#idfk its just so frustrating
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FUCK aroace erasure
#yes i am still salty about that one fandom#anyways#as an aroace person i feel realllllly annoyed at some fandoms that just actively forget some characters are aro/ace#idfk its just so frustrating#aromantic#asexual#aroace#print.calishit
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rewatching 13s era for me is not so much diminishing returns as it is something opposite and eviler...............increasing losses? increasing losses
#every time i rewatch an episode the points where it couldve been better poke me in the eye#maybe probably the exact same thing would happen with any other thing i would get this obsessed about#you stare at something long enough its flaws will become ever more apparent#you love something enough everything it could have been but IS NOT becomes ever more painful#i watched 13x5 tonight.........honestly what the fuck goes on#no these were my responses now 3 years and probably a dozen rewatches in:#1) what the fuck goes on#2) philosophically stilll utterly unintelligible to me i might be stupid#swarm and azures whole thing. like. everything they say about their Schemes is completely......incoherent. i dont understand it.am i stupid#3) feels like most agents in these plots are just doing busywork. but might be my inability to understand plot again#but like diane?? who is she what is she why is she#4) 13s message to yaz 'flux destroys universe so refugees coming take over earth your task' is.....like.....profoundly......wtf#and seemingly easily fixable: flux destroys universe refugees come to earth find a way to welcome them#get unit involved THAT way. right?#unit as the liaison between humanity and alienity. rebrand#but maybe that doesnt work with the snakeman plot idfk im stupid with plot#5) scenes between 13 and tecteun couldve been so much more. mastervoice: i have Notes. first and least: tecteun shouldve called her Child#damn now i want to do 13 era rewrite again#i really should do that one day i think it would be good for my skills#turn it into a good oldfashioned 13 ep series. still one story tho. but to deepen everything out a bit more#actually getting into all the stuff thats only sort of Touched upon#making swarm and azure not only make sense but also emotionally important and if possible even lore-wise interesting#more abt the division past. doesnt need to be shown in detail if the absence is the point. that doesnt mean there cant be more absence#swarm&azure lore + division lore + vinder&bel lore in separate pieces starting to show a horrible puzzle when put together#yaz and dan in 1900s for 3 full eps or so. time to breathe. more yaz&13 stuff. a lot more 13&yaz stuff#i think that might actually be the heart of it. maybe it should be the heart of it#leaning into that 13-tecteun parallel. the frustration and resentment. build up to the 'so why are you SO interested in him!' stuff#more of their life in the tardis just the two of them without buffer#i kinda want to play with like a lot more body language between them which the camera doesnt allow as we have it#like zoom the fuck out pls
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hi moots! im losing my mind
#technical difficulties w the vr headset so no hw2 yet#two days feels like such a long time when you spend hours and hours grappling w ur vr headset and doing Fuck All#and looking up the error codes im getting gives me Fuck All#its just very unfortunate and frustrating#i might try a link cable instead? but idk if thatll solve the issues#sigh#im tired#i already bought hw2 on steam#idfk#vent#i guess#losing my fucking mind over here can u telllll#x#x chatter
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getting so fed up about the lack of trans voices in rhetoric on an academia level while trying to find sources for a class project that i am considering changing my career goals
#i'm supposed to lead a class discussion on intersectionality in women's rhetoric#so of course i want to look at queer women! so i've got alison bechdel of course.#gonna figure out an excerpt from gender troubles by judith butler to use#debating stone butch blues by feinberg? not sure yet#but what i really want is a trans or nonbinary rhetor to examine#but i am having A LOT of trouble finding a single one!#it was fucking difficult to find a trans masc journalist for an assignment in another class but i did it#this? this feels damn near impossible! WHERE are my trans academics rhetoric academics!!!!#but yeah this is literally making me consider doing a 180 on my '5 year plan' or whatever#maybe i should get a masters in rhetoric instead of aviation management#bc like. i do always say 'be the change you wanna see in the world' bc i do enjoy the sentiment at the very least#maybe i should fuckin pony up then and listen to my own damn self#be the trans rhetor examining our space in not just academia but the rhetorical sphere for the next queer kid looking to do a presentation#idk! idk! idfk!!!!!!!!!#gahhhhhhhhhhhhh its so frustrating just. in general. to lack sources that you know SHOULD exist#but they DONT >:(#max is talking#damn those are some long ass tags
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bro idk i was already so out of wack today from having shitty dreams AGAIN where i dont even seem to care or want to stop whats happening to me and then just wake up feeling like a broken person
but then my internship boss texts me like "hey so can you make PDFs of those maps i asked you about last night?" and like it shouldnt reasonably have me so pissed off but
A. no im not fucking working you twat what do you think OUT OF COMMISSION means and
B. i cant open that program/file on my home network without it crashing and i have told you this multiple times
#like yall aint even paying me yet. relax.#if you wanted a PDF you shoulda said that initially#idfk its just frustrating bc on one hand i love office life cuz its so cushy and bullshit#but on the other hand im too fucking autistic for this shit#its like my friend was saying yesterday people expect you to read their goddamn minds#and i like my boss too!! shes decent!! but wtf#thots et al
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It's gotten harder and harder for me to even give a shit about art I iust dont want to fucking do it anymore
#not fallout#kal talks#like i dont want to quit quit but i need a break fr#its been so long since i wanted to do a project and then came out with a finished product that i felt really good about#like the kallista painting is good and i like it im just. idk#i just dont have any creative energy anymore#usually when this happens i get super frustrated and angry but im like idfk i dont even want to try ill iust sit on my phone#and watch youtube#its like im just bored with art#and i think its because i know i need to do studies and stuff and work on what makes me unhappy with it#but i iust dont want to#i definitely think part of it comes from like. doing art for a living?#because that is truly soul sucking#its exhausting#and it leaves no room for me to care about anything else in my life#fuck man i just need to schedule another therapy appointment lmao
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Man one of my friends has a habit of accidentally saying or doing stuff that hurts me and I never know what to do cuz like I dont wanna be criticizing her/telling her off every 2 days cuz I KNOW she never means any harm so I know when she says/does hurtfull stuff she doesnt mean it but like it still hurts yk ??? But anytime i do tell her i feel like an ass and the thing is it doesnt make me feel any better cuz when she apologizes i just feel bad for her. But likee also i notixe the frustration building up within myself from her repeatedly hurting my feelings. But its never super big stuff and i dont wanna make her feel bad cuz like idk man shes so. Just like, fragile I guess that anything that makes her sad or upset immediately makes me feel horrible like its the emotional equivalent of yelling at a child or.something. BUT ALSO SHE JUST KEEPS HURTING ME !!!! genuinely from the bottom of.my heart askimg wtf im supposed to do like do I just swallow it down and wait for the feeling to pass. Or what. Cuz like its never lingering serious hurt or anything but it just keeps building up but like also she never criticzes me for anything and so by comparison i DO already "criticize" her a lot I guess and like. Man idk genuinely I dont know what to do
#Ok so like for example. I was wathcing a show rn and a character died. and i had been texting my friend a bit about the show over the last#few days as i was watching it so its not like it just came completely out of the blue . and i sent like a video of the death scene and#said something expressinf sadness about it like 'NOOOO WTF' or whatever and she just didnt respond to that at all and started talking about#something else so i thought maybe she missed it so i like drew attention to it again and she was like 'i dont know that character i had#nothing to say'#BRO ????#I dont. know most of the things my friends ever talk about and i still go along.#and like she does stuff like that at least once a week and its like. idk man obviously its not a big deal but its just something that#stings yk??#and like she has a lot of idk mannerisms or habits that just make me feel dumb or like im being stupid and its so frustrating idk#and like idk cause sometimes she acts idk normally enthusiastic but randomly out of nowhere she says stuff that makes me feel like im being#stupid if that makes sense ??#or like she ALWAYS has something negative or disagreeing to say and on one hand it feels dumb to get annoyed by it but like idk??#for example one time i was watcbing a movie and texted her a pic of the lead actor and said 'his face is like the exavt opposite of mine'#like as a sort of joke cause my face is soft with idk prominent features and that guys face was sharp with well idk sharper features like#he just looked like the opposite of me yk?? and it was clearly a joke#but.like she replied like 'i dont really see it' and started in detail comparing our faces ??#and like idk cuz like it annoyed me and made me feel stupid and also she has a habit of overanalyzing her and other peooles.looks and i#fucking HATE IT#but like at the same time well if that was her organic reply am I not a dick for getting annoyed ??? but like it just annoyed me idfk#and its always stuff like that but i feek like an ass if im always tellinf her everything she does wrong (obviously i dont do that but itd#feel lime that) and being so idk overly critical but also some small part of me just has started to resent her cause ???#she keeps accidentally saying stuff that hurts me and makes me feel stupid and in school she always keeps touching me and making annoying#noises and like ???? idk what it is cause i usually really like her and we are very close but sometimes she just does stuff that#IMMEDIATELY drives me up the wall ????#but like honest to god what if im the problem. ?? like am i overreacting or like accidentally being mean??#But like . the way she communicates i dont see a point in trying to tell her that she has a habit of accidentally hurting me cuz#what would it change except make her feel bad if that makes sense ??#and also its like. like then she'd probably be less comfortable around me cuz shes worried abt hurting me . or like itd be#awkward like when you kmow someones only doing smth cuz you asked them to yk ??
