#idk I’m tired and it’s 1 am goodnight

[silksongeveryday]

I kinda already have been, but I’m thinking of closing and not doing requests entirely, and might not pick it up until a long time from now. I’m talking like a few months out before I reopen doodle requests again. I’ve had a few ideas lately that might take up a lot of daily doodles, but idk if I’m decided on that yet.

As the anniversary of this blog gets closer, I’ll start finalizing my decisions I think. Especially since some of these ideas will take a lot of planning.

[dumborangecat]

I was just playing around with character designing n stuff when suddenly colour theory n stuff just started??? making sense?.?

this is probabky the first time i’ve rendered something in over a year, if at all, it was actually rlly fun suprisingly

[yoohyeon]

Round of applause for Alex, I’m going to bed before 1am 👏👏👏👏

[tteokbin]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ [bunny] - 수빈.

☆ -> sub!soobin (ot5) x dom!reader

content -> ot5 x reader, reader is the 6th member of txt, fluff..the most fluff i’ve ever written and i’m doing it for the sake of plot !1!, uhh stuffie humping (?), spitting in mouth, degradation, choking (cause its not a cherriescheol fic without choking), mxm, cumming inside anddd uhh idk 🤔 that’s it i think

note -> okay soz this will be a series of all the members, i’m gonna make a masterlist for it when i finish all of them probably. i’m scared on how this will do or if people will even enjoy it but ik there’s people dying for more sub!txt content and i am here to provide 😼 ngl i also forgot who rooms with who and if soobin was the only one with a singular room so i just went off what i’ve heard recently. also soobin is blonde in this because i will never get over blonde soobin i miss him v much.

pt 2 of my ot5 poly txt au

It’s around 10:30 at night when you and the boys get home from a long day of non stop practice, clumsily taking off their shoes, slipping into house slippers and hanging their jackets. beomgyu clings to your waist as you both waddle towards the kitchen.

You turn to him once there and cup his face with both hands, taking note of the scattered fading blemishes he had on his cheeks. beomgyu let’s his long lashes flutter against his cheekbones as he enjoyed the warmth of your palms. “did you drink enough water today, puppy?” you ask as you brush his bangs out of his eyes, noting that his hair grew longer since he last cut it.

He hums and just purs into your hands instead of answering and his reluctance to respond to you properly gives you your answer. you pull away from his embrace despite his whine and pour him a glass of water with ice. “drink this and go take care of your skin, okay? And make sure you don’t go to sleep in the clothes you’ve been in all day.”

You watch him nod with a pout then pucker his lips out for a kiss. you roll your eyes but give him a chaste kiss anyway. he giggles into your lips and moves to deepen it but you pluck yourself away before he can try. “c‘mon pup your gonna be tired in the morning if you don’t go now.”

turning him around you usher him out the kitchen with the glass in hand and towards his bedroom while he huffs out small ‘okay, okay’s and pads off to his room. just as he leaves yeonjun comes in the kitchen to get a water bottle out the fridge before grinning fondly at the scene. he places his bottle on the counter before wrapping his arms around your neck and scattering wet kisses all over your face and stopping at your mouth.

“you did so good today Jagi. looked so sexy dancing. Just wanted you to take me right there..” yeonjun murmurs against your lips. he watches you smile and lean to knock your forehead with his before licking his nose.

he sputters and groans while you move to squeeze his ass with a laugh. “ Thank you pretty boy, i was watching you too and you did amazing,” you peck his plump lips and lock eyes with him, “As always.” Normally he’d agree with a smug ‘of course, i’m always amazing.’ but seeing the genuinely loving look glaze over your eyes has him looking away and blushing like a little boy.

“T-Thank you..” he stutters, all of a sudden feeling shy and hot. he looks over your shoulder at the time on the microwave and remembers how late it is. Yeonjun grabs his forgotten water bottle and pecks your lips again before uttering a dreamy goodnight and a reminder to visit the maknaes then heads off to bed.

You grab another water bottle from the fridge before heading off to their room, as well as grabbing a stray molang plushie off the couch. upon approaching the boys room you can tell their both already laying down with the lights off due to the quiet sounds of youtube videos through the crack of their door.

After delivering a knock you enter their room and see taehyun watching his phone while in bed, kai seemingly already asleep facing his mountain of plushies. you pad over to taehyun as he smiles at you over his phone, “hyung!” he quietly exclaims before dropping his phone and opening his arms wide for a hug. you chuckle while setting down the water bottle on the stand next to his bed and dropping the stuffed bunny on the floor.

Engulfing him in a hug, you press warm kisses in the sensitive crook of his neck. Taehyun squeaks and pulls you away to watch the amused curl of your lips. “how was your day today prince?” you unravel one arm from him to lay next to him and rub a thumb over his faint eyebags, “ my baby looks so tired.”

He places a hand over yours and presses into his cheek, closing his eyes prettily, much like beomgyu. “I’m okay, hyung. My day was tiring but i got through it like always.” he opens his big boba eyes to gaze at you with an adorable grin, corner of his eyes crinkling in fondness at your concern, “you don’t have to worry about me. plus, i did good today, right?”

He watches you expectantly, huge eyes anticipating the praise he craves from you so dearly. “Yes my prince, you did so good. My good boy.” you pur. Taehyun visibly vibrates at your words, brightly beaming at you with his adorable dimple poking out from his cheek. He lurches forward and connects your lips, kiss filled with joy and happy emotions.

taehyun presses against you and hooks a leg around your waist, pulling you on top of him to smother him into the bed. he moans happily into the kiss, wrapping his arms around your neck to get as close as possible as if you were to let go. you prod at his soft lips with your tongue and he happily lets you. humming into his mouth as he sucks your appendage then proceeds to slot against your lips once more.

You press him further into the mattress, rolling your hips down into him as he whines into you. your about to grind into him once more when you hear a sleepy voice from across the room;“hyung?”

you part from taehyun at the sound, resisting the urge to destroy him when you see him laying beneath you with such a hazy ‘fuck me’ look strewn across his dazed features. mouth wet and slightly swollen and tank top disheveled enough to where a brown nipple peaks from the side. you reluctantly turn your head to the side and see kai rubbing his eye then gazing at you both from his bed, “Me too.. please?”

his pretty eyes almost hypnotize you towards him in the dark room, the light from taehyuns forgotten phone the only thing allowing you to see his dreamy features. “c’mere then.” you beckon him over from your position, both you and taehyun watching him hop out of bed and shuffle over towards the both of you.

Kai stands in front of the bed, playing with his own fingers and waits patiently as you look over him. he’s in his boxers and a old pokémon tee that’s stretched at the collar, showing a good part of his bare chest and collarbones. you sit up on your knees with taehyun still between your legs, reaching for kai’s neck and bringing his face to yours.

“lay next to me baby,” you whisper, letting him crawl over you and tyun before settling on the opposite side, both boys now sandwiching you on the bed. he faces you and slots your thigh between his while he stares at your lips with desperate eyes, so so cute and obvious about what he wants.

you giggle and lean forward, pressing your lips against his wet ones. you both sigh into the kiss, licking at each other as his squeaky moans muffle into your mouth. you bite his bottom lip, sucking his tongue when he opens his mouth to moan loudly in surprise.

Kai starts subconsciously grinding against your thigh, pulling away by an inch to pant hot breathes against your face. “ah.. hyung,” he pauses to whine, “please— touch me, p-please touch me hyung!” kai whimpers, humping your leg with more fever.

taehyun watches kai from beside you, squirming with his own need and whining quietly under his breath, he wants your attention on him too. tyun places a hand on your navel, trailing his hand lower until he’s hitting the waistband of your sleep shorts. A hand gropes at the half-hard bulge forming between your legs, fondling in slow up and down movements.

He pants at the thought of having it in his mouth. tight, hot mouth suckling on the delicious head, gagging and choking on your delicious cock while stuffing his throat full. big wonderful eyes glossing over with the need to bury it deep inside him. he moves to slide his hand inside your pants to finally fish out what he’s been craving when he feels a hand on his wrist.

Taehyun snaps his head up towards you, realizing that you’ve long stopped playing with kai— in return letting him hump the air with his tongue out like a mutt. “Uh-uh tyunnie. I didn’t say you could touch, now did i?” you tut, moving his hand away and sitting up between both boys. “ You boys are so dirty. Can’t just kiss without getting drunk for my cock, hm?”

Both of them move to sit up along with you but you push them back down and shake your head with a faux sympathetic look. “If both of you want to cum so bad why don’t you play with each other? hyung is busy.” you move to go off the bed, picking up the stuffed molang plushie and placing it between the both of them. Hyuka immediately starts grinding his hips into the poor plush, pressing it into taehyun by doing so.

“A-Ah, hyung! Don’t be mean.” he stutters out. hyuka clings to his body, steadily grinding his hips into the stuffed animal, the force of his thrusts pushing it into tyuns neglected hard on as well. kai’s heavy tongue licks into taehyuns neck, causing him to whine and squeeze his eyes shut from the pleasure. “h-hyunggg,” he mewls out of habit. though he’s long forgotten you left him as you slip out of his room, quietly closing the door.

At the entrance of soobins room you stand in the dark, the door is shut behind you but you make no move to leave your spot. across the room soobin lays in his bed with his headphones on and head practically sucked into his phone.

his legs slightly hang off the long edge of the bed, toes curling and uncurling in tandem with each other. your eyes trail a bit higher, landing on the very noticeable bulge twitching through his boxers. every once in a while his hips would jut up into the air, hopelessly seeking friction.

you smile to yourself at his eagerness, deciding to end his pitiful suffering. soobin nearly jumps out of his skin when he feels your hand cup him through his underwear— slamming his phone on the bed and ripping his headphones off.

