#idk dude im indecisive

[lordsardine]

.

[themindelectricdemo4]

Holy FUCK r/honesttransgender is so transphobic

[kuiinncedes]

nvfhjjgdkf

[midiosaamor]

❪ ✦ ❫ 𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐑.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: grayson hawthorne x nb!reader

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: js thinkin about how grayson would secretly listen to quiet asmr to calm his overthinking at night

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: fluff, cuddling, asmr, headcanon, idk probably an unpopular opinion with grayson listening to asmr at night, pet name of love

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒: idk

𝐀/𝐍: i know im not supposed to be making drabbles while im making my royalty series but still i couldnt help myself😞 plus probably an unpopular opinion with gray?? also the asmr arent those annoying ones hes very picky with his asmr choices bro like my dude will spend almost an HOUR lookin for one that he likes

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄.

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐃: ✓

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: @reminiscentreader @nqds @never-enough-novels @ilyiwdtpyiwmyhmtkys @evaswarner @sc11vb @sophiesonlinediary @starrynightsxo @f4iry-bell @his-littlefox @viivdle @aaron-warner @reyreadersblog @urbanflorals @imaseabear

just thinking about how GRAYSON HAWTHORNE would listen to asmr late at night to calm his thinking. when his thoughts became too much, when he started to slowly stress more and more.

he’d carefully make sure not to wake you up, even though you were up already whenever his breathing started to get unsteady, and get his phone before scrolling about youtube, looking at different asmr videos.

he carefully turned down his phone volume to not wake you up, clicking a video. he clicked out of it after seeing the previews, grumbling under his breath.

after a few indecisive choices and glaring at his phone, he finally picked a video that he liked. he carefully put his phone next to his ear, not wanting to move you from your head on his chest.

you knew about his secret habit of listening to asmr, letting it sooth him whenever everything got too much—when everything started to overwhelm him. you weren’t bothered by it.

even if you were, you didn’t tell him to stop. the noises from the video calmed him. you could tell his heartbeat started to slow down, his hand laying on yours on his chest.

he breathed in deeply and you nuzzled into his chest more, listening as his heart went back to his normal pace.

it wasn’t his fault he was like this, of course. you didn’t want to make it seem like he was to blame for his anxiety—hell, that was the last thing you wanted to do.

you were his rock—his anchor—aside from asmr, of course.

you hummed, before murmuring a “good night,” to the blond man. he blinked, looking down at you in slight shock. the tips of his lips lifted into a small smile.

“good night, my love,” he whispered back over the asmr video.

[readingwiththestars]

₊˚⊹♡ RECKLESS

["it's a good thing you're not here, because i still havent found my courage."]

| ✮ 4.5 stars |

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [spoilers ahead]

okayyy let me just start off with WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK WAS THAT ENDING LAUREN???? i'm not okay because of it. like nuh uh get lost. u had no right to do that (im saying this as if it didnt get spoiled for me and i didnt gaslight myself the entire book read that it wasn't going to happen)

i would like to straight up say this seemed like a filler book. just a set up for the next one, it didn't really have all too much plot-wise aside from pae and kai's romance. it was less on the fantasy side and more on the romance but i still enjoyed it a lot. and obviously since it was a filler book there was less character development (for some- im looking at you paedyn)

kai and pae were really cute in this book honestly (and as it mostly focuses on the romance ofc they were) the banter and everything was so wonderful to read i was giggling and kicking my feet wayyy to much. the romance was romancing but also not romancing at the same time (im not even gonna try to explain that just use vibes)

i do feel as though lauren's writing has definitely improved from powerless. she has this whimsical magical style of writing that i love it really takes me into the world of the book (mostly). other times the long sentences were too much in moments. like lauren. we did not need to know the colour of the bricks in the market at this certain moment in time when you'd already explained the colour two pages ago-

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

paedyn - ok i love her. i really do she's such a good fmc BUT for me in this book she was boring-ish. and hella indecisive like girly pop if i had kai talking to me like that i'd be folding so damn fast- but yeah it felt like she didn't have too much character development aside from finding out her dad was actually her dad. also i idk who the fuck she was trying to fool with her 'i hate you' to kai, like be fucking for real bitch no you dont.

kai - ok bye i could write a whole rant on why i love this man. like im sat. this book felt more like kai's book (as powerless felt like pae's) imo we got more on his backstory and i think his character (and povs) were more interesting for me to focus on. also his flirting and little one liners had me giggling and shit my sister actually woke up to me grinning like an idiot under torch light-

kitt - bye idek why i made this section for him. this is going to entirely be hate fr. OKAY WE GET IT DUDE UR A GHOST WHATEVER. OH MY GOSH U MISS UR DAD BUT IN THE NEXT POV U DONT LIKE BITCH CHOOSE A SIDE IDC ABT UR WHINY ASS. ALSO U CLEARLY HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH PAEDYN LIKE FUCKING HELL DUDE SHE IS UR 'MUSE' OR WHATEVER GET OVER YOURSELF. EUGH AND THEN PROPOSING TO HER?? YEAH SURE BUDDY "YOUR FEELINGS FOR HER DIED" MHM YUP OKAY TOTALLYYY *clears throat awkwardly* can you tell i hate him?

