#idk he said it way better but I'm with him

[mixedcontents]

As Katniss says I know this would have happened anyway. Her biggest hangups were that she didn't even want to admit to herself the possibility of loving Peeta bc she didn't want children, specifically bc she didn't want to deal with them growing up like she and the rest of the districts did and especially the hunger games the possibility of them being reaped and I think that for a long time she couldn't admit to herself that she loved Peeta bc she'd want to be with them and if they were together they might have kids and all that but like the trauma is so there that even for a long time after the fall of the Capitol and the hunger games it takes a while for Peeta to convince her it's safe to have children (I think he knew she wanted kids but was afraid I don't think the pushed them on her) but even after she has them the fears are still there from the trauma tho she's able with peetas help to push them away and focus on what's real now and she loves her kids i think that without her and peeta going into the hunger games eventually they would have gotten together (I'm not sure if they would have had kids though) but I think going through the hunger games and everyone forcing Peeta on her and wanting her to share those kinds of things with the whole world made her push her feelings for him down even harder (though to the reader I think it's clear she loves him the whole time and just grows into feeling safe enough to express that) but also going through it together did bond them undeniably they had similar experiences that only others who went through it could grasp fully and in helping take down the hunger games and Capitol and preventing new ones and creating a safer world for people and especially children also despite their trauma allowed Katniss to not only feel safe enough to have children and be with Peeta in my opinion the Peeta thing was always gonna happen with or without the games with or without children I just think it would have taken longer possibly bc her main focus was to take care of her sister (and mom) and i think she would have kept pushing those feelings down as long as she could like peeta could do better peeta could be with someone willing to have kids blah blah but peeta and katniss have been I love since they were young and I think like Katniss says them being together was inevitable (in a good way) Katniss and Gale I think weren't gonna be together they were hunting buddies they had similar experiences and whatnot and vowed to care for each others families should anything happen to the other and Gale often fantasized about him and Katniss leaving living in the woods exploring ect not bc he was in love with her even but be he wanted out of his life the responsibilities of taking care of his family the inevitably of working in the mines living under the Capitol I don't think he would have left his family had katniss said yes and they took their families with them even I think it was just an escapism type fantasy and while I think he cared for Katniss honestly he never struck me as actually in love with her like it was more practical to me than that even with peeta and gales conversation about being with her and letting her choose and all that idk it felt like to me the kind of thing where they would date for a bit and be like oh OK this definitely isn't it what were we thinking and go back to being hunting partners like Katniss says it was more about proximity than any feelings for one another and they were even really friends but that's just my opinion I do think Gale felt like they were friends and liked her but I just felt like it was only bc she was available and outside the laws like he was so he could talk to her about things he couldn't to anyone else I just felt like with time Gale would have also realized he wasn't in love with Katniss anymore than she was with him

Excuse the typos and rambling I have a horrible migraine

Broke: "Katniss was only with Peeta because of their shared trauma from the Games and the events that followed. After what they went through together, there was no one who truly understood her like Peeta. But if Prim and Peeta had never been reaped, Katniss would have ended up with Gale/stayed single."

Woke: "The Games and the events that followed brought Katniss and Peeta together, but there was something special between them since the day with the bread. Katniss had a subconscious interest in him since they were 11, and after the reaping she couldn't help but fall for him due to their close proximity. The Games weren't her reason for choosing Peeta, but they were a catalyst for their relationship."

Bespoke: "The Games did more to hinder Katniss and Peeta's relationship than to help it. In fact, without the Games to complicate things, Katniss would have fallen for Peeta fast and hard. The Games and the events that followed were responsible for countless barriers to their love including (but not limited to):

1. Instilling in Katniss a distrust of Peeta that did not come naturally to her

2. Forcing her to act in love, regardless of the authenticity of her feelings, in order to survive

3. Broadcasting every moment they shared, no matter how intimate/private, onto every screen in every house in the country

4. Driving them apart due to the pain and confusion that followed the inevitable end of her "star-crossed lovers" act

5. Making their relationship a political tool of manipulation and oppression

6. Leading Snow to hold Katniss personally responsible for defusing the civil unrest within the Districts by means of their love story

7. Forcing them under threat of death to act in love for the rest of their lives, thereby taking away their agency and ability to choose each other out of real love or desire

8. Robbing them of a future together, even if they wanted it, by returning Katniss to the Games and ensuring the death of at least one of them

9. Traumatizing them in ways they'll have to deal with for the remainder of their lives

10. So many other things

The Hunger Games is NOT the story of how Katniss fell in love with Peeta due to or even during the Games. It's the story of how Katniss fell in love with Peeta IN SPITE OF THEM."

[buddierealm]

ʚ MISTAKES NEVER LAST — e. diaz x reader

Part 1 - Part 2 Summary: You go on a coffee date. Nothing can go wrong, right? Wordcount: 3.6k Warnings: pseudocheating?? (bc of shannon), mentions of nsfw content, mentions of alcohol, straight up loser4loser A/N: idk just be prepared to watch ppl who have no idea what they’re doing date

You mutually decide on a coffee date. By mutually, you mean he suggested a full blown dinner and 50 back-and-forth texts later, you’d talked him out of it. So, on your Sunday morning off you find yourself getting ready to meet at a local coffee shop nearby. You had been the one to decide where you'd go, him being new and all, and you chose somewhere less than 10 minutes away from both of your places.

You dress casually, and take a minimal amount of time getting ready. This is supposed to be a casual date, after all. You arrive a little earlier, too, taking the time to look over the menu. As he walks through the coffee shop doors, though, you realize he might've put a little extra effort into his outfit. They’re just jeans and a button up, but he looks a bit more done up than how he is at work. It makes sense though, you suppose. Everyone looks a little better when they aren't being threatened by the imminent idea of an emergency situation emerging at any moment.

His eyes light up when they meet yours, because of course they do. Like they could have any more sparkle. You get up and smile at him, he returns the gesture and makes his way over to hug you.

You have a moment when it happens. A flashback, of sorts, to a few weeks ago, when he had those very same arms wrapped around you, with completely different intentions. The memory is less than productive at keeping you cool and calm in his presence, though, so you try your best to shunt it out of your brain. When you pull away a few seconds later, it's thankfully long gone.

His smile hasn't left his face, "Hey. Did I keep you waiting? I'm sorry, amor."

You shake your head in protest, "No, you're all good. I was a little early, actually."

You both sit across from one another at a corner table. You exchange pleasantries and make small talk. The topic of his kid comes up and you're undeniably curious to find out more about him.

"This is him," Eddie says, pulling a picture of him and his son up. He looks unbelievably proud to be showing him off, and it makes your chest flutter, for some reason.

You've never been one for kids, finding them a little overstimulating to be around, but this one's pretty damn cute.

"He's adorable. Are you taking care of him all by yourself?" you ask, an underlying question's being asked too. Where's his mom? Is she still in the picture?

"Uh, yeah. For now. Buck's been trying to help me find someone. He has cerebral palsy, so it isn't exactly easy. But he's my whole heart. He has my full focus right now," he rambles. You find it cute.

He laughs awkwardly, as he realizes what he'd just said, "Not exactly the best thing to say on a first date, is it? I'm just trying to be as open as possible. I've heard it helps."

You nod, "Sure does. And no, I think it's the perfect thing to say. I admire it. Not everyone's so open about the things they prioritize, and it gets to be a problem later."

He frowns, as if he might be contemplating something. Then, he agrees with a mumble.

You cut the awkward silence by suggesting you order your drinks. You give him your order and he gets up to order both of your drinks at the counter. While he waits for them, his phone rings at the table. Once, twice, three times. You think about getting up and giving him the phone, but opt out of butting in, not wanting to seem nosy. The phone stops ringing, and he comes back to the table, drinks in hand.

You dive back into easy conversation, again. Around five minutes later, his phone rings again. He excuses himself, and responds. It's clear it isn't a good phone call. He avoids saying the words, but you can make out what's going on. He has to leave.

He hangs up and looks at you with a grimace, "I'm so-"

You shake your head immediately, "Nope. You're alright. I get it."

He gets up immediately, grabbing his paper coffee cup. He apologizes anyway, and kisses your cheek as he passes by.

He pauses, "I'll make it up to you. I promise, okay?"

"Okay," you respond quietly.

As he leaves and you stay, staring at your own paper cup, with his name sprawled onto it, you realize: this is why you didn't want a dinner date.

At home, you FaceTime Hen and confide in her about all of it. The one night stand, the incessant flirting (which she'd already picked up on, as had everyone in the firehouse), the coffee date, and the getting blown off.

"You should talk to him about it, he probably actually had an emergency."

"I know, but I don't want him to feel cornered into having to date me. He did say his priorities lie with his son, and I wouldn't want to intrude, y'know?" you explain, your phone set up on the counter, as you prepare dinner.

She gave you a look through the screen that said 'Really?' She wan't buying any of it.

"You know what? I'm so very wrong for calling you. You're the one who got me in this mess in the first place," you tell her.

"Okay, okay. How was I supposed to know you were gonna pick the worst possible candidate for a one night stand?"

You roll your eyes, stirring your pot of pasta, and turning down the heat.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," you respond.

Your phone pings a moment later, and you see Eddie's name pop up on your screen. Your face softens up immediately and you smile a little.

"Ohh, is it loverboy?"

"What?! No!" you lie, willing your face to contort into a frown, "It's my landlord. He needs his money. Bye, Hen. I'll see you tomorrow."

She laughs and hangs up the call. You sigh and open up the message.

Hey. You probably don't want anything to do with me right now. But I just wanted to let you know that I am planning on making it up to you. And I'm sorry.

You laugh at his text. He's being incredibly dramatic, but you like it. Being fawned over like this, it's nice. You text him back, reassuring him that it's really fine and you're hoping his emergency was taken care of.

By the time you're done eating dinner, you've already convinced yourself that he isn't going to respond and you stop checking your phone every 5 minutes. Instead, you do it every 10 minutes, up until you're brushing your teeth and you hear your phone ringing on the bathroom counter. It's Eddie. You quickly spit your toothpaste out and wait a few seconds to respond, so as not to seem desperate.

"Hi, hermosa. Did I wake you up?" he asks.

"No, you're fine. I was just getting ready for bed."

"Yeah?" you can hear his smile through the phone, "I had to explain why I left so suddenly, since you seemed so worried."

You roll your eyes, "yeah, just worried something happened to your cute kid. Don't have a big head about it."

"Christopher's fine. Just a family-related emergency, and it's alright now. No need to worry your pretty little head."

"Yeah, okay," you say, letting out a breath of relief you didn't even know you were holding.

"You sure you have to sleep now? Are you free for a bit?" he whispers.

"No, yeah," you answer quickly, "I mean, yes. I'm free. Our shift's not until 9, so."

"Yeah, maybe we can do this first date thing over the phone? It isn't the best, but I do want to get to know you. And it's a little difficult at home right now," you can hear his disappointment through the speaker, and it's endearing.

"I don't mind," you reassure him, "I mean, you're not doing it on purpose, so I get it."

You spend the night talking about everything. Your favorite music, your childhoods (not exactly any trauma, but some nostalgia), all the places you've travelled, his kid, your family, anything and everything you can think of. Time passes so quickly, you barely register being tired. Eventually, the sun comes up and you both realize you have to start getting ready. You end the call with your head swirling with random tidbits from your call, and a smile that won't go away.