“H-Hyung!” without the light of his phone you could only make out his wide doe eyes staring at you in surprise. you giggle and flick on his bedside lamp letting the light illuminate as much as it could. soobins flushed cheeks are more prominent this way, his cute ears practically dyed red and blonde hair messily unkept with strands sticking every direction.

You squeeze at his bulge, snapping him out of his surprised state and causing a cute whine to slip out his lips. “What are you watching that got you so worked up, bunny?” as soon as the pet name leaves your lips his hips twitch harshly upwards. your teasing grin widens at the action, groping him tighter and leaning down to lick a stripe up his neck.

“aah, y-yeonjunie hyung sent me a video of him playing with—“ he cuts himself off with a gasp when you suck on a particularly sensitive part of his neck, “ah! ah! his toys!! playing with his toys—!” soobin trembles in your hold, resisting the urge to curl away from your actions.

His toys hm? i’ll remember that. “Your supposed to tell me when they send you stuff like this bunny, shouldn’t Binnie get punis-“

“No!” soobin practically yelped upon hearing the word, he hates getting punished. He’s so eager to please that he barely ever acts out, unlike beomgyu and taehyun, but when he is punished he’s immediately fucked out and trying to redeem himself. “Bunny’s been good! S-So good!! bunny didn’t touch himself at all, jus watched Jjunie-hyung! Don’t want t’be puni-“

Suddenly, your hand latched onto his throat, pressing down tightly and pulling a harsh gasp out of him. Soobin immediately looked at your face above him, dark and ticked with anger.

“Did I say you could talk over me, Mutt?” Your palm dug deeper into his neck and angled his head to the side, bracing his flushed cheek towards you. “Can’t fucking talk now can you huh? Dumb bunny, nothing in this head right? Just a pretty face who can't just listen to his hyung." Soobin nodded along with every word as you bring your other hand up and press down on his lower lip, watching him loll his tongue out on instinct.

Soobin stared up at you the best he could through dazed eyes, drool beginning to leak from the side of his mouth. "You want it, don't you?" you whisper, daring him to speak through choked gasps. Soobin nodded his head to the best of his ability, sticking his tongue out farther while pleading with his eyes; yes, yes yes give it to me, please.

Your hand firmly holds open his jaw as you spit harshly into his mouth. "Swallow it." you let go of his throat and watch him gulp down his treat, letting out gasped ‘thank you's’ as he catches his breath. Soobin opens his mouth again proudly showing that he swallowed like you told him to.

You pull and snap the band of his boxers back onto his skin, “Off, now.” and Soobin scrambles to shrug the clothing down his lanky legs. He instinctively curls his legs up to his chest, veiny arms hooking under both his knees, baring his ass to you with a soft whine.

An adorable heart shaped plug rests snugly between soobins unmarked cheeks, “ Oh, fuck bunny..” you whisper in awe, slowly easing the plug out while watching his hole stretch around the wide base.

Soobin whined long and high pitched, throwing his head back into the pillow. “ Ahh please!! Please hyung!” he mindlessly begged, keening when he felt the plug being fucked in and out of him lewdly.

Soobin loudly wails when you finally pull it out of him, letting out a heavy sigh of pleasure when he feels two of your fingers circle around his rim. “ M’ready, m’ready hyung please fuck me! b-bunny’s been a good boy!”

you chuckle at the impatient tone in his voice, sinking your fingers into him and pumping deliciously against his walls. you don’t know how much longer you can resist him yourself, still tight gummy insides just begging to swallow your cock whole.

reluctantly slipping your fingers out of him and leaning back, you pull your sleep shorts down to your knees along with your boxers. You spit into your hand, fisting along the shaft while soobin drools at the sight.

His toes curl once he feels the wet tip prod at his hole and slowly push into him. He fights the urge to close his eyes instead of watching every inch of you sink inside him. “Oh, please..” Soobin whines out. Every single ridge and vein of your meaty cock deliciously dragging against his walls until you bottom out, leaving him twitching and breathless—barely able to speak from being so full.

With his pouty lips permanently held open in a silent moan and his doe eyes fighting back tears, Soobin silently pleads to start moving. You narrow your eyes at him for daring to ask anything when he’s pissed you off already, slowly pulling out until just the tip throbs inside of him and slamming your hips forward— dragging a loud wail out of him.

Your hips move like clockwork; heavily pounding him into the mattress with a bruising grip on his meaty thighs, each thrust pumping into him harder than the last and knocking the air out of soobins throat.

“So pretty, bunny.” you groaned out, angling your hips as deep as possible until your thighs ached. Soobin sobbed and let go of his legs, hands digging into the sheets next to his head. “ So fucking good.” you pushed forward until your chest was flush against his— as close as you could get with his knees pressing to his shoulders.

The new angle served as the perfect position for your cock to ram straight into his prostate, a loud squeal immediately flying out of his lips. “Hyung— oh my god..!” Soobins back arched as deep as it possibly could while being pressed into the bed, hands grabbing onto your back, hard. “Fuck it’s—! it’s sho good! sso good hyung, don’t stop! please ffuck me harder! Aaah..”

Soobin practically screams each time you pummel against that sweet spot inside of him, legs kicking wildly in the air. “Bunny— fuck m’ gonna cum soon, shit!” you moan into his ear. soobin can barely speak in response. His eyes rolled back into his head as his hips bucked up into you the best he could, dumb cock twitching frantically between your bodies.

You quickly sit up and lay each of his legs on either side of your hips, his hands instantly flying to his flushed nipples. you lean back and resume your thrusts but this time fucking straight into his prostate. Each thrust tightening the band threatening to snap in his lower tummy, leaving his swollen dick bobbing helplessly with the force.

“C-Cum for me Bunny, make hyung proud.” It only took one of your hands fisting his throbbing tip to have him crying out a broken ‘c-cumming!’ and making a mess of himself all over his abdomen. You follow soon after him, burying deep and shooting your load into his warm insides, collapsing onto his wet chest.

Both of you start to doze off in each other sticky mess, even though you should get up and clean it before a staff member finds the both of you like this. Soobin mumbled quiet ‘i love you’s’ into your sweaty hair, dragging his tired limbs up and down your scratched back. Before your mind can teeter off into the sweet relief of sleep you press tender kisses against his pecs, playfully licking at his nipple and giggling at his sensitive whine.

The both of you are snoring by the time soobins phone pings with multiple messages from the groupchat:

Beommie 🧸

god are you guys FINALLY finished??

thought you guys were gonna fuck all night, jesus.

guys???

oh so now your quiet

holy shit don’t tell me tyun and kai are going at it to

omg you horndogs!

jjunie hyung 🫶🏼

just go to sleep beoms.

…

actually, come over

hearing them got me all needy

Beomie 🧸

🫡

[velvetkisscs]

Is It Casual Now ? - PSH SMAU

chapter 5: 2:22 am (0.5k)

──౨ৎ｡⋆ 𝓬ontains: cussing, alcohol consumption (drink responsibly) , teasing, more bickering (always)

likes, reblogs, comments, and feedbacks are appreciated. rude comments will be ignored, reported, and deleted.

. 𖦹˙— ₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘ ✩࿐࿔

1:58 am

2 mins had passed and you finally spot sunghoon making his way through the crowd. for a second, relief washed over you, but it’s quickly replaced by annoyance.

“about time you showed up,” you said, feeling a bit frustrated.

“yeah, yeah.” he responds, uninterested with your anger.

you point at ni-ki, who’s slumped on the couch, mumbling words. sunghoon sighs, walking over to his inebriated friend. he attempts to lift ni-ki on his own, but he finds himself struggling.

“talk about skill issue,” you tease, making him glare at you in response.

“wait here,” he says, heading towards his car.

“where the hell are you going?” you call after him.

. 𖦹˙— ₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘ ✩࿐࿔

2:02 am

a moment later, he returns, holding a pair of familiar shoes. “here. you left these in my car ages ago.”

you stare at the shoes, then back to sunghoon. “why do you still have these?”

“uhh… forgot to throw them out,” sunghoon shrugs nonchalantly.

you roll your eyes but take the shoes, quickly changing out of your heels.

together, you manage to house ni-ki to his feet, slowly making your way out the party. the cool night air is a stark contrast to the humidity of the party inside. the sound of your footsteps echoes softly in the quiet streets. you try to hold ni-ki as steady as you can, but you can only do so much with your height.

‘ni-ki what’s your lock code?” you ask as you approach his and sunghoon’s building.

ni-ki mumbles something incoherently, his head lolling back and forth.

“ni-ki, we need your code.” sunghoon tries, but ni-ki can only let out a bunch of gibberish, eyes half-closed.

“he’s hopeless,” you sigh. “can you let him crash at your place?”

“fine by me,” sunghoon agrees, “if he pukes, you’re cleaning it up.”

“whatever,” too tired to argue further. “i never said i’m going to stay over at your place.” you quietly mutter.

. 𖦹˙— ₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘ ✩࿐࿔

2:22 am

after what feels like eternity, you reach sunghoon’s apartment. you were able to get ni-ki inside and laid him down on the couch, his soft snores filling the room.

sunghoon glances towards your direction, his expression unreadable. “you want me to walk you home?”

“can’t get enough of me huh?” you said, trying to get a reaction out of him.

“you wish.” rolling his eyes. “just don’t want to deal with our friends giving me shit if something bad were to happen to you.”

“just admit it, you’re worried about me.”

“whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“since you offered, then sure. i guess?”

. 𖦹˙— ₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘ ✩࿐࿔

2:34 am

the walk to your apartment was quieter, but still peppered with your usual banter. the city at his hour is so alive, yet so serene.

by the time you reach the entrance to your building, sunghoon does not part ways with you. instead, he follows you to the front of your apartment door. 

“i’ll leave once i see you head inside” sunghoon says

“thanks for walking me,” you say softly, fatigue washing over you. “goodnight, sunghoon.”