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#the understaffing at my job is insane rn#to the point where im making a vent post on TUMBLR THE APP about it#im like Girl what if i just. died#the fact that im the only one working legitimately half the time is insane!!#all the other students work like. 10 hours. and then theres me#its at the point where im frustrated and angry constantly both at work and outside of work#which is not good for me or anyone else lol#and i just literally do not have time to do schoolwork so im failing like two weeks into the semester#idfk what to do about it other than threaten to quit#i dont even need the money theres no fucking reason i should be working 30 hours a week lol#😀🔫
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ngl hate it when ppl conflate robotics engineers with AI grifters. We hate them as much as y’all do lmao, they’re not doing our asses any favours.
#seriously though the whole aibro techbro nonsense is so fucking stupid#and then you get well-intentioned folks directing their rage at robotics ppl which sucks#seen it happen a few times#but like there is a HUGE difference between your average robot and the shitty AI grift#some robots use stuff that can be construed as 'AI' sure#but hilariously enough robots have existed LONG before AI#which is kinda funny when you think about it#in alot of scifi stuff I read it tends to be the other way around#where they 'invent' AI before 'inventing' robots which is#kind of hilarious#idfk where i was going with this#but like also alot of robotics ppl are also artists on the side#i know i am#yeah i know im technically still 'studying' engineering rather than having industry experience#but im aware of folks in the industry who are also engineers who do art on the side too#so i ain't special in all this#its just kind of funny and a little frustrating#again idfk where i was going with this#i think im going insane#also the AMOUNT of shitty AI art that's flooding the mecha art tag on Instagram is HORRIBLE I hate it#AI has no clue how to draw mecha#that's how you know robots and mecha are superior#true robots were made with love and passion and im getting mushy now#yeah#but anyways the stupid techbro grifters give engineers a bad name and it sucks#even though those assholes are usually silicon valley business majors pretending to know how AI works from what ive seen#its really dumb#we live in the worst timeline ngl#also for the record there's more folks in engineering who enjoy humanities than you'd think#so dont even give me THAT bullshit
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Duty
Jacaerys Velaryon x female reader smut
After a rough start to your marriage, whispers from the palace cause you and your betrothed to start what you should have done months ago; produce an heir.
w.c: 1487
c.w: SMUT 18+, NO use of Y/N, not exactly enemies but y'all beefing, hate sex (if you squint, but more like dislike sex and its more just sass idfk), mention of pregnancy, breeding kink, afab reader, p in v sex, fingering, overstimulation, pls let me know if i've missed any
a.n: so i recently watched the queen charlotte bridgerton spin off and i absolutely loved it, this is very inspired by charlotte and george's earlier dynamic tee hee.
Four months and 3 days. That is how long it has been since your wedding, and how long you have loathed your husband. The two of you were not exactly close before your betrothal on account of the rapidness of it but the tensions that spread between parts of his family did not help. You both seem to fight every conversation you had thereafter, so it became easier to avoid each other. That was until around 3 months into your betrothal that questions of when you would need your dresses altering had you worried. You were supposed to making heirs but you both exploded whilst in the same room as each other. You’d visited the prince in his separate room and communicated the issue, he was reading by the fire. You played with your fingers in your hands as he eyed the flaw, thinking intently. He placed his book face down on the table as he petted the bench beside him. You hesitated for a moment, before sitting next to him. “Once a week, we will fulfil our, uh, duty to try and produce an heir. Once you are with child we will stop.” You thought for a moment, before nodding. You couldn’t help but feel your heart sink. This was not what you had wished for in your marriage. Jacaerys was a painfully handsome man, dark curls that framed he chiselled features.
“It is the end of the week today, your grace.” You spoke, not fully considering the implications of the statement. But the quicker your belly was full the better.
He turned to you, hesitated for a moment before moving closer to you and pulled you onto his lap. You were surprised by the sudden closeness of someone, let alone your husband. He looked up from beneath you with a glimmer of what he had on your wedding night, without the naïve hope. His hands slid up from your hips to the bust of your dress, he looked into your eyes before giving the bodice of your dress a quick tug down allowing your breast to spill out. You gasped as his hands cupped over your breasts, massaging them before running a thumb over your nipple. You brought your bottom lip between your teeth as you felt a warmth spread over your body. You didn’t dare look him in the eye, keeping your eyes shut or trained on the ceiling. You felt as one hand left your breast and hike up your dress further up your hips. He sighed to himself slightly, at the sight of your exposed cunt. He could not believe his luck the first time he had saw you. You were quite possibly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and unfortunately that did not change the more you both disliked each other. If anything, it grew. Seeing you from across the room at formal engagements, gluing to his side when you needed to seem like the happy couple. It made the frustrations between the two of you even more palpable over the past few months, given the lack of relief. You opened your eyes to see his dark eyes looking up at you. He brought his two first fingers up to your lips, “Open.” His soft tone contradicted the demand and look upon his face. His fingers slid into your mouth, gliding across your tongue as you closed your lips around them. Out of sheer lust you grinded your hips against him, needing to feel some release and gaining small jolt at the feeling of your cunt rubbing against his clothed cock. His free hand shot to your waist, fingers digging into the soft flesh. He removed his fingers from your mouth, admiring his spit covered fingers for a moment before they reached between your thighs and lightly grazed across your clit. You jolted, leaning forward to grip the bench behind him.
You could not stop the moan that escaped your mouth as his fingers slowly ran circles across your clit. He smirked as the noises that fell from your lips, knowing how much you couldn’t bare to be around him but fell apart in his arms was a satisfying feeling. “I did not know you were so needy, dear wife.” The honorific felt like a pin prick. Insincere and laced with sarcasm.
Despite the tightening growing in your stomach, you could not let him have the final word as usual. “You hadn’t been paying close enough attention, your grace.” A flash of frustration flashed upon his face as his hand moved to grip your hair and fingers plunged inside of you. A gasp left you as his fingers thrusted deep inside of your cunt, you had gone from strolling towards an orgasm to being thrown at it. The tips of his fingers curled slightly, deliciously massaging that spot inside your pussy that drove you wild. You jaw fell open, eyes going wide at the loss of contact when he removed his fingers from you. You went to protest before seeing his cock in his hands, brows furrowed as he stroked the length.
You couldn’t hold off any longer before you took a hold of his wrists and pushed his hands away to his sides. You took his cock into your hand giving it a few pumps, watching an expression of lust spread across his face. You leaned over slightly, letting a ball of spit leave your lips and watch as it slid down his cock. He hissed, returning his hands to your hips pulling you closer to him. You took the hint, angling his cock towards your pussy, rubbing the tip over your clit for your own pleasure a few times, before lining him up and sliding down slowly, a large groan left his lips as be bottomed out inside of you. You had forgotten just how big his cock was, and just how good it had felt filling you up. You began to raise your hips up and down, moans leaving your lips as you did. You worked at a steady pace but after being accustomed to his hands began to push up and down with the movements of your hips moving you faster. Your fingernails dug into his shoulders as he pounded into you, no matter how much your stifled your moans, you gave him the satisfaction of them loudly leaving your lips. His hand reached up to yours, removing it from his shoulders and moving your fingers between your legs. You immediately got his instruction, fingers latching onto your clit. You worked tight circles into it as you got filled over and over with Jacaerys’ cock. A familiar tightness returned to your stomach as your head dropped back and numerous illicit words left your lips. Recognising your peak, he pulled you forward by your thighs, almost pressing your bodies against each other as he quickened his pace. Your orgasm cascaded over you, feeling your pussy tighten around Jacaerys’ cock and your body buzz from the overstimulation. You rode out your high atop of him, watching as his eyes screwed shut and his thrusts became sloppier.
