#idek how to explain it other than those times when

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

Ugh why do my hands feel so bad

[throwawayhero]

could you give more hcs or a drabble about bakugou with a crush on reader!! pls i feel like ur fics are the closest ive seen to canon... i need more

No problem, and thanks! I try to make them seem canon, but sometimes it's difficult T-T. Just realising now that a few of these sound stalker-y and I'm sorta regretting writing this but oh well. I hope this is satisfactory!! c/w; social media au, buzzfeed, eminem (idek), karaoke, not proof read

!Katsuki who unintentionally catches himself playing with his hair while talking to you. Not in an obvious way (that's what he thinks at least), but more so absentmindedly fiddling with his side burns and such. It's kinda funny when he accidentally curls them and leaves them like that for a while. He also has a habit of playing with his baby hairs on the back of his neck.

!Katsuki who "accidentally" managed to copy your handwriting style down stroke for stroke? He doesn't really know how it happened, to be honest. He just noticed it one day during a group project after Jirou pointed it out to the two of you. You found it funny, but he found it outrageous and claimed that you had been the one to copy his handwriting.

!Katsuki who allowed you to tag along on one of Kirishima's and his study sessions. He beat the shit out of Eijirou and was gentle with you, more or less. He wouldn't hit you of course, but he certainly wasn't scared to yell. At least the first time. The look you gave him made him writhe with guilt, so he shut the fuck up out of embarrassment.

!Katsuki who heard you talking about a band you loved and decided it was his god given right to go through their whole discography and criticise it in his own time. But turns out, you have good taste, so he keeps to himself about it. "Accidentally" bought a spare ticket to their next concert and offered the spot to you. No big deal, right?

!Katsuki who did extensive searching for your socials, scrolling through his friends friends following, mutuals, and genuinely just word of mouth. When he did find your accounts, he stalked the SHIT out of them. When you requested to follow him, he freaked out and accepted straight away. He didn't follow you back until a week later, "just to be safe".

!Katsuki who unironically took one of those "Do I have a crush on my friend?" quizzes when he started to feel things towards you. 100% went down a rabbit hole on buzzfeed. He wanted to call his "crush" ANYTHING other than what it was. Mentioned it to Kirishima once and was left even ore confused than what he had originally been.

Unrelated but he just looks like he would listen to Eminem. Probably gets a good chuckle out of the whole "You gonna cancel me, yeah? Gen Z me brah?!" thing. Don't ask me to explain why I think this, it just makes sense.

!Katsuki who more often than not is watching you out of the corner of his eye. Not in an overly-creepy way, he's just "aware of his surroundings". He says that to anyone that mentions it, which is literally just his paranoia.

!Katsuki who secretly loved the fact that you hung out with him and his friends almost daily. Because then he wouldn't have to initiate hangouts and look as desperate as he really was. It gave him a plausible excuse to absorb every single opinion you uttered. It gave him an excuse to get even closer to you.

!Katsuki who freaked the FUCK out when everyone (besides the two of you) got sick and couldn't do the bi-weekly hangout everyone had played a part in organising. The group had settled on doing karaoke, so you can imagine how it went down with just the two of you there. Although, the two of you did make an amazing duet. (No one was really sick, Mina just mentioned Katsuki's behaviour and put 2 and 2 together. She also wanted to see if he would take initiative for once.)

!Katsuki who went out of his way to make changes to his hero costume that he knew you would like. Small details here and there, for both style and practicality. While it was cold he would use the neck warmer to hide the smirk that creeped onto his face when he saw you checking out his new look. He also started to make himself look nicer in general, indulging in a bit of jewellery (stud earrings, a ring or two, and a silver necklace), nicer shoes, wearing the uniform properly and such.

!Katsuki who has your number pinned in his contacts, as well as giving you your own message & ring tone sound. He has everyone but you, Kirishima, and his parents on silenced. He also has your contact saved as a nickname he assigned you without you knowing with a heart emoji. It's simple, but endearing.

[drdemonprince]

Your post about "transitioning to escape gender but then there's more gender" has been rotating furiously in my mind since I saw it. When I first realized I was trans at age 15, I identified as agender, but I knew I wanted to go on T and get top surgery so I decided it would be simpler to tell everyone I was a trans man and that just kind of became the truth. Now 10 years later I'm sorta starting to feel like I wanna actually be agender again, but the idea of an identity shift like that at my current age is terrifying and idek who I'd tell, or how I'd do it, and I don't think I wanna stop using he/him exclusively, and I have no idea why I'm telling *you* this other than that I'm scared to talk to anyone I know about it because it feels like somehow admitting that I was wrong about the gender I fought like hell to become, even though i don't really think that's the case I think my sense of self might just be continuously evolving... but I just wanna say you talking about having a gender shift like once every several years is helping me process this rn and feel like I'm not faking anything now AND wasn't faking anything before.