Walking up the firehouse's stairs a few days later, you're stopped by a hand on your shoulder. You almost reprimand whoever's touched you without permission so thoroughly they never look in your direction again. Until you realize who it is.

By now, midnight calls and stolen moments at work have become your forte. You talk whenever you can, and whenever you talk, you flirt. You both tried helping Maddie move in, but ended up flirting and talking the whole time instead. It's easy and better than anything you've ever had, somehow. Relationships that have lasted years don't compare. You genuinely feel like you've known him forever, and you're not sure whether to be freaked out or comforted. It's completely taken you by surprise, but you can't find it in yourself to feel guilty being this happy.

"Hey, I got you, uh, this," Eddie says holding up a paper cup holder, which contains two drinks that look very similar to the ones you'd almost shared a few mornings back.

You grin at him, grabbing the one closer to you, assuming that one's yours. You're right, apparently, because he doesn't object.

"Thanks."

"Of course. Well, I'm told dating's supposed to start with casual invitations over a cup of coffee," he says.

Your eyes narrow jokingly, "Oh, is it?"

"So, would you like to go out to dinner with me tomorrow?" he looks off at Buck, and asks, "How's that? is that casual enough?"

Buckley nods nonchalantly from somewhere off to the side and it makes you smile. So he's been talking about you. And getting advice.

"So we're dating?" you ask.

"We're dating." he confirms, already walking up the stairs ahead of you, looking back, "Pick you up at 8?"

You pretend to think about it for a moment, "Hm. Yeah, okay."

You take a sip from the coffee cup, slowly realizing he remembered your coffee order. You could kiss him, and you probably will. Later. For now you follow him up the metal stairs to begin your shift, you can already tell it's going to be a long one.

You can't help but feel ashamed as you get ready for your date. You were supposed to be taking a break from dating! It's what brought on the whole one night stand idea in the first place. But they do say the best things in life are usually found when you aren't looking for them.

You smile to yourself in the mirror, as your 'getting ready' playlist plays in the background. You're not sure when you decided to allow yourself to feel this much for this guy, but you do anyway. You're just getting done doing your hair up, when your phone buzzes.

Hey. I'll be there in 20!

You respond quickly and get up to get dressed. After what feels more like 5 minutes than 20, your doorbell rings. You take one last glance in the mirror, before psyching yourself up in front of the door and opening it.

Eddie has a huge grin on his face, as you close the door behind you, and you look at him questionably in response.

"What?" you ask, with a curious smile.

"Nothing, just thinking about the last time I saw this door. Pretty lucky," he says with a smile, knocking on the wood twice for dramatic effect.

Right. The last time you were both pressed up against it, attempting to balance making out and unlock the door frantically. Eventually, you'd gotten inside, but you'd say it took around 10 minutes. God, you hope your neighbors didn't see that.

Your smile grows wider, but you try your best to look disappointed at him, "Yeah, yeah. You ending up back here is entirely dependent on how good of a time you show me."

You head to the car, hand in hand. He opens the door for you, like the gentleman he is. You wait until he climbs into the truck and grab the AUX to play songs for the drive. It's like you've gone on dates like this a million times before. There's no awkwardness, no tension.

Before he starts driving off, he looks in your direction. He's shamelessly taking you in, looking up and down. His smile's somehow brighter now.

"You look gorgeous, amor," he says, sounding like a kid in a candy store.

"Mhm, tell me something I don't know," you respond, and he laughs.

"Okay. You have me until tomorrow morning. Carla has volunteered her services tonight. Said I looked too repressed," he reveals, turning his key in the ignition and driving off.

"Oh, yeah. That's what I like to hear," you nod in approval and play a song you're pretty sure you'll both like.

The drive's about 20 minutes. The place he chose is gorgeous, and a lot more expensive than either of you can afford on a firefighter's salary. He walks in like he owns the place anyway, and as you're seated he doesn't exactly seem anxious to see the bill at the end.

You both order glasses of wine, which you try your best not to chug for courage. You find out how completely unnecessary that would be, though, as the night goes on. There's so much to talk about, despite seeing each other for 24 hours every other day at work, and talking on the phone in all of your free time. His hand holds yours on top of the table, as he tells you a story about Christopher and his abuela over the weekend. He invites you over for halloween next week, and the implications of it make your head dizzy.

"I want you to meet Christopher. He's very observant for a 7-year-old, and might've hinted at knowing something about...Y'know."

You nod, "Yeah. I don't mind. He seems like a very bright kid."

That sends Eddie off on a tangent about how smart Christopher is. You listen to every word. This kid is part of Eddie, his entire world. You have no problem getting to know him, love him, too. But it's making you feel a little trapped. It's been very clear, how serious this thing is getting. Meeting his kid is a different level of serious, though. You have an entire week to unpack all of that, at any rate, so you don't let it ruin the date.

After the wine and food, comes a martini for you and an old fashioned for him. The conversation's slowly devolving into loud jokes and light touches exchanged over the table. You can both feel a few pairs of eyes staring at you, judging how loud you're being.

You lean over the table and whisper, "Maybe we should leave. We're kind of embarrassing ourselves."

He laughs at you, "I think you mean you're embarrassing yourself. I find it cute."

Your eyebrows are raised. You grab the olive off of your martini, eating it and throwing the toothpick at him. You both fall into a fit of laughter, and decide that's your cue to ask for the check.

On the drive to your place, you play some music again and sit back. You eventually decide to take off your shoes and put your feet up on the dashboard.

"Oh, no. No," Eddie says, in a voice you're sure is reserved for reprimanding his son whenever he's done something wrong.

Your mouth falls open, "You can't be serious."

You look around his truck. It certainly isn't the cleanest car you've ever been in. Not even close. You look back to him with an expression that says, 'really?'

At the red light, he grabs your legs off of the dashboard, pulling them into his lap. He pats your thigh twice, still staring ahead at the road. You laugh at how theatrical he's being.

"You can keep those here," he tells you.

You shake your head, trying to shake off how dizzy he's making you feel. A few songs later, you end up at your doorstep. He gently puts down your legs, and climbs out of the car. He runs to the other side, opening the door up for you. You take a moment to put your shoes back on, and let him take your hand to help you out of the truck.

He walks you up to your front porch, still holding onto your hand. He plays with your fingers, looking a little nervous about what he's about to say. You look at him curiously. Ah. He's trying to figure out how to come inside.

"You can," you say.

He looks up from your intertwined fingers with a frown.

"Come inside. Stay the night," you clarify.

You hold onto his hand tighter, "But… We probably shouldn't have sex."

You regret it the moment the words leave of your mouth. Damn the logical part of your brain. God knows you want nothing more than to jump his bones right now. Recreate exactly what happened a while ago. He looks just as disappointed, if not more.

"Not that I don't want to. You have no idea how much I want to," you say, and it makes him smile.

You lean in and give him a kiss on the cheek before proceeding, "But I think we kind of jumped the gun with that whole thing. So maybe we should wait before doing it again. Plus, they say waiting makes infinitely better, not that you'd know anything about that."

His hand moves to rest on your neck, and he pulls you in for a kiss that leaves you breathless for a moment, "I think you'll find I'm very patient. It's you I'm worried about."

You shake your head. It's you you're worried about too, but you have to stand your ground now. You turn around to open up the door, fishing for your keys in your bag. His hands come to rest on your waist from behind.

"Me? Nope, I'll be just fine," you finally find your keys and open up the door, walking inside.

You take your shoes off at the door and instruct him to do the same. Then, you're pulling his hand and dragging him towards the couch. You both sit there for a moment in quiet contemplation.

You're absolutely not just fine.

You pull him in for another kiss. It's messy, and a little desperate this time. Your hands are in his hair, pulling and trying to bring his face closer, somehow. His hands are on your lower back, itching to go a little further down.

You lay down on the couch, pulling him on top of you. Wow, this is very familiar. His hand dips lower, grabbing a handful of your ass, and massaging it between his thumb and the rest of his fingers.

You make a noise of protest in the back of your throat, and he pulls away immediately. You take a moment to reorient yourself.

"It's just kissing," you reason, and he nods quickly.

His lips meet yours again, and you sigh in delight.

It happens so suddenly, and a moment later, he's kissing down your jaw to your neck. You'd almost forgotten how good of a kisser he is. A specific peck on the side of your throat makes you keen. The sound of it makes him groan, and it’s absolutely heavenly.

Thank you, God. Nope. Thank you, Carla.

You let yourself indulge for a few minutes, and then you pull him back up by his hair. He makes a sound that makes this all much harder for you. You’re trying your hardest not to lose your sanity, and him looking so fucked out isn’t helping in the slightest. You run your fingers through his hair, the gel that kept it in place now long gone, and give him a quick kiss on the lips.

"We're stopping. Because I'm not sure I have any more self control," you confess.

He nods and makes to sit up, pulling you with him.

"Yeah, I told you," he teases.

He grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers. You smile at that, and you can't even bother pretending to be mad at his teasing.

He kisses the back of your hand, "I know you aren't supposed to say this stuff so early, but I think you're very easy to fall in love with. And I am."

Your eyes widen at that. You look for any doubt in his eyes. There is none. He's being completely genuine. It scares you a little, but his eyes are very comforting.

"Wow."

His thumb strokes the back of your hand, "You don't have to say anything back."

You nod, trying to convey how fondly you feel for him with your eyes. He pulls you into his chest, laying back onto the couch. He rests your intertwined hands where his heart's supposed to be.

In this position, you talk for hours. He tells you about his parents, his time in the army, his insecurities. You tell him about how hard you worked to get your job at the 118, how badly you wanted it. You confide in him about past relationships and misery. You hold his hand a little tighter when he gets too choked up to talk, and he does the same for you. Eventually, the conversation dies down and you enjoy each other's company in silence.

You don't mind what he said earlier, and that scares you even more. The fact that you had to restrain yourself from saying the same back definitely isn't helping either.

You time every one of your exhales and inhales to match the rise and fall of his chest. As you fall asleep, you can feel him kiss your hair. It's a miracle you're so tired, because you might've told him you're in love with him too in that moment. Instead, you fall asleep right there, the words dying on your lips.

A/N: Honestly, this timeline logic is kinda slipping away from me, but this is supposed to be canon compliant (to an extent) so it should make more sense as we go on! Also, I have no energy to beta any of this so have it as it is, flaws n all!

[honeyshiddendesire]

Did Ya Miss Me?

Warnings: spit roast, dirty talk, reunited fwbs, praise kink, creampies, drinking, foursomes, hand jobs, oral sex (male)

Summary: After the battle at Wano was a success you decide to celebrate with the gang but old habits die hard when you catch Law, Kid & Luffy's eyes on you after the drinks keep flowing.

Pairings: Eustass Kidd, Law, Luffy x female reader

Words: 4,900

*banner* *masterlist* *request* @none-of-ur-business-fuck-off

*I don't know if it's any good but man Luffy is just so hard to write lol 😭 idk if I did this request any justice 😭*

When you caught them staring you couldn't help but tease them as you walked over to where they were sitting. "You all keep staring...did you miss me?" You're obviously teasing but Luffy only grins as he nods. "Yeah let's go have sex! Law and Kid wanna come too." He'll beam and your eyes widen at his boldness but it was Luffy after all. Law's eyes nearly roll out as he barks out his panic. "Dammit Straw Hat we told you to ask her first!"