You took the opportunity to return your knees to the bench either side of him and bob your hips up and down as fast as you could. His fingers reached the lip of the bench gripping it until his knuckles turned white. “Mmm, my grace,” You moaned out. His eyes shot open, his heart pounding at your remark. “Please fill me with your seed.” You pleaded and moaned, half doing it for a reaction, half because it felt too good. His jaw hung open in shock for a split second before he sputtered a moan from his lips, hips snapping into yours. You felt satisfied as a warmth filled your pussy. Your hips moved slightly, slowly thrusting his cock inside of you still. His hand shot to your hip, mumbling something, before you placed your hand flat across his chest. You bobbed a few more times on his cock, being sure to be as full as possible with his cum. You smirked to yourself seeing his head throne back, lip quivering, veins prominent in his hands gripping your waist, sweaty curls sticking to his neck. You slowly raised yourself off of his cock, standing to your feet and trying to mask your wobbliness as adjusting your dress.
You stole a glance his way, admiring his beauty before he spoke and ruined it. He panted through his mouth, arms outstretched over the sides of the bench. You smirked to yourself, admiring how he too had crumbled for you. The opening of his doorhandle caused him to call your name from behind you. You glanced at him and smiled. “Goodnight your grace, see you in seven eves’.” He opened his mouth to response, but you had already shut the door behind you. You hoped it would be sooner before he fucked you again.
#jacaerys x reader#jacaerys x you#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys velaryon smut#hotd smut#jacaerys smut#house of the dragon#hotd#hotd x reader#jacaerys velaryon x reader smut#jacaerys targaryen#prince jacaerys#hotd fanfic#jacaerys velaryon x y/n smut#jacaerys imagine#game of thrones#game of thrones smut#asoif#asoif/got#fanfic#smut#jacaerys fluff#fluff smut#hotd jacaerys#jacaerys fanfiction
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| 𐂂 | 𝐑𝐮𝐭 𝐒𝐳𝐧 | 𝐃𝐨𝐞!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐀𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫 | 𝐇𝐚𝐳𝐛𝐢𝐧 𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥 | 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓 | 𐂂 |
𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: FINALLY LMFAO. sorry for the wait i got a wee bit busy and took a break so yeah! here you go. btw i suck at smut! enjoy :]
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Your boyfriend enters his season! He's constantly in heat and stubbornly won't give in to his desires. As his season ends, you enter estrus, causing a hot sticky mess for the both of you!
𝐂𝐖: breeding kink behavior, possessive behavior, p in v sex, no protection, rough sex, idfk horny-ness 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3,617 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈!
It was no secret that your boyfriend is in his heat season. This became apparent when you were woken by the screeching sound of antlers rutting against the bark of a tree. You look around, the bluriness of the room fading as you wake up a bit more. Lifting your hands to your face, you rub your eyes and groggily turn towards the noise. Your eyes flicker to the bayou section of Alastor's room. Immediately, your previously groggy state disappears, eyes widening at the sight before you. "KRRRRRRRRK KRRRRRRRK KRRRRK KRRR-" "Alastor!" The scraping comes to a sudden halt as you speak. Alastor still had his back facing you hunched over beside the tree, antlers just barely inches away from the torn bark. Nearly every tree in the bayou was scraped bare of its bark, how long had he been doing this for..? Realization hits you like a truck, "Ooohhhh you're in-" "Not a word. I can control it", The Deer demon curtly states, "Go back to bed." You knew he didn't mean to be dismissive, but that didn't prevent the pang of sadness that tugged your lips downward. "Aren't you gonna come back to bed?" Alastor sighs and turns to face you, his hungry eyes boaring into yours. "Go back to bed, I'll join you later.".
Without a word, you lay back down and sigh, trying to go back to sleep without the embrace of your partner. Alastor’s expression softens, he needed some time to work through his season, he never meant to distance himself in the process.
“Goodnight, darling. I love you.”.
A smile spreads across your face, those three little words were all you needed, “I love you too, sweet dreams.”
—
Despite what the demon said, he was anything but in control of it. Alastor desperately tried to remain celibate the next few weeks of his heat season. Which, confused you because it’s not like you hadn’t had sex before or anything. And while it happens sporadically, this seemed like a good occasion to do it. All he’d have to do to get rid of his pestering urges is to fuck you, yet he remained stubborn. What’s holding him back?
When you asked him, he rambled about something along the lines of wanting his desires to be on “his terms”. In other words, he just wanted control. You rolled your eyes at this. All this trouble because of reluctance to give in to an easy-to-fix solution? ‘Whatever, it’s just a few more weeks of this…’ you thought to yourself. He hated how much he needed release, how much he craved and yearned for it. Alastor needed to be the one to decide when and where he’d want to have sex. However, with his current irresistible urges, he needed sex everywhere, all the time. As a result of this, Alastor decided it would be best if he slept in a different room for the time being. Which, again, didn't make any sense. Why couldn't he just fuck you and get it done with? But, nooo he had to be in control 24/7, leaving you lonely in the large desolate bed. You never complained, of course, despite how much you wanted to. It was frustrating sure, but, you know what it's like to be in your season so you kept your mouth shut. It had put some strain on your relationship, however, you knew it would only make things worse if you argued with him. He's tense enough already. Besides, it's only a few months out of the year! You can argue for the rest of eternity after said period. --
As time passed, the deer’s strained behavior only worsened. His animalistic instincts were kicking in and intensified. Let’s be honest, Alastor’s hygiene wasn’t the greatest (especially when it comes to dental hygiene). But, it got exponentially worse when he started smearing mud on himself to 'enhance his scent'. You knew it was all typical heat season behavior, but still, gross.
Possessiveness was another unfortunate symptom of the season. If Alastor saw another male just simply looking at you, he’d take it as a challenge. Large black tentacles would stretch out and slam whoever you were with into the nearest wall. And while, yes, it was nice to have a protective boyfriend, it certainly wasn't nice to have a daily hospital visit and apology card to whoever Alastor felt threatened by. Luckily, the season was almost over! No more hiding from Alastor when talking to another guy and having a smelly boyfriend! Yay! Everything seemed to be clearing up on its own... that was until you entered estrus.
—
“No no… Nonono…”. You mutter as you pace around the room. Just as the season was about over, you just had to enter estrus. Great. Now, not only did Alastor have to suppress his urges, you did too. Not because you wanted to, but because you didn’t want to tempt Alastor anymore than he already was.
Facing a large full body mirror, you try to to cover up any possible signs that your in your season. Your tail lays flat against your backside, and while that wasn’t the most obvious trait, you knew Alastor would figure you out easily. Pheromones were being released in heavy doses, a scent that could attract a buck from miles away. Luckily for you, Alastor’s taking a visit to the doomsday district to “Blow off some steam.” Phew.
Frantically rummaging through the closet, you look for something, anything that could hide this for him. You didn’t really have anything large enough to hide your tail, and if you did, the imprint of your tail would stick out of the fabric from the back and make it obvious. Crap.
A spare of Alastor’s coat hangs teasingly against on the other side of your shared closet. Temptation sweeps over you, making you realize just how horny you were. Hesitant hands reach out to grab the soft fabric and lift it up to your nose. ‘Fuck… Am I a pervert? Oh well.’ you think to yourself as you inhale Alastor’s scent through the fabric. Bourbon and vanilla scent hits your nose, sending shivers down your spine.
Suddenly, an idea pops into your head. You slip your arms into the coat and walk towards the mirror. The coat perfectly hid your tail and Alastor’s lingering musk on the fabric masked the scent of your pheromones. For once in your life, being kind of a pervert paid off! __
Currently, you’re sitting at the bar nursing a drink, trying to ignore how badly you want to be fucked so hard your organs rearrange. As far as hiding your physical symptoms went, it was pretty easy. But the internal turmoil was eating you alive, and not in a sexy way. Every position, sound, scenario, and feeling was being conjured in your mind as you sit there “calmly” on the barstool. Your mind was so preoccupied that you didn’t notice Alastor approaching you.
“You know darling, if you liked my clothes so much you could’ve just said so.” The deer jests.
