#idk for what i don't watch football but there are videos of it on my tl

[dellovestorant]

Ok let's address Jamie Chadwick's comments because ofc this discourse continues. It took me 7 hrs to comprehend what she actually said sue me. I'm tired, it's week 13/13 of uni.

The second part of her response is true no doubt about it. Mercedes don't NEED to split the upgrades between both cars. They haven't in years to my knowledge and so Monaco was a first for a lot of fans. McLaren splits their upgrades, so do Aston and Williams to give a couple examples. Mercedes just never needed to because their performance was always to a standard they didn't need to rush the upgrades on one car. Now they do. The drivers themselves have questioned why they always wait for both parts to be ready (source: see Shov's answer in Merc's Monaco debrief). It has been said many many times and proven they had two different front wings in Monaco. There's no need for her to speculate on whether or not Lewis had the upgrades. He didn't. Now this article was modified yesterday (29/05) but idk when it was originally written because it only talks about qualifying and nothing about his response after the race 🤷‍♀️. Either way we already saw the different front wings on Friday.

But Lewis should be giving his hats off to George. Maybe not in so many words but the shady comments followed by a smirk does not help things whatsoever. He very well knows how his fans react online, he knows the way certain accounts write things. However full judgement is on hold for now because technically (and I really mean technically there's so many nuances i could go into but I won't rn) this is the first time he's reacted like this so it honestly just could be adrenaline. Although backing it up with more shady comments after the race doesn't help his case.

Keep an eye on it or don't but if there is this much discourse over a bloody front wing because someone can't answer a question with just a straight answer I wish everyone good luck dealing with stuff after the summer break.

[honeyydrunk]

nct are such fraternity boy college athletes fuckboys coded it's insane !! everyone i see a video of those men with the homosexual tendencies, vaping addiction, and their athletic garments, it really only cements this theory. their disography and music videos add to this too 😔✋ u know 90's love, universe (let's play ball), alley oop, bad alive eng ver.

can imagine them walking around this elite prestigious campus all loud and obnoxious. they know everyone is looking at them and want to fuck them too. they're chronic drinkers, vapers, cheaters, fuckboys. what would get most students expelled, they do on a tuesday afternoon.

nct are mostly made up of foreigners right? watch them walk around the campus as rich international students, some are here on academic or athletic scholarships they don't need. everything they own is designer. playing the 'sorry my korean isn't so good, can you help me?' card, and what they want help with is you sucking their dick.

the korean members aren't any better. they're every single horrible stereotype you hear of korean hongdae fuckboys. will come up to you all sweet and pretty, but they're horrid.

cw for under the cut: they are toxic males

can literally imagine haechan vaping on the college campus, moaning in the back of the class obnoxiously, and pulling the thing where he jokingly asks for your number ALL THE TIME. going to college parties and getting wasted after 3 drinks idk 🤷 ,,, he'd be so whiny and teasing too. bc obviously he's a rude BITCH but he's so pretty and whiny and flirtatious. he's fucking everything in sight, absolute whore!! his body count is triple his age. he'd genuinely try to suck one of his friends' dick and claim it doesn't mean anything because he has clothes on !! 😔✋ he'd be stroking his dick while you're in the room, whimpering your name. the type to get on his knees and beg for any kind of attention from you..

mark lee starting off being a cute college boy canadian transfer but becomes the NOTORIOUS korean pastor's son fuckboy in like the span of 3 months. he'll act real nice, and that's because he is real nice. being super sweet and asking if you want to get coffee with him and study. and he's so good with his words you'll think that's all it is. but then of course, since he's so good with his words he'll have you blushing and giggling as he takes you back to his apartment and gets your clothes off. talking yapping so much you don't even realise what he has you doing, that you're just another girl he's pulled. he'll still be whispering when his face is in your pussy. telling you how easily you cum. "dang girl, wait a lil' can't you?" implying you're the whore,

YUTA yuta is the entire campus crush. the star football ⚽️ player and the rockstar vocalist in a band. has sex with all the groupies that come to his concerts. he's dragging people up on stage to shotgun them while the guitar break plays. absolute heartbreaker. would definitely kick the ball to your head so that when it hits you, he has to go over check if you're alright, take you up to the nurse and wait with you. he is such a liar, it genuinely hurts. lying all the time and making up words and stories left and right. but he smells like cherries and watery perfume !! he tastes like it too. you'll be coming to all his garage concerts just to see if you'll be the one he takes backstage to fuck after. he's like a god, half the time you don't even realise he's a student like the rest of you. he's just an angel sent to have fun and fuck or smth.

jaemin nah he's horrid. he'll cheat on you, and with his cute smile you'll forgive him instantly. 😔✋ he'll spend a little cash dress you in designer, make you cum until you faint, and tell you how beautiful and perfect you are for him. he will genuinely have you thinking those girls meant nothing to him, theyre just a way to vent his stress and you're the only one he loves. and then bro will say he can't stay the night, as he needs to wake up early for training. you agree, obviously. and he left for another girl's house to fuck her too. when you met him he smelled so sweet, and it was someone else's perfume. each of his girls swear they're his favourite of his, and one day he's planning fucking them all in the same room.

JOHNNY SUH? he would abuse the american transfer student status. he walks around without a shirt, soaking wet, and never get pulled up. he's rich too, got bands on his wrist and multiple cars. going on holidays overseas every chance he get and hosting parties every weekend. when you get drunk at one of them, almost falling off the balcony, someone will come up and help you to a chair. he'll take real good care of you, going above and beyond. so you can't let this guy leave when he's everything you've ever wanted. so you pull yourself onto him and ride him while the party rages on inside. make sure his dick feels so good he'll ask for your number. but you don't know that you're the fifth girl who's thrown herself at him that night.

taeyongie ^-^ he's the prettiest guy you've ever seen. bros too sweet and shy to be handing out with the rest of the neo WHORES. he's the leader of a lot of clubs but he mainly sits in cute little cafes. genuinely he seemed too adorable? to be considered the 'leader' of some horrific ahh fuckboys. until you check twitter and you see someone's reposted his MANY MULTIPLE HE HAS A LOT sex tapes. he's surrounded by ridiculously hot guys and girls, and they're passing him around like a joint, and he's begging to be humiliated. they're making him cum so much he crying. he's stronger than most of them but he's letting himself be thrown around like a doll. absolutely wrecked. looking in the camera with pretty black eyes and a slurred voice before someone shoves a cock back in this throat "am i pretty?" zhong chenle is the epitome of the chinese international student stereotype. he's almost never there, never takes off his sunglasses. he has several of those douyin type baddies trailing after him. "you have nice collarbones and pretty eyes, i like. what's your instagram?" he'll be talking with his friend renjun about what yacht he should buy during class. he can buy your affection simply because he's just that rich. will shove his black card down his pants and tell you there's only one way to get it. buys rolex watches so that he can have it on while he fingers you. dresses you in diamonds and he doesn't want to be paid back in cash. qian kun is there on an academic scholarship, but he doesn't need it. he's just that good, the school begs to have him attend. he's not a fuckboy in the conventional sense but he's just as nasty. he wants to have the perfect girl for him, to bring back to his family. he'll look for the most naive but academic girl he can. he's a manipulator. he's trying to mold you into what he wants. he'll replace your entire wardrobe with designer, but he picked out all the clothes. he'll plan cute dates for you every day, but it's to stop you from hanging out with your skanky friends. he'll buy you a new phone, but he's already added software tech to spy on you. in some essences, even though he's not a fuckboy, he's much worse than one.