Luffy rolls his eyes as he stands, shrugging off his coat, "Don't worry about it I know she'll say yes. We've known each other since we were kids there's nothing she could surprise me with." Kid scuffs as he chugs the rest of his beer, " Yeah well what about us telling you we fucked her before she joined your crew."  Luffy just laughs as he grabs a meat skewer from the table, completely not phased. "So what. Plus she told me when we were having sex one time. It was pretty fun trying to have her retell the story when she was too busy moaning."

You rolled your eyes at your friends honesty not an ounce of shame could be found between the two of you, you both were practically one in the same. The red head only scowled as he slammed down his empty mug standing tall over the rest of you. "Whatever jackass, since you know her so well let's go then."

The ever responsible doctor just flushed as he looked at you, "Are you sure?" You nod your head smiling at the way he sighs while standing. A squeal leaving you as Luffy tosses you over his shoulder. "I call last!" Luffy grins and Eustass laughs, "Why the hell would you want to go last?" Law is equally curious but decides to remain silent so Luffy can respond.

"Cause I'm gonna cum in her so much it'll wash yours out. Duhhh!" Luffy finishes by sticking his tongue out at the red head like what he said was common sense. His words and actions only made Kid scowl harder, “Dumbass.” Luffy just laughed louder as he slapped you on the ass, both men trailing behind with excitement bubbling up inside of them. You look up and wink at both men who just smirked at each other, what’s a better way to finish up a successful night like a foursome. 

Once inside Luffy tossed you down on the bed and sat up against the headboard smiling, “Okay have fun!” Luffy teased as he crossed his feet over each other. Both men wanted to move but it felt like a trap because when did the straw hat ever have patience? Never but you weren’t about to tell them that. Luffy just wanted to see what they would do first. Even though he wasn’t a patient man he would be for now, he was certain he wanted to go last. Just when it looked like both men wore you out Luffy would step in and finish you off, permanently- for the night. Just when Law and Kid think that they’ve fucked your brains out Luffy would be the one to bring you back down to earth, washing away any hint of their touch and seed on you as he takes over. 

Yeah you guys were just fuck buddies but you were also one of his closets friends and crew mate which meant he felt responsible to be the one to carry you home…metaphorically speaking of course. 

“Come on hurry up~” Luffy whined with a huff and you just laughed as you sat up on the bed to undress, tossing your shirt at him with a grin. “Awe what’s the matter Captain thought you had some patience?” Luffy laughed as he moved the shirt off his face to throw it on the floor, “Just a little~” 

“Fine. We’re gonna fuck her till she’s too exhausted to even deal with your dumbass.” Kid smirked as he shed off his clothes, your mouth watering as you watched his cock spring out from its confines. Thick and veiny, tip leaking precum that you wanted to taste, so you met him on his crawl down to the edge of the bed. Sticking your tongue out to swirl around the tip making him hiss loudly, Law shedding his clothes in the process to come up behind you. The doctor began kissing along your neck to your shoulders, trying to mark you up so you’d remember your interaction in the morning after. Luffy pouted and came over to kiss the other side of your neck, making Kid roll his eyes, “I thought you were gonna watch huh?” 

“Oh so what I’m still gonna go last, I just wanna kiss her a bit.” Luffy grinned as he nipped your ear, tongue licking against your skin. You ignored their bickering like usual and carried on sucking Kid into your mouth, Law’s amazing hands busying themselves by diving further south towards your slick folds. Luffy reaches around to grope your breasts making you groan from the mix of sensations, Law’s perfect fingers sliding their way into your wetness. “Already so wet for us hmm~” Law grinned and you just hummed around Kid’s cock making the man’s eyes roll back. 

“Oh fuck whatever you’re doing to her keep doing it.” Kid barked out feeling the way you sucked more of him in your mouth. You loved the attention that you were receiving, Law’s slender fingers curling inside of your cunt to the spot he remembered perfectly as Luffy’s calloused fingers squeezed your flesh. Kid pushed his fingers through your hair making you whine as he tilted your head a bit to get a better view of you sucking his cock. Kid licked his lips as you opened your eyes to look up at him, you knew Kidd was a sucker for eye contact, his cheeks blushing every single time. 

“I love your boobs.” Luffy mumbled as he kissed along your neck, nipping slightly at the vein there making you moan, it was muffled though as Kidd’s large cock went deeper down your throat. You loved the weight of him in your mouth, your hand going up to encircle around the base. Stroking his cock as your other hand cupped his balls, “Fuck- you always suck my cock so good.” Kid’s praise was practically a mumble as he threw his head back momentarily to contain himself before looking back down at you. 

“You look like a slut with all of us fawning over you.” Kid grumbled and despite his tone the man was trying to hold onto his resolve but you just looked so good like this. Pussy being fingered by the surgeon of death while the newly appointed Joy Boy was groping your tits and kissing your neck. Law scowled at the red head with venom in his gaze, “Don’t be so crass.” Law said and Kidd just rolled his eyes in annoyance but it quickly turned to pleasure when you applied more pressure to his cock. “Oh fuck~” Kid’s moan made you mentally smile, happy to get him to shut up. 

You wouldn’t say you were an expert or anything but you did have a gift for giving head, breathing through your nose as you sucked him in deeper. Your skilled tongue swirling all around his cock, as you pulled him out of your mouth to lick from base to tip. Teasing the tall giant of a man by giving a mock hum, “Yummy~” You taunt and the red head only tugs at your hair, “Yeah yeah~ less teasing more sucking.” Kid pouts, his ears flushing along with his cheeks. Law curled his fingers just right in your cunt to make you gasp causing the doctor to smirk, “I think you’re showing favoritism dear, how about I change that yeah?” His words ghosted over your ear as he fucked your pussy harder with those slender fingers of his, three now filled your wetness as you knelt on the bed. 

Your posture was starting to waver and you had no choice but to reach forward and claw onto Kid’s thighs, Luffy maneuvering underneath you to suck on your breasts. Luffy’s fingers playing with your other nipple causing you to whine which Kid used as an opportunity to shove his cock back into your warm mouth. “Damn you look good like this.” Kid’s voice only grew raspier as your nails dug into his meaty thighs, Law’s free hand coming to squeeze at your soft hips. “Cum on my fingers. I wanna feel how wet you get before I reward you with my cock.” 

“Hell no I’m gonna fuck her first!” Kid tries to argue but when you swallow around his cock it turns to a sharp hiss. Law smirking as he feels your cunt twitch on his fingers that pumped inside of you. “No, the one who does the stretching gets to go first. Then it’ll be your lame ass and after that, Luffy.” Law corrects and Kid doesn’t have the energy to argue as you bob your head faster on his cock. Honestly the man doesn’t know if there will even be a chance for him to fuck you with how good you’re sucking his cock right now, the thought makes him huff and fuck your throat harder. Oh well if he cums before fucking your pussy at least he’ll enjoy the head he’s receiving. 

“MMM~ NNGH!” Your moans broken as Kid started roughly using your throat, Law fingering you faster to match the movements of Kid. “Won’t you be good for me and cum.” Luffy’s fingers and mouth making your body heat up along with the others, all the attention was becoming too much as you felt that familiar knot in your stomach. “That’s it, I can feel you getting wetter. Just let go and give it to us.” Hearing Law use the word us brought you back to the fact this was really happening between all four of you. You felt naughty but so so sexy. 

Your body trembled, fingers digging into Kid as you cum around Law’s fingers, Luffy holding your waist up so you don’t collapse on him. The man always liked to keep his mouth busy and feasted on your breasts until your nipples felt raw from his harsh sucking. Kid pulled you off his cock to look at Law and tell him to put you on his back, which the doctor did but not because he said so, he tried telling himself. 

Luffy moved out of the way but still remained at your side busying himself with your tits as Law positioned himself between your spread open legs. Before Law could do anything though, one look at your pussy and Luffy’s mouth watered. “Hold on real quick.” Law couldn’t even protest before Luffy was literally pushing Law out of the way for a taste of your tongue. “Dammit Mugiwara-ya!” Law growled out but rolled his eyes hearing your lewd moan that followed after. 

Luffy threw your legs over his shoulders as he quickly dove in to lick inside your wet cunt. Luffy was sloppy when he ate you out, tongue swirling around in random patterns with loud slurps that made your chest tight with embarrassment. Law wanted to push the man out of the way but he couldn’t deny how hot you looked throwing your head back into the blankets, hands digging into the mans black strands. Back arching like a bow as Luffy stretched his tongue inside of you to literally swirl and poke your g-spot. “Holy shit! Fuck me! YES!” You cry out as Luffy stretches his hands up to squeeze at your tits roughly. 

“Fuck that’s hot.” Kid grumbles again seeing you lost, eyes rolling back with lust. BOth Law and Kid can’t help but stroke their cocks as they watch the wild man eating your pussy out like it was a life line. “Nggh! Luffy~!” Hearing you moan the straw hat’s name had the two men scowl though and they quickly went to work in joining in on the fun, their dicks could wait. Law literally slapped Luffy’s hands away to suck your nipple into his mouth as Kid tugged your hair to pull your mouth to his. His tongue dominating the kiss and swallowing up your moans into his mouth. 

“Tastes so good- mmm- so so good- mmm- and so wet.” Luffy groaned as his hands moved down to claw your thighs open, head swinging side to side before diving back in. Luffy ate like a starved man and your pussy was his last meal, “Fuck~ she’s so wet~” You couldn’t tell if he was talking to any of you in particular or just voicing it out into the air but either way it felt good. Every word spoken into your pussy, his breath tickling over your sloppy folds making you moan into Kid’s mouth. Your fingers wound tighter in Luffy’s hair making him groan louder in your cunt, the vibrations making you gasp. You were going to cum again you could feel it. The way that Luffy’s tongue was stretching into your cunt was too much to handle, slurping up your wetness before literally stretching back inside of you. It was intense and with the others working you in their hands you were done for. 

Kid pulled back just in time for you to cry out in a loud scream, “Luffy~!” His name rolled off your tongue like butter on toast. Your expression scrunched up as your body shook, both other men watching you cum undone on Luffy’s tongue. Joy Boy’s mouth sucking up the sweet cream that you gave him like a reward after the long battle he won. “MMM! That was a great snack! Thanks for the meal!” Luffy joked as he went and kissed you sloppily on the mouth with a giggle. 

“Alright now move out of the way, straw hat.” Kid scowled before going above you, his large hand stroking his cock by your face. You never sucked dick in this position before, head almost hanging off the bed as Law went in between your legs. Luffy moved back to your side so the other two men could have their way as he went back to kissing all over your chest. “Open wide kitten.” Kid grinned as you followed along, opening your mouth to accept his cock. Law waited until You had Kid’s cock in your mouth before slamming his hips forward. Your scream muffled as your lips were wrapped out the redheads cock. 

“FUCK!” Kid growled out feeling your scream muffle and vibrate around his dick. He placed his hands around your throat to feel the bulge his cock was making with each thrust of his hips groaning with each movement. Law thrust his hips in time with Kid’s, every thrust in your throat was a thrust into your cunt so every sound you made sent a chill up Kid’s spine. Law moaned your name in that delicious voice of his, “You’re so wet. You must be really turned on to feel like water dripping on my cock.” Law taunted, his body temperature rising from the scene that was playing before him. 

His eyes glanced at Luffy who was kissing you all over his arm winding itself around your waist like a snake in the grass before glancing to the bump in your throat.

