#idk did she think those were all metaphors or????????

[taissaswifelowkey]

cigarettes, cigarettes.

a/n: idk why i felt like dishing this out??? and it was so random too like 💀💀 also, melissa is adorable and deserves the best of hugs people 😎‼️ proofread but there might lingering mistakes left. leave feedback if you have any, enjoy reading you already knowww, mdni

w/c: 3.4 k words

warnings: suggestive themes, mentions of a casual affair, swearing, mentions of smoking, love used as a metaphor of addiction and smoking, drinking at a party, overly dramatic writing, attempts at humour, gay yearning. melissa is in love but kind of doesn’t know how to deal with it.

second part will be written. more will be told about the reader’s background, and we’ll have a deeper insight on when they started seeing melissa. let me know if i missed anything else :)

it starts below the cut 🤠

Sitting on the rooftop, your eyes are mindlessly trained on the landscapes drowned by lamplights. A cigarette hangs between your lips and you’re starting to taste the bitter, raw nicotine from how long it has remained unlit. You wish you could bring yourself to inhale the toxins and allow the rot to travel throughout your lungs, consequently tainting your oxygen, but you’ve decided that you do too much of it already, the smell of her lingering fragrance marking your bedsheets being enough to ruin your health. It was a deranging fact considering you weren’t even a smoker. You wanted to find an alternative addiction that would slowly, softly kill you. It’s better to crawl at the hands of death rather than someone. At least that is what you think. Though you were always kind of melodramatic in that way. She’d tell you that whenever you would plead with her to stay with you after your nightly secret meetings.

Looking back at it you feel a little embarrassed. All those wasted words and wasted time. Wanting nothing more but to go back to stop yourself from breathing three words that left a taste of bile at the back of your mouth even after weeks.

Taking the cigarette away from your lips you twirl it around your fingers, the paper now nearly melted off. You don’t want to throw it away, feeling ridiculous that you spent your money on a twelve dollar pack. Lying back to rest on the cold concrete, you carefully place the cigarette on your chest in an almost cradling gesture.

The cold wind blows past your face, the skin of your neck, touching the places that were traced by her lips. Your fingers reach for them and you swear it’s like she never left.

“I didn’t know you smoked.”

A voice startles you, jerking you up. Instinctively you hold the cigarette like you’ve been caught. The act itself is unintentionally amusing, making the redhead bite back a smile.

“I don’t.”

“There’s no harm in it if you were.”

She casually strides up to you. She’s so pretty. She always is but you can swear that at this moment you’d be on your knees apologising to her for something you didn’t even do. And maybe that’s the problem.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t.”

You stand up, dusting off your pants, wanting to leave. The further you stay the more your brain shifts to your first conflict. Memories of raised voices, of tears, flushed faces and accusing words quickly speed past your membrane.

“Then why is there a box peeking out of your pocket?”

“Why do you care?”

Melissa sighs, crossing her arms. She wonders if whatever you had to drink tonight warranted that behaviour. But she also knew you never really were the drinking type. This only somehow worsens things, knowing that you’re sober and somewhat justifiably annoyed.

Ava’s laugh breaks the tension brewing between you, reminding your surroundings. At Janine’s flat, a get together between colleagues.

“This is useless.”

You make a move to leave but she steps in your way. You almost want to laugh at her boldness.

“We need to talk.”

“We talked already.”

You grit, looking down at your shoes. She is being unfair. Sending you off, ignoring you for days and only talking to you when she needed to. Your friends did catch on to the shift of the atmosphere but couldn’t exactly place it. No one asked any questions either, knowing not to bother Melissa when she was having her pondering moments. It’s not like they could ask you anything either, always finding a sly excuse to get out of the conversation.

“Won’t you just cut the attitude and be serious about this for five minutes—”

“You have no right to tell me what to be serious about, Melissa. Not when you’ve got some questions to ask about yourself.”

You’re right. She knows you are. You have that same look on your face the day you pronounced the same words that felt like an open wound. “Why’d you have to ruin everything?” She asked, not frustratingly cried out. Then again her reasonings were justified. The agreement you had between you was simple. No attachments, no feelings.

With flushed cheeks she looks ahead of you. Her pride not wanting to let you know you aren’t exactly in the wrong, at least not really. Whatever it is, she won’t give you the satisfaction. Much to your great relief. Biting back your tears, you scoff, walking past her. She catches the subtle whiff of your linen scent, instantly bringing back memories of you spending rare mornings in her kitchen. Or evenings of her trying to teach you how to cook Italian food but ended up being distracted by the way you wrapped your arms behind her, placing soft kisses on her neck.

A couple excuses and farewells later you left the party, wishing everyone well and ignored Ava’s slight inquisition in your mood. You waved it off, joking that you’ve had many drinks in you and needed to rest. Which you should have seriously thought of before because Ava being inquisitive Ava knows you don’t really drink, failing at convincing you to slip a few drops of alcohol in the punch at a PTA reunion that one time.

“Something’s off with Romeo.” She points at Jacob and Barbara, who casts a curious look as you leave. He thought about it for a moment before speaking up again.

“I think Romeo is the wrong romantic hero to use here—”

“Can we drop the nerding for a second and gossip…I mean, talk about our colleague?” Ava exasperates.

Usually, Barbara isn’t one for gossip, but she had to admit your behaviour was strange.

“The other day I still saw her class lights on. I presumed it was to catch up on correcting papers but this has been the fifth time in a week.”

“What do you think it is? Heartbreak? Food poisoning?” Ava ponders, already thinking of the bake sale that you participated in, and accepts a plate of visibly raw cookies from a student out of pity.

“Or maybe it’s just stress and fatigue?” He hums, pretending not to know what she was talking about. The truth is, he was aware. At least he had some idea. He saw Melissa in one of your shirts once. Chalking it up to you two having a sleepover he dropped the thought but it was admittedly strange. He tried talking about it to Melissa in a completely innocent curious way, to which she quickly shut him down. He tried asking you, but you would always find a way to slyly change the subject.

“Another theory is either a relationship or a situationship gone wrong. Probably the second one. I haven’t seen that look in a while, that’s someone who needs to get lai—”

Melissa enters after, walking towards Janine and Gregory. She asks for you but they confusedly answer that you left. Right. She knows you did. But a part of her hoped you’d stay. A tiny part.

“Hmm, I don’t know. Digging into her life seems a bit unethical.” Jacob scratches his neck, acting as if he didn’t want to know what was really happening.

“It’s not unethical if we’re preoccupied.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but Ava’s right. We should be rightfully preoccupied.” Barbara supports, earning a slight indignant expression from Ava.

“What do you mean you can’t believe what you’re saying? I’m always right. Almost always.”

“What are we saying?” Janine interrupts, smiling cheerfully at the group. “Oh…is it about the appetisers? Look, I know they’re not exactly homemade but I tried to make it look presentable.”

Melissa is right behind them, peering through the groups' eyes. She catches on to Jacob’s uneasy smile, who grabs an appetiser from a nearby platter to avoid speaking. Ava clears her throat and resumes talking.

“We know they aren’t homemade. Maybe that’s what got our friend sour.”

Ever the sweetest person, Janine’s tone changes at the mention of you. You did look a bit off. She really thought it was the food but you reassured both her and Gregory.

“Thank God because I ate at least ten of those…” mutters Gregory, offering a teasing smile when Janine bats his biceps.

“What got our colleague sour?” Melissa questioned, or rather interrogated. She knew she somehow had to appear clueless if she wanted to avoid having a discussion. The incoming questions were already giving her a migraine. Though the only person she’d trust this issue with is Barbara.

“Now, I am in no way condoning gossip nor peering into personal lives—”

“Oh, just spit it Barb.” Ava eggs on. Barbara sighs and rolls her eyes before turning to Melissa again.

“We think it might be a case of a heartbreak. The opposite of you, actually.”

Ironic.

“Is that what it looks like?” Melissa ponders, trying so hard not to let her voice waver.

“Oh, yeah, speaking of how’s your date going?” Janine smiles, knowing a bit about Melissa’s “mysterious date”, consequently allowing the topic about you to change.

“It’s…it’s going okay. Ish.”

“Are you thinking about going official?” Ava nudges her shoulder, a conspiring smile on her face. “I would like to see who’s giving you that glow. Like where did you find them exactly? Wherever it is, maybe they have more.”

She fights back from blushing, her brain rushing to moments of you taking care of her, your soft praises, how your lips traveled across every inch of her skin.

“That good, huh?” Jacob quips, instantly recognising that look she has. She had it when you left to get coffee and he could’ve sworn she wasn’t just “tired”. She was unabashedly gazing at you. The woman’s eyes widened, wondering if she should shut Jacob up. But that will for sure sell her out.

“Leave the poor woman alone. She’s not who we are talking about at the moment. But you will have to tell me everything soon, won’t you, Melissa?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll tell you everything.”

“In any case, I hope it’s not too bad. I’ve seen that kind of heartbreak before.” Barbara winces at the thought of your solemn face. You were genuinely bright, not too talkative, but still a positive figure at Abbot Elementary.

“Let’s all drink in the honour of our Romeo and hope it’s not that case.” Ava pours drinks for everyone, clearly not using this as an excuse to get everyone to drink.

Melissa stares down at her cup before taking another sip, hoping the cup’s contents will wash down the churning feeling in her stomach.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

The next following weeks went on as usual. You preparing your lessons, marking your students' papers. You think you’ve seen fiery red hair at your door but maybe that’s just your delusion.

Melissa’s week was fairly average like yours. Except that there is an issue. She’s not able to clear her mind out of you. That and you’ve left your shirt at her place. She wondered many times if she should call for you to pick up but has decided that your relationship is already awkward as it is. That and she still hasn’t told her best friend who had her smiling dreamily.

To make matters comedically worse Jacob is somehow connecting the dots. Asking her about the shirt you’ve left. Then about you and if you two talked recently. She tried to answer his questions normally but had a gut feeling that this wasn’t just innocent curiosity.

