#idk how many of these im gonna make but they are FUN
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ok so, im gonna start off by plugging the fic that i was inspired to write based on the video i'll be talking about because i deserve it, it was my very first one and i havent read it in a few years so idk how well yhe Writing holds up but youll love the premise im sure
now i want to talk about what happens to the body when we die. the first changes are immediate, i remember when my grandmother died she very quickly turned yellow and her skin sunk. it took under 5 minutes for her to look very much dead. padmè's body would have to be very well embalmed and made up and maybe even restored to look like that in its casket. the waxy smooth fingers especially come off as spectacularly embalmed.
i wont get into most of the stuff about how they embalm today and what a body would need after however many hours of nature taking its course, but if we take the films at face value she's 100% embalmed and not rotting anything like the average body.
now i'll link a very interesting video on the preservation and (consensual, its what her father wanted for her) display in a catacombs of rosalia lombardo, under the cut because her face is visible in the thumbnail and i know some people are sensitive, but you'll see she looks spectacular even over a hundred years later.
for people who dont want to watch this short video because they're creeped out by the thought of looking at even a preserved body; basically, she's an immaculately preserved corpse. she looks like shes just a little girl asleep, and this is the preservation of an entire corpse, organs and brain and all are intact inside of her, her eyes are still visibly blue at the right angle and in the right lighting, even her fluids werent drained. it was a completely new and "secret" thing at the time but we've figured it out now. everyone say thank you zinc salts. the reason she made the video was to address the way rosalias eyes seemed to open and close, which was in fact just a trick of the light (where i got the fic name) and not very interesting. her eyes are never fully closed so they seem to open during the right times of day when the light shines right, but i would highly suggest watching it because its interesting, informative, and fun. caitlin doughty makes a lot of good videos. ok thats enough babbling.
youtube
something something parallels between padmé’s sarcophagus and vader’s suit
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Same as Cash, The Mountain Goats [x]
#the mountain goats#same as cash#jenny from thebes#john darnielle#screaming and yelling these lyrics from the rooftop#JUST A SMALL AMOUNT OF PRESSURE IN THE RIGHT PLACE!!!#AT THE FAR END OF THE WALMART PARKING LOT!!!!#sooo many iconic lines from this one#idk how many of these im gonna make but they are FUN#collage#my art
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anyone else get cuteness aggression whenever they see james mcavoys charles….. like i have to pace around the room everytime i see him (your art is not helping. /pos)
i can think of one (1) mate who also gets cuteness aggression
#xmen#xmen movies#charles xavier#cherik#professor x#erik lehnsherr#magneto#snap sketches#i am moderately tipsy so idk if this looks right. he looks right to me right now i think yeah he looks good ill post it#ANYWAY tahnk you:) i hope my art contributes to Not Being Normal about charles in any capacity#ask earlier about erik's face getting oevrshadowed reminded me i can draw one of my fave things for film erik too#drawing this did make me wanna rewatch first class tho ... 'snap how many times have you rewatched first class'#its a new month ok im allowed to rewatch it five times if i want to#i never draw fc charles .. i miss him sometimes mcavoy in general's fun to doodle#when speak no evil came out i was too stupid excited to doodle paddy after watchin the movie but this aint about him. we're MOVING ON#im gonna go start doodlin somethin goofy bye bye ill be back Whenever
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i feel like i've lost the ability to draw so here are some doodles/ 1st draft designs I made for some of the monster high girlies bc I've still got the urge to draw despite that. they all need some work but I feel like I've gotten to a good starting point.