“Feels like we’re in a porno.” Kid grunts watching the way Law slammed into your cunt, the doctor gives a breathy chuckle, “Y-yeah- nngh- I was thinking the same thing.” You moved your hand to the front of Luffy’s pants which he quickly shimmered out of so your hand could wrap around his length. He felt hot to the touch, the man hissing at the feel of some friction finally on his dick. “Your hands feel so nice- ugh! Dammit Law, hurry up!” Luffy grumbled out making the doctor scowl. 

Your walls clenched around Law’s cock a mix of him fucking you along with Luffy bickering were making you flustered. You gasped again as you felt a hand rub at your sensitive clit, you didn’t know who but it felt good. It was Luffy’s hand. Your grip on his cock was tight mimicking your slick walls but too dry so he looked down and spit down on your hand that was stroking him. You couldn’t help but groan at how nasty he was sometimes, Kid was making your throat sore by the second while Law’s cock was stabbing into your g-spot, over and over and over again. 

Fuck it all felt so good, your mind was spinning, heart racing and thighs trembling in Law’s hands that pushed your legs back. Your cunt was slobbering all over Law’s cock, Luffy’s fingers rubbing on your clit collecting the slick that dripped out for a smoother ride. Luffy played with your clit like the strings of a guitar, Kid’s cock feeling every little sound that you were making as you sucked his dick. “MMM! NGH! MMGH!” Your moans were gurgled and Kid just groaned like a wounded animal. “Fuck fuck fuck! Law, hurry the hell up!” 

“What’s the matter Jaggy? Gonna bust already?” Law taunted trying to act like he wasn’t on the edge of exploding despite almost reaching his peak. Kid wanted to slap him in his smug face, the scowl on his face unmistakeable, “So fucking what. Now either hurry up and cum or move for a minute so I can cum inside her. You know she likes getting creampied as much as possible.” Law gave another breathy Law but reluctantly moved nonetheless to switch spots with Luffy. The stretchy man moving to get just a bit of your slick throat. 

“Yo flip over, I wanna see your ass up.” Kid grunted holding onto the base of his cock so he wouldn’t explode before dipping in your sweet cunt. Everyone gives you the space to shakily flip over, your arms barely able to hold yourself up. Kid smirked as he swung his hand down to watch the plump meat of your ass jiggle like crazy, “So sexy.” Luffy can’t even contain his grin at the feel of your tongue coming out to lick along his cock like it’s a flesh made lollipop. Luffy never really cared for head, always wanting to keep his mouth busy instead but watching the way your tongue swirled around his cock had him curious. 

“Man this does feel good.” Luffy groaned, head throwing itself back as he pushed his fingers in your hair. Luffy couldn’t help but stretch his hand to grab his hat, placing it on your head so your hair stayed out of your face so he had a better look. You reached over to wrap your hand around Law’s cock, squeezing him to make him know that you still were paying attention to him. Tongue swirling around your stretching captain, moaning long and broken as Kid slid into your slick pussy. “Gonna fill you so fucking full.” Kid groaned out only for Luffy to laugh, “Doubt it.” 

“Shut the fuck up will ya.” Kid grunted but it broke off in the end as he came inside of you only after two thrusts, hips slamming into you roughly as he spilled his hot seed deep in your cunt. His cock was thicker than Law’s, feeling the stretch of him made you shiver as you felt his cum fill you up to the brim. You whined deep in the back of your throat, your cunt twitching at the thought and feel of Kid’s seed, he was definitely right about you liking creampies. 

Kid gave another thrust before pulling out to toss himself back onto the bed with a sigh, “Your pussy is pretty fucking good I give you that.” Kid grinned as he propped his arms behind his head as he continued to watch the show. Law practically jumped back in his spot, not literally but with how fast he went behind you it seemed like it. “Yeah it must be if you came in two pumps.” Law scuffled and Kid just rolled his eyes. “Fuck off.” Law smirked as he slid in your dripping cunt, his tattooed hands clawing your hips to quickly pull you back onto his cock. 

“Hey~” Luffy pouted as he slammed his hips forward into your throat, hating how Law pulled you away. Luffy scrambled forward in order to stay as close to you as possible, not wanting your throat to be away from his cock even for a second. “You look good with my hat on, I have to put it on you more often.” Luffy chuckled and you only moaned louder as if answering him, he wasn’t sure but it did feel good though. 

“Shit- nngh- fuck baby you feel good.” Law moaned out, his hips slamming into you roughly and you could tell he was going to cum soon. His fingers digging into your hips were probably going to leave marks and the idea makes you moan. “I never thought we’d all be getting turns to fuck our cum into you.” Law couldn’t help the chuckle that left him, eyes glued onto your ass that slapped into his hips. Luffy nodded his head as he pulled his cock out of your mouth to slam his lips into yours so he could dance his tongue with yours. 

Luffy loved your mouth on his dick but sometimes he needed to keep his own busy or it made his head spin. Moving his lips from yours to kiss along your neck it allowed your sounds to actually fill the space of the inn’s room that you were in. The moans that left you were like beautiful music, a sea shanty that was played along the ocean waves, it was quite fitting for how wet your pussy was. “That’s it baby, get nice and loud for us.” Ugh the way he kept saying ‘us’ was driving you mad, pushing you over the edge to ecstasy. 

Your cunt twitched and pulled Law further inside of your sweet wetness, a vice grip on his cock was also pushing the doctor over the edge right along with you. His cock stutters against your g-spot giving it a final kiss before you both erupt around each other.

“Fuck! LAW YES!” Your pussy literally gushing onto the sheets below as Law came deep inside of your cunt. Your eyes rolling back as your throat spilled broken moans, hips pushing back against Law making him hiss loudly. “Yesyesyes!” Your cry of satisfaction had Luffy grinning as he knew his turn was finally here. “Yay my turn! Movemovemove!” Law could only roll his eyes and back away from you to sit next to Law at the head of the bed. 

Kid and Law both exhausted from pleasure and the long battle they endured earlier. “Damn look at you go, third cock of the night. I think you need a medal.” Kid joked as he watched Luffy flip you again like a pancake. “I wanna see your face when I make you cum.” Luffy told you as your chest heaved for much needed air. In a way you were grateful for Luffy wanting you on your back as your body’s energy was slowly depleting.

“Long time since we fucked aye Captain?” You teased and you were right, it had been a while, the stresses of Wano keeping you away from your Captain and long time friend’s embrace. Luffy grinned as he reached for his hat to place it on his head before grabbing you by your legs literally dragging you towards him. “Ha! I guess it has been a while.” Luffy smiled down at you, that damn smile that makes your belly churn. You always felt safe with him, your silly friend, your dear captain. 

Luffy threw your legs on his shoulders as he planted his hands on the side of your head, “Help me out will ya.” You reach down to grab his cock rubbing it against the slick of your pussy. Teasing the both of you as you wiggled your hips against the tip of his cock but Luffy only huffed and slammed his hips forward. “Enough of the teasing.” 

Luffy’s cock plunged in your cunt making you gasp out his name as he moaned yours. His eyes locked on your face watching every scrunch of your brows and the way your mouth dropped open with a scream of his name. “It’s pretty naughty of you don’t you think?” Luffy asks you, making you whine as you stare up at him, your hands going to grab at his wrists for some kind of leverage. 

“W-what? Luffy~ nngh- fuckk- what do you mean?” You try to ask and Luffy just grins wickedly, “Getting fucked by all of us at the same time. Kind of naughty right? S-sanji told me it was- ah - something …w-what’s that word? Fuck - nngh- shit- starts with a t.”

“Taboo.” Law suggests and Luffy slams his hips into you harder as he cheers, “That’s it!” Luffy beams down at you and your flustered expression. “So~ Isn’t it naughty? Say it.” You moan as he fucks into you harder, hips rocking into you making the bed shake, headboard slamming into the wall with each thrust. “Yes Luffy~ so naughty~” 

“Yeah. It is, isn't it?” Luffy grunts as he feels your walls clenched tightly, his words getting the best of you. And you know he’s not trying to dirty talk you, it’s just Luffy genuinely asking a question. Your nails dig into his wrists making him hiss, as you stare up at him with that damn face of yours. It was lewd the way you looked at him, as if your gaze could fuck him along with your cunt. 

“So good captain~ fuck Luffy right there~” You moan out as he leans down closer till your breath danced along his face. His head turning to kiss along your ankle before nipping you softly. “You like having lots of cum inside you.” He wasn’t asking. “Like being really full till it drips out without anyone noticing. Fuck you’re so full already, I can feel it. You’re already so wet, my dick is slipping so much.” 

“Damnit Luffy you don’t shut up.” Kid was flustered again with the way Luffy was talking to you but Luffy just looked at him with a sharp glare that you missed because you were too busy moaning out. Your eyes rolling back as your captain fucked your cunt like he had something to prove to the other two captains and in a way he did. You weren’t his, not dating wise, but you were his crewmate. “Oh fuck~ Luffy please~ Ugh fuck! You feel so good~! Please don’t stop! Please~” You were begging for something and Luffy knew just what you needed despite your lack of explanation. 

Stretching his cock just right to poke and kiss your g-spot nonstop, it was mind boggling how he always brought you there so quickly. His d.f. Always doing the trick to having you cumming more than you can count. “Don’t worry. You’re doing good. You did great tonight.” You thought he meant the sex but it was more than that, he noticed how you took on enemies at the raid and battle, constantly holding your own and helping others as much as possible. Even now, how you were able to keep up with all the captains was impressive. 

“Luffy!” Your throat felt sore from being fucked all night, your screams adding to the friction. “Luffy I’m gonna cum~” The whine that leaves you is so embarrassing but it makes Luffy grin down. “That’s okay.” He tells you before stretching your limbs further to lean down and kiss your lips in a bruising kiss, teeth and tongues clashing. Your Captain swallows the moan you let out of his name as his hips rut into you. “Cum on me.” He mumbled against your lips making your eyes roll as you felt your walls clenching tighter, cream coating his cock wonderfully.  “My turn.” Luffy mumbles as his hips never lose their tempo on slamming into you before his balls tighten up. Cum shooting deep inside your pussy, painting the walls of your cunt white. 

“MMM!” You moan as you hear the loud squishes your pussy and their cum is making inside of you. The sticky seed leaking down to drip on your ass in an erotic sight. You thought you were gonna black out as Luffy didn’t even let up, cock still hard as a rock as he continued to fuck you harder and deeper. “OH! OH! AHH! CAPTAIN!  FUUUUUCK! LUFFY!” 

You didn't think you could take anymore but he wasn’t going to stop until he came inside of you a few more times. Definitely a long night filled with lots of creampies until the early morning sun slowly began to rise. Luffy didn’t stop until your hold on his loosened and your hands fell at your side, eyes looking at him sleepily. Only then did Luffy let up and give you one final load of his cum, the other two men having long fallen asleep. When Luffy’s cock finally went soft and he slipped out of you to pull you in his arms, he gave you a big grin before kissing your head. 

“That was fun. Maybe we should have them join in more often.” Luffy suggests and you just tiredly laugh as you wrap your arms around each other. “Yeah I’m sure they’ll miss me after they're gone.” Luffy just grins as he pulls the blanket of you all, “Who wouldn’t?” 

“You’re right I am pretty great.”

