#idek what the tags were there is no helping me lmao

[purpldawne]

im gonna yell in the tags just to be safe but i am THINKING

[runningfrom2am]

leveling the playing field II

summary: you didn't meet the requirements for the plinth prize, only to find out that you're not just missing out on that- you're missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. your friend wants to help, because maybe you can help each other.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 2.8k

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows. also someone dies (but its not too graphic), mentions of blood and violence you guys get the vibes.

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a/n: embarrassed to say this is grabbing me by the cuff of my shirt and yanking me out of writer's block sorry to everyone who followed for drew's characters lmao. anyway idek if any of this is any good but as long as i'm writing something i'm pleased.

next part

Coriolanus clenched his jaw as he watched you eat from the plate of fruit your maid brought up after you called for tea, hoping that somehow you would just miss the sound of his stomach growling. He had said no, but you insisted because you were hungry. You don't even know what hungry feels like- he's already regretting letting you help him.

"So," You start, covering your mouth as you finish chewing so you could get down to strategy. If you were going to help, you had to go at this wisely. "What is your plan? Lay it out for me. I'll give you my thoughts."

"I talked to Tigris, she agreed that I need to get Lucy Gray to trust me." He tells you. "She said she would want someone here to care about her. That will have to be me."

"Okay." You nod, reaching for another slice of apple on the plate, trying to ignore the way his eyes track the fruit all the way from your plate to your lips. "So, I'm doing a more behind-the-scenes thing. I think that's better, for us and her. I don't want her to be overwhelmed."

"Yeah." Coryo agrees, staring at you. At this point, it's driving you crazy.

"Coryo." You state, pushing the dish across the coffee table in his direction. "Eat. Please."

"No, I couldn't." He tries to politely decline and you raise an eyebrow at him.

"I insist. It was made for two, I can't possibly stomach it all. It would be a shame for it to go to waste." You had laid your cards out just minutes earlier, making it clear you both knew more about each other's home lives than you cared to discuss, but that didn't mean you would torture him with it.

He hesitates before grabbing a slice and taking a few bites, looking past you and out the window. He wouldn't want it to go to waste like you said, after all.

"I won't tell anyone, you know." You say, your tone walking a line between joking and being serious. He'll interpret that in whatever way he chooses, and you're okay with that.

"I should be going, actually." He says, dropping the other half of the apple slice back onto the dish and standing up, smoothing the creases in his slacks.

You stand up as well, making your way to the door and ringing the bell that summons your maid. "I'll walk you out, just give me a second." You explain to him, and by the time you're done your sentence, she is there looking at you expectantly. "Take these leftovers and pack them up for my friend." You tell her, pointing to the mostly full plate. "And pack some of those pastries you made for his family as well, if you don't mind. Oh! And that bread, it will go bad soon if someone doesn't eat it." She just nods silently as you speak, walking past you to take the plate before leaving.

"Thank you." Coriolanus mutters through gritted teeth once your maid is out of earshot.

"Like I said," You smile. "I don't want it to go to waste."

The morning the tributes arrived, Coriolanus was late to class. He had never been late to class, not once, and you would know- because you hadn't either. Not that you were worried, but it was almost the only thing you could think about. It was odd, but he must have gone to greet Lucy Gray. That would be the only thing that made sense.

"Your little excursion is in violation of about five Academy rules, Mister Snow." Dean Highbottom says as the blonde boy walks in, uniform disheveled as he finds his seat across the room from you.

You make eye contact only briefly with him as the Dean goes on about how endangering the life of a student is against the rules, and your friend would be accumulating a demerit over the whole thing.

From what you can gather, he did go see Lucy Gray, which went farther than he intended when he ended up escorting her all the way into the monkey cage at the zoo. To you, that was comically appropriate. To Sejanus, it was a crime. Of course it was, his heart never left District Two. As much as you had your differences, Sejanus was a kind boy. You did like him, only after you got it through your mind that if you were to leave the Capitol, you would always be Capitol at heart. You're pulling on a loose string on the hem of your uniform sleeve, more, more, until you've almost undone the whole length of your wrist. When the thread breaks you want to hit something, for little to no reason, and you bite into your bottom lip.

You don't even know why you're so mad. You have a short fuse and you know that, maybe it's about Coryo. Maybe it's about your sleeve that's now slightly longer on one side.

You're drawn from your thoughts as Clemensia stands up from her seat next to Coryo, addressing Dr. Gaul who, as far as you know, had only been in the room for a minute or so. "Coriolanus and I do all our assignments together, I think it would be fitting for us to write up the proposal together too. I have some good ideas for things to be incorporated into the games along with betting." Your eyes roll so hard at this that it makes your head ache.

"I brought her a rose from Grandma'am's garden and she ate it. She needs food." Coryo tells you, walking alongside you down the hall.

"I'll get something together for her. Would you like to come with me to pick it up and then we can go to the zoo?" You ask, adjusting your shoulder bag as he holds the front door open for you.

"Okay. Are you sure you should come?"

"If you would like me to." You shrug, leading him in the direction of your parent's town car.

He thinks on it for a moment. Does he want you to meet Lucy Gray? You were technically also her mentor, even if you were taking a backseat. It struck him again, harder somehow, when he met her in person how similar she was to you. Besides the distinct accent, every word that came out of her mouth sounded as though it could have been written in a script by you. If you were district, that is. It was hard to wrap his mind around.

"I would." He finally answers, more so on impulse than resulting from his thought process.

You smile, linking your arm around his as you approach the vehicle.

"Then we can drop you at Clem's. if you'd like." You offer bitterly and he just gives a curt nod in response.

After getting your maid to pack some food for Lucy Gray with some extra for the two of you, assuming you would be gone for the evening, you got a ride to the zoo. The atmosphere was exciting, with people and children crowding the bars- this time including a few of your classmates. Sejanus, which you had expected, and Arachne- no doubt there to get attention.

"Lucy Gray!" Coryo called out, summoning the girl toward the two of you as you approached the bars marking the edge of the enclosure.

"Well hello, Coriolanus. You brought a friend, care to introduce us?" She smiles, looking between the two of you. Admittedly, you admire her poise, given the situation. Politeness in front of the cameras was a must- she's doing an exemplary job in humanizing herself.

"Lucy Gray, this is my friend Y/N Y/L/N. Y/N, meet Lucy Gray." He nods between the two of you and you reach through the bars to shake her hand.

"Hello. Pleasure to meet you." You smile at her, which she returns.

"You as well." She nods, clearly impressed as she looks between you and Coryo. You had decided back at your home to not introduce yourself as another mentor, just as a friend, after gushing the reaction to the other tributes thinking Lucy Gray was getting special treatment this morning when her mentor was the only one to show up. "Coriolanus, is Miss Y/L/N here your sweetheart?"

His face flushes red as he shakes his head, refusing to look at you. You laugh, not noticing his change in undertone as you answer for him. "No, no. Just a friend." You explain, digging in your bag for her food, wanting to quickly change the subject. "We brought you this." You hold out the napkin for her, containing a sandwich, a couple of desserts, and some plums.

"Oh wow, thank you!" Lucy Gray smiles, accepting it gratefully. "Hey, Jessup! Come eat." She calls out to the other tribute from her district, who you remember was assigned to Lysistrata Vickers.

He comes over, but doesn't acknowledge either of you as Lucy Gray holds out one of the dessert bars to him. "I'm not hungry."

"It won't do you any good to starve now. You need your energy." Lucy Gray insists, practically shoving it into his hand.

"I hope you like blueberry." You cut in. "It's a blueberry biscuit with pistachio filling. Made fresh this morning- I promise it's good."

He doesn't say anything, taking it and retreating to the rock he was previously sitting on to eat.

"Will you be sharing everything with him?" Coryo asks her quietly as he walks away.

"Why? So I can keep my energy up enough to strangle him? I don't think that will matter much in a few days."

"You can't trust anyone once the games start, so why trust them now?" You reply quietly, scanning over the other tributes, eyes landing on Arachne taunting her tribute. Of course she would- her arrogance never fails to impress you.

"Your friend over there seems just lovely." Lucy Gray says sarcastically, eyes following yours as you watch your classmate.

"Not our friend." You and Coryo respond at the same time.

"She's poison with perfect teeth." He continues and you nod.

"One thing I learned in twelve is that hunger is a weapon." Lucy Gray says. You're not sure what she means, but you nod anyway.

"Here, let's sit." You suggest, changing the subject as you crouch down to lay out a cloth on the ground to place the food on.

As you're laying it out carefully between the bars for Lucy Gray, you can feel Coryo's eyes burning into the backs of your hands. Lucy Gray notices this too, handing him a cookie from the pile.

"No, I couldn't." His default response. "You need it more than me."

"You were staring. Here, we'll share." She insists and he takes it gratefully, breaking off a piece and placing it in his mouth.

"Here..." You mumble, digging through your bag again and pulling out the glass container designated for his dinner. You place it in his lap, not giving him the chance to turn it down. "Packed it just for you."

