#idk how im going to do anything this whole summer when my room is an oven

[skunkes]

im not going to lie to u i hate change and have always been incapable of having goals on where to live within my own state much less a completely different one but 26 years of this horrible weather that only gets worse has me semi considering moving out of texas. Somewhat.

[goblin-enjoyer]

Normalize the tf2 mercs as being absolute genetic freaks of nature under the hood. Medic is crazy and we know he gets paid good so he’s probably got lots of bits in his bin if you know what I mean.

Pyro is straight up nonhuman. Pyro is a fire elemental that the Mann brothers have bound to a hazmat suit and medic made a real boy by giving them meat. Not making her a human body mind you, but rather every time he gets damaged, instead of bursting into flames meat forms around the wound and it bleeds instead of letting the inner crea tur out.how? Wizard. Moving on.

Soldier has massive lungs that make him 20% more louder. If he was smarter he could probably echolocate his way around. That or sound attacks idk he eats wizard pills he could have hollow bones for all I know. Sure he has hallow bones now for rocket jumping. Im the one typing I get to make nonsense on the fly.

Medic put pigeon dna in scout and that’s how he makes his trademark milk-like substance. How this happens you may ask? Scout saw medics doves have sex while getting his second Uber heart surgery and said “man I wish I could pick up chicks that well” and medic said “good idea I will help you with this” and then looked at the camera and smirked. The administrator does not spectate medics lab/operation room/dove breeding center anymore. Also scouts immune to radiation due to all the bonk he ingests, though sometimes he does become radioactive sometimes. 

We already know that demoman’s body creates alcohol and that he has a ghost eye, but did you know that if you shoot him with some sort of piercing explosive round he will combust into flames. I… I couldn’t really think of anything for demoman I don’t play him as much.

Engineer always wishes he could have kids, but doesn’t want to have sex. That and he removed most of his reproductive/unnecessary/extra/mid organs with machine parts like 30 years ago. So after the events of the games and comics where everyone is happy and junk, he teams up with medic to make himself some half robot half human half whatever dell conagher is at that point at time children. He asks if medic ever want kids he can do the same for him but he declines as at this point in time he has perfected the art of male impregnation.(on various ape parts) dell is a great father and yes I added this part because the whole humanized sentry thing that went around a while ago touched my heart because despite the words of almost every engineer main everywhere I get so attached to the sentries I build that I die a little bit inside every time I die and my buildings get sapped and I have to just watch as my babies get destroyed. I get too attached to my buildings to play engineer

Heavy doesn’t stop growing, similar to that of a reptile. His skin is as thick as a rhinos. He hibernates for a month in summer because I said so. He has accidentally killed/crushed medic before and is now eternally cautious when in bed with him. Medic doesn’t mind, he knows what he’s gotten himself into. Heavy can also talk to birds like a Disney princess. Medic didn’t add any bird parts for this to happen he just was always like this.

Sniper can dislocate every bone in his body and go through cracks that are at least the size of his head. He will use this to show up in the most unexpected places imaginable. Is legally classified as an tardigrade in some places due to his ability to be fine in almost any place (volcano,Arctic,sewer system, a walk in closet so large it took him 5 weeks to get out, space that one time). Can go up to a year without eating (the team found this out at the same time they figured out the space thing). Swallows things whole.

Spy can shift his flesh around to disguise as almost anything, keeps the mass and weight though. Breaths mostly through his skin so he doesn’t cough due to his decrepit lungs. Was hit by a car once. Doesn’t have anything to do with the subject matter of the tf2 mercs being freakish beings with human skin but I just wanted to include it here.

Medic. What isn’t medic? The only thing consistent with his biology is that he can regenerate somehow. He alters his body so much that it is roughly equivalent to 1 tyranid hive fleet and 2,million ork painboys.(the tf2 mercs would be more likely to work for the orks than to ever work for one of the human factions in 40k and I just needed to get that off my chest) This is how he manages to get away with all the things he’s done. Banned from this continent? Just become a new person who’s not banned from that continent and presto you’re good! The laws don’t account for the ship of Theseus!

[rhaenicentpilled]

here it iss

1. whats your favorite thing in your room? The bed Duh.

2. how tall do you wish you were? Something around 165/170 maybe.

3. what color is your hair? Brown but not virgin anymore :’(

4. whats a rare fear that you have? Im a sheep even in my fears so nothing out of norm fears.

5. are you single? As a dollar bill baby (heard this from a JT song).

6. has your heart ever been broken? By love? No.

7. what was your favorite thing as a kid? Reading!

8. favorite coping mechanism? Dk actually.

9. whats your favorite love language? To receive? Word of affirmation, to give physical touch maybe.

10. how often do you get nervous? A Lot!

11. if you had three wishes, would you use them? Yes obviously but I would overthink them a loooot that the genie would probably ditch me.

12. if you could be fluent in any language which one would it be? LATIN! Because I would love to be fluent is something as ancient but also more basic answers like Spanish which im alr learning, something from south Asia like Tamil, something from east Asia like Korean or Chinese, something from Africa like i want to know all languages.

13. where do you wish to live? Everywhere all at once, but maybe somewhere by the beach but still city populated you know?

14. what’s something surprising about you? Not sure really. 😅

15. when did you last shower? Today!

16. when did you first join tumblr? Way back then but I keep deleting accounts and coming back.

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why? Yess, i would love a sleeve, maybe a tramp stamp, definitely something on the thigh so basically a sketchbook vibe. No real idea about the actual tattoos nor their significance lol.

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had? Currently thankfully im not dreaming about anything prominent but I used to dream about malls a lot ( yes shopping malls, literally every dream..).

19. whats your dream job? Something well paying, not a desk, something I enjoy, now its just up to capitalism to makeup a job for me.

20. whats your ideal date? Cinema /dinner duo never disappoints I feel but its too first-datey so idk.

21. what do you wish you could do better? Self discipline.

22. what country would you live in if you could? Again everywhere but no country in particular i feel a draw to.

23. whos the best person you know? Cringe answer im legally obliged to say my family and friends.

24. have you ever walked into something you shouldnt have? No? Thankful.

25. whats your favorite holiday? Summer break because its the longer break, but winter/spring for the actual festivities and having fun.

26. when have you been most embarrassed? Last week when i had a presentation and i felt my voice going ooOoOoo Not fun.

27. whats your favorite halloween costume? Dont celebrate Halloween myself, but for people I love either really weird costumes or really slutty ones.

28. what are you best at? Dk 🫣

29. do you know how to tie your shoes? Yup! I do the bow/ bunny ears one.

30. do you have siblings? Yup! Im a middle child lets keep it at that.

31. if you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know? Weird answer but hows earth as a whole doing :) I love my little rock.

32. whats a dealbreaker for you? If we dont vibe, like realllly dont. I usually have a decent enough read of people so yeah thats a dealbreaker.

33. whats your favorite current class? Something about AI and business, the lecturer is doing too much but the course is fun.

34. how many people have you dated? 0, unfortunately my hair is the only non virgin thing in me.

35. how often do you wash your hair? Once a week, twice if its being really difficult.

36. do you daydream? what about? Yes, usually about my latest celeb crush :)

37. where do you go to be alone? My bed Duh.

38. which parent do you like more? Legally obliged to say Mom. sorry dad!

39. whats the one standard you hold yourself to? To never be stick in the mud, to be constantly curious and active brain wise and i think im doing good so far.

40. whos voice do you enjoy? Music wise? a lot of singers, i dont even mind listening to annoying ones when their instrumentals are beautiful im not picky with it.

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be? From the river to the sea Palestine will be free, every tyrant need to hear that :)

42. whats one thing you wanna do but havent yet? Diving!

43. what do you wish you never did? Actually idk but i dont like living a life of regrets so maybe i just wiped it from my brain

44. do you believe in life after death? Yes.

45. do you prefer book over movie? Yes absolutely because i love imagining worlds plucked from authors minds however with the declining of book qualities i reach for movies when i want something to engage me.

46. whats your favorite season? Spring.

47. whats your favorite time of day? Early morning till early afternoon, then late afternoon till 8 also late nights duhh.

48. do you have a beloved stuffed animal? I do have a precious polar bear from Jellycat, a gray kitty gifted by my precious friend and a bunch of others i dont sleep with them.

49. whens a time you wish you acted differently? My entire childhood but again whats the point of regrets now yolo!

50. what’s something you wish that you never bought? Me regreting a purchase? Please bffr. I do thankfully never regret buying stuff i love buying stuff! Or maybe when i spend the last bit of money of something thats not a necessity i regret it until i get money again

51. do you have your own room? Sorta kinda.

52. whats your favorite book? A poetry collection called “bless the daughter raised by a voice in her head”. Beautifully crafted and i reread it every year on my bday!

53. who’s someone you hate? Everyone but also not nearly enough people 😇.

54. whats your best hottake? Again im a sheep with these takes, but idk i truly think the losses of communities between people is the loss of us as humans.Cold ass take

55. whats your favorite game? On phone, candy crush a suburban mom at heart, a video game is probably Zelda. Dont mind ive been stuck on botw for literal years.

56. whens a time you felt real genuine fear? When the panic attacks hits ha!

57. are you a morning person? 6am morning? No. 10 am morning? Yes.

58. do you drink enough water? No but this reminded me so thx x.

59. how different are you from the little kid you used to be? A lot more outspoken and confident!

60. do you enjoy tumblr? Well ive been back for a less than a week so give me time to hate it again.

61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app? No.

62. whats your least favorite game? bayonetta not because its a bad game because its so hard i gave up.

63. were you a markiplier fan? No, my knowledge of him is his face and name.

64. how do you respond to compliments? Blush and immediately fire it back to them.

65. whats something that would make you fall in love? Im hopeless romantic at heart i dont think it’ll take much.

66. do you believe in marriage? The eternal commitment of one soul to another absolutely, the more boring societal enforced parts nope

67. do you have a crush on someone? Rn? Nope.

68. do you like tumblr? Meh, hardly top 3 sm apps imo. idk how ppl just mainly use it. Is it the nostalgia be honest

69. were you a voltron stan? No i was normal 😊

70. whats your favorite ship? Look at my user! Rhaenicent my beloved doomed yuri

71. whats your favorite song? Rn? Roc Steady by Megan Thee Stallion ft. Flo Milli.

72. do you like loud crowds? Impartial leaning to no.

73. have you ever created conflict on purpose? Yup! Favourite pastime 😈

74. how do you sleep? On my back, or either sides no real preference.

75. do you bite your lips? Haha yes, was doing it just now.

76. do you use chapstick? Yup!

77. do you have any pets? Noo :(

78. what color are your eyes? Brown! Supremacy.