jisung, like taeyong, looks so sweet. but he's NASTY. he'll seem too quiet to be hanging out with the rest of the dreamie WHORES. so you don't mind sitting next to him in your lecture. but he's just a mix of all of dream. he's good with his words like mark, and he'll have you agreeing to meet at his place EASY. he's too cute to refuse like haechan and jaemin. and then the renjun part hits, silent and sneaky, he'll be doing everything to make you think you're coming on to him. once he finally has you, he'll make a mess of you like a feral animal, the way you've heard jeno fucks. and you realise he's just like the rest of the dreamies, you shouldn't have thought otherwise. he might actually be worse than all of them.

tell me if u want me to make these like a full post or add more characters IM SO CRAZY DELULU RN SORRY xx !! 💋

[zombvic]

TINDER IRL PART one (harry lewis x reader)

summary : in which y/n gets invited to the sidemen tinder irl (usa edition) and meets a certain brit and their instant friendship slowly progresses into something bigger

face claim : no one right now (kendall jenner later)

notes : reader is like a 2019 ICON like disstracks against the paul brothers, ricegum etc.. now STILL doing youtube but on a much more lowkey basis. also im sorry but i had to add that the reader is an f1 fan IM SORRY (im locked in as an f1 girlie) 😵 yall im not american or even close to a native english speaker (#slavicstruggles) but i tried making the readeramerican cause i tried to do the american la gf x british bloke bf xx god bless 'merica RAAAAAH. also i used lines from like all the videos and made my own cause the lines from this video were insane.. last also, don't be a ghost reader 🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️

pairings : harry lewis x reader , sidemen x platonic!reader , all the other youtuber in the videos x platonic!reader

warnings : drugs (ketamine joke)

You got invited to the SIDEMEN Tinder In Real Life youtube video. You are acutely aware to what the Sidemen are and you've seen their videos before. Now to be fair, the genres between your channel and their channels were pretty different. The Sidemen were known for football challenges, those 100$ vs 100,000$ challenges and other things with a similar vibe. You on the other hand, you did vlogs, lifestyle hack and tips, in your time you've achieved some disstracks and occasionally broke down some formula 1 grand prix weekend.

The moment you saw the instagram dm from the Sidemen official account you weren't sure how to react. Should you be excited? scared? worried? yeah.. all. It was the Sidemen, Logan Paul, Mike and George (idk who Mike and George but who cares).

Eventually you accepted the offer and waited till the day you had to be "picked up" by kinda random men for 5 minutes straight. The day came, you got dressed for the video shoot, they made you wait with the other girls until they called your name and then you walked in.

"Hi, I'm (your name). I'm 24 and i'm from Newark, New Jersey" (go devs go) You've practiced that line like 50 times before you left, not because you wanted to come out of this video with a new man but because you didn't want to embarrass yourself lmao.

"Hi, I'm Vikk. I'm 26 and are you from Tennessee, because you're the only ten i see"

"Would've been funny if i hadn't just said im from New Jersey dude, no sorry"

"Hello, I'm Logan-"

"No. Complicated history" you said as you swiped left.

"One chance please"

"Alright, BUT u gotta watch it tho"

"Okay. SO. If i were a pizza delivery guy, i'd be giving YOU the tip"

"Ew no sorry lmfao.. that was weak as fuck"

"Alright wow, Hello, I'm Tobi. I'm 31 and they say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?"

"Sure go on.. yes. I love that"

Hello, My name is Ethan and let only latex stand between our love.

"Yeah thats funny.. alright, go on"

"Yo, I'm KSI. I'm 30 and you know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Well.. Not in my case."

"Lmao, yes go on"

“Hello, I'm Mike. I'm 37 and girl, you don't need no vibrator when you got this Pickled Dick.”

"Jesus Christ. No, get out"

"Hi, My name is Simon and.. Simon says you want to swipe right"

"Lmao. I love that, Yes"

"Sup, I'm George and I’m peanut butter. You’re jelly. Let’s have sex"

"Jeeesus, that’s crazy bro... no"

"Hello, My name is Josh and I find your lack of nudity disturbing"

"No, I'm so sorry" (guys i love freya sm i couldnt do this)

"Uhm, Hello. I'm Harry. I'm 26 years old and what do ketamine and your underpants have in common?"

"I don't know" you said looking at the blonde-ish man confused.

"I'd like to sniff them both."

The whole room fell into a laughter, you included. "Yes"

"BUT I GET A NO?" Logan exclaims. "What a scam"

WHY DID YOU SAY NO?

(NO : Logan, Josh, Mike, Vikk and George)

"For Logan i think we left this in 2019 and rightfully so. For Josh i dont really know tbh, i just thought his line couldve been better. Mike, i think you know why i said no. Vikk.. Im gonna be honest i dont even remember what youve said but im sure i had my reasons and George, you couldve been waaaaaay smoother mate.. tough luck"

YALL. this is part one because i cant be arsed and put it all right here right now 😁😁😁

[christelightlavo]

*throws my football at you* PERSONALITY TEST TIME.

1) The last Podcast you listened to? with reasons.

My answer : Rizz, marry, kill by recreyo on Spotify while completing my books. Because that's how I get through the writting for college.

2) what was the last fanfic you read? What did you like about it?

My answer : https://archiveofourown.org/works/40337868 , it's from a series and it's about Atsushi and Akutagawa in which Ryuu keeps meeting Beast beneath the blue night. I like it because it makes sense character wise while also adding to what happens in the canon, while also being out of character with its own thing.

3) You favorite discord server?

My answer : the private only Gotham server that is between me and my friends.

4) open Pinterest and show the first think it recommends you!

My answer :

5) If your comfortable, show me something from your notes app!

My answer : [ Jennette wasn't nervous. She was petrified. Yes, she was pretty happy that she was able to follow her plan so smoothly but at the same time wasn't aware she would be around a younger athy so soon. ] < a draft from one of my stories.

6) Show us who you last gave a like on Tumblr! And why?

My answer : https://www.tumblr.com/starlightshadowsworld/764774506366681088/yay?source=share , idk I like most of our banters and their posts. 🤷‍♀

7) Show us a picture that's in your galary that you are proud off/like/are comfortable sharing.

My answer :

8) final question, what was the last YouTube video you watched?

My answer :

*chuckles* here is the FUN PART!

Tag your personal friend : @fandom-stealer

Tag your mom friend : @urlocalbisexualmess-alt

Tag a person you consider mutuals : @starlightshadowsworld

Tag people whose post you like alot : @hannigramislife , @scarecrowspawn

Tag a stranger! Why don't you! : @geodude96

You guys can ignore this post entirely, I am just in a very creative mode for no reason. To the point I continued three of my drafts---

[ddejavvu]

oh friend,, i have so many headcanons,,,

> james potter who is the biggest football/soccer fan, after figuring out what the hell the muggle rules to this silly little ball game are

> sirius black absolutely had a mullet era. i will not be convinced otherwise.

> remus lupin, aka, youtube deep dive video addict. i don’t know why, but that man gives off such “i watch 3hr videos for fun” vibes

> james potter who loves to cook (especially to podcasts? idk, it just makes sense)

> sirius black who can speak five languages fluently, but only these skills when necessary (e.g. helping a confused stranger or flirting)

> remus lupin with a thick welsh accent.

> james potter who never had to wear braces, but had to have his teeth magically fixed at some point (because the boy didn’t always have perfect teeth!)

> sirius black who loves perusing different lipsticks with you, and sometimes wearing them

> remus lupin has a dimple!!!

ugh, i have more absolutely useless and random headcanons that no one needs, so please let me know if you need more 😮‍💨

send me your headcanons!

