#idiots AND lovers

[fan-fricking-fiction]

Between us (ep. 7) ft. commentary textposts (3)

other Between us posts <3

[foolishpensandidioticink]

In Which There is Trouble in Paradise

“You great foolish fop,” Sophie cried. “Is there no end to your selfishness?” Howl looked up from his spells with an affected air of innocence. “May I at least know why exactly you’ve chosen to visit your wrath upon me this time?” “And you have the audacity to pretend innocence?” Sophie raised her voice. “You slitherer!” “I am not!” Howl insisted. “If you’re going to scold me I’d like to know why!” “Is nearly killing someone such a routine activity that you need to be reminded of it?” Sophie yelped. “Wicked man!” “I am a very assiduous wizard,” Howl protested, twirling his blonde hair defensively. Sophie fought the urge to leap at him and yank it very, very hard.  

“So you don’t remember leaving a concoction of heaven knows what dripping- yes, dripping- above Calcifer this morning before you went off gallivanting to buy emerald-studded garters, or whatever frippery you indulge yourself in?” “Indeed, I don’t,” Howl answered impatiently. “I don’t understand why you’re so fussed about Calcifer all the time anyway. You’ll spoil him. Besides, he’s perfectly capable of leaving whenever he likes.”

“I,” Sophie said, drawing herself up to her full queenly height, “Have always felt that one would rather spoil someone than kill them.” Howl rolled his eyes. “The old ball of gas was never in any danger anyhow.” “So you admit it! You did drip all over poor Calcifer!” Sophie squawked. “So what if I did?” Howl flopped sulkily back in his chair. “You were clearly ready at hand to protect your darling Calcifer, therefore I see no issue.”  “Yes, well, I-” Sophie found herself at a loss for words. It wasn’t often Howl relented to her, but now that he had, she found herself wondering why she had picked a fight with him anyway.

“You’ve been a very bad wizard,” she said finally. When Howl continued to sulk, she added, “Traipsing off all day and leaving me by myself, an old lady like me. Wicked, wicked man.” “By yourself? By yourself indeed!” Howl exclaimed indignantly, sitting up again. “She has a Prince and a fire demon to tea every day and complains of being by herself!” Sophie gaped in angry astonishment. “What are you on about, you ridiculous man?” “Prince Justin!” Howl cried, leaping from his seat. “Always popping his crowned head in for a chat with another man’s wife! And Calcifer! Whenever I ask him to drop by, he’s much too busy with his travels, but when Sophie asks, there's all the time in the world!”

Sophie stood up and stared at Howl in sheer and utter horror. And then she began to laugh. She doubled over and laughed until tears were streaming from her eyes. Howl stretched his most wounded look across his face. “If you intend to laugh at my woes, perhaps I’ll head down to Michael’s. Then you’ll see what it’s like, always having to share. Heartless Sophie!” “Oh, Howl,” Sophie gasped finally. “You don’t mean to tell me that all of this sulking and keeping away from home was because you were jealous? And here I was thinking I’d frightened you off!” “What was I to think?” Howl wailed pathetically.

“Let me put your mind at rest, you wonderful imbecile. Prince Justin has been visiting so often because he needed a spell put into his armour, and it came out wrong. Calcifer is lonely. He misses moving the castle, though he’ll never admit it. ” Throughout this little speech, Howl’s jaw had been descending lower and lower. Sophie chuckled.

“So there. You still have plain little Sophie Hatter all to yourself.” “Oh, Sophie,” Howl groaned. He took her in his arms tightly. “What a pair we are!” “To think you were jealous of Calcifer!” Sophie giggled. “Oh, hush,” Howl said, “You can’t blame me for worrying. Dear, beautiful Sophie!” She smiled up at him, and he kissed her soundly. 

guys i reread the hmc book and omfg im obsessed like who knew all i needed to make me happy was a foolish fop, an old woman, an awkward fifteen year old and a sassy fire demon

[diavalkitty]

Oo-oh

I am the sand in bottom half of the hourglass...

[crowleys-hips]

[sadbenedict]

idea from this tweet

this is canon.

[jawnlockblog]

all of us right now:

[metalmiez]

‚You’re getting sappy again, angel.‘

‚Hmmm, I don’t see why that’s a problem‘ said angel murmured and his grip around the demon’s waist tightened.

Crowley rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t fight the fond smile that creeped up his lips. His left hand found its way into the angel’s curls and he placed a gentle kiss on Aziraphale’s hairline, lingered into the soft touch. The angel hummed and caressed the demons back.