He takes it off his lap, tensely getting up. "I'll be back in a moment." He tells you both, red uniform disappearing behind the small crowd.

"You can see it too?" Lucy Gray asks you, nibbling on half of a sandwich.

You nod slightly, eyes still trying to track him to see where he went, then landing on him talking to Sejanus who's desperately trying to get his tribute, Marcus, to eat some of the food he brought.

"He's quite sensitive about it." You explain. "I appreciate you being kind to him. No one else knows... I think. Regardless, you are very important to him."

She nods a little bit, watching you watch your friend. "Are you just buttering me up?" She jokes and you shake your head, returning your attention to the girl across from you.

"No, I mean it. It's more than the prize for us." You state. "Him." You quickly correct yourself. "I just want to help however I can, if you need anything else just ask, but I'll bring food every day. Or I'll send it with Coryo."

"Coryo, huh?"

"Well, yes. We've been friends for years."

"I see." Lucy Gray nods, both of you watching him make his way back over. You lift up his container of food and hand it to him before he even has the chance to sit down.

"What about you, Lucy Gray? Any friends back home? Family?" You ask, looking away from him as he sits. You want him to eat, but you know he would loathe you for watching, so you direct all your attention to her.

"I'm an orphan, just like Coryo here." She nods to him and his brows furrow at the nickname coming from someone new. "It's just me and the Covey."

"Covey?" You ask.

"Yeah, they're my family and we perform together. It's how we make our change."

"Well, you are a very talented singer. Jaws were on the floor in the Capitol during your performance." You smile. 

"I'm not one to go quietly, that's all."

"I'm not either." You agree. "I think we'll be fine friends."

Just at that moment, the three of you hear a scream that has you turning your heads as fast as lightning over to the source, catching the end of Arachne getting her throat slit by her tribute. You and Coriolanus are on your feet in seconds, running over to try and help her just as gunfire rings out, taking down her tribute for the crime of her murder.

You pull off your blazer, both you and Coryo using it to try and stop the bleeding, but you could tell it was no use. By the time you look up, the crowd of spectators was completely gone having rushed for the exits during the attack.

Just as you both realize it's no use, and that she's already dead, you're being pulled away by peacekeepers.

"Hey! Let me go right this second!" You shout, trying to pull away.

"You kids have to get out of here." One of them answers blankly.

"I have to get my stuff!" You complain, trying to wiggle out of their strong grip. "You want me to leave my knife over within reach too? Are you stupid?"

They stop, sighing as they let you go. "Thank you." You huff, readjusting your shirt before walking back over to where you were just sitting with Lucy Gray, quickly gathering your things but leaving food for her.

"Lucy Gray, are you alright?" You ask, seeing her lying on the ground a few feet away from the bars now, just getting up.

She just nods, the fear in her eyes starting to cease. 

"You're not shot?" You follow up with, looking over her at the same time she does.

"No, I'm fine. You go." She replies, standing up again and dusting off her dress.

"Thank god. Those idiots are awful shots!" You bite, looking back at the peacekeepers over your shoulder, Coriolanus now nowhere to be seen.

You stand up and pull your bag across your body, walking past them toward the exit as they attempt to guide you in the right direction. "Don't touch me!" You hiss, smacking their hands away.

"Coryo!" You call out, running to catch up with him in the academy hall the next morning. He slows down, glancing over his shoulder and stopping to wait for you.

"Y/N." He states, looking at you expectantly. 

"Shall we go see Lucy Gray today?" You ask, reaching up to tighten your ponytail that had come loose in your jog.

"No." He shakes his head, continuing to walk and you follow after him. 

"What? Why not? She needs us to bring her food, and we have to-"

"I'll discuss the games with her at the planned meeting this afternoon. You won't be going back to the zoo."

"Excuse me?" You ask, grabbing his arm to stop him in his tracks. "I know I'm like, your assistant, or whatever, but you will not tell me what I can and cannot do."

"It's too dangerous. They are dangerous." Coriolanus argues. "I won't have you ending up like Arachne."

He had been up all night writing his proposal for Dr. Gaul. It was the only thing that could get his mind off the death of his classmate, and off of you. What if it had been you? He should have known it was dangerous, it was his fault. It was his idea that the mentors get closer to the tributes and someone was killed. Arachne's blood was on his hands, and he was just relieved that it wasn't yours staining his uniform instead.

"No. No, she died because she was stupid." You whisper, looking around. "She taunted her tribute and handed her a knife, at that point it's natural selection. I am not her. I am smarter."

He stares down at you, scanning over your features as you beg him to let you continue to help. "You need me, Coriolanus. Admit that much to yourself."

"I don't need you," He spits back. "But I like you much better alive. You are the one person in this school I can stand, I won't lose you over something so reckless." He pulls his arm from your grasp and walks off.

You look around, seeing your classmates staring and you roll your eyes. "Take a picture or something." You say to no one in particular, prompting people to avert their eyes.

taglist: @keziahcore, @kitscutie, @annaelise, @serrendiipty, @babyspice3, @babyspice6, @fratboyharrysgf0201, @totallynotkaibiased, @stelleduarte, @klplynn, @secretsicanthideanymore

if your name has a strike-through, that means i was unable to tag you so please double check your user is correct!

fill out my form linked here to join my taglist!

[ngelwaves]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

tysm @missatan for tagging me!! 🥰🫶🏽

1. are you named after anyone? not that i’m aware of

2. when was the last time you cried? yesterday 😭

3. do you have kids? no and i dont want any ever, i’ve heard way too many pregnancy horror stories and child crime stories

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? it’s like my second language, i can't help it 😭

5. what sports do you play/have you played? i played badminton in high school! my hs coach really wanted me to go pro but i couldn't afford a pro coach 😅

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people? looks-wise, hair. but i also pay attention to how they are.. morally? like i pick up on weirdo behavior very fast.

7. eye color? dark brown, almost black. 😭

8. scary movies or happy endings? both. i LOVE a good scary movie and if it has a twisted or fucked up ending, i’m all for it. but sometimes i love a good happy ending or i’ll feel unsatisfied? or like i wasted my time lol

9. any special talents? i can dream in languages i’m not fluent in? i can paint? also i become extremely good at any video game i play (my bf hates it lol). idk if those are special 😭

10. where were you born? Texas 🤢

11. what are your hobbies? painting, gaming, writing, makeup, reading, dancing

12. do you have any pets? yes I have a dog named tina, and a kitten named spunk!

13. how tall are you? 5′7

14. fave subject in school? english and art!

15. dream job? it always changes tbh, i used to want to be a makeup artist, but then i got a little tired of makeup. still kinda want to be a professional badminton player but i’m so un-athletic now. then maybe a published author, or an established artist, but I also don’t want my hobbies to become a job. idek if i could do any of those bc mental illness lmao 🤷🏽‍♀️

tagging: @maleeni @armadoth @mrsimqle @meysims @444proxy @7intendo @sicckyyy @gentletrait @saturngalore @sikoi @simsadilla @serenityhex @retrgrd @rottengurlz @sparkilina (sorry if u already did it!)

[hearts4cara]

Writer This or That, part 2

(i wasn’t tagged by anyone and i’m not tagging anyone so. have fun do it if u want to)

slow burn or love at first sight - i’m impatient sorry and i love all the feels that come with love at first sight

fake dating or secret dating - all these people think loves for show but i would die for you in secret...its just SO GOOD MWAH

enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers - it’s sm cuter sorry...

oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence - long-distance makes me sad (online friends gang) and only one bed is so fun

hurt-comfort or amnesia - hurt-comfort is my fav thing in fics period and amnesia might be my least fav so..

fantasy au or modern au

mutual pining or domestic bliss - THIS WAS SO HARD!! but i’m a sucker for pining i can’t help it

smut or fluff

canon-compliant or fix-it

reincarnation or character death - ironic bc i just chose fix-it lmao, but reincarnation is frequently corny imo

one-shot or multi-chapter - i’m mostly doing these for reading but i cannot write oneshots idek why i just always have to do multi-chapter

kid fic or road trip fic - i am in the minority of ppl who like kid fics tho

arranged marriage or accidental marriage - i hate arranged and i’m confused on how someone can get accidently married so

high school romance or middle aged romance - it never gets old unlike middle aged romance! (sorry)

time travel or isolated together - idrk what isolated together means my bad yall

neighbors or roommates - oh my gawd they were roommates

sci-fi au or magic au - i will never be a sci-fi girly sorry

body swap or genderbend - don’t like either but body swaps r much worse

angst or crack

apocalyptic or mundane - i’m a tlou girly u already know

[gillianthecat]

hi gillian! you have so much to say about all the bls you watch (this is definitely not a bad thing, i enjoy reading what other people think about our shared interests) but i was just wondering how did you survive being a lurker? did you write your thoughts anywhere or did you just kept them to yourself? i struggle with this myself, i feel like i have so much to say about everything, but i don't really say it or share it, i happily read other people's opinions and silently agree or disagree idek where i'm going with this lmao i guess i'm just curious to know such a "talkative" and person as you was once a lurker

Hi Anon!

