as confused before he turned to Kimi’s race engineer with a questioning look, gesturing in Kimi’s area.
“He’s missing his lucky charm,” Anthoine laughed, shaking his head. It’s said when you talk about someone, they appear, and that’s exactly what happened. Like clockwork, Kimi’s head snapped toward the garage door as he heard your unmistakable laugh. Kimi immediately took off, trying to find you. It did not take long because you were right around the corner, about to walk in with Ollie. Kimi wasted no time, picking you up in a tight embrace as he peppered kisses all over your face. Anthoine chuckled again as he pointed at the two, “Oh, look. They’re back.”
They all let you have your moment in peace. Kimi needed it. His nerves were through the roof, everyone could tell, so despite knowing that he needed to get in the car as soon as possible, they stepped back. The last thing they needed was an anxious driver on the track.
You could not even hear what Kimi was saying, just a bunch of anxious thoughts coming to light. You let him rant as much as he needed before he finally set you down and placed a long kiss against your lips. He pulled away all too quickly for your liking before leaning against your forehead, whispering, “you’re never leaving me again.”
“My flight got delayed, and my phone died,” you whispered back as he went back to placing butterfly kisses all over your face. “I wanted to call you.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” he sighed, hiding his face in your neck and breathing you in “You’re here now, and that’s what matters.”
“Leave the poor girl alone, Kimi,” You heard a voice behind Kimi chuckle, causing you to look over his shoulder. It was Toto and Susie Wolff, which caused your eyes to widen and your face grew red in embarrassment. Immediately, Susie’s arm came up to smack Toto in the shoulder.
“Oh, leave them alone,” She countered, “You were just like that before we were married.”
“Oh, he’s just being Clingy Antonelli,” you laughed, nervously. “I’ll get him into the car, don’t worry.”
~~~
Part 2 ->
Series masterlist
~~~~~
© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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leahwllmsn · 1 year ago
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16,904
leah williamson x reader
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Melbourne
October, 2023
You finally tell your friends that you’ve been talking to someone you met online on a Friday night. The response you got is that they all think you're crazy, and you can’t blame them—saying that you have a tiny crush on this blonde who’s almost twice your height and likes football and country music without actually knowing if this said blonde exists is kind of crazy.
But you really do like talking to Leah and you could only hope that Leah is Leah and not some fifty-year-old man. 
“You don’t even know what she looks like,” one of your friends snorts. 
“It’s not always about the looks,” you argue.
“That’s true,” another one of your friends chimed in. “But you gotta admit, the looks matter a lot.”
You were about to correct her and say no, they do not, because yeah, sure, Leah is so freaking gorgeous based on the pictures on her profile, but what matters the most is that she’s so kind, and funny, and just overall amazing.
Instead you kept your mouth shut. A part of you don’t want to share Leah with anyone just yet. 
(And another part of you still needs the confirmation that that is actually Leah because god damn it Leah is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen and you wish that it’s really her.)
6 Oct, 9:02 pm
y/n: I told my friends about you. they think it’s weird that I’m starting something with you when we’ve never met  
y/n: it’s not weird, is it? 
leahw6: starting something huh? ;) 
y/n: shut up 
y/n: we met on tinder. what were you expecting to find? a math tutor? 
leahw6: ...  
leahw6: you’re really funny, love
leahw6: and no, it’s not weird 
y/n: good 
y/n: and for the record, even if they think it’s weird I couldn’t care less 
6 Oct, 9:25 pm
leahw6: just to be clear 
leahw6: ‘starting something’ that means you want to date me right 
y/n: how else could I mean that 
leahw6: idk maybe you were the one looking for a math tutor 
— 
London
October, 2023
“Where did you meet her again?”
“Tinder.”
“Tinder,” Lia repeats.
“Yes,” Leah nods. “When we were in Australia for the World Cup… I got bored one night and decided to go on Tinder.”
“And you found her there,” Lia muses, sipping on her cup of coffee. “Wait, so she lives in Australia?”
“Melbourne, yes.”
“And does she know you’re all the way here in London?”
Leah hesitates before answering. “No.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Oh boy,” Lia gives her a sympathetic look. “Does she know who you are?”
“Me… as in Leah?” Leah gives her teammate a confused look. “Yeah?”
“You as in you’re Leah Williamson.”
“Oh,” realization sunk in Leah’s face. “Then no. I mentioned I like football and she said she hates it. So, I doubt she knows who I am.”
“Oh boy.”
“I know,” Leah drops her head on the table. “I’ll tell her soon but what if it’s a deal breaker?” 
“Which part? The part where you’re a famous footballer or you live thousands of kilometers away?”
Leah grimaces “Distance problem. She already said she hates football and wouldn’t dare step foot in a football game, but it’s fine! That’s not a problem because I can and will convince her to watch one of my games.”
Lia laughs. “Sure, buddy.”
“I really like her,” Leah continues. “She’s funny and witty and passive aggressive sometimes but it’s so endearing. She has great taste in music, great taste in movies and books, and just great taste overall—”
Leah’s words get cut off with Lia’s hand on her mouth. “You’ve known her for a few weeks and this is already how you act?” Lia chuckles, taking her hand away. “You got it bad, Williamson.”
Leah groans. “I know.”
“Just tell her now. If she likes you the same way, I have a feeling that she wouldn’t mind either.”
24 Oct, 4:13 pm
leahw6: can we talk ?
y/n: sounds serious 
leahw6: kind of 
y/n: are you getting tired of me already :( 
leahw6: ofc not 
y/n: oh okay :D 
leahw6: idk how to say this 
y/n: do you want me to call you? 
leahw6: oh god no 
leahw6: omg wait 
leahw6: I didn’t mean that in a bad way I swear  
leahw6: it’s just that if you call me I’ll be hearing your voice for the first time and I’ll be even more nervous  
leahw6: and I don’t think I’ll be able to put out a coherent sentence bc I’ve been imagining so much what your voice would sound like with that face and all my guesses are that you have an extremely hot voice, raspy maybe?  
leahw6: but actually no I don’t think you have a raspy voice 
leahw6: a deep one maybe and holy shit a deep voice with an australian accent? I’ll faint on the spot I’m afraid  
leahw6: no you can’t call me 
y/n: okay...? 
leahw6: I’m really sorry please ignore all that 
y/n: I won’t ignore it, it’s adorable  
leahw6: you think I’m weird don’t you 
y/n: absolutely 
leahw6: great 
y/n: it just makes me like you even more
leahw6: I live in london 
y/n: as in the one in england … ? 
leahw6: is there another london I don’t know about 
[incoming call from y/n]
leahw6: why are you calling me ?! 
leahw6: I told you I’m too nervous rn 
y/n: I don’t get it. it says that you were 2km away? 
leahw6: yeah… I was on vacation… kind of...
y/n: kind of?
y/n: so you don’t actually live here? 
leahw6: y/n if I was only 2 km away from you I would make up excuses just so I can see you everyday 
y/n: how many km is it instead 
leahw6: between us?
leahw6: google says it’s 16,904 km
y/n: ??! holy shit 
leahw6: I know 
leahw6: look, I get it if you want to stop this. not everyone is cut out for long distance
y/n: we’re like
y/n: on opposite sides of the world
leahw6: I know
y/n: do you want to stop this? 
leahw6: I don’t 
y/n: then we won’t 
leahw6: are you sure 
y/n: let me call you 
leahw6: NO 
y/n: leah
leahw6: give me a day to prepare 
y/n: you’re so dumb
y/n: but fine 
y/n: do I at least get a facetime
leahw6: FACETIME? 
leahw6: no. you get a phone call. voice only
y/n: r u catfishing 
y/n: I knew it you’re too beautiful to be real 
leahw6: ha ha 
y/n: call me tomorrow okay lee? 
leahw6: okay
leahw6: and y/n
leahw6:  thank you
y/n: what for
leahw6: for giving us a chance
y/n: leah I’d be stupid not to 
Melbourne
November, 2023
You're in the middle of a meeting with boring, old men in suits when your phone rings—very loudly at that. You curse yourself for forgetting to put your phone on silent, quickly pressing the red circle on the screen, but not before smiling at the caller ID.
When the meeting finishes an hour later, you immediately pick up your phone and dial Leah’s number.
“Hey you.” 
You smile at the voice on the other end. “Sorry I couldn’t pick up. I was in a meeting.”
“Oh sorry, bad timing. Thought you were finished for the day”
“Bad timing indeed,” you chuckle. “It rang really loudly.”
“Y/n,” you could hear Leah’s soft giggles. “The silent feature exists for a reason.” 
“Yeah, yeah,” you take a seat in your office chair and sigh contently. “I’m glad it rang though.”
“How so?” 
“I saw your name and my mood instantly picked up.”
Leah snorts. “You’re such a sweet talker, mate.” 
You throw her head back in laughter. “But it’s true!”
Leah doesn’t say anything after that, all you could hear is the sound of chatter and honking of cars. “Where are you?”
“I just had breakfast, I’m walking to the… office.”
“You called me when you were having breakfast? Am I that much more interesting than whoever you were with?” you ask, your tone teasing.
“Of course you are,” is Leah’s reply and you could feel your stomach flipping upside down.
“Now who’s the sweet talker?”
“Still you.”
“Says the person who couldn’t stop telling me I’m pretty when we facetimed for the first time.”
Leah laughs and you really, really love the sound. “But you are pretty.”
“But I don’t think I need to hear it every five minutes.”
“Just accept the compliments, love.”
“Okay,” you relent, a grin spreading across your face. “Who did you have breakfast with?”
“Just my team– colleagues. My colleagues, Beth, Viv and Lia.”
You go silent for a few seconds, the last name ringing a bell in your head. “Lia as in your ex?”
“The one and only.”
“Oh.”
Leah must’ve sensed the jealousy in your voice (but honestly, you aren't jealous, you’re really not), because the next thing you know Leah is laughing and telling you that it didn’t work out between her and Lia because they were better off as friends.
“You see her everyday though,” you say, your voice less confident than before.
“And what about it?”