--

soccer boy james!! mhm, he likes the game but in all honesty he started looking into it just because he thought the ball was pretty <3

men with mullets are my weakness for some fucking reason so yeah i second that <3

remus watches video essays but consider: remus makes video essays. he has such a loyal fanbase and he reports on only the topics most dear to his heart <3 sirius always pops into frame when he's recording

effie taught james how to cook for sure!!!

the rest of the boys don't even know sirius can speak most of those languages until one day he's flirting with someone and he breaks out a different language like it's no problem and they're ????

yes remus who comes back from every summer absolutely unintelligible and sirius and james who can't understand ANYTHING

man james has bad eyesight, bad teeth, WHAT'S NEXT (bad life support !)

omg you two go cosmetics shopping together eeee and he helps you try them on, swatches them on you, kisses your cheek with it on <33

and i kiss remus lupin's dimple every day <3

[n0vazsq]

So American | Arda Güler x Reader

pairing . . . arda guler x singer!songwriter!reader

summary . . . After releasing a new song, the last person (Y/n)'s fans expect to be the special guest at her concert is Arda. Then, they start to speculate that the song is about him. And after they're caught out together, they have no choice but to reveal their relationship

request . . . yes!

word count . . . N/A

warnings . . . none!

faceclaim . . . olivia rodrigo // reader is born in america so she is legally considered american but can be any ethnicity you want!

alexavia yaps . . . omg i finally got to start writing this!! tysm for requesting this ada <33 mwah mwah <3 ALSO IDK ANYTHING ABT REAL MADRID OTHER THAN THE PLAYERS SO IDK WHOS FRIENDS WITH WHO OR WHO HATES WHO! legit put my blood sweat and tears into this so i hope you like it!

yourusername

liked by sabrinacarpenter, ardaguler, vinijr and 2.1M others

yourusername so american is finally out!! thank you to everyone who helped me write this song <3 and a special thanks to my muse, star boy. i couldn't have done it without you, love you so so much!!

click to view all comments

username i can't get this song out of my head mother y/n slayed

username A LOVE SONG OMG??????

username WE HAVE BEEN FEED

username ARDA AND VINI IN THE LIKES???

username didn't kylian say that they always play her songs before practice??

username omg yeah and arda said that its his dream to meet her

username manifesting that she turns out to be dating someone from real madrid

sabrinacarpenter playing this on repeat

yourusername i legit can't get you out of my head

username y/n please write a song about me i'm waiting

madisonbeer it's so good you don't even understand

yourusername says you? yours songs are always blasting in my house

chappellroan couldn't have asked for a better song

yourusername couldn't have asked for a better friend

ynupdates

liked by ynsings13, ynngossip_, username and 429k others

ynupdates at yesterday's so american madrid concert y/n mentioned a special guest! who do you think it is? can it be star boy, or is it someone else?

click to view all comments

username I WAS THERE YESTERDAY!!! I SAW A BUNCH OF PEOPLE THERE

username omg me too!! i was near the stage and i saw some footballers and this guy called carlos signs? idk what his name was

username i was a bit higher up but i zoomed in with my phone and saw arda guler, kylian mbappe, vinicus jr and jude bellingham

username who's idea do yall think it was to go to the concert??

username my bet is on arda or vini

username my friends' cousin was there and he said that y/n was waving at the front of the crowd a lot

username i'm watching the concert from a pirated video and omg she is!! idk who it is tho </3 the visibility is so bad

username GUYS what if the special guest was special guestS and it's the real madrid team??

username that actually wait work what??

ardaguler

liked by yourusername, vinijr, ynupdates and 827k others

ardaguler thanks for the invite y/n! we really loved the concert ❤ one of the best concerts ever tagged: yourusername

click to view all comments

username EXCUSE ME?? THE HEART?? THE BACKSTAGE PHOTO??? THE PROXIMITY?? IM DEAD

username how did he get SO close to y/n im shaking

yourusername it was a pleasure to have you there <3

ardaguler it was OUR pleasure to be there

username IS HE THE SPECIAL GUEST?!?!??!

username WaIT WAIT WAIT THE BACKSTAGE PICTURE IM QUAKING IN MY BOOTS WTF

username IM CRYING WHY HIM AND NOT ME

vinijr thank you for posting us! really appreciate the picture you chose of me

judebellingham did you not understand that compared to y/n we are specks of dust?

kylianmbappe he got 2 pictures of us together and 20 thousand pictures of y/n in a split second

ardaguler no problem!

username not arda taking 2 pictures with his friends and 20k of y/n HELP

username i mean i would too if i saw y/n live and she was infront of me

yngossip

liked by ynupdates, ynsings13, username and 981k others

yngossip what do you guys think? tagged: yourusername, realmadridcf

click to view all comments

username and then y/n said "Can't have a conversation if it's not all about you" AND GUESS WHAT?? Y/N KEEPS YAPPING ABOUT HOW GOOD OF A FOOTBALLER ARDA IS AND HOW SHE'D LOVE TO MEET HIM

username she's only 18 but a lyrical genius gotta give to her

username AND THE FIRST THING SHE SaYS IS "Drivin' on the right-side road" AND SPAIN DRIVES ON THE RIGHT sIDE

username arent yall overthinking this a bit??

username MISS Y/N YOU ARE NOT SLICK

username WHEN WILL THIS BE OVERRRR

username can she just hard launch already??

username y/n likes to torture us she wont

yourusername

liked by ardaguler, chappellroan, vinijr and 1.2M others

yourusername a teeny tiny clue. ps: he's like a poem i wish i wrote

click to view all comments

username I HATE YOU Y/N

username WE DEMAND A HARD LAUNCH

username am i seeing right or is that not ardas reflection on the boat?? (avia: lets just pretend theres a reflection on the boat)

footballwags

liked by ynngossip_, wag.gossip, username and 201k others

footballwags arda guler and y/n l/n spotted around madrid. sources say that so american by y/n is about arda. what are your opinions and thoughts?

click to view all comments

ynngossip_ hi there! just wanted to say that some fans spotted arda at all of y/ns concerts! even the concerts from her EP tour.

rmadridtea. y/n was also spotted in real madrid games since 2023. some fans claim that they spotted her in fenerbahce games

username so its confirmed? its real?

username we just have to wait for their hard launches / conformation

username if this is true im gonna cry like my two fav ppl getting together??

ardaguler

liked by yourusername, sabrinacarpenter, vinijr and 1.1M others

ardaguler guess we got exposed. she's so american and also the love of my life tagged: yourusername

comments for this post have been closed

yourusername

liked by ardaguler, judebellingham, sabrinacarpenter and 2M others

yourusername i can finally declare my love publicly, my star boy. i'd call you pretty but that's not enough to describe you tagged: ardaguler

comments for this post have been closed

ardaguler

liked by yourusername, vinijr, madisonbeer and 1.1M others

ardaguler i present to you, the best girl in the world. couldn't have asked for anyone better tagged: yourusername

comments for this post have been limited

kylianmbappe congrats to you two!

vinijr you finally will stop whining about not being able to post her

judebellingham young love, vini, young love

madisonbeer my fav couple <3

yourusername and i couldn't ask for a better muse and boyfriend. lysm <3

ardaguler love you more

yourusername

liked by ardaguler, judebellingham, chappellroan and 3.3M others

yourusername my boyfriend, my bestfriend & the loml. that's the post. i love you more than anything. tagged: ardaguler

comments for this post have been limited

ardaguler impossible because i love you more

yourusername no

ardaguler yes

vinijr you two disgust me

yourusername yet you're always third wheeling

sabrinacarpenter more love songs coming soon??

yourusername very soon. my muse has been giving lots of inspo

madisonbeer cant wait for the new album

yourusername neither can i omg

vinijr

liked by ardaguler, yourusername, judebellingham and 1.7M others

vinijr young love, i suppose. even if i hate third wheeling them, these two are very cute and sweet tagged: ardaguler, yourusername

username MOTHER AND FATHER

username they're so cute it's making me cry

username not vini being the older brother third wheel HELP

username i need this oml

username when will it be my turn??