So interestingly, when I was a lurker I didn't watch BL at all, barely knew what it was. I joined Tumblr because of a hockey romance writer (Taylor Fitzpatrick, I'm still a big fan of her work) and then mostly started following fanfic writers. Because I mostly read fanfic for media I don't read/watch or for sports RPF in sports I don't follow (which I know makes me a bit of an outlier) I didn't have much to say about the source materials. And because my tendency when writing about stuff is to be pretty analytical and to pick works apart even when I love them, that wasn't something I was going to do in public on tumblr where any of the authors (many of whom I followed) could see it. That just felt invasive. All of which is to say, being a lurker came very naturally to me at the time; it honestly didn't really occur to me to do anything else. And I didn't write my thoughts down or share them with anyone else, my fanfic reading (indeed most of my reading) had always felt like a private part of myself. I had plenty of thoughts and comparative analyses, etc, but it just kind of bubbled up in my brain and then disappeared.

My transition into posting on here about BL happened fairly spontaneously, pretty much immediately after I started watching BL; I don't really remember consciously deciding to make that change. Perhaps I did, and it's fallen out of my mind, I do remember being a little anxious the first time I reblogged something with comments of my own, feeling worried that I would bother people or people would think I was weird or something. On the other hand, my reblog was about Pete and Vegas' kink-filled explicit sex scene, so I must not have been that nervous 😂 I do remember tagging a lot of my posts "#my ramblings" early on; that self depreciation helped me mitigate my self-consciousness about whether my words were "worthwhile." Which I've come to the surety (at least on most days) is a meaningless concept here on tumblr, people can follow you or block you, you're not forcing your words in anyone's face. Seeing all the silly stuff that does get posted has helped me get over the feeling that I'm supposed to be making "worthwhile" content.

It's very freeing (especially as a former perfectionist who once felt she had to read and analyze every single one of an author's dozen or so novels* in order to write a term paper on him) to realize that I don't have to be an expert on anything to write about it on here. I can write in the voice that I want to, and use too many adjectives and adverbs and run-on sentences, and not feel like I have to write concisely or "properly" or even "understandably" if I don't feel like it. I can just share my thoughts and reactions and even be wrong (gasp!) or ignorant (the horrors!) and nothing bad will happen. I've been fortunate in that no one has been hateful or even slightly rude to me yet (the QL community seems particularly kind, even for tumblr), but if it ever does happen, that block button is a powerful tool.

One interesting side effect (or perhaps cause, who knows how these chains of causality are linked) is that I almost never watch episodes of shows straight through anymore. I used to be a binge watcher, a whole season (or more!) in one go with barely a break. Now I almost always pause many many times an episode. Sometimes just to take a break, sometimes to write down my thoughts in the notes app or something (i'll often have two devices in front of me at once, or switch back and forth between apps/tabs/programs) or to liveblog here on tumblr. I'm now pretty much incapable of watching a show without feeling the urge to write about it. Which is both good and bad 🤷🏻‍♀️

In terms of what actually happened to get me posting: I think sometimes (like today) my brain just overflows and then I start writing and the self-consciousness mostly falls to the wayside. Which isn't a helpful suggestion if that's not what your brain does, but it is what happened.

The Advice Part:

I have a couple of ideas for you, based on possible things that could be holding you back from participating. If it's that you feel self-conscious, you can keep doing what you're doing now and sending anonymous thoughts to other bloggers. Not everyone accepts anon asks, but most people who do are happy to publish them and have a conversation with people on anon. Or you could create a sideblog, or even an entire separate blog that you use to post your thoughts about BL, in a way that might feel even more safely anonymous than your regular tumblr. You don't even have to tag anything or follow anyone if you want the cocoon of being relatively invisible while expressing your thoughts. Then, if that starts to feel more comfortable you could start tagging, or reblogging other people's stuff, and start sharing your ideas more publicly. Or stay in that cocoon forever; there is no reason to leave if that's what feels comfortable!

Or you could start (assuming you don't already) by reblogging stuff and adding comments in the tags. And if that starts to feel less scary, or like not enough room for what you want to say, you could shift to reblogging with comments in the... whatever its called, the not tags. And replying rather than reblogging might feel a little safer - it's not quite so public, only the original poster or those who intentionally look into the notes will see it.

If the issue is that you feel overwhelmed by all your ideas, or all the shows, you could pick one or two shows to talk about. Or one or two bloggers to reply to. Or set a goal for yourself of one post a week/a day/whatever works. Just something to create some structure for yourself to make it feel less overwhelming.

Looking back over your ask, I'm not even sure you were looking for advice, but... uh... here some is anyways? Feel free to write back! With questions about this, anything else, or just to chat some more. Or for an anonymous venue for your thoughts!

(One last piece of practical advice, inspired by my computer just dying on me as I was finishing this up. Save Your Drafts! Save early and often. Save whenever you have to navigate away from the editing page. Most of the time the post editor is pretty good. And it even has an autosave function now, at least sometimes, under certain conditions. Which has saved me before from losing stuff, but it's not a surefire thing. So, since it's a pain to try and recreate something painstakingly written, I do highly recommend saving early and often.)

*the novelist was Ayi Kwei Armah, for anyone curious. and it must have been less than a dozen books. but it felt like a lot. sadly I remember very little of either the books or the term paper now.

p.s. I am like so unbelievably flattered by you coming to me for advice and wanting to know my story. i'm flattered by any and all asks i've ever gotten, really. so thank you 😊

[jimothystu]

thank you @donttelltheelff for the tag!! <3

what book are you currently reading? just started Loveless by Alice Oseman, and I'm slowly making my way through No Country For Old Gnomes by Delilah S Dawson and Kevin Hearne

favourite movie you saw in theatres this past year? idek when i last saw a movie in theatres lmao. probably like, the last star wars movie that was released a few years ago??

what do you usually wear? anything comfy lol. lately it's been sweatpants or loose jeans and a sweater or flannel

how tall are you? 5'5" ish i think

what's your star sign & do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event? taurus and idfk

do you go by your name or a nickname? usually nicknames. most people call me jenn, but family and family friends call me jenna

did you grow up to become what you wanted to be as a child? well i sure as hell did not study or am looking to become a paleontologist or veterinarian so... lmao no.

are you in a relationship? if not, who is your crush if you have one? not in a relationship. have a crush. not gonna share here lmao i'll let y'all guess

what is something you're good at vs. something you're bad at? good at writing. also bad at writing lmfao

dogs or cats? idkkkk cats ig?? but i love my dog to death

if you draw/write/create in any way, what's your favourite picture/line/etc. from something you created in the last year? oh god khsjnndkjsnsa. uhhh. idk??? i really really loved writing this 1634 fic and this 2072 fic. i'm also really happy with the current original story i'm working on it's totally not a gay hockey romance wdym

what is something you would like to create content for? i'd love to do more painting or digital art in general!

what's something you're currently obsessed with? arber xhekaj and his relationship with jural slafkovsky!!! also the hockey team(s) i made up for my gay hockey romance novel lmfaooo

what's something you were excited about this past year that turned out to be disappointing? ig maybe the journalism program i was going to start in the fall but ended up having to drop out before it begun so i could have surgery on my back that only partially helped my pain :D don't get me wrong i am so grateful to have had the surgery and for it to have decreased some of my pain but :/ fuck man chronic pain is stupid

what's a hidden talent of yours? i can kind of sing??

are you religious? not really, no. slightly spiritual but it isn't a big part of my life

what's something you wish to have at the moment? a fucking break dude. or just, yanno, a brain that worked. more realistically, a job would be nice lol

tagging @wonderlandsandi @lifeofpriya @introvertedperson16 @lam-ila and anyone who wants to do this <3

[bbyquokka]

15 questions tagged by @sstarryoong 🖤

are you named after anyone? not really? i was originally going to be called Felisha (marley if i was a boy) but i guess not? took my mum and dad a week to think of a name for me until a mother in the cubical next to my mothers overheard the name of their baby, hence my name now. so uh yeah

2. when was the last time you cried? like, 3 days ago? lmao, i was close to crying today but i dont have energy

3. do you have kids? nope but one day

4. do you use sarcasm? idk, do you?

5. what's the first thing you notice about people? how they percieve themselves and act around me and others

6. what's your eye color? brown

7. scary movies or happy endings? scary movies!!

8. any special talents? uh, i can lick my nose? idek if that is a talent or just one of them things, lmaooo

9. what are your hobbies? listening to music, playing games, writing smut!

10. where were you born? in a hospital in the uk :)

11. do you have any pets? nope. my mum and dad rescued a French bulldog but me and the bf would like to have an Alaskan malamute at some point

12. what sports do you play/have played? I use to do dance/ballet when i was a small child now i dont do any, lol

13 .how tall/short are you? 16ocm

14.favorite subject in school? english and science, purely because the science lessons were so much fun. just mess around with friends, have a laugh/ it was great

15. dream job? idk, something in the field of mental help. i wanna help others and whatnot, yknow.

