#idk about the others themes that much though
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melled42 · 2 days ago
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Idk if this is a huge request or not, but could you explain more about Bell? (The shitten in your au)
I would be thankful, take care.
Yeah, ive done like... 3 pieces of her max but she gets SO many asks lol. the story isn't really ready for her yet, and i'd like to finish what im working on before i do more with her, but i'll give the basic rundown.
she LITTERALY started as a joke baby post but she got so much interaction i said i'd expand on her design and now she seems to just have a following of simps (oops, like lamb like daughter)
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most of the old ideas for ewen and nari with her are out of date now on the art, but heres a bunch of plot and some unposted sketches under cut
Nari and Ewen are married and leading the cult still. all the siblings have kids, grandkids and even great grandkids (excluding shamura). Its only after they decide having a child is someone for them to love and raise, not someone who they're forcing the cycle of trauma on that they have Bell. And they adore her. While growing up, one by one, the former bishops, all her aunts, uncles, and shamura decided it was time to peacefully end their long lives. So she sees death as a good thing, the satisfying end to a long life story. So when Ewen and Narinder are ready to die together, even though they say she doesn't have to, she takes on the crown and ends if for them with a last "i love you" between them. She runs the cult now which is more themed around their shared neck wound "rings" and their relationship than just the lamb. She's called "the black sheep" by her followers (or queen if they're kinky, princess when shes younger). she wields the crown as a pair of horns and a sythe, sine the cult of the black rings also referenced Ewen's large black horns and she keeps up the theme.
Baal and Aym are her "brothers" (more of her body guards and technically her cousins but she refuses to call them anything else) and her body guards, staying after their master's death. They've known her since she was a baby and still treat her as one sometimes. She's VERY protective over them, but also will bully them sometimes, like kicking their asses when training and saying they're just going easy on her like when she was a kid, knowing full well she's overpowered by the crown.
Because shes such an oddity, the mystic seller assigned one of their followers to keep an eye on her and, much like her "ba ba" she found the overpowered demigod shes now obsessed with. With some help from Ewen before they passed, they were able to translate their glyphs. Now that helper follows her around disguised as a poor imitation of a regular mortal to better understand her and the mortal realm. Or at least thats what she convinced them to do since she wants them around <3 probably not to their masters liking lol. I haven't decided on a name yet. Bell eventually give them the purple crown (they/it)
Before they left, Narinder was trying to reawaken the crowns, whether for the memory of his siblings, or that the cult was growing too large to be centered on the red crown. They're not very powerful right now and Bell is the leader of the others, more like a babysitter.
The blue crown is with Kalliope (kalli for short) (she/her), a distant relative of Kallamar's who had to fight, both physically and socially, with all her other of age relatives to get the chance, since Kallamar's polycule made a LOT of kids and grand kids. She's kind of bitchy about it and whines about everyone not respecting her or how hard she worked. shes a flamboyant cuttlefish and trans femme. also the crown is worn like an earring. Bell has little tolerance for her and they have a lot of bitchy girl fights.
The green crown is with isop (a kinda combo of isopod and aesop) (he/him) who is a rubber ducky isopod. he's Leshy's great great grandkid, and really only god the crown because no one else on the peaceful forest farm leshy put together in his later years really wanted it and figured it meant free babysitting. he's pretty young and small with a fascination for chaos and violence that only little kids without developed social perception can have, though he more watches at this point. The others tend to carry him or he rolls around in a little ball. The crown is worn like glasses.
The orange crown is with Mycelia (lia for short) (they/them plural) who is a homunculus mushroomo made through experimentation by Heket and Sozo before they died. they're the only one who is actually older than Bell. They're undying because they're a hive mind of all the mushroomo, who have been progressively growing. They can see everything the others see, can spout new bodies when needed and even feed on their own dead bodies. Bell sometimes just kills them when they're frustrated with them or other things. They'd be a threat but they're very monotone and emotionless about pretty much everything and don't care. They've worked with the red crown just because death is a natural boon to fungus and keeps them alive. The orange crown is worn as a necklace.
