#idk hopefully someone gets it
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the vibe i bring to the function
#is this mix too niche?#idk hopefully someone gets it#loustat#iwtv#interview with the vampire#hannigram#hannibal#carmilla#carmilla and laura#rhaenicent#hotd
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Your highness… I don’t feel so good
#I was literally getting the same feeling I got watching Jimmy’s empires 2 when I was watching scars stream from 2 days ago…#and then doc said THAT. full body chills. thanks#hermitcraft#hermitcraft s10#docm77#docm77 skyblock#hermitcraft skyblock#idk how to tag that man#art escapades#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#empires smp#empires s2#sheriff jimmy#tumble town#uhhhh idk what else to tag hopefully that covers it#idk… something about scar and Cleo and Joe all teasing him relentless despite the fact that he was obviously Actually upset#(‘I’m sure it’s actually fine but just. the vibes of someone who’s sick of getting messed with getting relentlessly messed with. yknow)#it makes me feel vaguely sick#again I’m sure they’re fine but idk man he sounded so mad#so naturally. whatever this is happened in my brain#I’m normal I just needed to get this out of my system <3#there’s some really interesting parallels happening here that I can’t quite put into worse#words*#so I put it into images instead… hopefully you’re getting my brain waves
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i also think that cas as a character fundamentally feels like he doesn't Belong and that's something they did accidentally but can be interpreted as an allegory for multiple different experiences that all resonate with people. Misha has talked about how he wasn't intending him to be Not Like Other Angels, all the angels were supposed to be like that, they just. didn't end up doing that. And because it wasn't intentional at first I think the angel/human cas debate/endgame/storylines resonate differently to different people who relate to it in different ways. Outside of the debate of what should/would most likely happen in canon I've seen a cas actively choosing to be a man be important to people for gender reasons. I've also seen a human!cas who chooses to be human be important as an allegory for leaving a toxic family and choosing your own found family. And I also see angel!cas be important to people as an allegory for neurodivergency and the idea that he should be accepted as an angel the way he is, that there's nothing "wrong" with him as he is. he's such a beautiful complex character and i think people connect with lots of different aspects of him and idk i think it's really cool. i love castiel
#like im never gonna tell someone they're wrong for their cas headcanons and ultimately i think all of these things are correct#we all just love him soooo much and he contains multitudes#i've been trying to articulate this for a long time and idk if i phrased it right but hopefully you get the idea#this is an non-exhaustive list! i dont think there's a wrong way to relate to cas
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Posts Kai Ninjago and scurries away back into the shadows (also posted on @explodesanddieseverywhere )
Alternative backgrounds under the cut
#I posted this on my alt as well#So dont get upset if you see this on someone elses blog too#Kai bbg i havent drawn you in so long im sorry#hopefully some of you remember me lol#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago fanart#ninjago kai#kai ninjago#kai smith#kai jiang#do we still use those tags for his name#idk its been a while#anyways im gonna be posting here again#missed it
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Dunmeshi is full to the brim with people making choices that impact other people and I actually think it is better that the care put into the choice is not always equal to the effect it has. What doesn't matter much to one person means the world to another, both in good and in bad ways.
It's hard to understand other people. It's hard to account for all the ways we impact them. But understanding that we do impact them, that we are a part of the world and cannot remove ourselves from its cycles, is a core part of the story. So it's not bad that the characters sometimes don't do things for good reasons they just Do Them. It's the whole point.