“You don’t see me everyday,” you pout, staring at a polaroid picture of Leah smiling at the camera that is stuck to the wall of your cubicle. Leah sent you a handwritten letter along with that picture a few days ago. Your roommate was the one who received it and it went something like this:
“Oh my god, there’s no way this is your Leah.”
“What?” 
“This! Is this really her?” 
“Is that Lee’s mail for me? Did you open it?!” 
“I got curious!” 
“Give me that!” 
“You never mentioned that she looks like this!” 
“I just haven’t shown you what she looks like ‘cause everyone kept on teasing me!” 
“Because she could be a fake for all we know! But holy shit, she’s soo stunning. Does she have a twin sister?”
“No.”
“A twin brother?” 
“No.” 
“Can I have her instead then?” 
“What the—no?!” 
“Fine, be stingy like that.” 
“...I’m really fine with us like this.”
You blink away images of your roommate in your head and focus your attention back to Leah’s voice. “What did you say?”
“I said I’m okay with not being able to see you everyday,” Leah repeats. “Talking to you over the phone is enough.”
You smile. “It’s enough for me too. It’d be great to have you next to me but this is good too.”
People would think otherwise but for you, having Leah a phone call away really is enough; you'd take hearing Leah's laughter through the phone than not hearing it at all.
10 Nov, 1:11 pm
y/n: I got a dog
leahw6: ???!! 
leahw6: Y/N CALL ME OMG 
leahw6: I WANT TO SEE 
y/n: you’re more excited to see him than me :// 
leahw6: YES 
y/n: excuse me 
leahw6: WHAT’S HIS NAME 
y/n: robert 
leahw6: ROBERT? 
y/n: yes, robert 
leahw6: he's now my favourite
leahw6: SEND PICS
y/n: :/ 
y/n:
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leahw6: you know you're my favourite too  
y/n: :D 
leahw6: but I think I like robert more than you OMG HE'S ADORABLE!!!!
y/n: bye 
��
London
December, 2023
leahw6:  want to hear a funny story
y/n:  what is it
leahw6:  a guy tried to hit on me tonight
y/n:  excuse me???
[incoming call from y/n] 
“That’s not funny,” is the first thing Leah hears once she accepts the call.
“Hello to you too,” Leah stifles a laugh. You sound tense and Leah can just picture the frown on your face.
“Leah.”
“Yes, babe?” Leah learnt that the quickest way to melt away your anger is to use pet names and so for any argument (even if Leah is in the wrong), Leah would always win.
This time it doesn’t seem to work. “How is that funny again?” 
“Darling, I’m just teasing you.”
“Did a guy really hit on you?”
“Yes,” Leah answers honestly. “He bought me a drink.”
“I see.”
Leah doesn’t like how dejected you sound. So she presses the button for facetime and the first thing she sees when you accept is her girlfriend pouting at the screen.
“What are you doing?” Leah giggles.
“Is all of this funny to you?” you pout even more, your phone screen illuminating your face in the dark room.
“Did I wake you up?” Leah asks instead. She knows you like to sleep in on weekends.
“Yes, but that’s fine. You know I want to talk to you any chance I get,” you answer, shifting so that you’re now lying on your side.
“You’re the best,” Leah says as she climbs in bed, tucking herself under the covers.
“Obviously,” you scoff. “Unlike that stupid guy who doesn’t know you’re off-limits.”
Leah grins at the annoyed look you’re giving her. “Baby?”
“Hm?”
“It’s so cute when you’re jealous.”
You roll your eyes. “Of course I’m jealous. He gets to be within your presence while I’m stuck here, freaking sixteen thousand kilometres away from you. It’s unfair.”
Leah sends her a soft smile. “But you’re the one I’m talking to every day, so who’s the real winner here?” The frown is still present on your face and Leah wants nothing more than to kiss it away—so that’s what she did.
“Leah, what the hell are you doing?”
“Kissing you,” Leah answers simply, kissing her screen again.
And when Leah hears laughter from the other end, her heart feels much lighter.
“Lee, have you cleaned your phone? That’s gross.”
“Shut up. I’m trying to be romantic.”
“Cute, but maybe clean your phone first.”
Leah rolls her eyes at you, her smile never leaving her face. “At least I made you laugh.”
“You always make me laugh,” you say, your face so close to her camera that the entirety of Leah’s screen is just a close up of your face. Leah’s heart swells in adoration at the sight.
“Did you have a good night's sleep?” Leah asks.
You hum in answer. “Now it’s your turn to get a good night’s sleep.”
You could see how hard Leah is trying to keep her eyes open.
“This sucks, time difference sucks” Leah pouts. “I just want to talk to you.”
“Baby,” you give her a sad smile. “It is how it is. We’ll talk more when you wake up.”
“Yes, captain,” Leah gives you grin, her eyes fully closed.
“Good night, Leah. Sweet dreams.”
You watch Leah go to sleep for a few minutes, the sound of her soft snores making it seem like she’s right next to you. 
That night Leah dreams that you're right next to her, holding her close and keeping her warm on the cold winter night.
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malum-forev · 1 year ago
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First Trimester
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(This is a short drabble I couldn’t get out of my head, idk what this is lol)
Bucky kept his head in his hands, eyes closed tightly. His breath ragged.
He could hear Steve’s loud footsteps pacing the room while Sam stood rooted in place. He could hear his friends’ heartbeats thumping rapidly.
“And you two-“ Steve couldn’t get the words out.
“That’s usually how that happens.” Sam retorted sarcastically.
Steve’s hands shot up. “I’m just trying to understand how this happened!”
“Looks like I should have had the birds and the bees conversation with both of you.” Sam rolled his eyes.
“What am I going to do?” Bucky croaked, his throat dry and scratchy. The question was mostly for himself, wondering just how he would manage everything happening in his life.
“You aren’t going to do anything.” Sam ran his hand over his face. “Before you go into crisis mode like a chicken running with its head chopped off, you need to make sure it’s yours.”
Bucky’s eyes snapped open.
“Sam-“ Steve’s cautious tone only made the Falcon more angry.
“Here’s what we know,” Sam’s voice was firm. “You two have got super soldier serum running through your veins, it changed your bodies drastically. Which obviously means your swimmers were altered, doctors told you the probabilities of you two getting someone knocked up are zero.”
“Close to zero.” Steve corrected.
“Whatever,” Sam rolled his eyes again. “Now- this one goes around the tri state are area banging anything with legs.”
Buckys cheeks burned red.
“Two months later, someone comes around saying they’ve got a super soldier baby brewing- does that not sound shady to anyone else?”
Steve rubbed his hand against his chin. “When did Dr. Cho say she could get a paternity test?”
“Two weeks.” Bucky whispered.
“Then these are going to be the most stressful two weeks of your life, kid.” Steve slumped his shoulders.
She hadn’t let the crippling nervousness seep into her body, work, friends and exhaustion had been great distractors. But now, as the steel gates of the Avengers compound opened she felt it.
She was the one who had encouraged a paternity test when she knocked on Bucky’s door weeks ago.
She hadn’t thought twice about missing her period the first month. Long hours at the art gallery we’re to blame, right? But as the days turned into weeks and the strange knot in her throat tightened, she decided to take a test.
Not thinking anything would pop up except the not pregnant label on the plastic test, she left it on the counter and forgot about it. That is, until a three minute timer rang and the scariest word ever written was staring at her. Pregnant.
(Y/n) waited a full week before visiting a gynecologist. Some gel, and ultrasound and some probing later, she was pregnant and that was that. She didn’t even register the bean sized blob on the screen. A muffled sound replaced the cheery doctor’s voice.
“Is Dad excited?” The young doctor smiled. Dad, fuck there’s a dad that needs to be notified.
(Y/n felt as if she’d stuffed a handful of gravel down her throat. She nodded weakly and lied. “He’s ecstatic.”
What she should have said is: he’s terrified.
When Bucky saw (Y/n)’s text on his phone, he’s ego shot up. He whistled as he prepared some eggs that morning, thinking highly of himself.
I don’t usually go back for seconds but I guess I can make an exception. Bucky thought as he shaved his face that morning. He wore a pair of grey sweatpants and a tight shirt, a combination he’d read online was the bee’s knees for getting women riled up these days.
But there might as well have been nothing underneath those boxers he was wearing because the shocking news killed any kind of vibe he had been feeling.
(Y/n) rocked backwards and forwards nervously as she stood in his living room. She didn’t even want to come in but he’d insisted. Now, Bucky was slumped back on his couch with his eyes set on the floor.
“I know this sounds strange-“ she swallowed. “But I don’t usually do what we did, I don’t do one night stands. I love relationships which is why my friends convinced me to sleep with you- not that I needed convincing you’re like so hot but you know what I mean. Well, I guess you don’t know what I mean because you barely know me, barely know I exist.”
“You love relationships?” Bucky’s eyes widened.
“I-well- shit- I shouldn’t have said that. It sounds-“ You sighed deeply, trying to collect her thoughts. “What I’m trying to say is that, you’re the only person I’ve had sex with in- a long time. And I want you to know that I’m not telling you this to make you feel like you have to be involved- that is if we decide to keep it. I just thought you should know that I’m pregnant.”
She tried to make her voice sound firm and confident but her whole body rejected the idea. There was nothing she was more afraid of than this. This life altering decision.
“And you’re thinking of keeping it.” He whispered, blue eyes staring back at her.
(Y/n) nodded slowly then shook her head. “I don’t know. Yes, maybe. I have a stable job, pretty decent insurance and a nice apartment downtown so, I’ve got the basics covered. I’ve always wanted children, not now but- I don’t know.”
“I’m also aware this is insane news so, I understand if you need time to process or decide if you want to- be involved, I guess.”
Bucky slowly nodded. She wrapped her cardigan closer to her body and his whole body jerked up, standing from the couch.
“Ar-are you, showing?” Bucky’s curious tone made her lips tweak upwards.
“It‘s been like two months and it’s the size of a bean so, no.” She tried to lighten the mood.
“You’ve been to the doctor?”
She nodded. “She told me I could have a paternity test done in a couple of weeks, if that’s something you’re interested in.”