Heres some sketches since I haven't been able to get the designs to my liking but people keep asking so :T
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ka2ki2 · 1 day ago
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Chrysos Heirs
people who play both hi3 and hsr are WINNING rn
anyway. i've determined likely flamechaser parallels for a majority of the chrysos heirs. most of them do not actually look like their flamechaser counterparts, which makes me think they're not direct expies but merely parallels.
I also sprinkled some minor analysis of what little lore we have on these guys. Amphoreus is massively inspired by greek mythology.
watch this before reading!
Aglaea = Eden (both associated with gold)
Eden owned the Elysian Realm previously, but at that time it was called the Golden Courtyard
Eden is also called the Bearer of the Gold Signet
Aglaea is called the Goldweaver
You're not going to believe this-- Aglaea is named after the Charis called Aglaea.
The mythological Aglaea basically runs errands for Aphrodite, which would explain why HSR Aglaea bears the Coreflame of Romance.
HSR Aglaea is from the city of Okhema. In greek thought (plato I think?), Okhema is an intermediary between the body and the soul. I did as much research as I could and the best I could figure out is "it carries the soul through rebirth". SORRY IF THAT'S WRONG-
HSR Aglaea has the "divine authority of mnestia". After lots of research, I think mnestia can be loosely translated to Remembrance, so perhaps that's the Amphorean way of saying she's a pathstrider of Remembrance?
Aglaea's drip marketing references the myth of Prometheus, where Prometheus stole fire from the gods and returned/gave it to humanity.
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Tribbie = Vill-V (multiple 'selves')
Tribbie is called the "three-faced messenger"
We see Tribbie adopt multiple personas in the video. She can even take multiple forms at once
Vill-V has partitioned her personality into 8 different segments
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Anaxa = Su (both associated with knowledge/enlightenment)
Anaxa is said to have "enough knowledge to refute faith, and to stir up a torrent capable of slaying gods."
Su is called the Enlightened of Bodhi, Enlightened One, and other similar titles.
These two have lots of physical similarity
Anaxa's namesake has some interesting connections with Nous actually
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Hyacine = Griseo (both Asleep)
In the video, when Hyacine is on-screen it says "let the sky become the slumbering cot from which she wakes".
Due to the 8th Honkai Eruption, Griseo fell into a deep sleep.
Could be named after Hyacinthus
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Mydei = Kalpas (fire in battle)
In the video, Mydei is seen in a post-battle poise surrounded by fire.
Kalpas is constantly surrounded by fire during battle.
Both characters constantly seek out fighting/strife.
Mydei is likely related to the greek god Deimos
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One of the unnamed people has a mask too though, but these guys are too similar in aesthetic and personality
Cipher = Pardofelis (...come on.)
Cat girls.
Same eye and hair color
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Castorice = Aponia? (butterfly theming)
Castorice is pictured with butterflies both in the video and in the twitter art. These butterflies look highly similar to the butterfly motif in Aponia's design
Aponia is very strongly associated with butterflies. Her dress is patterned like one and she has butterfly wings in her ult
Both seem to have devastating levels of power
IDK about the greek origins for this one. Castor? Kratos (who is actually a child of the Styx)?
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Phainon = Kevin (deliverance)
Yeah they're both related to deliverance. They literally outright said deliverance in the video, and Kevin bears the Deliverance Signet.
Also they look EXACTLY THE SAME
Also both seem to be the 'leader'
In mythology, Phainon is the star of Cronus/Saturn (cuz they thought saturn was a star)
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Cyrene = Elysia (...COME ON.)
They look identical and have almost the exact same personality
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i have yet to figure out the two unnamed ones, Hysilens, and Cerydra. nor can i find their name origins... the closest i found, after ages of digging, is this for Hysilens
the remaining flame-chasers are Kosma, Sakura, Fu Hua, and Mobius. only one of the unknown people seems to be male ("unknown 2"), so that one's probably Kosma.