79. what’s something you wish you could change about yourself? Nah we are not doing that, i love myself as it is, physically or otherwise 🫶

80. have you ever had surgery? Thankfully no!

81. whats your least favorite animal? Scared of anything that isnt a trained pet so its a broad category.

82. whats something that youre really bad at? Not to toot my own horn but nothing? I can’t remember anything really and i feel if i wanted something to do i would be Ok at whatever i wished!

83. do you have an sqishmellows? I have a tiny squid thats two faced.

84. do you enjoy fast food? Guilty.

85. do you like soda? Guiltyyyy.

86. what grade are you in? University sophomore baby.

87. do you wear any jewelry? My earrings and nose ring always, and bracelets and necklaces depending on the day.

88. what socials do you use? In order of most usage, Twitter, Tiktok, IG, tumblr now made the list ( i have discord and reddit but i dont really use them).

89. whats your lowest grade in school right now? If im not careful im looking at a scathing C oops.

90. whats the latest youve stayed up till? Yesterday till 7 am oops.

91. did you ever have bangs? Yess, love the buildup to getting them, then you get them and the regrets set it, mine are finally normal length now.

92. what trends did you hate? Any of 20-22 trends really in clothing specifically but the online spaces as a whole sucked then lol.

93. whats your favorite item of clothing? Shirts!

94. do you like dinosaurs? birds weird ancestors. Absolutely!

95. whats your opinion on body hair? Its alright, its there its your body just like i dont have an opinion on peoples bodies, the hair is included.

96. whats your least favorite time? Noon but only for the heat.

97. do you make a wish at 11:11? When i catch the time yes why not a cute superstition.

98. do you have your phone on military or regular? Regular, be normal yall…

99. have you ever been to church? No! Been to another place of worship though.

100. are you lgbtq? Duh im a queer!

ask game

1. whats your favorite thing in your room?

2. how tall do you wish you were?

3. what color is your hair?

4. whats a rare fear that you have?

5. are you single?

6. has your heart ever been broken?

7. what was your favorite thing as a kid?

8. favorite coping mechanism?

9. whats your favorite love language?

10. how often do you get nervous?

11. if you had three wishes, would you use them?

12. if you could be fluent in any language which one would it be?

13. where do you wish to live?

14. what’s something surprising about you?

15. when did you last shower?

16. when did you first join tumblr?

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why?

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had?

19. whats your dream job?

20. whats your ideal date?

21. what do you wish you could do better?

22. what country would you live in if you could?

23. whos the best person you know?

24. have you ever walked into something you shouldnt have?

25. whats your favorite holiday?

26. when have you been most embarrassed?

27. whats your favorite halloween costume?

28. what are you best at?

29. do you know how to tie your shoes?

30. do you have siblings?

31. if you could know one thing about the future what do you wanna know?

32. whats a dealbreaker for you?

33. whats your favorite current class?

34. how many people have you dated?

35. how often do you wash your hair?

36. do you daydream? what about?

37. where do you go to be alone?

38. which parent do you like more?

39. whats the one standard you hold yourself to?

40. whos voice do you enjoy?

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?

42. whats one thing you wanna do but havent yet?

43. what do you wish you never did?

44. do you believe in life after death?

45. do you prefer book over movie?

46. whats your favorite season?

47. whats your favorite time of day

48. do you have a beloved stuffed animal?

49. whens a time you wish you acted differently?

50. what’s something you wish that you never bought?

51. do you have your own room?

52. whats your favorite book?

53. who’s someone you hate?

54. whats your best hottake?

55. whats your favorite game?

56. whens a time you felt real genuine fear?

57. are you a morning person?

58. do you drink enough water?

59. how different are you from the little kid you used to be?

60. do you enjoy tumblr?

61. have you ever had a tumblr experience that made you wanna delete the app?

62. whats your least favorite game?

63. were you a markiplier fan?

64. how do you respond to compliments?

65. whats something that would make you fall in love?

66. do you believe in marriage?

67. do you have a crush on someone?

68. do you like tumblr?

69. were you a voltron stan?

70. whats your favorite ship?

71. whats your favorite song?

72. do you like loud crowds?

73. have you ever created conflict on purpose?

74. how do you sleep?

75. do you bite your lips?

76. do you use chapstick?

77. do you have any pets?

78. what color are your eyes?

79. what’s something you wish you could change about yourself?

80. have you ever had surgery?

81. whats your least favorite animal?

82. whats something that youre really bad at?

83. do you have an sqishmellows?

84. do you enjoy fast food?

85. do you like soda?

86. what grade are you in?

87. do you wear any jewelry?

88. what socials do you use?

89. whats your lowest grade in school right now?

90. whats the latest youve stayed up till?

91. did you ever have bangs?

92. what trends did you hate?

93. whats your favorite item of clothing?

94. do you like dinosaurs?

95. whats your opinion on body hair?

96. whats your least favorite time?

97. do you make a wish at 11:11?

98. do you have your phone on military or regular?

99. have you ever been to church?

100. are you lgbtq?

[gracethefoundfamilyfan]

ok ok ok i gotta rant a little bit

idk if im ace or aro or not and im cool w not knowing cuz i barely know anything about myself atm i just starting forming my own personality actively like a year and a half ago

BUT

i always assumed i would end up without a bf, out of all of my friends, bc my goals in a hypothetical relationship are to be best friends and borderline soulmates before even BREACHING the topic of romance. this is made easier by the fact that i have literally NEVER felt physical attraction towards anyone, and i'm a young adult, ok? everyone i know except for my aro friends have been in at least one relationship. not to say guys haven't tried!!! i've had two or three people ask me out, and i loved all of them-- just not in that way. my faith calls me to love all people unconditionally and deeply, to value and treasure them as a reflection of perfection and a deep, vast universe of experiences greater than i can begin to comprehend, and so, yes, i love people. my friends and i are very physically affectionate, and our conversations are deep and meaningful, and we show up for each other and care for each other and i think we love each other well. i try to extend that love to everyone i meet, no matter who they are. I love everyone, and i invite everyone to show love back! but not romance. i've never experienced that.

but lately something has felt different with this one specific guy. we've known each other for about seven years thru church. he's a year older than me, but he's so mature it feels like we live on different planets-- until this year, when we both applied to be summer interns at our church and got accepted. suddenly me and Mysterious Quiet Man are spending 30+ hours a week working side by side managing events, remodeling the children's room, leading projects, cooking meals, cleaning out closets-- and you know what? i'm so intimidated by this quiet stoic guy that I literally don't talk to him unless i have to. we work in companiable silence unless it's absolutely necessary for us to talk, because he's an introvert and idk how to do life. still, being in the same space teaches me a bit about him. He doesn't know as much as I think he does, it's just that he's so quiet I always assume he knows what's going on. He actually is capable of making mistakes-- he misspelled the name of the church on a pdf he sent for 50+ signs and had to fix it-- and he's really self-conscious about his art. we have a few artists in common when it comes to music taste. etc.

and then. AND FREAKING THEN. we go to church camp. Our one week off the whole summer, and we're both so in need of release that we turn into complete freaking idiots. AND! AND! WE ACTUALLY START TALKING!

he likes really deep, complex mystery books. he's terrified of graduating. he feels like he's leaving his life behind. he's going into trade school to be an electrician. he plays d&d. he thinks i'm an okay drummer. he loves swimming. his cousin drives him crazy but he would take a bullet for her, and if i tell her that i'm screwed. he does INCREDIBLE Renaissance fair costumes. his whole family is into music and he's grateful that he has people to teach him stuff. he's the most Band Kid in existence. he's super into coffee but hates how caffeine feels. Little people scare him. He loves hiking. He wishes he was more athletic, like his dad. he wants to write a book, but he doesn't know what yet. he's a good leader when he has to be. He hates raising his voice.

And he thinks I'm funny.

HE THINKS I'M FUNNY. In a dorky, kinda awkward way, sure, but good LORD I made him smile more than I've ever seen him smile at that camp (especially when he scared me and i did a full on backwards roll into my sister, that was fun), and I'm so freaking proud of myself for that.

still, all of this is normal for me! I love discovering new things about people! My respect and genuine appreciation for human beings grow when I begin to understand them, wow, that's how that works! That means nothing!

and then we lead the last four weeks of August Sunday school, and he helps me with my message when it feels like it's falling apart, and he gives me a little (awful) pep talk when I feel like I screwed up. He says I work better with kids than he ever could. I tell him you just have to treat them like really new adults. He crushes his next lesson.

and then we teach a bunch of kids science for a week. He helps me keep them in check, I help him not get too stressed over the details. the lady running the camp asks us to put together a crime scene for the kids to solve at the end of the week, with us as the culprits. we sign our names on secret plans, tear them up, scatter them around. we make it obvious that we leave right before the time of the crime so they'll suspect us. when he leaves, i make sure they notice, 'cause he's not quite loud enough. we scatter cookie crumbs around our chairs. we have not-so-quiet little conversations about the morality of stealing cookies with the other kids. We let the director chew us out for disappearing, and he asks if i'm ok when her Oscar-worthy performance actually scares me a little bit. the kids drag all the suspects into the hot seats. they examine our hands. a jury forms, and a police team-- i freaking love these kids, if i haven't made that clear, they're little geniuses when you actually let them use their imaginations. We get questioned. Our handwriting gets examined. So do our fingerprints. Then (my favorite part) we improv a whole story about how we're innocent, throwing shade at my sister and her stuffed sheep. Then we twist it on the director, bc she's the only one with access to the kitchen (not true btw). The kids see thru our lies, bc half of them have parents who've worked here to feed the homeless or make breakfast on Mother's Day or whatever. He yells at people. I yell at my sister. We put on a freaking awesome performance, and my energy bounces off of his-- we make a great team, and I haven't seen him this energetic ever. My sister makes a stupid joke, and he's so caught up in it that he laughs so hard he ends up on the floor. I buzz about that for the next hour.

Then, he gets incriminated. Playing my part, I pull the Among Us move and try to get him in the spotlight so I get voted innocent. They're about to take him away.