[sparrow-in-the-field]

Alright, I waited to share my thoughts/criticisms on severance s2 because tbh for a bit I thought I just wouldn't, but I keep thinking about the show, so I might as well!

Typical disclaimer that this is all just my opinion. I know some people loved this season, and I know others are more like me and preferred s1. And both of those takes are okay! Either way, it's just a fun show to talk about!

Alright a couple links and then I'll jump in:

Here were my thoughts on s1. It's one of my favorite seasons of any show ever. I wrote that post right before s2 aired, when I was still young and naive and hopeful about the next season lol.

This post by failchild is a far better written and organized post that sums up my main criticisms as well. I reference it a few times in my thoughts and highly recommend reading it.

Discussion under the cut because it's gonna be a long one!

I managed to bucket my criticisms into four categories, with examples in each. Let's just jump in!

Too many new characters, too few consequences

I'm not sure it was even a show that needed new characters, yet we got so many this season! Imo, the heart of the show was always the four in MDR (see my s1 post). In addition to them as the main group, you had Cobel, Milchick. Devon and Ricken. Gemma/Ms. Casey, of course. Burt and Felicia. A substantial and valuable cast! Adding one or two new characters, sure, it's bound to happen, but with only 1-2 new ones, they could be fleshed out and worked in to the main story in a way that felt organic and like they were complex characters. Not a single character that was added this season felt that way to me. They fell flat, and ultimately barely made a mark in the story. For instance:

Drummond. Who is this man??? I'm sorry who is he?? Why did he start showing up with virtually no introduction? I think he and Helena might be siblings because he called Jame father but tbh with the weird cult stuff that could just be what they call their leader so idk for sure?? Why couldn't they have given him a proper introduction. One line. "Hey Helena your [half, full, who cares] brother is back from [literally any other implied Lumon site]." Or "Alright MDR, this is Drummond, Grainer's replacement for security." Like!! I know feeding exposition through dialogue is boring sometimes, but I sure can still benefit from it when it's a brand spanking new character! And then beyond that, what was his personality? Brooding, I guess. What was his job? To be antagonistic, I guess. The creator of the show has said that Drummond cares about Helena above everyone else, but I sure as hell didn't know that! They made eye contact sometimes, as people do. They said words to each other in a meeting, like twice. And I'm supposed to understand they care about each other on a deeper level, from that?? If you want to make claims about your characters, then you have to show me in the actual show instead of mentioning it retroactively. And then Drummond died. So none of it matters anyway. He was written in to be a brooding henchman and he died and that was it. No understanding of his motivations, his background, even really his role in the company or the family. And now he's dead so it doesn't even matter. Not to mention that Mark S. literally had no idea who he was when they fought. They'd never met before. To me, it made the fight feel less significant, and more violence for the sake of violence.

Ms Huang. I want to love Ms Huang, and I suppose in a way I do!! But I wanted to understand her, I wanted to know her. All I know is she is a child doing the same internship that Cobel did. Her presence I appreciated and could pick up on its significance without the show blatantly telling me (having a child manager is a shield for violence, Lumon has always and continues to use child labor, etc.). But what about Ms Huang herself?? What are her motivations, what is her background? Any question she was asked, she dismissed. And where is she now? Oh that's right. Sent away. I genuinely believe we'll never see her again, because her story was a dead end. She was a kid in an internship and it ended. What more would there be for her next season? So yes, the child worker was a "whoa" moment and it tells us something new about the company, but she's another new character who comes and goes with no actual consequence to the plot or main characters.

Dr. Maur. I hate this man. Who the fuck is this man. I get that someone had to be down there working on Gemma (I would have appreciated a nod to Cobel though, like she at least had some involvement since she sent Ms. Casey to the testing floor in s1) but this character felt less like a person and more like a nearly cartoonish villain. Just the creepy man doing creepy experiments. And then in the end? Mark and Gemma escape, get in the elevator before he can catch them. No real confrontation; he's not even in the room when Mark finds Gemma. idk if we'll see him again next season, but frankly if we don't, it won't make a difference.

Fields. I also hate this man. This was one of the new characters I was actually anticipating! I expected him to potentially be a very interesting and involved character! But nope. He's in one episode, is a real fucking freak, and then is gone. Doesn't matter. His character had zero consequences on the Burt/Irving plot, and I seriously doubt we'll ever see him again (good).

Lorne. Okay I do have a soft spot for Lorne, she is precious and good! But she only showed up when convenient. She talked to Mark and Helly/na when they showed up, and she saved Mark from Drummond. Last season there was a huge running theme about the departments coming together; Burt/Irving was about more than their romance, it was this idea of workers joining together. But Lorne only saved Mark because she just so happened to be there when he was in trouble (their departments never sought each other out again after their encounter). And then Mark leaves. And she...takes Emeile back to the other goats? I guess? Maybe we'll see her again, especially if the innies really are going to rise up in a more significant way. But who knows for sure.

A lack of consequences for everyone, actually

It's staggering, how little had actual consequences in this season. So much that happened either in s1 or started to happen in s2 just... didn't matter. For instance:

Reintegration. Everyone's talked about this already so I'll keep it short. But it felt so exciting that Mark was reintegrating so early, and that first shot on him on the table at the end of ep3 got me so hyped!! Only for nothing to happen. By the finale, even the way Mark is talking about it sounds like he's not actually done it (wild that after "flooding the chip" he's still acting right as rein [able to get into physical fights in fact] and having no issues, meanwhile Petey was out here fighting for his life just to take a damn shower). It felt like Mark could have just been considering reintegration and nothing would have been different in the plot. "But we needed it for Gemma's episode!" Except we didn't? Nothing about that ep felt like reintegration as we've seen it. He honest to god could have just stared wistfully at a photo of his wife and they could have jumped into flashbacks that way.

Helena's YouTuber ass apology video and general lack of outside world response. This ties into the whole world feeling a lot smaller this season that failchild talked about, but it's really frustrating that the s1 finale essentially ended up having zero consequences. I feel like with as many people as were shown in s1 to protest severance or hate Lumon, at least some people in the outside world would be calling bullshit on Helena's excuse for what Helly said at the party. But what? She made the video and everyone was like "oh okay" and dropped it? I'm not saying this had to be a huge plot point, but like, idk. At least show me some protestors outside the property! Have the news on in the background, have Helena mention being annoyed at journalists asking her more questions! Just any acknowledgement that what Helly did at least made ripples, because that finale felt so huge when it came out. And the way the s2 treated it, essentially nothing was accomplished from an honestly incredible thing that Helly managed to pull off.

Milchick. Again, I think people have already talked about this a lot, so I'll keep it short, but. I so greatly wanted to learn more about Milchick this season. I wanted to know his backstory, his motivations, his dreams, anything. He had a bigger part this season, so I was hoping to see some form of character development, whether for the good or bad, I didn't care! Just something changing within him. But despite everything he faced, nothing changed? I guess he told Drummond to eat shit (which again, a weird lack of consequences he faced for that), but then was like "whelp, back to doing what I always do!" I guess I just went into this season wanting to understand Milchick more, and I still don't. He had the same outcome as s1, still essentially a henchmen trying to control innies. Except this time we got to see people be racist towards him. ...cool.

Ricken's storyline. Not much to say here other than Ricken played such an interesting role in s1, with his book inspiring the innies. They started to go somewhere with that but got bored I guess?? Anyway, hope him and Eleanor are doing okay lol.

The board???? So. What happened to the board. Remember when everyone reported to the board? When every vital decision seemed up to the board? When Cobel used to speak to them through Natalie. When, hell, in this very season, Mark plugged in that speaker and that's how he got his friends back!! Why did the board just like, completely disappear by the end of the show? The board wasn't in the back half of the season at all, let alone in the finale!! Supposedly the most important day in Lumon's history, and the board just?? isn't there?? Isn't even mentioned. I have no idea why they dropped this concept. There for awhile it was one of the more fun mysteries of the show, and now it's like it hardly even existed.

The core group is gone: Irv, my beloved, I'm so sorry

Again, this has been talked about a lot already, but just. Man I'm ngl sometimes I now get emotional over s1 clips because look how much those four used to mean to each other!! They were a family!! And now that's all gone and it's like the characters don't even care?

Irv. By far the biggest disappointment in this season for me personally was Irv's story. It's almost hard for me to talk about because it bothered me so much. You had an incredible character, with an amazing actor, and you said "eh. Send him away." And then everyone just went with it?? I thought for sure they were going to raise hell to bring him back; they'd do the work as four or they wouldn't do it at all!! But no, they just...had a weird funeral. And moved on. I really thought what Irv did for Helly was the set up, the first half, of a full circle moment for the two of them. Imagine how emotionally fulfilling their reunion would be?? Imagine how much it would have developed their relationship! It would have been so cool. But no, Irv is just gone, and honestly nearly forgotten in a way that feels almost like an insult to s1 imo.

Dylan also was very much in his own world this season and I can't decide if it's in character? Like yeah him getting to see Gretchen was huge and I get that, but just. Idk, he loved his MDR family too, so much so that he stayed behind for them in s1!! He was always involved, he always wanted to be involved!! But then Milchick, who he hated by the end of last season, says "hey buddy maybe stay quiet" and he just does?? Idk man, felt a little convenient.

And then Mark and Helly were just. Idk man I'm not making this about ships. I liked when they kissed in s1; it felt authentic. But then this season they ramped it up to 100 and I just. Sorry. It felt so fast to me. It felt like they disregarded everything around them for the sake of themselves and that doesn't feel reflective of the characters I knew in s1?

The Lumon (and Cold Harbor) of it all

Other people have talked about this too, but there were some questionable choices in my opinion about Mark's sudden over-importance to Lumon, and also Lumon at large felt less coherent to me this season.

Why does everyone have to be in on the conspiracy? I'm mostly talking about Burt here. Why was he was Lumon cronie? I really thought that Outie Burt and Irv's story would have been an interesting character-based story, about this premise of loving someone but them being with someone else. Maybe a tale as old as time for some, but I think through the lens of two older queer men, and with the innie versus outie dynamic, it could have been a really refreshing story? It didn't need to be about Lumon. Not everything in s1 was directly about Lumon (Mark's relationship with Devon and Ricken, Mark dating Alexa, his attempts to talk to Petey's daughter, etc.). The only spy was Cobel and it made sense given her job within Lumon. But Burt?? Mr. Fine Arts degree Burt?? Was also the hit driver during his off hours?? The Burt/Irv storyline could have gone about a thousand different directions, and that was just... not the one I wanted, frankly. And tbh with how little screen time it got and how abruptly it ended, I seriously wonder how dedicated to the storyline the writers were either.

Cold Harbor's sudden urgency. Failchild's post covers the flaws of Mark as suddenly the most important guy really well, so I won't get to into that exactly, but from the very first mention of Cold Harbor, I had my hackles up. Before, a huge theme of the show was MDR just doing the mysterious work. There were quarters to meet, but no ultimate goal or end point. Then in s2, all of the sudden everything is urgent, everything is superlative. This Has to get Done. It is the Most Important Thing Ever. If it happens, Gemma will Die and Mark/all of MDR will be Fired and will therefore also Die (which the internal logic of that from both a science and business perspective... sighs I won't get into it). Maybe this is a weird take, but I didn't need the Ms. Casey/Gemma story to have urgency; I didn't need her life to be on the line for me to want her out of there!! It just felt so jarring to go from s1 of "they're all doing this weird work that has existed for at least a few years with several different people who came and went from the team" to "all of this is for Mark and Gemma and that is all that matters for the entirety of Lumon, and after today it will all be Complete and Done Forever". Like...what?