๑ ⋆˚₊⋆────ʚ˚ɞ────⋆˚₊⋆ ๑ ︶ ︶꒷ ₊˚ฅ

tagging: @oshimee + anyone else that wants to do this. (sry i dont have energy to tag rn ;c)

[kuiinncedes]

.

[goldenkirstein]

aot band! au headcanons pt. 1:

pt. two here

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

pairing: jean x fem! reader, eren x fem! reader, zeke x fem! reader

wc: 1.2k+

cw: smut (18+ minors DNI), reader has female anatomy, manipulation/corruption, dumbification/incoherence, sorta dubcon (?), mentions of spit, cockwarming, unprotected sex, cursing, dirty talk, creampie/breeding, cumplay, degradation, perv! zeke.

a/n: okayyyyy, so im reposting this, because i didn't like it the first time i posted it lol. i added and cut out some things still don't know if i really like it. anyways, i tried my best with tagging everything, i really hope i didn't miss anything, if i did please let me know. this is my first time writing anything smutty, i'd love to hear any feedback or criticism !!

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

smut under the cut

jean kirstein

Jean would play the electric guitar.

He wouldn't have any big tattoos but tiny stick and pokes, but when he takes off his shirt, there would be this giant, intricate tattoo that spans his entire back.

He wears thin white t-shirts that cling to his body when he gets all sweaty from performing or when he douses himself in water because the lights make it really hot on stage, babe. The shirt becomes practically see-through, and when he turns around, you can see the outline of the back tattoo. You swear he does it on purpose.

HIS HANDS, calloused from hours of practice, wears chunky silver rings that make his long fingers stand out. He keeps his ring finger empty, though (he's a romantic and a big ol’ softie).

When he's writing songs or can't figure out what chord would sound right, he plays with his rings. He takes them off, sliding them up and down his finger until he's satisfied and moves on to the others.

It drives him insane if he sees you singing along to his songs at the concerts. He'll smirk at you, opting for a quick wink, before getting back to performing.

After the show, he’ll pull you into his lap, in whatever empty room is available. He’ll have his hands on your hips, the cold rings contrasting against your hot skin.

His heart would be beating so fast, adrenaline pumping through his veins. He just got off stage, and here you are, grinding down on the growing bulge in his pants, driving him crazy.

On most days, he liked it when you would fuck him post-show, sliding your skirt up and sink down on his cock.

He loved watching you fuck yourself dumb around him, tits bouncing in his face, head thrown back in pleasure. His cock would reduce you into an incoherent blubbering mess. The only thing making sense was the way you were chanting his name like a prayer.

this fucker would love to whisper the most filthy things in your ear, “you’re making such a mess around my cock, petal. You’re gonna be a good slut and clean it up after, right?”

when he’s about to cum, he turns into an absolute mess. He gets super whimpery and will hold you close to his chest as he dumps his load in you. He stays like that for a while, watching as his cum drips out of your cunt and down his dick.

He doesn’t let you get off his cock, partly because he’s so sensitive and partly because he secretly wants to stuff you full of his babies.

after he’s calmed down a bit, he’ll open his eyes and run a hand through his hair, letting out a small chuckle, “shit, baby, you keep fucking me like that and I might just have to put a ring around that finger.”

eren yeager

plays bass and is on vocals

he has a sleeve on one arm, and the other one is empty. It's pretty cohesive, and the pieces link together-think American traditional; he takes great pride in his tattoos. After all, they're pieces of art on his body.

He likes showing off on stage. He’ll take off his shirt and throw it into the crowd, and he loves hearing the screams that ensue afterwards.

Always the performer; he’ll walk off the stage and stand on the rails, getting the people in the crowd to run their hands down his sweat-slicked torso. It’s another crowd favourite.

he wears rings too, and his favourite thing to do is to get you to pull them off his fingers using your mouth. He has to coax you into each time, “I can’t pull them off by myself; they’re too tight, need your help, angel.” He just likes having you suck on his fingers; he won’t tell you that, though.

He likes the attention from the fans, but he mainly does it to get you hot and bothered. Eren stares at you while strangers are practically grabbing at him. It’s a game for him. Figure out just how many ways he can get to you.

you always avoid him after the shows, in a way to tell him that you're not impressed by the stunts he pulls.

As much as you try to run and hide, he always finds you. He’ll come up from behind, hands on your waist; you don’t need to see him to know that he’s got that Cheshire cat grin on his face.

Try to escape from his grip, and it’ll only get tighter, “what’d you think of my little performance, princess? Did it make you weak in the knees?”

He loves pushing your buttons, does everything to get a reaction out of you, try all you might, the night always ends the same way, you bent over his dressing room table, skirt lifted, panties to the side, and him fucking ruthlessly into you from behind.

the stoic front you put up would be practically erased from the way his cock slides in and out of your spongy walls, hitting that sweet spot over and over again.

He loves hearing you beg for him; he wants to listen to the vulgar words fall from your mouth, wants to have you begging him to let you cum, pleading for him to cum in your pussy.

He’ll tease you endlessly, “what’s that angel? If you want my cum so bad, you gotta beg better than that.” In the end, he always gives in, also liking the way his seed drips out of your pulsating hole.

Before any can drip down your thighs, he’ll slide back your panties, straighten out your skirt and send you off, saying that, “it’s for later, for when you try fingering that pretty little pussy, you’ll always have a reminder of who owns it.”

Bonus: tour manager! zeke yeager:

tour manager zeke, who watches the shows from the venue’s back, keeping his eyes trained on you.

Tour manager zeke who has a reputation for being a sleazebag, a cheapskate and vile to women.

Tour manager zeke, who watches as you stay back after each show to clean up, smiling ever so sweetly at him, “no mr. yeager, I really don’t mind helping out. It’s the least I can do.”

tour manager zeke, who can’t help think of shameful things when you bend over to pick up the crumpled posters, his eyes that linger a little too long at the swell of your pert ass.

Tour manager zeke thinks about how your mouth would feel around his cock, how your eyes would tear up as he pushed your head further and further down his cock. How pretty you would look with spit and cum coating that sweet face of yours.

Tour manager zeke, who has always been kind to you, offering to take you home for the night, telling you how cute you look and how he can’t believe you’re over 18.

Tour manager zeke wants to defile you and make you his, ruin you so that you can only get off from his cock and no one else’s.

Tour manager zeke wants to teach you how to suck dick, how to ride, how to fuck.

Tour manager zeke, who treats you so nicely, putting false notions in your mind so you can let your guard down around him, hoping that one day he can shape you into his plaything.

a/n: hope the smut sounded right this time around lmao, i might scrap it in the morning again idek yet, just wanted to see if i could even write smut.

I am working on the second part of somewhere only we know !! thank you for all the love on that.

if this does well, i'd love to do a part two to this with armin, mikasa and connie, please let me know if that is something you would be interested in !!

as always, if you enjoyed, leave a like/reblog, i truly appreciate it <33

[lveclouds]

↬ pairing: rich boy/dance major! jimin x photography major reader, other members will make appearances

↬ genre: e2l, college/university au, fluff, heavy angst, slow burn 

↬ wc : preview (idek lmao) drafts (currently): 15.6k

↬ summary: in which a dance major and rich boy who’s used to getting what he wants, crosses paths with you, a gorgeous yet feisty photography major, and tries to come to terms with the fact that not everything comes easy, especially love.  

↬ rating(s): pg-15, nc17 (see tw)

↬ tw: heavy swearing, heavy alcohol consumption,/ intoxication (jimin goes to parties WAY too much and gets VERY drunk + do NOT drink until you’re of age, y/n, tae, and namjoon get a little drunk, its very brief), denial of feelings, jimin is a certified asshole (but he’s also misunderstood), toxic relationships, dysfunctional family (jimin’s family are shit human beings) (verbal abuse), mentions of one-night stands (jimin is a player smh), there’s a love triangle (im so sorry), y/n and jimin were roommates one year, copious amounts of the use of “princess” and “sweetheart”, mentions of past relationships, jimin makes slightly suggestive remarks towards y/n (nothing nsfw)

↬ note: this fic is part of the “college enemies 101″ fic project, hosted by @btshoneyhive​ and @kookdiaries​ ! i’m very excited to be a part of this project. the title of this fic was inspired by halsey’s song, “hurricane.” 

↬ p.s. : tysm to @joyfulhopelox​ aka maria for helping me with the ratings for this fic! (you’re an angel ILU MWAH <3333!!)

"what the hell do you want from me, park jimin?” you spat, dark eyes glittering with annoyance, making his blood boil. “what i want,” jimin said through gritted teeth, “is for you to cut the act and admit you have feelings for me.” 

you chuckled darkly. “you’re fucking kidding me, right?” jimin suppressed a growl. “does it fucking look like i’m joking?” this was absolutely pathetic, he thought angrily, why the hell should he be pining after you like a lost puppy? 

you fixed him with the iciest glare you could muster. “well, even if you weren’t, i wouldn’t believe you. you’re a rich boy who thinks that everything can be handed to you on a silver platter, and that every girl is going to fall at your feet, well, news flash, asshole, this is the real world, where some of us have to actually work for the things we want.” you sneered, and jimin felt his stomach churn with anger. 