And then he grabs me by the shoulders, heaves me up, forces me in front of him, and says "IF I'M GETTING CAUGHT, SHE'S GOING DOWN WITH ME!" We get darn near tackles by a swarm of kids who are totally in-character-- one of them has even got the waterworks going, and he looks at me and says 'I trusted you, mom!'. I give my tearful apology, and then I wrench myself free (he never let go, that's kinda weird) and declare: "OKAY, FINE, YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT WE DID? DANIEL, YOU GAVE US AWAY, WHY DON'T YOU TELL THEM"

cue four minutes of what my friend called 'old married couple arguing' over whose fault it was.

and then we reveal the ice cream sandwiches we supposedly made with the cookies we supposedly stole, and all of a sudden we're forgiven.

best afternoon ever spent.

slight caveat.

forty kids now ship me and him. one of them makes a little heart with our initials on it. he sees it. i don't get to see his reaction bc my sister almost drops a whole gatorade cooler worth of lemonade and i have to run over to help her.

and then, the internship is over. we don't see each other for another month. when we do, he's an adult staffer, and i'm still just an assistant. but he sticks around the youth stuff, since we don't have anyone who can play the lower bells on the youth handbell choir. i get a new little Padawan to teach in the ancient technique of making metal things go clang. I'm also lined up in the perfect way that I can see his eyes light up every single time we get a complicated polyrhythm right or finally manage to hit a key change without sounding like a horror film just started. i also get to see him bounce when our director tells him he can chaperone on our trip to the bell fest if he wants.

bell fest gets cancelled. the director gets us permission to use the church and host our own. guy in question is the first one to get there and the last one to leave, and i'm second. old internship habits die hard. or maybe we just care too much.

"It's not quite the same," he says when I ask, "but it's still really nice."

i think he thinks it's about the people, just like I do.

That's also when I notice we both have a little brown freckle in our eyes. His are ice blue, though, and they've got little patterns in them. I was only looking to make sure he was telling the truth.

we host a local mission trip, and i get to see him chase the goof of the group around trying to get his weedwhacker back. two nights later, I'm trying to get said goof off my drum set ten minutes before a performance so we can do our final soundcheck and Guy stares him right off the stage, and then gets all of us waters and me a pad so my stupid kick will stop sliding around. I hadn't even thought to ask.

now it's two months later, and our church is fracturing. we've gone a year and a few months without a pastor, and people are getting tired of it. Everyone's doing a little more than they can handle trying to fill the wake our old (retired) pastor left behind. there's spiritual warfare. the guy the pastor search committee brought in tried to convince us half of our Bible was fake. people are getting hit right in their weak spots, and people are scared, and everyone's getting hurt and tired and there's talk of giving up.

we hold a conference to air out our feelings. anything can be said. on mic. and it won't be held against us. we need to get messy, get empty, hug it out, and start fresh with all this petty crap behind us. we listen to person after person air out their fears, frustrations, angers, hurts, etc, and towards the end I get up and take the mic.

"I wasn't gonna say anything." I say. "I don't even technically belong here, because I'm not a member. I have no business telling anyone anything. But I think I have to say this. I know life sucks, and everything about our situation sucks, but you know what? I'm so proud of all of you. Most of the churches I know would've fallen apart by now. I've seen it happen. What you have here, this commitment, this vulnerability-- it's special. It's real. It's what God commands us to strive for, and it's something the world desperately needs more of. So please, don't stop. I know it sucks. But for the love of God, please keep fighting for each other, because none of us can afford to lose another family."

i sit down. my sister wouldn't come. she said it's not worth it. she thinks people hate her. she still (as of me writing this) won't tell me why.

after it's over, we sing. we sing of God's unending grace and mercy and we sing of trust and new beginnings and we pray for strength and unity and love that not even human hearts can create. and in the shadows of the dimly lit chapel, i think i see it. people of all ages and races, mostly in pajamas, a few unlucky ones still in their work clothes, hugging and talking and praying over one another when hours ago there had been coldness and anger. i walk over to his cousin, who spoke after me and begged the people to fight for us, so that we could have a place like this to go to when we have nowhere else to go. i think they listened to her. she really can't lose more family. I hug her. She's crying. I hug her aunt. She's crying too. Guy comes up. He thanks me for saying what I said. "I was disappointed, before," he says, "but now I can see what you mean. I wish I'd gone up too. You're right. We need to fight for this."

"What would you have said?" I ask. "If you'd gone up."

He says he had ideas, perfect speeches that would open eyes and turn hearts. He says that's not the way the world works, though, and he didn't feel like he had anything to add.

"I think it would've been great." I say. "Even if it's not perfect, it's still worth saying."

then the director comes over. He's gotten the short end of the Responsibility stick, and apparently what me and Cousin said got to him, because he hugs both of us and thanks us for telling him that the community he's given his life to is actually helping people. then he hugs Guy, too, and Guy hugs him back tight and scrunches his eyes closed, like he's holding on just in case he doesn't get another chance. and here he said he wasn't a hugger.

then we all go get dinner, and i see him laughing with his mom. there's a softness to him, and a light in his eyes that i rarely get to see. i'm almost jealous, that that wonderful side of him only really comes out with her.

it's been a couple weeks, and i still can't get that image of him out of my head. it's weird. part of me thinks i'm really into cracking people and getting to see who they are on the inside and why they do what they do and who they are, and I totally am, but usually that goes away after a couple weeks. it's been six months. maybe it's just because there's still so much i don't know about him? maybe because he's a music guy and i'm a music girl and i desperately need more friends who share that part of themselves with me? maybe it's because we've known each other for seven years but i'm about to leave for college and i'm desperate not to waste any more time? Maybe our souls just click.

point is, i have no freaking idea what romance is supposed to feel like and i love everyone a little too easily and i don't have physical attraction sensors so i can't tell if i'm really into him as a person or as a potential partner but it doesn't freaking matter because i'm leaving in like seven months anyways and i'm going to be hours away and I am not getting into a relationship right now. period.

BUT IM STILL UP AT TWO AM TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT SO SEND HELP

[semiotomatics]

yeah okay lets talk abt this (sorry it got long i needed to vent lol)

okay so. the basics: started getting pretty severe back pain in 2013 when i started having to stand for 8 hours at a time at my job. ended up getting a workers comp claim filed and going to physio, where they taught me some exercises to strengthen my core/other muscles + got those like, deep tissue/pressure point massages w heat or w/e. but the workers comp only lasted like a couple months or smth so i stopped going after that

fast forward to summer 2015 n im at a local street festival n a chiropractor is offering free x-rays + consult for ppl experiencing back pain. well! i absolutely was still experiencing back pain! so i got said free x-rays n at the consult learned that i had 1) scoliosis 2) a tilted pelvis and 3) an extra lumbar vertebrae. he (ofc) recommended i start getting treated by him but a) my medical at the time didnt cover chiropractors and b) iiiii didnt really have the best opinion of chiropractic uhhh anything xD so i declined

over the next seven years my back pain got worse and worse, and i developed pain basically throughout my entire body, with the worst of it centring around my lower back/knees/ankles/feet. in late 2020 i finally got fitted for custom orthotics during which the...guy-who-gets-you-fitted-for-orthotics noted i had "some of the flattest feet he had ever seen" (possibly also some of the most flexible ankles he had ever seen as well, i cant remember lol). i already knew i had flat feet (obvs) n suspected my ankles were fucked up but it was v validating to hear him confirm that both of these things would increase my chances of experiencing back/knee/ankle/foot pain. unfortunately, i got those orthotics shortly after getting laid off from work n ended up not working again till almost a year later so i wasn't really able to like, test them out for a while, and by the time i did and found out they didnt really help, my free adjustment period had ended :(

alongside the chronic back/joint pain i also started experiencing sciatic nerve pain as well as routinely "throwing out" my back (idk if i pinch a nerve or tear a muscle or what but im basically bedbound for like. a week or more and if i move or use that muscle at all its the most excruciating pain ive ever experienced in my life). in late summer 2022 i "threw out my back" while volunteering n ended up walking on it for like. a couple hours afterwards which uhhhhhhhhh fucked me up severely. the pain started radiating out from my back into my hips/legs, and my hips literally just straight up stopped moving/working right anymore. i was walking like, not with a limp but almost like with a weird sway to my hips? aaaaand my scoliosis reversed itself!!! where before my spine had curved to one side, all of a sudden it was curving the other way!! and the curve was much more noticeable just by looking at my silhouette in the mirror than it ever had been before!! which was not a thing i thought could happen!! so like, what the fuck!!

i ended up getting prescribed prescription-strength muscle relaxants as well as prescription-strength naproxen for that injury, which was a godsend, but i also was motivated, mostly by the whole scoliosis-reversal thing, to actually get my back checked out by someone to see wtf was going on. so i went to a local clinic (i have no pcp) and explained my situation to the dr, basically everything ive just described here.

and he said. and i quote "well, losing weight would help with that"

.

you guys.

when i tell you that i burst into tears

i burst into tears in that room and begged him, begged him to help me find out what was wrong. i told him the pain was preventing me from working, preventing me from running errands, preventing me from living. i told him i was feeling actively suicidal because of both the pain itself and how it was destroying my life.

finally, after listening to all that, he said, exasperated: "well what do you want me to do?"

and i said "please, can you just refer me to get an x-ray to see what's going on with my back"

so he did. and i went and got an x-ray a few days later. i asked the tech there if i could get a copy of them and she said to wait until they were sent to the doctors office and request copies from them, so i did. when they hadn't called me back in a couple weeks i called them asking if they had received them yet. they said no. i asked if they would call me when they did. they said yes.

they never did.

that was in december 2022. then 2023 happened and i just. i gave up yall. i gave up on ever getting a fucking answer for why i was in so much pain, let alone ever being able to fix it. even after my breakdown this summer which finally led to me starting on antidepressants and then therapy, i still didnt have a shred of faith that id ever be able to get any dr to give a shit abt the debilitating pain i had spent the last decade of my life experiencing

and then. finally. this week. i was just like. fuck it. whats the email of that clinic. and i found it, and i emailed them asking for copies of my x-rays, if they still had them. and they responded! the very next day! unfortunately they only gave me the...i assume radiologists? findings rather than the x-rays themselves (im gonna write back seeing if/how i can get those, cause i do still want them for my records). but still!! oh my god!! its been an entire calendar year but i finally got to find out what the results were!!

so the extra lumbar vertebrae i knew already. the rest i was kinda surprised to hear cause like? ive seen my 2015 x-rays and they clearly showed my scoliosis/tilted pelvis? so i assumed this would too? but who knows! it had been seven years! also the first set were done standing up, while these ones were done lying down, so idk how that might affect things. in any case, i decided to google this "presumed lumbarization of S1 vertebra", just to see what came up

yall.

yall.

so like!!! okay!!! when i was told the whole "having an extra lumbar vertebra was fine and wouldn't cause back pain" thing that was just straight up false i guess!! and when i went to the dr and told him i had low back pain + scoliosis + an extra lumbar vertebra he should've!! perhaps!! investigated further!!

i cannot explain to you how furious this makes me. whether this is the exclusive cause of my back pain, a contributing cause, hell, even if its a complete red herring. every source i read indicated that if a patient presents with chronic severe low back pain AND known structural abnormalities (like literally all of mine!!) that they should fucking consider that perhaps those two things are related!! they should AT FUCKING LEAST try to rule them out as causes!!!!!!! they definitely shouldnt tell their (not in any way overweight btw) patient to lose weight!!!!!! fuck!!!!!

anyway. in the new year i am going to try again to get a dr to take me seriously. and maybe they wont. maybe ill have to cry and beg again for them to give me the basic standard of care. but fuck!! im not going to give up until SOMEONE agrees to actually figure out what the fuck is wrong with me!! i don't want to be in pain anymore!!! i just fucking dont!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT

fucking. fuck.

i dont have the energy/mental bandwidth to properly explain rn but i just Learned Something abt my body that could explain a biiiiiig part of the issues ive been having

and the fact that im only learning it now, in december 2023 at the age of almost-30, has me. fuming

i legitimately want every single apathetic/lazy/misogynistic/fucking ableist healthcare professional to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pepprs]

ive never been less prepared for anything else in the world than i am for the semester starting like everything is a wreck and i am too and summers over now so there’s nothing i can do about it!!!!!!!