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And yeah that's the culmination of me losing my mind for the past 6 hours. lucky you, you didn't have to watch me try and fail to decipher what the 12 titans might be connected to. (greek titans, 12 olympians, and HSR aeons all didn't line up easily waaaaaa)
here's the failed attempt to figure out the aeons if anyone else gets ideas from this
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OK thanks for reading. normally I post my loredumps in discord servers with my friends. this is my first time posting it anywhere abfiushdliueh
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truthdawn · 6 months ago
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the atsv soundtrack got me acting freaky fr /j
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enobariasdistrict2 · 11 months ago
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thinking about the scene in book!tbosas where teslee (district three female) was being attacked by the horrifying snakes and she nonverbally pleaded with mizzen (district four male) for help. and he only shook his head, not moving to help her - but the book specifically stated that this was more out of stunned fear/horror than any kind of menace or glee at teslee's imminent death.
and he wasn't even from her district too. they were not in an alliance. she literally had no reason to expect any assistance from him, but district divisions & sectionalism didn't matter when she was scared and in pain. none of these divisions of districts one, two, three, four, five through twelve matter!!! not when children are suffering and dying as penance for a just war that ended several years ago! it's as if the narrative is trying to tell you there is no difference between a suffering/dying child from one district or another.
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averlym · 1 year ago
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"bad decisions, that's alright; look, i'm still alive"
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dravidious · 2 months ago
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You're more amazing than functionally no rares
Made some Duskmourn cards and also thought about the upcoming set currently known as "Death Race" and got in a vehicle mood
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#asks#custom cards#custom magic card#just checked and saw that the comprehensive rules update for duskmourn released. toy is indeed a creature type. not an artifact type#however: wotc is wrong and i'm better than them#anyway i have NO idea how strong Elian Purr of Unity is#i've barely gotten to use enlist so idk#the buffing effect probably isn't TOO strong since it's weaker than those “power/toughness are equal to number of creatures you control”#but 1 mana to give everything enlist? that's. big. idk if it's good but it's big#i made Kitty Joyrider because red-white and white-blue have gotten vehicle themes so i gotta complete the jeskai vehicles trio#vehicles triggering prowess is a silly little synergy that helps it crew vehicles and passing the buff onto the vehicle is cool i think#granting haste ties the whole package together. no reason for the kitty itself to have haste but it felt obligatory#i modified it just now to make it properly grant prowess so that it synergizes with combat tricks. because of course#also i'm really satisfied with Elian Cozy Plushsuit#not much to say about it i just love everything about it#oh wait i do have a thing to say! rule 208.3a#if a power/toughness changing effect is applied to a noncreature permanent the effect still applies and will work if it becomes a creature#so Cozy Plushsuit gets the buff when you tap a creature to crew it even though the trigger resolves before it becomes a creature#technically Kitty Joyrider and Veteran Motorist also take advantage of this rule but “crews a vehicle” is a little vague on timing#so you might assume the ability triggers after the vehicle becomes a creature#Anyway! the plushsuit works exactly as intended and synergizes beautifully with other vehicles#i'm not sure whether it synergizes with enlist#you tap the creature “as” you attack. does it become tapped at the same time as the attackers?#wait! 508.1f and 508.1g! tapping attackers and paying “as you attack” costs are separate steps! it synergizes!#actually 508.1g is deciding whether to pay costs. 508.1j is when you pay the costs and it says you pay them in any order#that means that multiple enlists happen separately! perfect synergy!#i had to make it “one or more” because otherwise it would be really easy to get multiple triggers just by attacking with lots of creatures#so as a side effect i get to dig around in the rules to analyze the timing of exactly when things happen#okay i'm approaching the tag limit now so bye
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coquelicoq · 8 months ago
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dammit. loved the end of the traitor baru cormorant. which means i'm gonna read the sequel. save me from myself. AUGH.
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leafy-m · 8 months ago
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My stupid story is 20k now how I do make it stop 😵
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tleeaves · 1 month ago
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Reclining on a fainting couch, hands laced together and resting over my stomach as I stare up at the ceiling. Why the fuck do I so frequently end up caught between being attracted to mean guys (and gals) but also the wife material guys? Duality of man is falling for both all the time, apparently, and never knowing which I actually genuinely like better.