The sudden noise startles you, snapping you out of your thoughts. “AH!” you practically jump out of your seat before realizing it’s just Alastor, “Oh! Hello love. How was the doomsday district?” His shoulders bob up and down, a soft grin on his lips, "It was fine. Very effective. Perhaps I'll be able to join you in bed tonight.". Fuck. If he slept in your room tonight, the coat will have to come off and all will be revealed. "O-Oh! Are you sure? I don't wanna pressure y-" "Nonsense, dear!" The deer interrupted with a smile, "I've had quite enough time away. I'm sure I'll be fine for a night!" "Yes, but, honey... What if your instincts take over?". You hesitantly try to put the thought of not sleeping together in his head. Alastor waves a dismissive hand, "Nonsense, dear! I'll be alright." "Honey, I don't think this is a good idea-" You stated firmly. His smile strains as his eyebrows furrow, "Why? Is there something you're hiding from me?". "No I-" "Have you grown accustomed to sleeping without me?" he accused. "No, no... Al," you reluctantly begin, "I'd love to sleep beside you again... I just wanted to be sure you were okay with it.". Lies. Well, partly. You did want to cuddle with your partner just... not with the current 'circumstances'. But now you had no choice but to find some way to hide your growing urges and instincts. -- The door shuts behind you as you walk into your room. You feel your heartbeat pick up as your palms start to moisten. 'Deep breaths, Y/N," you think to yourself, 'he won't find out... Just stay calm and act normal.'
The two of you get ready for bed: brushing your teeth (well, you are at least), washing your face, and are currently putting on PJs. You changed in the closet, away from Alastor, which he thankfully paid no mind to. After putting on a lacy nightgown, you hastily throw the coat back over your shoulders. In hindsight, this was definitely a dead giveaway that you were hiding something. But, what choice did you have? Putting on a tranquil facade, you enter the bedroom. Alastor's sitting at the edge of the bed when you walk in, finishing buttoning up his nightshirt. 'Damn, even in pajamas he's still hot as fuck' you think. You ogle at your boyfriend for a moment, heat rising in your chest. "Ah ah, dear, don't look at me like that" He playfully reminds you. His words snap you back into reality, you smile softly at him. "Sorry, sorry!" you stammer. Walking to your side of the bed, you stare directly at the floor as to not get distracted by your growing arousal. 'Keep it together Y/N!'. Alastor's eyebrows furrow, "Darling?". "Yes?" you respond. A sharp red claw gestures to the coat, "Why are you still wearing that?". "Oh!" beads of sweat form on your forehead as you clammer to find some sort of excuse "I justtttt.... get a little chilly at night! Yep, just a case of uh cold-ness... yeah...". 'God damn it... Am I fucking stupid? "Cold-ness" isn't even a word!' you mentally berate yourself. Your boyfriend turns to fully face you on the bed, "And why does it have to be my coat, hm? Can't you use one of yours?". Fidgeting with your hands nervously, you reply, "Well I just like yours! It's nice, it reminds me of you.". "Pray tell, my dear," he begins, "Why must you be reminded of me when I'm right beside you in bed?". You take a deep breath, "Well, in your... 'condition'-". "Watch it, Darling," he warns. "Right right," you sit up straighter as you become more confident in your convoluted excuse, "I just figured you wouldn't be able to handle cuddling me. In fact, you’ll probably just stay on your side of the bed all night. Hence why I wanted the coat". You feel a little prideful at your on-the-spot reasoning… until you see your boyfriend’s expression. Yeahhh, he looked pissed. Alastor's wide grin twitches, "Excuse you, Darling! I am perfectly capable of controlling myself for one night!”. “Well, then why didn’t you sleep in here for a month?!” you retort, immediately regretting it. You weren’t actually mad, just defensive. Oh well, no going back now. "That's it!" He reaches for the sleeve of your coat, pulling on it roughly. "Hey!" you exclaim. Trying (and failing) to yank the sleeve back, the coat flings off your shoulders and into Alastor's tight grip. He discards it on the floor beside the bed. Luckily, he wasn't in a position to notice your tail, however, that didn't affect your boyfriend's sense of smell... Holding his nose high in the air, he takes small quick sniffs near you, his ears twitching at the smell of your pheromones. His pupils dilate to the size of quarters, any restraint he had before was now completely gone, "My dear," He crawls toward you on all fours, making his way across the bed, "I've spent the past few months aching for release, but I've restrained myself...". You inch backward away from him, "Alastor... Be rational... You've tried so hard, I don't want you to regret this.". As soon as you finish speaking, you inch too far off the bed and suddenly fall back, eliciting a yelp. A slender arm reaches out to grab yours, lifting you up and saving you from the fall. Alastor pulls on your arm, lifting you up so that your faces were inches apart. He takes a deep breath in, the scent of pheromones filling his nose. His eyes bore into you with a hungry, desperate, gaze, lips slightly parted as his breath grows heavier. “My dear… I would never regret making love to you… If I did have any regrets, it would be that I didn’t do this sooner…”.
Half lidded eyes meet his lustful gaze, “Your sure about this?”. Alastor’s eyes linger on your lips as he speaks, his voice low and raspy, “I’ve restrained myself for far too long… I would hate to you holding back as well. This has been a long time coming, darling, and now…”. Reaching over, his lips teasingly brush against your ear as he whispers,”I’m taking whats mine.”.
You cradle his face in your hands, thumb brushing over his flushed cheeks. Suddenly, he captures your lips in a firm kiss. The tender kisses turn sloppier, his tongue swiping past your lips asking for entry. As soon as your lips part, his long slender tongue slides against yours. You moan against his lips at the feeling which only fuels his desire more. Intertwining your tongue with his, his hand cards through your hair at the back of your head, pulling you closer. The kiss deepens, drawing out a stifled moan from Alastor. You position yourself so you’re straddling his lap, his boner poking against your thigh.
As the two of you make out, you slowly roll your clothed core against the tent in his pants. Alastor pulls back from the kiss, his head jerking down into the crook of your neck. “Darling,” his large hands grip your hips, keeping them from moving, "I have a better idea...". He lifts his head back up and instantly closes the distance between the two of you. Your tongues intertwine and sloppily kiss one another, your lips lubricated with his saliva.
He moves his hands to the straps of your nightgown. The thin silky straps gently pull off your shoulders. Alastor places his palm under your elbow and pushes up gently, a silent way of asking you to put your arms up. You oblige and lift your arms followed by Alastor briefly breaking the kiss and slipping the nightgown over your head. His eyes rake over your almost naked body. One of his large hands reaches out to cup your breast. The sudden contact sends a shiver down your spine. His thumb brushes over your nipple, the bud hardening at his cold touch. Meanwhile, his other hand travels down your body and hooks his finger under the lacy thong. Stretching the lace strap, a soft hum escapes his lips. Your breath quickens as you eagerly await his next move, needing his touch and release.
Unhooking his finger, he moves his hand to the damp spot on the underside of your thong. A breathy moan escapes your lips, "Fuck, Alastor... Don't tease.". Removing his hands, he holds them up in a gesture of surrender, "Can't handle a bit of foreplay, darling?". "Hush" you reply, your hands working to unbutton his nightshirt. Once unbuttoned, you toss the shirt off to the side and gaze at his toned torso. "See something you like?" he jests. You playfully roll your eyes and get to work on sliding off his pajama pants. Once his pants are off, his aching member frees the confines of the fabric, his tail twitching in anticipation. Alastor shudders at the cold air hitting his throbbing, erect cock. Your gaze tears away from his dick and meets his face. His eyes are half-lidded with a deep shade of pink dusting his cheeks, mouth slightly agape as he pants heavily. "What? Can't handle a bit of foreplay?" you tease.
Alastor's eyebrows furrow, a tight-lipped grin forming on his face, "You know what? No, I can't.". In a swift motion, he grabs you by the waist and tosses you on the bed. As your stomach hits the cold dark red comforter, you make a small "oof!" sound. Alastor's hands slither to both sides of your waist and lift you gently, propping you up on your hands and knees. A slender finger slides against the drenched folds of your pussy, a single digit dipping into your tight center. You let out a soft pleasured gasp at the feeling. As much as you enjoyed this, it only made you crave more. He tantalizingly pulls out his finger and brings it to his lips, sucking your juices off it. Pulling the finger out with a satisfying 'pop', he leans over your body. His chest presses against your back as he whispers in a husky low tone, "My my, little doe... You taste divine.". A needy whimper escapes your throat as your dripping cunt aches to be filled.
He kisses his way down your back, leaving a final kiss at the base of your perked-up tail before lifting his head back up. Alastor gently spreads the beads of pre-cum around his dick for extra lubrication, not that you needed, it of course. Large hands clutch the sides of your hips, claws dimpling your supple skin. Pre-cum and saliva from his hands spreads onto your skin, the moist texture making your stomach flutter. -- Alastor aligns his shaft with your opening, gradually penetrating you. A choked gasp leaves your mouth as he stretches you out, filling your needy cunt. After a bit of getting used to his length, he slowly thrusts into you. "That's it, little doe," he coos, "taking me so well... You'll look great as a mother".