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [its like all kai... im not even sorry about it either]

"you are my proof of paradise." - kai

"call us even. call me crazy. i don't care. just... just call me yours." - kai

"under different curcumstances i promise you im much more fun tied up." - kai (WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREECHED AND STARED AT THE PAGE. MALAKAI AZER-)

"just pae and kai." - kai

"she was supposed to be my forever. now i'll watch her become someone else's. because the beast doesn't get the beauty." - kai

jahsdgj i can't wait for the next book hehe

[fey-creature]

My treasurer is sick.

I am the unlikely president of a fraternity that is really struggling with keeping members engaged [and thus also struggling to have many of them help run the fraternity...] and feel a little overwhelmed with all of the new responsibilities (like dang, I've only been in the frat for a year, idk how a lot of things run!). But I happen to be really strong and can do many things, so this will all go alright.

Not much of that is related to the fact that my treasurer is sick though! It's partially related to the fact that we're both rush chairs and rush just ended and idk how the process of giving out bids works out very well so it's been delayed by a few days, but will happen shortly. So it's *actually* due to my co-rush chair being sick, unrelated to the fact that he's also my treasurer. Things have been been partially overwhelming.

Honestly I struggle a lot with indecisiveness as the leader of a group. When it's just a decision that'd only affect me then I don't usually feel as scared to make a mistake.

If I could add a new cabinet position that's just [breaths in] person-who-listens-to-me-yap-about-every-choice-I-want-to-make-and-then-says-'yeah-dude-do-that'-if-it's-not-a-terrible-idea [gasp for more air] then I feel like I could be such an insanely good and productive leader. Or at least my to do list would get a lot longer and more specific. Hmmmmm...

Diary #1

[Image id: Comic. Panel one is a stick man with no facial features sitting in the oval office. Panel two has a second similar stick man burst through the door saying "Mr. President! The treasurer's down!" while the president stick man puts his hands on the sides of his head, lifting them up from writing on a "PORTANT PAPER" (the im in important is cut off from the viewer). Panel three is a very wide and short panel showing just the top half of the president stickman's face, now with big eyes tearing up, and a giant speech bubble saying "*violent sobbing*" "CRYING, SCREAMING THROWING UP..."]

[oflgtfol]

ok so for clarity im making this post in two parts because i had originally saved the original post as a draft but now something else has happened to complicate the situation but i feel like you still need to see the original post to know my feelings over time

[original post, drafted on august 29th:]

anyway i need a bit of a reality check on this like am i being weird and overthinking it or what

so my store has traditionally been all or almost all entirely women. the most we ever had was like 1, at most 2 guys working replenishment. we’ve had several long stretches where there was not a single male employee

my new SM is, well, a man. and we have many many problems with him for reasons that i wouldnt say are sexism but is mostly just that he’s a bad manager and the store is falling apart because of it and we’re bearing the brunt of it. especially weird dynamic because hes a 50 year old man and the entire rest of the store’s staff are all young women, at most mid 20s, and a sizeable number still literally in high school. our two full time managers, one in her mid 30s and the other in her 60s, have left for various reasons, which means that there is no sort of mediator to advocate for us anymore. its just this middle aged man overseeing a bunch of young women. add on how overbearing and bad he is as a manager in general and its like toxic lol

and so now hes finally started hiring for seasonal and its…. As far as i can tell, literally the only people calling the store saying they have interviews, have been guys.

and so i feel weird, and i feel weird thst i feel weird about it, that we’re now hiring like 5 men. but i also feel kinda justified in feeling weird because i almost feel like this is the SM pulling more weird shit. that he doesnt like this all female dynamic and is now trying to like, idk

IT FEELS WEIRD verbalizing it but hes a very condescending guy and the store is falling apart and so it almost feels like hes now giving up our current all female staff and trying to bring men in to fix it?? like he cant fire any of us women bc we’ve been here longer than him but now hes gonna bring in his own people for the first time and its all men? fundamentally changing the dynamic of the store that has been here for years longer than he’s even been with the company, and to further establish a disconnect between him and his young female staff ?????

am i overthinking it and reading condescension/superiority/whatever the word is into this. like i feel weird for being put off over hiring more than 1 dude per season but also this SM is backhanded like that so i really cant discount that there might be some weird vibes or motives behind this