“goodnight, yn.” he replies, watching until you’re safely inside before turning to leave. . 𖦹˙— ₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘ ✩࿐࿔ 2:49 am

<<< prev masterlist next >>>

a/n: saw the blurry pics and thought, yup that's ni-ki core. i was so into minecraft i nearly forgot to work on this chapter. idk what else to say tbh... we're almost done with the boring chapters tho! i think one or two more and the good good, the drama, the tea will finally happen! it's only taking a while because i'm trying to make sure you guys get the gist of sunghoon and yn's dynamic, along with everyone in their friend grp.

. 𖦹˙— ₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘ ✩࿐࿔

taglist: open

📌: @sunoostripletriple @yoizhrs @leov3rse @heelee-01 @naviiy @ramenoil @mitmit01 @luvrseung @river-demon-slayer @wonwoos-wineparty @sumzysworld @sngleehee @jayhoonvroom @lovebuglissas @tanisha2060

[send a comment/ask! no empty blogs, must be 18+]

[dirtybitfic]

ROAD TRIP PT.2

(Touching , teasing ,dirty talk , dom-Matt, smutt , chocking,slapping,use of names like ma,mama,slut,daddy)

(Playing in the background of this scene)

“If I touch you will you will you be a good girl and stay quite for me”

“Ye-yes Matt I promise”

Good girl now spread your legs for me

I spread my legs as side as they would go giving him access to my soaked core that was just begging for him to touch it.

Good girl Fuck your wet

Ma-Matt what if someone sees you

We’re on backroads going 60 I don’t think anyone is gonna be paying that much attention if they pass us

Yeah I guess your right

Take your thing off for me

Oh-okay

I was even more scared now that someone would see me fully bare for him spread out like this but honestly I wanted him to touch me more.

Good girl Fuck do you always get that wet ma

I umm idk

Fuck your so gorgeous

As much as I’m loving this you have to keep your eyes on the road

He looks at me once more before turning his attention to the road as he moves his slender fingers to my clit rubbing small circles

F-Fuck Matt mmmh

That feel good ma

Yes Matt Fuck

He inserts two fingers in me causing me to gasp

Oh f-Fuck Matt feels so good

Such a good girl for me letting me touch you like this

Mmm Fuck Matt I’m gonna cum

Yeah you wanna cum mama

Yes Fuck oh I wanna cum so bad

Beg for it

He says as he curls his fingers and starts moving his hand faster making me get even closer to my orgasm.

F FUCK MATT PLEASE PLEASE LET ME CUM

Fuck you sound so hot when you beg so pathetically cum in my fingers mama

FU-FUCK MATT IM GONNA CUM

Come on ma give it to me I wanna hear your pretty cries as you cum on my fingers

FUCK M-MATT IM CUMMING MMMM FUCK FUCK

That’s it good fucking girl

Jesus Fuck Matt I said gripping his arm so he would stop thrusting them into me .

God he was so fingers I can’t even imagine how good he is with his mouth and dick but I hope I find out.

He pulls his fingers out of me and put them r his mouth and sucks my juices off of them causing me to moan it was just so fucking hot

Mmm your so sweet god if we weren’t in the car I’d be devouring that Pussy right now

Oh really what else would you be doing to me if we weren’t in this car. I said seductively

Mmm your just gonna have to wait to find out

Fuck . How long do we have left

About uhhhh 15 hours.

What the fuck you know I actually really hate road trips. We should have flown there

Aww but then we wouldn’t have all this alone time

Yeah true but maybe these 15 hours will go by REALlyyy quicklyyy

Yeahhhh it definitely won’t feel like an eternity . He says smiling at me making me smile.

Are we planning on stopping to sleep for the night or are we just gonna drive all the way there

No we’re stopping in about an hour since it’s getting late I found a stop where you can park over night and we’ll sleep there

Okay

Started playing as we sat in comfortable silence after I got my underwear back on and sat back with Matt’s hand rubbing small circles on my thigh.

The hour went by fast and we reached the stop no one else was there which surprisingly I was happy about made me feel a little safer about sleeping there.

Me and Matt ran into the bathroom area to brush our teeth and go to the bathroom before we headed back to the car to start getting ready to go to bed . Matt put the back seats down and he

Laid out the blankets and pillows he brought so we would sleep more comfortably.

Alright ready to go to sleep I’m exhausted?

Yeah I’m fucking tired

It was about 1 am at this point and I could feel my eyes getting heavy I know he must be tired from driving so long..

Can we cuddle I’m a little creeped out right now

Of course gorgeous and yeah I’m a little creeped out too

Matt cuddles into me . Me being small spoon his being big .

Goodnight y/n

Goodnight Matt

We bought dozed off pretty quickly since we were so tired.

-skip 8 hours of sleep

I woke up and was blinded by the sun I looked over at Matt I guess we moved around in our sleep since Matt was sprawled out with his arms over his head and his face was facing me but he looked so fucking hot he was shirtless and I could see his cut v-line making my mouth water. I also couldn’t help but smile at how cute he looked as he slept peacefully. Today I’ll be driving the rest of the 15 hours we have left to be honest i’m dreading it but it’s only fair since he drove all day yesterday. I looked for my phone so I could check what time it was when my phone load up I saw it. It was about 12 in the afternoon. I didn’t think we’d sleep for that long, but I’m not mad about it. We needed good rest for getting through the rest of this road trip. I decided to wake up mad because I really had to pee and I didn’t wanna go alone.

Hey Matt wake up I gotta pee

Hmm what he said in a husky morning voice making my stomach tumble and my pussy to flutter .

I said wake up I gotta pee

God what time is it

Twelve

Dayummm we got some good sleep let me put my shirt on then we can go to the bathrooms

Okay . I usually sleep with no pants but it got so cold in here last night I had to wear some

He put his shirt on and we got out of the car locking it and heading to the bathrooms .

I went pee ran some cold water over my face and then walked out meeting Matt . As we were heading back to the car Matt went to the drivers seat .

Matt wait I’m driving today

No no it’s fine I want to drive

Are you sure I can drive you don’t have to ! You drive the whole day yesterday

No I promise I’m good to drive just sit and relax

Alright I mean I’m not complaining but just let me know if you get tired and wanna switch

I will now get in we got a long road ahead of us

Ugh let’s get these 15 hours over with

We started driving as we listened to frank ocean, kid cudi, Mac miller and the killers.

So uh what you feeling today

What do you mean

Like uh feeling frisky like yesterday or

Not right now no why

No reason just asking

Hmm okayyy

So do you wanna just chill when we get to the cabin . We could just unpack settle in and make a fire and watch some movies

Yeah that sounds good to me I mean we have three weeks to do shit there so you know we don’t have to go crazy our first night or even our second night

Alright yeah let’s lay low tonight and tomorrow we are gonna have to get dinner though and stop by the store for some groceries at some point

True I’ll look for a place to eat when we get close and we can just stop in our way in

Sounds good but uh anything sound good for lunch

Yeah I kinda really what chick fil a

Okay I’ll put in a stop on directions for the next one

Okay also how does Italian sounds for dinner

That’s sounds great to me

Okay cool I’ll call real quick to make sure we won’t need a reservation

*Call to restaurant*

Okay we don’t need to make a reservation we’re good

Alright sounds good

I cant stop looking at Matt he’s just so mesmerizing his hair is so fluffy his eyes are so blue his lips are so pink and perfect I just want to his him and his neck is just mmm god I wanna put hickeys all over it every-time he swallows my stomach flutters a little the way his Addams apple bobs makes me hot idk why but I’m weirdly attracted to prominent Adams apples just something about em you know.

Hey you good

What oh oh yeah sorry

Your good you were just staring really hard at my neck so I wanted to make sure you were good

Oh yeah sorry I was just looking at your adams apple

What why hahah

I don’t know I just think they are hot

Oh really he says with a smirk

Yeah idk why but I do

Interesting

I just laughed a little at his confused but intrigued face.

Matt tells me we’re getting off on the next exit for chick fill a so I went ahead and places a mobile order for us so we could get in and out quickly.

We got our food and kept on driving .

Damn I didn’t realize how hungry I really was

Yeah you demolished that shit

Yeah I know I’m shocked I’ve never finished a meal that fast

Real

I smiled at him and started playing one of our favorite songs and we started singing along to Justin’s verse since it’s the best part.

So uhh I was thinkin

Okay what about

Just how wet for me you were yesterday

Oh uh ye-yeah

Have you ever you know thought about me doing stuff like that to you before

Oh uhhh yeah I guess yeah

How much

Umm a lot I guess

Oh really any of those times been when I’m with you

I mean yeah I guess you know sometimes when I sit on your lap at party’s or when you look at me a specific way or even at sleepovers when we share a bad

Mmmm he says in a thinking tone

Why have you thought about me like this before

Oh trust me over done more than just think about it

Ohhh so you touch yourself and think of me is what your saying

No what I’m saying is the thoughts I have if you are the reason I touch myself

Mmm that’s hot

Really

Yeah

Oh well then

You remember that guy James who I had a little thing with a couple months ago

Yeah why?

You wanna know the reason we broke it off

Yeah i guess

I accidentally moaned your name instead of his when he was Fucking me and might I say he was doing a really bad job

Holy shit that’s funny you did nottt

Yep I sure did and he got so mad he slapped me and told me to never talk to him again

Damn

Yeah I thought it was pretty funny if I don’t say so my self

No yeah that’s fucking funny but also really hot to know you were thinking of me when another guy was fucking you

Oh yeah

Yeah

Hmm

Hmmm

I also have a dildo I pretend is you sometimes

Oh fuck

That caused Matt to shift in his seat and I couldn’t help but notice the huge bulge in his sweatpants.