“you don’t know anything about me.” he grumbled, and you scoffed. “please, i don’t need to know anything about you to know that you’re a certified prick.” 

jimin had had enough. “how can you be so fucking blind?” he hissed, and your face twisted with irritation. “i like you, why can’t you see that?” almost immediately, your expression morphed into one of shock. “what?” you breathed, your voice tight, and jimin let out a dark, bitter chuckle. 

“i like you, but since you think of me as nothing more than a swaggering asshole, it doesn’t really matter now, does it?” 

release date: oct 17-30th 

tagging: @lavienjin​ , @suhdays​ , @sketchguk​ , @sunshinejunghoseokie​, @blushingkoo​ , @guktual​ , @jiminisyourangel​, @vantecaffe​ , @balenciaguks​ , @jimilter​, @ddaechwita​, @jenoloqy​, @luvrsquest​ , @4gustdiors​ , @kookdiaries​ , @loverjimin​ + anyone else who wants to be tagged! (lmk if you want to be a part of the taglist) 

[ardenssolis]

———  basics! ♡

(PEN)NAME:  Shi

PRONOUNS:  she / her

ZODIAC SIGNS:  CAPRICORNNNNN—!

TAKEN OR SINGLE:  Single

TIME ZONE: CST

———  three  facts! ♡

I’ve never been to a school off military bases so idek what normal civilian schools are like

I looooove horror films, but also will cover my eyes if it gets too bloody.

I have a lot of succulents in my room and I named them all after Knights of the Round…

———  experience ! ♡

I have been writing for like 5000 years. Didn’t get into rping until I was like 13 years old and it was in a Yugioh chat where everyone was typing super fast and messages were like vroom across my screen (which actually helped me learn to type really fast but THAT’S ANOTHER STORY–). From there, I eventually rp’d some things with Inuyasha in that chat when that show came on Toonami, then eventually branched off to ocs that I’d write / draw on Deviantart for groups and stuff which was really fun! In 2016 (?) I wound up coming on tumblr because college life killed my drive to draw over time so keeping up with that was difficult. From then on, here is where I’ve been! ^ O ^ )9

———  muse preference !  ♡

I notice I tend to drift towards muses that have moral ambiguity for the most part, but I have written muses like Kirei from F.ate so who knows! But for the most part, I do like those grey aligned individuals because they’re so fun to pick apart due to all the layers they have. Are they your friend? Your enemy? It’s that mystery that’s so great.

———  FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡    

FLUFF:  I LOVE IT. A lot of my muses are not really “fluffy” most of the time, so when there’s an opportunity to write them in a way where they step outside of a certain bubble and show another side of themselves that’s softer, I’m forever all for it. The rarity of it is what makes me adore those little moments the most. Even something as simple as baking for any of my muses has me clenching my chest and feeling all warm and fuzzy lmao. I am but a simple woman.

ANGST:  I love angst, but for a purpose. If it’s done without any form of direction just for the sake of it, like Jake gets hit by a car out of nowhere in an rp so Billy can get upset then I probably don’t have interest in it. But if it’s for characterization purposes and it feels natural and not forced, then I am all game! Some of the best rps I have had were quite emotional and really, really dug deep into my muses. Even more so if that muse doesn’t often let their feelings be known to someone else but they’re put in a situation where they’re feeling it. 

SMUT:  I may not write smut very often, but I do love it when I do! I tend to get really lengthy with it because I enjoy exploring the emotional aspect of smut more so than the spicy factor. Do I like the spice? Yes. But the feelings behind it are what really keeps me writing more so than the former. When it comes to smut, though, I’m much more comfortable writing this with friends or mutuals I’ve known for a while. Writing that with people I’m not too familiar with is just not my cup of tea FKJDSHFSFSS.

PLOT / MEMES:  I can’t plot to save my life. Like, I prefer just  a simple quick back and forth until we have a good idea on a direction we want to go, and then from there, someone just making a starter / sending an inbox interaction whenever to hop into it. Anything more than that and my attention span tends to slowly drift away. So memes are 100% often the way to go with me just because those can start anywhere and just go anywhere. I’m a spontaneous rper for the most part! 

tagged by: @oldestking​​ (thank you smol! ///////)

tagging: anyone who wants it!

[roanniee]

SO.

Let's try this again🤸🏻

Also Idil vibes strong on this one. I can't say Gil bc Gil calls Ate Sel smth specific like she does with me.

Ship the @mythos-blogs Crew

ps. here's the server <3

@admiringlove

Baby Sam is very hard working and focused on whatever she's doing that sometimes, she forgets to take care of herself. So, I see Sugawara Koushi with her perfectly, someone caring and understanding, but knows better than to let her overwork and tells her when enough is enough. The both of you do struggle with a few things, and when you fight or have insecure moments, you sit down to talk about it instead of shouting at each other. Overall, a really good match I say.

Baby Sam also kins Oikawa and I ship Oikawa hardcore with Suga LMAO

@ninjamomo

Me. That's my wife <333

Okay but for realsies. I ship Idil with Bokuto Koutarou. Bokuto and Idil would be just... soft love. I see dancing in the rain, bathtub relaxation hours together and cuddling in bed. Idil knows that Bokuto is a busy man, and Bokuto knows he is a busy man. But that doesn't mean that they were gonna let the relationship go. Oh no. Those two will hold on like a cat with his claws on the couch. A really really soft, supportive and strong love.

@tooru-luvs

I actually had a hard time with Ms. Zizi. See, I haven't interacted with her much. But, based on the interactions of hers that I see on my tl, I can see that she is very playful but also can be serious. Hence, why I say that she'd be amazing with Kuroo Tetsurou. Kuroo is playful and an overall gremlin, but he's very caring ang knows exactly when to be serious and how serious. He'll help her with anything he can help her with, but he also knows when no to because it's something Zizi needs to do for herself. Likewise, Zizi knows when to be cheery to make Kuroo smile, but also when to sit and talk to Kuroo about a delicate matter. They'd both ground each other, while matching the same playful energy.

@rokudaddie

HEY I CAN TAG HER NOW KSKSKS

ME ME ME ME ME

anyways hehe. Gly. Lovely, sweet, Gly. She's very caring, but my god does she also enjoy chaos. Hence, I'm putting her with Hoshiumi Korai. We all know Hoshiumi is a little gremlin with a heart of gold. The way these two are together would be immaculate. They're chaos together, but even with all the chaos, they have time to look at the other to make sure they're okay. PLUSSS! Hoshiumi will always unconsciously be touching Gly, just to make sure that she's there. Gly would unconsciously make sure that Hoshiumi is in her peripheral vision too.

@moonlit-island

Ooooh Raya! Raya is so damn sweet and caring and uplifting. I love her sm. Hehehe anyway I ship her with Tsukishima Kei. The Tarot cards said so, and so did the zodiac signs. SKSKS Anyway! Yes, a really good match. Raya's got a really good head on her shoulders, but I see her watching all the chaos from the sidelines, much like Tsukishima. When they're together, they'd start the chaos and then sit back and eat popcorn as they watch the world burn.

@laineeey00

Ate Laine? Some will definitely say Kita, because it's Ate Laine, but I say Hirugami Sachiro. Hirugami would be such a good man for Ate Laine. I imagine them sitting down in the living room, books spread out on the table. Just silence while studying, but every now and then, one of them would look up to look at the other, smile and then return back to what they were doing. Ate Laine makes sure that Hirugami takes breaks and Hirugami makes sure that Ate Laine isn't stressing so much. Just so cute honestly.

@betheydocrimewrites

Ah, Adult Sam. Hmmm. Adult Sam is a whirlwind of chaos and sweet, sweet angst. I definitely see them with darling Yamaguchi Tadashi. I see them in bed, Sam on his laptop, and him just hugging them tight when something they were writing was choking them up. But, Sam is just overall an amazing person that they deserve someone so sweet and caring like Yamaguchi. Obvi, it is reciprocated, and I see such a sweet love in the works.

@melsun

Oooh. Alice.

Melian and Matsukawa Issei would make a very interesting pairing. Both independent yet still co-dependent on each other. Melian knows how to calm Matsukawa after a tough day at work, and Matsukawa knows how to keep Melian from stressing. Matsukawa would also hype Melian up so much?? Like any outfit Melian wears, Matsukawa's right there telling them how good and amazing they look and how well they matched the outfit up. Honestly, just a very functional household and I love that.

@lovemeian

oh oof Lavi. I want to say Meian but for reasons I cannot disclose, I won't say that for now. I will say though, that she will be so good with Dabi. Lavi has a few things she needs to work on, and Dabi is always there for her. Actually lbr, they both have issues to work on, but I feel like together, they'd overcome that. I feel like they'd?? Actually be so understanding of each other that it shocks and confuses others bc?? hello it's Dabi?? but yes, a really good match.