[valberryy]

i wanna ruin our friendship. — childe

im sorry for using jenny song lyrics but its been living in my head rent free 😩 diversity win? anyways

the second of the raffle requests!! this one is for @pazii !! i had a lot of fun writing this, so i hope u like it!! <3 also i call childe by his real name here cause idk how to explain his uhhhhh soundcloud rapper nicknames or whatever in a modern au so. does peace sign in front of mirror

pairing: childe x gn!reader

content warnings: spoilers for childe's real name

Of all the ways Ajax expected his summer break to go, getting random texts from you was honestly a rather common occurrence—he'd have found it weirder to not hear from you, honestly, no matter the time of day.

What made this stranger than the normal "hey ugly where are u" messages he'd often get was the sheer absurdity of what you were asking: with no pretense whatsoever, he had been woken up at some ungodly time of the night to see a text from you that simply read, "can you pretend to be my boyfriend for a thing".

He simply rubbed at his eyes and went back to sleep.

The next day you barged into his apartment and made yourself at home on his couch, your feet up on the armrest as you explained yourself. "My cousin's getting married," you said, "and he and I made a bet a few years ago that I wouldn't be able to get a boyfriend by college."

Ajax raised an eyebrow, taking a sip of his coffee as he said, "And what does that have to do with me?"

"I hate losing."

He raised another eyebrow at your determined expression—and he'd deal with any and all jabs you'd make about how dumb he probably looked right now—but agreed, taking another swig of coffee as he did. He watched as you grinned, clapping your hands together in a way that made him suspect that he was definitely the first person you asked.

"Great! That's good!" You started digging through your pockets for your phone and continued to explain. He caught the date and also something about, "needing to act the part"—and he nearly dropped his mug as you dragged him forward by the collar with some starstruck look in your eyes.

"Let's go gift shopping, dearest boyfriend of mine!" you teased. "What better way to get into that mindset, you know?"

You stifled another laugh as he shoved his hand in your face and pushed you away.

And a few hours later, Ajax found himself strolling with you through one of the many malls near campus. At some point during the trip he had joked about wearing matching outfits, and it seemed you were so into the idea that he was at your mercy as you dragged him in and out of clothing stores. More than once had you shoved him back into the fitting room for coming out in what you called, "an insult to anyone with a decent sense of fashion."

"Oh? And would you prefer to dress me instead, sweetheart?"

"Just change back, Ajax!"

He laughed as you kicked at his shin to force him back inside.

By the end of the day, his and your arms alike were sore from the weight of the bags you'd been carrying around ("Hey! It's not my turn yet, take them back!"), but Ajax couldn't quite find it in himself to tease you for the dopey smile on your face as he walked you back home.

"If I'm going to be your pretend boyfriend, I need to go the whole nine yards," he had said.

You stopped walking in front of your door, peering into shopping bags and handing him the ones with his things in them. Ajax was about to bid you a simple goodnight right when you pulled him in for a hug, lingering for a few seconds longer with your hands wound tight against his waist.

"Thanks for agreeing," you said, and he could hear the beginnings of a laugh start to bubble up your throat, "even if it's kind of a dumb thing to ask."

You let him go before he could respond, making a show of blowing him a kiss as you closed the door.

Ajax' chest felt warm as he walked home that night.

"So, how thick do I need to lay it on them?"

He heard you let out a little snort from the passenger seat, hearing the rustling of your clothes as you inspected the wrapped gift in your hands for any dents. "Just don't go getting on one knee or anything," you said. "But don't worry, they'll love you...I think."

Ajax drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "You think," he repeated.

You snorted again, and through the corner of his vision, he caught the way you were smiling at him.

The rest of the trip was silent save for the occasional snide comment and the low droning of the radio, and the wedding ceremony itself was rather quick in and of itself—the parts that felt the longest were the ones that involved talking to your family.

But you stuck by his side after the ceremony and into the reception—in true best friend fashion, he joked—and instead of leaving him to the wolves, whatever fabricated stories dates you two went on (which were mostly just joyrides where Ajax dragged you to come with) left even your skeptical cousin looking convinced.

And then you were dragged away to dance with one of your younger cousins, and Ajax was left to the wolves.

Your cousin walked up to him and nudged his shoulder, jerking his chin in your direction. You had to bend down a fair bit to "dance" properly with the cousin who had dragged you off, and they were standing on your feet to boot, but you still looked rather happy in spite of that.

"Thanks for dealing with them," your cousin said, snapping Ajax out of his daze.

"If anything, I think you should thank [Name] for dealing with me."

With a laugh, your cousin clapped him on the shoulder before going off to mingle with the rest of your family, and Ajax found his gaze drawn back to you.

Somehow, he wished that the night would go by slower.

A few hours later, you stood by his side in the parking lot, rolling the few knots out of your neck as you waved goodbye to your relatives that passed by. "Ahh, I can't wait to get out of these shoes," you said.

Ajax glanced at you as he dug through his pockets for his keys. "Don't go stinking up my car, dearest partner of mine," he replied.

You laughed as you slipped into the passenger seat.

He hadn't bothered to turn on the radio, or the GPS for that matter, and you made an odd noise from the back of your throat once you realised his little detour. You turned to him with an eyebrow raised, and he looked at you as much as he could without taking his eyes off the road.

"Don't look at me like that," he teased. "Let me do this one last thing as your pretend boyfriend."

"Where are we even going?!"

He laughed, opening the windows and sputtering as a stray leaf hit you square in the face.

"We'll see when we get there."

You seemed about to curse at him again, before you settled with a fond sigh. "Well then, pretend boyfriend, you better make it count, hm?"

He didn't say anything in reply, only watching you out of the corner of his eye and watching the way the moonlight shone on your hair.

Maybe next time, he wouldn't have to play pretend.

[fallindomino]

how i would have changed s2 of hsmtmts

obvious disclaimer but im not a screenwriter or anyth so im not claiming what i want is best, this is just for fun lololol

okay so first of all nini would still have dropped out of yac but she wouldn’t have gone back to east, she would have transferred to north bc she was too ashamed to tell anyone she left at first and maybe she still wants to explore who she is away from ricky and the others

nini could join north’s batb and this way maybe we could have some playful rivalry with lily and nini and more scenes with antoine shdhdjdj also it could have been a great opportunity to flesh out lily’s character so those scenes where she reaches out to ricky and her confession at the end of the season actually make sense lol

speaking of ricky ,,, i think he should have left the play at some point hear me out. he only joined in the first place because of nini and barely wanted to do it at all once he realized he wasn’t gonna be able to perform with her. he could have joined crew and been a manager with natalie or smth considering he rlly does see the theater gang as a second family. also this would leave so much room for ej and ricky development and bants since ej joined the av club and began to pursue film. they could have some convos where idk ricky asks ej how he figured out what he wanted to do after duke didn’t work out and ricky could actually develop some interests that arent the play or nini ,,, maybe fucking art club i mean he did p good on that centerpiece for carlos’ quinceañera.

with ricky not being the beast anymore i think seb should take his place that would be soooo good. and since seb isn’t chip anymore carlos won’t make those snide comments about chip being a small unimportant role and we can just cut that whole fight bc it was dumb and bad. we could still have seb being insecure that carlos is only dating him bc there aren’t really any other gay guys at school. in a heartbeat is great and i did like ricky being supportive in the background it was kinda funny too idk dhdjdjfj

ooh i almost forgot abt rini ahshdj okay so i still think they should break up. but in my version there’s no ricky pulling an ej 1.0 and deleting comments off of nini’s insta, cause with ricky in art club and nini at north trying to figure out what she wants i think one of them would realize that they’re going in different directions and only got back tgt because they made each other feel safe cause what they had was familiar. this could be triggered by ricky mentioning smth abt nini at yac and then nini breaks down and tells him that she dropped out and is at north and doesn’t know where she’s going. and then they can both realize they aren’t good for each other rn and have a less tragic mutual break up.

honestly i really liked the scene of nini taking charge after miss jenn freaked out cause with the character detail of nini giving every person in the cast of productions she’s in a thank you note she just seems really like someone who is suited to lifting others up. this could still be explored at north, maybe she could help lily through her issues that were briefly implied in ep 11 and nini realizes she wants to be a drama teacher and encourage kids to go off book and put themselves into their acting, something she couldn’t have at yac.

okay now ej ,,, so like i said in ricky’s section, more bants between them cause i feel like friendships kinda fell by the wayside due to all the relationships so more friendship !!!! also the scene where ej tells his dad he’s not going to duke shouldn’t have been an ending scene, it should have been fleshed out with his dad pushing back saying how he pulled all these strings to get him in and ej saying he doesn’t wanna go if his own hard work couldn’t get him there. and also more scenes of ej doing av club things !!! and realizing he rlly likes film and wants to do it OMG IT WOULD BE SO COOL IF HE BROKE THE FOURTH WALL AND ASKED THE DOCUMENTARY CREW ABT THE FILM INDUSTRY god i would love that. the only scene we rlly got of ej doing film things was at the quinceañera which made me kinda sad. uhhh also i just wanted to specifically mention how ej got mr mazzara that job at cal tech bc it really showed how he wanted to be there for people not just for gina, who he had a crush on, but for mr mazzara who supported him outside of romance, so i wanna keep that for sure.

gina !!! okay so i mostly liked her arc in this season, the only changes i would make would be to flesh it out a teeny bit (god this hypothetical s2 would have to be like 22 eps at least shdjdjdjfj) anyways besides ashlyn singing home to get gina to stay i think there should be a scene where they actually talk in her room abt how gina feels safer when shes on the run (second chance reference ilysm) hhhh and also a scene of her and carlos actually working out compromises for their choreo cause i liked that bit of development too and fleshing that out would make gina an even better foil for lily, who felt a need to hog the spotlight like gina used to. with gina’s own arc fleshed out her character would feel more whole independently from romance and portwell would be even more rewarding than it is in the current s2. the only thing i would really change abt portwell is that they would kiss !!! in the finale but thats bc im biased.