Ooh someone is getting a lil excited

Oh shut up it’s you fault

So if it’s my fault I should probably fix it huh

Oh yeah I mean idk road head seems pretty dangerous

Yeah but I would make you feel so good I say as I run my hand over his bulge causing his breathe to hitch.

Oh Fuck okay fine

I smile as I unbuckle and bend over the middle console and untie his sweats and pull them down till his dick pops out and FUCK ME ITS BIIIIIIG.

LIKE BIIIIIIG BIIIG.

I kinda had a feeling he was big but god damn this is more than I imagined .

Fuck Matt your huge

Well are you gonna sit and stare or are you gonna be a good girl and fucking suck it

Mmm idk I might sit here and stare for a bit

I said laughing a little afterwards at his reaction he gave me a death stare and tightened his hands in the wheel.

I slowly bring my mouth down to his tip and kiss it causing Matt’s breathe to hitch I slowly bring his dick into my mouth and fuck my life I’m already gagging on not even half of him he’s so thick that my mouth feels like it’s slowly tearing at the sides but I power through. I start bobbing my head on what’s in my mouth and bringing my hand s down in what I can’t fit. I gagging and drooling all over his dick as I suck faster and harder causing Matt to let out small whimpers and moans that are driving me crazy.

Come on ma I know you can take more in your mouth

I shook my head no at him there is no way I can fit more .

Yes you fucking can if you won’t do it I’ll make you

I pull my head off him for a second so I can talk

Don’t you fucking dare push my head down Mathew or I swear to god

I go back down to sucking him in running my tongue across the vain on the bottom when all the sudden he starts thrusting into my mouth causing me to gag and choke .

Tears are streaming down my face and grab his thigh trying to stop him from thrusting into me but he didn’t budge instead he grabs my hair and forces me to hold my head onto him while he thrusts deeper causing me to deep throat at-least half of him .

Mmmm you look so hot struggling on my dick ma

His words cause me to moan and suck harder bringing him closer to finishing.

Fuckk ma your so fucking good taking me like a good girl

I moan again and feel his hips stutter and his dick twitch in my mouth he lets go of my head letting me come up I start sucking on his tip causing him to moan loudly he sounds so hot that it makes me moan around him . The vibrations from my moan send him over the edge as he came in my mouth.

I swallow but continue sucking him having a newfound confidence I take him down my throat.

FUCK Y/n st-stop I already c-came ma

I come up from him with a smile on my face proud of the work I just did .

God your so fucking beautiful ,all fucked out from ducking my dick

Mmm yeah yeah but seriously Matt your huge my jaw hurts so bad right now

Ehh you’ll be fine drama queen

Fuck you

Oh trust me you will

No way that’s fitting in me

Oh really

Mhm I haven’t had sex in like a year and a half it’s gonna take a lot of 4 play to even get that shit in

Well lucky for you I love 4play I’ll make you cum so many times it’ll slide right in

Oh yeahhh okay Matt whatever you say

What don’t believe me

No guy has made me cum even once so have fun trying to do it multiple times

Seriously no one made you cum even once what the fuck

Nope

Have they even tried

Yeah until they get bored and stop or they just cum to quickly and Don’t even try to make me cum after most guys just care about them cumming and not me

Well don’t worry I’m not like that at all

Oh really and what makes you so different

I thrive off making a girl cum and I last pretty long so

Oh yeah and what’s “long “ to you

2 hours sometimes three

Damn

What haha

Nothing that’s just a long time

Yeah but at-least it means I’m not cumming in 10 and leaving you laying there wanting more

Yeah I guess that’s true I don’t think I’ve had sex longer than 30 minutes

Really?

Yeah like I said most guys don’t last very long

Hmm maybe your Pussy is just so good they can’t help themselves

Oh yeah for sure that’s it

We both laughed and I turned up the song that’s started playing.

God I love this song

Yeah it’s good I’ve heard you okay it a couple times

Yeah it’s my hyper fixation song right now

What makes you like it so much

Well I love background beat it just makes you wanna sway around you know how I love making a whole movie scene in my head to songs

Yeah and I love hearing about em

Really you do

Yeah what’s yours for this song

Well It feels kinda like a Halloween song with the background music so I envision a girl in the woods like a party in the woods with rave lights and stars and the moon shining and she’s just standing around in a crowed of people dancing by a fire pit and she just swaying her hips running her hands over her body and then a guy walks up to her and asks if he can dance with her and she says yes cause he’s like the most beautiful guy she’s ever seen so she turns around and they sway together and he runs his hands over her sides and up to her neck making her arch her head into his chest kinda like in the crook of his neck as he whispers things into her ear.

Wow you make all this up in your head to a 2 minute song

Yeah I’m very imaginative

You don’t say but you really set the scene I could see it playing in my head as you explained

Good I’m glad I explained it well

Oh yeah perfectly explained

We both smiled at each other I started to feel like I had to pee so I told him and he said he looks for the next stop we only had about 5 hours left of our drive which was exciting.

We stopped to pee then got back on the road

Okay let’s make a list of things we need from the store

Okay ummm we’ll need stuff to cook for breakfast

Okay maybe some pancake mix and chocolate chips , bacon , fruit, some chips , hot chocolate mix and coffee, some type of sodas and then we can figure out some stuff that we can cook for dinner a couple nights .

Sounds good to me

Alright got a list well go after dinner yeah

Yep sounds good

I decided to take a nap the rest of the drive

I got woken up by a light tapping on my cheek

Hey y/n wake up we’re at the restaurant

Hmmm what

We’re at the restaurant sweetheart

Oh okay let me out my shoes on

Yeah your gonna want to out on a jacket to it’s snowing

Ugh already

Yeah but it looks so pretty

I got my shoes on and we went in and got sat at our table.

We ate our food pretty fast since we haven’t eaten anything but snacks in the car

We got back in the car and went to the store to get all the shut we needed which was a lot just incase we got snowed in for a couple days.

We reached the Airbnb after about a 30 minute ride.

We got out and started unloading or stuff we started unpacking the groceries into the fridge and I couldn’t help but get distracted by the kitchen it was literally like my dream kitchen.

I decided to go check out the rest of the house since Matt said he got the bags and didn’t want me to get covered in snow.

The staircase was even fucking cool. I kept going up until I reached the second floor there was a small room to the left and then two big doors at the end I guessed it was the master room and walked in .

What the fuck first it’s huge and the bed is right by the window making it feel cozy but dark.

I take a look around and look for the place to put unpack my clothes. I didn’t see a dresser so I took that as there has to be a closet . I look to the left and see a big door guessing it’s either the bathroom or closet . I go to open it and wow .

Just wow I mean it’s amazing how they designed this place .

I cant wait to shower in there honestly it’s cool asf.

I go back out so I can actually find the closet when I hear Matt call my name .

Y/N YOU GOTTA COME SEE THIS.

COMING. WAIT WHERE ARE YOU.

THE BASEMENT LEVEL

OKAY IM COMING

I ran back down the stairs as fast as I could

When I reached the basement level I called for Matt

IM IN HERE ALL THE WAY DOWN THE HALL

OKAY IM COMING

I followed where he said he was and…

OMG coolest shit I’ve ever seen i audibly gasped

This is so fucking COOL

I know right he says smirking at me

matt came around me hugging me from the back holding tightly

Matt.. what are you doing

nooooothingggg

all the sudden he picked me up I knew damn well what he was going to do

MATHEW BERNARD I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU THR-

all the sudden im submerged into the warm water mind you FULLY FUCKING CLOTHED

I come up to the surface couching then glaring at matt

MATT WHAT THE FUCK

YOU USED MY MIDDLE NAME THATS WHAT YOU GET

I got an idea I smiled up at him swimming to the edge

can you at least help me out of here

yeah fine he says putting his hand out to me I reach and then yank on it pulling him in

I laugh to myself as I watch him flip into the water

he comes up for air coughing

OH YOUR DEAD

OH YEAH COME GET ME THEN

I said starting to swim way from him to the other end only to get pulled back by my foot

your not getting away that easily princess

the name giving me butterflies as he pulls me into him .

matt let go

mmm no

ugh I huff out trying to get out of his grip

starting to regret your decisions hmm

nope

well your about to he says before yanking my shirt over my head exposing my tits to him.

fuck mama your tits are so nice

oh shut up suddenly he starts sucking on my left nipple sending my head back and a moan slips out of my mouth.

he keeps sucking then moving to my right sucking and biting at it making me a moaning mess. he moves to by neck sucking harshly definitely leaving marks.

mmm fuck matt

yeah you like when I leave marks on you

mhm I whine out as I shake my head yes

he kisses up to my ear then slightly nipping at my earlobe he doesn't know but I love that shit .

I wrap my arms around his neck as I move my legs to wrap around his waist.

matt I whine out as he continues leaving marks all over my neck

he kisses up to my face and then harshly kisses me . God his lips feel so perfect on mine

I move my hands down his chest and start pulling his shirt up he disconnects our lips so I can fully pull his shirt over his head.

He comes back into the kiss and I run my nails down his torso causing him to groan into my mouth.

He moves his hands down my back to grab my ass causing me to moan into the kiss. he moves his hand to the waistband of my pants and starts pulling them down so drop my legs from around him to make it easier.

Once they are off I move my hands down to his waistband and start pulling his pants off as he helps by stepping out of them both of us left in our underwear.

lets take this up to the room mama

okay

We both swim to the stairs and start stepping out immediately being hit with cold air my nipples and boobs hardening more than I thought was possible .