Dog i am right there with you. As a kid I always thought gender was bullshit, the coercive nature of it disgusted and scared me and I rebelled against it the best that I could. I loathed being assigned to any gender category, I never identified as a "girl", but I didn't really identify with any other category either. Puberty terrified me (and of course, it does most young people, but it felt like it would only more deeply entrench the category that I was assigned to in other people's minds, it made it more difficult to escape). I had trans friends as a teen but it did not occur to me to transition because there was really no end goal that I wanted to head toward, I just knew what I wanted to avoid and not experience. I coped mostly by degendering my body with a fairly androgynous style and way of presenting myself to the word and mannerisms, but also by starving myself which was not so great, and not sustainable. I considered transness for myself, even trying on a friend's binder and presenting masculinely at certain queer events, but it seemed to me at the time like just another way in which to obsess over gender, a foolish coercive socially constructed thing that i was trying to avoid.

In my 20s, I learned more about nonbinary people and figured that explained things pretty well. I was enamored with the transition journeys of some other trans people, largely trans women more than trans masculine ones (with some trans-effeminate faggot boy exceptions), but I still didn't want to take on all the expense and uncertainty and hassle of navigating the medical system for myself. I didn't think that the pursuit of being happy merited taking on so many risks or fiddling with myself so much. I saw it as an extravagance I didn't deserve, I guess, and I also couldn't locate a target outcome that seemed desirable enough for me. I was still dealing with an eating disorder and recovering from some trauma and didn't really think about my life in the long term. I guess I still don't, haha, whoops.

Eventually I came out as nonbinary, and nobody really gave a shit. There is a lot of useless, solidarity-breaking discourse that happens online about essentially who is "more" oppressed, binary trans people or nonbinary people, and a lot of that fight amounts to the two groups shouting about the ways in which they annoy one another without there being any cogent analysis of power and where oppression comes from (let alone how much those two categories overlap).

But I will say that being a they/them was far more difficult than being a trans guy socially and institutionally, because your identity is completely illegible to every system around you. "binary" trans people struggle under this too, but i have found there are some immense benefits to having a socially and institutionally legible target gender. nobody would fucking actually they/them me. not anyone. not even other trans people and queer people. there were no public gendered spaces for me. there were no spaces for me. there was no way to move through the medical system, professional life, and other public institutions as a nonbinary person. i was still just a cis woman in everyone's eyes. including the people who claimed to support me. and it was massively frustrating.

and so i think ultimately, i took my frustrations with not being at all able to escape coerced gendering as a nonbinary person and combined that with the affinity i do feel for queer men and the general sense of misery i was still experiencing in my life and decided what the hell, i'll round myself up to being a trans guy. i upped my T dose, i dressed more masculinely, i eventually got a super masculine hair cut that really squared off my jawline and got me gendered correctly, and i started more consciously inhabiting queer men's spaces.

and it was pretty dope. for a while. i felt the rush of having gotten away with something. when people effortlessly gendered as male i felt freed at last from the pressure to be a woman. i was no longer being coerced into being something that i was not. i had escaped the enforced category so much that people couldn't even see the history of that category being pushed onto me. there was relief.

but then. as always happens. people made little comments about my handshake being too weak for a man. the hypermasc dudes at the leather bar rolled their eyes at me and all the other effeminate dudes swanning around the bar. the people who picked me up off the apps or at the sauna would always let it slip, eventually, that they had a lot of experience with trans guys, or had most recently been dating all trans guys, and it would make me feel like a stock character to them, yet another category into which all kinds of assumptions had been projected. a type not a person. a few people said my haircut made me look like i was in the military or described me as actually masculine, which was equally jarring because it was so incorrect. people tried to affirm me by saying i was such a dude, i was such a man, i was such a fag, i was such a gay bro, pawing all over me leaving the mark of all their assumptions and oversimplifications behind. i had tried to run away from gender and there i was just BASTING all the time in everybody's goddamn assumptions about gender. trans people didn't talk about it any less than cis people did, they were just as fucking confining to be around.

it honestly feels really dirty. when people try to affirm your gender constantly and can't stop talking about it, when people look past you and see only your body, your history, or the role they have typecast you in, when people use your body as an outlet for their own gender or sexuality explorations, when they keep trying to measure every single facet of existence up into being masculine or being feminine or being toppy or bottomy or any other gendered type, it's claustrophobic.

as a trans man i tried playing this whole gender game and the second i started winning i began to feel even more disgusted with myself. it wasn't a victory or an escape, it was a capitulation. exploring with my identity and presentation has brought positive things into my life and my health has gotten better as a result, and i've made wonderful friends who, like me, are disaffected by this coercive gendering system. so i don't regret any of that. but trying to make myself legible under the existing gendered system was a fool's fucking errand. i wish i hadnt done it to myself and i wish i hadnt had it pushed onto me. to be clear, it was cissexist, binarist society that forced it onto me; even when other queer people coated me in their gendered assumptions that is obviously a byproduct of societal conditioning, and it's conditioning that ive reinforced in my own behavior and outlook toward others plenty of times too. we all do it, and we are all wronged by the existing coercive gender system.