[original post’s accompanying tags for the full picture:]

[new addition on september 3rd]

so now i just found out that this guy, who was literally the guy in the break room having his first day on august 29th, is being considered to be promoted to a manager

which is killing me because theres been all this talk among the managers for literally almost a year now about making me a manager and ive been indecisive because i dont know if i want to or not but ultimately its just been a “what if” situation to me because the actual SM hasnt said a word to me about it! he has never given me an offer. he has never even vaguely mentioned it to me. the only reason i know about it is bc im friends with the other managers and they tell me that hes been thinking about it for a while now

and my framing manager told me that this new guy was being considered as a new manager and i said “well. im actually kind of offended now that hes only been here for a week. meanwhile here i am” and she said “didnt SM give you an offer though?” and i told her that no the SM has not uttered a word to me about this and she was shocked

and its just. this kid has been here literally five fucking days? what the fuck? what the hell is going on. like yeah i am kind of offended actually. i still dont know if i would accept if given the offer but my indecision comes from whether i’d get an adequate raise and i cant come to a final decision without being able to negotiate my raise, which i cant do that if i havent been given the offer !!!! ive been here over two years i know pretty much everything in this store im cross trained on everything and everyone else in this store looks up to me as a non-manager superior and ive been told multiple times by the non-sm managers AND my non-manager coworkers that i should become a manager. meanwhile this guy has been here five days, ive interacted with him for two minutes, and of those moments i spent near him he barely spoke a word to me, and im sure he doesnt have the trust + camaraderie with my other coworkers yet as well, and yet SM wants him to become a manager like five days into him being hired ?!?!?

and again i dont know if i’d accept so thats why i feel kind of stupid for being offended but also like it’d still be nice to have offer ! especially compared to the guy who just started five days ago!!

[the-restless-bones]

I was at Barnes and Noble today looking at legos and this really buff, toxic masculinity looking guy comes up and starts looking at legos. I get a bit nervous bc, yk, it’s a full grown man and i’m half his size in an empty part of the store. Anyways i just kinda shuffle away from the Star Wars section to let him do his thing. But then like three minutes later i get a tap on the shoulder and inside im just like “oh, fuck. this is it” But when i turn around this dude holds up this little bird lego set and the freaking mona lisa set and just says “im indecisive. which one?” I stare at them for a good minute, bc im trying to be genuine about which one he would like best. The bird one looked kinda childish and like it would be a quick build, so i was like “Mona lisa. Takes longer” and without even nodding he just oh so carefully set down the birds and walked off with the mona lisa. Idk how to feel abt that interaction but ive been thinking about it on and off all day

[nervousmistycat]

tag game time!!

Disclaimer: I'm bad at saying stuff so the answers are gonna be a bit short and maybe weird? idk

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? uuuh yeah? kinda? my qpp is so awesome so yeah

02) What was your dream growing up? idk, at first I wanted to be a therapist and stuff, then a designer for many stuff, and now I'm just here

03) What talent do you wish you had? doing everything right the first time, cause I've quit so many hobbies for the sole reason I wasn't excellent first try lol

04) If someone bought you a drink what would it be? probably coffee? or a matcha drink. Actually, now that I think about it, my beloved once bought me my favorite drink from my fav place unprompted so yeah.

05) Favorite vegetable? uuuuh, first that comes to mind is broccoli

06) What was the last book you read? I was about to start a series but I already forgot the titles so that's fun

07) What zodiac sign are you? taurus I'm pretty sure

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? only the basic earring ones, I want more piercings, still not sure about which tattoos specifically but i do want some

09) Worst Habit? everything lol

10) What is your favorite sport? I don't play sports, but to watch it would be ice skating

11) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude? honestly, kindof pessimistic but i would say its more of a realistic one

12) Tell me one weird fact about you. I'm pretty sure I have a shit ton of health problems but going to the doctor in general makes me have anxiety attacks so I won't go willingly LMAO

13) Do you have any pets? MY DUDE!!!!! he's just a little guy who has no thoughts (yorkie dog)

14) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? I think they are just there, but some of them have some amazing makeup skills (I could never)

15) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I just want to be a racoon or a cat.

16) What color eyes do you have? very dark brown

17) Ever been arrested? not yet.

18) Bottle or can soda? cans, so i can take the opener thing off the top and collect it.

19) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? just put it into savings cause I'm too indecisive to use it on anything instantly

20) What's your favorite place to hang out at? idk, probably in my egg chair so

21) Do you believe in ghosts? i belive they are just little guys

22) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? nap

23) Do you swear a lot? sometimes? its kinof weird because sometimes i'll be like a sailor but other times i forget those words exist

24) Biggest pet peeve? being a bigot

25) In one word, how would you describe yourself? myno

26) Do you believe/appreciate romance? i read a lot of fanfiction so

27) Favourite and least favourite food? lagasnga or however that's spelt and least is onions (the texture BLEGH)

28) Do you believe in God? i think it would be funny that every single one of them is in a shared space, so all religions are kindof right and wrong at the same time

29) What makes you happy: my friends

30) Currently listening/the last thing you listened to: heatwaves LMAO (I swear it's ironic)

31) Favorite place to spend time: idk, my phone?? dont really have a physical place

32) Favorite lyric: you know the one from the crane wives, curses

33) Recommend a film: uuuh, idk the truman show?

34) Recommend a book: THE LUNAR CHRONICLES

35) Recommend a band, a song, or album: uuuh crywank is good

36) Recommend a TV show: genloss

37) Where are you from, and do you still live there? Where have you lived? im in the same place ive always been

38) Do you have any pets or animals in your life? How did you find/get them? ma dog, we adopted that guy from a friend of my father

39) What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? idkk ants? dirt? sand?

40) How did you 'find' fandom? wellll, i was on amino

41) Make a list of 5 things that you see without getting up. my bolillo purse, a creeper, a garfield plusie, a slinky and a ball

42) How do you style your hair? i just hope it looks good when i wake up

#tag games

[thebitterbeanjuice]

I WOULDVE BEEN PINGED DUDE!!!

i wasnt tagged but i wanna

age: somewhere in the teen years

height: 5'3

grade: i am not bound to such mortal cages (high school)

confidence: 6/10

happiness: 3/10

gender: demiboy (most likely)

sexuality: girls are pretty idk

romantic: i thinks bi

favorite food: pasta or broccoli yum

favorite show: maybe the owl house

favorite movie: big daddy (weird name but its adam sandler so)

favorite song: any mcr or fob song im indecisive

favorite artist: MY CHEMICAL FUCKIGN ROMANCE

relationship status: single i think

favorite color: purple

favorite season: winter

followers: INFINITYDPHFOQJF (like 69 i havent checked)

open tag because fun times

End of year stats!

Age: won’t say but minor

Height: 5’5

Grade: won’t say

Confidence: 7/10

Happiness: 5/10

Gender: gender fluid

Sexuality: asexual

Romantic: aroflux

Fav food: probably ramen?

Fav show: b99

Fav movie: not any

Fav song: too many to pick!!!

Fav artist: wallows or dayglow

Relationship status: single

Fav colour: green

Fav season: winter

Followers: 358 (as of Dec 29 at 2 am)

[vanivanvanilla]

im ngl i didnt realize how difficult the polls may be until they started getting replies lmao

[mongoosejpeg]

B o o!

[selfshipstuff]

doesn't really have to do with selfshipping but i would rather talk about this here than on main tbh. im thinking of changing my name again?? very frustrated bc i love the way my signature looks with my current one so so much but its been difficult to connect to it completely (altho that also might be since im not out to pretty much anybody irl so i hear my old name a lot,, OTL) and like. i just don't know (heads up i accidentally got a LOT personal in the tags so if youre not up for some heavy shit just ignore this skdnx god im all over the place rn in terms of train of thought)

[hoekageyama]

ok i’m about to rant abt personal life stuff so if y’all don’t mind here we go...

(i’ll make this a read longer so it’s not clogging up y’all feed w my stupid personal problems lol)

send help i’m supposed to go to a bday party for a (somewhat close) friend tn and i’m conflicted bc part of me just wants to chill w my babies & play cod w them all night bc they’re finally home from being away for what feels like fucking ages :((((

i am:

like i don’t wanna be a bad friend but just emotionally idk if i can handle being around ppl other than my boys rn

it really sucks tho bc we were gonna hang tn in person and all have a cute lil sleepover like we normally do but bc of the pandemic, my fren is gonna self quarantine bc he’s a good, respectable person & actually cares abt us (MY HEART HURTS LIKE LEMME HOLD UR HAND AND HUG U IDIOT)

anywaaaaaaay....

like i feel fucking gross beyond belief bc i’m just like ew (like as a whole entity)

but also like i wanna go bc i finally get girl time & like they’re so sweet and THERES ALCOHOL!!! LIKE I CAN FINALLY BE A LIL THODDIE W MY GIRLS BUT IM TOO FUCKIN D*PRESSED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE 😩😩😩😩😩😩

also like WHAT THE FUCK DO I GET HER FOR HER BIRTHDAY????!!!!! I DONT KNOW AND IM FREAKING OUT I AFDAJFFKJADJ 

H E L P 

P L E A S E

if u got this far pls take all these sweet haikyuu reaction pics as an apology for spewing my stupid personal bullshit nonsense online & it making its way to ur feed 🥺👉👈