ashlyn should have gotten a more fleshed out storyline about being insecure about not being a good enough belle or the typical belle. there were some throwaway lines when north did their typical dramatics but the only two real scenes that showed it were when ash talked to big red about it and when she was telling nini she wanted to do a run in “home” bc lily did it. ashlyn should get more screen time where she has to grapple with the reasons she doesn’t feel good enough and big red can still support her but also gina too bc i would like more roommate besties interaction.

kourtney could still date howie, that harry potter shit was cute but there needs to be smth else for kourtney’s arc. idk she’s still into fashion so maybe she could be out here trying to create her own line or smth? this doesn’t have to be resolved in s2 like making a wholeass line takes time and she could work on it into a potential s3. kourtney just didnt get much outside of howie and the stuff at the beginning of the season where she said nini inspired her to be independent and that's why she got a job was just dropped?? so i think that fashion could fill that for her if she’s still dating howie cause like having her whole arc just be the pizza place kinda overlaps w big red’s mini arc abt how he wasn’t settling for hospitality, its what he wants to do with his life.

ik what ur thinking. anna, even if you added more episodes, where would u find the room to add all these plotlines?? well first we cut (most of) the seblos fight, so thats some time saved. honestly most of the time that we r going to gain is going to be from cutting ms jenn’s time. things like ms jenn’s and nini’s car ride would get cut, but mostly all of ms jenn’s romances would get cut down. considering she’s the teacher and isn’t actually a character with an arc how does she have THREE love interests this season?? like all of the weird tension between her and zack can be cut, like just some short scenes of them being competitive can stay. all of the stuff with ricky’s dad can go bye bye we don’t need it. i did like her w mr mazzara so most of that can stay i just didn’t like how he said he would give up cal tech for her, ew no that would be gone.

the MENKIES !!!! this is the last thing im gonna address cause in a perfect world every character would get a long fleshed out arc but then the season would be waaay too long and also im mostly trying to work within material the show gave so this is mostly made up of “realistic” deviations from what actually happened. lol idk what that even means it just makes sense to me. but anyways!! uhhh bro idk i thought them dropping the menkies was funny but it also made the finale really BAD lmao. in this finale, seb is the beast, east still had to deal w the fact that they’re underfunded compared to north but no one is injured, lily is less of a poorly written character and maybe ppl are even rooting for her, and wow i just realized i never actually said what role i think nini should have in north’s show. OOH she could be student director instead of lily cause lily both being in the play while also directing was weird considering omg i just checked and according to her wiki page shes a FRESHMAN?? and they let her be student director? lol hell nah. okay so with all that in mind ,,, the menkies should have been the season cliffhanger instead of portwell. east and north should both be nominated, both schools perform at the menkies, and then the award winner is about to be announced and THATS when it cuts to natalie and the end of the season.

one, this actually gives more tension for a summer s3 as we would be waiting to see the consequences of whichever school won. also i bet people would be wondering if nini’s gonna be transferring back to east or staying at north. people would also prob wonder if ej would be getting the scholarship if east won and what that would mean for his interest in film.

lmao that got longggg and idk if anyone’s even gonna read this but it was fun to do :D

[shijas]

HELLOOOOO ITAFUSHIKUGI IS SO CUTE. BYE IM SCREAMING,, omg share some of ur hcs ? 🥺

WOOOW YAY!! they defo toe the line between a full on relationship and qpr for me and i adore them!! some hcs:

these kids spend like 60% of their downtime napping!! megumi usually ends up in the middle because i live by thermodynamic sink megumi! nobara sleeps like a gremlin, in that she probably rolls around a lot and can end up kicking people (shameless projection i’m a horrible person to sleep next to), whereas yuji sleeps like the dead unless he’s super tired in which he will probably murmur under his breath. megumi thinks he has no sleeping habits but he definitely snores and/or wheezes at some part of his sleep cycle

i think its funny that they all had crushes on each other but didn’t realise it at all, like megumi and nobara both initially think i’m not gonna crush on yuji, it’s yuji for goodness sake and then nobara knocks on megumi’s door at midnight like you have to save me i have a crush on yuji and megumi is like oh my god you toooo????????? anyway this is all fine and stuff until nobara finds herself with a crush on megumi and she’s like wtf the tokyo air has ruined me and then by wild guess she realises yuji has a crush on megumi so now she’s playing double agent while she has a crush on BOTH of them and probably runs crying to maki like senpai,,,, put me out of my misery, meanwhile maki literally heard megumi and yuji dying over the fact they both called nobara cute out loud when she did something moderately evil to gojo in class. eventually they all figure it out and it’s a fun polypile

yuji does most of the cooking because he’s the most competent cook, if it’s a complaictsd enough dish that megumi helps, nobara gets stuck with dishwasher and dishes duty much to her chargin.... megumi usually helps her with that too tho so it’s never too bad! the only thing that yuji doesn’t usually cook is tea. nobara is the tea expert, saori taught nobara all the tips and tricks to the perfect cup of anything and especially after cold or rainy missions, her blends are super well appreciated. to round out the kitchen chores, megumi is in charge of the shopping list because he’ll actually take note of things that are running out before they run out and draft a list as time passes, while preparing coupons/checking for discounts,,, and because he probably had the best taste in snacks...

yuji definitely hits his hinted at growth spurt and just towers over everyone (gojo is so put out, where did his tiny cute student go ㅜㅜ) and his strength just seems to increase expontially. nobara and megumi weigh NOTHING to him, he abuses his new tall powers constantly, like he wasn’t already abusing them before. hugs already guaranteed that you’d be a few cms off the ground and now nobara literally shrieks at how high she’s lifted. megumi 100% doesn’t know how to behave around him too like one day he was using those 2cms to his advantage and tilting yuji’s head up slightly and now he’s literally walking into yuji’s chest in the mornings it’s surreal. yuji 1000% relishes in the beneath the lashes looks the other two send him but he goes horribly pink so it’s a double edged sword

yuji takes them to visit his grandfathers grave eventually but like there’s 1000% no angst, idk if any of yall have read csm but think of it like denji and power with aki just a bit more respectful. nobara is absolutely loosing it about going out to the countryside again even tho sendai is a pretty sizeable city; megumi feels kinda bad about the whole circumstances surrounding grandpa itadori’s death and so tries his best to be comforting and supportive only to bicker with nobara insistently by accident. yuji doesn’t mind tho, he didn’t want it to be a sombre event or anything and is pretty upbeat about, he probably makes a joke about how his grandpa didn’t expect him to gain bout a girlfriend AND boyfriend and how he was living double the high school experience. nobara and megumi probbaly promise to take care of yuji when in reality 80% time yuji is taking care of them and because they’re absurdly terrible at it

nobara and yuji definitely bond over self care stuff like face masks, nails, expensive bath stuff. megumi is rather impartial to it until they show him the wonders of self care tm. honestly he still wouldn’t go out of his way to do all the stuff they do without them but he can definitely appreciate how good nobara and yuji look in those animal print sheetmasks or the smell of yuji’s grapefruit conditioner and nobara’s rose water toner or whatever idk i’m bad at self care tooo sjsjsjjdjr

escape bunny shenanigans,,,,, megumi tries so hard to make the distinction that his shinigami are not pets and nobara and yuji do not listen they’ll be like megumi,,, bunny,,, and suddenly the room is full of bunnies who are just waiting for good pets and grapes or whatever fruit they’ve bought in surplus to feed the bunnies. the remaining divine dog definitely lives on the end of whoever’s bed they’re sleeping in that week, if gojo asks they’ll be like megumi is training his stamina and how much time he can keep his shingami around when in reality nobara has bought dog costumes and toys and yuji has like 9 different gourmet dog food recipes open on his phone

i think living together, even before swinging their relationships, comes with a certain number of boundaries they just kinda fall away and so eating off each other’s plates, drinking from the same bottle etc etc comes about pretty fast like megumi doesn’t like peppers cool nobara and yuji will happily eat them off his plate; oh there’s only one ramune left cool let’s split the bottle three ways you know what i’m saying? nobara is probably the first one to hit the clothing and skinship boundaries because she gives zero fucks like she’s walking around in her towel cuz she left her sheet mask in the fridge to get chilly and soothing and whatever and yuji sees her while doing dinner prep and she’s like what you never see a titty before? and he laughs so hard they just kinda forget about it. it’s super hot in summer and megumi is literally dying in just his shorts by the open door and nobara sees his stomach and is like is this a weather appropriate place to lay? and proceeds to belly flop ontology of him anyway. yuji and megumi deinftely have one of those hey, stop screaming it’s me moments in the shower. the boundaries blur and disappear and anything that needs to en addressed is and that’s that...

clearly... i have gotten carried away but yeah,,, them 🥰

[astrobei]

what are your favorite tv shows?

ANON OMFG u do not even know the floodgates u just unleashed w this ask (im assuming st is a given) so settle back grab some popcorn and get Ready for some Rambling 💃 in no particular order (bc they’re all so good and i can’t choose):

THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE!! omfg i could talk for hours and hours and hours abt this show (and i have) but EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS SO !! the storyline is so well thought out, like from the very first episode everything is set up Perfectly. and i looove a good character-driven show, and the way this show is split up w episodes for each character and how everything comes together in the end,, oh my god. like EVERYTHING ABT IT and iconic episodes 6 and 7 right after one another BROKE ME i swear i would give anything to go back and watch it for the first time again. i love how it’s a subversion on a typical haunted house story and the reveal at the end literally rewired my brain in a way that NOTHING ELSE EVER HAS !! in my top 3 shows of all time probably bc the perfect mixture of horror and drama and mystery and emotional catharsis is unmatched, the storytelling and cinematography and that One Rly Good Jumpscare (iykyk) anyways . before i give any spoilers for ppl who haven’t watched it please do urself the biggest favor of ur life and GO WATCH IT RN

new girl is and always will be my #1 comfort show. like there’s nothing even more i have to say, but i can’t recall a single bad episode in this entire show. i have it on in the background for EVERYTHING like doing dishes, cleaning my room, cooking, getting ready. it’s so fucking funny and honestly so so so iconic, zooey deschanel was BORN to play this role. like it’s cast so perfectly, the humor is spot on and has the best timing, the characters r so chefs kiss and AHHH idk idk what else to say it’s just so unmatched in this category for me i just (YELLS)

ATTACK ON TITAN !! OMG this is definitely also in my top 3 shows! i remember watching the first season back in 2015 when it came out and i think it got continued (the show not the manga) a couple years ago so i got back into it, but i didn’t finish the whole thing until last winter and WOW. let me just tell u i think this is one of the most incredible shows of all time, EVER. the way that the entire entire entire story was planned out from the very first episode (also i haven’t read the manga so just know i’m talking abt things in terms of the show!) is so astounding bc it took so many years and has like 4 seasons so just knowing the creator was that thorough from the beginning is SOOOO !!! like i rewatched it over the summer and there’s stuff in the FIRST EPISODE that correlates to stuff in the last season, which was made like a full 7 years later?? and it’s just so cool watching the storyline of the show come together, different characters and their roles changing (jean solos everyone fr), some of the best redemption arcs/if not The best vs. the best villain arc i’ve Ever seen, how there’s so many plot twists but none are tacky! and the worldbuilding is INSANE!! like ik this is probably the most basic of animes to be into bc i haven’t rly gotten into many others but it’s popular for good reason and deserves every bit of its hype fr . like there’s this 2/3 episode arc in season 3 that is just . like actually unparalleled by any other show for me (except for maybe ep6/7 of hill house hehe) ANYWAYS if u haven’t watched it . do it now NOWWWWWWWWWW NOW!!

those r all the shows that immediately came to mind and i already blabbed abt them Way Too Much so i will stop there! but if anyone does have more anime recs i’ve been meaning to watch some more so pls drop them!