They were now at the professors' lounge room, having just had a lunch break with everyone except you. You said you needed to catch up on lesson prep and heated your lunch and left.

“Melissa I know it’s none of my business—”

“Damn right it’s not.”

“But I was just wondering—”

“Then stop wondering.” She shrugs, moving to pack her things from the lounge room. She liked to consider herself helpful but right now what she needed was to get home. And definitely not try to text you.

Jacob quickly stops her from leaving, blocking the entrance door.

“Jacob don’t make me start—”

“It’s her, isn’t it?”

She blinks her eyes, eyebrows furrowing.

“Look I know I shouldn’t care and it doesn’t concern me. But I’ve seen the way you two look at each other.”

Before she could even answer the door opens, making them both jump in fright. Barbara looks between them and shoots a conspiratorial glance.

“Gossiping again?”

“No?” Jacob answers as he pretends to dust lint off Melissa's shoulders. “Just catching up on…the weather?” To be fair he was a bad liar.

She shrugs his hand off her shoulder, looking at Barbara. She knows she can’t hide anything from her. What is surprising is that she can’t even hide anything from Jacob. Either he was too observant or she was becoming too transparent.

“Is anyone going to tell me anything?” Barbara raises an eyebrow, taking note of their awkward looks.

“It’s complicated.” Melissa sighs out, massaging her temples.

“I think this is something that you two need to talk about alone…” Jacob temptingly mutters, making a move to leave before the redhead grasps his wrist.

“Oh, no. You’re staying.”

It’s the least he could do for trying to dig into her personal affairs. His face is stricken with fear as Barbara’s confusion deepens.

“You might want to uh…sit down for this one, Barbara. But please don’t blame her for anything, I mean like she said it is complicated—”

“Wait, you knew about this?” Barbara inquisitions, her hand waving between her best friend and the frightened man.

“No, no, no! I mean I had some idea of it, Melissa was oblivious and I sort of figured it out—”

“Jacob. Quiet.” Melissa sits down on a chair, head dropping to her hands, mentally preparing for the incoming headache she’s about to get from all this mess.

“Will someone tell me what is going on? It’s not anything too serious is it?” Barbara takes a maternal tone, concern wavering in her voice at the sight of her friend in distress.

“You know I’ve been seeing someone?”

“Yes…? Did he…or they broke up with you? Sweetheart, I’m so sorry—”

“It’s someone we know.” The redhead speaks between her teeth, shame coursing through her body. She takes a deep breath, looking at Jacob who sends her an encouraging nod.

“You know I will never judge you, right?” Her best friend moves to sit in front of her, taking her hand in hers and lightly squeezing it.

“I know, it’s just…”

“Messy.” Jacob completes, earning an exasperated look from the redhead.

“Yeah.”

“Well I’m here to listen. And not judge. That’s not what we’re here for, right?” She looks up at Jacob, who shakes his head and offers his hand in support, hoping the redhead won’t break his phalanges.

“You know we’re here for you no matter what, Mel.”

The support is surprisingly enough for her to gain a little courage. She has to do it. If not for her then for you. Silence ensues.

“It’s…it’s…well.”

When Barbara hears your name, she swears she thought it was a joke. But at the look of Melissa’s face, she knows she is being completely serious.

“For how long?” The question isn’t meant to be judgmental, but the redhead fears it is.

“Four weeks.”

“That explains everything. You tolerated Jacob’s jokes more than usual.”

“Wait…you aren’t…mad at me?”

“Sweetheart, why would I be? I’m in no place to judge you whatsoever. As long as you’re happy and safe, you are free to live your life and see whoever you want to.”

“O…okay. Thank you.”

“There is no need.”

The pair hug, while Jacob awkwardly clears his throat.

“So does this mean I’m safe and won’t get kicked out?” He shrinks back in his posture as Melissa gets up, Barbara stands with her just in case she needs to hold her back. 

“Everything’s all good.”

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay. I think sooner or later you were bound to find out anyway..”

“It is true that I started asking myself a couple of questions when you didn’t have your glow anymore.” Barbara nudges her, smiling at the way she fights back her blush.

“Yeah, well…it’s kinda over now, so…”

“Over? Oh, honey, this isn't over for the two of you. Not until you two had a proper conversation between adults.”

“But she’s–”

“Then tell her you’ll give her all the time she needs. But soon you will need to talk. If she does not understand that, then at least you gave it a chance. Don’t let her run anyway again.”

She knows she’s right. She can’t let this go any further.

“Let who run away?”

Janine walks in a tow with Ava and Gregory. Mr. Johnson, who walked in to look for trash, stayed when he heard something that might make his day interesting.

Melissa looked at everyone before catching your figure in the hallway. You two share a fleeting look before you leave. Everyone follows her gaze before looking back at her. Ava raises her eyebrows and sips her cup of coffee.

“This is messy.”

“Ava, stop–” Janine softly intervenes but Melissa shakes her head.

“No, she’s right. It’s my mess to fix.” She gazes at the empty spot you left, wanting nothing more but to stop you from leaving.

“Are we going to have to play matchmaker?” Ava excitedly whispers to Gregory, who places a hand over her shoulder.

“Looks like it. Or maybe this is something for them to fix themselves.”

“You’re going to have to tell us everything. If you want to, of course. No judgments here.” Ava speakers earnestly, though her voice is edged with curiosity.

“I think this is something for me to talk about later. See you after class.” Melissa smiles at the group one last time, nearly breaking into a grin when Barbara offers her a thumbs up.

She already screwed up once. She wasn’t about to let you go again. Even if you decide to let her go, she has to let you know what she had to say from the beginning. What she wanted to say.

[flimsy-roost]

at least once a week I think about the whiplash of my creative writing professor praising and raving about a personal narrative I wrote because I so vividly conveyed what it's like to have the extreme sensitivity to sound that I do that she could viscerally understand my experience and capped off the compliment paragraph by saying that it was especially impressive that I could communicate these feelings so well because I don't feel emotions

[enchantedflameandflower]

billy teaching his girl how to smoke a cig would be so attractive

I feel like maybe they would go out to a bar or something and in like a tipsy confession she says “i’ve never smoked” or something like that ”idk how to smoke properly im always coughing its so embarrassing blah blah blah”

Need my man to guide me through it

Billy x you! Nsfw 18+ only for smoking, smut, piv, creampie, hint of exhibitionism

Thank you SO MUCH for this ask anon! Once I got the idea for the vibe it just took off. Hope you all enjoy!

~

It’s late, almost midnight, and you’re sitting up on the roof of your apartment building with Butcher and a cold bottle of beer each. The air is a little chilly but not bad and no one else seems to ever come up here so it’s nice. You’d met Butcher at the bar but it had been crowded and annoying so you’d invited him back to your place. 

The building seems to be mostly made up of elderly people but you love it. They’re kind and quiet and you love being able to help them when they need. The random baked goods you receive from time to time don’t hurt either. There’s one old lady specifically that Billy has charmed completely. He’s definitely got her wrapped around his little finger, that one. 

And you enjoy the quiet at night. You’re sitting cross-legged on a sort of concrete platform on top of the roof that’s at the perfect height. Billy is sitting next to you, his big booted feet planted on the ground of the roof.

You can’t help glancing over at him, and you know affection is shining in your eyes but you can’t help it and you don’t care. You’d started this sort of friends with benefits casual thing a couple months ago but you were falling for him hard and you knew it. Yeah, he was rough around the edges, really rough, but there was so much more to him and you had never cared what anyone else thought. 

And damn if he wasn’t the sexiest thing you’d ever seen. Tall, dark and brooding as fuck. 

“I thought you quit,” you murmur, nodding toward the cigarette he’s puffing lazily next to you. 

He smirks. “I did. Don’t know what ‘cher talkin’ ‘bout.” He takes another drag then holds it out toward you.

You pause for a second but then you take it between your fingers. “I always feel like I’m not doing it right…” you half joke. “And then I just cough.”

Billy looks at you. “All this time on planet ‘earf and ya don’t know how to smoke proper? It ain’t that hard, love…” He grins mischievously. “Just wrap those pretty lips ‘round and suck. But slowly, not too much. An’ let it out slow like, too.”

You nod, pursing your lips around the cigarette but Billy scoots closer immediately. 

“Not so tight, love, relax. Little more slack…ya know, like how ya move your lips when me cock’s slidin’ in.”

You’re immediately pulling the cigarette out of your mouth as your cheeks flush. “Butcher!” 

He just grins and inches back on the platform before he tugs on your wrist, pulling you to sit in his lap and guiding your hand back up. “Try again.”

You try not to think about how good his hard thighs feel beneath you and put the end of the cigarette up to your lips but let it rest there between the two instead of gripping it. You take a slow inhale in, and then slowly blow it out again, watching as the swirl of white smoke drifts gently away. 

Butcher squeezes your hip. “There ya are, doll, see?” he grins, his dimple showing and you know he’s thinking his metaphor is what made all the difference.

“You’re a menace,” you murmur, handing the cigarette back to him. 

Butcher takes a long drag, then after a moment lets go. The thick smoke curls out from his full lips and between the both of you as he exhales. There’s something so fucking sexy about the way he does it and the glimmer in his eyes as he catches you looking at him. He continues to exhale, the smoke kissing your mouth. You breathe it in, swearing you can taste him on it. 

Holding the cigarette up to your mouth again, Butcher watches as you pull lightly and his dark hazel eyes go even darker with heat.

The look makes you squirm in his lap and his big hand clenches your waist. “Ya keep that up and I’m gonna end up takin’ ya right here on this concrete,” he threatens - promises? - a low husk to his voice now. 

Yeah…the thought of that and his gruff tone make you wet for him immediately. It’s been a couple weeks since the last time you slept together and suddenly now you need him so much it hurts. 

He must be able to tell by the look on your face because the corner of his mouth lifts in a wicked smirk. “Ya like that idea, dontcha doll?” 

“Maybe…” you murmur and he tsks at you. He gives you the cigarette and you hold it up to your mouth again as his hand slips down between your thighs. Your leggings and your thin underwear do next to nothing to shield your already throbbing clit from his rough fingers.