Paternity test- paternity. Those words didn’t even seem real to Bucky. It had been such a distant thing that the thought hadn’t registered in his mind yet.
“I’ve got a couple of doctors that would probably know how to handle that-“ he said pointing to her stomach. “With the whole, serum and everything. Would you mind if I talked to them?”
“I don’t mind, whatever’s better for bean, right?”
Bucky’s body was enveloped in a foreign feeling. So different than anything he’d felt before, an unsettling feeling in his stomach that brought goosebumps to his skin.
“The bean?” Bucky furrowed his eyebrows.
“Not the bean. Just, bean.” Her cheeks burned and a smile developed on her lips. “The doctor said it’s going to be a while until I can find out the sex so, I’ve been calling it that. Bean.”
“Bean.” Bucky repeated quietly, fighting from letting out a smile. He couldn’t let himself get involved, not before a decision was made. Did he want to be in bean- the baby’s life? Was he even the father?
(Y/n) and Bucky walked through the white corridors at the Avengers med bay in silence.
Both of them stopped at an opened door.
“You sure you don’t want to come in and check I don’t switch up the viles, rig the paternity results?” She regretted the joke as soon as the words flew out of her mouth. Bucky’s blue eyes widened. She had tried to lighten the mood but the only thing she succeeded was to make Bucky uncomfortable-
“Good thinking,” Bucky’s lips twitched upwards. “I’m sure having my old ass sperm in there was your plan all along.”
She couldn’t help a giggle escape her mouth. Bucky placed his hand on her lower back and lead her into the room.
He held her hand through the procedure and followed her back to her car after everything was done.
“I guess I’ll call you once the results are in.” Bucky bit his bottom lip as she nodded, the tired look on (Y/n) worried him. “I just wanted to say, again, how grateful I am you’re being so cooperative.”
(Y/n) saluted him. “Anything for our troops.”
Bucky tipped his head back with laughter. “Please let me know when you get home safe.”
Her feet ached, scratch that, her whole body hurt. (Y/n) usually worked a double shift on Sunday’s to get double pay since that was the day rich people usually liked to shop at the gallery. Even though this was routine for her, she felt extremely tired this time. Pregnancy was starting to take a toll on her body.
(Y/n) heard the rain patter intensify as someone opened the glass doors.
“H-hi.” Was all she heard.
“We’re closed.” She called out but no one answered.
A sopping wet Bucky stood at the front of the gallery.
“Looks like you need to buy an umbrella.” She smiled.
“I’m going to be a dad.” The words came out stuttered, like he was trying to stop them.
Bucky stopped talking the second he received the email. DNA test result came back positive. He was the father. A father. That word echoed through his mind all day but he didn’t tell anyone a single thing, not until he could figure out how to manage the information. Steve would try to find solutions, Sam would freak out, Nat would laugh and Tony would probably ignore him. Each and every one of his friends’ reactions would stress him out more than he already was. He had no one, no one to talk to about this. Except her.
(Y/n) sighed deeply, taking her heels off and walking towards him. Without saying anything, she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought Bucky close to her. The tension he felt between his shoulder blades disappeared the second he was in her arms.
She softly held his face in her hands. “I haven’t decided anything and we still have time to figure out wether or not we want to keep bean-“
“Bean, oh God bean.” Becky’s eyes met hers. I can’t let bean down. He thought.
“I understand if you don’t want to go through with this.”
“Look at me.” Bucky’s voice was hoarse. “I need you to know that I want this- I want bean so much you have no idea. The thought of me having a kid was so lost but you’ve- I- I am forever grateful and indebted with you, you have no idea.”
(Y/n) smiled. “So we’re doing this? We’re having a baby?”
“Let’s have a baby.” He said.
Part 2: Second Trimester
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srjlvr · 1 year ago
Text
WEVERSE CRUSH !
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YOUR favorite hobby after a busy schedule is going on weverse and trying to get jungwon’s(your classmates) attention so bad! what happens when it does actually happen? you get excited of course! but what happens when you get a reply from him every day?
OR in which you caught jungwon’s attention with your posts on weverse and now, regardless of his tight schedule and millions of fans who’s trying to get his attention, he’s only searching for your posts every day.
PAIRING idol!jungwon X idol&fan!femreader
GENER fluff , a bit of angst , comfort , type of classmates to lovers(?) but they’re basically strangers on weverse !
WARNINGS vv cringy i think , mentions of stress , awful humor and pick up lines ! (pls lmk if i missed something)
WC 4.9k+ (the longest i’ve written ever!)
NOTE this is to all of the fans that never got noticed by jungwon on weverse but do get a lot of spams💔 n e ways pls like this i worked hard on this☹️🤞🏻
NOT PROOFREAD!!
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wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 10:20PM jungwon! i had a busy schedule today but thinking about you always made me feel better🤍
“trying again?” one of your group mates glanced at you staring at your phone, “i’m just sharing how my day was” you shrugged.
“he’s got like millions of posts, you know that too” she chuckled, “instead of being online in your own group’s weverse you’re going online on your fan account”
“i’m online everyday you’re just overreacting” you rolled your eyes.
“why don’t you just talk to him in class? didn’t you say you both were classmates?” she pat your head.
you shook your head, “it’s not that easy, we’re both barely attending to class because of our busy schedule, and we basically stopped talking after a while”
“it’s the only way i can interact with him—at least hope so? idk”
“and what if he does notice you?” she suddenly asked, “what are you going to do then?”
“probably faint”
“you’re acting like a real fan right now”
“what do you mean acting? i am a real fan”
“no you’re not, you’re just crushing over him and don’t know how to properly confess so you’re using this app and hoping to get noticed” your other group mate barged in your conversation.
“i mean, you both are classmates but you’re always so desperate to grab his attention on weverse, what’s the point of that?” she added.
“it kinda like became my usual thing to do, before i log into our weverse i log into enhypen and leave a post there” you shrugged, “it’s one of my favorite things to do”
“you’re hopelessly in love” they both teased you.
“good morning!” you greet your classmates. your schedule was clean for the whole week so you decided were forced to go back to school.
your friends greeted you back and you sat at your desk.
“morning” jungwon mumbled as he entered the class.
it was a rare sight, jungwon’s never usually at school. his schedule is way busier than yours and considering the fact that you show up to school once a month, it was quite surprising to see jungwon’s presence.
“morning” you greeted back and he went to his seat at the corner of the class.
you missed him. you actually did. having a crush is more than just thinking about someone 24/7, it’s also about missing him.
jungwon is your role model, he had always been. being classmates for more than four years together, he helped you getting into the company you wanted and encouraged you to stay until you debut.
you went through all of this because of him and yet, both of you rarely even talk.
jungwon couldn’t quite explain why, perhaps it’s your pretty eyes that he gets lost while staring at them, or was it your smile that always ( no matter when ! ) lights up the world, his world.
he found himself getting all shy and closed up being around you, call it cheesy but jungwon just can’t stop thinking about you and missing you.
he tends to come to school more often these days, some might think he’s just trying to catch up with school, but truth is, he’s searching for you every day, to see you and your smile.
you sat at the front line while jungwon sat at the corner, which makes it easier for him to stare at you without you even noticing.
“should i ask him to eat lunch with us today?” you whispered to your seatmate and she nodded.
“i just don’t know—“ “morning! finally y/n we get to see you!” the teacher got in class and cut you.
after class you gathered all your stuffs quickly but stopped when you felt a figure standing in front of you,
“hey um” you coughed, “jungwon, i’m jungwon-“ he cut you off.
you froze, a bit taken aback, “no i know-“ “oh! oh right” he nodded.
“i was wondering if you’d like to grab some-“
“hey y/n! let’s go to the cafeteria!” your friends called you and you instantly frowned, “i can’t, something urgent came up and i need to go”
they nodded and left, you then turned to jungwon, “what did you want to-“ “it’s okay, never mind about that” he quickly mumbled and left.
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 11:34PM jungwon! i had school today but i had to leave early today because something urgent came up ): i missed lunch with someone i really adore and im really sad):
“hey jay! check this out” jungwon showed jay his phone. “what’s wrong?” jay asked after reading the post.
“it seems so weird! it happened to me today at school too” he coughed, “with y/n”
“y/n again? you never stop talking about her” niki joined in.
jungwon sighed, “i can’t stop thinking about her, it’s like she’s living in my mind rent free”
jay pat jungwon’s shoulder, he can see how sad is friend is and how difficult things are for him.
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: you’ll always have tomorrow to spend together!
“OH MY GOD” you froze, looking at your phone for a few good minutes until your group mates came in rushing, “ARE YOU OKAY?”
one of them held a pan in her hand, ready to attack any stalker.
“it’s-“ you tried to speak, “it’s-“
“just give me the phone!” another one grabbed your phone and looked through it.
she sighed when she realized what was happening, “really y/n?”
“what is it?”
the curious cats followed her and peeked into her phone, they all sighed when they saw what is this all about.
“i was about to experience a heart attack!! we don’t do those things y/n!”
“no but you don’t understand!”
“yang jungwon just replied to me!” you walked back and forth around the room.
“i need you to sit down and calm down!” the leader held your shoulders and dropped you on the couch, “it happened once and it probably won’t happen again, i’m really happy for you”
“if you don’t get noticed by him at school at least you got noticed by him on weverse”
“BURNNN” they all shout and giggled.
you know they were joking, your groupmates became your family in a blink of an eye. they take a good care of you, and worry about you 24/7, like good old sisters.
but what they like to do the most is to tease you, which you find very annoying, but they just find it really cute.
“i’m definitely going to keep an eye on her” jungwon said to jay who was sitting next to him, “i have no choice but to trust your instincts now” he replied.
“how was your schedule yesterday?” your classmate asked you the next day.
you laid your head on your desk and groaned, “it was pretty tiring most of the time”
they pat your head and let you off, without having any other distractions—you fell asleep.
“morn-” jungwon got into the classroom and noticed your sleeping figure.
he smiled to himself, finding you so cute and adorable with your head all smashed over your desk and your slow breaths that made him think you were choking there for a second.