Alastor pants heavily as he continues to rut into you, his pace picking up as he reaches closer and closer to a climax. Sparks of pleasure hit your core and he enters you at a rough tempo. "Mmph~ Al... That's it- D-Don't stop." you whimper. "Stop?" he begins, sliding into you at a more rigorous pace, "Wouldn't dream of it... After all, I couldn't leave my precious doe without filling her properly couldn't I?". Pleasure clouds your mind, all you can respond with is a cry of satisfaction. "Ah ah ah, use your words dear. Tell me how much you crave my seed.". "Need you to fill me... Need it so bad... Please..." you mumble, focused more on your approaching climax. Your words encourage Alastor further, thrusting into you deeper and hitting spots you didn't even know could be reached. His pelvis slams against your clit, sending sparks through your already trembling pussy. He speaks through strangled grunts and pants, "That's right, my doe, I'm gonna fill you over and over until you're filled with my fawns...". His large hands travel from your hips up to your chest, cupping your breasts in his hands. Mewling at the added pleasure, his thumb and index finger rolled the sensitive buds in his hands. "These would look so nice and pretty when they're swelled with milk, don't you think?". His dick slams into you at a ruthless pace. The sounds of skin slapping against skin along with moans and grunts of pleasure filled the air. Alastor takes a deep breath in, inhaling the scent of pheromones. His pupils widened further, his primal instincts kicking in. Releasing your tender breasts, he lifts your thigh up over his shoulder to get a new angle. His cock drills into you at a ruthless tempo, "Gotta - Nnnph~ make sure my seed's deep inside you... Gonna- load my fawns into you...". You feel your stomach tighten as you reach your release, "Al- M'gonna-". As your orgasm washes over you, hot loads of cum fill your greedy pussy. Your cunt clenches around his drenched cock as he rides out your orgasm. His pace gradually declines as the pleasure begins to fade. Alastors upper body goes limp from his climax, torso resting against your back. The two of you take a moment to catch your breath, panting heavily as he remains buried inside of you. After taking a beat, he pulls out of you. Cum spills of your cunt, loads of semen dripping down your folds and onto the bedding below. "You've made quite the mess my dear." he jests breathlessly, plunging a finger into your pussy to keep the seed from spilling, "Though, we can't let this go to waste, hm? I wasn't joking when I said you'd make a lovely mother.". You chuckle wearily and plop onto the mattress.
Rolling over onto your back, Alastor grabs the discarded clothes and helps you put your pajamas back on. He slips the silk gown back on you and presses a kiss to your forehead, "You did so well, my beautiful doe...". A smile stretches across your face at the praise. Returning the favor, you help him dress as well - buttoning up his night shirt and sliding his pants back on.
His arms wrap around your stomach as he pulls you into a loving embrace. Alastor bundles the two of you in the dark red comforter, spooning you and nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. "I love you, Alastor" you whisper. "I love you too, darling. Sweet dreams.". With a final kiss pressed onto your cheek, you both drift off to a pleasant slumber.
—
YAYAYAYYA i tried rlly hard so if u dont like it then FUCK U (jk). but yeah i hope u like ittt. pls leave feedback guys :,) good or bad idfc but i rlly wanna improve and feedback is important for that!!! i hope u liked it :) i meant for the smut to be longer tbh, sorry if it wasnt as long as u were hoping. im still new at this so I tried to keep it short and sweet. I felt as if i kept it too long the quality would decline and that sucks so :/ hope u liked ittt!!!!! also i didnt edit this bc im tired lol but if u see a mistake point it out
𝐁𝐔𝐓: 𝐅𝐔𝐍 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓, 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐑𝐔𝐓, 𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐎…. 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐄 ��𝐏 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍??? 𝐋𝐌𝐊
__
𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @l3rittany, @sirens-and-moonflowers, @ratsematary, @reath-solia, (if i missed anyone I'm so sorry)
#hazbin hotel#hazbin#hazbin x reader#hazbin fanfic#hazbin smut#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel smut#alastor fanfiction#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#reader x alastor#alastor x reader#alastor smut#hazbin alastor x reader#alastor x reader smut#reader x alastor smut#alastor rut smut#alastor rut#doe!reader x alastor#rut szn#RUT SZN
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idfk but maybe its cause the twitter qsmp people are newer to fandom? (or not i dont know these people at all) but they know they can engage with media critically and not pretend like characters they love arent from that same media right? right?? they can believe the qsmp is flawed while also still enjoying the content of the characters and rp and whatever. that can co exist. they know that right? like this isnt a new concept and in fact exists in basically every fucking fandom. i understand their frustration but pretending and trying to erase the fact these characters are from the qsmp is so fucking stupid because they just are
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The reason why i dont think its a tour is the way they did the ‘sign to be first one to know when it drops’ thing because if i signed to something to be know right when it drops just to find out they are not coming anywhere near me i would be so fucking pissed and frustrated! Thats why i think its going to be either a digital project or something physically you can buy. (English isnt my first language sorry if doesnt make sense)
yeah i totally get that!! i mean other artists do drop tours like this (with a teaser and a "sign up to be the first to know" type of thing), so it's not unheard of. but it is something that hopefully d&p would be aware of! bc definitely it would suck a lot. what also makes me think it's something digital u can buy is phil saying "something might happen in the next month" when asked what he and dan have been cooking. like to me that implies whatever the proj is will be happening within the month, it's a weird way to phrase it if it's only an announcement of something happening in many months (unless he was trying to throw us off but then? idfk. and again the fact that he ignored the part about saving up makes me think it's low cost but also what do i know 😭)
also your english is great! and no need to apologize, even if it wasnt :) <3
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VHS
Quackity/Reader||NSFW||TWs+Fic under cut
Read on AO3
Haiii everynyan
Drugged sex
Noncon/Dubcon if you squint
Choking
Sadism(?)
Quackity being all fucked up man idfk
Alexis always seemed to be the quiet type.
He didn’t really have friends, kept to himself huddled away in his own corner of the class you shared together, in the cafeteria he sat alone usually; always with his face buried in that green notebook. But frankly? You never really paid it any attention, in fact it took you three months into the year to even notice he existed.
It was a warm afternoon, your English teacher had announced a group project, and assigned everyone a random partner. You had the misfortune to be paired with Alexis. It took you a moment to grasp what he said, you scan the room endlessly, having no recollection of someone with that name in here. Until you notice him walking up to you that is.
He’s silent, doesn’t say a word as he settles across from you. Stringy strands of hair lay on his forehead, pressed down into his skin by a dark blue beanie. You seem to have a vague memory of the teacher getting angry for a while about the hat, but eventually just giving up. The hoodie he wears looks old, the once colorful design on the front mostly faded and worn, like the odd look he has in his eyes. Alexis is a strange guy; at least that’s your initial impression.
You look at him expectantly, waiting for an introduction, a hello, something. But he just sits there, fiddling with his pen and staring at the desk. It’s at this moment you realize he is going to be the most annoying person to work with. As the rest of your classmates chat, you and Alexis sit in silence for a little bit. Until eventually you decide you’ve waited for long enough and say hello, and introduce yourself.
He stares at you, still silent, and then nods. He goes back to fiddling with his pen. You groan; and silently wonder how you’ll ever get any work done this way, he’s so unwilling to participate it’s already getting on your nerves and you’ve known the guy for maybe ten minutes. No wonder he doesn’t seem to have any friends. If you weren’t being forced to, you wouldn’t have spent what little time you had with him.
But that was two months ago. Now, you’re sat on the sofa in Alexis’ basement and watching some old vhs tape the two of you had found in a box an hour or so prior. You aren’t really paying attention to it though, your mind is more focused on the soft buzz strumming through your bones, it seems to be emanating a tune. Alexis has it too, a soft buzz that seems to radiate from his body. His eyes are transfixed on the screen ahead of him, the tv is buzzing. No, wait, that’s you. Or is it Alexis? They all seem to merge in your crippled mind, the awful edges of where he ends and you start glow softly. Does it though?
Do they really glow? Or are you just struggling to keep your eyes focused? What had he given you… the name escapes your memory. He’d told you it would help take the edge off, you’d been stressed from some important test, you can’t even remember what class it was for now. The little tab he placed on your tongue certainly did its job. You’re smooth sailing across a sea of fluffy, musty couch cushions.
“Hey, you good?” He asks, it seems so distant though you hardly notice, then he snaps in your face a few times and that brings you back momentarily. “You alright, man?” You blink at him, he doesn’t look concerned. He looks… happy. Satisfied? Some unreadable expression seems to grow in intensity as you slowly nod at him. Your eyes squint as he shifts, and pulls his arm around your shoulder. He's tried this before and you’ve always brushed him away; and you certainly make an attempt to do so now, but your arms don’t seem strong enough.