He presses in firmly, rubbing his fingertips in a little circle, and his smile widens. “I can already tell, hot and slick for me, aren’t ya.”

Two can play this game, you think. Leaning forward, you bite his full lower lip and he growls, sliding his hand in your hair and tugging you close to capture your mouth fully with his. He tastes like cigarettes and beer and something uniquely him, masculine and rich.  

His tongue slides over yours, hot and possessive and it turns your insides to jelly, somehow making you want him even more when you thought you were already at the max. You moan into his kiss as his tongue strokes into your mouth. The sensation makes you shiver, your center throbbing for him, clenching around nothing. How you wish he was already buried inside you. Butcher holds you closer against him and only breaks the kiss when you push at his chest, gasping softly for air. 

His eyes are dark with need and his gaze is intense. His eyes flick to your lips and you know they must be swollen and pink from his kiss. Your breath is still coming in little pants but you panic a little under his steady stare.

“What?” you ask, a little scared of the answer, but the look in his eyes is making you think crazy stupid things that couldn’t possibly be real, you had to be dreaming…

“Ya don’t even know how bloody gorgeous you are, do ya?” he husks. 

“I - ” you swallow, your muddled brain trying to make sense of what he was saying. Fuck. His hand is still pressed between your thighs and you groan as he shifts you closer. The motion presses his thick knuckle right against your cunt.

“Fuck Billy…need you, please…” you gasp, wriggling against his hand, your eyes fluttering closed.

You don’t want to wait to go back downstairs, you don’t want to wait another second, you want him right here, right now out in the open air, all of his teasing way too much to bear. You’ll beg for it if you have to.

But you don’t. 

Billy is moving the instant you stop speaking. He lets go of you to strip his battered old coat off and you squeak, throwing your arms around his neck, the cigarette still between your fingers, to keep from getting dumped right off his lap.

He tosses his coat on the cement next to you then reaches down to pull your shoes off, before standing and flipping you over to lay you down across his coat. 

“Such a gentleman,” you tease, smiling up at him from your prone position. The cement is still cold and hard beneath you and his coat, but you don’t care and you know you’ll appreciate the lack of cement burn in the morning. 

“Oi, when am I not?” he grins devilishly  and before you can answer he’s pulling your leggings down your long legs, and everything else with them, stripping you bare from the waist down.

He catches your gaze, then his big hand slides from your hip to your side, pushing your shirt up. He bends down to nip and bite at your stomach then drags his mouth over your skin, beard tickling and rubbing, until he reaches your breasts. You wiggle and arch to help him push your shirt and bra up the rest of the way under your arms until you’re naked from your tits down, spread out for him on the cement platform in the night air.

“You’re a fuckin’ sight, ain’t ya,” he rumbles, his eyes taking their fill of you as his rough hands smooth over your body and the chilled air licks at all your naked skin. “Think anyone can see?” He glances up to the right of you, at a taller building next to this one that clearly has lights in some of the windows. 

You whimper, squirming and closing your eyes. “Oh god…” you breathe. 

“Splayed out naked, out in the open here and practically beggin’ for me,” he hums.

“Billy,” you gasp. You aren’t sure if you want to just hurry up and get it over with or if you’re actually going to explode with pent up lust but either way you need him to fuck you now.

Billy seems to acquiesce and he palms your breast, tugging at your tight nipple with one hand while the other undoes his buckle and the button of his jeans. 

He takes the cigarette out of your hand and puts it back in his mouth, holding it with his teeth and taking another long puff as he unzips his jeans, pushing them just low enough on his hips so his thick cock can spring free. He flicks the cigarette aside on the cement then uses both hands to tug on your hips, pulling you to the edge. 

“Fuck…Billy,” you groan as he slots his swollen length against your slick cunt and presses your thighs further part then starts to push in. 

“Don’t need to tell me twice…” he rumbles. 

You stretch for him as he slides inside you, but he’s so big and you have to take a breath to relax enough to take him all the way. 

“So fuckin’ tight,” he groans in a gruff voice, and he shifts to slip his thumb over your clit to help ease his way inside. 

The moment the tip of his thumb circles the slick, tight bud, pleasure bursts inside of you and he thrusts all the way in, filling you up. 

It’s so good. You cry out loud, then quickly lift your hand to cover your mouth and muffle the sound but Billy grabs your wrist, pulling your arm away. “N‘uh…need to hear ya, love. Need to know how much you need my cock…”

“Everyone will…hear…” you whimper as he thrusts inside you again. 

“Won’t know it’s you, doll. Let them listen. Let them hear how good my cock makes you feel…”

All you can do is moan as he thrusts again and then again, his fingers teasing at your stiff nipple and then your clit again, driving you mad, always knowing where to go next. But you need more, you need all of him. 

“Harder…please…Billy…” you moan, clenching around his cock as he buries it deep, gripping the edges of his coat with your fingers. 

“Tha’s my good girl,” Butcher growls, thrusting harder and picking up his speed, hitting that perfect spot inside of you over and over.

You’re crying out with each deep thrust now and you don’t care who hears. When you wrap your legs around his hips, he leans down and presses against you, catching your shoulders and holding on as he groans against the curve of your neck. You can feel the vibration from his chest just as he thrusts, hitting every nerve ending on the way. It makes you cry out loud again, desperate and wanton. The sound echoes off the brick walls, making you blush harder as the pleasure of it zings straight to your clit. Fuck why does it turn you on even more…and it’s so annoying how quiet he can be even when he’s making you crazy. 

After another moment though, all thought leaves your mind and all you know is how fucking good Billy feels as you balance on the knife edge of bliss. The base of his cock pushes right against your clit as he gives one last hard thrust and then starts to pulse deep inside of you. It’s more than enough to make you come too. You’re crying out his name before you can stop yourself in choked moans and gasps that can definitely be heard in the next building as your body shudders in overwhelming pleasure.

Butcher slumps against you as he finishes emptying himself in your body and you curl your arms around his neck, your cunt still fluttering around him as the waves of pleasure from your climax only slowly start to abate.

The cigarette lays forgotten going cold beside you as he finally pushes himself up and tucks his cock away. You can still feel his come leaking out of you, mixed with yours, warm and sticky on your thighs but you can’t even find the energy to cover yourself.

When he starts to slide your clothes back on for you, you make a little noise, tiredly protesting at the mess still between your legs, but he hums and shakes his head, the corner of his mouth lifting in that smirk he has with a glint in his hazel eyes. “Have to wait ‘til we get back down to your flat, love. You like it, dontcha? Feelin’ what ya made me do?” he adds, his voice still gruff and low with sex. 

You make a sound of resignation but it is kind of hot, his small possessive way of marking and claiming you. You’re his.

When he has your bottom half dressed again, he grabs your hand and tugs you up, helping you pull your bra and shirt back in to place. You feel completely boneless and blissed out, and you quirk your lips in a half smile as you look up at him. “Fuck Billy…” you whisper. 

He chuckles softly and pulls you close against his broad chest in a hug, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Let’s get ya back inside and practice some more with that pretty mouth o’ yours, love, eh? Need ya too much.”

~*~*~ Thanks again anon, hope you like! Also thanks to @butchersdarkbird for letting me chat about it, @shirley-girly for giving me the perfect idea for a line for Billy on her reblog of a previous post and @dwinchesterspie1967 for the idea of including extra of his devilish smirk ❤️

@jynx15 @kus-babygirl @weallhaveadestiny @karlurbanism

@dustie-faerie @violent-darkness @bohemianblasphemy

karl urban masterlist

[raointean]

Funniest responses* to the "What does "Blorbo" mean?" question

(In reference to my silmarillion fandom linguistics project, the results of which you can find in my "survey says" tag)

*not necessarily the full response, some are just fragments from longer responses. Also, I'm not filtering by "correct" or "incorrect" responses

Special Little Guy (gender neutral)

Lmao. That's like, my special little guy. He takes up my brain space. I'm rotating him.

you know how lilo from lilo and stitch has that doll she made, complete with backstory? basically like that

one's blorbo is a character one cares a lot about. it kind of has like... condescending or woobifying connotations? like expressing that Maedhros is your blorbo is sort of uh... one imagines like, a chibi Maedhros. cute, not scary. but it doesn't necessarily imply the speaker has distorted perception of the character in general, just a sort of fondness

The character a person wants to use as a doll/stuffed animal

A character who the author loves too much (and knows it)

"OMG Blorbo was in the new trailer for 5 seconds!" is a common statement

which often provokes... strange thoughts at 11pm.

Beloved character who you think about entirely too much and also enjoy putting in Situations

It implies some degress of being pathetic as well.

No relation to Blorbo Baggins.

The character you put under a microscope, put through the cheese grater, put into the salad spinner, and squeeze like a plushie.

A beloved character whom you want to both stick in a microwave and protect with all you have

character one fangirls* over (*gender neutral)

Just a little guy, whom I am deeply enamored of and just want to squish on the head and see what happens.

Favourive character, often pathetic, someone to pity as much as love

obsessed. baby. Will run my mouth off about them

the word "favorite" wasn't enough to encapsulate "the exact kind of character made specifically for me in the lab" either. my friendgroup started calling those types of characters "callouts" because they were calling you out by existing Exactly To Your Tastes

(not necessarily in a way that condones their actions, but deeply beloved nonetheless)

The "cinnamon roll" kind. Idk I love Namo but I'd never call him a blorbo, it just wouldn't feel right.

??

dear?

My personal favourite character, whom I want to adopt even if he's a dark lord

A particularly beloved (or beloathed-in-a-positive-way) character.

Generally seem to be problematic favs.

I think it was originally meant to be somewhat mocking, but it was wholeheartedly adopted and is now used unironically.

A favored character that usually is subjected to great amounts of trauma and or fluff.