Additionally, in s1, Petey's map says "people live down here". There's this fear that people, plural, don't get to have outies. Yet when we finally see Gemma in s2, she's alone in this gigantic hallway maze. There are 25 rooms all for her and her alone! Again, suddenly in s2 She is The One. The rest of the MDR files are?? Fake?? There... aren't multiple people trapped down there?? Lumon's whole success rests on her and Mark's shoulders alone?? IF IT ONLY WORKS WITH MARK AND GEMMA HOW ARE YOU GOING TO TURN IT INTO SOMETHING USEABLE FOR LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE??? Sorry, I got carried away...my point is, in s1 it felt like a different story. It felt like MDR would care because Ms. Casey was one of them and she potentially represented a greater, darker world of permanent innies. But that was completely forgotten in s2.

Another contradicting detail was the marching band. Don't get me wrong, it was fun watching Tillman lead a band, but...why is there a severed marching band? It just doesn't align with the original theme of the severed floor, which was about keeping innies separate and departments small, for doing mysterious and important work. What possible other roles could a marching band have fulfilled on the severed floor?

Possibly my favorite point that failchild brought up was the way s2 dropped the corporate satire theme from the show, when that was originally what made it such a refreshing concept. I think my points in this section all nod to that at their core. The cult-y Kier stuff was fun as undertones in s1, but it taking over has made it harder to understand (or take seriously tbh) Lumon's actual power and goals as a corporation at large.

In conclusion

Okay that was a lot of criticisms! lol whoops. Tbh I think the writers had a huge challenge to accomplish after s1; it's a tough premise that had set at a ridiculously high standard in s1. And I think them getting to do this season at all, after 3 years, was so exciting and fun to watch! I wish things had gone differently, but hey, that's just how watching TV goes sometimes. I'll still stick around for s3--who knows how that'll go! (Please bring Irv back, please make Gemma a main character, please do something new with Milchick).

If there's something I didn't touch on in this that you'd like my opinion on, or want me to elaborate on something I did say, feel free to send me an ask! I genuinely like talking about this show even if it accidentally came off as haterism lol.

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker 2x09

Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you saw the last of me. Except not because I said I might do this. And now I am.

As you may or may not know or care, the Wizard Breakdown Tracker began almost exactly four years ago (March 26 2021) and ran through the end of Campaign 2, including the Uk'otoa two-shot, echoes of the solstice, and occasional other appearances, covering the mental state of wizard NPCs. Because by the end of Campaign 2, we sure had amassed a cast of Wizard NPCs.

And it was pretty late in the game, is the thing, and the wizard NPCs begin quite early, and also when I was binge-watching The Pitt over the past few days I remembered the breakdown tracker, for obvious reasons* (spoilers for The Pitt under the cut lol) because really, what I love most in life and The Enjoyment Of Fiction is watching people who are really good at what they do have a little nervous breakdown so that I can experience catharsis. I'm very normal and being a high-achieving eldest daughter did not shape my psyche.

ANYWAY it is time for our wizard tracker, which is brief because we're at one (1) wizard NPC reveal so far, and while I know what they have coming for them, they don't.

Pumat Sol: Unbothered. Hydrated. Moisturized. Happy. In His Lane(s). Flourishing. Fitter. Happier. More Productive. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. He is doing great and I cannot wait until he meets Yasha but that's in like 6 or 7 episodes. He's vibing and he's thriving. 0/10.

Until we Nein Again, this has been: The Wizard Breakdown Tracker.

Ok actually just to be transparent here, I believe we won't run into any more wizards or see Pumat for a couple more episodes so I may have to vamp a bunch or skip it until we've got a slightly larger cast or idk, include Caleb or otherwise get silly with it; this may not be a weekly installment. but it will be semi-regular.

bonus Main Cast Doctor/Med Student breakdown tracker for cool people because the wizard breakdown tracker is kinda thin and it's funny as hell to do this. to me anyway. in reverse order of seniority:

Victoria Jiavadi: she has already snapped and told her mother to read the fucking room however she is actually finding out that passing out aside (to be fair I did NOT look close at the degloving and I'm not squeamish and also not physically present and I know it's not real) she actually might have what it takes for emergency medicine! 7/10, I don't think she knows how to relax but honestly this is a downgrade for her

Dennis Whittaker: apologies to my mutuals who have been hearing me talk about the most sopping wet cat in the state of Pennsylvania all weekend but while Santos might give him a heart attack with her REBOA antics, he's also starting to realize that he might be cut out for this after all. 6/10 and it's gonna go down if Carmen gets an OR quick; he got his breakdowns out of the way early so honestly it's been an upswing for him.

Dr. Santos: her vibe is that she's got it all under control but I know how this works and things have gone too smoothly for her I feel her time is coming this coming episode or the finale. Or maybe not. She might not crack until season 2. But I'm going with an 8/10.

Dr. King: perhaps this is revealing things about myself but my gut check is that she's going to handle the remainder of the shift like an absolute champ, pick up her sister, go home, and once her sister is asleep, fall apart for precisely 23 minutes and then listen to some calming sounds and go to bed herself. 5/10 for the next episode at least.

Dr. McKay: She did just drill through an ankle monitor and her kid is here. Like emotionally she's tough as nails but nerves are fraying. also I did watch the previews and I think chances are we're at like 9/10.

Dr. Mohan: I'm going to admit I think she's great but also unsurprisingly I bounce off of her a bit because she's so good and like, kind of emotionally healthy, honestly. I'm here, as discussed, to see extremely competent people experience mental breakdowns and in doing so have some cathartic release. Anyway she's also crushing it during the MCI so I'm saying 4/10.

Dr. Langdon: oh boy, this could go like. 2-3 different ways, and since this show was renewed and he's got good chemistry with the rest of the cast I'm going to say 9/10, there's going to be TEARS and NARC-ANON MENTIONS and MANLY YELLING but he'll get his job back on probation I think. I don't actually know how this works but also as someone with family on both the provider side and admin side AND someone who has watched all of House MD AND Scrubs I think they're more likely to bend some realism re: letting a doctor who was skimming opioids come back.

Dr. Collins: I hope she listened and has her phone off and is taking a hot bath and having a glass of wine but if she is she is probably at least having a much-deserved cry while doing so, and if she's not, well, she's trying to get to the hospital during an MCI, so also 9/10.

Dr. Robinavitch: bestie did you see the episode. it's showtime. I do want to call out verisimilitude specifically for the Peds room on the Pitt, although in my personal experience they are more likely to be "under the sea" themed than "forest/jungle" themed. but yeah you'll be in like a pediatric x-ray room and there will be elaborate murals of fish, and I think the choice to set this breakdown and all the flashbacks in a pediatric room specifically is a great detail. This isn't about reviews of The Pitt from the perspective of "person who does things in hospitals" though; it's about Dr. Robby, the most divorced man of all time without actually being divorced, absolutely losing it in the corner of a makeshift morgue mid-MCI on The Second Worst Day On This Calendar Date he's ever had, Maybe The First Which Is Saying Something, 10/10.

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[spoilers below cut]

*GASP*

...

how come the Team does this to me? They get me every. single. time. chat, I don't even want to click on the episode BUT I HAVE TO KNOW IF MY THEORY WAS RIGHT OH WHYYYY

(the following is my live reaction:)

starting off already? well no complaints from me

it's giving "Trust No One" from WOTFI 2023 arc

PFFT HAHAHHAHAHAHA

ok ok ik it's supposed to be serious, but that "wha happen?" audio clip from Mickey Mouse Shorts really caught me off-guard. Who in the Team did that? I want to say thank you

anyway, Mario dude you gotta tell everything, especially to Karen

...well, the minecraft part isn't wrong but he's not telling the whole story

omg 4 really is doing the same thing as 3 did a year ago

which is crazy considering that 4 wasn't in 3's interrogation on Mario. They're so cosmically linked that they came up with the same interrogation method, well it's also Mario we're talking about

yeah, we'll let Karen do the rest

might as well give in, Mario. it ain't worth hiding any secrets

...4?

he's so silly I love him 💙

idk 4, maybe you should be an inspiring VA (4 would be the type of parent who would do all the characters' voices when reading bedtime stories 😌↕️)

oh. oh holy shit.

well at least you're getting it out of your system, Karen. but I do feel genuinely concerned you. I still understand but worried.

the shadows making it look like she's stabbing Mario isn't helping with my concerns

...what was that?

*wheeze* no 4, it's not the IRS

OH we got a sniper here, folks. WPNZ?

AND A ROBOTIC HAND? yeah, we're not just guessing anymore. the anon from my inbox who said that WPNZ may be a cyborg, you nailed it man

Ain't no way, Mario died (he literally cannot)

THE GMOD GUN IS BACK

HOLY SHIT nice save Karen

it's confirmed: 4 doesn't pay his taxes

Mario: "I am..." [*Invincible title card*]

he still got the walkie-talkie.... what the hell did WPNZ say to him?

YEP now we're putting the pieces together

*wheeze* Mario what was that run?

pull some strings, you say? perhaps... CONNECTIONS?

GET EM GIRLS /ref

secretive, ay?

what's with the dark room?

*flashback* I just remembered a traumatizing experience in my past, hang on I have to stim and I'll feel better. /ref

damn Mario ok

oh wait, I recognize this animation style. Anaidon, did you work on this scene? :D

PFFT THE DISTRACTION DANCE FROM THE HENRY STICKMAN SERIES OMG

I did not see that coming, ok who in the Team did that bc that was good haha. nostalgia go brrrrrrrrrr

No, WPNZ, it really did work ngl

oh shit

yep it's a cyborg hand if it's compatible with an actual arm

Gear up, it's for a swell battle!!!

FLAMETHROWER?! even Mario's not liking this

no, 4! this isn't Mario, it's Mr. WPNZ

😦

*pauses episode* ...chat, can you do something for me?

hold me back, and don't let go until I'm done. ready?

*ahem*

...WPNZ YOU SON OF A BITCH WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU AND I SWEAR YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIVE TO SEE TOMORROW— *10 minutes and a nuke explosion later*

ok I'm good.

4 I'm going to need you to wake up buddy. c'mon you can't die, especially not you. 4 don't do this to me, you can't. you faced way worse stuff before, this can't hold you down now. your friends, your family, they're waiting for you to come back home. you can't leave them. 4 please

WE GOT A PULSE OH THANK GOD

IT'S A WEAK ONE THO, WE NEED TO GET HIM TO A DOCTOR NOW

I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO, IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT 😭

at least Karen could finally get some answers

...a surprise?! OH HELL NO that guy nearly got them killed for ENTERING, it's a trap for sure

LET'S GO GET YOUR KIDS BACK but do be careful, we still don't know what we're up against

😭

get 4 outta there!! oh god, is the Crew gonna see 4 in critical condition? Beeg4? *head in hands*

I swear the Team is out to get me (also Mario carrying out 4 strangely reminded me of a scene from a fic I read long ago)

and ofc the whole building on fire goddammit

(btw that fall reminded me of the insomniac spider-man teasers ifykyk)

no Karen, hun you aren't. you're like one of the best parents of the entire show

you're trying to be better and give your kids the life you didn't get to have, that pretty much makes you a good parent overall

YEAH LOCK IN

alright, the moment of truth

huh? radio interference?