ive got quite a few ideas for the rest but we'll see if I ever get to them lol
beware the tags! (i never shut up)
#digital art#doodles#artists on tumblr#fanart#fashion#monster high#ghoulia yelps#draculaura#lagoona blue#frankie stein#idk how but ghoulia's glasses are prescription bc I say so#my fav thing to do when ive got art block is to play dress up w characters lol#ironically enough tho#it's hard for me to design outfits for other people bc I just start dressing them how I would if I were doing a closet cosplay of them lol#the pinterest boards ive got for not just the main ghouls#but some of the side charas as well are so full that I had to do something with them eventually#lagoona's fit needs the most work (im bad at athleisure) but she's the most fun to draw XD#i really wanted to lean more into beach gyaru for her but trying to make it work w her usual athleisure style is hard T-T#frankie needs work the second most#her shoes are basically ripped from pinterest XD#draculaura is fun until i have to colour her#i can already tell shes gonna go through a many colour variations if I continue#also dont think about the heights too much bc I sure as hell didnt
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just realized ive posted art almost every single day since the start of the year and the only day i didnt was cuz of work. lets fucking GOOOOOO
#im somehow feeling the worst ive felt in years and also the most productive at the same time. and idk how thats possible#i feel like ive unlocked smth that i couldnt last year. like when i finished school i said Ok art is my full time job now.#thats how many hours i should be putting in. and then i proceeded to do nothing all year#but this year so far i get up and go to my desk and just work on stuff. which is crazy#i feel like its cuz im switching lanes#like i can do furries (work) or portfolio stuff (work) or whatever else (fun) and All of those r productive#so when im tired of 1 thing i just switch to another#but also i hate my art more than ever rn. so my brain does feel toxic poisoned by it#but it just makes me angry and spiteful. like im gonna get better if it kills me. i will stop flopping if it kills me#but also feel like im posting too much. like im oversaturating#not special if its every day. not special means nobody cares. u know#idk. anwyays. ill figure it out#x
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Not to be a sap or anything but im listening to one of the mini painting streams from loa and hearing them be so open about genuinely enjoying fanworks, especially fanfic is so. Heartwarming??? Idk im so used to fanfic getting a bad rep and ppl in online spaces just making fun of it that it caught me off guard. Maybe its the lack of sleep idk
#legends of avantris#loa#loa tumblr#quite simply i did start crying#like its not like a parasocial thing or whatever#im just used to my hobby being ridiculed by ppl online#not to me specifically just in general#like you go to so many fandoms and its just like. ppl making fun of fanfic#and idk i got used to it#fun fact i didnt write anything for years#bc i didnt want ppl to make fun of me lmao#crazy how that stuff gets internalized#idkkk im tired and chronic pain is well. a pain LMAO#so maybe i just feel more emotional today who knows#im gonna try n go back to sleep now i got like 3 hours in lmao
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merry Christmas!!!!
merry christmas to you too!! i hope the holidays are going well for you!
#currently in chap 2 of homicipher!! couldnt touch it over the weekend but im here now and oh my goddd#tbvh im more invested in the deciphering part than anything else so i replayed chap 1 thrice to see if i could make sense of the other word#its sooo fun but also frustrating like most of my words look like 'come/bring/carry' shhhshs idk where this is going!#as for characters i really like mr crawling hes so cute and has my back will give him a smooch at the end as thank you#i felt so bad when i got mad at him in chap 1 just to be killed ughhhh nobody has my back like Mr crawling#still...mr scarletella kinda....#hmmm cant say much for the others but the lady who showed up and offered a bride dress?i thought i was gonna get married to her lmaooo#oh and mr silvair visually hes my type the most i loved chilling in his room in chap 1#i have no clue how many chapters there are and when ill finish them at this rate but im having fun thank you for the rec <333#ask 🐟#and very sorry for the long tags i know nobody asked but.
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Orb...