A favourite character, usually male

The obsession character

Feanor/character you are unreasonably attached to esp. if they are a Bad Person TM

The character who is most special and beloved to you (and often that means you're gonna put them through The Horrors)

a character that makes you chew on the bars of your enclosure

Special little character from my shows(tm)

usually having an aura of kicked wet puppy (brimby)

You'd build a shrine to them

Idk, ask the children 😹. Er. Hot character you like? I'm sure people have very complex definitions explaining why they like the hot character but I don't take fandom that seriously.

Your guy (gender neutral), not a comfort character, but perhaps a character you would like to see experience the worst situations possible (affectionate)

occasionally blorbo from my floor (my cat)

Just a widdle pathetic guy 🥺😈

A favourite character, thuogh usually one you squash like a stress ball or squeaky toy rather than put gently on a shelf

Ungoliant

Guy (gender neutral) who I hold in my hand like a neat rock and look at

character whom i will put in a glass and shake

character you are putting in the metaphorical salad spinner

A favourite character, often a war criminal treated like they did nothing wrong, they are a little kitty

(character you're particularly attached to and usually put in physically and/or mentally torturous situations for fun)

A character you’ve imprinted on and like seeing in misery. They’re your wet cat you enjoy pouring water on but also toweling off

Your favorite character, to whom no harm may come (except in the service of angst)

my guy. my friend my buddy. the person

Literally your favourite ever character, but not like you want to f*ck them, more like "how much can i let them suffer?"

Your favouritest character from media that you like to put in all kinds of situations, but is not morally problematic.

favourite character you want to bully

a fictional character that you like to an obsessive amount, typically more than other favourite characters; your specialist little guy; someone you are unwell about; you don’t always have to like your blorbo per day but they must take up constant thought space

[saltpepperbeard]

Poison into Positivity: A List of What I Liked in OFMD S2

Hello hello everyone! Things have been a little rough around here. Even away from the more heated takes, I've still seen a few "down in the dumps" murmurs. To which, I'm giving y'all big hugs, but also offering up some little bits of warmth! I wanted to share quite a few bullets of the things I enjoyed about this season. Maybe it'll serve as a reminder, or maybe it'll just serve as a chaotic, silly little read as per usual PFFF.

But I invite you to read along, and even add some of your own points should you feel inclined! Also, this might not even be my full list; these are just the ones that came to me quickly/off the top of my head. Still, let's dive on down like a fantastical, dazzling goldfish, shall we?

All the callbacks/parallels. My goodness. When I tell you I'm a SLUT for metaphors/parallels/callbacks/etc etc. Seeing so many things and being able to just *Leonardo Dicaprio pointing meme.* I know people might not share that same opinion because some might view it to be excessive, but I personally LOVED being able to point at my screen and be like "oH EYYYYYYY!!!" Maybe because it makes for such immaculate gifset/meta material <3 SJKJDLHSK

The costuming and makeup. WHEN THEY TALKED AT ECCC ABOUT EVERYONE GETTING HOTTER, THEY WERE NOT KIDDING LMAO. EVERYONE LOOKED SO, SO GOOD. and listen, i am on my knees begging for them to give ed with his hair up back to us. i need Her back,,,ALSO, SOMETHING SOMETHING COMPLICATED EMOTIONS TOWARDS STEDE'S LATTER HALF LOOK, BUT ALSO...GOD DAMN, MR. DARBY,,,,,,

Speaking of Mr. Darby, the acting in this season. The ACTTTINNNGG. Everyone acted their ASSES off. Everyone put their entire piratussies into this season. Though, I'm PARTICULARLY impressed with Taika and Rhys, because again with their "oh we're comedians lol so idk drama can be Difficult Difficult Lemon Difficult." MMMM I THINK THE FUCK NOT, MY GUYS LMAO??? They both did SO well with all the drama and painful moments. The acting in episodes 2, 3, 6, and 7 in particular like...God. GOD!!!

I loved so many characters in this season, and I'll of course have to give two individual shoutouts to my two favorite new ladies, but man. LET'S GO FRENCHIE!!! ALWAYS A DELIGHT!!! FANG/KEVIN MY ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART. JIM SERVING ABSOLUTE FUCKING GENDER THIS SEASON. OLU OLU DARLING OLU. PETE NEVER MISSING WITH HIS ONELINERS. LUCIUS BEING SO THEATRICAL AHDJKSDK LIKE NATHAN PLEASE YOU KILL ME. ROACH MAKING ME LAUGH OUT LOUD NUMEROUS TIMES AS HE DOES. WEE JOHN AND HIS KNITTING AND DRAG!!! AND THEN OF COURSE MY DEARLY BELOVEDS, ED AND STEDE. I JUST LOVE THEMMMMM!!! But okay okay okay-

Zheng my beloved. I just love this badass pirate queen with her sweet little pigtails and her IMMACULATE LINE DELIVERIES SDHJKSKL. A lot of my favorite deliveries from the entire season came from her quite honestly. Please see: "Girl, how ARE you?" and "Hiiiiiii. I KNOWWW it's been a day" and "I've killed mediocre men. I've killed exceptional men. But you're the worst kind: a mediocre man who thinks he's exceptional."

AND ARCHIE MY BELOVED. She kills me because I remember seeing like, those ~*~audition tape whispers~*~ WAY back in the day, and subsequently thinking she was going to be quite a different character. Only for this silly goofy bubbly energetic darling to pop up and snag my heart. HER deliveries kill me also, like when she goes "Like...STEDE Stede?" and the whole "I was IN the fuckin' snake!" also hhngngngngnershkfhslkds tattooed ladies Hot :(

Speaking of which, the comedy. THE DELIVERIES. THE WAY I LAUGHED OUT LOUD NUMEROUS TIMES THROUGHOUT, EVEN WITH THE DEEP UNDERCURRENT OF DRAMA/ANGST. The whole bit where Stede is in hysterics over his cursed coat is just hsjkdhsklds; it will NEVER not make me wheeze. And then, like I said, almost EVERYTHING Pete says this season kills me; another thing that will never not make me laugh is "a doggie...?" weird little pirate show with weird little humor my beloved

The ROMANCE??? I genuinely was going into the season with the expectation of getting maybe like, one or two Gentlebeard kisses. Imagine my shock and utter delight when we ended up with FOUR, AS WELL AS AN INTIMATE SCENE, THE LETTER SCENES, AND THE LOVE PROFESSIONS. Like, one of them dropping a legitimate "I love you" felt like an unrealistic expectation--the HIGHEST dream tier really. And then wouldn't you know it. And that doesn't even account for all the rest of the couples either! The murder wives having their chaotic little moments of fucked up affection??? LUCIUS AND PETE GETTING ENGAGED AND THEN MARRIED??? HELLO??????

The sets! I know people have pointed out that the world felt a bit simplified this time around, due to budget restraints and what have you. But I still loved what they did with the world even with the various constraints. The market in episode 6 is a PARTICULAR favorite of mine; it's just so lush and colorful. I also love what they did with The Revenge during episode 6 too!

Also, this might be an unpopular opinion, but I really actually liked that they filmed on location. First of all, love that the Kiwis got to be right at home in Aotearoa. Love that they have an even more special connection to the show now. But second of all, I just like when scenery is...actually THERE? It feels way more TANGIBLE. Don't get me wrong; that hugeass wraparound screen that they use to film a lot of sets is a technological marvel. But I'm a sucker for practical.

The deeper and more complex dives into character motivations/trauma. Like, homie lol...When I tell you episodes 6 and 7 utterly set my brain alight in the best way possible. I was CHUGGING through thoughts. You know those gifs where someone is walking around and ranting/passionately talking,,, yeah. Yeah. Maybe because a lot of it "struck a chord" with me indeed, but I love love LOVE getting brain food like that.

Speaking of brain food, in PARTICULAR, the deeper dives into Ed's self-loathing and into Stede's troubles with confidence and masculinity. A lot of Stede's choices were fueled by those two things, and it was SO friggin fun to catch all of them, put them in a jar, and shake them around. I've seen a lot of people fearing his actions in the latter half were out of character, but to me, I don't see it that way. I just see a man who has been so spurned, so left behind, and SO deprived, a man who is stuck thinking he has to be someone else to mean something. And I think that plays a lot into even the EARLIEST developments we saw in season 1, so it was just so intriguing to watch everything messily play out.

THE INNKEEPER. THE INNKEEPER MY BELOVED. SO much about that episode absolutely has my heart. All the different developments, the stakes, the pacing, and the payoff at the end. Not to mention that I had a FEELING that mysterious figure in the trailers was Hornigold, so it was so SO validating to see him pop up PFFF. And also, all those dream/gravy basket sequences were so so good too. I don't know if it's the chemistry between Taika and Mark, or the deeper symbolism, or the lines that have become vocal stims for me SJKDLS (please see: ooOOoooO eddie eddie eddie...you're laying some heavy shit on me, bro), but man. MAN.

And this one gets its own bullet because of course it does: the fucking mermaid scene. Like, are we kidding. ARE WE KIDDING. THE ROMANCE OF IT ALL? THE FANTASTICAL-NESS INDEED?? THE WAY IT WAS ALL FUCKING PRACTICAL AND RHYS SWAM DOWN TO TAIKA AS A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GOLDFISH AND THEY HAD TO THROW HEART EYES AT EACH OTHER UNDERWATER??? WHAT THE FUCK!!! And don't even get me started on Kate Bush lol. This Woman's Work might easily be one of my favorite songs, if not my FAVORITE song from the season. And man. Man. The whole meaning behind Ed seeing Stede as this beautiful, sparkly being, and not some hypermasculine/extraordinary thing. He fell in love with Stede for who Stede really is. And so I ADORE that acknowledgement.

Speaking of songs, the MUSIC!!! Absolute bangers all throughout. And I loved how there seemed to be even more intermixed within the episodes. Like God... "These are the kids..." 🗣️ HELLO MY LOVE I HEARD A KISS FROM YOU 🦗🦟🦗🦟🦗🦟 . And all the beautiful classic piano pieces and NINA SIMONE AND JUST HSJKDHSFJKLHSKD????

