#its so funny how i didnt think twice about the midoteto suicide pact post but THIS
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im gonna yell in the tags just to be safe but i am THINKING
#tw ed mention in the tags >#so fun cater fact#im not formally diagnosed but i mean. do i rlly need to be?#ive had eating problems for basically my whole life?? bc as a dancer and ESPECIALLY as a young afab dancer there were body standards#we know this it sucks#and if youve read like. anything ive ever written you can probably tell i project that into arashi REALLY hard#and now im sitting here ( instead of eating lmao ) feeling soft about#arashi being there. like trying to support me and help me get better. bc shes been there and she doesn't want me to suffer#qnd it hurts her to see me like this#like shell always invite me to eat lunch with her and shell make me something and wven if its not much its better than what id usually have#( nothing )#bc at the very least knowing its from her for me specifically would make it just a little easier#and thinking about how if i asked her to give the cal count for each thing in what she made me she would#bc if i dont know then ill straight up refuse to eat it or ill try to overcompensate cuz i dont know how much it was#and she doesnt want ne to harm myself any more than i already have#f/oposting#its so funny how i didnt think twice about the midoteto suicide pact post but THIS#THIS needs to be out of immediate view#idek if this counts as gush#⚜️
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