“what are you looking at?” his friend put his hand over jungwon’s shoulder, “nothing, i was just thinking about something”
“y/n wake up!” you heard someone whispering. you slowly opened your eyes and was welcomed by your friends all gathered around you with a big smile, “what is it?” you uttered.
“someone got you this drink” one of your friends held out your favorite drink, “you slept through all the periods, it’s lunch time already”
you looked at your phone and gasped, “why did no one wake me up?”
“we tried, you just were in deep sleep”
“thank you for the drink, did you happen to see who that was?” you curiously looked at the drink as your friends shrugged, “we all went out to get our lunch”
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 6:08PM something really weird happened today at school! someone bought me my favorite drink and put it on my desk! do you think i should look for that person?
“look!!” jungwon, who was active on weverse suddenly noticed the post, “it’s the same person from yesterday”
jay sat next to him and peeked at jungwon’s phone, “why? did you buy y/n her favorite drink today without her knowing?” he giggled but stopped when he noticed jungwon started blushing, “you can’t be serious”
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: go search for that person!!
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i wish you good luck🤍
“AGAIN??” you shout, you sat on the couch with your groupmates and made them all jump when you shout.
“again?” they sighed, “WAIT WHAT?”
you showed them your phone with jungwon’s replies and they all joined you to the shouts.
“you know what they say!” one of them said, “third time a charm!” the rest of you completed the sentence and giggled.
“i’m going to be full honest now,” another one said, “i don’t think there is going to be a third time”
“you never know!”
the next day you got notified that your “schedule-free” week was a complete lie.
“what do you mean i can’t go to school this week? you told me i’m free!” your argued your manager.
“some photoshoots and sponsors came up, i’m sorry it’s like that” she pat your shoulder.
“how am i going to see jungwon again?” you asked your group leader.
if there’s one thing she’s good at, it’s probably to listen and give advices, that’s why you find yourself always laying your head on her lap and venting out your concerns.
“it’s not like you’ve seen him a lot before” she said, “right?”
“no but it was different this time! i was actually ready to talk to him about everything”
“what do you mean everything?”
“i don’t know i—“ you sighed, “my feelings? the way i feel whenever i look at him? everything”
“you do realize that it’d probably be weird to confess to someone you rarely talk to, right?”
“i hate that you’re right” you rolled your eyes, “i was actually ready to befriend him, to get closer to him”
“you’re so boring y/n! you should be more bold!”
“what do you expect me to do?”
“show him that you’re interested in him without being too weird and confessing your feelings” she smirked.
“but how?”
“do you know how to rizz up someone?”
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 11:39AM jungwon! aside from stealing hearts, what do you do?
“are you serious with me right now? why did you post that!” you shout at your leader who was busy laughing her ass off, “is that what you meant by being bold?”
“that is how you rizz up people now!”
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: do you normally flirt with people so easily?
“OH MY GOD??” you dropped your phone and your friend froze, “don’t tell me he replied” she gasped.
“ALMOST INSTANTLY” you nodded and kneeled to get your now broken phone.
“NO WAY” she laughed, “third time a charm!”
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: but other than stealing hearts i think about you🤍
“slap me right now” you smacked your hand over your forehead, “okay” she slapped you.
“why would you do that?”
“you asked for it!”
on the other side, jungwon was giggling at his phone, staring at it for a few good minutes, that was until heeseung took his phone away.
“hey! give it back” jungwon tried to take his now stolen phone back but heeseung was too strong,
“i saw you smiling at your phone so i thought you were texting someone,” heeseung sighed and returned jungwon’s phone, “but weverse, really?”
jungwon shrugged, “i’m just replying to fans, they’re cute”
heeseung shook his head in return, “it’s not ‘fans’ you’re talking to, it’s only one specific fan you’re replying to”
“i’ve been replying to other fans too”
“that’s what you’d like to think”
heeseung was right, jungwon does only reply to the person he said he’d keep an eye on, which is totally fine, but at what cost?
“fans are starting to think you’re dating that person secretly, you should be careful” heeseung sighed.
“you’re right, that person just interests me” jungwon replied, “i have this weird feeling it might be y/n”
“y/n? why would she be on our weverse page?” heeseung tilt his head, “doesn’t she have her own group’s weverse page to go through?”
“yeah, but some posts of her really reminds me of situations that occurred between us,” jungwon nodded, “look, a few days ago she posted something that was really similar to what happened at school!”
heeseung took jungwon’s phone again to look through the suspicious account, “let’s just keep an eye on this account”
“that’s what i’ve been trying to say!”
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 11:45AM jungwon i was so surprised when i got a reply from you and dropped my phone💔 it’s broken now!!
“that’s—“ jungwon gasped, “that’s not what i meant to happen with my response”
heeseung just giggled, “i mean who wouldn’t be surprised to get a reply from their favorite idol?”
jungwon nodded and slowly tapped his reply.
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: haha i’d be surprised if i were you too!!
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: how will i ever be able to repay you?
“now it just feels like he’s flirting back with me” you chuckled.
“you caught jungwon’s attention y/n!” your leader giggled, “notice how he’s always replying to you almost instantly? it’s as if he’s waiting to see your posts”
you shook your hand, “no way! why would jungwon wait for me to be online?”
“that my friend,” she put her hand on your shoulder, “is up to you to figure that out”
the next day you begged your manager to cancel your schedule, with the excuse of, “i have exams coming up and i need to catch up, do you want to see me fail?”
and it actually worked!
today you’re going to see jungwon and talk to him, no matter what!
you arrived at school and sat by your usual seat, putting your broken phone on the desk and laying your head over your hands next to it.
you slowly drifted to sleep, school is too boring on the morning anyway!
as jungwon entered the class he first looked over your direction, of course he would.
he smiled to himself, he always does when he looks at you.
he then noticed your phone that was right next to you, it was smashed and broken, as if it was dropped.
jungwon gasped, he opened his phone and entered weverse, searching the account he’s been keeping an eye on, and that was it.
a dropped and now broken phone, it’s a match!
he took a picture of your broken phone and went back to his seat to text his members about the shocking news.
‘it’s definitely her’ he sent the text and added the picture of your broken phone.
‘i don’t think so, just because of a broken phone?’ jay responded.
‘yes! she said yesterday that her phone was dropped and got broken’ jungwon replied.
‘it might be a coincidence’ heeseung claimed.
jungwon was about to text them back but had to turn off the phone once the teacher entered the class.
first break of the day was a good opportunity to talk to jungwon. you woke up in the middle of the second period and thought about ways to approach him.
you searched for him in the class, eyes scanning every place until you landed on his seat, of course, that’s how he usually spends his first break. in his usual seat, with a snack in one hand and in the other he’s holding his phone and scrolling through social media.
you got up, suddenly feeling bold enough to make steps towards his seat.
“hey jungwon” you let out.
he froze for a second, then turning off his phone and putting away his snack, “oh, hey y/n”
“heyyyyy” you said again.
“hey?” he questioned.
“uhm” you coughed, “sorry”
“it’s okay, is there something wrong?”
“no no!” you shook your hand, “i was just wondering”
you was about to continue but your phone buzzed, you got a notification.
“your phone’s broken” he pointed out.
shit, you thought. “yeah” you giggled, “i uh—“
“i dropped it after my members decided to pull a scary prank on me” good one.
he nodded and chuckled, “so?”
“so,” you cleared your throat, “i was wondering if you’d like to start over again”
finally!! you cheered.
“i mean, you’ve helped me a lot through my trainee days and encouraged me to achieve my dreams but we stopped talking after i debuted and i really feel like—“ you spoke too fast and jungwon cut you off, “i’d really like that”
“really?” you asked and he nodded, “really”
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 8:50PM i asked my crush if he’d like to get to know each other again today!! he’s a person that really helped me through tough times and always encouraged me! we were good friends back then but stopped talking after a while, i really thought he was angry at me for some reason, but i couldn’t stop having feelings for him, so i made the first step today and he actually agreed!! im so happy!!
“you did WHAT?” your group leader asked you.
“i did it, i asked if he’d like to get to know each other aga-“
“oh im so proud of you my child” she hugged you tightly and pecked your forehead, “you’re all grown up now”
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: well,
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i’m sure he wasn’t angry with you at all!
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: im happy that you two are starting all over again, who knows, maybe he feels the same about you ;)
“got you y/n” jungwon giggled.
“why don’t you just talk with her about it?” jake put his hand over jungwon’s shoulders as he stared at his phone.
“it’s difficult” jungwon frowned, “do i just go like ‘oh hey! i know you have a weverse account and i know your user, i have feelings for you too so let’s date’?”
“yeah!” jake nodded and jungwon groaned, “you’re no help”
“so? tell us everything” your members sat you on the couch while they surrounded you with some curious eyes.
“about?”
“about what happened at school!”
“i went to jungwon, asked him if he’d like to start over again, he said he’d love to, so we went together to get some lunch and talked about everything we missed, it was real fun honestly really recommend you to do that too—“
“did you confess, or not” they all asked.
“no why would i confess so soon”
they all sighed, “no drama, no fun!”
you rolled your eyes, “can we at least eat something now?”
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 9:27PM i don’t think he feels the same, but it was really fun to spend the day together with him, his company has always made me feel warm and comfortable.
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: im more than happy to hear that! first breaks are always so fun when you spend them with a person you like ^-^
you tilt your head in confusion, showing your phone to your members, “look at that”
they all read your post and his reply, “what’s so weird about it?”
“i never said i spent the first break together with him”
“DO YOU THINK HE KNOWS?” you freaked out, “OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD” you held your head, moving back and forth around the room.
“y/n calm down!!” your leader said, “maybe he just assumed it was the first break since it’s the first time of the day you get to spend with other people!”
“you’re right,” you breathed in, calming yourself down, “thank you”
next day you went back in track, your manager told you the next time you’d be showing up to school would be only on exams and maybe next month.
your schedule became busier than before, you barely had time to breath. going back and forth, from a phothshoot to an interview then practice and more.
you were drained and overworked, your phone hasn’t been touched ever since the last day you showed up at school, which means—you haven’t showed up on weverse a few weeks already.
you’d see jungwon only when you arrive to school to take exams, but then disappear right away after you finish them.