Okay, I've always had and STILL have complicated thoughts and opinions on Izzy, but man, seeing him interact with the Revenge Crew was really something. Seeing Stede's influence come over the lot of them like a warm blanket, extending its welcoming and familial hands...It was just lovely. I love seeing our little sea family care for each other so much. They've probably all hurt so so much in different ways, so to see them all being a collective heart is just so nice.

Speaking of which, the queerness of it all, the queer celebration of it all. The way the whole crew is just...a representation of queer people finding each other, and subsequently finding love and family in each other. Like, when the whole world wants to cast you out, you pull each other in. When no one else wants you, you take refuge in each other. And just...the joy, beauty, and wonder that can be found in that.

And speaking of which x2, the overall care that was put into the entire thing, the effort that was put into the entire thing. I know Max fucked us over with the budget, which subsequently fucked things like the intricacy, the amount of characters, and especially the pacing. But, I don't know; I personally could still tell everyone involved was trying so so hard to deliver for us. Based on the little details, the little callbacks, and the little moments that felt so catered to us, it just seemed so...gifted to us. Not to mention of course, the way they so deliberately chose to end on a hopeful note in case we never get a third season. They care about us. They've always cherished our excitement and passion, so it just...idk; it feels so special to have a bit more of an intimate connection like that. I've never been involved with a piece of media that so avidly SEES its audience, and celebrates along with us. So, despite everything, despite any sort of troubles, despite any sort of lows, that's a big part of what has me clutching all of this so closely to my chest. And I really hope they can still see that love, because I want nothing more than for them to see this beautiful story through.

Also, getting to enjoy this with everyone. Getting to ride the wave from the beginning of filming, all the way through the finale. Getting to see all the excitement, all the theories, all the art, all the fanfiction, all the gif sets, all the meta, and everything in between. It has carried me through some nastiness in my personal life, and has subsequently served as a very welcomed distraction. It's been such a pleasure getting to delight in this new content with you all, and I hope we get to do so into the future. <3

[pansy-picnics]

No idea if they would since they all live in a castle but how do you think the uknighted parents each would deal with empty nest syndrome?

AUDJSJSD NGL I’VE KINDA BEEN HOPING FOR A QUESTION LIKE THIS BC!! they DO. and they are NOT good at it. AT ALL.

ukd are very adamant on giving their kids the freedom they never had growing up, so as long as they’re managing their own duties they’re basically free to do whatever (though eugene can be a Little overprotective sometimes he means well). of course bc ilmari’s adopted and isn’t of any royal blood they end up being the first to leave the nest… i’ve already discussed that vaguely here, so this time i’m gonna talk more abt ryder!!

being the eldest of the twins ryder is technically supposed to take on the throne to corona, and people have a LOT of high expectations from him, especially other nobles/those who were….less than pleased with rapunzel’s approach to ruling. he’s basically seen as the “light” of corona and has been held on a pedestal since he was very young, which leads him to repress himself and puts a lot of strain on his relationships for many years- especially with alina who’s often left in his shadow (and he doesn’t mind it per se!!! but he does feel like her life is pretty directionless, and she’s always been rather dependent on ryder bc of it).

all this to say, eventually on their 18th birthday everything boils over and leads to a nasty fight between the twins. they both kinda realize that they need to grow up and branch out in their own ways- and ryder in particular realizes that he rlly just needs to get Away for a while. so going to help edmund in the dark kingdom seems like a pretty good way to gain some new perspectives!!

after all the pressure she was under herself, rapunzel understands this more than anything…..but that doesn’t make it any easier for her (or cass and eugene, for that matter) to accept. :’3

idk if any of you guys watched steven universe future, but i think they’d all be like this final scene like. ALMOST WORD FOR WORD LMFAO

in fact as soon as ryder even suggests the idea to rapunzel shes awkwardly slipping out of their painting session and running to cass and eugene in TEARS and they cry for a good 3 hours but obviously they want to be SUPPORTIVE and STRONG for their BOY!!! so they pull themselves together and when he brings it up again at dinner they’re like. “omg thats great!!! ^_^” and ryder is just like ?????????

and ryders almost a little hurt that they seem so unfazed so he tries to prod them like. Aren’t you guys upset. but they don’t budge. and so obviously right at the end as he’s saying goodbye to everyone and they’re STILL nonchalant abt it he just bursts into tears like “WHY AREN’T YOU GUYS SAD IM LEAVING :(“ and IMMEDIATELY the three of them all jsut run to him BAWLING

ryder rlly enjoys his time in the dark kingdom actually. obviously edmund and the brotherhood have a Lot of flaws in their approach to ruling….but that’s not rlly what ryder needs anyways. i think they’re very goal oriented and focused on what they can do as a unit rather than what other people think of them, and that’s a lesson ryder definitely needs to learn. not to mention he brings a lot of color to the place (both in a literal and metaphorical sense).

alina pretty much stays in corona tho…which her parents certainly aren’t complaining about. i think he really needs some time to stand up and take on more responsibility without ryder stepping in for him. the twins wont be taking on the thrones anytime soon, but i think when they do, they’ll end up switching- so ryder will be the king of the dark kingdom, and alina will take on the role as queen of corona. alina’s always had deeper ties to her kingdom than ryder did…not to his fault, but the pressure he’s had put on him just made it hard for him to focus on the things that Mattered, yk? he’s ended up being very stuck in his status, while alina has been a lot more down to earth and has always felt a closer connection to the public, if that makes sense… :3

but ryder and ilmari still visit all the time, and ilmari will take over the library one day too…like, raps, cass and eugene haven’t been Perfect parents by any means, but they’ve never failed to make sure their kids know just how strong, capable and loved they are. even though it hurts to see them go (and poor alina definitely has to deal with their theatrics and coddling for YEARS while her older siblings are gone), it’s very clear that no matter where they go, their kids will always know their home is with them, yk??? they love their parents so much and it just makes me so emo😭😭😭

additionally, i think uknighted dream kind of do some equivalent of fostering long after their own kiddos leave the nest… the three of them do a lot of community work, they have a lot of programs instilled for struggling families and kids alike. they end up helping pretty closely with a lot of the orphanages, not only with funding but also by putting in their own work. they visit a lot, come to tons of events…they end up forming a lot of bonds with the kids individually, or occasionally take them in when there isn’t anywhere else for them to go.

sometimes they know these kids for years, sometimes only for a few weeks…but they always try to stay in contact with them regardless. and even when that isn’t possible, they never forget about any of the kids they’ve met….so by the time they’re all old and grey, they basically have hundreds of pseudo-kids and grandkids all across the seven kingdoms, and in a way, their nest never really feels completely empty 🥹🫶

[theoldoor]

Some Talia + Post-talia content with these bumsOUUOUHOUHUH IM FUCKKIN GSIISSIICKCK

During Talia, Fenrir had lost the ability to read considering his worsening eyesight and lack of interaction with literary medias. He used to teach the kids at the orphanages and people of his own clan, but now he’s with the majority of those who can’t read. (HEADCANON PART) It’s something Fenrir was very insecure about. He grew up lacking education and had to teach himself a lot of things through the library of the estate he was held in and he felt behind his peers for that. He speaks when he needs to around those he’s not close by and when he does he makes sure to check the thing he was about to say in his head multiple times so that he wouldn’t say the “wrong thing.” When someone pointed out an information, whether if they’re right or wrong, Fenrir’s first instinct is to believe them as he doesn’t think he’s smart enough to confirm whatever he was saying, even if it was common sense.

Aventurine came around, he was also one to teach himself a lot of things too considering his background. But Aventurine had his eyesight and he still had papers and stuff from the things he brought along for the Talia mission - he could still read. (HEADCANON PART) The reason why Fenrir knew how to read a few parts at the end of the quest, despite claiming to be illiterate the whole thing maybe was because Aventurine taught him to read along the way - accommodating his impaired vision too.

HERMIA’S CONCEPT WAAA I LOVE HERRRR she’s so >:^ she’s like my niece but i do have to focus on building her character more. she’s more fleshed out in combat and abilities more than loreeee. after im done with her ill move onto stella and bronte lol. she’s tuxedo cat themed, hence her hair and the faux cat ears + hetero chromia.

Fenrir is popular with the kids of Avidity for his gentleness, patience and domestic nature. It was something he brought alongside him from his upbringing. He was born into servitude and a “domesticated dog will always be haunted by the call of the wild”. This is also something that he does genuinely, not to use them for any gain for himself - he believes that kids should be taught kindness before brutality. To him, traces of humanity is above all, considering where he was raised.

Caring for them also gain him quite a reputation, no one really bothers to handle the kids in Talia - As long as they live kinda ideal they got going on there. So Fenrir took the “burden” of the children and let the clan go do their things with no worries.

Though Fenrir feared death twice as others, that also means he valued life twice as others too. He went too far, he has lived this long, it’d be a burden not to see another day and see all your hard work go to waste because you wanted a permanent solution to a temporary phase of your life. He believes that kids should be living by that too. Idk man he’s a caring older brother because he sees himself in these kids and he did not want them to go through whatever he did.

Especially with Hermia, he loves her most and same goes with her. Hermia is the only one who was willing to stick by Fenrir’s side even when he kicked her away (metaphorically) and they’re awfully dependent on one another. Hermia provides Fenrir with the accommodation he needed for his impaired vision and comfort, in return Fenrir brought her closer to the clan and became her older brother (found family way) - he took care of her in every part.

Fenrir was a brutal and cruel man, that doesn’t mean he was not a man.

He has humanity, and that’s why he was discarded to the wasteland of Talia. I think Talia’s concept of “recycling” everything works well - especially for characters like Aventurine and Fenrir. “To be reborn is to live again.”