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+ process kinda
#istg lineart is just a horrible terrible thing LOL#i sketch and it goes very well and i am very happy and i feel very creative!!!#i have to do lineart and it makes me want to give up the piece .....#i get to paint and im like omg i could do this for hours !!! this is so fun !!!!!!#thus: orb#im very happy w it so thats why im posting#idk how long the actual piece is gonna take so might as well post a little sneak peak ig#lmfao i gave up on the crown bcs it was too complicated and then drew this. maybe the crown will come back. prob not#im surprised w the process of this. i usually struggle a lot w accurately referencing real life things#and i usually end up tracing them just to understand how the form works#and god ive drawn so many complicated things for this piece and havent had to trace at all???? okay?????#i mean ofc its not entirely accurate bcs the craftsmanship on the original orb is actually insane#but i think ive got it down p well :)#ill have to try to make the gold look a bit better at some point later on but for now its !!!#i like how half my art i post here is either chibis#or just the most brainrot intense historically detailed shit ever#yes no one i talk to probably knows what a globus cruciger is but GOD DAMN IT IM GONNA DRAW IT ACCURATELY#had this thought ^ when i looked at my top posts and my last post was those nando chibis#and then after a week of not drawing after that im like yeah let me draw several imperial relics#catie.art.
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i so badly need to improve im SICK with the need to improve
#sorry for making this post over and over again it smacks me into a wall for fun whenever im not looking#IF I CAN JUST figure out how to put art into the rotation#technically i wrote a novel chapter this morning so i could draw the rest of the night but night is simply SO WRITING CODED to me#but if i spend another day not drawing im gonna throw uuuuup#elia txts#it's so easy when i have uni or a job bc i can draw on the train or right before class#but doing art or art studies at home is so ??????? how hard can it be to set aside one hour. theres so many hours!!!!!!!#writing is natural i live there. japanese comes easy to me. exercise is mandatory anti-rsi ritual#art and GETTING GOOD AT ART is what i need more than anything but idk how to fit it in with the rest. im nauseous we have to fix her (me)
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I do love that doing any kind of monsterfucker smut will have you dabbling in speculative biology and going on deep dives into the animal kingdom to draw inspiration for your fictional dragon reproduction system.
Aka for my oviposition dragon vash au I was looking into wonderful subjects such as autogamy, parthenogenesis, and ovoviviparity. Among others.
All just for funsies !
#speculation nation#hrmgh. people seem to really like this au enough that i might as well shoot to write it.#so i should come up with a tag for it.. just maybe...#well. call it how it is i guess.#dragon vash au shit#anyways i still plan to answer that ask someone sent about this au. i prommy 😭😭 im just a strugglin#but ive been thinking about this au. and i did all this research into weird reproduction systems in the animal kingdom.#see the main thing is that this is an oviposition fic but like not Just for kink i guess???#like it's gonna b clear in the fic that this is essentially wolfwood getting knocked up. like they talk about it beforehand and everything.#and well for a mostly human paired with a dragon. for viable offspring there would have to be some level of uhh#well the autogamy and the parthenogenesis are two different options. but as part of parthenogenesis theres uh#like one way it can happen is if an egg serves as fertilization for another egg. giving the genetic material and whatever#so like what if some dragon magic shit makes wolfwood's eggs into fertilizing eggs 🤔🤔 or something#idk im still workshopping it. and a lot of this wont even be relevant for the actual fic. especially the possible ovoviviparity.#but if ppl like the fic enough and wanna see it continued then maybe i Could write a sort of 'what happens next' thing...#mostly just wolfwood being a bit overwhelmed with trying to help raise dragon babies 😂😂😂#but yeah. idk i find this kind of thing fun. i learned many things yesterday! many of them useful!#and dragon vash au shall exist... in time.......#pregnancy ment/#lol. just in a bit more strange of words.
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The gender be gendering and being a boy sure is awesome hope it don't change anytime soon this is great!