“waiting for a new update again?” sunghoon asked jungwon who was staring at his phone and refreshing the page every minute, “yeah” he replied.
“she’s always online around these hours” he added.
“have you seen her at school?” sunghoon asked, jungwon froze for a second, thinking about the last time you showed up at school, “only when there’s an exam we need to take”
“maybe she’s just having a busy schedule,” sunghoon shrugged, “you’re barely online when you have a tight schedule”
“right” jungwon nodded, “but i wonder if she’s doing well” he sighed and closed his phone.
the past days has been awful to you. you slowly felt yourself vanishing, like a lifeless soul walking around.
your groupmates always looks after you worriedly, you’d barely even talk to anyone.
“y/n what about eating something?” your leader asked you, “no i’m okay, i ate just a few minutes ago” you smiled.
that was a total lie, you simply didn’t feel like eating lately.
slowly but surely you stared at your phone, five minutes won’t hurt, right?
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 12:57PM haven’t been active lately and i miss being here and interacting with you jungwon! i don’t think i’ll be able to be active again so i’m here to say that you should take good care of yourself, eat your meals in time and rest when you need to.🤍 your health always comes first!!
you sighed and turned off your phone.
jungwon, who was busy staring at his phone and waiting for a new update suddenly jumped in his chair.
“finally”
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: im sorry to hear that, is everything okay?
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i’ll make sure to take care of myself as long as you take care of yourself too 🤍
he replied immediately, as if he’s the one getting a notification from you each time you post something—when it’s supposed to be the opposite.
“jungwon we’ve recently found out that you’re suffering from that illness,” niki pat jungwon’s head,
“what is it?”
“the ‘weverse crush’ illness” niki laughed and jungwon sighed.
“you can’t stop refreshing the page to see a new post from her!” jay claimed, “and you’re replying so fast whenever she does post something” jake added.
“you should just get her phone number and text her” heeseung shrugged.
“but im not sure it’s her” jungwon turned off his phone.
“all clues points at her, it’s worth a shot” sunghoon nodded.
the next day you were forced to go back to school, your school principal complained about the fact that you’ve been missing most of your classes and nearly failing in all of them.
so it’s settled, you’ll be going to school for a month sharp, without any useless inconveniences.
first day of school after a while of not being there felt like a nightmare.
you looked at the school building with horror, yet, you felt a bit excited to see jungwon again.
you took your usual seat, put your earphones in and listened to your favorite song.
when jungwon entered the class, he was surprised to see you sitting there and staring at one point of the class.
he knocked on your desk and you zoomed out, “oh, hey” you smiled weakly.
something definitely happened while you were gone, “hey, it’s good to see you again”
the teacher entered the class right away and jungwon ran to his seat.
at lunch, you stayed in your desk, excusing yourself from your friends and going back to your books to read and study.
jungwon frowned, he has to do something about it.
he went to the cafeteria and got your favorite snack, he knows it’s your favorite, he remembers.
you were so focused on your study book to notice jungwon’s figure next to you.
“knock knock?” he questioned and you looked at him, making eye contact for a few seconds before looking away.
“hey again” you closed your book and focused on him.
“i got it for you” he handed you your favorite snack with a wide grin on his face.
“thank you”
silence. it was so quiet that you could even hear the birds outside.
“is everything okay?” he suddenly asked.
“huh?”
“oh yes, everything’s amazing” you smiled.
“we both know you’re lying”
turns out you were a bad liar after all.
“i’m not going to force you to speak,” he pat your shoulder, “but i’m here for you”
those words, were enough to break you down.
you felt comfort around him, you felt everything you feel around someone you’re in love with, you felt warm, welcomed and understood.
so you told him everything, from A to Z.
jungwon is known as his group’s no.1 comforter, and he’s now your personal no.1 comforter as well.
he knew the exact words to say to you and how to make you feel better.
right when you finished crying he told you a joke, and now you were shedding tears out of laughter.
“thank you” you looked at him with comfort.
“anytime” he chuckled and stole your snack, “you’re not crying anymore so i’ll just take that and save it for myself”
you rolled your eyes and kept messing around until it was time for another class.
wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍 : 8:30PM i had the best day ever today! i saw my favorite person ever at school today, after a long time i haven’t been able to see him! i also cried in front of him (was so embarrassing) but he comforted me so well, i think i’m falling in love all over again.
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: see!! lunch time can be so fun when you’re with a person you like too!!
↳ 여의도 홍보캣 replied to wonie’s bff (REAL!)🤍: i hope you’ll be able to spend more time together in the future!!
“he definitely knows” you freaked out.
“even if he does,” your leader clapped, “what’s so wrong about it?”
“what if he doesn’t like me back?”
“he does”
“how do you know that?”
“because i just do!” she sighed, “otherwise he wouldn’t reply to you so instantly as if he waits for your posts every day”
“you’re right” you nodded.
“but what if he does it just so he could laugh at me with his members?”
“not a chance” she groaned, “stop overthinking so much and just talk to him about it!”
“so um,” the next day, you dragged jungwon out of the classroom as soon as he entered.
you had to talk about it before the rest of the day continues.
“you have weverse right…?” you suddenly asked, “oh my god that was so stupid of me of course you do you’re an idol and—“
“i know it’s you” he cut you off.
“what?”
“isn’t that what you wanted to ask me?” he tilt his head, “i know it’s you” he repeated.
“and,” you wanted to continue but couldn’t find the words.
“i like you too” he suddenly confessed.
“wha—“
you were about to respond but he cut you off with a peck on your lips, “i said i like you too”
you looked at him, making eye contact for a few good minutes, both of your cheeks are now as red as a tomato,
and as you looked at his pretty face, you could notice how red his ears became.
“for how long?” you asked,
“ever since we started talking” he smiled, “your pretty smile, your beautiful eyes and breathtaking smile, everything about you just made me think about you all day”
“then why—“ “i couldn’t talk to you after you debuted, i was so scared it might hurt your image, and i couldn’t always find the right words to talk to you,” he looked down,
“i didn’t want to look like a loser in front of you” he kicked the air like a little child.
“jungwon” you smiled, “looking like a loser isn’t something to be ashamed of” you giggled.
“i like you, in any form or any shape or whatever!” you joked and hugged him tightly.
“would you like to go on a date with me today right after school?” he suddenly asked.
“so bold of you” you teased, pecking the tip of his nose, “but yes, i’d love to go on a date with you”
“can i finally call you mine?” he held your hand.
“of course” you pecked his lips,
“don’t get confused when you’re replying to me on weverse!”
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primofate · 3 months ago
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About boycotting Genshin Impact: Natlan skin colour issue and McDonalds.
(Read if you care about these issues and care about what I'm doing.)
If you are only here for a TLDR and want to know if I'm still writing Genshin fanfiction here's the short story: (I appreciate all the encouraging messages and all the love, but I may need to find another platform if things aren't working out here. If that day comes I will surely post over here and let you know where I've gone, but for now, though it is quite unpleasant, I do like and am used to the tumblr format. )
Long post starts here:
Decided to finally say something about this, because I feel like I've read up adequately about things.
First off, to the anon who claimed that I didn't care (who revealed their real identity in my inbox and apologized) I appreciate your bravery and also appreciate the apology. But I'm not going to lie to you, I don't really care for your presence around here, specially after what happened.
About the Natlan issue and the lack of tan/brown/dark skinned colour characters,
I understand why people are upset. I had a conversation with someone about this on tumblr, on how me, myself, I get upset when there is a lack of FEMALE main characters in games (I am mostly talking about the Persona Franchise, the main characters are always MALE, time and time again I always wait for a FEMALE MC, but am always disappointed that it hasn't happened EXCEPT of course, for P3 Portable and P2EP. Finally you had the option to play as Female, but that was it. I mean, it's 2024. WHY is there a lack of FEMALE MC in Persona? Anyhow, that is a different topic altogether.) so I can see how it could be disappointing for POC to see less or even NO characters that are POC.
That part, I totally understand.
All of your actions, boycotting, not rolling, not playing the game, being free to play, I UNDERSTAND all of that.
Now, recently there has been a big issue with Genshin Impact collaborating with McDonalds, because the chain supports Israel (but McDonalds is a franchise... and different owners have different ways of using their ownership of the chain/profit they make off it, so idk how that equals to all McDonalds support Israel. Educate me on this if I'm wrong.) People are saying that they are uninstalling the game because of it.
Again, I UNDERSTAND why you would do that.
I think what I need to address is what I am going to do.
And I'm not gunna lie to you, I don't think I'm going to stop playing the game (and I don't spend much money in game in the first place).
Does it mean that I support the bad situations they've put themselves in or the bad choices they've made? No, but of course there will be people who will say I play the game = I support their thoughts. Can it not just be simply I play the game = I enjoy the game/story?
I am being transparent and I think that's better than some of the people online who keep saying they won't play anymore but you KNOW some of them still do. Like, come on. Don't lie.
If that makes me a bad person according to you judgers out there, then so be it. Who really are you to claim I'm a bad person just because I play a game? Do you know what kinds of things I do in real life? What groups I help out and what organizations I donate to? What really do you know about what I do in real life? Maybe think about that before pointing your finger at someone online, and maybe think about what YOU are doing in real life too, instead of just being keyboard fighters, have you done anything to enhance the lives of other people?
Am I still going to write Genshin fanfiction?
Honestly if I stop doing it, it's because the interaction here on tumblr has been so toxic. LESS people commenting and interacting, I don't really mind much because I enjoy writing in general, I don't do it for you, I do it for me.
I am STILL writing, but at a slower pace because of my real life plus everything that's surrounding the game and the toxicity at the moment. I am even considering not posting on tumblr and just releasing stories like Ruthless Prince, stories that would be available through physical copy or ebooks that you have to pay for (that way I don't get nasty interactions and messages and those who really want to read my stuff can just pay and enjoy it) but as you all know, I'm not money hungry, I still post a lot of free stuff over here, but again, I'm not going to lie, there isn't much reason for me to post on tumblr anymore, specially with all the controversies and attacking going on.