I FUCKIN KNEW IT YEP IT'S CONFIRMED

MR. WPNZ IS KAREN'S EX LOVER AND FATHER OF THE KIDS

(well nicc, looks like you get you keep your script after all)

oh, so he's pretty much a psycho, good to know *starts curb-stomping him*

I TOLD YOU ALL THE "HALF PINTS* NICKNAME WAS TOO SPECIFIC

what kinda monster? oh the mentally-messed-up yandere ass one, yeah that kinda monster

HE'S AT THEIR HOUSE?! FUCKFUCKFUCK

ok yeah I see how it is. violence isn't enough, time to commit crimes :)

no, don't end it there. please don't

*flips desk* AND THE MUTED-COLOR CREDITS OH C'MON

looks like I got something else right, it was a mini-arc. it's all within the math

Congrats to daekim_26 for your art being featured at the end credits! 🎉 hey, I recognize this, Ben reblogged this over on Twitter. ig the Team really liked your art

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

I. I'm just speechless omg. Like what am I supposed to say to that? Shadow, is this what you meant when you said we're not prepared for this? I need to walk out a sec, hang on.

ok I'm back. I guess first off, Team, wow. What an episode, it is absolutely insane how good it all was. Especially the writing and the voice acting for Karen, it tugged on my heart strings. And Anaidon, I KNEW YOU ANIMATED THAT SCENE haha!

Genuninely, bravo 👏👏👏 and my calculations were right after all

Actually, for me to post my theory hours before the episode was dropped, I'm surprised how much I got it right. Most of it, yeah, though I didn't expect how insane Mr. WPNZ is. More so doing it for himself and not the corporation, but still a lot of dedication was put into this. And he got a robotic arm! Not exactly like Clench (who has a mind of its own and can talk) but definitely advanced. So, the point could still stand that the tech, skills, and resources were based on his job at Hitman Inc.

Poor Karen, you can tell she's been very desperate in finding her kids by the voice acting alone. You can't blame her for going to these lengths. Like I said, understandable, but I do still feel concerned for her. And then, her psycho ex on top of everything smh, I won't be able to handle it.

And you can't even blame Mario either. He did the mission thinking it would help Karen, and Mr. WPNZ told him what to do. Then with the prosthetic taking Mario's arm, it wasn't even him. It was WPNZ, but I do feel like Mario's going to feel so guilty for what he did to 4.

Wrong things for the right reason 😔↕️

Speaking of 4, NO NOT MY BOY. Chat, I'm not okay. Like I knew he wasn't going to die, he's literally one of the main characters, but my heart dropped at that scene. Through the floor and 6 feet underground. I did ask for 4 angst, yes, but damn. Can you imagine how the Crew would react? Since 3 & 4 are cosmically linked, would 3 feel that 4's in critical condition? Oh Beeg, 4's his dad dude. Beeg may be pretty tough but he still cares for 4, hope he gets a bit of revenge for it. (and a sprinkle of mar4 angst)

...am I going to bring in goop!4 into this?

Who do you take me for? ofc I am. As I mentioned, the parasite would still be in 4, and because of what happened to him, it might be the necessary trigger for it to activate. After everything that had happened to him, the explosion really knocked him out. This is taken seriously, this mini-arc starts really close to the IGBP anniversary.... I wouldn't be surprised if the Team tease for the future goop!4 arc. Not immediately after the Hitman arc, far later. Baby steps, chat. If the Team drops at least ONE frame, a SECOND, about goop!4, I'll take it!

Anyway, since it is a mini-arc, we're not getting another teaser or a trailer. BUT we are getting an episode special, so we'll have to look out for that. In meantime, that's all from me. I'll see yall next time and remember, folks: numbers always go first!

man, Ben. I gotta say, the thumbnail you made, it was a cool reference to the Parasite movie poster. Awesome job!

...huh.

[quinngefail]

You can answer this privately if you want but I wanted to know your opinion on apprentice Lawrence? Very so valid if you don’t like it coz different strokes for different folks and also coming from a place of genuine curiosity :0

Coz I got my idea of the whole Saw universe but I defo LOVE to hear others on their thoughts and ideas of the universe 👀

Okay lmao time to be a little hater on main

Putting a cut coz this got to be a bit long HSKS

But yeah uhhh. I completely despise it, I've said it across scattered posts here but truly and genuinely there is nothing in this franchise that I dislike more. It just makes my eyes glaze over so fucking fast, man 😩

Like. Putting aside any attachments I have to the character, the concept in itself is just so forced to me. Like ermmm wouldn't it be freaking crazy if we brought Lawrence back, but he's like kinda fr*cked up and evil now 😱 regardless of if it makes sense for his character or not 😱 it'll go hard fr, coz like dude HE'S FROM THE FIRST MOVIE!! and now we're on The Final Chapter so we have to do something crazy, so GUY FROM THE FIRST MOVIE IS BACK and you won't see it coming but he's evil now 😱 that'd be crazy fr!!!

And I know I'm much more biased towards stories of redemption, + I'm not gonna act like my opinion is fact or anything. But to me, it's just so frustrating that he has this whole arc in the first movie only for it to be thrown away in favor of something that feels so fucking abrupt and jarring for him 😔

And people can call me 'Too Ship-Brained' all they want, or that I'm into 'sanitized' content, but it's just. 1) I would feel this way regardless of chainshipping 2) I'm just personally way more interested in seeing someone trying to recover from the situation he went through; trying to grapple with the trauma and his new reality, while also taking the initiative to become a better person.

And idk people may look at that and be like "Oh so you're validating John's methods, then" but I feel like the statements "yes this did help me wake up to my flaws and how my actions affect others, and now I want to work to become better" and "but no one else should go ever have to go through what I went through" can co-exist, and I personally just. Do not see Lawrence taking the route he does in canon

Obviously he's made some horrible decisions (as we very clearly see in the first movie), and no amount of personal inner turmoil should excuse that. I do feel like he is a good person at his core though, but he had lost sight of how to be that person. And I'm just way more interested in seeing his journey to becoming that person and living as happily as he can over whatever the fuck is happening in canon lmao 😩

And like I don't doubt that there is an interesting story to be told with his canon self, and I also don't want to make anyone feel bad or belittled for enjoying canon. I also know there are also people who have put a lot of thought and care into headcanons and characterizations based on his canon self, and I don't want to just dismiss all that effort,, it's just not my cup of tea at the end of the day. And I'm very fine with people feeling that way about the way I prefer to characterize him :]

Idk. I see the whole tragedy that canon presents, but I'm just way more interested in exploring a different kind of tragedy with these characters 😩

I do try to keep this to myself, coz it's like. I'd rather just focus on creating what makes me happy vs. stewing over shit that frustrates me and taking that out on other people in petty ass discourse, y’know-

I've said it before but ultimately I'm just here to have a fun time, and even if I don't fuck with Apprentice Lawrence at all, I will still fall asleep and wake up all the same. At the end of the day these are fictional characters and my life will go on lmao

But yeah uhhh. Don't expect to see any Apprentice Lawrence content around here, I truly just cannot fuckin stand it so I choose to look away 🙌

I'm also a diehard Luke Skywalker fan in a world where that fuck ass sequel trilogy exists so like ignoring canon + entire movies is nothing new for me HESKGRKGK

Those are my thoughts though, thank you for reading if you made it this far :]

[royalarchivist]

[chiarrara]

Nobara truthers, Gojo truthers, I'm a goddamn Higuruma truther. He's not fucking dead, my dude is coming back

[batsplat]

do you have a favorite bit of motogp gossip that you either want to know is it’s true, or you just enjoy as a stand alone piece, no need for further investigation?

one of those where I initially stared at and like. lost all motogp knowledge in my brain. and then stuff did come back to me. this is all very much low hanging fruit and I'll add to it when I remember more interesting/quirky ones. BUT here are some things I want to know:

y'know how casey randomly suggests in his autobiography that valentino was sabotaged in the 2006 title decider? so, personally, I don't really buy this, because 'why' and also 'casey girl you are SO paranoid' - though, sure, if given the option I'd like to double check if valentino had a dud tyre (completely plausible) and also if somebody really deliberately gave him one (?? casey idk about this one). but what I'm REALLY curious about is... there's a change in his autobiography?? like I've seen this book excerpt float around online and the text is different from what's in my book!! mine's from the paperback version so I assume there may have been some edits for that, so that would make it the newer version... but like. this is a real editorial change. check this out:

version posted on the internet, from the hard cover edition???

version in my book, first paragraph is the same

But as soon as the lights went out Valentino was in trouble. I was one of six riders to pass him on the first lap and if you watch the footage you can see how much he is struggling to even keep up with us. His rear and front tyres were just not working together and on lap five the front inexplicably folded and he went down, right behind me. I couldn't help but wonder how he could be having such problems with his tyres. Could he really have been stitched up? It seemed so improbable, but I remember watching that race back in the motorhome that evening and thinking, Welcome to my world, mate.

this isn't 'gossip' because I haven't found anyone else who has spotted this, but like? that's a substantive change? if my one really is the newer one? ...?

let's set aside the fascinating insight you get into casey's knotty and at times bizarre valentino rossi complex with him adding the line "welcome to my world, mate" (oh my god. please just take him to dinner. I will crowd fund this I literally just need to be able to listen in. casey come on CALL him I NEED you to do the dinner thing, YOU suggested it not me). like we're not going to even touch that. but if my version really is the updated one, then he's kinda softened his stance, no?? "convinced he was stitched up" to "could he really have been stitched up"

what happened?? who wanted this change? casey? an editor? did dorna give casey a call? did some poor bloke from pr have to politely ask whether casey could please not state in his autobiography that the most popular rider ever had had a title stolen from him by the establishment?