I say that now but wait till tomorrow when I reblog this like "lol gues what fuckers!" because my luck be like that
#being a boy>>>>#I just feel so gay and powerful#like spiderman#I hope someone sees this like#yeah being masc sure is fun#I find that masc is the gender I tend to enjoy most#it's cuz i watch so much media with male leads#being masc prob makes watching that shit enjoyable#there's only gonna be like 3 actual tags here lol#genderfluidity#lgbt pride#Trans pride#sort of#I say genderfluid counts as trans cuz it does by definition#but like also i feel like ppl get confused#cuz idk how many ppl look up the definition#i'm gonna stop tagging and post this now bc I'm rambling#and also because im gonna vomit#no really i feel ill
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Zarry Documentaries woman is a Zionist oop
#also just generally weird as hell#one of those harries who infantilize him while demonizing literally anyone else to make him a victim#and...everything else#like i watch the ship videos for fun and she makes it uncomfortable in the same way larries do#ig cause she's deadass about it and not doing it for the lolz#and she hates zayn claiming he is a covert narcissist who abused poor little harry#for the record i think zayn is shit person sometimes with the history of violent and flaky behavior#cheating verbal abuse public freak outs and drama on twitter etc.#but people misuse narcissist WAYY too much sometimes people don't have a personality disorder they're just a bit shitty#and harry's no angel either#anyways just take a step back and realize how many leaps she had to take to get there#that joe cummings guy follows her on insta and likes her posts about the zarry fanfiction she sells#which is a whole other can of worms#idk where i getting with this I'm just a bit fascinated with the 1d/solo fandoms#and why they are so prone to conspiracy theories#joe haunts me a little bit what even is his deal he seems like a normal 70 something year old guy otherwise#whyys he so weird abt harry and zayn if he's getting paid to tease shippers he's really going above and beyond#im realizing how online all this is tho lmaoo#gonna go touch grass now#zayn malik#harry styles#zarry#zayn malik crit#harry styles crit#conspiracy theories#mine
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they werent lying that knuckles series barely has knuckles in it
#i pirated that shit Btw just so we're clear. also gonna talk about it a little bit in the tags#nothing too spoilery but also might not wanna read if you want to go in knowing absolutely nothing? idk#anyway he WAS a main character still he was present for a decent amount of the first couple episodes#but the amount of screentime he gets just starts dropping after that . hes barely there at all in the second half ???#and it feels like theres a lot of scenes mostly focusing on wade and his problems and not near as many for knuckles and his whole deal#overall it feels more like a wade show with knuckles in it than a knuckles show with wade in it. which sucks#and human characters having plot relevance isnt the problem here i dont mind human characters at all i think they can be really fun#its the fact that the human characters are taking over the story and spotlight when the show is called knuckles#and all the marketing makes it look like knuckles is the main focus#and i also would have preferred if they just went with a differnet character to be knuckles' human friend#because i dont particulraly care about wade. and the knuckles (and sonic and tails) i know would not be friends with cops </3#well at least the story wasnt knuckles training wade to be a better cop like a lot of people were expecting but thats like.the bare minimum#also aside from the issues relating to knuckles' screentime (or lack of screentime) i thought the ending was unsatisfying#regardless of all that though there WERE some parts i enjoyed or found kind of funny or whatever. because knuckles so cutesy as always#knuckles being a cute little guy is the most important part of the show actually#and i liked the parts with sonic tails and maddie even if they were only there for like 5 minutes#(i really wish those three had gotten more screentime. i feel like they could have easily worked in at least one more scene with them)#and its a minor thing but the opening sequence is cute. was honestly expecting just a title card or something#overall the show is just . kind of okay i guess. not the worst thing ive ever seen but still disappointing ? idk how to explain..#my expectations also werent very high in the first place#so maybe im being a bit more generous than i would have been otherwise. idk#and i definitely would not recommend this to anyone who already dislikes the sonic movies . youll probably hate this more#like people who thought the human characters got too much screentime in the second movie would lose their minds if they saw this
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So the book club that I've been in since 2022 has 9 regular members now including me, and we have collectively read a total of 28 books together now. This month we put all of our book choices and the members' ratings of the books on an Excel spreadsheet, and have been having fun figuring out various trends and statistics and so on – what decades we have mostly read from, what countries, what genres, what our most and least highly rated picks were for each year, etc. I also thought it would be fun to use the spreadsheet on my own to figure out who rates things most and least similarly to each other in the club. What shocked me was that I found out that I scored the number one most similar/compatible rater to every single other person in the club except two (I was 2nd most similar rater for somebody and 4th most similar rater for the other). Also, apparently me and the guy who I scored least compatible with based on our ratings/taste have the top rated book selections on average in the club so far. I'm not at all sure what this means except that I just know from now on I'm going to have this secret semi-subconscious goal in my mind of inching my way higher in this one outlier book club member's taste compatibility scoring for 2025 hahaha