username my wish in life is this

username STOP THE PICS OF Y/N IN REAL MADRID MERCH VISITING THE MATCHES AND THE PICS OF ARDA AT HER CONCERTS IM GONNA START SOBBING

username my search history rn: "how to get relationship like y/n l/n and arda guler"

judebellingham they're so downbad for each other

kylianmbappe can't wait for a break from arda's simping

madisonbeer the cutest couple ever!!

sabrinacarpenter my wife and her boyfriend

chappellroan the best romance book, 5 stars

ardaguler i love you more than the earth and the stars and the galaxies

yourusername and i love you more than anything to ever exist in the universe and anything beyond the universe

ardaguler you're the best thing that happened to me

yourusername you're the best thing that happened to me too <3

ardaguler love you

yourusername love you more

[ge0rg1ewaa]

"They set it up!" - Neymar jr

A/n : this is so confusing and idk if it makes sense. I just wanted to post something, anything. hope u still enjoy it :)

[Third person pov]

The smell of freshly prepared pasta wafted through the corridors of the apartment. The atmosphere was soothing with a blanket on the couch & a favorite movie on the TV. The setting sun and its last rays were the only thing that could be seen through the window.

Today was Y/n's day off and she decided not to bother going out, to be honest, she wasn't in the mood either. Yesterday, she broke up with her boyfriend of a year and a half because she found out he was cheating on her. She didn't do anything all day. In the morning she went out to do the shopping, but since then she has been at her place, reading the unfinished book and finishing watching the last few episodes of the series she has been bingeing on lately.

After pouring herself a portion of the pasta, she headed to the sofa, taking her phone from the charger. The girl had not yet checked her social media, her phone flooded with messages from Instagram, Twitter and Messenger. There was nothing interesting in the internet world. There were no dramas at the moment, or at least Y/n hadn't run into them. One of the messages was from her boyfriend well ex now, Neymar jr, and read 'I'm really sorry. I promise you, I haven't done anything. You know I would never touch anyone else expect you. I love you. Baby please answer me. ' and stuff like that, but Y/n just blocked him. Less than a minute later, her phone rang. As soon as she saw that it was Neymar, she let him ring, but as soon as she realized that he was not going to give up so easily, she picked up the phone, but remained silent, letting him speak.

"Hi meu amor. I know you are there, but you are silent because you want me to speak, so I will speak and tell you everything. The other night after we won the game we went out for a treat but we got drunk and I don't even know how I got home. I swear to god I don't know the girl who was next to me. They set it up! We haven't done anything, I promise you. I know the pictures you saw don't do justice to my words, but I have a video where she is paid to lie next to me half naked. I'll send it to you so you can make sure too. Eu te amo muito. Eu nunca faria algo assim para te machucar. Você significa muito para mim. [ I love you so much. I would never do anything like that to hurt you. You mean so much to me.]" After he explained everything to her in one breath, Y/n unblocked him to send her the video. And he was right. The girl could be clearly seen haggling for the amount of money and eventually getting it, before taking off her dress and laying down next to the sleeping Neymar. But how did she get into his room?

"You can see for yourself what it's all about. I still don't know how she managed to get into my room and who helped her and why they took pictures, but at least I can rest assured that you know the truth." Neymar sighed, his red eyes filled with tears once again. He doesn't know how he let things get here. Only a day since the love of his life left him, but he doesn't know what is happening around him. At least now that Y/n had let him explain the ugly situation, he hoped she would return to his arms. He missed her, her touch, her kisses, her voice, her laugh, her presence in general. He was so deeply madly in love with her that he was ready to leave his family and end his career for her, and we all know how important family & football are to him.

He was just about to hang up the phone when her soft breaking voice called. "Ney, im so sorry. I should have let you explain earlier, but because of my stubborn head, I didn't and hurt both of us. I wish I could hug and kiss you. I miss you." Y/n said, her voice quiet but understandable. She knows that's not possible because of the miles that separate them every day.

" Se você descer e sair, seu desejo pode se tornar realidade. Se você descer e sair, seu desejo pode se tornar realidade. " [If you go downstairs and go outside, your wish may come true.]" Neymar replied with a small smile that could be heard in his voice.

He was here. He was finally here. Her smile shot across her face. Y/n would finally see him. She was so excited that she didn't even bother to get a jacket and flew down the stairs, opening the front door as quickly as possible. And here in front of her stood Neymar. With his classic smile and different hairstyle. He opened his arms and Y/n ran up and jumped on top of him. Her legs wrapped around his hips, his arms around her back and under her thigh to keep her from dropping to the ground. She nuzzled her face into his neck, smelling his fresh scent & he buried his face in her hair, inhaling her shampoo, which smelled of vanilla and cinnamon.

They pulled back and smashed their lips into each other's. Their lips seemed to be made for each other and fit together like a puzzle. Ney couldn't seem to enjoy Y/n's cherry lip balm & her hands were tangled in his curls.

"I missed you and I'm so sorry I didn't believe you at first." Y/n whispered, forehead pressed against Neymar's.

" Tudo está bem agora. Eu te amo." [ Everything is good now. I love you.]

" Te amo mais." [I love you more.]

[alectricblue]

Saw this tag game on another post and thought I'd do it (idk if I've done it before, maybe something similar, but my answers will be different anyway)

1. Were you named after anyone?

Nope My chosen name (Allister) however, is from a youtuber who has a very cool name and I stole it (Alasdair Beckett-King, very funny videos and he has great hair too). I adapted it a bit so people in Spain would at least have an idea of how to pronounce it at first glance (hopefully) It has nothing to do with any Crowley (which I did not realize was a thing until recently), tho for a bit I named myself AJ like Good Omens Crowley, but I don't like how it sounds in Spanish...

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last month probably

3. Do you have kids?

No. And I don't want any. I don't dislike them, but it's not for me

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Judo, karate and football (the indoors kind). All as a kid/teen. Now my brother and I walk every week day and go up and down stairs (when we remember...) One day I want to try to go to a gym to get some muscle, but not too much, just a bit of definition. Also, I'd enjoy doing rock climbing, but not competitive climbing or anything like that

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Sometimes

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Irl: the way they move their face and hands when they speak, which then I subconsciously use to recognize people, bc I'm a bit face blind Online: the way they choose to express themselves

7. What's your eye color?

Gray/light blue on the outside and artichoke green/lime on the inside

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I like both, but I'd rather watch a happy ending. For scary things I prefer to watch Markiplier's scary games videos

9. Any talents?

I'm VERY good at jigsaw puzzles

10. Where were you born?

East of Spain, by some of the best Mediterranean coasts 😁. I enjoy it here, but one day I'd like to live in the UK, at least for a bit, I think I'd like it there

11. What are your hobbies?

Listening to music, singing, making art (crafting, building, drawing, painting, writing, ...), watching media (shows, panel shows, youtube, twitch), video games (rhythm/dancing, platformer, puzzle... Also minecraft, powerwash sim, potion craft...), going for walks, exercise, learning languages (especially English) If I had any good ones close, I'd go to theatres and museums too. And, if I had money, I'd travel. I'm also slowly learning about taking care of plants

12. Do you have any pets?

Not yet. I'd love to have dogs, cats, frogs, snakes... or anything really. I love animals. But I think cats and frogs would be the best fit for me, considering my personality and current lifestyle I've always wanted a dog, but I've only had a turtle and a hamster

13. How tall are you?

1.63m or 5’3”

14. Favorite subject in school?

Biology and technology

15. Dream job?

Anything that pays me enough to be independent and let me do all my hobbies Although, if I ever have the patience, base skill, and required mental fortitude, I'd go for general robotics and/or prop making (for film and/or theatre)