I start shivering and matt notices so he grabs me and throws me over his shoulder as he starts making his way to the stairs leading back upstairs.

matt I say giggling as my body sways over his back

put me down

oh I will in a minute don't worry he says as he slaps my ass

I moan as we reach the top of the stairs and he starts walking to the room.

we enter and he throws me down onto the bed

he immediately rips my underwear off causing me to gasp.

he moves his fingers through my slit

Fuck ma your soaked

mmmm I moan out from his fingers grazing me and his words

he pushes two fingers into me causing my hand to grasp at his bicep and a load moan to escape my mouth

you sound so pretty when you moan for me ma

f-fuck matt feels so good

mmm yeah you like when my fingers are in you don't you

y-yes matt fuck

he starts thrusting them in and out faster as he moved his face in-between my legs and start sucking on my clit

FUCK MATT OH M-MY GOD

he starts sucking my clit harder as he curls his fingers hitting the perfect spot

F-FUCK MATT JUST LIKE THAT FUCK IM GONNA CUM

your gonna have to ask for permission to cum

mmm matt fuck please please

please what slut

FUCK PLEASE CAN I CUM PLEASE PLEASE

fuck you sounds so hot when you beg but yeah ma cum all over my face

F-FUCK MATT IM CUMMING MMMM MY G-GOD

good fucking girl that's it

fuck fuck I say as I come down from my high

he pulls his fingers out and brings them to his mouth sucking my juices off.

fuck that's hot

oh yeah? he says with a smirk

mhm I say smirking back

you know what would be even hotter

what

you calling me daddy

oh uuuuuh idk ive never really done that before

do you wanna make me happy

more than anything

then call me daddy

okay Fine ill do it

good girl he says as he grabs me by the throat bringing me into a heated wet kiss

I moan into the kiss as his other hand goes down to remove his boxers

he pulls away as he spits down onto his dick and fuck me something about it made me moan it was just so hot

you like watching me spit on my cock ma

mhm I whimper looking into his eyes

he starts to line his tip to my soaked entrance

he slowly pushes into me causing me to wince at the way he's stretching me

you okay mama he asks slightly concerned im guessing my face was showing my discomfort

mhm yeah your just stretching me the fuck out

I know ma im sorry but don't worry you'll be okay in a second

mhm I know you can keep moving

he starts pushing in more of his length causing me to whimper

fuckkk your so fucking tight

mmm fuck matt

you doing okay ma that's only half

fuck that's only half I whimper out

he chuckles out a yeah

fuck just go all the way in

are you sure

yeah -yeah ill be okay

he pushes all the way in causing a whimpery cry to escape my mouth

ive never had a guy stretch me out this much im not so used to the feeling

fuck ma your squeezing me so tight

mm fuck your so big matt

let me know when I can move

o-okay you can move

he starts slowly thrusting in and out the stretching sensation slowly going away as it morphs into pure pleasure

F-fuck your taking me so well

f-fuck matt go faster

mmm no im not going faster until I hear the word daddy leave your mouth

f-fuck daddy please go faster

good fucking girl he says as he grabs my neck and spreads up his thrusts.

MMM FUCK DADDY YOUR S-SO DEEP

yeah fuck your so fucking wet for me

F-FUCK MATT IM ALREADY SO CLOSE

yeah you wanna fucking cum

fu-fuck yes pl-please

beg for it he says gripping my throat harder

p-PLEASE DADDY FUCK CAN I CUM

yes slut you can cum cover my fucking cock

my legs start shaking as I inch closer to my orgasm

F-FUCK FUCK IM GONNA CUM

come on ma give it to me he says as he bring one hand down and starts rubbing my clit

FUCK OH MY GOD DA-DADDYYY

I scream out as I cum all over his dick

that's a good girl summing all over my cock fuck squeezing me so hard

f-fuck matt i moan as I come down from my high as he keeps fucking into me .

I start to become overstimulated from my two orgasms ive already had

f-fuck s-slow down I c-cant take it

no slut I know you fucking can now spread your legs wider

f-fuck I c-cant its to much

I wasn't fucking asking now either you do it or I do it for you he says as he slaps me across the face

I whimper as I spread my legs wider for him and move my hands to his back as he fucks into me faster

good girl your listening so well

FUCK your s-so fucking deep I c-cant take it I say as I move my hands to his hips to try and push him out

oh no no keep your fucking hands down

matt I cant take it I say as tears stream down my face from how deep he's hitting sending me even more overstimulated

he pulls out as he garbs my hair tightly causing me to whine

turn over ass up . now.

mmm no I cant

no? okay fine ill do it then he says as he grabs my hips flipping me then forcing me down by by my back to arch for him

he thrusts back in now going hard and rough hitting so deeply my legs shake and I cant stop the moans from escaping me

FUCK DADDY OH-M-MY GOD I CANT I say reaching back trying to push him out . he harshly grabs my arms holding them behind my back before he leans down to my ear.

keep your hands to . your. self im not gonna fucking tell you again he says dominantly as he slaps my ass hard causing me to buck and whine he does it 5 more times before running his hand over the hand mark soothing it.

F-FUCK DADDY OH MY GOD IM GONNA CUM

yeah you gonna cum all over my cock

yes GOD YES FUCK

give it to me mama come on

oh fuck FUCK FUCK JESUS I scream as I cum undone

good girl that's it awww look at you shaking and squirming

JESUS MATT PLEASE I CANT TAKE ANYMORE

he pulls out of me as I flop down onto my stomach ad flip over to look at his as tears stream down my face as my legs shake uncontrollably

your doing so good for me such a good girl he says stroking my face softly as I catch my breath.

he shoves two fingers into me causing me to gasp he curls them and moves them at a fast pace at this point im squirming and writhing underneath him I move my hands to his wrists begging him to stop

he grabs my arms and holds them above me as I scream moan as I feel a new high coming on

fuck you hear how wet you are for me

mhm MHMMMM FUCK DADDY

you gonna squirt for me mama I know you are I can feel you pushing into my fingers

FUCK MATT OH MY GOD I scream out as I feel my juices leaking out of me and spraying out onto the bed and matt

fuckkk good girl that's it

I start trying to move away from his hand kicking my legs becoming so overstimulated I wanna cry its painful but in a good way.

he lays down and pulls me onto his lap as he kisses me deep and possessively.

I grind down on his hard dick causing me to squirm from it rubbing my swollen and sensitive clit.

your gonna ride me baby think you can handle that

I-ill t-try

good girl lift your hips for me

I do as he says. He lines himself up to my whole and helps me sink down .

I start to try and bounce the best I can since my legs are still shaking pretty bad he helps as he keeps a firm grip on my hips lifting me up and down onto him.

fuckkkk you look so fucking hot onto of me

fuck matt m-my legs are so t-tired I c-cant

he wraps his arms around me and brings my chest to his and starts pounding into me from underneath hitting a spot that has me screaming for him

MATT MATT OH MY GOD

god- your doing so good taking me so well

I tighten around him as I squirt all over his cock and the bed

fucking shit such a good girl he says as I shake onto of him

f-fuck matt im so o-overstimulated I ca-cant take anymore

come here its okay mama ill give you a minute to calm down

I lay on his chest with his dick still in me as he rubs my back softly

I slowly start to calm down as I feel my pussy pulse around him as I start to crave him again.

you wanna flip back over baby ill go easy on you I promise

ye-yeah but I want it rough matt

are you sure I don't actually want to hurt you

I promise ill be okay so what if I won't be able to walk tomorrow its not like were going anywhere

okay mama flip over legs up on my shoulders

I slide off of him as I lay on my back and he hovers over me helping me lips my shaking legs over his shoulders.

he pushes back into me causing me to let out a load moan

fuck I love this little pussy

f-fuck matt so fucking deep

yeah you like that want it rougher baby

y-yes fuck please daddy please

he starts pounding into me hard causing me to scream out as my legs start shaking really hard .

he moves down to kiss me causing my legs to meet my chest and give him and even deeper angle

I moan into the kiss he moves his hand to my neck causing me to clench around him .

you like when I choke you don't you slut he says with a smirk on his face

mmmmmm fuck yes I love it

such a little slut for my cock aren't you

I cant even get words to come out of my mouth as he's pounding me so hard all I see is stars

answer me he spits out slapping me across the face

fuck yes im - a-slut for you fuckkkk

who's slut are you

yours fuck d-daddy all yours

such a good little slut for me god look at you shaking

f-fuck can I cum please please please

cum on my cock baby

with his words I come undone so hard my hips lift off the mattress and buck into his my eyes rolling to the back of my head as my hearing goes out for a couple seconds from how hard im cumming.

fuckkk your squeezing my cock so hard god damn

f-fcuk matt oh my god I say as my breath hitches as I come down from my high.

such a good girl for me im getting close I promise

fuck matt c-can you slap me again I say kinda hesitant.

yeah you like that

y-yes fuck please slap me

he slaps me causing me to moan loudly

fuck do it again harder

god such a little slut for me he says as he slaps me harder this causes me to cum again

fuckk such a little slut cumming from me slapping you huh

f-fuck matt

he pounded into me harder and deeper I bring by hands to his back for support scratching my nails dow deeply into his skin causing his to groan out

fuck keep doing that ma leave marks all over my back

I do as he says scratching down his back harder as his thrust start to sputter and his breathing gets heavier

fuck baby im gonna cum where do you want it

in me fuck matt fill me up

mmm fuck such a slut for me he says as his hips snap into me one last time and I feel his warm hot cum spill into me

fuck matt mmm i moan as he pulls out and I feel our mixed cum leaking out of me'

you did do good for me baby god you look gorgeous all fucked out

I smile at him as my entire body is shaking from the best fucking sex ive had in my entire life

he flops down next to me pulling me into him as he pulls the covers over us

you wanna take a nap

yes please im exhausted I just had the best sex of my life

same I don't think ill ever be able to let you go after feeling how amazing you feel

then don't let go I say smiling up at him he kisses my forehead as we both drift off to sleep.

the end.

xoxo

[taavisplushies]

some of my childhood stuffed animals!!!

let’s go!!! nostalgia time!!!