#idk hopefully this makes sense#I just think that it's easy to want to jump to thinking 'this person did something that helped someone they must care about them'#or 'this person did something that hurt someone they must hate them'#but it's messier than that...#whatever I should get off the internet for a while I'm stressing out too much about feeling like I'm being contrary today
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Started watching a new anime and the first episode has me so bewildered basically it's meant to be a cinderella story evil step mom wicked half sister that crack only one of the things they have to show how horrible cinderella girls life is by having the boy who she has feelings for become engaged to the half sister and she is so smug about the whole thing despite this being objectively the worst possible husband choice for her since he's also so in love with cinderella like sweetheart your gonna spend the rest of your life with a man who is more in love with your wet blanket of a sister and honesty he's not even that pretty I get you hate cinderella but she's moving away you've gotta start thinking about your future
#im now in my procrastination phase since i dont want my watch threw of one piece to end#so watching other random anime#i think im gonna drop this one tho#cinderella girl is not my cup of tea#like im only 3/4 of the way through episode 1#but shes still just so weak#this is not the pathetic i like in my MCs#girl i need you to get a personality#and maybe a backbone idk hopefully thats her arc in this show#i hope so#i hope theres a episode where she comes home and half sister is like yeah i made a mistake#turns out marrying someone out of spite#not the best foundation for a relationship
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Someone totaled my car today and I do not like being in insurance limbo
#i did all the stuff i was supposed to but im gonna call my insurance again tonorrow just to double check#i had a green light and someone left turned into me like super late#like idk how they thought they could make that turn#but my airbags all went off and my hood was a mess so i think my car is fully toast#siiiigh#:(#i dont want to have to buy a new car......#i just moved out too so dealing with this + rent + living expenses is not ideal#i wish ppl knew how to fucking drive and i still had my car.#im trying to be zen and cool about this and just go well getting mad wont solve the problem but like#if people paid attention while they were driving then i wouldnt be out a car having to use a sick day tomorrow#and i wouldnt have to probably spend more than what i get from insurance on whatever my new car will cost#and i wouldnt be having to deal with insurance and getting rides places and hopefully getting a rental car#so maybe i can be a little mad for a while and get upset for myself for once#i just roll over and accept everything all the time and while intentional apathy has gotten me this far#maybe i shouldnt cling to it forever
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Lrb dear god, this reminded me of that time when Alfred-chan got sooooo mad at my post explaining why fans should respect bisexual headcanons for Maria and Malenia instead of pretending like they're canonically lesbians and that they get oppressed and erased by mxf ships with them. They kept vagueing that post for like a MONTH in their blog including in tags under reblogs of Maria fanart, passively-aggressively changed their url to character+sexuality to "spite" me and then even made a sockpuppet account to start shit with me in the comments.
They deactivated when me and Val completely obliterated their "you cultivate lesbiphobic following by telling people why they should respect all sexuality headcanons instead of acting cultish or assuming their experiences and stereotypes equal canon confirmation" garbage with actual facts and logic tho but I screenshotted everything fjthfgfj (I learned to document everything the hard way after they've changed the she/they pronouns to they/they pronouns ONLY to accuse me of misgendering, so thank you for making me wiser I guess 😎). Even more vile, as they, a white person, larped as an Arab in that sockpuppet to hold even MORE "privilege" against me in discussion gjtjfh Because for them race, gender or sexuality are just badges of honor and dishonor, they don't see these as traits of actual human beings. And Dr Eugene X, who worked with them and weaponized her race to accuse everyone who disagreed with her of racism, didn't bat an eye at such a terrible act too?? As usual, rules are not for their friends, lol
It is not even the worst thing Alfred did, and yet all of this just, just, JUST because I wrote a point on why bisexual headcanon people did nothing wrong and there is no ground to claim something is canon when it isn't. 🤦♂️ Like, they were soooo convinced that I hated lesbian headcanons and that I'd feel angry if they called Lady Maria a lesbian, when what I was angry at is this exact toxic behavior in the fandom. No matter how much you like a headcanon, don't be a bitch about it. Maria doesn't """belong""" to any gender or sexuality, she belongs to anyone who likes her and is invested in her complexity as a character!!!