“Stop…” you grumble out at Alexis, he grins at the tone of your voice which doesn’t seem to make any sense because you’re trying to sound frustrated. It’s to no avail though, he doesn’t care and gently pats your head with his other hand. You close your eyes and soak in the feeling. Why were you trying to sound mad? Doesn’t matter, not while two fingers slip underneath your chin and pull you towards his face.
‘Alexis smells like cigarettes’ you think for a moment, before the thought is replaced with ‘Alexis tastes like cigarettes’ as he kisses you, soft and sweet. You’re not really sure what you expected from his kisses, but it wasn’t soft and sweet. He wasn’t soft and sweet in the slightest.
His tongue slips into your slightly ajar mouth, and runs across your teeth of all things. It seems odd before you remember his affinity for teeth, the small jar he had by his bed is full of them. That doesn’t feel important now though, especially because he’s sliding his hand up your shirt. Alexis’ fingers roam across your skin, and between kisses you hear him talk about how soft it is, how soft you are and how well you’re doing. None of it registers, the only thought on your mind is getting him off of you, but it feels like the harder your hands push against his chest, the further you sink into the sofa.
He pushes you down, down into the cushions and into your untimely demise. “You don’t have a clue,” he starts, finally pulling away from your mouth, a thin string of spit connecting your lips. “How badly I need this… just relax, okay?” His voice is barely above a whisper, like he’s scared the walls of the basement are gonna soak up his words and repeat them to someone. Like they’ll tell someone what he’s done. God knows you won’t.
You don’t even reply, words don’t even form. He doesn’t care to listen anyways, doesn’t care about how you’d behave if you were sober right now. Not that he’s sober himself… maybe that’s why he’s doing this. Or maybe you were just too stupid to realize this was his plan all along. A shiver runs down the back of your neck as he squeezes your breasts, too rough to feel genuinely pleasurable. Not that any of this is really pleasurable.
His mouth moves down your body slowly, dodging your crumpled up shirt that’s currently bunched above your tits, and sucks a dark purple mark into the skin of sternum. He does it again, and again, and again until he grows bored, leaving you decorated in bruises of various sizes. You groan when he finally pulls back, relieved to have that over with. However the relief is short lived as he sucks a nipple into his mouth, and swirls his tongue around it languidly.
You can’t hold in the whimper that escapes your throat as much as you try. With your back arching off the sofa you push your chest into his face even further, he groans and vibrations send chills down your spine. “Alexis…” you’re not sure why his name leaves your mouth, but it does and it only seems to egg him on. He sucks a bit harder, and bites gently on the delicate flesh, which you don’t quite understand as he’s already left you covered in hickies.
“So cute… fuck you’re so cute.”
“So sweet.”
“So pretty for me.”
“So good for me”
The words don’t process and all you hear is a jumble of noises, shuffling clothes and a sudden rush of cold air hitting your lower body. Then… something. Something unfathomably warm runs across your cunt. Your eyes open again, and you gaze down at Alexis. He’s on his knees between your thighs, rubbing the pre-cum slicked tip of his dick across your lips. He’s muttering something to himself, or maybe to you. It reminds you of some prayer, but you can’t quite place it.
“I’m so sorry, you —- understand —— you have —-“ You blink at him, and rub your eyes, confused as words seem to slip out of the bounds of reality. He looks desperate, it’s the only word you can conjure to describe his expression. Desperately stroking himself, desperately praying, desperately sucking in gasps of air between moans. For a second you feel bad for him. For a second.
Then he begins to push his cock in you, one hand holding your hips in place and the other guiding the length into you. He hisses out pleas of mercy to whatever God he may believe in, and possibly to you as well. In that moment, every ounce of sympathy you’d ever felt for him vanishes, and you’re suddenly looking at a shell of a person.
“God, oh my God you’re so tight-“ Alexis moans, and pushes himself deeper into you, until he’s fully engulfed by your aching walls. He sighs, as if the hard part is over. The only thing you can conjure up are whimpers, it’s been easy to ignore the pain, but now he’s just staring you down, eyes flickering between your own and his cock buried inside you. The ache between your legs grows steadily, your pussy contracts around him and his dick twitches and you feel fucking ill.
It only gets worse, the hard part is over but only for him, and he knows it. Alexis pulls out slowly, and then rocks his hips forward, testing the waters. Clearly, the waters are treating him well. Some sound hardly recognizable as his voice leaves his throat, leaving Alexis flushed and embarrassed looking. It doesn’t stop him though, his hips continue pumping into you, finding a steady and slow rhythm, igniting every nerve in his body for the better, and every nerve in yours for the worse.
A quiet slap of skin fills the room, mostly covered by that hum in your brain. What isn’t at all covered are Alexis’ groans, his whimpers and heavy breathing. You can’t decide what sound is worse and more disturbing. “You feel even better than I thought you would, fuck, this was worth it.” Your stomach ties itself in knots. You whimper, and grab onto his sofa as tightly as you can, in a desperate attempt to ground yourself.
“Take… it out.” You finally manage. Alexis doesn’t stop. In fact, that only seems to make the problem worse. He lets out a low moan and squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, and begins to fuck into you faster. His grasp on your hips tighten, holding you as still as he can, and pulling you back onto his cock as he thrusts in. “Yes- fuck yes. Beg for me, baby.” He gasps, and his eyes connect with yours again. You hope for a second you’d see something. Some regret, something bad. But all you see is joy, a sick man taking all he can from you.
Finally, you snap; and tears begin to roll down your flushed cheeks. Again, it only seems to excite him further, your pain and misery make him twitch and ache inside you. “Getting me so close, you’re doing so good for me..” your eyes shut again. You try your hardest to pretend this isn’t happening, that you’re somewhere else. But the rough slap on Alexis’ hips against yours makes it difficult.
You feel his hold on you tighten for a moment, before one hand leaves your hip, and grasps at your throat; and you wonder if this is it. If this is how you die. With Alexis’ throbbing dick slamming in and out of you, tears caked on your face. Your hands move without thought, and they try their hardest to pull his hand away, loosen his fingers, something, anything, so you can breathe.
To no avail. His grip only gets tighter, and the air in your lungs slowly depletes. Your vision becomes hazy, and his gasps and moans seem distant. Until suddenly, his hand loosens and you can breathe, but at what cost? His hips stutter, and what were once rough and steady thrusts have become quick and sloppy. You feel a warmth unlike something you’ve felt before dribble into your body.
Alexis was always the quiet type. He never really had friends and frankly, you wish it had stayed that way.
#wowiw haiii#been a sec#heres a post#poppytwt#💐blr#💐twt#poppyblr#quackity x reader#dddne#dead dove do not eat#dead dove fic
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⎯⎯ ୨ Pet names (HCs) ୧ ⎯⎯
ੈ♡˳ Il Dottore x Gn!Reader *ೃ༄
ੈ♡˳ Masterlist *ೃ༄
author's note ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
this is a just a random thought while i was brain rotting to a mutual... yes. more soft dottore (with a hint of feral)... also the warnings are back! whew! this feels MUCH better! its so biazzare to have a fic of him w/o them! anyways, have a good day/night! also one of the scenes has a connection to a request im working on LMAO,, so tired,, had to finish this b4 i fell asleep UDJKS
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ cw: canon typical violence, blood, mentions of experimentation, injuries, implied murder, BASIC DOTTORE WARNINGS, reader is equally crazy as dottore, longer than i anticipated, hurt/comfort at one part (breakdown??), kinda suggestive at one part??? idfk, don't take this lightly-the first bullet's scenario's part is different from the fics ive written before; k1dnapping (NOT THE READER)... just skip the first bullet's scenario if you're uncomfy
For some odd reason, you've kept a small list of Dottore's pet names for you. It was part of your silly antics that never ceased even if you've gotten together with a man known for his violent tendencies when irritated by someone. Of course, you were the unspoken exception, but keeping a list of such things? Well, you wouldn't be so sure if Dottore would be very fond of the thought since he'd always retaliate and pretend as if nothing had happened whenever you pointed out his acts of love for you. It was for fun! It was personal; something that will never see the light of day, and your lover's eyes.
Each pet name had a comment. Whether it was how you felt when he first used it or a rating, it was all scribbled down on the old piece of paper. You've begun listing ever since you got into a romantic relationship during your Akademiya days. Hence, the paper was wrinkled and quite frail, but you kept it in a rather acceptable condition. It doesn't have much, but the memory each held was something unforgettable; something to be forever cherished by you, it showed sides of Dottore that only you get to see and have the grace to experience. It was extremely meaningful to you, especially when the man you've got wrapped around your fingers is Il Dottore, the second harbinger of the Fatui.