I wrote out a whole theory about why I like mean people before I realised the logic no longer applied to my current circumstances/character and now I'm back at square one. Perhaps the real answer is as lame as: because I like a challenge and the idea that someone treats me Extra Special compared to how they treat others.
At the end of the day, idk.
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boysborntodie · 10 months ago
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When I say the greasers would be prejudiced, I mean they grew up and live in an environment and time period where stereotypes, ideas, propaganda, etc, were more common than today (also they still are common, to the point I don’t think there’s anyone without them to some degree) and exploring those ideas as how they culminate and manifest and how the greasers can unlearn them is much better than erasing these very real concepts and themes within the Outsiders itself as well as the era, thus doing a disservice to both.
#ofc you shouldn’t go into detail something you don’t know shit about#like that’s not your place#and like obviously don’t portray that shit as okay and normal (even though it was thought so for the time period)#but idk removing all nuance is super iffy#also the greasers are canonically all pretty misogynistic#evie rambles#the outsiders#like I really like how se hinton explores misogyny in her book#she doesn’t sht away from her characters being assholes and sexist#pony literally admits that he and the guys will talk derogatory about girls#but se hinton makes it apparent that this is shitty of them and pony himself is embarrassed admitting it#also dally bothers cherry with pony saying that if it weren’t a soc girl he would’ve helped#but se hinton writes this as a scene that feels wrong and cruel with johnny intervening because dally is scaring and upsetting them#plus even though she doesn’t give her female characters big roles (other than cherry)#it’s clearly not a bias against the girls or for the boys#because outsiders is very much a male-centric stort with masculinity and male bonds being two of the biggest themes#and it manifests in all the character from johnny who can’t fit into the normal mould of masculinity#that he sees in dally and admires#but grows as a character and understands the flaws of it and ends up denouncing#to dally who is the mould having been twisted into it by the very system he hates#to ponyboy who is constantly unsure of what end of the spectrum he should emulate#since he begins always falling short#and ends up being very much able to perpetuate and perform these gender roles#and finally does denounce them like johnny did#the female characters also have their own agency and aren’t defined by the men in their life even tho their characters seem centric to them#ugh there’s just so much to say about this book!!!
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moe-broey · 3 months ago
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Demonstration...
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You still can't see shit LMFAOOOOOOO but Solo Style (noise cancellers, SECURED)
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The Vest........ another thing about it is that it's very seasonal as well, it is So Toasty.... so, unfortunately, not super suitable for everyday regardless of circumstance wear. Another factor as to why I haven't "done" anything with it, punk custom-wise. It's just not intended for that! Plus it's beautifully hand crafted!!! I may add some tiny trinkets to the safety pins with jump rings. That's as much as I can see myself doing, here. (The pins, are a lifesaver... literally the biggest issue I had w this was how the collar fit 😭 Something you just Don't Know until you wear a piece of clothing at least three times.)
Back to the jacket though, I also really like how it falls here. It almost looks dress-like, in the front... in a super androgynous way... And the way the bottom pockets are fully accessible under the vest. Very cool!
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I CAN WEAR THIS!!!!!!!! I CAN WEAR THIS‼️‼️‼️‼️ I'M SO UNBELIEVABLY EXCITED TO HAVE SOMETHING I CAN WEAR THIS WITH!!!!!!!!!! I WILL layer this on top of my first-run jacket in the winter and it is. So Stupid LMFAOOOO (how I've got So Many protruding details in the back on that one...... VERY COOL was super fun to make But. Hhhgnhh)
I still get so much euphoria wearing this particular coat though like. Yeesss..... vanishing into the cozy shapeless void of dark blue flannel. Like if a blanket was a coat. It's AWESOME..... and it pairs SO WELL w the jacket. I just. Have to Make Sure. As I customize it. That it still pairs well with the coat LMFAOOOOO
Which is!!!! What I meant by "punk jacket you could sleep in". That is my design philosophy going into this......... Somehow. Honestly don't know how I'm gonna combine coziness with Spikes And Shit but. Fucking. Watch Me. I fucking guess!!!!!! 🫡
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softgrungeprophet · 4 months ago
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me designing characters: turquoise! purple! black! red and gold!