I appreciate all the encouraging messages and all the love, but I may need to find another platform if things aren't working out here. If that day comes I will surely post over here and let you know where I've gone, but for now, though it is quite unpleasant, I do like and am used to the tumblr format.
The End.
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flower-boi16 · 4 months ago
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Stolas’ Abuse Tactics On Blitz
Viv clearly does not want you to see Stolas as an abuser. However, there is a strong disconnect between how a writer may want you to interpret the story vs how it actually comes across, and how Stolitz comes across is disturbingly different from how Viv wants you to see it.
Out of curiosity, I decided to look at some abuse tactics online and see how many lined up with Stolas’ behaviour and. Holy shit. Viv is actually writing an abuser without realizing it. Let’s go through every tactic that Stolas uses, shall we?
Sexual Abuse
This one is very obvious and I don’t feel the need to explain it.
Threatening
Again, another obvious one; Stolas is directly threatening Blitz by taking away the thing he needs for his job, so Blitz wouldn’t have a choice but to accept the deal.
Gaslighting
Throughout all of season 1, Stolas repeatedly belittles and dehumanizes (or dedemonizes…? Idk) Blitz by treating him as a toy, his “impish little plaything”, and gives off the impression that he looks down on the imp. Blitz clearly feels uncomfortable by this and tells Stolas to stop, but he doesn’t.
However, once we get to Apology Tour, Stolas actively the denies the idea that he ever looked down on Blitz and claims that he never did. Stolas says that Blitz just has this idea about Stolas in his head that isn’t true despite the evidence saying otherwise, and claims that he always did his best to support Blitz.
This is gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation used by abusers to make the victim question themselves and their own sanity, which is what’s happening here.
(I forgot to mention the “I never realized you though to low of me” in Full Moon but that line absolutely comes across as gaslighting as well).
Playing The Victim
In that same episode, Stolas sings a whole song about how hurt he was by Blitz, how he “let Blitz get too close” or how he’s a motherfucker, framing Blitz as a horrible person and him as the person he hurt. Given the context here, this reads as Stolas playing the victim, making Blitz out to be a horrible person and singing about how hurt he felt, which again, given the context, this can be read as that.
Criticizing
Stolas accuses Blitz of being like Striker of all people in the first scene of Apology Tour, and says that he didn’t even bother to come save him when Striker captured him (even though he literally sent Millie and Moxxie to save him cuz he was busy).
He then paints and treats Blitz as someone too up his own ass to realize Stolas has true feelings for him, given the context Blitzo doesn’t come across as in the wrong in this scene like the narrative may want you think.
This is criticizing, which is an emotional abuse tactic that abusers use to assassinate the victim’s character as a way of demonizing them.
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Stolas is an abuser
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romantically-yours · 4 months ago
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UPDATE:
IM PRETTY SURE WE HAVE A DATE THIS TUESDAY!!! NOT SURE IF ITS IN A GAY WAY OR NOT BUT IM SO EXCITED!!!
YALL A GIRL BOUGHT ME A DRINK YESTERDAY AND I GOT HER NUMBER!!!!
#thoughts#Oni talks#she invited me to an event Friday too! I was gonna find events and before I had a chance she sent me one lol#then when I sent her events today we decided on just doing all of them! the first one is d&d and we’re gonna get dinner beforehand!!#I’m so excited!! also worried bc idk if should try to extra clean just in case or not#also it’ll be my first ever d&d in real life so I’m a little scared?? I know a lot about it bc I played online for years but real life scary#also I’m gonna take her to her first ever pride next month!#I’m so excited!!!!! and she says she’s excited which makes me even more excited!!!#I’ve never been on a date before I’m lowkey panicking but also excited like what do I wear???#do I go more butch or fem??? might have to be fem coz I don’t have much butch stuff but then how fem do I go??#when we met I had lesbian pants on a pink cowboy hat and 6inch wedges so like idk if I can one up that tbh#also she’s like 5’8 and I’m 5’2 so I try to be tall again or wear heels?? also idk what irl dnd is like are heels even appropriate#we I think are walking from dinner to d&d am I good enough at heels yet to walk fast enough 🤔#I DO have gay flip flops and some gay black pants ? but it’s been pretty rainy & wet feet sounds gross#do I go goth or pastel??? I have both options I could do either?? DO I WEAR A HAT? ok im probably gonna say no to the hat actually#but like… I could. I’ll save it for fall dates hoping we get there. also this has reinvigorated my desire to be buff again#we talked about it even!! coz picking up people is fun!! also she doesn’t like rock climbing which honestly I appreciate even though#im trying to push myself to try it lmao also she likes art and music!! I hope she likes my gay music I sent her ahhh#I gotta find that sapphic music tumblr again omg#oni has a crush#almost forgot that one lol but yeah I think taking it slow is good but both of us wanna do activities so hopefully it’s good??#it’s so rare to meet someone like her I’m so excited oh my god aahhhhggggg#also if it’s not romantic I’m still happy!!! gaining a local lesbian friend is in itself a HUGE WIN!
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raguonmynieceandnephew · 7 months ago
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"It's so unfair to the Rat Grinders that they are killed instantly and the Bad Kids get to roll death saves." SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUP
THIS IS LONG, AND HONESTLY FOR MYSELF, SO YEAH READ IF YOU WANT
I swear to god, this discourse is going to fucking be the end of me. Idk what kind of mind boggling spell Brennan Lee Mulligan wove into the fabric of the universe that spread through the data center of Dropout in order to absolutely hijack y'all's brains when it comes to Cocklord Assgape and her ragtag of character foils but whatever it was has made you Rat Grinder stans INSUFFERABLE in this site.
The levels of treating fictional characters as if they were real people have reached a level I honestly have never anticipated, to the point of y'all actually being mad AT THE CAST for "mistreating" them and ACTUALLY QUESTION BRENNAN'S CAPACITY TO DM. Do you not get how fucking insane that is?
We can't make fun of Copperkettle, one of the most pathetic, petty and incompetent villains in D20 history anymore (even though she is masterfully written and developed to generate this reaction from us) anymore because it's bullying apparently. I saw an account flip the fuck out because someone compared her rivalry with Kristen to Drake and Kendrick's beef. KIPPERLILY IS NOT A REAL GIRL. SHE IS A MAKE BELIEVE CHARACTER IN AN IMPROV SHOW SPAWNED FROM THE BRAIN OF A 36 YEAR OLD MAN
And then what truly pissed me off the MOST about this whole hell is the fact that, being chronically online avid consumers of this goddamn show, I would think you would have but a grasp of the main cast of characters' characterization.
Why the uproar about Riz saying they should chop Oisin's head off? The same Riz who tortured that pixie from Freshman year by shooting off their finger one by one? The same Riz who murked a disarmed and unconscious Coach Daybreak without battin an eye? The same Riz who ATE THE CORPSE OF KALVAXUS?
And the whole Fabian vs Ivy debacle MY GOD, THE GIRL WAS RACIST TO HIS GIRLFRIEND AND USED HER LAST BREATH TO CALL MAZEY "OBJECTIVELY UGLY". And the funniest thing is that is not even the most unhinged shit he has ever said.
And finally, Death Save Gate: THE RAT GRINDERS ARE NOT PLAYER CHARACTERS. THEY ARE NPCS! THE RULES FOR EACH WORK DIFFERENTLY, ESPECIALLY THEM BEING BOSS ENCOUNTERS. Imagine having to still hit Ivy or Oisin 2 more times to kill them when there is 14 foot tall Porter throwing legendary actions left and right, with Jace, and other 3 spell casters + Mary Ann and KLCK up and running. It's called balancing the fucking game. Also, game masters are entitled to break, mold and make up any rules they want if they find necessary in order to service themselves and their players. IF YOU PLAY WITH ALL THESE RULES AS THEY COME, GOOD FOR YOU AND YOUR TABLE. THIS IS NOT YOUR TABLE.
Not only is Brennan DMing for his CLOSEST FRIENDS EVER, he is also shooting and producing an ENTIRE TV SHOW. So yeah, i think he knows wtf he is doing.
"But the Ratgrinders had no real development": True. But it wasn't for lack of trying from the players. Everytime they tried to know more, the dice didn't let them, so they decided to focus on the mystery. It simply do be like that sometimes.
"But they are just kids!": And so were Penelope, Dayne, Ragh, Zayn, the Bloodrush Players, Aelwyn and Biz. Why wasn't it a problem then? Because most of them were evil to some extent and were about to bring the fucking apocalypse to the world? Yeah, sounds familiar right? And the ones who were manipulated or had any sort of redemption worked their way into earning it, right? Yeah.
In conclusion, I fucking love the Rat Grinders, I truly do, and not unlike 90% of this website, i'm still holding on to hope that they have any sort of development and redemption in the last episode, because I agree, they ARE children and they WERE manipulated by Porter and Jace, but like, can we also agree that they are fucking assholes and had it fucking coming? Also, the BKs are children too y'know. SO STOP BEING FUCKING ANNOYING.