@writewithmarites

Me <3

Severus Snape. Ate Tes is chaotic. I'm sorry but her default in the server is chaos, especially with the bot around HAHAHAHA but anyway! Severus would be so good to ground Ate Tes, keep her from getting a little too chaotic BUT ALSO, he can help her when she's not taking care of herself. She also helpes him with his potions, and it makes the job easier on him. But of course, Severus is a slytherin, and most of the time he'd be the one inciting the chaos and we just don't know it. Anyway, Ate Tes is honestly so wonderful and I love her sm and she deserves someone to tame like the serious, bratty, angsty Severus Snape. <333

@saudade-mayari

ME. AGAIN LMAO. <3

ANYWAY

Nozel Silva. Nozel and Ate Sel. Oh gosh what a thought. Nozel is....arrogant, prideful, and he sees himself as someone more important than others. But, the man does know respect and he does care for people, especially Ate Sel. I have no doubts that Ate Sel can make that man kneel and follow her wishes, but I also know that Ate Sel would not let this man get away with his arrogance and pride. Nozel cares for her a lot. She's his partner, the carrier of the future of House Silva, and the only one that has caught his attention. He loves her, and that man would drop nearly everything for her.

@risumu

Eris! Eribabe and Ojiro Aran. Idek why. But the vibes would be so immaculate. I see road trips and early morning dancing in the kitchen to an indie song one of them is hyperfixated on. I also see late night walks to the convenience store, holding hands and just silence? Basking in each other's prescence. Eris definitely steals Aran's sweaters to the point that Aran buys two of his sizes so he can interchange them. One to give to Eris when the one she took doesn't smell like him anymore. Love all over the place.

@sunarent

Mel. That's it.

Okay but also, I see Iwaizumi Hajime. I was thinking about Suna but the more I think back about the things I know about Ali and our interactions, I see Iwa. I feel like they'd understand each other so much. And the love isn't seen much, not because they don't love each other, but because it's something they need to say really. It's more shown in the touches and kisses and cuddling. They know that they love each each other, and that's enough for them.

@tetsvhoe

Honestly I want to say Kuroo but.

Kozume Kenma. Gwennie works so hard and stresses so much. Her sleeping sched is unavailable lmao. Kenma would be so good for her because he knows how it is, to be stressed and not have an actual sleeping sched. I feel like they'd be good together. In all honesty, they'd probably take care of each other more than they would themselves but no one is complaining really.

@slutbench

MY BABYYYY. MY DAUGHTER. I LOVE YOU SM AND I SWEAR I'M NOT MAD.

I ship you with...

Azumane Asahi. Why? Because you remind me of Noya sometimes. Very energetic, a little bit of low moments and just a ball of sunshine in general. Asahi is perfect for you, Mija. He'd be able to just connect with her in ways others just don't understand. People would say that Asahi is too...soft? They'd say someone like Daicho or maybe Bokuto would be better for you, Mija, but really, he's perfect. Asahi and Gil. He balances her out in so many ways, even if no one else can see it.

@ushisrever

NIA!

Ushijima Wakatoshi. Really, the two of them are perfect. Stoic, quiet, can be chaotic. Very protective, even if the two deny it. Nia, you and Ushi are like...pillars? Support? Quiet, unmovable, but still, everyone knows you're both there, and you don't really leave people's minds. I see the two feeding off of each other's energy, especially when it comes to protecting others that they care about. (Looking at you, Lavi) I see hours where it's just her watching him playing in the background and he just looks at her, smiles, and then goes back to playing. It's really cute.

@sumebreaks

MAIA! HI! We haven't interacted much, I'm so sorry for that sweets. bUT BUT BUT!!!!

You're so sweet and caring and loving??? I really see you with Miya Atsumu! I see Tsumu bugging you to take a break and give him attention. BUT! I also see you?? Bugging him, telling him to get off the court or he's sleeping on the couch HAHAHA I feel like you two really just? Connect. Both playful, both caring, both are busy with their own things so there's not too much expectations that cannot be met for now. Idk I really see a love that's always there, no matter how busy they get.

@vindictivtsumu

AAAAAH DEVON HUN!

I love Devon and their writing so much??? Omg. Yknow who would be amazing with them? Akaashi Keiji. Akaashi is very articulate and just overall book smart in my opinion, and I see that him and Devon would fit so well. He is Devon's personal beta reader HAHAHAH BUT!!!!! Devon also watches Akaashi edit and points out anything that he missed. I see days when they're just sitting there, talking softly to each other that the sound of typing was louder. But that's okay bc you both are content and happy and in love.

@ricflairdrip20

I just met you not even 24 hours ago hehehe HIIII

I will not lie.

I asked for help from Ate Sel HAHAHHAHA

But!!!! She says Ukai Keishin, and honestly I see it. The nsfw-rp channel is the reason why and I'm not saying more HAHAHAHA I see nights when it's Keishin and her just? Idk having fun and being kids bc lbr that man can be a kid sometimes. I also see them taking care of each other in unconventional ways, ways that would not be okay for others, but it's her love language with him. V v v domestic.

I HOPE Y'ALL MYTHOS CREW LIKED THAT MATCHING UP BYE

[novanekoma]

☼ 15. come home

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

☼ 15. come home

☼ prev. ☼ masterlist ☼ next

☼ taglist is OPEN: just send me a dm or an ask if you want to be added!

Notes: y/n knew she shouldn’t have, but after talking to bokuto and tsukki, she couldn’t quench the curiosity and looked up Yui’s instagram. Poor girl started crying seeing Yui pressed up to kuroo like that and reading the tweets (which are not showed here) about how much fun she had being in his arms all night long

Notes: the first cracks in y/n’s heart appeared

Notes: y/n cried a lot this weekend, but thank goodness she has the group to lean on, Kiyoko and Suga are very happy with their partners, Daichi and Tanaka are 10/10 husbands and helped take care and cheer y/n up as best as they could

Notes: while he didn’t ask her out, atsumu made it clear to y/n that he’s not going anywhere, he still wants to be her friend and knows that she has things to work out with the rooster head (but he also knows that she does have some sort of feelings for him and his chance isn’t completely gone yet)

Notes: kuroo was told he was staying at bokuto’s for the night, kenma misses y/n and wants her home, but also knows she’s not ready to talk to kuroo at the moment, so he kicked kuroo out. sorry not sorry, kenma’s also pretty pissed at kuroo and is very frustrated by the whole thing 

Notes: kuroo’s not doing so hot right now, and hopefully the gym 3 boys can find out what the actual fuck is going on with him

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

A/N- I changed the title of this 3 times lmao and is significant less angsty then what I had, but the pictures of yui and kuroo were a lot for our poor y/n

I hope you’re ready for the next chapter! I’ll have it up in just a minute!

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Taglist:

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[iampikachuhearmeroar]

yknow while this hellsite continues on the whole religion discussion thing, i’d like to jump in on it with my experience particularly with leaving catholic school.

like aside from my angsty pop-punk/emo etc teen phase (which’ll obvs be weaved into story later on) that led me to have different views from the church and aside from the whole sexism thing that i endured over my year 10 formal/junior prom in 2010 and 2011 from staff there….. i found it within myself incredibly hard to leave there… mostly because i’d known literally 1/3 of my year group at catholic school since kindy/kindergarten or some other point in primary school.

this affected my choice to leave and it was quite tumultuous inwardly. knowing the safety and predictably of the people i was with for all those years was a comfort to me. i knew their parents due to parent mixer bbqs that we’d have after mother’s day and father’s day liturgies- although i hated the mother’s day ones mostly, due to personal reasons. but to leave that comfortable place for overly loyal, kinda sorta shy (although everyone who knew me at that school wouldn’t’ve described me as shy bc i was a very loud show off because of drama class 😅) and by year 10, very lonely, highly socially anxious and depressed, teen me was terrifying. it meant losing her friends and stability and she obvs hated that thought. it meant leaving the one one place she ever felt good at something, drama class.

obviously, after she did leave for public school, she visited the catholic school on a few separate occasions, to try and keep the connection “alive” or whatever the fuck she wrote in a fake deep status on her fb (that i now get in my fb memories every year lmao). but it all ended pretty badly, when everyone from that school stopped talking to her once high school finished. no one invited her out. or if people did try to invite her out, like a couple of people did, it always fell through…. and it made her feel like she was just a bad luck charm or whatever other low self esteem talk she was telling herself. there was quite a few moody statuses around that too lmao.

but yeah. leaving catholic school was a massive thing for me back then, because even though i hadn’t gone to church on sunday for literal Y E A R S at that point; i still had a strong pull to that school because i’d known SO MANY kids at that school from primary/elementary/grade etc school, regardless of their year group level. because if there’s one thing catholic school was good at, it was networking 😂. you knew everyone, and everyone knew you. it was safe, it was sound, so i didn’t want to leave.

but once you leave, you lose your friends and what almost felt like an extended family (although they obvs weren’t). but at the same time, i’d grown to hate the safety and almost insularity of the school, because as i mentioned earlier, you felt like you could predict how people would react or behave in class/events etc.