[lusciouslii]

actually yknow what forget that, my kink blog ill post whatever little thoughts i want. even if im just yelling into the void at least i get to yell!

longer rant incoming bc im tired and want this out of my system!!

-

so i met this guy on feabie and immediately it was super exciting because we go to the same college!!

hes also super fucking hot which was its own weird thing bc ive really never experienced like physical sexual attraction so that was weird. but yeah dude looks good and he has a nice voice so thats already not helping me

we’ve met up a couple times now, once to sorta test the waters, once just to cuddle in my room???? which looking back it was at that point i was straight up fucked because as someone who had recently gotten out of a bad relationship in which all my needs and emotions had been completely neglected, having that kind of sweet and affectionate intimacy?? all while my chubby body is being praised and adored??? never once had that in my LIFE.

the other few times has been pretty lowkey too. we did do a feeding session once but i got sick and it was the most humiliating thing. but he was so nice and caring and we continued to talk afterwards so i just try not to think about it anymore lol

we didnt talk much over the summer since i had to go back home across the country, but he reached out a few times and i was like damn ok im still of interest to him

this semester started great because i planted the seed (aka posted a pic showing i was back over here) knowing he would probably see it and if he’d say anything, and he fucking did he reached out and was excited i was back and wanted to meet up soon. schedules were a little rough but eventually we did!

i felt extra happy because it was sort if spur of the moment decision and he was moving back an online hangout he’d been planning with friends for a couple weeks. so i was like omg he really wants to see me even if only for a little bit thats so nice

and now that we have several months ahead of us we started talking about doing more of a feeder/feedee setup and things like that and im, obviously, super into the idea, and he seemed super into it too!! the dirty things he said to me that night!!!! not fair!!!!!!!

i sent pics later that night bc we talked about it and he said he’d “return the favor” lol but the. like. i sent them and he didn’t say anything until i posted a pic to feabie 🙃 and he was like oh sorry i completely missed your text! which like alright, and he asked me how i was doing and blah blah brief smalltalk

i asked if he wanted to meet up again soon and he said “Yea I’d be down, I gotta see what’s going on tho / need to play it by ear”

now heres where i get all introspective because to me, i dont see why we couldnt just schedule something in the future. unless, that is, hes trying to keep his schedule open for other stuff. i can get that to a certain degree, and i have to like. really ponder on it because i dont want to be some clingy needy girl who is fawning after a guy im not even dating, but its like….idk it makes me feel kinda sad? that im not enough of a priority to want to pick a set day to do something? so idk how to feel about that exactly

anyways i tried asking again some days later and he wasnt free, no surprise, usually when we do something its sorta this impulsive last minute thing, which again like. sorta plays into that whole im not really a priority unless idk youre horny or something

but its weird cause it seems like he does care and does want more than just horny shenanigans? we havent had sex yet and have only even had one actual feeding session. soooo worlds most patient fuckboy if thats the case but i just really dont get those vibes

but also im gullible and see the best in people i care about and thats how i got fucked over in my last relationship

im just feeling pretty sad about the whole thing right now because we talked about doing all these things and i really want that but hes so uncommunicative and im afraid of being obsessive. again, might be on me too because im going in thinking maybe theres a chance to do more

but then again even if there isnt thats FINE i just want to do SOMETHING lmao

so now im just left wanting and thinking about him a lot and oh yeah need i remind WE GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL WHY CANT WE JUST MEET UP CASUALLY ONE AFTERNOON 😭

idk but im afraid of maybe ruining the best relationship ive formed in this kink after figuring out what i wanted from it. god even now im just like “youre thinking too hard about this it doesnt matter that much, youre supposed to be flexible and chill and just go with the flow cause its just a little side thing” but welp. my brain is noisy and i dont have a good outlet. another problem of not having friends in this kink but im not good at responding to people which online is the only way to talk to people and now im just rambling

anyways ending this here and hoping he’ll reach out eventually cause boy does the heart yearn 🥲🥲🥲

[swimfuel]

after idk how many months im still heavily brainrotting over your "scott summers is a knight of doom" and your comparison of him w/ dave. hussie ran and tripped and fell so marvel could walk.

do you have any more classpect hcs for any other marvel characters? o5, champions, etcetc? your analysis are genuinely good

anon trust that you are not alone in this because every once in a while i remember that scott summers is a TEXTBOOK knight of doom and i immediately need to sit down

however i’m sorry to say that i don’t necessarily have any other hcs as solid as #that because scott was my #1 meow meow for months on end BUT i do have some thoughts that ill put under the cut!! disclaimer that it’s been a little while since i’ve read anything and i’m not nearly an authority on any of these characters

emma frost:

the easiest immediate grab for me is slayyyqueener emma frost as some kind of mind player (beyond the shallow association of psychic = mind)

emma interacts with the world through LAYERS upon LAYERS of fronts!!!! i think it’s really telling that, when i think about her powers, i don’t immediately think about the whole mind-reading/mind-control/whatever/etc — i think about her incredibly frequent use of psychic suggestion/projection to create illusions and fronts !!!

three outstanding but contrasting examples of this:

house of m #6 where she uses layers psychic commands to hide herself and her compatriots (a tactical use) — this was the very first example of her powers that came to mind, but she’s used very similar strategies innumerable times throughout the comics; her manipulation of others’ perceptions and expectations is a key part of her “fight style”, if that makes sense? she’s as powerful a psychic as anyone else, but she’s the only psychic i’ve seen with such emphasis on this style of psychic suggestion

some other comic (i’m thinking it’s either from late utopia era or some time in krakoa era, or maybe something else entirely but it was very lighthearted) where she’s going out on the town dressed in pjs or something with her hair and makeup undone etc etc etc but she uses psychic suggestion to make everyone around her think that they’re seeing her in full glam (personal use)

aaaand the elephant in the room…. inhumans v xmen and death of X with the whole illusion scott thing. i cant comment on this one because UMM.. as a cyclopswasrightist LOLLL I DIDN’T READ IT…. but from general osmosis i know that it generally revolved around emma using her abilities as 1. a crutch for her grief and 2. a way to keep the mutant cause alight through martyring scott and 3. a way for him to not be remembered as an m-pox victim. god can we just give it up with the inhumans i promise nobody gaf

so with that down pat… heres the hard part ? i struggle a lot with class assignment so i’m just going to run through some ideas:

thief of mind:

i think it could work! she has some of the showiness of the thief but it’s tempered by the calculations of a cerebral mind player

the thing with thieves is that their aspect-related selfishness is typically not selfishness for selfishness’ sake? … thieves do things that align with their own (typically… unique) moral code and what they see as the Right Thing To Do, with very little regard for the standards of others. that is VERY EMMA even as she goes through her reformation-era (see: wh*don’s run)

and the thief of mind classpect madlib (one who steals mind/through mind) works pretty well both considering her modus operandi and her skillset! actually wow this is really well-suited to her i actually can’t think of another class for her? so i guess it’s decided? emma frost is the THIEF OF MIND 🙏

jean gray:

okay so i haven’t read a TON of the older comics and a lot of krakoa era stuff makes me wanna vomit so i am not nearly as well versed in jean’s stuff as i am with emma but i did read some of the newer stuff with young jean

but before i begin can we please just laugh at this panel together. why does this artist look like they trace from optometrist ads

anyways she definitely suffers from the witchmaid subjugation bullshit, i think? where the maid follows a somewhat typical path of “subjugation —> realization —> agency” the witch is more continually limited by the narrative except when it demands for their particular talents and explosive power/influence over their aspect… the realized witch ultimately suffers for the advancement of the narrative

i thinkkkk… i think i’m gonna go with witch! considering the passion that defines jean and the scale of the power she wields (and is often too dead or cockblocked by the narrative to Actually Wield) as well as how she literally just cannot catch a break (it’s a bit strange to me how the mage is seen as Thee Suffering Aspect when the witch is right there but i digress)

god okay shooting into the dark here but maybe heart for her aspect? again, going past the shallow association of psychic/empathy powers = heartmind, she has the witchtrait of being surrounded by her aspect all her life — ie. identity issues and empathy

i think it’s fucking insane how neatly the dave/sollux/scott comparison lines up with the jade/aradia/jean comparison. holy fucking shit. i don’t know how intentional it was but jesus christ in heaven

god sorry i am just so sleepy i’ll come back with more thoughts later but here are some last shots in the dark

hank = a mage (for very similar reasons why edward elric is a mage: got their ass beat in the pursuit of knowledge/ways to solve their Big Problem)

kamala = a maid (?????) (if for no other reason than she reminds me So Much of my friend who is also a maid and more that i don’t feel like explaining)

amadeus = a page (light?) [pagebluster and overcompensation —> genuine development]

rogue = indya moore (not a classpect just a very very good fancast and this list feels incomplete)

[awhst-alt]

I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL

it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3

so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)

mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)

so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.

so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.

and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.

AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY

so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike

so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that

mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it

so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"

then stella says "i like your painting."

will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"

"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"

"sure"

and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"

so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"

i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS

el says "how's will?"

mike says "idk he didn't call"

"he didn't?"

"no, he didn't"

"okay. well maybe he will call later"

"yeah mb"

"wanna come over"

"ok"

so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit

so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"

and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)

but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)

and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"

"we can by something for will"

"okay yay"

so then they go to starcourt yasss!!

anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"

and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"

"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"

she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN

and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"

she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"

so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch

"hi will"

"hi"

"hru"

"im good"

"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi

but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.

okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD

so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol

so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable

okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"

and she says "what?"