‚Who‘s the sappy one now?‘ he teased.

‚Oh, shut up‘ Crowley complained, lips still on the angel‘s forehead. He felt Aziraphale laugh.

‚I’m sorry, my love. Of course that‘s all part of your malicious, evil plan‘

‚M‘yea. Very malicious plan‘ the demon grumbled as he put his arms around the angels neck ‚Very, very evil.‘

[heohl-art]

SO MANY of you asked for it, so here it is✨ Crowley's version~😺🖤 (you're not ready for the ESSENTIALS down below🤭)

Introducing: Crowley (cat). I imagined him as a stray, who walks at your door after you adopted Azi and, suddenly, you find yourself with two cats in the house✨

Crowley's Essentials (other than Aziraphale)✨ he's very needy~~

ps. can we just take a moment to consider a potential future as a pet supplies designer? I mean, look at the BENTLEY.

✨

Should I draw more of them? let me know~~

[laragomu]

are you fcking kidding me Arthur actually took Merlin to his ANNIVERSARY DATE with his WIFE.

[fan-fricking-fiction]

Between us (ep. 8) ft. textposts (4)

other Between us posts <3

[miss-americanbi]

ineffable husbands and ineffable bureaucracy perfectly sum up the two types of queer romantic relationships: painful mutual pining for 6,000 years and speedrunning from enemies to friends to lovers in the span of 0.5 seconds

[diavalkitty]

(I tried experimenting with lineart here)

[crowleys-hips]

ok i know everyone's analyzed the shit out of the Job minisode. but i think everyone has overlooked this Very Important detail, and it's this:

do you see it?

golden kermit collar

thank you for listening

[whiskeyandcigarsmoke]

Logan's got it real bad for a certain idiot.

[jawnlockblog]

Crowley and Aziraphale as cats

[himbosandhardwear]

It's a stupid fucking scheme, and he never would've gone along with it if he was sober, but she really didn't give him much time to contemplate it, she just shoved him into the pantry and yelled for Eddie to come into the kitchen.

Now he's got his head pressed against the slats while Rob asks Eddie if he thinks Steve is cute. Like they're in the fifth grade.

“Uhh,” Eddie drawls, clearly confused and put on the spot.

“C'mon,” she coaxes, “you can tell me, gay to lesbian solidarity.”

That's terrible, using that to weasel the information out of him.

“I mean…sure, I guess he's alright,” Eddie admits. “He's not really my type though.”

Oh.

Well…that's…fine.

“Seriously?” Rob asks like she doesn't believe him. “You don't think he's hot?”

“I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers, but, yeah, seriously. Not my thing. He's too…I don't know, high maintenance or something. I like my guys a little more, like, dingy.”

Steve nods to himself in understanding. He should've seen that coming but he hadn't. It's sobering.

Robin isn't finished arguing her case, the beautiful idiot. “Steve's dingy!” She yells, making Eddie laugh. “He is! He's plenty dingy! And he has other fine qualities! Like, uh, loyalty! And being helpful!”

“Are you trying to set me up with your painfully straight best friend or a golden retriever?”

“Steve's not-”

“Okay!” Steve shouts, bursting out of the pantry, yes he understands the irony, with both hands waving. “This was fun but let's wrap it up.”

Eddie stares at him, wide-eyed, but it quickly melts into anger. “What the fuck, Buckley? What kind of weird, pointless ambush is this?”

“It wasn't pointless, you fucking troglodyte. If you were paying attention-”

“Rob.” Steve didn't mean for his voice to do that but it has the intended effect. She clamps her mouth shut and pouts. “Sorry,” he says to both of them. To Eddie, “Seriously, it was a stupid idea. We're both drunk and being stupid, just forget this happened.”

Unfortunately, it doesn't look as though Eddie is going to forget any time soon. In fact, it's more like he's studying them both for clues, the wheels turning despite the whiskey and weed gumming them up.

Steve's about to turn tail and run when the lightbulb goes off. Eddie doesn't look like he believes the conclusion he's come to but he's figured it out nonetheless. “Wait. No. Seriously? No way.”

His eyeballs are aching. He pushes against them, causing starbursts behind the eyelids. “Can we please not do this?” He begs.

Eddie sputters. “If this is me finding out you're queer, Steve Harrington, then yes, we most certainly are!” He looks at Robin but she's stonewalling him in solidarity.

The fact that neither of them has said anything to the contrary is damning enough. Steve might as well have ‘bisexual’ tattooed across his forehead.