It's not like you'll eventually forget these memories you've reverized as precious, it was simply a reminder. Like a photo album! They were too good to be kept inside your head, so you put them on display for your eyes only.
Love/Lovely - Woah! He actually called me that! Too bad the situation wasn't romantic at all. But it was nice for him to address me by that... given that we've been dating for over a year now. A 10/10 pet name ♡
'I want to kill him.'
Those words rang inside Zandik's head, your voice endlessly echoing at the back of his mind whilst he attempted to focus writing on a scroll regarding his latest research. Yet his hands trembled the harder he forced his hand to still until the pen he was writing with eventually broke in his grasp, crushed in his fist as ink exploded all over his gloved hand and scripture. Though he had made a mess, it was the least of his concerns. Someone had the nerve to upset you for so long. He knew you weren't very outspoken, so when you hated someone, you shove that contempt down your throat and swallow it down when it surfaces back up.
But Zandik was different. He can and will deal with people that have enough courage to waste his precious time with their worthless blabbering or get in his way. Dealing with your problems is similar to how he would deal with his. For you are his lover, the only person, across the sea of people, through the stars and the land of Teyvat, he could truly give a damn about. Your enemies are his enemies too. Seeing you gnash your teeth in frustration, your forehead creasing unpleasantly from furrowing your brows, and your eyes brimming with glistening tears that threatened to fall; something inside of him twisted it. It was as if his insides, his heart, were being stretched and squeezed all at the same time. If he felt that way, a wretched feeling that made bile rise up his throat, just by seeing you express your distress to him, he could barely imagine how you felt. Yeah, he couldn't imagine. So he took matters into his own hands.
"Does the sight please you, love?" Zandik purred into your ear, his hands resting upon your shoulders as he situated himself behind you, his chest against your back. You shuddered at his warm breath fanning over your cold skin, goosebumps forming on your forearms as you both marveled and dreaded what he had beheld for you.
It was your professor, the one that had been harassing you for over the months you've started taking his classes. The one you hated so much that you wished death upon him. And now he was in front of you, blindfolded, strapped on an operating table, trying to squirm free and making muffled, pleading noises against the gag he bit on. Just by Zandik's tone of voice, you could tell that he had a dark smirk gracing his lips as his scarred hands slowly slid down from your shoulders to your elbows. You couldn't stop the twitch of your lips as your heartbeat quickened. "How rash of you, the Akademiya will look for him and the fault will be pinned on you." Your eyes narrowed at him as the two of you took synchronized steps toward your professor's trembling body.
"You dare deny the exhilaration pumping through your veins at this moment all because of the mere thought of suspicion?" Zandik's lips attached themselves to the reddening skin of your neck, his sharp teeth grazing lightly. "I'm rather endeared at your thoughtfulness, but I could care less if the Akademiya were to expel me. Plus, this is for science! Don't you just love exploring more of human anatomy?" His words were coated with a thick layer of honey, sweetly rolling off his tongue while his hands slid down further until they reached your hands. Something metallic was slipped into your hand and wrapped your fingers around it tenderly, and you let out an airy laugh when you realized it was your scalpel.
Finally, you let a grin break through your blank face, and the grip of your hand on the scalpel tightened when Zandik joyously pressed another kiss on your cheek, sharing your excitement. "What am I going to do with you?" You teased, pressing your back more against his warm chest as his arms slowly snaked around your waist. "I feel so adored."
"Good," Zandik grinned and nodded at that, evidently pleased with himself. With one last fond look at your equally crazed expression, eyeing the strapped professor as if it was prey that you were about to devour. Zandik felt the hairs on his nape stand and his cheeks buzz. "Now, shall we get started with our new experiment, lovely?"
Dear/Dearest - Actually really sweet. It caught me off guard, especially because he first called me dear/dearest when it was one of his rare moments of vulnerability. Another 10/10 pet name ♡
Papers were strewn all across the floor. Shattered glass, many miscellaneous substances, broken mirrors, droplets of blood, chips of wood from destroyed shelves, tables, and a familiar mask now broken, joined the huge mess that is his personal office. It had always been a mess inside his office, but it was organized. It held a system that only Dottore knew how to maneuver around, it was his own personal space after all. But what you are witnessing at the moment was utter chaos. His white coat, forgotten on the floor, was slowly dissolving from one of the many vials he had thrown onto the ground.
His hands continuously dripped a copious amount of blood, his hair now a big mess from the tugging and pulling, and his shoulders rose and fell. You could hear his breathing; it was frantic, short, and shaky. It was as if he was trying to catch his breath after running a marathon. But Dottore can't get tired anymore, he was way past that point, yet here he was, panting like a crazed dog deprived of water.
And while he wreaked havoc inside his personal office, screaming profanities to no one in particular, hurting himself by punching a mirror and breaking multiple objects, you stood at his doorway. With a medicine kit prepared in your arms, you watched motionlessly as Dottore continued to vent out whatever he was feeling by destroying anything in his sight. Every time his blood splattered close to your feet as he shouted until his throat began to hurt, you would harden your expression, the grip you had on the door frame forming cracks, almost breaking it. As much you wanted to help Dottore, to calm him down, to kiss away those foul, dark thoughts haunting his mind, you couldn't. You tried once, and he almost broke you as well.
So you waited. You waited and waited until he was tired. Until he's exhausted himself. At the first signs of his knees buckling, you immediately rushed inside his room to catch him, not letting him fall to the ground and further injure himself. Laying his head onto your lap as comfortably as you possibly could, you began examining and cleaning his bloodied hands, taking out the shards of glass that sank in his flesh. His hazy, bright red eyes, staring up at the ceiling, slowly cleared when his gaze fell onto your focused face. Too preoccupied to notice his eyes on you, you dabbed alcohol onto his wounds and applied bandages to the wounds he accumulated. It was only when you took a glance at Dottore's face that you noticed his burning stare, but it didn't phase you one bit.
Bringing his hands close to your face, you pressed each band-aid in a soft kiss, all filled with love as it trailed all the way down to his wrists, lingering at the spot where you could feel his pulse. The Doctor was still human after all, and while you have no idea what goes through his head or the sorts of demons he fights against, he wasn't alone. You were there to give him comfort after each battle he's fought, to bring him a sense of victory no matter how battered he was afterward, to kiss away every last bit of his anger, frustration, and madness that made him who he was today, reduced to a man you had known as Zandik. And Dottore knows this, deep inside his heart that was once dead, now beating solely for you.
It was quiet. Below a whisper. Hoarse. A rasp of his voice that he had abused from all his screaming and shouting. It was something you weren't meant to hear. But you did. Loud and clear.
"Thank you, dearest."
Darling - Cute! I absolutely love this one. Also because of the memory of when he first used it on me (he was jealous... of himself). 10/10 again ♡ !
Dottore always has you for himself. It only makes sense, after all, he's the original. He hogs all your attention as you are his trusted assistant, the second opinion on all his research, and his lover, so the majority of his segments are extremely deprived of you. It wasn't a major issue, they are aware that they are just segments, but since Dottore's segments were just him in a sense, he couldn't simply erase their affection toward you. And it just happened that you were very giving with your love, whether it was Dottore himself or any of his segments.
There are times when you would seek out a segment whenever they aren't busy, and they would be absolutely elated. They'd let you hold them to your heart's content, pressing kisses on their faces and then consulting with them about your research or helping them to the task Dottore has assigned them. You do try to give each segment a fraction of your love that you mostly pour onto Dottore but your actions will always hold consequences. And those consequences are the segments getting a bit too distracted to focus on their work and becoming too greedy.
So imagine the overwhelming irritation Dottore felt when he saw a small group of his segments surrounding your rather amused form, suppressing a small smirk forming on your lips as you watched them bicker and argue all for your attention. Oh, you were soaking this up. Dottore once acted like this, back when you were both younger, so it was so refreshing and entertaining to see multiple versions of him act in such ways. But your enjoyment was shortlived when Dottore suddenly grabbed you by the waist and snatched you away from the greedy segments, a scowl prominent on his face.
Panicked, you were about to calm him down just in case he makes a move to rip apart the segments gathered around you but you were caught off guard when Dottore smashed his lips against yours instead, kissing you oh-so passionately. It was a type of kiss that made your knees weak, his hands gripping your waist as he forcibly tugged you close to him, bodies pressed against each other. You couldn't hold back the small whimper that escaped you when Dottore bit down on your bottom lip as his hands slid inside your shirt and pressed his fingers hard on your hips. Dottore eyed the segments that watched with envious eyes, but stayed put, not able to do anything against it. Snaking your arms around his neck, you gasped for air once he pulled away, whining about your aching lips and the blood that dribbled down your chin but he paid no mind to it, merely smirking to himself, pleased with his work.