"i'm seeing someone!"

"oh i uh- i didn't know."

the whole cafeteria is staring at them

so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"

"he?"

will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no

"you're gay?"

"i-"

and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him

so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy

so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.

and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA

mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"

so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything

(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)

"i hated it."

"the school?"

"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"

"what?"

"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"

"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles

"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"

"WHAT"

"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"

and mike LAUGHSS

"what? mike? what's wrong?"

"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"

"oh. good. are you mad at me?"

"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"

and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"

so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"

so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"

"you? cursing?"

"yes."

"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"

will just smiles and says "i love you"

and mike says "i love you too"

AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED

ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH

edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol

[ruruness]

idk what this is but

genre: smut, slight fluff in the end

pairings: felix × reader

warnings: size kink, swearing, degradation, choking kink, airplane sex (🤡)

authors note: not good in writing i srsly dont know what i wrote here but hope y'all like it. and if there are typos or misspellings i am so sorry for that

you and your whole group of friends decided to go on a vacation, take your mind off things since one of your bestfriends just got into a breakup with their girlfriend.

at y/n's home

you sighed but chuckled afterwards knowing that you would be going to the bahamas just to relax for a day, packing up all your clothes, skin care and everything else in your bags. you went to the bathroom to look at yourself, wearing a tube top with some short ripped shorts just for the summer whether. admiring yourself in the mirror you decided to take pics of yourself flexing your outfit on instagram. but that wasn't really the reason why you posted it on Instagram. you and your friends decided to suprise each other with your outfits by posting it on Instagram and flexing it to yourselves, but the real reason why you posted so early? you wanted to get your boy bestfriend's attention, alex. you've known alex since you were a kid, you both would spend time together, watch the movies, play games, and even when you both were young you took a bath together. y/n and alex were neighbors too.

enough of looking at yourself in the mirror you decides to bring your bags and head out of your apartment and inside the taxi you called which will bring you to the airport. once you arrived getting all your stuff you went in, taking all the check outs (not sure what its called, i can't remember) before heading to terminal three where you saw your group of friends. "guys y/n is here!!!" shouted one friend and immediately she comes running up to you, pulling you into a tight hug. "i missed you too" you chuckled pulling away from the hug and walked to your friends where you all catched up, talking about each others outfits. but despite that you were focused on alex's outfit. a not fully buttoned polo, jeans, his hair fixed to the side.. he looked dreamy for you. he noticed your gaze holding back a laugh "y/n you're drooling" he said and everyone else started to tease you both "I'm not drooling!" you replied giving him a death glare "don't think too high about yourself loverboy, you aren't as handsome as you think" you added and he just rolled his eyes at what you said.

PA: passengers for flight GA 762 to Bahamas, please go to gate 26.

"oh that's us! let's go" you said and you all took your bags and started to walk to gate 26, ofcourse you all were still chatting and talking about what it'd be like in the trip. once you all arrived you gave your tickets to the lady before proceeding to board the plane. while you were waiting in line you noticed a group of boys ("boys" as in stray kids).

your mouth dropped when you say felix and his whole group of friends saw you too. they waved at you waved back but with felix you marched towards him and pointed a finger at him. "why the fuck are you here?" you asked glaring at him "excuse me" he says walking closer to you but his charms never works on you and you stood your ground. "we're going on a trip, now don't say I'm stalking you because please I never planned for us to meet" he told you and you just sighed and left him there with his ego, you went back to your bags and continued to wait.

there's quite history between y/n and felix. not ex's but y/n in their photographer and everyone knew that you and felix will always butt heads when it comes to pictures. him wanting to do it again but you saying no because it looks perfect, your fight with him would go for hours. hell, you even thought he liked you because of that. why? because everytime alex would come and fetch you he would stare at you both, clenching his jaw, digging his fingers onto his palm.

at this point you knew what to do while he was looking. you decided to talk to alex, get all touchy with him, dragging your finger down his exposed chest letting out soft giggles. felix hated that. he wished it was him. they way alex looked at your especially with your outfit made him even more jealous of the situation making you victorious.. for now.

"y/n and alex stop flirting!" they said and you laughed "i don't flirt with him." you responded holding your bags again as you got on the plane and headed to your seats. you and your friends were separated seats and some weren't, but you all were near. you got a window seat and once you arrived you saw felix on the first seat. great. he was your seatmate. you rolled your eyes letting out a sigh as you placed your bags on top, your tube top was exposing your tummy which felix was lowkey looking at, looking at all your curves making him bite his cheek from inside. once you were done you walked over him "excuse me" you said trying to work your way through since it was tight because of the reclined chairs. he stared at your ass wanting to spank it and when you looked back you saw him looking so you decided to tease him and lower your ass more. hearing him sigh you moved your butt in small circles letting out a chuckle before sitting down.

"i knew it. you like me dont you?" you asked looking at him with a smirk "what?! no. don't get ahead of yourself y/n" he replies and you chuckled "the way you looked at my ass says otherwise" you mumbled as you get cozy in your seat. seeing the seatbelt button lit up you wore the seatbelt and braised for impact as the plane started to move. you held onto the seats as the plane ascended, heavily breathing and felix just laughed at you so you kicked him with your foot. "it's okay baby, i got you" he whispers to your ear making a shiver run down your spine because he knew when he called you baby he has that impact with you, he knew calling you baby made you weak. you brushed the feeling off when the plane was steady now and finally letting out a sigh of relief when it was over.

hours later you fell asleep and felix just watched you sleep, your cute face made him soft and he just smiled but when he saw alex coming up he became serious. "hey, i just gotta talk to y/n, something important" alex says and started to shake your body waking you up but felix stopped him "let her sleep, that can wait." he said loudly scaring alex as he his voice got deeper but you woke up "stop felix, im awake. lets talk alex" you said sleepily. you got up and followed alex to the outside of the bathroom in which felix looks at your both. "y/n i know were bestfriends but.." he pauses looking at you and boom, he kisses you on the lips. his hand went to your butt and grabbed it squeezing it tightly. taking you and felix by suprise felix was mad but before he could do anything to stop you pushed alex away. "stop i like you but kissing and touching me without my consent? just to tell me you like me? no, I'm sorry alex. but just no." you said and walked back to your seat, ignoring felix you covered yourself with the blanket of the airline and started to cry. felix was mad standing up to walk to alex he punched his stomach hard and gave him a death glare before he ran to the flight attendant and ask for a first class seat and she said there was 2 available, he used his fame and they gladly gave it to him. he took your bags and gave it to the flight attendant for her to place and he shook your body. "c'mon let's got out of here" he said making you confused with snot still on your nose he took your hand and pulled you off your seat "hey!" you shouted as you both walked to the first class seats. you were amazed by it and can i just say it was full privacy, you both were on the same row so he lead you to yours, explaining it to you before he left you there and went to his.

it was like paradise you felt extremely happy about it, watching a movie asking for champagne and room service but.. something was missing. you had a fancy seat, you watched movies, champagne, everything but you felt that something was missing. you opened your door to knock on felix's door which he gladly opened it to see you. he smiled at you "hey y/n. how are you?" he asks "im fine don't worry, can i join you?" you asked and he fixed his chair for you to sit beside him. now these seats were only for one but since it was a big spot he sat on the floor in front of you and closed the door so no one would hear hour conversation with him.

the two of us decided to talk, keep up on what's happening in which boosted your mood, learning more stuff about him. we even started to lowkey flirt and get touchy over ourselves, his hand giving my thigh a gentle rub of comfort which made me red but nothing that serious.. yet.

End

OKAY THAT'S ALL BECAUSE I'M LAZY TO CONTINUE IT. PART 2 HAS THE SMUT SO JUST WAIT I GUESS. i hope y'all liked it and enjoyed reading it. I'll do a part 2 next week or next few days. and for the airplane seat just search in yt cheap first class seat y'all might find what i mean. thanks for reading <3

[myjjbaby]

okay so the idea is reader taking one (or many) of jj's shirts without asking him, and every time he sees her with one of his shirts on he's like 🥺🥺 and finally she says she likes his smell and wears them because of that and idk some fluff (sorry if this is bad it was just an idea i had)

white t-shirt

author’s note - this kinda deviated from the original request but it just happened because your girl is angsty. happy first time writing in a month to me!! (apologies in advance im rusty). thank you to lisa @angellissy for being my hype woman as much as im yours because this wouldn't happen without you so. couple folks who i love who asked to be tagged so: @baby-bearie @dpaccione (taglist? yes or no? someone want to teach me how?) please also know that even as my dash returns to normal and im writing this doesnt mean ive stopped or anyone else should stop advocating for black lives matter so please do all you can loves :))

synopsis - requested by @strkydrw! JJ isnt used to public affection and it creates a wedge between the two of you. which JJ isnt about to let happen.

warnings - mentions of anxiety, smidge of angst, and a swear cause i felt like it. 1.7k of comfort!boyfriend!JJ

JJ Maybank was not one for public displays of affection. He was so used to going it alone that he couldn’t fathom someone wanting to love him for the whole world to see. You were okay with it, really you were, it was just something that made the blonde who he was.

Through your time together he became more lenient. A short peck in front of the Pogues or rough fingertips brushing the skin of your waist when your shirt rose up at a kegger. He loved you and that’s all you could ask for.

But to say you weren’t needy for his affection would be a complete lie. Curling into his side at the Kook’s walk-in movie, being able to love on your perfect boy for the whole world to see, but little hand touches were enough for you if it meant JJ was yours.

You had a bad day. A crap day. Everything that could’ve gone wrong, did and now you want your boyfriend. You needed JJ’s arms to wrap you up and push all your worries away. Unfortunately, that wasn’t going to happen.

You were at a party at the Boneyard, like most summer nights on Outer Banks, and your personal security blanket was far too busy by the keg to take notice of you. Pope was sitting next to you on a piece of driftwood. The sweet boy had a knack for reading you and the Pogues like an open book. He could spot your glowering from just about anywhere.

“Pope, I’m fine.”

“Yeah and I’ll leave you alone when I believe you.”

“Pope,” he glared at you, “okay, okay.”

The two of you settled into a calm silence. Pope sipped at his plastic water bottle, which Kie had already ratted him for, and you fiddled with your fingers, relaxing at JJ’s smile in the distance. A frown slipped over your features just as quickly as your sweet smile had appeared.

“Y/N?”

Turning your head to the dark skinned boy, you appreciated his concerned smile but honestly you’d rather bask in your misery alone if you couldn’t have your blue-eyed boy.

“I’m gonna walk home,” Pope’s eyes followed your movement as you stood, “tell JJ for me?”