No pressure tags in no particular order (I tried to tag as many people as I could, but apparently there's a tag limit 😅):

@swamp-communism @they-thespian666 @strongsuits @skelesona @shinekittenace @yeetmewithachainsaw @rockium-z @gordonzola-ramen @vampireopossum @libraryfag @frostytheduck @tetostar @xyrnys @normalscientist @dolltwink @anxi0usgh0st05 @piersgender

@mettatonsass @sinfulauthor @flaretheidiot @sneebles-mcgee @pivotallemonade @aroace-genderfluid-snake @monstrousmaws @satanic-leaf @virtualunease @villowrose @handrazedsun @ceiltheoutcast @atroph1k @entropy-sea-system @abby-cat99928 @maroroque @galaxgay

@realyfroggyfrog @angrysheep @llamaflower @ultrabean @sea-salt-sky @queerestqueertoeverqueer @crowleys-queen @foolishlovers @cassieno @crowleys-hips @argylepiratewd @trianglebird4 @sugarplumanderson @underlilithswings21 @crowleys-bentley-and-plants @healingmyinnerteen

and anyone else that sees this, consider yourself tagged!

[sweetsreverie]

Heyyy Sweet💗, may I please request hc’s of what type of dads the 1 4 1 soldiers would be around/with their children

tysm for requesting this because it made my heart so so happy 🫶🏼

umbrella headcanons: they’re all protective as shit over their kids and don’t bring their work home with them. they never discuss it in front of the little ones.

simon "ghost" riley

realistically, i don't see him ever having children due to his job and his own childhood

BUT... tumblr doesn't need to be realistic hehe

but really, he would be somewhat terrified of parenthood because the last thing he wants is to be like his father

so he's going to do everything he possibly can to be the best father he can be

simon says that he has a cold heart, but i think he could become tender-hearted when he has a child

but also, for a while he honestly has no idea what to do around children

he really tries to keep his voice gentle when he's with them, and he becomes somewhat of a gentle giant when he becomes a dad

he'll never use baby talk with his kids, he'll talk to them like they understand everything he's saying

he would absolutely spoil his kids because he didn't get that as a kid

he's so so protective of them - he always keeps them in his sight when you're away from home and out in public

the monsters under the bed stand no chance against him either!

his kid(s) cling onto him like koalas, or like how kittens will climb up your legs? yeah, just like that. he's a jungle gym to them

john "soap" mactavish

soap is a whole goof of a dad tbh

but he's got the biggest heart

while he can be goofy, he doesn't play about his kid's safety, ever

he'll teach his kid(s) all sorts of scottish slang from the get-go

the kids love when he tells stories and reads from their books - he tries to use different voices for the little characters

soap unironically enjoys watching bluey with the kids

he'll also watch those baby sensory videos with the dancing fruits

when he works out at home, the kids cling to him and refuse to leave him alone despite your efforts

he'll use them as barbells or do push-ups while they pile on his back

if you have a daughter, she always puts her little hair clips in his mohawk

he absolutely leaves them there

he'll be such a proud dad, of everything his kids do

artwork on the fridge, good grades hung up, all that stuff

the type of dad to laugh when his kid curses rather than scold them for it, even though he knows it's wrong

john price

price is probably gonna be the most normal dad on this list

he would also be super protective of his kids, tbh they all are

would probably smoke his cigars outside so the smoke wouldn't be around the kids inside

absolute football dad

if your kids show any sort of interest in it, he's enrolling them for some kids league football

he'll also watch games with them and tell them all about what's going on

also the type to not baby talk his kids tbh

he probably thought he would never have kids so he cherishes them so much when they're born

he gets them hats that match his and they love wearing them

he had to start trimming his beard when the baby started to pull on it

he loves doing things outside with them, whether it's tending to a little herb garden or going for a walk

kyle "gaz" garrick

gaz is also pretty normal tbh

he's so eager to be a good dad, and he did so much research online about kids

he's an absolute sweetie and softie for his kids

boy or girl, he likes to do their hair whenever he's home

i feel like he would be a home-made baby food enthusiast, idk why

he loves reading to his kids!! they have so many books, i can see him starting a book with them and reading a chapter or so before bed whenever he's home

he's a dad that always tells his kids that he loves them unconditionally, and they never have a doubt about his love

he thought that kid leashes were stupid until he needed to get one for his kid

he'd also unironically watch kids shows with the kids

he heard that cocomelon is bad so that's a no-go

tag list: @ho3forghost @juggernaunt @shellfishb34ch @redpool @madamepozum

[longeyelashedtragedy]

oooh modric?

L U K I T A

(i'm already both struggling with the concept of finding just one favorite photo of him, but at the same time i have a very classic go-to hahaha)

favorite thing about them: uh literally everything? if i was raising or helping to raise a boy, i would use luka as a positive role model for non-toxic masculinity. i just adore him in every way. he's not perfect, but he seems like such a good person who operates with intelligence and humility--at the same time he's tough and no pushover! i love his floofy hair and elf face combined with his Manly Voice and best abs in football (and 3rd nipple vibes hahaha...he has a birthmark on his Tits.). plus, his wife Vanja is the queen of wags and in the family photos they seem to be raising their kids to be normal kids--they're not always posed in instagram ready outfits and express their own senses of style instead of wearing cutesy matching outfits (looking at you rakitic family your kids are TOO OLD for that). his football is so sexy and exciting to watch. i will watch his rm highlights and it's just so!!! imagine a lukita & lamps midfield linkup!

also the #old #man #way he #UsesHashtags #😎

also also i like that he is older than i am...i feel like footballers are all 5 years old these days lol

least favorite thing about them: he plays for one of my least favorite teams :( so i never watch him play, lol. but at least rm (as far as i know) treats him decently as an Ancient Player

favorite line: omg...maybe when he cursed out a slovenian ref, "jebem ti mater slovensku u pičku" (def spelled that wrong) ORRR uh the classic when he wrote "I am fucked" in the comments of his ancient insta post

brotp: like...everyone he meets? luka and kova, luka and carli (tho luka ćorluka is def a valid OTP), luka and MARCELO...idk he just seems to bring joy and sunshine to everyone he meets. no wonder his mom called him "my sun" at one of his awards ceremonies.

notp: with messi

otp: i mean....i mean...

R A K I D R I Ć. my first otp of two footballers. it's everything. after all these years i think it still might be my favorite football ship. it gives lamperry in a sense (though lamperry also gives šejan...Interesting) the way Luka makes ivan feel so good and bright and happy and like he belongs (until it all went to shit.). i wish they could have been together somehow, even though vanja is the rare wag i 100% love lol.

(runnerup: modramos)

random headcanon: uhh...lukita is one of those guys who i think is pretty straight, but has some exceptions.

unpopular opinion: STOP CALLING HIM A FUCKING LESBIAN/DYKE i will literally. what the fuck. it ain't cute and saying a man isn't a man bc he has qualities you like? or somehow associate with femininity? is...don't contribute to the problem guys. thank god i haven't seen much of this recently but like...gurguhg it gets my blood Boiling

song i associate with them: ok this is weird...but the only song that makes me think of lukita is "sin pijama" by becky g/natti natasha, and this is only because dejan had an insta video where he's driving to see luka and singing that song into the camera...apparently he wants to see luka in his bedroom without pajamas? modren agenda

favorite picture of them: actually. i'm going into my Archives and posting two random ones

feat. ms VANJA BOSNIĆ herself

[erenslovah]

DISLIKE?

Part One Part Two

Summary:You're a famous and great footballer,one of the greatest footballers you had a crush on turned out to be a complete ass,something will change maybe?