(casey was talking about valentino's stolen tenth BEFORE it was popular. he did it even before valentino did, bless)

"there are a lot of commercial interests in the sport" also didn't make the jump to the 'new version', mind you. did Big America get to casey

come on you guys have to admit this is an odd change?? does nobody else thing this is weird??

okay fine moving on

Did Valentino Literally Curse Sete

(like. not literally as in did he curse curse sete, literally as in did he say it)

(though if he did literally literally curse curse sete, I suppose I'd also like to know that bit)

the commentators in 2003 brno say so and I'm inclined to believe them, but I need to double check whether sete and valentino really were partying on ibiza together right after that very painful valentino loss at the sachsenring. such a fascinating little detail, that's not something post-2004 valentino does I reckon

I mean, look, obviously a bunch of things from that time period I want to have fact checked. including valentino's friend hearing sete say in late 2003 that valentino wasn't going to be smiling so much after joining yamaha. classic bit of gossip, did it actually happen though

I've referenced this a few times before, but y'know how valentino said that marc's manager alzamora told him after sepang 2015 that marc had been angry at valentino for killing his title charge? I just want. to know. if this conversation actually happened. I don't think valentino would pluck a lie like that out of thin air, especially something so specific about somebody on marc's team, and he has known alzamora for decades but like. maybe almazora just said something valentino misinterpreted? I just find this such a bonkers thing from alzamora if it's true that I would like it confirmed for my own sanity, you know?

yeah look I would like to know if marc really did get casey kicked out of honda, obviously I've discussed this before and it's very he said she said but yeah it'd be fun to know the truth

this is literally peak gossip because I can't find a source for it but I swear a journalist did say it: the rumour is that marc blocked joan mir from joining honda in 2019. like, I'm only including this because I was explicitly asked for gossip as I just cannot find where it was said... but it is something that is. out there. and... again, just curious. like I buy it, but also it could be bullshit!

on a similar note, did he ever make clear to honda he didn't want either vinales or rinsy on his team circa 2016? was it just a vibe in the paddock or was this an actual demand from marc?

speaking of!! the whole thing about alzamora basically rigging the moto3 teammate situation between rinsy and alex marquez to ensure the latter won the title that year. what was that all about, how far did they go there

switching to valentino now. this doesn't quite fit the remit of the question because it IS something I've investigated. and my conclusion is basically a big *shrug*

did valentino block casey from joining yamaha in either 2005 or 2006, and did he attempt to block jorge?

there are completely contradictory sources on the timeline here that do make me feel like there's a chance yamaha was just fucking with casey at the very least in 2006 and valentino had fuck all to do with it, which a recent interview from casey did actually hint at too... he made it sound like maybe yamaha was just using him to try to drive down the price of another rider (which would then presumably be jorge)

I just want to know! and the thing is, it was a matter of open paddock discussion that valentino blocked casey (jorge explicitly references it in in 2007), but something doesn't quite add up between what jorge, casey, colin edwards, articles from the time and lin jarvis have said on the subject! my current pet theory is that valentino blocked casey in 2005 from joining the satellite yamaha team in 2006 (weirdly casey doesn't really imply valentino was responsible for this one in his autobiography, but whatever) but NOT in 2006 (casey does imply valentino was responsible here, you see my problem). and yamaha was fucking around with all four of valentino, casey, jorge and edwards in late 2006/2007. but. yeah. I have unanswered questions

the entire 'alex marquez blocked from yamaha' situation.... again. something is off there. you know the story from late last year about how he was blocked in 2019 from joining the petronas team in 2021? this completely threw me, because there was an entirely different story about this YEARS back in 2018!! I initially assumed the two stories were about the same event, but it can't have been! one's him being blocked in 2019 for 2021, one's him being blocked in 2018 for 2019

from the descriptions of both there's also no confusing them. the 2018 story has to be about the 2018 contract cycle because that's quite literally when it was published, and the 2023 story has to be about the 2019 contract cycle because it explicitly references the space fabio would create by moving to the factory team for 2021, which obviously wouldn't make sense before fabio's actual rookie season. like they have to be about different stories

and in that same 2018 story, marc said that back in 2016 lin jarvis told him no marquez would be joining yamaha:

again, this was in 2018!!

plus, he did say back in 2016 that he'd spoken to jarvis, which kinda backs up this is a conversation that did happen and marc isn't just misremembering the timeline/lying (the notion of marc joining yamaha in 2017 is fantastic, what an absolutely horrendous idea):

now what marc says in 2018 about his conversation with lin jarvis is very similar to petronas yamaha boss razali saying in 2023 that he'd been told by yamaha no marquez was allowed at yamaha. suggests that this is a thing that did happen!!

but again... razali was told that in 2019... after marc had already been told the same thing three years before that, and the exact same deal had already been blocked one year earlier... does nobody else think this is weird?? like, I'm not saying yamaha hq covered themselves in glory here, but is it not a little strange the satellite yamaha squad had basically almost signed a contract with the younger marquez again without checking in with yamaha, just ONE YEAR after this same contract had already been blocked???

again this isn't actually gossip because I'm apparently the only person going ?? about this but I'll say it: ??

kinda been annoying me since december last year, like I know it doesn't matter but I'm just curious about it! why's nobody else talking about the 2018 story!

idk my best guess here is that petronas yamaha was faffing about and playing weird games with the factory team, that the deal was never as likely to happen as they made it sound to the marquez camp. zero proof, that's me spreading rumours yeah... time to create some of my own unfounded gossip

(also of course I'm curious if valentino did have any actual involvement in this. like if lin jarvis was telling marc this in the year of our lord 2016, I'm assuming valentino didn't have to explicitly say to jarvis that 'inviting marc to the team for 2017' wasn't exactly high on his christmas wish list. it is interesting that marc frames it as jarvis making this about. like. all the marquez's way back in 2016, and again, would this really have been on valentino's radar at the time? that feels a bit...? alex marquez was thirteenth in that moto2 season? would certainly be very... thorough for valentino to already have had that particular talk with jarvis)

(mind u there's a fun moment in a 2019 presser where valentino is sitting between the two marquez brothers and the younger marquez is being asked about his contract situation, the implication being he'd had a motogp deal and no longer had a motogp deal. and he's answering and marc's doing his freak stare and valentino is Right There sitting between them... I <3 mess)

man did valentino actually ever fucking block anyone from joining his manufacturer #notmygoat. I still think he didn't know about jorge until the deal was basically done, had nothing to do with the younger marquez, at most blocked casey the one time but then yamaha wasn't actually seriously intending on signing casey in 2006 and was just using it as a play in their jorge negotiations, which.... idk. bit disappointing if true icl. I hope he blocked someone, I'll say it

(also. okay. I don't want to sound awful here because I do have a lot of sympathy for baby!casey but. ignoring the morality for a second, I do LOVE the idea that valentino blocked casey from getting a satellite yamaha seat fresh off his 250cc runner up season because it would conclusively prove valentino did ABSOLUTELY rate casey!! like he didn't even want casey to come close to being his teammate!! not even a sniff at his data!!) (genuinely this is the rumour I'm choosing to believe, I know there's a chance valentino didn't successfully block anyone and was just a complete flop but I want the 2005 one to be true. it really adds something to the rivalry idk... like ugh valentino saw how dangerous casey was proper early when much of the paddock wasn't yet convinced... cute)

moving on

there was a rumour in 2015 that valentino approached dani after aragon to complain about how sturdy his defence was, like moaning about denying him points and shit. now, there's exactly one article about this in marca that is the sole origin point for the rumour, and it says that valentino also interrupted a honda party after phillip island to complain to marc. this does not match up at all with anything either marc or valentino have said since then - and would mean you have to believe that marc wasn't actually blindsided by that presser... also feels a bit unlikely we would have heard NOTHING from any other source if vale was really gatecrashing a honda party

of course, neither dani nor valentino have spoken about this supposed post-aragon 2015 meeting either, not even when dani was kinda accusing valentino of hypocrisy during sepang 2015, but I suppose you could say maybe dani's just not the type of guy to bring it up again. however.... I do reckon occam's razor kinda applies here and if one of these stories is bullshit then they probably both are, plus it's not like marca is exactly a neutral source. still would love to be certain!! instinctively I don't really think that's valentino's style at all, but of course it'd be intriguing if the story were true because it'd be a sign of how 2015 kinda messed with him. but I still feel 2015 is more about him falling back on past tools he'd mostly discarded - rather than, like, acting wildly out of character, which again... well, this brings us back to how that kind of behaviour isn't really valentino's style. basically, I don't buy it, but that's kinda why I am so curious about it? because I feel like it would be really interesting and quirky if he had actually done that. does this make any sense

speaking of, again this doesn't really count because I did kinda investigate it last year.... but you know when valentino in that podcast referenced a conversation with marc around the time of sepang 2015, where marc stared blankly at him? I have a hunch about when that conversation happened, want to know if it's right. this also isn't really 'gossip' because this is a conversation I'm having with myself but

y'know when bez was injured on the ranch late-ish last year? a bunch of journalists pointed out how hush hush they were about what actually happened to bez - like they repeatedly drew attention to that because god knows THEY love some gossip lol. which probably means nothing, but I'm curious what the journalists' theory here is, like do they think it was an embarrassing injury?? OR. look. I suppose the conspiracy theory would be that pecco caused it (obviously accidentally!!) and everyone at the ranch knew it'd be a terrible look if they admitted that because of the whole title fight situation. call me casey stoner because those dots are not real and definitely have not been connected

okay, you know how there were rumours in the spanish tabloids bez said some real ugly stuff to marc at valencia last year, and bez didn't directly address it but freaked a little and did a sort of blanket denial that he'd said anything that bad? I don't actually think he did tbh, but again. would just like to check!

while we're already on bez, there was one report that the switch to aprilia was partly motivated by marc to factory ducati. again, not entirely sure I buy that this would factor into his thinking beyond the obvious 'this means the route to that factory ducati seat looks even more closed than it already did' angle'.... it's very much down my list of priorities but I'd quickly confirm/deny it if given the chance yeah

that's all for now lol

[trashlie]

ILY FP 258

I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.

Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.

I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!

That's enough rambling, let's jump in.

There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.

But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.

A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.

This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.

I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.

There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.

As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.

Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.

And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.

How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).

He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.

He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.

And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;

For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.

I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...

Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who  has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.

But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.

I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.

I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.

And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.

Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.

[maryasmorevna]

why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip

[talentforlying]

priest: i don't, ah, quite know what to say to you. if you are in such terrible danger, why are you taking it all so calmly? constantine: hmh! i dunno, father. i had a bloke beaten to a pulp earlier this evening. that sound calm to you? priest: you did what...? constantine: i must've been off me bleedin' rocker. i've never done anything like it before in me life, y'know?

constantine: but there's header gets his guts blown out, and george is stickin' his head in the noose, and helen gets ... jesus, then friggin' sarah bites me head off — ! everything's coming to bits in me hands and it's so easy to just see red and now, shit, they could've killed the tosser for all i know! and now i'm just like the bastards i've hated all me life! kill him! fire him! close them down! piss all over him! screw you, i can do whatever i want! i so much as blink and you're dead, pal! i'm in charge!! ...

constantine: 'scuse me, father. i'm always like this when i don't get me own way. — hellblazer #81, "rake at the gates of hell pt. 4"

babygirl you are just....so, sooooo offputting. (and grieving, and guilty, and terrified, but yeah: offputting.)

anyway, it's issues like this one that remind me why i kind of hesitate over some of the retcons in the recent spurrier runs, like the one with him now having opened dream's pouch of sand and stolen some before they even met. because like, it's easy enough to look at john constantine now — with 70 years of worst possible choices and unresolved trauma crystallizing underneath his skin to cover up all the soft, hopeful bits where he's used to getting hit — and assign him arbiter of ill intentions, magus of wasted potential, saint of shit choices, but man . . . he was new to this, once. he was still new to this 80 issues in.

80 issues in, and he's not used to losing friends yet; he even has time enough between catastrophes to grieve each individual one. still has enough left to live for at this stage to necessitate running and hiding, instead of bodily throwing himself at the problem like he learns to later, or sitting apathetically by to do nothing except smoke and watch the world fall apart when he finally gives up. fuck, he still apologizes.

and you're telling me this guy, this soppy wet cat motherfucker hiding from the devil in a church basement, so guilty over not knowing what happened to the guy that he paid people (paid chas, so chas could pay people) to attack that the bottle he's holding in this scene isn't even his second or third........this guy's past, more innocent self lied right to the face of DREAM OF THE ENDLESS and got away with it?

hm. i just don't know about all that.

[stuworbutwitheds]

This might be a hot take(?) but i do like how Eddy become more grumpy as the show went between seasons

Of course he is more mean and kinda more aggressive with his friends.

But i think it's a great way to show how trauma can affect your personality, especially when it comes to physical abuse. Not every child that suffers like that is quiet and shy, some of them can mirror the bad traits of their abuser and they're just as valid to get love and support.

[seiwas]

a good cry always does wonders