#there's a reason my spidersona design used black + turquoise + purple + hot pink lol#i did that very consciously#now ... all my OTHER characters...#been thinking about my biases in terms of costume palettes recently just because of the scratchverse lineup#green and yellow are i think the least represented#i am going to be leaning more into blue for novaglow's costume and less teal#esp since i made the purposeful decision to make tj's costume a mix of teal and acid green#but also because i want the colors to reflect angel's updated powers more so i'm leaning into blue and silver and black#vs their foe whose design will be mostly white and silver and very pale crystal blue#mostly white though because i'm trying to make sure they don't look like frozone 💀#weirdly pink is both underrepresented and very prevalent in the lineup ... naomi w rose gold and gem with bubblegum#but there was a reason i wanted to change the tone of seth's first costume with white and pink instead of bright yellow#of course now naomi is like the only one with yellow (then copper) which is again why i gave tj neon yellow green gloves lol#originally it was gonna be more lemony but i realized hi vis would be better for the design#gold doesn't count but i was very conscious about the tones i used for the psykopomp because tama's ENTIRE theme#has been white + red + gold + black since i first designed her lmfaoooo#so lilith i specifically used a darker red#with a bluer black and no white to help keep her visually distinct#whereas tama her main vibes are predominantly white and gold with red and black accents#also usually a slightly lighter and less bronze gold#aaaaanyway#hopefully drawing novaglow and doc wormwood's upgraded costumes soon#also am wondering how to approach diana's older brother because he's very much A Batman Type#but tarot themed lol so i'm thinking about what colors would work best for his costume and also his *checks notes* hyperyacht#jk idk if it's a hyperyacht. it is a speedboat though.#nadia rambles#this got very scratchverse-centric but is broadly applicable#*stares at qela's uniform iterations*#update: scratchverse most underrepresented color is: orange#also warm-toned purple (purple i use is mostly blurple and periwinkle-lavender)
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hecksupremechips · 7 months ago
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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technicolorxsn · 7 months ago
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love how there are pretentious video essays that just repeat the book and meander and ramble about house of leaves. it's what zampanó would have wanted. it is not, however, what I want
#anyway i finished the main portion of the book#all i have left is the poems and a few other small things i think? ive read pelafinas letters#im thinking of getting the full book of her letters#but also they severely messed with my head so we'll see#i will say. i do get why ppl say the book is pretentious and frustrating#there was a lot of stuff where i couldnt tell if it was supposed to be satire or if it was genuinely just that dense and pretentious#and a lot of the codes were rly obtuse imo?#like... idk. some of them were super obvious like the sos stuff or pelafina outright saying what to do#but others like. man how am i supposed to know johnny waxing poetic about pussy was coded#i mean that one is also pointed out though much later but i know i missed a lot just like it that werent pointed out#and ive heard theres a lot of shit where the message you get is just danielewski????? which gonna be real. kinda dumb.#but i did also really enjoy the book#there was a lot of stuff in it that was just so compelling or poignant or whatever other word#the minotaur stuff is good (ofc id say that though i love me some minotaur themes)#also a lot of the scenes with johnny just...... christ#idk how ppl say to skip them hes so fascinating#yeah i could do with him talking about his possibly hallucinated sex life a bit less but also his story is just plain interesting#i still think about the part where the girl he was talking to runs over a dog they had picked up........ it was fucking chilling#and his hallucinations of dying are so descriptive in just the right way to get under my skin#the uncertainty with him and his family..... did pelafina try to kill him? did his father just send her away for being a bit too overbearing#over an accident? was there something else? what was the deal with his foster family? with lude? gdansk man and kyrie?#how did it get published? who are the editors? why did the band know of the book before it should have been published?#why does his journal section end with a story from a man he admits to making up completely? the doctor from seattle doesnt exist#the chronological end is more hopeful with him saying things will be okay but then he puts a previous entry after that?#i think the burning of the book parallels the story nicely#johnny said his piece; he nurtured the book as much as he could; but it was hurting him and he had to give up on it#idk!#this book does make me feel a lil dumb ngl