A/n:Nah cuz Idek,I started writing this at 5:55 am until 7:20 and I went to school and I just finished it,Idk if this gets attention I'm probably going to make a part 2

WARNINGS:Cursing,hate,trapping,blood,Jude being a complete ass😻😻

Jude and his family were watching TV,there you were,you were in an interview,Denise really liked you,and jude's father too.

Jude finds you annoying,his ex broke up with him cuz she was insicure because she knew Denise liked you alot and a few people shipped you with Jude,and he has developed hatred for you.

He keeps seeing edits of you,and videos everywhere,you were very kind hearted and nice,you were good looking too,like alot,people recently were going crazy for you,even his teammates and alot of his friends.

You were a footballer,a great footballer.

He keeps seeing you everywhere,his thoughts were cut off when the interviewer asked you what you thought about Jude Belligham.

'He's a great footballer,I like that he achieved great things at such a young age,I hope he can go on with his career and become more famous and a professional,he has a big potential'.

Denise turned to her son smiling at him 'Why do you hate her?She's so sweet,she's the one for you Jude'.

'No,she's annoying,she's probably doing that for attention,or to seem sweet'

'Jude' his mother glared at him,she turned to the TV when the interviewer asked you what you thought about Richarlison.

'I mean,he's my husband I don't know what y'all on'

Denise turned to Jude 'You better make a move'.

Jude was on the field,he was annoyed and nervous,why?YOU WERE COMING HERE.

You're so annoying and such a pick me,he couldn't understand why his teammates were exited to see you.After a few minutes you came and his teammates were so happy,they all greeted you happily,and they called his name and told him to come and greet you.

'Mate come here!' Phil souted.

Jude came even if he didn't want to,there you were,ugly as alwyas trying to have all the attention thinking that everyone wanted you.

He looked at you and you didn't spare him a glance.

'Hey I'm here' he said and you turned your head towards him 'Oh,hi I didn't see you sorry' you greeted him,and he only looked at you,and then he scoffed and went away.You were shocked,why was he acting like that?

The guys feeling the tension suggested you guys played for a while,they started to decide what you were gonna play,but your mind was on Jude,you didn't know what was wrong.

'Jude?' He lifted his head,scoffing when he saw you 'Are you okay?Something's wrong?Me and the guys are playing,you want to play with us?'

'No' he stood up and went away,he exited the field,you followed him.

'Did I say something wrong?What's wrong?'

'Can you shut the fuck up?For one minute,please shut your mouth,god you're so annoying,go annoy someone else,not me,I'm not blind and I won't feel for your plan to make everyone obsessed with you,literally shut the fuck up,you like whoring around so much,huh?'

You were still,not moving confused and on the verge of tears,you didn't know why he snapped like that on you.He noticed the tears in your eyes.

'Aww you're gonna cry now?Fucking crybaby' he said whilst pinning you to the wall behind you,you started crying,not being able to contain yourself,he looks down at you disgusted,he feels satisfied.He's proud but he feels kinda..Guilty?

'Stop crying' you started wiping the angry tears.

'You look even more ugly' you wanted to beat the shit out of him,but you just couldn't knowing that you'll feel bad about it later even if he deserves it.

He let's go of you after a while,you feel sick,meanwhile he goes back in the field.

'Mate did you see [name]?'

'She's inside doing something' he said,after a few minutes you came back,no signs of you crying visible on you face.

You guys started playing,Jude saw how well his teammates treated you,they never treated his ex like this.He's furious.When you catch the ball,he runs to you tackling you,you fell.Hard,blood started coming out of your nose and your mouth,his teammates rush to you

After taking care of you,his teammates confronted him,why was he acting like that?

'What the fuck mate?What's wrong?'

Jude didn't know what to say,he would've cried,if you didn't protect him.

'Guys he didn't mean to,it happens sometimes,it's football,I'm fine really'

The day ended and everyone was going back home,everyone was leaving and you took it as an opportunity to go talk to Jude.

'Jude?I'm sorry for what happened earlier,I hope you're fine'

You're so irritating.

'Shut up,I didn't need your help'

He grabbed you and trapped you between him and a locker.His face was so close to yours,you looked in his eyes.

Your chest was pressed against his.His mind running miles after the realization,he kinda liked the feeling of your chest against his.

You made eye contact,the tension reaching the moon.You try to squirm away,feeling flustered.

'Stay still' you stop moving,he's quite intimidating...

[ieatnomnom9823]

stupid headcanons no one asked for and make 0 sense

me and my friend enjoy in making the most shit headcanons to exist so i'm gonna share some of them bc why the fuck not?

princess kenny is an amazon box

kyle only knows how to play football because of how much he kicks Ike

cartman vibes to this video: https://youtu.be/PDJLvF1dUek?list=RDgBpdSlgR5qM (thats not mine btw)

butters has a MLP figure he literally sleeps with and treats it like his own child

everyone is sort of worried about butters obsession to that toy

the plural of kenny is in fact not kennies, but kennys

kyle not only kicks babies, but he also throws them

butters genuineley thinks the rickroll is a banger

kenny and cartman have the weirdest fucking pinterest feed *cough* maid catboys, shitty t-shirts, those random-ass pictures with text over them, like memes kinda but not with a very specific color text and font, the most random stickers and flags like bibble idk they really like bibble though also this totallyyyy isn't inspired by my feed *cough*

stan dedicates his LIFE to minecraft parkour. i'm talking watching those low guality parkour things with screenshits from the interent and he is a GOD at hypixel housing parkour (i came up with this because i have hypixel parkour open rn)

kenny is #1 lemon demon fan. i will NEVER change my mind about this.

craig literally sleeps with a fucking metal pipe.

instead of warming glasses of milk by pouring milk into a cup and microwaving the cup, he literally puts the whole fucking CARTON IN THE MICROWAVE AND THEN PUTS IT IN A CUP

instead of repenting your sins, cartman repeats his sins ( i just really needed to say that phrase today)

kyle is so weezer coded

stan's the type of mf to say "chat" instead of "guys"

anytime someone makes a dirty joke butters just akwardly smiles politely bc he doesn't get it but he's too embarrassed to ask what it meant

i found a picture this is exactly cartman and kenny's feed:

(that was my first screenshot since cleanig my files out other then the random bunny thing i drew in class cuz i was fucking boerd and had no idea what was going on)

stuart, randy, gerald, and steven (or whatever the fuck their name is) are literally besties but HERE ME OUT

randy and gerald are the silly besties like kyle and stan BUT stuart and steven (what the fuck is that man's name) are ALSO besties BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE IN TFBW IN THE STRIP CLUB THEIR WATCHING LADIES DANCE TOGETHER AND THEIR GETTING DRUNK TOGETHER THEIR LITERALLY BEsTIES OMG

craig has flying powers

butters thinks skibidi toilet is peak comedy and that is why everyone hates him (except for literally like 2 people)

why the fuck is his name dougie

FUCKING HOW IS CARTMAN EVEN CAPABLE OF HAVING CLOSE FRIENDSHIPS AND BUTTERS DESERVES BETTER

"life goes onyonyonyonyonyonyonyon" is literally cartman's theme song after trying to kill everyone with some shitty plan he got from watching Megamind or something

kyle literally has trauma from burgers he will NOT eat any burger if you paid him fucking 56,000,000 bucks

kyle is so an elephant he's literally an elephant that's his spirit animal

tweek is literally a turtle idk how i can't describe the vibe but he is ik he's SO not a turtle but he just... idk he is

kenny is a fucking rat i literally have art of me bullying him and calling him a rat

butters is either a bunny or a cat of a duck he's just silly like that

cartman isn't a duck he's a goddamn angry goose

stan is a bear or like a giraffe or something idk ik he's the main character but i don't think about him that much for me