Yet, apparently, common Malenia simps / Finlay shippers are no better than common Maria simps / Mariadeline shippers. Just, wild how after shit like this, many people have the guts to claim that it is "sexist redditbros" who are the biggest problem of creators in the fandom. 🤦♂️ They'd actually blush if they encountered what such self-proclaimed "feminists" do to their own (!!!) over headcanons. 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
#also fuck anna for thinking shit like this and way worse things alfred did is not as evil and toxic as#as me snapping at her for DEFENDING alfred#wiki: I can excuse stalking harassment cultish shunning bullying fantomette lying slander weaponizing identity but-#-I draw the line at katy getting too emotional when I admit as much uwu#granted she did admit that the reason for this is because alfred didnt concern her personally#she is probably the person I'll forgive last in this situation if ever#as much as I hate alfred they clearly have no empathy and compassion and lie for medical reasons#it isn't my assumptions they often reblogged this shit#I know mental illness is not an excuse for so much harassment for variety of reasons but-#-why would someone want to change if they medically can't feel guilt for their actions?#I feel bad for them and they hopefully will get help#as for Eugene idk... they seem to be a typical brainwashed youth#such people either change with age or get strongly bitten in the ass and get reality check#granted people who still follow her did admit she goes head hunting and then plays victim#as well as they only keep in touch because they worry they'll be dragged down if they are not at her good side#rather than because they like her posts (which are so untrue to BB that she can just make OCs anyways)#choir boy is literally just mindless sheep that didnt even have dignity to make it personal#hence is the name#I am sure he is lovely in his own circle it just doesn't concern me or my friend#but anna?#she knew what she was doing and has no excuse#fandomry rambles#it is also funny how they are four cringe failures and us are four based people#best AND worst groups come in four lol#also I know you all are dying to know how I can still hold grudges year later right?#it is hard to explain#I live normally and recover and not think of it but then scar starts to hurt#like you know how physical scars can react to weather or shit? mental can too
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Me patiently waiting for a way to make comics about the shitty things that happened in 2020-2023 but unsure of how to go about it in a way that will make me feel better smh
#like-#ugh#it all seems rrally stupid and blown out of proportion when i think about it too long#and then when i DO talk about it with other people who were there#theyre like ' yeah that was shitty' but what if my perspective is skewing their idea#idk#I also worry that my memories are new skewed by other people's perspectives#its like a whole thing#and its not like im upset by these things in a way that is actively hurting me#but i am retroactively realizing it was kinda bad????#idk maybe if i make comics about it someone will be like ' yeah that IS really shitty' but#i still dont know if that will be a warped version of what happened#the point is shit happened and i cant make art about it cause what if it really wasnt that bad#i think im just mad cause that person is currently having a great fucking time#and not feeling any regrets about anything#and overall just not facing the consequences of their actions#against me or the people that they hurt way worse than me#like theyre just gonna get away with being a shitty fucking person#anyway#this is not directed at anyone here btw this person ( hopefully ) can't see this#also damn i kmow for a fact that not being able to trust my memories and perspective is partially because of all this#smfh#its really not that serious but unfortunately it did effect me haha
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A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..
#sculpture#fantasy art#fantasy creature#art#elf#lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas..#I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal#stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing#over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less.#negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you#do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things#up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put#them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY#I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin#of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol..#Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned#eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL#but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah#Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik#25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li#like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c
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Actually I have decided we were robbed of Rhysand using his mindfuck powers to force someone to eat themselves, in this essay I will-
#will i have time to write about amarantha making rhysand make someone eat themselves for sjm villain week? idk#but hopefully#rhysand#rhysand acotar#acotar#acotar headcanons#this entire book series could have gone from boring vanilla fae smut to fun horrifying body gore in one scene but NOOOOO#listen i get why this isnt a thing#but it be way more interesting that rhysand making azriel torture people for no reason
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this week was actually probably the scariest seizure experience i've had so far i think. mostly because it happened outside late at night and i was out there an hour before anyone noticed. and it's like shit things already were pretty bad but how bad would have it gone if i had been out there for even longer. and it is just a lot. to have to think about "okay so this could happen at any time at any moment. if you are alone what are you going to do" and have to try to start planning. cause like. there are so many situations where i am alone bc i like. i have to go to work. i'm going to go grocery shopping. i just go out in public alone like. and it just isn't feasible for someone to constantly be with me. idk. i don't really know what to do but i'm trying to figure out anything i can do to make it safer so that i don't end up lying outside in the snow for over an hour again.