“Holy shit.” Eddie snatches Robin by the wrist, she tries to wrestle her way out but he's jangling her about like a rag doll. “Holy shit! You were trying to set us up! Holy shit!”

“Let go, asshole! You ruined it, remember?”

He does let her go, so he can stare at Steve in horror. “No! Fuck! Steve, I was bullshitting! I was lying my ass off, I swear!” He tries to round the corner of the island but Steve moves to keep it between them, unsure of this sudden development. Eddie stops when it's clear Steve isn't reciprocating.

They stare at each other until Robin breaks the awkward silence. “Prove it.”

Eddie shakes off the cobwebs. “Huh? I mean, how? I wasn't exactly doodling Mr Edward Harrington into my journals.”

She crosses her arms. “Then I guess we're done here.”

Steve doesn't point out that she's not actually in charge of this situation because it seems to motivate Eddie into action. He gives them the ‘one moment’ finger and then dashes outside.

“You believe him?” She mumbles.

“I don't know. At this point I'd probably settle for him looking to turn me into a bedpost notch.”

“Have some self-respect.”

“Nah.”

Eddie comes back, dragging Jeff by the arm.

“Tell him!” He shouts, finger pointed at Steve.

“Tell him what?”

“The thing that shall not be spoken.”

Jeff raises one eyebrow. “How am I supposed to-”

“Oh my god, just tell him.”

“No.”

Eddie blanches. “No? What do you mean, no?”

“You made me swear.”

“So?! I'm unswearing you! This is important! I need you to unfuck this situation, pronto! You can give him all the gory details, I don't give a fuck, just tell him!”

A gleam sparkles in Jeff's eye. “Every gory detail?”

Now Eddie, correctly wary, hesitates, glancing at Steve nervously. “Well, maybe not all-”

Jeff interrupts Eddie, turning fully toward Steve with, “Eddie is bananas in love with you. Probably has been since school, but it's gotten so much worse since this spring. I'd say seventy five percent of the songs he's written are about you. He's also got a fully fleshed out fantasy life involving you, including, but not limited to, five adopted Vietnamese kids, two cats and a dog.” He turns back to Eddie. “Can I go back outside now? Those hotdogs aren't going to eat themselves.”

Eddie, eyes closed, waves him away.

Before he's fully out of the kitchen, he turns and says, “Oh, also he has a VHS copy of one of your swim meets. Bought it off of some AV kid for sixty bucks.”

Steve's stomach, already roiling with excited nerves, erupts in butterflies.

Eddie does not notice this, head buried under crossed arms on the island.

“I think we've swung too far in the other direction,” Rob points out, oblivious to Steve's excitement. When she finally does notice, it's met with rolled eyes. “Of course you're into that. Absolute freaks, the both of you. You know what? Good. Take each other off the market. My job here is done.”

She hops off the stool and leaves them alone.

Eddie cautiously pokes his head up, sees Steve smiling at him and jolts up straight like a prairie dog. “You believe me?”

He wants to toy with him for a minute, a touch of revenge for the dismissal he made earlier. “What swim meet was it?” He asks, like a test.

Without missing a beat, Eddie answers, “March of ‘85. You beat some kid from West Jefferson by four seconds.”

Steve preens. Eddie isn't bullshitting, he really did beat that kid from West Jeff. Only someone who gave a shit to pay attention would know that off hand. The whiskey makes another appearance in his bloodstream, giving him the courage to lean over the counter, into Eddie's space.

“So…you like me?”

Eddie has this incredibly endearing habit of hiding behind his hair when he’s nervous, it takes Steve out at the knees every time he sees it. “I'm gonna be really pissed off if this is some convoluted prank but…yeah, man, I fucking like you. Romantically. In case that was in question.”

“Mmm,” Steve agrees. “What are our kids' names?”

Eddie closes his eyes against Steve's smug stare. “I hate Jeff so much.”

“I don't. I'll thank him at our wedding. Maybe we name one of the kids after him.”

When Eddie peeks at him, one eyed, Steve does his best to convey his amusement and fondness both.

His body goes lax, finally, at seeing Steve take all it seriously. “Okay, so I like the idea of all of them keeping their Vietnamese names, except one who we name James.”

“After Hetfield?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes. Please.”

Some time later, after making out in the pantry for a while, Steve vetoes James, but only because he doesn't want the poor kid to grow up with a complex.

“We’ll call the dog Jimmy.”

“Cool.”