butters is literally in choir guys

HOLY SHIT STAN'S AN ORANGE CAT

craig is the most beaustiful majestic dragon to ever exist

craig's literally my favorite character if you couldn't tell

kenny is too scared to eat cheetos so he eats takis instead

literally everyone loves megamind

[inverse-problem]

hiii you posted something about having read most of the like, recommended books with robots in them and i was just curious if you would be cool with listing some that youd rec? trying to read more books with robots in them and curious for ideas :]

sure! was gonna do a whole organized post but I may as well just get some down for now. not gonna be an exhaustive list (there's a bunch on my to-read list I don't want to rec before I read it myself), my summaries may be dubious, my taste may also be dubious, but here's a few I liked. I definitely recommend seeking stuff out outside of my list bc honestly it's quite limited now that I'm looking at it lol. be warned also that a lot of these deal with heavy themes of stuff including identity, bodily autonomy, etc. (idk which specific topics may be an issue so be sure to consult a trigger list if necessary). also I have yet to find anything with a robot romance that I find particularly compelling but ah well

the murderbot diaries series by martha wells: pretty much everyone's gonna recommend these to you, and for good reason imo, they're quite solid. main character is basically a security guard cyborg (humanoid but not human) who hacked its programming and is trying to figure out what it actually wants to do with itself now that it has free will. all it wants to do is watch tv shows in its head and avoid interacting with people, but life-or-death situations and its penchant for wanting to rescue people keep getting in its way

the imperial radch series by ann leckie: sentient spaceship ai that once had hundreds of human bodies all networked to a central ai, on a revenge quest. lots of themes of identity, lots of space geopolitics, a big horrendous empire that people are grappling with being complicit in, and an interesting take on a single-gendered society inspired by ursula leguin's the left hand of darkness (also a solid book, no robots there though). gets quite intense at times because of the sorts of horrors that evil empires get up to

17776 by jon bois: (note the link is to a website that turns into the story when you scroll through, watch out if flickering/eyestrain/etc is an issue) technically not a book but a multimedia webnovel of sorts (with short animations and videos, but mostly written as dialogue between characters). it's the year 17776, a lot of places are underwater, humanity has found itself immortal, and several space probes have gained sentience. now, the space probes busy themselves with watching and discussing what the humans are doing to entertain themselves, which mostly involves really absurd games of football. a bit absurdist and existential but very fun, even if you don't know much about football

the monk and robot series, by becky chambers: this one is very chill; a monk in a cozy post-industrial future setting doesn't know what they want from life so they go on adventure on impulse and meet a robot. robots have been out of contact with humanity for a long time, so both of them learn a lot from each other

the wayfarers series, also by becky chambers: haven't read all of them yet but the first book is a chill character-driven space road trip story with a friendly ship ai. lots of found family themes, and great if you like seeing a story where people are working together and are really in their element. the sequels tell other stories set in the same universe, most of which also feature robot characters, and there's interesting alien characters there too

activation degradation, by marina j lostetter: a robot gets activated on a space mining platform during an alien attack, and has to deal with a bunch of ensuing chaos and misinformation. I mostly found the plot twists interesting here, the characters themselves were so-so to me

obligatory asimov recommendations, caveat that his work is old and has historical biases etc, but also that's where you get the three laws of robotics so welp. I, robot is an interesting collection of short stories, mostly focusing on how the three laws of robotics actually can break down in various situations. there's also the robot trilogy which is basically a buddy cop detective story with a human from earth and a robot from space and they solve murders. lots of caveats with this rec (for one, I'm not big on cop shit to put it mildly) but asimov does do some interesting worldbuilding and society building with how the earth and space societies differ. there's the foundation series that follows from these books but I haven't read that haha

the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy series by douglas adams: only one prominent robot here who sporadically shows up, but also this series is just a fun time. the premise is that earth gets destroyed by aliens to make way for an unnecessary space highway, and one very tired human survives and bounces around the galaxy encountering all sorts of weird situations. lots of humourous satire, some a bit dated at this point but much still holds up. also douglas adams just has a way with words

individual short stories:

fandom for robots by vina jie-min prasad: a robot learns what fandom is! a very fun read imo

a guide for working breeds, also by vina jie-min prasad, whose writing I really like in general tbh: robots dealing with a contract job economy

68:hazard:cold by janelle c. shane: robot stranded on an ice planet. I really like the description of how a robot's view of the world and communication protocols might look

cat pictures please by naomi kritzer: an ai wants to be helpful to humanity but doesn't quite know how; a nice benevolent ai story

there were other short stories I also liked but I can't find where I put them now, welp. let me know if you read and enjoy any of these, though!

[bastardtrait]

huge get to know me post

hi friendsies. I feel like sharing today. some of these are from a really long time ago because I've been hoarding them like the sewer-dwelling critter I am. thank you to everyone who tagged! if you also feel like sharing today then please by all means, use this post as an excuse.

last and current things tag! for this one I was tagged by @moonfromearth @newvegastrait and @airbussy-a330.

last song: water colour by Wheein

last show: I watched an episode of From with my brother & SIL which was pretty intriguing

currently watching: I do not...watch shows...I can't stick to shows if it'd save my life tbh

currently reading: Love Hate & Clickbait by Liz Bowery. it's fine so far. a solid 3/5 read. could I recommend it? if you're bored maybe.

current obsession: God of War Ragnarök. in fact I'm so obsessed I'm hellbent on 100%ing this game and I might even go back for NG+. please send help.

15 questions for 15 mutuals! for this one I was tagged by @autonomousllama and @thelastairsimblr.

Are you named after anyone? Yes, I've got my parents' names in my full legal name.

When was the last time you cried? you're gonna make me say it huh. fine. I cried during the middle part of God of War Ragnarök omg bye

Do you have kids? No...but it'd be nice someday...

Do you use sarcasm a lot? I don't know if I'm sarcastic. not really my form of humour. but I could be wrong.

What sorts of sports do you/have you played? I like swimming and diving, and football/soccer.

What's the first thing you notice about other people? okay this is gonna sound completely fucking unhinged so bear with me but...smell. like yeah that's a really normal answer right. but it's true. don't sue me.

Eye colour: brown

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings because I watched the ever-loving shit out of horror movies between 11-21 and now I don't care about them anymore.

Any special talents? I hate this question goodbye

Where were you born? the Philippines

What are your hobbies? cooking, video games, making and playing music, tabletop rpg's, painting. normal tweecore shit I guess.

Do you have any pets? yes, one overgrown rat the shelter tried to pass off as a dog but I know better. and I love him dearly.

How tall are you? driver's license says 173 cm which is around 5'8".

Favourite subject in school? god idk I haven't been in school in years. I guess history? maybe?

Dream job? I do not dream of having a job.

shuffle your playlist tag! I was tagged by @beebeesiims a while ago. in which I must shuffle my on repeat playlist and share the first 10 tracks GOD HERE WE GO...

Set Me Free - Twice

夜に駆ける Racing into the night - YOASOBI

きらり Flash - Fujii Kaze

真夜中のドア/Stay With Me - Matsubara Miki

Umaasa - Skusta Klee

Burning Friday Night - Lucky Kilimanjaro

Supernova - Ellegarden

Gunshot - KARD

Perfect World - Twice

Wonderland - iri

get to know the blogger tag! I was tagged by @lynxsimago aaages ago. some of these questions are the same as the ones above so those, I will skip.

show your wallpaper:

yes I use windoze 7. sorry my slay is so gigantic.

last movie: Mambo Italiano from 2003. one of those so bad it's good movies.

craving: some ice cold aiyu jelly on bright, blistering summer day!

what are you wearing right now? shorts...and a bandage on my torso bc I burned myself last night lol

piercings? earlobes and left nostril. I want an eyebrow one too though.

tattoos? a bow and arrow design on my right forearm and the word "انتظار" on my left wrist.

glasses/contacts? I wear glasses

last thing I ate: a panino I made. it slapped.

favourite colour? yellow!

favourite fictional character? Samwise Gamgee probably.

last place I travelled: if driving an hour+ away from home counts, then it was to Brockville. if it should be longer than that, then it'd be Vancouver.