i felt the above distinctly, because as i’ve mentioned plenty on here, from years 7-10 i was a very emotionally demonstrative kid. in some classes (mostly religion and PE when i was bothered to participate) i’d end up in shouting matches with the teacher or other students…. or y’know just have a casual meltdown in the middle of class, which many people saw as “attention seeking” behaviour. i felt watched, i felt ready to snap, and to quote the ever present All Time Low i felt like the bridge lyrics from “therapy” (which was/is quite obviously somewhat partially about the price of fame and hollywood imo- but that went over teen me’s head at the time lmao):

“arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to, they’re better off without you (better off without you). arrogant boy, cause a scene like you’re supposed to, they’ll fall asleep without you; you’re lucky if your memory remains”

like yes. i’ll admit those bridge lyrics being applied to this time is rather overdramatic, in hindsight, but hey. that was teen me for ya lmao. and don’t even get me started on applying ATL’s song “sick little games” to this at the time as well 😂😅. anyway. from all the “lms and i’ll tell you what i like about you” trend statuses that people were doing back then on fb, i’d gained the tag of “cool/chill girl”, my crush rich boy, once called me “outrageous” because of how loud i was and how willing in years 7-9 to scream out stupid song lyrics like “i want to fuck dog in the ass” by blink 182, fight song by marilyn manson and then idek probably my humps by black eyed peas at the top my lungs through the very few halls that that school had 😂😅. i was being purposely and annoyingly offensive most of the time.

but eventually, once it came to things like one of the girls in my group wanting to run for vice school captain and the other girls in my group A L W A Y S being given leadership positions (LPs)….. while i always had to apparently “repent” my behaviour by being made (in theory from my teachers) to sit alone at lunch because of my “embarrassing” and “unseemly” behaviour at the so-called “training”/ “retreat” days we had for things like being peer support leaders for the new cohort of year 7s etc etc. i felt like everyone was just waiting for me to leave…. and that they couldn’t stand my “embarrassing” presence and that i’d ruin my friends chances of being selected as co-captain or whatever other bullshit LPs they wanted to run for. but still. i felt like i couldn’t leave. just. how do you leave a bunch of people that you’ve known for so long???

and even when my teachers were nice enough to give me a chance in a leadership position once; in that dastardly bullshit internet safety workshop thing that they should’ve literally just hired a professional workshop co. to do….. but to save money they used students in my year group instead. so, instead of being marked by my teachers on this program; i was marked by the catholic education office. they had a lady come in from the ceo to judge/mark us while presenting…… and this lady went off at teen me for “not being professional, responsible and respectful” or whatever the fuck the woman told 15/16yo me…. which teen me then fired back with “i don’t have to be fucking professional and responsible!!!! IM FUCKING 15!!!!”.. so from then on i was never given an LP or any other type of “peer support” role against my friends who were littered with offers for them. mind you, i did call a whole room of 14 year olds “a bunch of cunts” or the like and then stormed out thinking that i’d made a solid point, so the CEO woman had a good reason 😂😅….. again in hindsight.

of course there was also the bitterness of teen me being angry at the english dept for not giving her a spot in the top class of english in her half of the year. but as i’ve said previously on other posts, i’ve forgiven this because i did essentially fail one shakespeare in class assessment in year 8 or year 9 😂. but i strongly felt this during my time at catholic school bc my friends believed that i should’ve been in the top english class too lmao.

but aside from those troubles and foibles, i still found it incredibly hard to leave. to leave the perceived closeness of that group of girls, who would sometimes walk me down to the office and sit with me in “purple room” while i waited for the teacher that had to act as my therapist almost lmao. even though i always told my friends to leave me be and go back to class bc i felt bad about dragging them out of class for so long.

but yeah. with all the above behaviour, the song lyrics to me at the time made sense bc teen me just felt so pressured to fit into the whole “funny, cool, outrageous girl” bs box that people had put her in…. but at the same time she wanted to escape it bc she was just *flyleaf voice* SO SICK of being laughed at instead of laughed with (atl weightless reference here kids) just because… like she DESERVED to be taken seriously for fucks sake, and not a be a “monkey do funny dance” person… she obvs felt this the most in drama class. where in the shakespeare unit, she picked a medley of romeo and juliet and taming of the shrew monologues to do for her monologue. although she nearly did lady macbeth throwing herself off the tower, to be hella edgy…. but she opted not to do that in the end. but she picked serious pieces bc she was sick and tired of being classed as the one trick pony go-to funny person.

okay. this really went off topic. but y’all get the point??? the decision of leaving catholic school was a hell of a ride for little 14-16yo me. it was confusing, terrifying and tied up in years of being overly judged and feeling like people wanted me to leave bc they were sick of me. it was tied up in years of mid-class meltdowns that had become kind of routine for me to have, and that people were just brushing me off as “attention seeking”…. but also ironically waiting for me to snap at any second for another wild shouting match or walkout; which would then make me look like i was “unruly” or “untameable/unmanageable” or whatever the fuck….. but i couldn’t take that anymore, for the final senior years. i HAD to leave it.

again it was hard to leave for loyal little teen me, despite how lonely and isolated she felt. why leave your friends when you’re comfortable??? but also: why stay in this toxic environment where people are just waiting for you to either shut the fuck up and put up with it or just blow up and absolutely lose your shit??? that’s just unhealthy asf. and the only unruly thing that’s happening here is the complete lack of mental health help or management in the aussie education system; but most especially in religious schools.

[iiasha-archived]

Here’s another ask game for ya! Assign your moots as seventeen comeback aesthetics (can include solos, OSTs, collabs, Japanese comebacks, etc) and say why you associate them with that aesthetic! Some can overlap too!

ooo okay.. i’m really bad at these kinds of things but i’ll try my best ❤️ i would have loved to do all my mutuals but my brain isn’t strong enough for everyone so i’m so sorry ahead of time if i didn’t get you!! 😭

edit: also i just realized this said COMEBACK aesthetics but i just did svt. well. anything lmao

@s0ftbb as clap: c just gives me such wonderfully colorful and bright vibes (esp with the use of the colored text lmao it always adds such a nice extra flair to all ur posts <3) and also all her creations and videos give me such HAPPY and LET’S HAVE A GOOD TIME vibes u know what i mean 🥺 and also just that splash of insanity that we all love <3 in particular i’m thinking of that montage scene near the end where there’s like confetti flying everywhere and it’s in slow-mo and stuff lmao

@rosevlolets as fallin flower: alexis gives me super soft and refined and of course flowery vibes! i think it also helps that all her tags for the svt members are literally flowers so it always feels like a cherry blossom breeze every time i see her on the dash or in my notifs <3 (oh gosh i hope that wasn’t TOO cheesy lmao) hehe but yeah i always think flowers when it comes to alexis which is perfect for fallin’ flower

@scoupsy as fear + fearless being the sister song: not because dreamy is intimidating or anything LMAO but i think this association immediately came to mind because of her astounding and beautiful graphics, i feel like they match the fear aesthetic super well. there’s like kind of a dark and elegant atmosphere i always associate with her gfx and in turn her but in like that really beautiful way <3 but ALSO fearless comes in bc i find dreamy’s personality super, well, fearless LMAO and just badass. i really love how she doesn’t hesitate to speak up for herself ❤️

@jonghan as (never-ending) aju nice: GO CRAZY GO STUPID GO WILD LOSE YOU’RE FUCKING SHIT AS WE GO WILD EVEN MORE!! i think yza perfectly encapsulates the never-ending aju nice stage as well as all the crazy antics that come along with it especially as of late LMAO. and again i tend to associate people’s content with their i guess. being? lmao but aju nice is equally as colorful and vibrant as her gifs PLUS she’s so prolific (e.g. never-ending but in the best way) like god damn idk how you keep up with it all afjksldjf

@soonhoonsol​ as healing: idk man chey just gives me very... lmao HEALING vibes :D seeing you on the dash and in my notifs fills me with this very feel-good “ahhh it’s chey!!!” and upbeat feeling hehe <3 and you almost always have such nice tags as well that i read them sometimes and i’m like 🥺🥺🥺 my soul = cleansed. but there’s also this sense of like... i hope this is for the long run you know? LMAO by that what i mean is the whole thing of healing is like DON’T stop this healing right basically i hope you continue to bless the dash for a long time whether it be with your creations or simply good vibes <3

@gotseventeens​ as change up: i don’t really have a reason for this other than vibes? LMAO i’m using vibes all over the place but yeah like for some reason the vibe i get from belle reminds me of the bold colors and suave/cool nature of the change up mv hehe ❤️ i think it’s because belle’s vibes also strike me with this air of confidence that is still kind of chill/lowkey about it lmaooo like YEAH you totally got this ;D

@tzhao12 as 2019 TTT (camping ver.) but specifically when they’re talking about their feelings at the end: because what speaks better about everlasting friendships than the friend i’ve been blessed with for what. is it 12 years now. she’s probably not even gonna see this for like 3 months bc unlike me she escaped tumblr. anyways tiff i’d die for you can’t wait for y’all to jumpscare me this thursday <3 i’m gonna cry i’m serious <3