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uglycryinglawyer · 7 months ago
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heyyy tumblr,
class of 2024 law student here. no offense but you know things are bad when i take it to tumblr. law school really does something to your psyche and i hate to say it but despite this whole movement on social media to be more transparent, i don't believe anyone will be completely honest about their experience when their words can be traced back to them. being believable as 100% genuine & honest while being anything less than to followers that cling to every syllable of yours does more damage than good imo.
ill start this page with some honesty that i would label as a 6/10 on the "how embarrassed would i be if someone from my post-grad job were to see this" scale i just made up.
my first semester i felt like the smartest version of myself i had ever been because i got 1 online award from a fake company (seriously what business does this "computer-assisted legal education" company have hosting awards for schools around the country & why are they receiving our grades to begin with) for having the highest grade in my class. mind you, this company/award is not at ALL affiliated with my school, its literally made up. but its something that is made PUBLIC (as in if you knew my name you could google me and this stupid award shows up), and so many schools still acknowledge it to, idk, create further divisions between students that i guess the whole system of making everyones grades 100% based on their finals and curved (not in a good way) doesn't do enough for?
now here i am, having finished my 6th semester & walked the commencement stage a few days ago ugly crying over a grade because i might have just lost my honors status. when in actuality .... ~ kim, there are people that are dying ~ why does any of this matter?? this is what 6 semesters of slowly having your confidence in your own intelligence chipped away at does to a person.
its not over yet though - bar prep starts last week :). actually it starts on may 20th officially, but no ones being honest about the fact that they really started studying the day after their finals ended, if not earlier.
so i've decided to document my experience for you all here. with bar prep & my foray into big law (you know this field was meant for babies because that's what we unsarcastically call a career at a top law firm) on the horizon, & 6 semesters of pure chaos behind me, i have a lot to say!
im not sure who this is going to reach because, again no offense tumblr, but i doubt this site has the reach it once did. maybe this will just end up being a time capsule for myself, which i would love. or maybe this will help 1 person cope, which i would love even more.
regardless, if you read this far, thank you & tttys. going to throw some random hashtags in now don't mind me.
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melrosing · 3 months ago
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I actually hadn’t seen that quote and now I know it exists I don’t know how the limits of redemption discourse still goes on ☠️ George has literally given spoilers to get people to understand
I don’t even consider it spoilers tbh lol because I think it is just quite obvious that Jaime’s arc is a redemption arc and GRRM doesn’t have any idea how many people online are trying to argue otherwise for the sake of being contrarian.
Like we understand that one of Sansa’s key arcs is about empowerment, i.e. we see her disempowered and lacking agency, but know from the general trajectory of her story so far that through her trials she will grow into a more active and empowered character. One of Arya’s key themes is identity, so we know that whilst she’s cycling through various different names and faces, this is all building towards her becoming Arya Stark once again.
And we know this because we know how stories work!!! doesn’t mean we can say exactly how these things will happen or that these are the only themes in their story, but knowing how arcs work is just basic media literacy.
So when people come out with these limp takes about Jaime’s arc as one of failed redemption/that his arc isn’t about redemption in the first place and wait for applause….. idk I just have to cringe.
bc it’s always backed with these sad little notions about ‘Jaime saving Brienne from a bear because she reminds him of himself and he’s that self obsessed’ or ‘Jaime saved KL to save his own skin’ or ‘Jaime sent Brienne to look for Sansa bc he couldn’t be bothered’ or ‘Jaime’s actions at Riverrun show that he’s just a Tywin wannabe’.
Sorry but this is just such a sad fucking way to read a book lol. Like. you must KNOW that that’s not what these scenes mean?? you must know that GRRM, who himself hates nihilism and says he believes in redemption, is not someone who would waste his fucking time writing a story about a character who starts out shit, does a handful of accidentally/selfishly good things, then decides he can’t be bothered anymore and dies. like is that really the story you want to see?? be honest lmao
I’ve said before I think that apart from the people who really can’t get their heads around the idea that redemption is even a theme here (and as for them…. what can you even say lol), the rest is just bad faith reading from ppl who are desperate to prove they weren’t taken in by Jaime Lannister and his charms, and want to shit on ‘the fangirls’ whilst they imagine themselves nodding sagely when he, inevitably, capsizes as a character in the next book. like for sure. Jaime, after abandoning his army to follow Brienne into the woods in hopes of saving Sansa, will meet LSH and decide he can’t be arsed w redemption and so will promptly go running back to KL to commit some kind of mutual suicide with Cersei because ofc, that relationship has to be as static as the rest of his character, as they see it.
I mean sorry but how am I meant to take that shit seriously lol it’s just not how stories function. that’s not subversive that’s just bad
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batsarebetterthanpeople · 1 year ago
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why do so many people keep calling ed izzy's abuser? I thought it was kind of funny how wrong they were at first because I love being right but at this point I feel like, if you really believe that why do you even like this show? where the main love interest is a violently abusive indigenous man? that sounds boring as shit. what would possess the writers of the show for them to make such an awful decision?
but then I think, if this many people believe it does that mean I'm the one who's wrong? or is it that the creators fumbled that storyline when they should have been clearer about it? or maybe it's just that most people on here have had their reading comprehension scorched away by Sherlock Holmes conspiracy theories and Steven Universe discourse. I can't tell. sometimes I think the internet may have been a mistake.
No they're wrong here's what's going on. People all read this shitty fic called Hell or High Water where Ed was everything the Izzy stans say he was and then instead of realizing that Ed is sad everyone regressed into thinking that the Kraken Era TM was going to be incredibly violent, like serial killing blond men because they look like Stede levels of violence. Even if you didn't read HoHW you saw art or read fic from people who had engaged with this fic and succumbed to it's premise. So there's been this background radiation of misunderstanding what the Kraken is on the fandom for several months. So inevitably when Ed did some mild violence and then attempted suicide by threatening murder until the crew took matters into their own hands, which is not abuse or torture by any stretch, btw, it's a murder-suicide at worst (I say at worst because I consider it fuckery-suicide I don't think Ed was trying to kill people I think he was trying to force them into a situation where they thought it was kill or be killed so that they would choose to kill him, but that is my interpretation and you are free to think it's a botched murder-suicide I have no problem with that), which, murder is something the show has never condemned and if it did it would be horribly inconsistent. So anyway, Ed's whole Kraken Era was categorized in the show by him being sad and doing so many drugs and begging someone please god anyone to kill him and trying to break Ned Low's record out of the evil boredom, but because it had a murder-suicide element to it and Izzy's toes were getting removed and he waved a gun around at everyone once (in a way that felt to me like he was trying and failing to work up the nerve to blow his own brains out but I digress) people who liked HoHW and were mad that people had called it out were like "see hes being violent HoHW author vindicated" as if anything Ed did rose to the level of that fic
And you want to know how I know this read is bullshit? Because when I watch the show with people who don't read fic or interact with the fandom and then I gauge their reactions without showing my hand they all implicitly understand that Ed is reacting to Izzy in a way appropriate to how pirate captains react to threats from subordinates. The spectrum of reactions has been from "hey isn't it weird how Ed was the Kraken because his dad was abusive and now he's the kraken because of Izzy? Maybe there's something there but idk" to "I don't think you can apply the logic of domestic abuse to a pirate captain and first mate but also Izzy had it coming" to "I cannot feel bad for Izzy after last season, I'm sorry." To "lmao Izcel" and I've showed this show to roughly everyone I know. The only thing I can conclude from the fact that people who don't engage with OFMD fic almost unilaterally thinking that Izzy is in the wrong and then coming online to see people thinking the opposite is that Izzy as victim and Ed as abuser is pure fanon, like how Stede is a cinnamon roll who talks like Azeriphael.
But anyway yeah you're completely right about the fact that this would be a bad show if they decided to make Ed into a domestic abuser. I don't want to watch a rom com about a domestic abuser falling in love and I don't want a show that decided to make it's indigenous lead abusive when the stereotype of indigenous men as abusers is still to this day used as an excuse to separate indigenous children from their families and put them with white Christians in order to erase their culture. Good thing OFMD didn't make Ed abusive, so I still like the show.
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agaypanic · 2 years ago
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Benny weir x reader. Can you do one where Benny gets an online gf but have never met irl but she knows everything about the gang and him included the supernatural parts. Anyways Benny is like ALWAYS bragging about her but the gang fully just don't believe she's real. So reader flies out and decides to move to where Benny lives to surprise him. She tries really hard to wait to surprise him when he gets home from school but she just caught a glimpse of him while he was messing around outside the school and just couldn't resist running up and kissing him! Benny is? Shocked. The gang is? Shocked. Reader is? Love sick. Once Benny realized who it was he started to get so excited and not believing she was actually here all while Ethan is just like, who tf is this hot girl that's trying to get in Benny's pants rn?. And Benny has to literally make reader say she's his gf to make them believe him finally-🐇
Summer Love (Benny Weir X Reader)
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Summary: Benny’s friends don’t believe him when he tells them he has a girlfriend.
A/N: I’m having the reader move because of her parents’ work instead of just for Benny bc idk it feels a lil weird for a teenager to move for their s/o and not even telling their s/o that they’re moving
***
School had just ended for the summer, and you were racing home. Your boyfriend had made a habit of facetiming you when you were out of school, but you were hiding something from him that you really wanted to keep a secret.
After greeting your parents, you went to your room. It was filled with boxes, bubble wrap, and suitcases. Your boyfriend couldn’t see this. It would ruin the surprise.
Suddenly, your phone started ringing. You pushed everything off your bed and ensured there was nothing out of the norm around you. Deciding that everything would look fine, you answered the phone. “Hey, Y/n!” His regular grin widened when you popped up on his screen.
“Hey, Benny!” You and Benny met last summer when he was taking a road trip and went through your town. You were waitressing at the diner he and his grandma stopped at. Usually, you’d roll your eyes whenever some rando tried flirting with you, especially when you were working. But there was just something different about Benny.
It might have been the fact that he was a warlock, but he insisted that it was his amazing charisma.
“So, how was your last day of school?” He didn’t see anything out of the ordinary with your surroundings, or if he did, he didn’t say anything.
The two of you talked for about an hour before you got a text from your mom. It said something about her needing your help loading boxes into the moving van that your family had rented. You sighed.
“I gotta go; my mom needs help with something.”
“Okay, Baby. I’ll talk to you tonight?”
“Of course, Bens.” After saying your goodbyes, you hung up and ran downstairs to help your mom.
“How was your talk with Benny?” Your mom asked as you carried a heavy box out of the house.
“He didn’t suspect a thing.” You didn’t like keeping secrets from someone you cared about, especially one this big. But you knew it would be totally worth it.
“What are you gonna do when we’re on the road?”
“I told him that people were fixing the power lines on our block starting tomorrow, so we can only text or call until the power and wifi are back on. But no facetime.”
“Smart. How are you gonna surprise him?”
You hauled the box into the van, dusting your hands off.
“Still figuring that out.”