[maiiyahh]

why sports anime charas wouldn't immediately get folded by ppl from shounens

okay so obviously this isn't going to talk about people from REALLY REALLY op verses like fucking dragonball or bleach or one piece, because literally everyone gets folded by them except for ppl from their own worlds and the mcs from those shitty reincarnated time-traveling tower climbing bullshit manhwas. i will mainly be talking about my hero academia and black clover bc these are the two that i think are somewhat 'weaker' (relatively!! relatively!!!!) compared to other mangas and animes ive seen. also when im refering to shounen i mean like,, ones with powers. ALSO, and this is really important, I AM NOT SAYING THAT THE SPORTS CHARACTERS WOULD WIN. i'm just saying that they're stronger than they get credit for, especially since a lot of people who i see debating this stuff aren't athletes and don't really understand how sport affects you in other parts of your life (including but not limited to fights)

SO!! point 1!! i think this gets swept under the carpet a lot whenever ppl are debating who's better, but powers that work in a specific sport can be translated into something outside of that sport. take midorima from knb as an example: he can shoot really good 3-pointers. well, outside of basketball, that probably means that he would have: a, really good spatial awareness since he never loses the ball or bumps into someone while shooting, b, insane hand-eye coordination, and c, crazy accuracy whenever he throws stuff in general. that's all stuff that's pretty useful in a fight, ngl. honestly, this skillset is kinda better than half the ppl in class 1a. like, sure, they've got quirks, but take away their quirks and most of them are basically useless.

POINT TWO. if a character has a power like isagi's meta vision or kuroko's vanishing thing (idk if it has a name) it's not gonna go away as soon as they get in a fight. meta vision literally lets isagi predict the future. there is no reason why this ability wouldn't give him the upper hand in a fight with someone else. especially since it's not strictly confined to football. the only thing he needs is data, and he can get a lot of that from watching fights. honestly, meta vision is so broken that i just know if he was in bnha it would count as a quirk.

POINT THREE, specifically for people like kise ryouta and reo mikage. anyone who can copy other people will still be able to do it. like obviously they're not gonna be able to shoot fire or do a domain expansion or summon a stand or any of that shit, but they can still copy physical moves. so if they go watch 100 videos of ppl doing krav maga or some shit they'll be able to do it, which would make them pretty strong. considering how in bnha (sorry bnha fans ur anime is just the easiest to compare too) people with more mentally-focused quirks can become really strong just by relying on a weapon or learning some sort of fighting style. in black clover literally half the people get beaten up by some kid who has zero magic and a sword. like, what's stopping kise from grabbing a sword and slamming into some random ua kid's head?? it's not like they'd see it coming.

okay i know you're getting sick of me at this point but just hear me out

sports anime are only underrated in fights because people assume that every single person with powers immediately solos. like, normally they do, but a lot of the time it's not a zero diff fight, like come on. sure, zoro would kill hinata, but would yaomomo really beat reo mikage?? like are you sure?? are you only going off the fact that since she has powers she wins?? think about it for a second, please, i beg of you. powers =/= strong. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[abrahamvanhelsings]

thank youu for tagging me @zaegreus 💙🐳

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

not really, i believe my mother happened to know someone, a colleague or something, and she liked the name so on the baby name list it went. as far as my new chosen name which ive been trying out here and there, it's just the male version of my legal documents name, but since that's dorian it always makes people go 'ooo like from oscar wilde's dorian gray?' OR they go 'oh like in dragon age' and both of these things. queer. lmao.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

hmm i don't quite remember, i think i cried about palestine a couple of weeks ago bc i was very stressed abt work and my emotions were very close to the surface so to say, and this genocide happening right in front of our eyes while the world acts like it isn't makes me feel incredibly powerless and lose my faith in humanity. to see suffering and ignore it - to refuse to see these people as people, with lives and dreams and feelings that are each worth the universe, at all. just inconceivable to me.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

no. and despite what my mother likes to think i do not want them and i never will.

WHAT SPORTS HAVE YOU PLAYED/DO YOU PLAY?

i played football for a couple of years as a teenager. i also did horse riding for a year or two as a child, but then the timing of the lessons got awkward in regards to dinner so i had to stop. i still kind of miss it every once in a while though, because i really love horses and riding is very nice. uhh i also did archery for two years or something. and when i stopped playing football when i was 15 i went on to rowing and i haven't stopped doing that since! honestly a pretty important part of my life, there's a lot of time that goes into practice alone and i also have to volunteer at the club (common courtesy as a member), but i really love it. don't think ill ever stop doing it if i can help it.

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

uh yeah all the time lmaoo which sometimes people do not catch on to and then it seems like i've just said something incredibly rude or patently insane but we roll with life's punches. which in this case is failing a 'have a normal conversation' check.

FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

hands! im very peculiar about hands and i will commit a felony for a beautiful pair of them. this goes for eyes too but looking straight into people's eyes is, like, more intimate than sex so i tend not to do that very much even if i think someone's eyes are beautiful immediately. and also, people's shoes, bc i honestly believe that if there's any piece of clothing that can tell you a lot about a person it's shoes lmao

WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR?

hazel, they kinda go from brown to green depending on the shirt im wearing and the way the light falls into them

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

kind of depends on your definition of scary? i don't like horror at all but i can enjoy a good thriller. generally i think i prefer happy endings though. still, a good tragedy every once in a while... in fact one of my favourite movies of all time (in the mood for love) has a very bittersweet ending. and also i am terror crew of course

ANY TALENTS?

i used to be decent at drawing but i haven't really done that for years bc academia sucks the life out of you. same goes for writing - i so wish to take up writing fanfic and original works again and i have so many ideas, but then whenever i have the time i do not feel the energy. oh but im very good at public speaking! has always come naturally to me which is quite a stroke of luck

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

provincial town somewhere in the north of the netherlands

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

rowing, playing the piano, and the usual stuff i.e. reading, watching things (including sports) and playing video games. idk if id classify climate activism as a hobby? im not doing it for fun but bc it's necessary, but we do try to have a good time of it bc it's not sustainable mentally/physically if you don't. i also play board games with some of the climate activism people in my city every once in a while

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

no! my parents used to have cats but when they died they didn't take new ones and im away from my own apartment more often than im there bc of work and sports and activism and friends blah blah blah so it isn't really a good idea for me to take a cat or something if we can't even be proper companions

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

ehh 169 cm or so

FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

even though i studied history i think latin and ancient greek were my favourite subjects in high school bc that's where i actually learned things. the history teacher just let me do whatever bc it was all too easy for me anyway, but latin/greek were actually challenging even though i was good at them. in fact my highest mark on the big national high school exams was for greek! also i told you about my amazing latin teacher :')

DREAM JOB?

man i don't even know anymore. for the longest time i thought i wanted to work in academia but now im doing a phd and im seeing all the uni politics up close im like... man... all of you people and your made up rules and your cronyism and toxic power dynamics and your hierarchies suck ass for real. but then idk what else id do bc even though i like museums that whole world is impossible to get into without literal nepotism so yeah. marry rich and set up something cool to popularise opera among younger generations? lmfao

tagging @garlandgerard @boogiewoogieweeb @croziers-compass @burrowingregg @tadpal @tideswept if you feel like it 💚🐢