first up we will look at all the webkinz (except for my frogs bc those ones are on a shelf)

there was this lil store in town that would sell webkinz for cheaper than meijers, so if i got good grades or something my mom would take me there and let me choose 2! but meijers always had a better selection so sometimes we would go there, but they were more expensive so i could only get 1.

lil kinz grey n white cat my beloved… i got her from my aunt for christmas one year :’) first ever webkinz, i was so excited!!

my mom hated the mohawk puppy because she thought mohawks were a sin

the signature clouded leopard introduced me to the animal and i was obsessed with them for a while!

the clydesdale horse is kinda special! my dad got it for me from ebay :) he normally never got me stuffed animals because he thinks they’re a waste of money. i also thought it was cool, because the internet was new to me, and i didn’t know you could buy stuff online!

not going into details about the traumatic event obviously but it’s kinda funny, because basically i had to pack a bag super quick and i spent forever deciding which plush to take with me lol (i think i was in shock or something, because i was not thinking clearly)

okay that was a lot of plushies… now i am tired… oof.

claw machine prize time!

i love claw machines, i would play them all the time! my favorite was this little one at little caesar’s in the next town over. the machine was really easy to win! i also remember walmart used to have a bunch of claw machines!

not going through the whole box, because most of them aren’t very interesting.

my first ever claw machine win is the little angry tiger! i was probably 4?? and it was at walmart. my dad moved the claw into position and i pressed the button :) i was so excited!!!!

the black and white bunny was a win from the little caesar’s i mentioned earlier. i loved it! the plush is super soft and good quality. normally claw machines have cheap toys so i was impressed!

the carrot farmer bunny is super cool! she originally had a straw hat, but the claw ripped it off :( i was never able to get it…. but that’s okay! also one of her legs is sewn on backwards. weird. but i still think she’s super cute!

next is miscellaneous plushies

i am even more tired now, so i’m not going through the entire box… sorry

these are mostly from garage sales! some of them were bought brand new though (and those ones were always so cool to me)!

i loved that chipmunk so much. i carried him with me around the house and i would sleep with him every night. i got him from the zoo on a field trip! i remember there was so many plushies, it was hard to choose just 1! unfortunately i did puke on him once, so my dad put him in the washer then dryer. when i saw him after he came out of the dryer i was so upset. he’s different! i hate change. i cried. he’s not soft anymore. i still loved him though, because it’s not his fault that his fur got messed up.

i don’t remember where the white dragon is from, but she’s so cool! i’ve heard it could be worth money but idk.

okay i’m done. super tired now. gonna sleep on the floor. goodnight <3

[twocrabcake]

alright here’s the deal

i’m gonna make a percentage of how many trap victims/related persons survive

wish me luck this is gonna be tedious 🫡

it’s been an hour or two since i wrote that lol i got busy

idk i’m starting when its like 12am????

survived: iiiiiiiiii

not: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

special (survived): iiiiiii

special (not): iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

special is either 1 the game was rigged or 2 they beat the game but died some other related way (ex: adam) 3 or if it was up to somebody else to save you as part of their game (ex: eric matthews, like a lot of them actually)

special good is when it was rigged/something was against them or different but they still beat it. hold on hold up i’m looking for an example rn. ok the secretary lady deborah or something she was in a trap out of her control but she survived.

(timing these for some reason) 1:12 am

dude idk where to put matthews bc his first game was a fluke and he survived but he was also like saved? idk man i’ll think about it (i put him in special died OH GOD NO LOOK AT NOTES)

i can’t put my headcanons/theory’s in here okay cowabummer dude (i have to put adam in dead i’m sorry ok)

1:20 (^im realizing now a shit ton of these fall into the special category whoopsies maybe i got too specific)

1:28 aw dude the fatal 5 are gonna suckkkk bc they’re all working together and linked and connected and shit fhhhghh

1:33 okay dude the steam lady is difficult bc the first half was a special but the last wasn’t. fuck it im just gonna say she could have survived the burns herself

1:40 can’t decide if the first and rebooted games from jigsaw should be put in together or if they should be separate. i just finished i smoked an entire bowl and i am trying my best here ok

1:50 the train guys is rigged they don’t explicitly say it but there’s no way

1:58 alright. fucking finally. that experience was just a downward spiral haha get it bc i hate that movie. also hate jigsaw the movie jigsaw. this was very unpleasant once i’m done with this shit i’m gonna fall asleep to saw 5 or smthn.

2:02 i have to use a counter online bc i’m too tired to count all those little i bitches

2:06 the fruits of my labor. my creation. behold

Pie chart

there we fucking go. a ratio. OH MY GOD THEY FUCKING SEPARATED THE 2 DEADS IM GONNA KILL. YOU. YOU WILL BE BOILED.

oh thank god

ok so there it is. the ratio of victims that survived and victims who’ve perished in jigsaws traps. you don’t know how much footage i’ve skimmed through. 1 like=1 ass kicking for to me because what was i thinking

me laying down in bed after this ↓

WAIT NO I FORGOT TO INCLUDE FUCKING ERIC MATTHEWS. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

2:18 ok here it is. the real true official one.

sorry for all that. thank you for accompanying me on this task. i did not have fun. except when i was watching 1-3d but then after that it sucked. 1-3d even took up almost all of the view time but the last bits were so unpleasant it threw that all out the window. gonna go watch one of the original saw movies. you can tell saw x will be good bc it has saw in the name. the title. oh my god oh god i’m realizing i forgot people. i think i forgot bobby. what the hell man screw this i’m going to sleep. i’ll deal with it when i wake up and wonder what the fuck i was on last night. thank you for joining me on this journey of a mental breakdown everybody. a mental spiral, even, if you will. i’m imagining cheesy ending scene music like the character/actor is thanking the audience. signing, logging off at 2:34 am. goodnight everyone.

[sleepyscxry]

Yandere Alastor x male reader

major trigger warning. This is my first post so it might be a bit crusty and dusty

your POV

I had fallen down to hell about a month ago. Already an overlord. I’ve killed a bunch of r@pists and disgusting souls. But I did find one place that was for redemption. I did not understand how someone gets an idea like that but I’m on my way to it to become an employee! God fucking damnit how did I get into this mess.. I got to the front door and knocked three heavy times. After a second a girl that looks sixteen or so. She looked at me as if I was half skinned. She slammed the door and I heard chattering. She opened the door. “Uhm.. hi” “hello there I saw a poster about this place and I thought I could lend a helping hand by gaurding this hotel of vermin.” “What do you mean by vermin?” “Ahahaaa r@pists, child @busers. And more!” “That does.. kinda make sense.. but you’re an overlord.. why do you care?” “Oh because I went through oh so much when I was alive, I am now Dead Set on killing every one who truly deserves it!”

Time skip

I had gotten used to the hotel a bit after an hour or two. But I saw a new face walking down the stairs. “Oh Charlie who might this be?” The man said. “Oh this is our new employee y/n!” “Pleasure to meet you darling! I am Alastor.” “Oh yeah I’ve heard quite a lot about you. Nice to finally meet someone close to my power range.” “Pardon?” “HOW DOES AN OVERLORD NOT KNOW AN OVERLORD?!” “No need to yell vaggie, Alastor I’m sorry to tell you but y/n is beginning to be the most powerful overlord there is.. even my dad is best friends with him..” “ohh your lucifers kid. He told me he had a daughter!” She smiled and looked at Alastor. “It’s my pleasure to meet you y/n but I must take care of some business.” “K have fun!” He turned around and grinned at me. “May I ask.. when did you die?” “Oh last month maybe month before that. No definitely last month on the 25th. Aka Christmas!” “Oh that’s so sad.. I’m so sorry to hear that.” “Meh I got the gift of death that’s plenty.”

time skip

I was at the bar and I ordered rum and coke. A very comforting drink. “So how did you get to become an overlord so fast?” “I was powerful when I was alive and I’m even more powerful in the afterlife. It just makes sense if you’ve known me for awhile.” “Thats cool.” “How did you get the form of a furry?” “Furry?” “Yeah it’s where your body represents a animal hybrid.” “Oh.. idk” “ah”

another time skip (I’m so sorry)

I went up to my new bedroom and it was pretty plan so with just a snap of my fingers it was as home like as can be. I laid down and tried to fall asleep. Keyword tried but I heard loud footsteps outside. I got my slippers on and looked outside my door. It was Alastor. “Alastor? What are you doing up?” “Oh y/n! I’m just doing a nightly stroll around the hotel. Would you like to join me?” “Uhm.. sure!” I walked out of my room and got beside him. “So.. do you do this every night?” “Yes I do! It’s good for tiring me for a good sleep!” “Yeah that makes sense.” We walked down the steps to the main room. He snapped his fingers and a fire started. “Let’s talk. Overlord to overlord haha.” “Ok” “so how did you die?” “Uhm.. some of my long lasting enemies tried drowning me and I hung myself on the tree closest to the lake.” “Oh wow..” “how did you? It’s only fair you tell me.” “I was mistaken for a deer and god shot in the head and a group of dogs finished me off.” “Oh that’s deep.. I wanted to die.. you didn’t.” “Oh I’m over it now. It’s quite fun here!” “Yeah.. I like seeing people suffer in their own sins..” “me as well.” I yawned. “I think I’m gonna head to bed. Goodnight Al.” “Goodnight darling.”

end of part 1

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Bon appétit for Part 1, you awful people. I've gone hardcore heavy for Zabel and this happened. Can we call ourselves Zabelles? Idk. I'm tired and sad that Colin is fictional. Goodnight tweam <3 ~ Belgianon

Being freshly moved-in to the house I’d bought with Colin was magical. The months we’d spent on paperwork, me handling the lion’s share since I wasn’t a police detective handling gnarly shit, felt like hurdles that were worth it to be here, finally. Both of us had put our stamp on the place, and seeing everything together in a delicate dance mirrored our relationship: Colin’s greys and blues with my little pops of colour here and there; his simplicity and craving for sleek corners, and my ornamental additions of vases, photos, and the odd Pixar trinket I’d slid in there quietly… it was heaven.