#personal#chronic illness tag#it's just scary. i don't know what to do to make this Safer except for like. going everywhere with someone else#which i can't do.#so it's like well what do i do then#well. i have a PCP appointment to get a referral to the mobility and seating clinic to hopefully get measured for a custom wheelchair#so at least if i could help lessen the impact of one of my seizure triggers (pots) that would be helpful. idk idk
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what are they doing to his leg💔💔
#weezer#rivers cuomo#omg okayokayokay#soooo idk about you all but i am in the usa ; specifically california#and yk how trump is now the president ?#ya girl might get deported to mexico ! 😛#mainly because he wants to repeal the law that states anyone born on american soil is a citizen ; and their parents must be legal in order#for their child to be legal ; my grandma (who was an illegal immigrant when she had my aunt and uncle) would then be deported to mexico#ALONGSIDE my aunt and uncle ; but she was a legal resident )not citizen) when she had my mom; so we don’t know if that is okay or not#but if it means my mom is illegal despite that fact; me and my siblings are also illegal and we would most likely be deported#it’s really scary#the election results were scary when i saw them ; i don’t like to be political but it’s just insane to me how people can lack empathy like#that in exchange for economic benefit :( it makes me so sad to think about ; i really wish Harris had won because i wouldn’t have this like#thought about how different my life might become and how it will become for so many other immigrants :(#hopefully everything will turn out fine ; it’s just crazy to think about#SOERH FOR THE RANT I JS NEWDED TO TELL LIEK. SOMEONE
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grounding technique cards
#my posts#stim#sensory#stimmy#stimblr#stim gifs#now for the really hard tagging#page flipping#grounding techniques#recovery#neurodivergent#???? idk what kinda stim tags are there for this#the problem with giffing niche or whatever stuff like this is it’s so hard to tag#hopefully someone gets some use out of this though
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it's unfortunate that twitter is the most convenient place to find TL news and latest pictures because wow the fandom over there is really a cesspool. I so need them to learn it's not actually funny to make fun of the cast for losing and then TAG the creators in said petty comments all over SHIPS. if you hate the show so deeply to be cheering in joy over its award show demise and echoing the commentary of the people who have always thought ted lasso was trash, just because you think it's appropriate ~revenge~ for a bad season like uhhh. maybe it's time to take a step back and leave the fandom because you clearly aren't enjoying yourself. and then the audacity to get on there every day demanding a season 4?? like what about the way they tweet at them do they think is enticing these creators to want to make more?
#ted lasso#listen i don't care about jason but to actually analyze his reactions when it panned to him just to take pleasure in his disappointment#is soooooooo weird and unkind#and far removed from a normal criticism of the show#especially coming from someone calling themselves a FAN of the show ??? like get a grip#i'm sure we all know which part of the fandom this is but let just say. why is it always the straight ships?#god and it's deeply annoying that every time brett and juno do something (which brings me joy) it's tainted by people being annoying about#lack of a rk endgame#like NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT DAMN ENDGAMES can't we just be happy we get to see them again#like at a certain point your ship didn't happen GET OVER IT idk sorry if that's bitter lol#.#okay i'm logging off for the day hopefully that all was too much for me lmao
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the 14 year old edgelord in me keeps trying to compose deep poetry about coming to after dissociating. calm down babes. we’re all good here.
#blue chatter#just. the experience of blinking into existence becoming associated with ice in my mouth#and how it’s becoming a pattern that the first visual thing I process is a hand in front of my face#At least that I remember. I’m sure other stuff happens but my memory is unsurprisingly v blurry after#I feel bad for making my roommate take care of me so often#but I super cannot control when I dissociate#and I do genuinely need the help#bc today I was home alone and it took a loooooot longer to break out of the blurry stage#I somehow didn’t think to get ice about it until I was in the middle of the grocery store an hour after the episode had ended#I want to be more independent about this so people don’t have to take care of me all the time#it is relieving to know that I can live with friends after grad school#so *someone* can be around usually if something goes wrong and I’m not cognizant enough to help myself#but I don’t wanna make them feel like they have to help me or put that on them#or like. freak out their kids. their kids are not raised remotely like I was and they’re rly young so they don’t rly understand this.#how do you explain trauma to a three year old whose parents are incredibly good at gentle parenting#idk. I’ll figure it out. hopefully with time and therapy I’ll be able to process my trauma enough that I won’t be like this forever.#I don’t wanna be like this forever.#I want to go to grad school and start practicing in clinical psychology and help people#and be independent and be able to support my friends instead of the other way around
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