#not like in a 'im going to change my ratings or book selections intentionally to do so' way#just like in a 'im going to be paying closer attention to this from now on and watching it with interest' sort of way#because there's nothing i love more than setting myself dumb secret challenges and experiments#this book club member also scored as the member with the most unpredictable ratings i think?#you just never know what he's gonna think of something which makes it interesting i suppose#like for example when i was being really harsh on study for obedience he ended up rating it 4 stars#also there are SO many questions in my mind about why i am most compatible with 6 out of 8 of the members there rn#like is it mostly because of me or them or just a mix of both#i plotted our ratings out on a line for each book and saw that very often i tend to be in the middling upper portion of the ratings we give#like im almost never the one giving it the highest rating of all but im also usually more generous with the stars i give than the others#and ive never given the lowest rating in the group of all on any book either#so is it just like not being too extreme but also slightly more positive with your ratings leads to being most likely to match others?#i think it must also depend on how other people are rating them. like are they using other people's ratings to decide their own or not#i tend to try to just rate the books based purely on my own taste and regardless of what the others thought#but idk about everybody else#also im glad that i think most of us are also trying to be fair like we will rate our own books low if we genuinely didn't enjoy them too#ALSO AT THE END OF THE DAY book club is definitely about more than just slapping a star rating on a book#and the star rating sometimes has little to do with how great a book club discussion you'll get out of it#but i still think we're having a friendly competition over trying to get the highest ratings from the others#idk sorry this is how i actually have fun hahaha like this is my team sports#another weird stat i found interesting was that i have given out an average of 3.15 stars to the books#and my selections for the club have been rated an average of 3.14 stars by the group#i was the only member to have these numbers be so close together as well#p
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Writing over 30,000 words worth of content for a fic only to realize it’s all pointless because you have no interest in it anymore and you were never gonna finish it anyway….
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What even is The Point anymore
#current mood#it’s so joever#this isn’t even the worst part honestly#what really sucks is that this project was the last thing in my life I had any sustainable interest in and now that’s gone too.#now I have nothing. like#the fuck am I supposed to do??? get a new interest??? that’s fucking impossible#nothing hits like it used to and everything is just….bland….and SO MUCH EFFORT to get into#like hobbies are so difficult? and my old hobbies (ex writing) are becoming more and more toxic and like a chore rather than something fun#like writing at this point has become a battle of perfectionism and I’m fucking losing#what am I supposed to do. nothing inspires me. I have no interests. no hobbies. not many friends irl#and it’s not like we ever hang out because people are a fucking piece of work#either they cling to you like dog shit or they never respond to your texts no in between#im just so tired of existing??? and also college??? is fine but like#what the fuck am I DOING here like#why am I getting an art degree??? is this really how I should be spending my time and my parents money?#what the fuck am I gonna do for a job??? what do I WANT from a job???? I don’t even fucking know#i can’t see myself being happy in life doing anything and that’s such a nonstarter#it makes it impossible to start planning anything because I feel paralyzed with fear#and like I said….i don’t have any interests. I don’t LIKE anything. I am the antithesis of curiosity and interest like. there’s just nothing#i can’t do this anymore#im so done#idk why I made this so long but#I guess I have a lot on my mind I wanted to share#sorry for cringe posting on main it will happen again#im sorry in general actually for everything im sorry for being needy and attention seeking and annoying and flaky and never finishing any of#my fics because I lose interest and for not responding to anyone in my inbox I’m sorry#personal#cringe#cringetober#long tags
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man i had a genuinley good day but i can feel myself ruining it in my head
#i went out today for my birthday and it was fun for me but i'm just rethinking it and making it worse#i dont like myself and so when people look at me i presume they must also not like me and i mean like instantly and idk#im just thinking about how many people must have scene me and how awful that mustve been#too tired im gonna go honk some shoos#text
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