It also coincided with our six-year anniversary, and since we’d taken a huge step, I wanted to really show Colin how much I fucking loved him.

Are you home at the normal time tonight? X

Sure am, darling x

Oh, good x see you later ;)

I hopped in the shower, de-fuzzing every bit of myself I could reach (except for just a little bit where it mattered – I learned the hard way that a: I can’t take the pain of a Brazilian, and b: I can’t take the pain of the fuzz burn after said Brazilian, as much as Colin had enjoyed himself). Afterwards, I slathered myself in shea butter, put on a very slinky little bit of lace I’d bought to christen our new house in, and then covered it up with Colin’s police bomber jacket, and a pair of calf-length black socks. I would have gone full boots, but that would have been difficult to get off. Plus, the carpets were cream and brand new.

The pièce de résistance of my little outfit was in the safe in our shared office space. I punched in the combination and took out Colin’s handgun, removing all of the bullets immediately. Handguns made me feel just a little bit spicy… and I’d once read a spicy book about a lady with a gun kink, and I really wanted Colin to maybe try it out… he’d probably freak out, but no bullets… I fired the gun a couple of times to make sure there really was nothing in there, and then put the safety on out of habit. I also picked up his old police badge, and put it around my neck. God, it was sexy – even if I didn’t quite do sexy police detective as well as Colin did, it still had me almost dripping already.

Right on cue, the door downstairs opened, and Colin’s telltale routine of shoes off, coat off, keys in the pot, door locked, and “Honey, I’m home!” sounded. I grinned, moving to the bedroom where I sat on the armchair that faced the door. I played with a couple of positions: legs on the arms, legs crossed, one leg up… that was the one. One leg draped over the arm, the other sat normally, the gun against my thigh, Colin’s badge resting just a touch lower than my breasts… I was turning my damned self on.

Colin padded along the hallway.

“Sweetie?” he called. He stepped into the bedroom and turned on the light. And choked. “F-fuck.”

“Evening, detective,” I murmured, stroking the gun along my bare thigh.

“That’s government-issued property,” Colin muttered, running a hand through perfect hair. I lifted the gun. “I could arrest you for misuse…”

“Is that a promise, detective?” As dirty as it felt, I aimed the gun at him. A little trickle of fear ran down his spine, and I saw the bob of his throat as he swallowed. But then, he spied the lack of magazine, and smirked. Holding his hands up a touch, he stepped into the bedroom fully. “Or are you going to make me wait here all night long?”

“Depends,” Colin replied, pushing his hands into his pockets. Dominant… just what I really wanted. “The only crime you’re committing right now is the way you’re holding my gun.”

“This old thing?” I brought the barrel to my lips and almost kissed it. Colin’s bottom lip wobbled. I stood, moving to him.

“My jacket, too… you are being bad today, huh?” He traced the lapel of the bomber, fingers moving to my chest. “The fuck did I do to deserve you, hmm?”

I didn’t see him pull out the handcuffs he obviously kept on him for obvious reasons, but in one very sexy, very gorgeous, very fluid movement, he turned me around and cuffed one wrist to the foot of the bed, his mouth claiming mine in a kiss that both crushed me and left me desperate for more. And when he did step back, I tried to grab his suit jacket, but he was too fast.

“Colin! Please, baby, come back – you can take it all off me…”

“Who says I want to?” Colin said matter-of-factly, as though he wasn’t straining real fucking hard against the front of his trousers. He removed his jacket, and his tie, which he wrapped around one gorgeous, veined hand. “And who says I want to hear your bad little mouth talk, hmm?” He turned back to me, tracing my lips with his thumb. “Or maybe I don’t want you to be able to see what I’m going to do to you… my little felon.”

“You could choke me with it,” I replied, looking up at him. “But then, what will those hands do, hmm?” Colin chuckled, shaking his head. He kissed me again, crawling over me. He undid his trousers, watching me for a second. He traced the gold metal of his badge which was still around my throat.

“Impersonating an officer, too… the list really is endless with you tonight, isn’t it?”

Before I could reply, Colin attacked my skin, peppering little bites all over my chest, down to my stomach, peeling the thin lace from my ass so slowly, I nearly kicked him in the head to get him to go faster. I didn’t need to worry, though, because as soon as my ass was bare, he had his mouth on me, his tongue relentless as he pushed me towards a peak I didn’t realise I was already so close to. Colin slipped two fingers into me, and it was enough to send me crashing into my first orgasm of the night. Colin picked up the gun, my juices still on his fingers. He held it perfectly, those gorgeous fingers resting just so. With the dark look in his eye, he could have been a mob boss. An enforcer. The little smirk that pulled at his lip nearly made me come a second time.

“This shit turns you on?” I couldn’t reply.  I knew what I wanted him to do with it, but I didn’t really know how to vocalise it without sounding completely psychotic. He dropped the gun and shed his shirt, picking it back up as he crawled over me. He traced it along my bare skin, the cold metal making me shudder. “Six years together and there’s so much I don’t know about you…”

“C-Colin –“ I arched my back against him. “This was m-meant to be your surprise –“

“Mmm,” he murmured, pushing the gun against my temple. “And it is a surprise… Six years and you still find new ways to make me want to destroy you…”

Coming from a man who’d been practically landlord off-white the first time we’d had sex, this turned on the jet streams. I shivered. He grinned.

“Get a fucking move on then,” I breathed, my voice barely working. I hadn’t seen him do it, but the bastard had managed to shuffle his trousers down, so when he slid into me right to the fucking hilt, I wasn’t ready, and the noise I made confused the life out of me. Colin started his assault, the gun still in his hand as he pushed up and looked down at me, giving me a view of a muscular chest that I couldn’t touch because I was cuffed on one side. But the rhythm he set was punishing and relentless, and I could barely keep control of anything at all. He ran a hand through his hair again, pulling it from its usual style, returning his gaze on mine.

“Eyes open, baby girl,” he murmured. “I wanna see you fall apart…”

I felt a sense of beautiful panicked ecstasy start to build up in my abdomen again, the gun’s metal again by my head. It felt dangerous, and Colin looked dangerous as he dipped his head, maintaining the rhythm he’d set, the sounds absolutely deliciously sinful. Before I could fully comprehend, I saw stars, and my body snapped so much that I left the bed for a second. Colin must have come at the same time, because I felt his teeth against my chest, followed by a delicate series of kisses that trailed upwards this time, covering my jaw, and finally my lips. Soft, chaste kisses that were his come-down.

“I love you,” I breathed. “I love you so much.”

“I love you more, darling,” he murmured.

After a quick shower together, we ate some dinner and curled up on the sofa. Colin fell asleep, of course, and so when his phone vibrated softly beside him, I answered it, thinking it might be important. But it was my phone, actually, and a number I didn’t recognise.

If you want to know what Colin really gets up to when he’s on those stakeouts, come meet me at Castle Green tomorrow morning at 10am. I’ll approach you. Don’t reply to this number. It’ll get us both into trouble.

I frowned. My heart started to race as I read the text again. I was about to wake up Colin, but a second text came through.

And don’t tell Colin. He’s in deep shit and if he knows, he’ll follow you and you’ll both be dead.

My heart went into overdrive. What the fuck had my wonderful man gotten himself into?!

tweam, we have MORE 👁️🫦👁️

[trailmix5252]

welll today was eventful, and so was last weekend

where oh where to begin

over the weekend i got a ton of likes on hinge bc i was in austin and honestly my goal was to make out with someone before i got back home. and i did

1) person number one: aakash. aakash asked me out on a date pretty immediately and i was excited bc i like meeting new people and it was pretty fun. we met before acl at around 11 and i had to drive him to the date, and somehow i became the worlds worst driver and i kept on fucking up the directions and just being awful. then we got to the date which was actually a super nice spot. he bought me a matcha which was pretty yum, and then we talked about indian culture bc he was straight from india. i guess he did college here and has been living here for a while

we just talked and i slowly realized how uncultured i am and it was just so embarrassing for me imo. then we walked around lady bird lake and talked for a bit, we started talking about dating casually and what that looks like. i told him the coughing in my vagina story, which is my roman empire . we hung out and he told me a story about how he got super drunk and hooked up with a girl and his friends kinda encouraged him to, which just irked me a bit. then we got into my car and he made a comment about how small my hands are which like annoyed the fuck out of me, but i’ll let it slide. i told him he could hold my hand if he wanted to, so he did. and he held it tightly, and then i said you can ask to kiss me if you want to, so then he kissed me as i was DRIVING. haha. we kissed a bit as i drove, and he made a comment about finding a place to make out, to which i said idk i don’t live in austin. we drove up to his complex and made out a bit and it was overall mid. he kept on using a spiky toungue, and kept moaning which i just thought was so weird and horny. he left and i was free to go to acl

2) the next sexual prospect was kevin. me and kevin had been talking for a day or so, i think probably starting night one. kevin wanted to see me night two and kept on sending me horny messages, to which i told him he was too horny for his own good. he asked me about my coog radio stuff and was genuinely interested in my life, but i was too busy to hang out. i sent him a text at one point and it didn’t go through, so he sent me a goodnight text and i felt bad.

day 3 he sent me his full fucking address, so i knew i had to go. i brought my laptop with me so i could write up the articles in the press lounge, so i had more time to spend with kevin. once i got back to the hotel i just had to eat and edit my photos and freshen up a bit. then i got over to his place at around 11:30. i couldn’t figure out how to get in so someone helped me, and then i drove up to the complex, and he was waiting for me waving which was cute. i had to park in handicap bc there was no other parking available. it was a huge moral dilemma, but i somehow got through it. then we went up to his place… and i’ll stop there for now bc i’m tired of writing up this post

[callmey1]

ykw. So bored I’m not even doing this as an ask game.