The two are cruel because they’re survivors. They’re cruel so they can see another day not because they wanted to. They were taught and force to be cruel in this current life. But just imagine, if everything reverted, if they get to be recycled and experience the side of life that runs rather the side that crawls. But to live again also means you gotta go through all the struggles again,

I wrote for the quest for Aventurine to go through everything in Sigonia again as the price for having a family again LOL what a nice bet you made with the devil there aventurine (he made a bet and he “lost” for the first time) and for Fenrir he was in the recycling process during talia and post talia is when he finished recycling ehheuehe.

ooouuuhh he wants that cookie so fuckin bad EUEHUEHUAAAUGGGH jealous fenrir hello

but yk, i dont want aventurine to be the punching bag. he struggled a bit when he came back to pier point and has to act like everything was normal - even given the purple heart equivalent for whatever he contributed during Talia but he didn’t want that at all. Imagine getting honored and praised for losing your loved ones, that shit mustv sucked bro

so fenrir came back, it works well with his dog motif on how he keeps crawling back no matter what. he will always bring back the ball you told him to fetch. loyal as a mutt - “desperate dogs bite harder than wild ones” type shit idk man but when they’re back it’s just “ok” again. Aventurine had a little closer connection and so does Fenrir- now they’re up to some silly shits in penacony or whatnot lol

just like

they went through a lot, but that doesnt strip away their humanity. human has been humans and will always be.

[marshmallowwitharubberband]

I have a complicated relationship with Jiang Cheng.

As a character, I love his complexity, but I especially love how realistically it portrays one of the real-life outcomes of growing up in a violent, emotionally-repressive environment. When every display of emotion is labeled as weakness and answered with violence, some people eventually become programmed to turn any emotion into agression, see everything as an attack, and become secretly-people-pleasers with zero tolerance to frustration.

Actually, the Jiang siblings are excellent portraits of the different outcomes of what growing up in violence can do to you: you either become small and unnoticeable to survive, you become the kindest person ever so no one goes through the same, your self-worth gets reduced to what you can do for others, you go into substance abuse...

Thinking about it, I wouldn't be surprised if MXTX studied psychology in some form because the personalities resulting of her character's backgrounds are surprisingly realistic, for the most part, but back to Cheng-Cheng.

Guy had all the pressure put on him by his emotions-hating helicopter mom. Yanli got a pass for being a woman and being "destined" to be a wife, and maybe Mme. Yu may have projected a little, maybe she thought if she, herself, was sweeter and meeker JFM would treat her better? Idk, but the fact is, Yanli was allowed to not be "strong" ('Cause Mommy Yu is definitely the type of person to equal strength to agression). WWX "didn't count" because he was just a servant, so she merely ground his self-worth into the dirt.

Poor Jiang Cheng had to bear the brunt of his mom's horrible expectations and it broke him. His agression is more like a scared animal's, he lashes out his fear and frustration as violence because it's the only "acceptable" way, the only way he learned to be taken seriously or handle emotions at all. Much like today's wall-punching macho wannabes.

I wouldn't be surprised if Jiang Cheng, in a modern AU, would be sucked into the red pill rhetoric, he's exactly the lonely, stressed, emotionally hurt and vulnerable demographic those jerks target.

So yeah, he is a complex character with very valid motivations and a horribly tragic story handled in a very realistic way, I love that.

As a person, though, I really, really hate him and admit that, at some points in the book I would skip over his dialogue because yeah, yeah, your suffering, your sacrifices, boo hoo, poor you, my god, just shut up, everyone in this place has suffered and lost and is majorly messed up, you're not special! (At least he didn't actively murder anyone)

But I am aware it's because he reminds me, uncannily accurately, of someone who irl emotionally abused me all through childhood while the other adults around me did nothing. They, too, were obsessed with what I "owed" them both literally and metaphorically, and showed their affection with criticism, aggressiveness, and irate explosions. And while I understand them more now and the cycle of violence they were a victim of, I cannot forgive their actions. And I kin Wei Wuxian too hard to ever forgive Jiang Cheng.

But I do like how The Untamed softened him a lot and took care to emphasize that he was just an insecure kid who wanted to be accepted and the universe made him its chew toy. It re-portrayed him as that younger sibling who just wants to be included in his big bro's adventures and keeps being pushed aside by everybody. TU JC is my sweet little baby and needs a hug.

Book JC can go fry asparagus.

[figureofdismay]

i just. My Id really wants a fic where Jewish/Jewish heritage Mulder pushes back on some of Scully's cultural Xtianity (which is different than her actual faith, please keep in mind) - her and the show's Xtian universalization, because there are definitely episodes about her faith where she and the show are gifted the framing of 'faith and religion are a strict binary, you either believe in the Xtian God or you don't believe in anything at all.' Which isn't flattering for the show or the character, and isn't really how Scully is written outside of those episodes. Yet it's still a noticeable recurring theme.

And then there's Kaddish, where her behavior is very bad and disrespectful/religiously bigoted and it's left with absolutely 0 pushback. Which again, is i think accidental in the writing, which had already made the old same golem-murder-zombie blunder (for plot reasons), which takes up enough attention that the nagging things about her behavior with the orthodox community don't seem that important in comparison, but they do bug me.

idk in a fantasy world where the writers were not crafting scripts about theology without apparently knowing much beyond interesting but not necessarily correct mysticized factoids, I would at least have Mulder stop her in one of those discussions and point out, "If I did believe in The Guy, I wouldn't be believing in the same Guy that you grew up with in your catechism. They share certain things, yes, but from a different direction. They're different Guys. You know that they're different Guys, right?"

Because I do not think anyone writing the show was aware of that part. And i mean, a lot of people, then and presentlu are not aware of that part. But it's. A fairly important part, even for atheist and non-observant Jews. It's a different Guy we're not believing in or mainly metaphorically believing in.

[itsnothingofinterest]

Hey, Hope you're having good Holidays? 👋

Do you think there's going to be a big twist coming up in bnha?

Or maybe a twist big villain or something?

Because all the other villains have been taken out of commission and there's still doesn't seem to be any way for deku to save/defeat shigaraki. (Nothing that we've been shown so far.)

Because shigaraki does seem to be more powerful than deku and even if they do FINALLY start talking, deku seems to be in the same place 'ideal wise' as he was several arcs ago.

Like what could deku say that could prove his point (not that he really has much of a point, as he still hasn't really even thought about trying to fix hero society's giant flaws) to shigaraki now?

Even more, what could deku do, since he's still focusing on the crying child inside shigaraki and not what made the crying child?

Well my answers about the same as it's been for a long while now; I agree Deku's not in the right headspace to save Tomura and probably can't cram the character development to get into that headspace in at the last second before/during his metaphorical final exam here. He still needs to further develop his own views on things if he wants to challenge & change Tomura's views. Maybe Deku could convince him the entire country's not a lost cause and he shouldn't destroy it within a few chapters, but there's a massive gap between that and actually saving him the way we usually mean. The fact the other villains have not really been saved either so far doesn't really help my opinion of Deku's chances.

So yes I do expect a big twist and, same as ever, I expect that twist to be that this is not the final arc and we'll get a My Hero part 2 after Hori takes a long break. It's basically the only real meaningful twist I can think of at this point that'd resolve this time conflict without rushing resolutions that should not be rushed. Especially with Kurogiri (& maybe Machia if he’s alive) still left as dangling plot threads that could potentially recover the villains.

(Though I would not hate it, half just because I think it'd be funny, if the HC president came out of nowhere to reveal she survived clone-stro and is taking over as big bad so that Deku...idk, reevaluates the system he's protecting or something.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Although while we're discussing where Deku is, ideal-wise, I have been meaning to go over my current criticisms with him for a bit; which to discuss below a cut:

Is mainly that he’s kind of just All Might again. He's like All Might in nearly every way that counts and his only aspiration is to be All Might 2 and save everyone he can like All Might did. I mean I’ve seen people sometimes say "no Deku’s totally different and better than All Might in this or that way" but those ways often seem to assume All Might was a lot worse, less kind, and more independent than he really was.

(And also that Deku is less independent than he really is; just compare this arc to Kamino, where they both work alongside their hero peers...until they feel the need to take on the final boss 1v1.)

Like, as someone critical of the hero society All Might built, I’ll bet I often come off as thinking All Might wasn’t a good hero. But that’s not so, I think All Might did the best he could have done, and moreover the best anyone could’ve done trying to fix things the way he did. I doubt anyone could've hero'd much better than him. If Deku were sent back in time to replace All Might, the best he could’ve done is about what All Might did. And if All Might faced all the hurdles Deku has, at the same power level for each, I believe he’d have managed at least as happy an ending to every arc.

So the great hurdle of this all is: All Might was the greatest hero he could possibly have been...but he also wasn't enough. The various ways the League were driven to villainy to form the group at all is proof of that. And that's why a rehash sequel to him won't be enough either. I understand why Deku and everyone else admires All Might, but he can't be doing the same things expecting much better results. If he does, then even if he does save Tomura here in the same way the rest of the League has been "saved" so far (a tall order already when Tomura's made clear he doesn't want another All Might), I fear he'll just face another League led by another Tomura in the future; another Tenko who was failed by Deku this time.

[eri-pl]

So I was thinking about vampire, scion-of-Ungolianth Luthien from Unfinished Tales (as you do), and about Arwen as Luthien 2.0 and Elrond running a hotel, and about Beren being Just a Guy and I got some hotel Transylvania vibes. (it is something my kids watched)

Also, Luthien and Ungolianth, weaving shadows and stealing lights (to recap a post I saw a couple days ago); but also Miriel and Vaire weaving; Miriel and Luthien dying when they should theoretically not die. Also, Ungoliant almost ate Morgoth and Luthien pulled out a heist on him (both cases over the Silmarils).

There is something in there. I don't know what but something.

Also, we aren't told explicitly who sang what in the Ainulindale and I would assume many of the Ainur did at least some discordant notes, it wasn't a clear split through it all, it was confusion and sort of a clear split near the end. But Ungolianth being sung into (I won't say "existence" yet but... the draft of existence?) by Melkor, and in smaller amounts Vaire and Melian fits with all that.

(And even if we are told that "All the Ainur sang properly except those few that are now evil", it's elven censorship and simplification, and of course it isn't a fact.)