***
After lengthy drives and your parents constantly switching between driving the car or the moving van, you had finally made it to Whitechapel, Ontario. Your dad was offered a promotion in one of the corporate offices of his company, which just so happened to be in the same town that your long-distance boyfriend lived in. To say you were ecstatic to hear the news was an understatement. You remember grabbing your phone as fast as you could, about to call Benny, when you paused. Something this big shouldn’t be told over the phone.
So you decided to just tell him when you saw him. Now, you were just debating on how to do it.
After unpacking a good amount of your stuff into the new house, you told your parents that you were going to explore Whitechapel. It would give you both time to think about how you’d surprise Benny and time to get used to your new surroundings.
Whitechapel was very beautiful when you didn’t think about the freaky supernatural stuff that your boyfriend and his friends encountered almost daily. Even if you didn’t have Benny, you think that you’d still be delighted about this move.
After walking through the park and getting lunch at some little restaurant, you decided to go by the school you would be attending after the summer. It was a decent walking distance from your new house, thank goodness. As you approached the courtyard in front of the main entrance, you heard lots of laughing and talking. There was a group of kids about your age messing around. As you caught the face of the tallest boy, you started to panic.
You must have forgotten that school was going for another week in Whitechapel. Because instead of hanging out at the park or someone’s house, it looked like Benny and his friends were just now leaving school.
If it was just Benny, you’d be all over him by now. But he was with his friends. And his friends were convinced that you didn’t exist. Sure, this could have easily been disproven by a phone or facetime call. But something always prevented you and Benny’s friends from interacting for some reason. One or the other being busy or faulty internet were the main things. But Benny had also shown them pictures of you, and they didn’t believe him.
You had to do something. You were just standing there like a weirdo while your boyfriend and his friends were messing around across the street. You needed to make a decision, either run to Benny or run away from him and figure out how to tell him later.
“Benny!” You yelled as you crossed the empty street. A look of recognition crossed his face before becoming confused. He heard your voice, but there was no way you could be in Whitechapel. “Benny!” He turned to the sound of your voice.
“Y/n?!” He shouted back with an incredulous tone. He started to run towards you, and the two of you met on the sidewalk. He kissed you the second you were in his arms. Months of being apart amplified the passion; you two didn’t even care that his friends were gawking at you.
“Why is Benny making out with her?” Ethan asked. “Who even is she?”
“Maybe he paid her a million dollars,” Erica replied, looking at the scene in front of her with slight disgust.
“Wait, you can do that?” Rory asked.
“What are you doing here?” Benny asked you, refusing to let go of you. “Why didn’t you tell me you’d be here?”
“Surprise.” You smiled. Seeing him on your phone was nothing compared to seeing him standing before you. He looked so pretty, especially when he was smiling at you with a smile that he only gave you. A lovesick smile, as if you were the person for Benny. “You have no idea how much I wanted to tell you, but I wanted to surprise you.”
“Mission accomplished; this is crazy.” He kissed you again. “How long are you gonna be here?”
“Oh, you’ll be seeing a lot of me, Bens. Let’s just say you should change my address on your phone.”
“No way.” He muttered. “Are you serious?”
“Surprise again.” He kissed you to the point where you almost lost your breath, but you didn’t care in the slightest.
“This is probably the best day ever, holy crap.”
“Uh, Benny?” One of his friends called out, making the two of you remember that they were even there. “Wanna tell us what’s going on?” Benny turned around, you still in his hold. He brought you to his friends.
“Guys, this is Y/n. My girlfriend of almost a year that I keep telling you about.” His friends kept looking from you to him. “Y/n, this is-”
“Oh, don’t tell me. I got this.” You pointed to each person before naming them. “Erica, Sarah, and Rory, the vampires. Ethan, seer. And Benny, greatest warlock I know.” Your boyfriend blushed at the compliment and even more when you kissed his cheek.
“Right as always,” Benny said.
“Benny, you told her about us?” Sarah asked, somewhat panicked.
“Of course I did. That’s what you do with someone you’re dating; you tell them stuff.”
“Benny, I know that you’ve been pretty insistent on the fact that you have a girlfriend.” Ethan sighed. “But going as far as to hire someone and tell them very personal stuff about us? That’s crazy.”
“E, I didn’t hire her. She’s my girlfriend.” Benny groaned, frustrated that this debate was still going, even though his girlfriend was standing right in front of his friends. “Y/n, tell them.”
“I’m genuinely Benny’s girlfriend.” You said. “I wasn’t hired to do this; I’ve been dating him for almost a year. We met last year when he and his grandma were on a road trip.”
“I still kinda don’t believe this,” Sarah muttered. You shrugged.
“Well, it’s your guys’ loss if you don’t believe us, I guess.”
It took showing photos, messages, and even questioning Benny’s grandma. But at the end of the day, Benny’s friends finally believed the two of you. They apologized to you for not believing you were real and to Benny for not believing he really had a girlfriend all this time. 
“So, besides thinking you didn’t exist, what did you think of them?” Benny asked you as he walked you home.
“They were pretty cool. I’m kinda scared of Erica, though. She has a very intense energy to her.”
“Don’t worry, she’ll warm up to you. It just takes time.”
“How long did it take for her to warm up to you?” He sighed.
“Still working on it.”
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skibidilando · 7 months ago
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A Day at quadrant: LN4 (Part 2)
Author note: I don’t even know how to post anything on this and never wrote a fic but I hope this is good but I think it’s pretty shit and I haven’t finished it yet and if any writers want to use this idea you can for sure just @ me please oh and if you have feedback please let me know thanks xx
Also i tried to change my like writing style thing cause i feel like it was shit last time but yeah idk
Lando x quadrant fem reader
Blurb: reader is a member of quadrant, she games most of the time but also likes f1 along with her best friend Ria bish. She is friends with all members at quadrant and finds it a good laugh with all her mates, but maybe her view of someone in particular is more than a mate..
Warnings: sexualising, swearing, mention of a gun, leaked tape, sad distraught reader, friends to maybe lovers if I make it a series? Smut-ish? If I missed any let me know (I don’t know how to do warnings sorry x)
Well wasn't last week a fucking eventful week. You still cant stop thinking about Lando right next to you comforting you about what happened. You're starting to feel better about the whole issue and get some support from people online and all the other members of quadrant, but fuck that was just shit. You haven't been in any quadrant videos since, but you're in a better place now and probably need to start participating in them more.
Lando and ethan make the idea of quadrant meeting up at landos apartment and trying to train like him for a day. You aren't exactly looking foward to it but oh well, at least Ria is going. You text your gc back and tell them that you will do it too. Then, you get a message.
Lando: are you 100% sure ur okay to come back and film already? you dont have to if you dont want to.
Y/n: yep. I need to get in more videos and im feeling better anyways, thanks for asking.
Lando: all good
Well that was polite and unexpected of Lando to reach out, but whats more unexpected is for your panties to be soaked right now over 2 text messages. well fuck, oopsies.
That night all you can think of is Lando, it's a bit embarrassing to admit, but he was circling around your head like it was an f1 race. You decide to get your head out of it and call Ria to come over and have a chat, since she is your best friend after all. Shortly she pulls up to your apartment in Monaco, funning in bursting of excitement to see you.
"RIAAAAAAA!" you shout when you open the door for her. "Y/NNNN" she replied back. You give her a hug and make her a cup of coffee just how she likes it. You guys sit and chat about the f1 grand prix in Bahrain coming up, and how you hope Lando continues to have a good season with Oscar this year. "Did you see the chat about the new yt vid we doing" You ask Ria. "omg yes and they are bringing angry ginge in I heard" Ria replies back.
"STOP IT" you yell back laughing. You love ginge and his videos, who wouldn't? he's a very very funny bloke. "OMG i''m definitely coming tomorrow then to the recording are you kidding?".
Unfortunately time goes by when you're having fun, and Ria was the most fun, so she had to go a few hours later which felt like minutes. Besides you both need sleep for the youtube vid you're filming tmr at Lando's. You go to bed and try to sleep as much as you can, which didnt happen lol.
rise and shine love. It's already 6am and time to go to Lando's place to film. Normally you don't have to wakeup early as fuck but for the purpose of the video and "being Lando Norris" you had no choice. You get to his apartment after parking at the front and knock on the door, to which he opens. "hi y/n" he says nicely and gives you a hug. "So good to see you Lando, where is everyone?".
"first here mate" he says almost excitedly. "so what are we actually doing today like playing video games or some shit" you say. "haha your funny mate, we are lifting weights, eating what i eat, using the sim, and neck strengthening" he says laughing at you. "fuck r u taking the piss" you say laughing. "oh my days Landoooo do I look like an f1 driver" you also reply with. "well yeah thats the whole point of the video ya dumb fuck" he replied jokingly.
"hahaha get fucked lando nowins" you snap back. he laughs as you proceed to miss the chair you went to lean on making you flinch and stumble looking like an idiot. he is still laughing which makes you laugh too. "Lando norizz" u reply. "haha you think I have no rizz, funny" he replies egotistically. "yeah i do actually" you don't at all, in fact he hasn't even tried yet he has rizzed you up. "wanna bet?" he snaps out.
you don't have time to think before he pins you against the wall and just looks at you with those hot eyes of his. you can already feel your cheeks burning and your thong getting wet. "you say I have no rizz yet your cheeks are burning, and I bet those panties are more soaked than that porridge you tipped over the counter when you stumbled at my gaze, huh?" he grunts out.
what the fuck just happened, first how did he know and secondly did he just pin you against the wall. not the first time you want that to happen. you know what fuck it if we wants to be like that then he may as well be uncomfortable the whole video.
"how did you know about my tight, black lacy thong i'm wearing over my tight pussy hey? not your first time thinking about it aye?" you tease him, but while walking over to him you see him looking uneasy.
why? because ginge was at the fucking door and heard that, and can see Lando's boner from a mile away. "well bonjour" ginge says laughing. "bonjour mate" lando says as he daps up ginge covering his boner and trying to ignore what just happened.
You already know this video is gonna be the longest set of your life..
sorry its a short one x
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