Now he knew something was off, though you and your boyfriend were never outwardly affectionate, Pope knew of the silent love you shared. The fact you didn’t want to tell JJ you were leaving nor grasped the opportunity to squeeze the blonde’s hand was unsettling.

He watched you slip away, staying out of the firelight so JJ had no chance of catching your departure. He waited until you disappeared over the dune and started your short walk back home before practically bounding across the beach and gripping JJ’s bicep.

“Woah Pope, quite the grip there.”

“Y/N went home.”

“What?”

“Y/N left.”

The blonde quickly scanned the sandy beach, eyebrows furrowing when he didn’t find your familiar figure. He glanced back at Pope.

“Do you know why?”

“She seemed upset.”

“What? Why didn’t sh-”

“I don’t know, but that’s not the point,” he flicked the side of JJ’s head, “the point is that your girlfriend needs you so bust a move.”

Pope barely got the last words out before the blue-eyed boy practically sprinted through the crowd.

You were a mess by the time you reached your familiar grey house with tears streaming down your cheekbones as the screen door slammed behind you. You pushed your way through the house, feeling your legs ready to give out under your weight.

You slipped out of your clothes and goosebumps rose across your skin, the summer breeze chilled against your tanned skin. Pushing your jackets and sundresses aside in your closet, you reached for the worn white t-shirt tucked behind the rest of your clothes. The stained Pelican Marina shirt was one of your prized possessions. JJ had asked you about the article of clothing before saying how he lost it and wondered if you had seen it.

You denied everything.

The t-shirt always calmed you, the smells of the salt air and JJ’s weed, it made you feel like you were curled up in his hold. With just his shirt on, you slid under your blankets and pulled the knitted fabric to your chin. You tried to ignore the wetness of your skin and the pinch in your chest that even JJ’s aroma couldn’t solve.

You were so distracted by your waves of emotions you nearly missed the soft revving of the motorbike in your driveway. Your heart clamped when you heard the soft murmurs between your boyfriend and your dad as they undoubtedly worried about your off demeanor.

“Y/N?”

Your breathing felt erratic as you quickly closed your eyes, praying you wouldn’t have to admit anything to JJ. You waited for him to leave after a soft sigh slipped through the crack beneath your door, but instead you heard the familiar creak of wood against rusted hinges.

You silently thanked your past self for laying down with your back to the wall because you knew you’d crack under JJ’s crystal gaze. Willing your lungs to settle, you felt his familiar warm touch settle over the fabric of his shirt you were wearing. The soft movement of his fingers kneading into your back nearly caused a whimper after longing for the boy’s touch for so long.

“Baby? I know you're awake.”

Mentally cursing your boyfriend, you rolled over to your side as JJ pressed his body closer to yours, practically laying on the bed now.

“Hi.”

“Hi sweet girl.”

He sweetly pressed his lips to the tip of your nose, smiling against the skin when he felt your cheek against his hand warm up. The blonde tried to pull back to admire your flushed features but you hid your face in his neck. You smiled when your actions emitted a chuckle from the boy which filled up the silence in your room.

This was what you wanted more than anything. Your perfect, loving JJ holding you close and kissing you tenderly, but not like this. You wanted to feel adored outside of the safety of closed doors and four walls, but that wouldn’t happen. You pouted at your ruined daydream.

“Hey, hey,” JJ felt your frown against his tanned skin, “baby, you have to tell me what’s going on.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Y/N…”

“Really, it’s nothing, J, can we just forget it?”

“No.”

“J-”

“Tell me.”

You stayed silent, breathing in his presence, the pinch in your chest finally releasing.

“Baby, please?”

“Are you embarrassed by me?”

“What?”

He pulled away from your touch as he frantically searched for some kind of explanation in your eyes.

“Sweet girl? Why would you ever think that?”

“You’re embarrassed to be seen with me.”

“That’s not true.”

“You have to force yourself to kiss me in front of your friends and you won’t talk to me, much less touch me in public. It’s like I’m dating different people, JJ. The boy I fell in love with and some guy who’d never give me the time of day.”

“Bab-”

“No,” you sat up, letting his once comforting arm slip off your body, “I had the worst day and everything was too much and I just needed you. I need you, JJ. But I didn’t even want to tell you because I was scared you were going to brush me off. I don’t want to have to think twice before going to you, I shouldn’t have to but I jus-”

You were cut off by a harsh sob that was building up in your throat throughout the day. The weight of everything pulling you down for too long. Your cries, however, were quickly muddled as JJ pulled you into his warm, taut chest. His pillowy lips pushed against your skin, shushing you in comfort.

“I’m so sorry, Baby, I’m not embarrassed by you. For fuck’s sake, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m sorry. I’m just not used to it, I guess. You love so proudly and the fact that I have you is overwhelming. I’ve never done this before, loving someone. I wish you had told me, sweet girl, I love you so much, angel. So much and if you need me to hold you or kiss you or whatever, just tell me, okay?”

You nodded against the soft fabric of his navy shirt, your sobs giving out to breathy whimpers. It was peaceful like that, the room completely dark except for the moon and stars shining through your curtains and your boy holding you tight as you laid on his chest. You leaned back to stare at his serene facial features and watched as he fiddled with the hem of your clothing.

“Baby?”

You hummed, settling back into the crook of his neck.

“Is this my shirt?”

“Umm, maybe?”

He felt your skin heat up against his and smirked, trying to catch your eye in the dim light.

“Why’d you take it?”

“I don’t know, I just wanted you with me when I couldn’t have you.”

“Don’t be embarrassed, sweet girl, I like you in my clothes. And you can always have me, okay?”

You hummed again, drowsiness forcing your lids closed. JJ shivered as your eyelashes fluttered over the smooth skin of his neck.

“What do you think of wearing this to tomorrow’s boat day with everyone?”

He mumbled into the night, smiling at the idea of you laying out with his shirt announcing you were his, but his suggestion went unanswered because your were already fast asleep in the comfort of the blue-eyed boy’s arms.

[bittybattybunny]

HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT I FINISHED

well mostly

that’s a temp crown and I have a single seam left BUT IT’S DONE REALLY OTHER THAN THAT

So now I’m prince ;3c (i also realized i could have grabbed my fake bouquet from my room for more fun---) also I’m wearing a face mask cuz I really didn’t want to put makeup on to fuck around in my basement when I do a proper photo shoot with Snuppet or something I will but deal with the mask (which btw is from @/timetravelinghk !!! It’s one of my favs to wear besides my levisnatch i wear at work)

I’m like super pleased with how this came out; It’s like patterned fully from scratch *stares at the failed attempts* yeah. it’s been a journey.

I’m gonna ramble a bit about the things I dealt with with this costume so read more I’m long winded

For context I started drafting patterns and such for Prince back when I made Snuppet. The idea has always been to cosplay as Prince and HK when I puppet him. However I wound up getting called back to my day job like right after I finished Snups so I never had a chance to continue because hooooo boi this summer was nuts. People wtf we broke records in sales for my work despite pandemic but i’ve ranted before--

There was also the matter of my boots and my wig. See the wig I’m wearing is the SECOND wig i bought for prince. the first one arrived all like... weird. i can’t get it to be fixed so I’ll use it for a monster costume and cover it with blood (its got like weird glue residue. like how some monster high dolls’ hair gets?)

This one is really nice uvu it’s my first arda wig i ordered; I do have the same in a dark purple because I will be making a ‘shadow prince’ version of this outfit in black and purple

and then the boots.

hoo boi

those boots

*inhale*

So let me say, I have decent sized feet. I wear between a womens 10 and 11 and that makes finding shoes a lil hard.

More so when I need very fucking specific shoes.

Yes i could do boot covers but it wasn’t going to be the same.

so I spent over a month looking and finally found those ones. they cost me a little bit (like they by far are the most expensive shoes I’ve ever bought. I hate spending money on shoes even for cosplay)

So they said they’d arrive soonish. I even paid express shipping.

Guys i ordered them in April. I got them late AUGUST. the site was a nightmare i could never get info it was permanently stuck in ‘packaging order for shipment’ and the help desk sucked and I was so busy with work I couldn’t call my bank and then just one day

they were just in a bag shoved in my mail box. i opened them right before a shift so they sat in my car all day

then i ordered gold cord on amazon

LACING THESE THINGS IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE

the first time I wore them took me no lie about half hour to get them laced proper and on. My sister was waiting and had to come up like “...you okay?”

once laced tho i can easily put them on and off in like 5 minutes

now the costume itself has been. interesting. so you can’t see but the actual way i put this on is there’s a zipper and velcro! I’ve mentioned before I have CFS and chronic pain issues so I try to make my cosplays easy in easy out if i can. so this actually just. zips up and then the flap with buttons velcros down. it keeps the whole thing a lot smoother across my chest. (also i wear a binder for this cosplay. I bought my first one for this. if you cant tell i kinda went all out for this cosplay because I resonate with this fucker on a personal level and he’s brought me peace of mind this last year. I haven’t done a male cosplay in years and it’s kinda nice to do it again.)

Those sleeves

hhhhhh

those sleeves

trying to figure out the proper way to make those puff sleeves was. yeah. and even then they aren’t perfect but they work for me. When I redo this for shadow prince I may make them a little.. poofier? i have the idea how to do it now.

I also like had to alter my pattern after i made it to fit better. I have narrow sloping shoulders so things slip off them easily, my original pattern had very BROAD shoulders whoops.

the collar was also fun. i have to keep like stabbing myself with pins to get it to stand right.

I think the cravat was the easiest thing. it’s actually not tied or anything. its sewn together and then there’s velcro so i just wrap it around my neck and secure. As i said. i prefer easy on easy off.

the pants were. fun. I’ve always had issues making pants. the first set well... I made farrrr too thin. the legs were fine but i couldn't get the waist bit over my thighs or rear TTvTT

I’ve been playing with that pattern for the past week. I actually made them too WIDE today which is a much easier fix. tbh could take them in more but I do want the poof a bit. I do need to not wear LEGGINGS under them next time. like.

this costume is warm. I’m going to be a roast prince when con’s are a thing again. between how warm the tunic and binder are, and carrying/puppeting snuppet if you see me please know if I glare it’s most likely I’m dying. Gods it’s warm. I overheat so easily. (another reason I make it easy on and off)

So yeah! that’s my tirade on my prince cosplay! if you actual read down to this point mwah!

get a laugh out of the fact as I was coming back up stairs i scared my cat. he always freaks out when I’m in cosplay.

Also admire i took these photos blind. I didn’t want to put contacts in so i was playing with my new remote (i got a phone based tripod and it has a bluetooth remote to take photos it’s fucking great ngl)

alright I’m gonna go---

idk watch youtube tbh Im just happy i finished this!!!!

also please ignore the fucking litterbox i swore i moved it out of frame akjkldsffg