Also, wait, wait! Miriel. weaving and textile arts. Health problems. What if during the march West they passed a place where Ungoliant had lived before and Miriel found a lot of beautiful, fine webs, that were totally not subtly toxic, and gathered them for her crafts?

Health tip: spider venom is not safe for pregnancy. It can cause preeclampsia, post-partum depression and is mutagenic to the baby (for example making them a genius, but also emotionally instable and giving them fire powers).

And then in the Third Age we have Shelob, which... I have no idea if this gives us something interesting.

It could be interesting to have a fic where Arwen (for some reason, like "help my bf in his quest") joins the fellowship, but then splits with Aragorn, ends up in Cirith Ungol (somehow) and she can sort of command Shelob. Because. IDK why exactly, but because she looks like Luthien and something...? especially Arwen with the phial. Meanwhile, Aragorn isn't doing as well as in the books, so Arwen has to provide a distraction for Sauron. the distraction is a spider. (And also a dog. She should really, really get a dog.)

Some more crack: If Miriel was a spider, she'd eaten Finwe after Feanor-making and the world would have less problems. Hmm... Maybe not doing it was why she got sick?

Miriel the descendent of Ungoliant (Metaphorically, ok? Ungoliant bit her, Spiderman-style)! Feanor being part-spider! All Feanorians being part-spider! Maedhros would have more hands, this would help. Celebrimbor with a venomous bite. Spidermanelf Celegorm.

[daphnebowen]

percy jackson episode five thoughts

I skipped a couple episodes where I wrote down my thoughts, but I'm about to rewatch and write don't worry! warning: lots of screaming, fangirling, heart attacks, and nonsense below :))

also these are all just copied straight from the notebook I use when I'm writing down my thoughts and I barely proofread them :)

Annabeths trust in Percy being alive is literally just like her belief that Luke is alive later on and even though it's kinda sorta different (or at least people are gonna treat it that way) I'm all here for it

WHY WERE THE FATES SO CREEPY HELLO

AAAAAHHHH THE PERCABETH HUGGGG I IGNORED SO MANY SPOILERS AND IM SO GLAD 2 minutes in and I'm already fangirling so hard haha

is Grover blushing at them??

"surprise" omg Walker 😭🥹

the droplet of water clinging to walkers chin is so distracting

"I'm the last person to realize this aren't I?" It's okay Percy

his eyes are SO FREAKING BLUE it's giving zac efron from hsm2

"it doesn't have to be a thing, yk. That you hugged me." OHKAY HES NOT ENTIRE CLULESS THIS IS FAN SERVICE RIGHT HERE WE KNOW THAT IT MOST ABSOLUTELY WILL BE A THING LMAO and annabeths "oh boy" and Grover's clear exasperation HAHAH

where the heck did the motorcycle go lol we know it's ares but like it doesn't take that long to drive

"we're all gonna die... eventually" wise words Percy wise words

ugh the fact that it's Luke's string 💔

Ares ‼️‼️‼️

Ok but why is ares literally EXACTLY how I thought he would be?!?!

"that's my cousin? what kind of family is this?" A dysfunctional one for sure, sorry Percy you're in for a rough ride

ares starting a fight on twitter is ABSOLUTELY CRAZY and yet so in character lmao

"I'm gonna kill him" same Percy SAME I will gladly help you - although all things considered I am glad they decided to keep delinquent percy in the show

they keep bringing up the "push someone down a flight of stairs" thing! There's no way this is just a coincidence anymore, what with chalice of the gods and earlier on with Annabeth and like... they're obviously doing it on purpose. is that gonna be the shows new thing?? trusting someone enough so that if they can push you down the stairs they're the one? idk man, love the metaphor tho

PLS LET THERE BE THE ZOO TRUCK SCENE OH MY PLS

leah's eyebrow quirk is 💋

WATERLAND IS PERFECT OMG

walker portrayed Percy's anxiety and nervousness and scaredness (is that a word?) perfectly

Can't tell if Grover is actually a history buff or playing Ares so he will talk but that scene was actually cool, I like the change they made to have Grover stay behind (this was what I wrote originally, but now after seeing peoples interpretations and opinions and things I know he was playing ares and I think it's BRILLIANT how smartly he played the god of war. Good for you buddy!)

"I didn't say anything" "I can feel you thinking it" OHKAY THEN

thrill ride of love = flawless. No words. I am speechless.

"I hate kids" relatable

ARES IS ACTUALLY BEING SMART AND MAKING SENSE FOR ONCE not to mention he's so funny and so relatable!

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH SEAWEED BRAIN ALERT 🚨 SEAWEED BRAIN ALERT 🚨 SHE CALLED HIM SEAWEED BRAIN AND I LOVED IT never mind the actual SCREAM i let out lmao

is Annabeth about to cry?!?!

yeah she's definitely about to cry

why am I so scared. This cannot be happening. What?? What??? he's the main character. main characters don't die. well except for Magnus chase BUT THOSE ARE DIFFERENT GODS AND DIFFERENT RULES NO WALKER

why am I actually so scared about this chair thing omg

(I would just like to say that I was so speechless and in shock throughout the whole chair thing, so I didn't write down a single quote but I loved them all I just was in too much shock to pause the show lol)

um.

WHAT. JUST. HAPPENED.

WHY IS MY BABY GOLD

WHY IS MY CHILD GOLDDDD

I AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW THIS DEFINITELY DIDNT HAPPEN IN THE BOOKS MY BRAIN IS TOO SLOW FOR THIS 😭😭😭

oh my gosh ITS HEPHEASTUS

dude the way that door suddenly opened scared the crap out of me

leah is absolutely shining as Annabeth, her monologue was so profound and heartfelt, love that addition 💗

THAT CLIFFHANGER GOES CRAZYYYY

okay of course those of us who read the books know who really stole the lightning bolt and stuff but the clueless fools just watching the show are gonna be like OMG WHO WHO and even if they piece it together technically they'll only be half right. and their confusion and confidence in what they think they know is going to be SO entertaining in the coming weeks hehehehe and even throughout the whole series if we continue to get green lights for the series

but yes that episode was utter perfection! Now for the teaser...

WHO DID PERCY JUST TACKLE EXCUSE ME

duuuuude. The lotus casino is MASSIVE and actually super pretty I cannot wait for the episode tomorrow!

WHY IS PERCY DRIVING OMG THIS IS NOT LEGAL although tell me why he is literally better at driving than I am HAHAHAHAHAH

ugh and that is it! Those are all my random thoughts from the episode! thanks for reading :))

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

What I think Violetta and Soy Luna character’s favorite animes are*

*I am only going from animes I myself have seen or are familiar with. I know for a fact that a LOT of animes were popular in Latam that logically the characters should have been familiar with and possibly would have fitted better as their favorite. However, there is a lot of animes I have seen/am familiar with that I know was popular in latam, too (Candy Candy especially). And the ones that weren’t popular there that I bring up… well, let’s just say it was just like with a lot of us, they found it later in life and was like ”omg where has this been all my life” and watched it on a pirate site.

Violetta: Hello! Sandybell. She got very inspired by Sandybell making a garden for her (supposedly) dead mother and she wanted to do it too. She also liked the way Sandybell traveled across Europe, the way she also did.

Luna: Sailor Moon. How can she not, it’s moon themed /j I also think Luna really saw herself in Usagi and appreciated there was a main character that was clumsy, often late, ditzy and didn’t get the best grades just like her, and how despite that still could kick ass and save the world.

Francesca: Lady Oscar. Ok this was kinda inspired by Lodo herself posting a photo with a Lady Oscar T-shirt, and some time later answering an ask about periods with ”think about Lady Oscar! She also had her period under all of those tight suits and armor, and she could still be a badass!”. It was also kinda inspired by me knowing just how fucking popular Lady Oscar was in Italy… but yeah I also feel like Fran was very fascinated with it.

Nina: Candy Candy. I think Nina most of all was fascinated with the history aspects, especially as they reached the WWI parts. But she also loved how Candy seemed to experience so much hardships, and yet still could keep going and be so strong. It felt very inspiring, especially as her parents were fighting in the background. Things will get better.

Camila: Oniisama e. She found this anime when she was a little older, and goes around bragging about how "no one knows about it except for her". She loved how basically every character was a lesbian (at least, they were in her head), and she called them cowards every time they "forced" them into hetero relationships. But she also just loved all the female friendships in general and got slightly annoyed whenever they focused on any boy.

Simón: I think also Sailor Moon, because I think he had a crush on Tuxedo Mask and him and Luna played that they were Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask a lot when they were kids. But, I think he also really liked Pokémon.

Naty: The Moomins anime. As she grew up in Spain, she got the castellano dub and got so surprised when she moved to Argentina and found out there was a latino dub they had there instead. Anyway, she really loved the whole atmosphere and vibes of the moomins and wished she could live in that utopia.

Ámbar: I think as a child she was only allowed to watch Candy Candy, as Sharon had seen it herself as a child and approved of it (I feel like Sharon had a list of pre-approved kids shows and movies Ámbar could watch), but then once she grew older she discovered Revolutionary Girl Utena. And she just fell in love with it. She has rewatched it so many times, always finding new ways to interpret the metaphors and allegories. She also has some deep emotions about and she didn't realize until much later why she felt so strongly about it...

Ludmila: Immediately I'm like... Starzinger... because it's a space adventure. I do not have much else to go from this lmao (because I have not at all properly watched the anime, just random swedubbed clips). However, it also feels like Ludmila's vibe.

Ramiro: He is a big Pokémon boy. I literally imagine him running around the school yard as a kid pretending to be James from Team Rocket. I can see him being into One Piece, too.

Leon: I don't know why, but Digimon. It just seems like his vibe idk.

Jim: Pretty Cure, the first show specifically. I think she always wanted a best friend she could be a magical girl with <3

Diego: Silver Fang. I know this anime was only popular and even translated in very few countries, but I believe Diego managed to find it somehow (maybe a fansubbed version on an old pirate site that no longer exists) and just thought it was the most edgy thing ever. But then he got super scared of bears for years due to it.