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kellystar321 · 1 year ago
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#periodical life updates#lets hope this one goes better than the last one </3#anyway hi everyone. im in an entirely different timezone during this trip so its actually mid afternoon right now#thats not what this is about though this is about how im EXCITED FOR ARTFIGHT AS USUAL!!! lemmy posted his s/is and theyre so cute <3#also the theme reveal is coming on the 23! i hope its enough time for the theme templates? i love doing the theme templates with everyone :#this'll be my seventh year participating holy sht!! ive been doing this for seven (7) years!!!!!!!!#ive been feeling like ive been improving in art every artfight but idk how i'll fare this year. i feel like ive been a bit stagnant#and i did some PRETTY KILLER PIECES LAST YEAR;;; who knows if i'll top it; especially with summer college classes UGH#miserable about that btw. college my beloathed forever and ever amen. :/ ive been meaning to fix a few characters profiles and add some too#FINALLY going to separate kelly and jace! kelly is now the bureau of balance halfling only <3 ive been redrawing a new design of her :>#she has cute pointed ears now heho!! and actual more fantasy-esque clothes to fit her universe <3 jace is getting a separate profile!#jace is now solely my sona and i look SO much more gender now with the haircut and i can post my refs <33#i also want to post agent and icarus and all the javelins but that means i have to draw them actually hfjkh <33#i should also actually add something to shen's profile hfkjfh i care more about xer worldbuilding than xer character i feel </3#IVE BEEN MEANING TO GET QUEUE BACK UP but everytime i look at my drafts i feel so tired </3 theres ART i want to reblog!!!#ough. some other time. okay! im gonna get my artfight discord channel back up and running for the new artfight season! let's go let's go!#oh and i'll be sure to announce which team im joining obviously hdjfdh it'll probably be the lighthearted one <3#some of the themes this year are a little off? (stars vs nebula? heart vs soul? arent those the same thing?) but im hoping for the best <3#okay frfr going now! hope for queue soon maybe if i have time/energy! working on artfight! lets goooooo!! <3
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llatimeria · 1 year ago
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Just finished The Santaroga Barrier by Frank Herbert (my dad likes to play audiobooks in the car on trips) and I didn't like it much (and there's quite a bit of Yikes in it, because frank herbert and the 1960s in general,) but the aspect I found most interesting was the concept of like. A world's subconscious desire to kill The Other.
In the book an investigator visits a small cultish town in order to investigate it for a market study after a few other researchers mysteriously died. he gets into a frightening number of "accidents" while he's there (like the former investigators) and starts believing that there was a conspiracy among the townsfolk and all of them were intentionally trying to murder him.
tl;dr, it turns out it actually was a subconscious yet intense phobia/hatred they had of The Outside they had as part of their personal traumas, childhood indoctrination into their local cult, and the LSD-like drug they were constantly on. They didn't mean the investigator any harm, if anything they were extremely welcoming, kind, well-meaning people, but this background radiation of fear and rage kept making them accidentally do things to kill him - mixing up insecticide and spices in his food, gas fumes being pumped in his hotel room after a botched maintenance job, a torn carpet tripping him off the railing of the balcony, and Many Other subtle attempts on his life that he just happened to avoid by sheer chance.
But all the townsfolk don't really think anything of it - the town doctor, especially skeptical, "diagnoses" him as "accident-prone" until the investigator begs and pleads with him for days after several brutal accidents in a row, and only then does the doctor start believing him but even then only comes up with the theory that all of this supposed malice towards the investigator is "subconscious" - later shown to likely be correct when the investigator himself, after overdosing on their special drug, "accidentally" shoves his colleague off a roof, killing him, but the investigator physically cannot see it as anything but an accident anymore. it simply doesn't reach his mind that he killed a former friend of his. it was just an accident. he just fell, all on his own.