Cupping your reddening cheeks, he finally spoke; "No one else but I could kiss you like that. Only I could touch you like this, nor love you as much as I do, darling." While he hadn't outright said it, the message was clear to the segments present as they all held disappointed expressions. You, on the other hand, realized that you've probably played a bit too long away from him, so he had to find you around his big laboratory to get you back all for himself. With an amused huff, you shook your head at the death glares that he was giving the poor love-deprived segments and grabbed his chin, turning his head back towards you.
"You're not finished with me, aren't you?" You raised a challenging brow, "Go on, continue."
Dottore's smirk grew. "Of course, darling."
Pet - Where the hell did this come from? Kinda cute but I wouldn't appreciate it if he were to call me that in front of other Harbingers (especially Pantalone... It was already embarrassing enough the first time). A solid 7/10 pet name ♡
You were his assistant for a reason. He's had plenty before, but they'd only end up dead or running for their lives. You were the only one who could handle Dottore; the Fatui's secret weapon whenever he started acting up, they needed you to get him to settle down, reminding him that if you were to piss off the Fatui, you're gonna lose all the funding they have for your research. But it didn't mean you had full control of him, you're his lover after all. While he wasn't an outright tease or a romantic, there are times when he was. And sometimes, they'd take you by surprise.
As his little assistant, you always make great work of his demands. You deliver amazing results and only rarely anger Dottore. Additionally, you've made a habit of suggesting and correcting him in some cases, and if it were someone else to do so, they would've been dead on the spot. But no, Dottore actually listens and considers your opinions. He would never turn deaf to your words if it was you. Just like this moment. Pantalone had visited the Doctor to confide about finances he provides to Dottore's 'silly little projects' (you had to hold back a snort at that) and in the middle of their negotiations, you piped up in their conversation, offering your side of view, seeing that they were both slowly getting heated.
The rest of the conversation flowed more smoothly after you joined in. Pantalone has fully calmed down and was thanking you for making him a cup of tea. As you poured a cup for Dottore, Pantalone suddenly said; "It's always more pleasant visiting here when they're around, no? You should be more like your lover, Doctor."
Dottore, who ignored his Pantalone now that he mentioned you, merely smirked and laced his fingers together. "Of course, such a good pet, aren't they?"
A rush of multiple emotions washed over your body in an instant. Bewilderment, embarrassment, and then rage. Your face was completely red as you refused to turn your head to look at the guest that was still inside his office. Gripping the kettle in your hands so hard it almost breaks, you ignore the Regrator who was now chuckling at your amusing reaction. "Well, this pet will throw this steaming hot kettle on his face if he dares to call me that again in front of another person." You say through gritted teeth, trying to maintain the bright smile on your face.
"Well, then this pet should know—" Before he could utter another word, the sound of glass shattering reverberated through his office whilst Pantalone walked out with a big smile on his face.
Love of my life - Can this be considered a pet name? Oh well, I'm adding it anyways. It was very... soft of Dottore, so I'm storing this memory in my head forever. Literally a 100/10 pet name ♡
Due to the enhancements that both of you have made to each other, the two of you no longer required sleep. Much to Dottore's dismay, you still sleep 8 hours on most nights, stating that it still helps you stay refreshed and sane after not sleeping for too long. So it was very rare for Dottore to lay on the bed with you in your shared (more like yours) private chambers. You were used to it, for the most part. Sometimes, Dottore would escort you to your private chambers, chatting before you pass out once your head landed on your pillow, or carry you there if you'd fallen asleep somewhere else.
Tonight was different.
Shed from his multiple layers of clothing and slipping into his rarely used robes, you incredulously stare at him strip right in front of you. You honestly don't remember the last time you saw so much of his skin that you were suddenly hit by the massive urge to lunge at him and let your cold hands roam all over his body, but you held back when Dottore gave you a pointed glare, knowing exactly what was going through his mind. "Be patient," He grumbles, finally slipping into his silk robes and finally walking to his side of the bed. Tucking himself right beside you, you immediately latched onto his body, burying your face onto his chest and pressing your body against his as close as possible, it was as if you were trying to merge yourself into him with how tight you were hugging him.
But he supposed he couldn't blame you. After all, he doesn't even remember when was the last time the two of you cuddled in each other's arms on a bed. The memory he could only recall was back when you both still went to the Akademiya, which was so many years ago. Plus, it has truly been a while since he felt himself so loosen up, practically melting in your loving embrace. He felt extremely light as if he was laying on clouds instead. He knew what he was exactly feeling; safe, relaxed, happy, and content. Content with you, only ever with you. Because you make him whole, feel emotions he never would've thought he'd ever feel, do things that didn't have relevance over his ambitions, and many more.
You've always reacted so surprised whenever he does something that was a little bit out of his usual character. So when he caressed your head, pulling you impossibly closer, enough that he could smell the faint remnants of your perfume, he felt you jolt from the suddenness, then eased back against him, he thought that perhaps he hasn't done enough as your lover. That the reason why you act so surprised and genuinely don't expect such acts was that he was lacking. You loved him with all your heart, he could see it, feel it. Everyone can. From the way, you'd always make an effort to clean up his messy lab, from your impeccable patience towards him, the amount of dedication you put into your work with him, and the affection you shower on him on a daily basis. Compared to you, it was as if you were simply dating a statue. Zandik did a better job of loving you.
But Zandik was dead, and there was only Dottore. You still loved him, nevertheless. Still chose him over the myriad of better options in Teyvat. The familiar fuzziness took over his whole body, where at first he felt disgusted at, now he welcomed it wholeheartedly. It was pleasant, he will never admit aloud. So when you asked why he chose to sleep with you tonight (and possibly more nights in the future), his response truly came from the deepest depths of his heart, with only the purest form of genuine love and devotion he could only offer to you.
"I just want to be with the love of my life."
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#yaepublishinghouse#dottore x reader#il dottore x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#:;marshie.writes#:;headcanons#:;il.dottore#ACTUALLY HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT I WROTE HIM FIRST USING THE PET NAMES WHEN IT'S AN IMPORTANT EVENT FOR YOU OR DOTTORE#im a fucking genius#well except for the 'pet' part#HAHAHAHA
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well guess fucking what?
even while they're getting backlash by jp fans, why change shit when they still get #1 in the playstore revenue?
at this point i feel like they actually have an eos planned and want to rack in as much revenue as possible before they will ngl
rant under the cut, my last piece on this because i have definitely been annoying everyone around me on both twitter&tumblr in replies&the tags with this
it's honestly so ridiculous that instead of listening to the playerbase to fix the issues they've had with getting new players, revenue (in regards to content releases), etc. they just decided to do this shit with the gacha. im not too surprised in the sense that it's a gacha, of course its predatory, however it's still a new fgo low.
and it's really just stupid, they put out surveys that they don't give a fuck about. remember when nasu&takeuchi were surprised in an interview that the interviewer asked them about summer medusa? a summer character that people have begged for for years? and they didn't even bother to consider it? literally, their business model is fucking dogshit.
they introduced the coin system and stopped doing reruns, and ever since then it just kept getting worse. and instead of, idfk, implementing qol updates that'd fix these issues, they just double down. again and again
i'm not all too surprised, but i sure as hell am annoyed by it. i love fgo, i love fate. i enjoy the story even if it's awful sonetimes. i love many of the events (the skadi summer was enjoyable enough, i loved the bakin dog event, gudaguda, etc). it's given me jiang ziya, one of my biggest comfort characters. it's given me so many characters i love. it's another piece of media that i get to enjoy with my big sister, it's a big talking and bonding topic for us! some of my favoirite mutuals (who i never talk to but still love to see in my notes sometimes) i found through fgo. and it's frustrating to see them just fuck it all up like this continually
yeah i'm not surprised, but still disappointed. will i stick around? idk, maybe. there's still things i like about the game, i want to finish the main story arc at least. maybe i'll stick around until the 10th anniversary, see how abysmally they fuck that one up. it's getting kind of laughable tbh, i definitely won't stick as many resources/time into this game anymore, but yeah
WOO IT FELT GOOD TO GET THIS OUT
#fgo#i am so sorry to all the people whose posts ive basically ranted in the tags in#and to my mutuals who probably got fed up with it#but i live to yap and complain#got my last rant in that's it from me#depending on the next summer units i might just laugh#not-so-dead-salmon#salmon-rants
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