Yam: Oh, Revolutionary Girl Utena, but she also has made it her mission to watch every sapphic and sapphic-coded animes ever. She's also a big fan of underrated ones like Oniisama e. She has also specifically only watched season 3 and season 5 of Sailor Moon. So, I think she kind of really switches a favorite, but I believe RGU just hit her the most.

Andres: Hamtaro lmao. No more explanation.

Jazmin: I think Jazmin thought Totally Spies was an anime and no one ever corrected her that it's French-Canadian, so now that's always her answer when asked.

These are all the characters I could come up with something for x)

[taylortruther]

(I’m playing the devil’s advocate here)

I think people choose to use ‘retconning’ instead of ‘adjusting the lore’ because it is true what you said about feelings being complicated and mixed and us assuming things in the past, but the other side of the coin would be ‘Taylor lied in the past/is lying now’. A take that I read a lot since ttpd got released was that she hid her feelings behind fiction and that the truth was in ttpd (and the truth for these people is “she always loved, Joe was actually the ‘rebound’, the entirety of folkmore is about Matty, blah blah blah’) and whilst I don’t stand by that, I also understand why people would say this because if she said or hinted at something for years, is it absurd to say that she denied it all, factually contradicting herself, or as they say ‘retconning’, or is she just using the same themes and metaphors as many writers do?

i guess for me, having gone through similar things myself, seen other people go through it, i've read books that describe this phenomenon... i don't see it is either "contradicting herself" or "reusing the same themes." those aren't the only two explanations, that's so black and white. what about gaining a different perspective as she gets older? what about the fact that a human can love their partner, want to marry them and have kids with them, and still have a what-if in the back of their mind? what about the fact that she TOLD US she was writing fiction to avoid drama, but never what specific "drama" she was avoiding, so we filled in the blanks ourselves and we were simply wrong about some of the assumptions?

it feels like the "lie" taylor supposedly told is that she and joe were happily in love and never had problems, but why did some fans assume that in the first place? remember the renegade or hoax discourse, where people refused to think there were signs of trouble? the avoidance of that is partly why people struggle with ttpd.

sure, i'm sure sometimes taylor obfuscates or whatever for her own protection, or simply because she wants to. i get the sense that's what she did for the 1, or happiness. and obviously she's enjoying dipping in and out of her past work with the mashups and whatnot, so the different themes are absolutely present. but idk, this feels like such a black and white perspective of very gray, complex human emotions, which are often not logical.

[now-that-i-saw-you]

Short reviews of everything I read this year:

Trials of Apollo ☆☆☆☆

Fantastic!!! Revived my PJO obsession. I enjoyed Apollo's narration. The 3rd-4th book were a little tedious though.

The Picture of Dorian Gray ☆☆☆☆☆

Flawless. So, so gay, weird and dramatic. I wish I could read it for the first time again.

Seasparrow ☆☆☆

I was disappointed. I didn't like the first POV, it made the book feel juvenile. It was too long and nothing happened. An unnecessary addition to the Graceling Realm universe because all the themes in this book were already presented in Bitterblue and Winterkeep. I might have liked this a lot more if it was not part of the Graceling Realm series.

All For The Game ☆☆☆☆☆

I'M OBSESSED. Nothing else to say.

One Last Stop ☆☆☆☆

It was cute and fun. I like it when you can feel that a book/show was planned. Every detail is carefully crafted to fit the narrative. I like how the author uses historical events to enrich the plot. Middle part of the book was a little flat.

The Cruel Prince ☆☆☆

It's...cute. I liked Jude a lot, didn't care for Cardan. Good enough to make me read the entire thing, bad enough that I might never read another book by that author.

Conversations With Friends ☆☆☆☆☆

Do you ever come across a book that's exactly what you needed? This was it for me. One of the only books I got from BookTok and actually loved. It was like being hugged and punched in the gut at the same time.

This Is How You Lose The Time War ☆☆☆☆☆

This book is poetry. It's a fairytale. It's the saddest, most romantic story I've ever read. It's so weird and confusing, I understood everything. It's a tragedy. It's so full of hope. It's perfect.

The Hellheim Propechy ☆☆☆ 1/2☆

It's a lovely series and I can't wait for the 3rd book. It has one of the healthiest relationship I've ever seen in books (and it's wlw!!!!). The villians are a little flat imo.

She Who Became The Sun ☆☆☆☆☆

I don't understand how people find the courage to write anymore books after Shelley Parker-Chan dropped this marvel. I want to eat this book.

The Catcher In The Rye (reread) ☆☆☆☆☆

I love this book idc. I love the metaphors, I love Holden, I love the way the plot develops.

Jane, Unlimited ☆☆☆☆☆

SO GOOD!! Such a unique and engaging book it had me pulling out a notebook and a pen and try to decipher all the clues like a goddamn detective.

Doctor Who: Time Lord Victorious ☆☆☆

It's was nice! Idk what else to say.

Pride & Prejudice ☆☆☆

Reading this felt like sitting at a 19th century tea party and gossiping.

More Than This ☆☆☆☆☆

I've wanted to reas this for a while and it exceeded my expectation. This book is so captivating, unique, heartbreaking and hopeful.

The Trial ☆☆☆

This book was a fever dream.

The Rest of Us Just Live Here ☆☆☆☆

I think Patrick Ness is my favorite author. He did a great job with the premise of the book cause it's a lovely coming of age story and the fantastic elements are woven so well into the story.

Evvie Drake Starts Over ☆☆☆

It's cute and I love the fact that the main conflict is between the FMC and her Male Best Friend and the way this book talks about DV but it also felt a little dull sometimes.

The Lottery ☆☆☆☆

This was a mindfuck.

The Rocking Horse Winner ☆☆☆

....what?

The Scorpio Races ☆☆☆☆

HOW DOES MAGGIE STIEFVATER KEEP COMING UP WITH THOSE WEIRD FUCKING PLOTS??

A Man Called Ove ☆☆☆☆

Really sweet. This book healed something in me.

The Broken Earth (1+2) ☆☆

Yeah....I was not in the right headspace when I read this. I just didn't understand anything. I wanna give this another chance next year if I can.

Lord of The Flies ☆☆☆☆

I want to reread it cause I definitely didn't fully appreciate it but I think it's a great allegory and it's so dark. I get the hype.

The Sun and The Star ☆☆☆☆

I don't think you understand how long I've waited for this book, how long I've waited for Solangelo content. This was so cute. So lovely. I love Nico, I love Will. I wish there was a 3rd character in this (like, idk, Reyna?)

[findafight]

Idk if you’re the person to send this to but like

The whole thing with Murray’s comments and Nancy and Jon getting together…. It is set up in such a way that it can be read as a situation where an ambitious teenage girl was pressured into what she was “supposed” to be. Nancy was told by a man that she respected and who took her seriously (and was the ONLY one to do so, so Murray gained an untold amount of trust from Nancy immediately, and the show just brushing off their relationship is such a loss but ok), that in order to be her real self she must dump Steve. Now Murray was just poking at two teenagers with a metaphorical stick to see what would they do. Understandable position, as a younger sister haver love doing that also (not with romantic feelings though but Murray was never meant to be ethical). I doubt that what the comment meant for him can be easily translated into what it meant for Nancy (let alone Jon, who thinks that he is better than most people and that he is definitely better than Steve, so I imagine he was nodding along). But he did influence her into becoming an investigative journalist. Like Murray with him taking Nancy seriously influenced her into two major life altering decisions (career and significant other). Like wow. And they never interacted again! Fucking hate st continuity.

Like Nancy dumping Steve because Murray told her to do so is a major thing. It’s BAD for jancy. Before s4 I thought that they were not mentioning it because jancy happened and was the endgame. But with them toying with stancy and likely knowing that they might toy with stancy all along??? Why did they not leave it open to interpretation. It’s such a juicy storyline, it shows the magnitude of the influence that you can have on a teenage girl, it’s beautiful, it’s painful, it’s the stuff of a real love-triangle (which is hard to make interesting but that would make it interesting!!!). Why did they write it then??? Whyyyyyy?????

oooooh that's so interesting anon!

I am much more of a murray fan when he is being a weird gay conspiracy uncle guy and isn't matchmaking, it must be said.

He and Nancy have the potential for a really interesting dynamic! It really is a shame we don't get to see more of it tbh. and you are so right in what his comment meaning to him and what it meant to Nancy and Jon separately would be so different! I don't know if Nancy would necessarily feel pressured by it, (though I wouldn't say she wasn't, either) but maybe it would vindicate something of how she was feeling about her relationship with Steve at the time and her feelings for Jonathan? Like a "oh this man I respect and who takes me seriously also thinks Jonathan is better for me, thinks I should go for it. Maybe I will..." kind of thing?

And lol yeah so true Jon just had his own conception of himself and Steve and their relationships with Nancy confirmed by Murray. he just kinda got...permission? I guess? to make a move on Nancy even though he was the one bringing up Steve both times he's mentioned on the road trip.

Totally see where you're coming from of Murray's influence not being mentioned because you figured Jancy was endgame, makes sense (if boring) to not question it if it doesn't need to be addressed as an issue because the pairing is canon for the rest. But now the teen love triangle has been brought back.... you're so right it is bad for Jancy. It brings up stuff about them that a lot of people (especially the Duffers!) don't want to deal with or acknowledge. Though I don't think they were planning the whole time to bring stancy back I think that sort of happened because the duffers unfortunately don't know what to do with Nacy if she doesn't have a boy to look at and Steve when he isn't pining over Nancy.

There's not enough time left to fully and satisfyingly delve into the issues between the original older teens, especially since some of those issues aren't treated as issues. It would be interesting to see, and also so so juicy, the complicated relationship they have with each other because of the UD etc, but I don't think a whole lot of interesting canon material will come from it (though that doesn't mean fan content can't!!) just based on how other romantic relationships and their dynamics with each other have been treated through the show. tbh I think maybe s5 will tease the love triangle but ultimately either end up with them all single (my preference) or with Jancy still together.