the idea of A Town That Wants To Kill You, But It's Nothing Personal resonated with me from the perspective of being a disabled person, especially one in a generally welcoming, accepting environment. when you're disabled, not a lot of people will come to you bearing their ableism between their teeth. They'll be nice, insensitive maybe, but nice, and are often outwardly willing to accomodate you. But they also stick out their leg as you're walking along to trip you. They'll apologize, and you'll maybe even believe it, even though to you, from your perspective, it was obviously an attempt to harm you. You excuse it once, maybe twice, but after a point, you realize that this world, this community you have entered, is actively hostile towards you and everyone like you. so you start screaming it to the rooftops. you tell authorities that the world wants to hurt you, but they begin affixing labels to you like "paranoid" or "anxious". they know no one actually has it out for you, personally, after all. that would be ridiculous.
but you still keep getting tripped down the stairs. the rat poison and the sugar at your favorite coffee shop still keep getting mixed up, but only when it's your order. in the hospital, recovering from your previous "accidents", a nurse will still accidentally pump you full of saline instead of medicine.
after a point, doesn't the fact that all of these are "accidents", and that no one WANTS to kill you, just... stop mattering a little bit? Yeah, no one wants to hurt you, but they just keep doing it. They keep making stupid little mistakes. They know everyone like you who has visited their community has died or been seriously injured under suspicious circumstances, but the idea that they, themselves, could be a little bit at fault just doesn't even register to them. they don't even consider that they might have to change their ways in order to protect people like you. After all, you can't prepare for every "freak accident". Even when the solution could be as simple as "stop putting rat poison next to the sugar", every time it happens to you, or a person like you, it's just an "accident", that no one "meant" any harm, and "nothing could be done".
it doesn't cross their mind that a string of unfortunate accidents ceases to be accidents, but serious negligence. it can't cross their mind, because they're not the victims here. they only even begin to acknowledge something might be wrong when the victims are screaming in their face, day after day. even then, they come to the conclusion that even if you're right, and the community does want to kill you because you are Other, they won't immediately see anything wrong with that. To Them, the answer is clear as day: just become one of Them, and you'll be safe. They take care of their own.
#this isn't even really what the santaroga barrier is even about i just found this to be a useful structure for talking about disability#It's not... NOT what it's about??#it's definitely got themes of Otherness#but it's more about like.#My dad put it as 'how much of your individuality would you give up to live in paradise'#which is also interesting to think about but . imo if i have to give up parts of myself it would no longer be paradise#But also a lot of what the cult-town tries to get you to 'give up' is. like. Believing in capitalism#And to me it definitely feels like Herbert was on the santarogan's side with that part at least but it's still interesting that that's like#it's still interesting that That of all things is what you have to give up in order to Become Santarogan.#Like. Personally i'd have to change very little to become a santarogan. the trade off for me is not that huge#which makes the protagonist actually seem a little unhinged and unnecessarily hostile#Does daesin just want to believe in capitalism That Badly even when he doesn't understand that that's what this is about#Is it like the scene from They Live where the protagonist tries to get his friend to wear the Anticapitalism Sunglasses but the friend#just refuses point blank even though he has no reason to?#idk. it's definitely an interesting premise. but the racisms. and the misogynies. it's really hard to look past that#especially the part where one black character describes himself like#'before [santaroga] i was an ignorant [n slur hard r]. now i am an educated n-gro“#which was just. holy fucking shit. that is unspeakably awful. shut the fuck up frank#Also a part where a woman disrobes herself to prove herself to be no harm to the investigator [her fiancee]#and he says something like. 'you're so beautiful i just might rape you' and shes just like teehee thats sweet :)#Which. Bad. Very nasty. Don't say that.#And the general concept of potentially using that woman to lure the investigator into the cult. it's unclear how much of that was#on purpose on the part of santarogans but it does have this slimy Women Are Evil Temptresses That Trap Men In Bad Situations miasma to it#anyways. sorry for blabbing on and on about a 50 year old book by the same guy who wrote dune which is clearly an unquestionable masterpiece#/s.#I just had no choice in listening to this story while sitting in the back of a car on Very Empty Montana And Wyoming Highways#so I might as well rotate it just a little I guess. nothing better to do
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