1: it’s complicated. Kind of? My mom better than my dad

2: my amazing beautiful gf

3: oh god yes. too personal but many things

4: kinda, used to be way more

5: taken :}

6: either peacefully like in my sleep or doing something good to be remembered for. Like saving someone

7: a baked potato. I needed carbs

8: I play volleyball, it’s very fun. On middle rn but usually an outside

9:yes. Too much

10: uhhhh a while ago. Can’t put a date on it, but depends what you count. Last “real” fight was when me and some friends made an underground boxing ring years back for fun. Like yesterday if you count really small stuff

11: yes, my beautiful girlfriend

12: yeah. no big story I just forgot

13: not really, I dislike a lot of ppl but there’s nobody really specific that I hate

14: my gf ;-;

15: 2 dogs, an Aussie shepherd/swiss mountain and a labradoodle

16: bored and missing my gf

17: not yet

18: no I love spiders

19: no. The things I regret made me who I am today.

20: school

21: get good sleep

22: en este economia?

23: unfortunately none, gonna get at least my ears

24: math science and engineering

25: Not really, I guess I had more time to spend w friends that have drifted a bit but idk

26: hugs

27: god I hope not. Not to my knowledge

28: no

29: uhhhhh not in a bad way I hope. let’s go with no

30: my damn itchy volleyball jersey

31: yes :}

32: green! I’ve also become partial to cyan recently ;)

33: not anymore! shoutout my therapist

34: your honor i plead the fifth

35: touchy subject. I cry exclusively when I have a mental breakdown (not good) so my mom prob.

36: yes.

37: the whole point is you gotta do both

38: I like to think so. I’ve worked on myself a lot recently

39: 15

40: yes, for good reason

41-50 are blank lmao

51: Ooh tough, gotta be my grandmas tacos with fresh homemade tortillas.

52: the thought brings me peace so yes

53: texted my gf goodnight

54: there’s always nuance but I don’t think so.

55: generally no. used to be way more

56: oh. maybe 8. bc of siblings and the afformentioned boxing ring mostly

57: I do now :} keeping my private life private is getting hard

58: rain. love the rain

59: yes I love the snow. It’s so fun

60: yes. I like the idea of that connection w someone

61: I’m neutral on it. as pet names go it’s good and I’d like if my gf called me baby but it’s a tad overused

62: the people I surround myself with

63: maybe? I’ve no real attachment to it but I wouldn’t want to change it. Even if I am trans (I’m some form of queer idk I’m too tired to think abt it) my name is gender neutral so I’d just keep it for convenience

64: no. In fact I’m going to tomorrow.

65: politely decline but stay friends, like they did

66: yes. Both my gf and my best friend are women and I can be myself around them

67: my friend at my vb tournament

68: not for tumblr

69: I do now :)

70: there is now :)

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[ochalife]

Trying to appease my guilt of not writing for some time now bcos it’s not that I’m not writing bcos I don’t want to but bcos I’ve been so low on energy and time for several weeks now 😔 trust me I do want to work on my WIP dude my brain writes scenes at 3am it’s just that I don’t like doing shit halfheartedly and I feel like I won’t be proud of my work if I do it half-assed bcos I lack the energy to write it the way I want to you know ugh I CRYYY

So a little timeline of how I got to -1000% energy: I started working on a new fic last Oct 14 and wrote that entire week (though I went out with a friend on the 16th) until I had internship duty on Oct 19-23 then I went out with co-interns on the 24th, went out with my mom on the 25th then went out with my cousin on the 26th and had a family gathering that same day which lasted until past midnight bcos we had some drinks too

I tried catching up on sleep and recharging my energy the next few days after that bcos I was off duty anyway and I had no plans until I received news on Monday that I had to go out on Wednesday bcos of a scholarship thing. And idk it’s so hard for me to put my mind into a resting state when I know I have to go out and do errands again later during the week lol

So I went out again with my brother on the 30th, went out with my mom on the 31st, went out with my brother and cousin on Nov 1. Then today, the 2nd, I attended 2 birthday parties in 2 distinctly far places. And I have duty again on Nov 3-6!

Great. My duty starts at 6am later and I’m writing this at 2:20am bcos I’m just so TIRED dude I feel like no one will get how tired I am if I don’t explain what I’ve been through these past few weeks. Don’t get me wrong I’m incredibly thankful for spending time with friends and family but god DAMN what does a woman have to do to get a week of proper rest around here!!!

Okay goodnight world I have to wake up in 2hrs LOL good luck to me and my body later 😔

[star2sworld]

Hey. Long time no see sorry lol.

Okay, let’s get right into it. School started yesterday.. I had a really bad first day of school. Found out the guy I had liked a lot in middle school (he bullied me & is the reason I have extreme body dysmorphia) is in my 8th period class. I found out in 3rd period and I was having really bad anxiety and was stressed out for the rest of the day. I ended up crying in a few classes because I couldn’t hold it back anymore. When I got to 8th he kept glancing at me but it wasn’t even bad. We didn’t have to Introduce us to the class so I’m thankful. I came home and cried for 2 hours thinking if I’m even worth loving. After a few hours I did my English work and we had to find a quote that described our true self and we had to explain why we think it’s powerful and as I was searching I came across lizard wiz and she reminded me who I am. So grateful I did bc after that I realized he bullied me a verryyy long time ago and it’s about time I moved on. Yes, it had a really big impact and it affected me heavily but he’s irrelevant. Haven’t spoke to him in years I can’t let him control my life anymore. I can’t be scared to see him bc we do go to the same school and we have the same lunch ha shocker. Yesterday at lunch I asked this girl if I can sit by her bc she was alone and then her friends came in a few mins and they literally ignored my entire existence so that was great lol. I felt so awkward I literally just journaled. I felt too anxious to even get food so I didn’t eat.

Day 2 ( today )

- today classes felt much much better. I love my 1st and 2nd. 3rd period is a bit boring but it’s not too bad. Fourth I have art and I luv art !! It’s a relaxing class. Then I have lunch… I decided to sit somewhere else today. I sat at a long table. One half was filled with guys but there was a bit of space left near the windows so I went and sat there. Then I turned around and put my leg in one of the chair ish things and a few mins later some group of guys started calling me from their table. “ hey lady “ “ ayo “ “ she doesn’t hear u she has headphones in “ … next minute I hear “ HE WANT UR NUMBER! “ I turned around back to my seat so quick lol. Idk who even wanted my number but they were Nepali and sophomores pretty sure. Don’t think they’re my type either lol. I went to go get lunch ALL BY MYSELF! I think that’s a lot of improvement compared to yesterday :) I ran into COMBINATION ( guy who bullied me & his friend I thought was so fine last year ) let’s call them double P’s combination Alr. I literally kept running into them at lunch it was acc awkatd every time they saw me they just looked down. Can’t tell if they find me ugly or attractive don’t know but I like lunch I like seeing them p #2 ( his friend ) lol then I had history and we reviewed imperialism , capitalism, & socialism. It was interesting lol. Us owns nothing in china while china owns hundred in the us. Then I went to English , i actually love my teacher. She’s so motherly I feel safe with her. She’s so nice and real 😭. I literally like all my teachers their funny and acc entertaining. THEN 8th period happened omg. We got assigned seats n I sit very far from P #1 (bully) thank god. I sit far back opposite side of him :))) when the teacher was showing his classroom n the poster behind me p looked right at me n I felt sooo awkward lol but it’s alright.

That’s about it. I had no homework tonight so yeah. It’s 10:30 I’m tired. I’m heading to bed just thought I’d write since I haven’t in a week ish. Ama is coming tomorrow so I’m happy and I might go to Erie on Friday :) I’m going to wake up at 4:50 am tmr so I can shower in the morning. Felt to lazy to shower tonight lol. Anyways, I’m happy this year I feel focused. My goal is all A’s & loving myself. My main goals. I also got catfished by a girl lol but ill talk about it tmr bc there’s a lot of things to unwrap. Anyways goodnight.

See you guys tomorrow ;))) hopefully tmr is a good day. Stay positive babes

[egg2222222222]

11 30 22 1:32am How to feel like a girl

I always find myself complaining on this app because I get to both overshare and not actually tell anyone anything at the same time….. i like tumblr because i feel safe from showing the people i know a trait or personality idea or whatever of mine! i don’t know why i’m so worried of what my own friends think of me. Not to sound quirked up but i don’t feel like a normal girl

picture of mouse to express my longing feeling

But i am kinda seriously so tired of myself and i think i’ll always be seeking change. Like i am truly never satisfied w myself but not in the healthy normal way! I know it’s a human thing to evolve as a person but this persona i long for seems so far and almost OUT OF REACH.. I don’t want to be myself anymore. I’ve cried for many reasons for the past few weeks which is very abnormal for me Idk what’s happening. I keep telling myself that being born a male would make my life so easier but a part of me knows that’s not true at al… id be so ugly and i’d probably be twice as depressed honestly., i just don’t want to be me anymroe. But also what’s the point in being a girl if i’m already ugly !

i’ve always felt so sorry for my friends just because they’re friends w me.. mayb i amuncomfortable to be around…… i’m so sick of drowning myself in this guilty burden feeling.. i want to ghost everyone for a good 4 weeks and not have any repercussions but unfortunately there is no break at all in my life and i am in an eternal loop and i’m going insane goodnight!

1:51am 11 30 22

[leehallfae]

ah hmmm i liked the avta musical i think the production was wonderful but imo after the intense soul searching and mysticism of the novel it, especially the second act, felt incredibly shallow ?