@vernons as any vocal unit song: oona gives me very soft and gentle vibes which is a lot of what i get from most of vocal unit’s songs! if i had to pick exactly one maybe we gonna make it shine but that’s probably just influenced by me having listened to it recently hehe <3 also a lot of the nature aesthetics and makeup looks i see you post on your main blog feel like they fit in as the visual side of the aesthetic the vocal unit songs give me if that makes any sense??? LMAO

@heartgyus as snap shoot, + the creative process behind it: so in my heart rhys is like a leading mingyu stan here so naturally i had to pick something with mingyu’s entire heart and spirit behind it LMAO but in general rhys vibe and aesthetic gives me SUPER happy/fluffy upbeat like “whoo hoo!” vibes??? afdjklajf a little silly a lot of cute and a lot of fun :D  

@haniehae as pinwheel: for some reason when i think of anna i get this sense of a breath of fresh air??? idek why this is another one i can’t really explain hahaha but yeah pinwheel is what immediately came to mind! i think also because when i see a lot of your moodboards pinwheel kind of naturally comes as like the backtrack for a lot of them??? i think it’s something about the instrumentals of the song. anna just overall also gives me very relaxing vibes whenever i see her on the dash hehe <3

@xuseokgyu​ as when they were filming the 2019 gose intro: okay this is really specific but for some reason that’s what came to mind afjkadslj MY REASONING is that belle just gives me the vibes of being like. super enthusiastic and supportive about EVERYTHING whether it be her own work or the work others are doing!!! also lowkey i get parental vibes from her LMAO so it somehow reminds me of when they were in the house and seungkwan was like “OKAY KIDS... GATHER AROUND...” lmao but in general the whole energy of that entire thing where they were like “okay here’s this thing we’re gonna DO IT” but in a enthusiastic/happy way is why i picked this jfaksldf

@17hateblog as seventeen’s humor: kay and i don’t really talk but she consistently has the funniest fucking tags ever known to mankind. it might not specifically be the same as the humor seventeen show us in, say, gose, but the way they both make me die laughing is the same <3 it doesn’t even matter what the post is everything she puts on her blog is an adventure and i am fucking here for it. AND she’s a jun stan so what’s not to love <3

@vixenjun as light a flame: because kaya and her blog literally embody sexiness + junhui in that choreo....... >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> everything. i also really feel like her aes kind of fits that dark mysterious too-good-for-you beauty vibe that i also get from light a flame lmao (but underneath that kaya is obviously a sweetheart <3)

@happysmilebtr as hitorijanai: anna is just like. genuinely one of the most supportive and happy vibing people i’ve met on here? lmao and i feel bad bc i basically have now left you on read KJFDLAJDS but all our dms have been so much fun like i love just talking about anything <333 but yeah the way you’re so open and loving and supportive 100% gives me hitorijanai vibes and the message behind it :D

[ricksbowen]

this is totally out of character but like imagine angry kisses with joshua. him and reader get really mad at each other for some reason but then he slams her into a wall and they just make out aggressively gripping and tugging I love that

goddess | j.b

IN WHICH: joshua’s jealousy gets a hold of him, but y/n doesn’t mind.

INSPIRATION: maneater (slowed vers.) — nelly furtado, she — harry styles

WARNING: this is the closest thing to smut i’ve written, i think. please read with caution.

A/N: idek if this was a request, but as you could tell i got a little bit carried away lmao. i’m trying to get used to writing more sexual scenes, so fee free to request more sexual stuff so i can practice :))

pt. 1, pt. 2

You had never seen him angrier.

His jaw was clenched, thick brows furrowed as he avoided looking at you. His knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel, a million thoughts racing through his mind as he drove you both home.

It was one night out. One moment where you spoke with a guy, oblivious to the moves he was making on you. You were oblivious to the way his eyes hungrily took in your form, drinking in your beauty as if you were the most refreshing drink. You were oblivious to his stares, the way his eyes lingered a little bit too long on your ass when you walked away.

You were oblivious to Joshua’s glares from across the room as he stood with Matt and Olivia, their hands patting his back as they tried to calm him down.

A part of him felt guilty for being so jealous. But the other guy was staring at you as if you were a piece of meat; he couldn’t help but be mad.

“How was I supposed to know?” you spat out, equally as pissed off as he was. You were mad at yourself for being so blind towards social cues, mad at the guy for even thinking he had the right to make a move on you while you were taken, and mad at Joshua for being so bothered. Your mind was a jumbled mess of anger and tension, your words sharp and curt when you took a jab at Joshua like he was a tiger in a cage.

“The way he was looking at you? His words? Fuck, Y/N, if you couldn’t see it, just how blind are you?” Joshua said, anger dripping with every curt word as he pulled into the parking lot of your shared apartment building.

You stepped out first, slamming the car door loudly behind you as you made your way to the apartment lobby. It was hard stomping away from him in heels, but you made it work as you walked into the lobby and sent a small smile to the security guard that always sat nearby.

You could hear him walking behind you. You pressed the elevator button, eyes never looking away from ahead of you as the elevator doors opened. The ride up was painstakingly long, the tension almost suffocating as you crossed your arms over your chest. The only sound between you both was the elevator gears working outside of the elevator box.

“It wasn’t my fault that I didn’t know.” You took another jab at him, eyes snapping to his face. Joshua’s jaw was sharp, his teeth gritting and muscles tensing at your words.

“You can’t look me in the eye and tell me that he wasn’t all over you,” Joshua scowled, sending you a side glare. The elevator bell rang, and the doors opened. You took the first step out, not wanting to hear more bullshit come out of Joshua’s mouth as you walked to your apartment and took your key out of your purse. You stuck the key in furiously, turning it quickly and opening the door.

You threw your purse onto the couch, letting the black leather jacket — Joshua’s black leather jacket — slip off your shoulders and onto the floor. It revealed the silky red slip-on dress you wore, your skin perfect against the crimson. You kicked your black heels off, feeling your feet relax almost immediately.

You knew he was watching you. You wanted him to watch you.

“I didn’t know he was looking at me like that,” you stated, turning behind you. He was staring at you. Good.

“Who wouldn’t look at you? Have you seen yourself?” It was almost funny how pissed off Joshua sounded while he carelessly complimented you, but that didn’t stop you from firing back with more fervor.

“But it’s not my fault that he was all over me! You know how blind I am to shit like that!” You walked up to him, looking at him with a challenging look as the tension thickened ( if that was possible ). “Besides,” you huffed out, your voice laced with something that felt so impure it was almost sinful. “You know only you can look at me like that.”

That was all it took.

Joshua’s lips slammed against yours, your lips locking in a mix of teeth and tongue as he backed you up against a wall. Lips never separating, his hands gripped your thighs as he lifted you up against the wall effortlessly. You could feel his tongue against yours, as if they were dancing a crude dance between you both. Your hands ran through his hair, tugging it harshly and making him moan obscenely into your mouth.

It was you who pulled away, your teeth catching his bottom lip as you did. You knew it drove Joshua crazy.

Your neck as nudged up, his lips connecting to your neck in a lewd play of teeth and delicious pain. You let out a small moan at the feeling of him biting down on your neck, the pain bringing you nothing but pleasure as you felt him lick over it to soothe the pain.

“Damn right I’m the only one who can look at you like that,” Joshua practically growled, his words so out of character but making you whimper as one of his hands trailed up your dress. Usually, it was you taking charge in the bedroom, always bossing him around and smirking when he begged to touch you, or when his puppy-dog eyes looked at you through his eyelashes as he did sinful things to you. Usually, it was you staring at him with a lustful look, drinking in how submissive he looked with your hand around his throat and pressing down, restricting his airway in a way that made him buck up into you.

This was new. You didn’t mind it.

Joshua’s fingers lightly trailed over your crimson red panties, teasing and slow as his lips sucked a mark right above your breast. Your hand gripped his hair, you hold hard but affecting him in more ways than one.

“Stop teasing,” you scowled, your usually dominating role jumping out of you as you looked him in the eyes. Joshua only smirked, hazel eyes clouded with lust as his fingers pressed against you, making you squirm.

“I’m in charge tonight. Not you, baby girl,” Joshua stated, face close to yours as he started to circle his fingers over you, your panties a barrier between your skin and his fingertips.

“What if I don’t want that?” you managed, your head tilting back and a low moan leaving you when you felt his fingers move tauntingly close to the side of your panties.

“How about,” Joshua began, his fingers pushing your panties aside and making you shiver. “Whoever comes first subs in round 2?” It was almost comical how you had been arguing only moments before.

You sent him a devilish grin, rose red lips curling upwards at his proposition.

“You’re on, baby boy.”

—

A/N: should i make a part 2 that’s just all smut? let me know :) ( update: i made a part two )

TAGS: @tomshufflepuff, @myrandom-fandomlife, @softpeteparker, @sarcarstic-space-weirdo, @allaroundaddict, @cherrydolan