i dont even care how i fucking identify anymore and i have no intention of changing pronouns again or anything, i'm so bored of it, i just actually want off this fucking thing. im not interested in trying to make others understand what i am anymore or in who i am even being simply categorizable, i dont want to obsess anymore over how i am perceived or to attempt engineer my appearance and mannerisms to broadcast an identity to anyone. i dont even want to fuck anybody right now at all because im so sick of how much that's a gender pantomime for people. i want off this fuckin ride man im so done.

it's kind of freeing, to hit this point of complete gender apathy, and i think it is a pretty common stage of identity development for a lot of queer people who have explored multiple identities and roles over time. there is no category that i actually am, or that anyone is, there are just the frameworks that society has given us to work with to understand ourselves, and the ways in which we flatten who we are to be able to make sense of the world using those frameworks. but who i actually am is so much more contextual and mutable than all that. i am a different person in the classroom than i am on the train platform than i am in the bedroom than i am cuddling on the couch than i am when i'm working out than i am when curled up on the floor crying than i am at a big furry convention. who i am continues to change as new people come in and out of my life and age and change and my body alters and as the weather turns. who fuckin knows man it's nothing and everything. i want to let it just be

[lemonqii]

How the ghosts feel about theme parks (courtesy of me visiting one again after like 5 years)

Elias: only there for the food and pictures of his sons. Will complain about the price of hotdogs and lemonade ("$5?! I could make a better hotdog at home for free!" Nags the boys about it but buys em both a hotdog anyway. Will 100% end up buying hotdogs for the rest of the Ghost's too.) doesn't really go on the rides ("I've had enough excitement for a lifetime") but is willing to go on the Ferris wheel. Definitely took mama walker (or you can pretend it's y'all, I don't judge...) on dates to theme parks and go up together with them swirly ice creams and point out the sights.

Hesh: was a little hellspawn as a teenager when it came to theme parks. Always coaxed Elias into letting him drag Logan with him onto the scariest rides. (Still believe that them climbing the Ferris wheel is canon). Personally don't think he'd be very into buying any merchandise/souvenirs. Definitely more of an "I'm here for the rides and the rides only" typa guy.

Logan: as much as I don't think Logan particularly minded going on the scary rides, as he ain't really scared of heights, I like to imagine that he was a short kid and didn't have a growth spurt til he was around 17. Which meant in order to get onto the rides they had to have him wear insoles or else he wouldn't be tall enough for the requirements. Definitely likes the ride that goes all the way up and just plunges down (No clue what it's called). Unlike Hesh he definitely likes to collect plushies (Is limited to one per visit. Would buy all of them if he could).

Merrick: only really likes the teacup ride. Probably the only ride he will go on the entire day. Rest of the time he spends babysitting the ghosts (Elias may have their best intentions at heart but the man can't control em as well as Merrick can). I feel like he likes looking around and seeing all the other families and comparing it to what he has with the ghosts (“our Logan is way better behaved than that kid..”).. Despite never having kids of his own, he’s definitely taken the ghosts under his wing. Will only buy himself a beer, but won’t say to Elias buying him a hotdog. Refuses to go on any of the fast rides, uses the excuse that he’s carrying all the bags of merch that Logan buys.

Keegan: this man LIVES for the extreme rides. He competes with Ajax and Hesh on who will look most nonchalant in the replay (He always wins). Definitely one of those adrenaline junkies who tries out every ride. Hesh is the only one who can keep up with him, so the two generally split off from the rest of the group and go together. Also a sucker for the hotdogs.

Ajax: unlike the other two who take the whole “posing” competition very seriously, he’s more so there just to hang out with his friends. Going off the hc that he watches nature documentaries, I think he’d be real into those relaxing train rides where it’s like they���re going through a safari and explains what and how everything works (sfx are a must. Otherwise he will complain that it’s not an immersive enough experience).

Kick: those space/ocean inspired rides? Chefs kiss. Loves em. Considering how good he is with tech and I can’t help but imagine that he knows some stuff when it comes to the physics of the theme park rides. Will nag your ear off about how certain rides aren’t “up to code” (if it’s creaking too much it ain’t up to code). Isn’t really into the super fast rides, likes to look around and really see how the rides work.

Rorke: honestly? Idek where to start with this man.. pre fed Rorke was probably a sucker for those tall stripper pole reminiscent towers that go up and then down real fast. Likes the adrenaline, but really he enjoys looking over the landscape. -> especially if they're somewhere in America. He doesn't really get a chance to travel around the country since they're always so busy with missions, and being able to take in the whole view of his home is something he really enjoys. Fed Rorke on the other hand doesn't like theme parks all that much at all. Definitely feels like it doesn't suit a leader like him to be going on rides like a little kid. (Will still go on the scariest one just once to prove he's man enough.)

This is all I could think of for now I love these silly critters sm ෆ⁠╹⁠ ⁠.̮⁠ ⁠╹⁠ෆ

[girlgrouptrash101]

Karina (Aespa) as Your Girlfriend

Requests:

"aespa’s karina as your gf please?"

"Can you do Karina from aespa as a girlfriend please?"

"I would like to request Aespa Karina as your girlfriend 😍"

"hi!! i hope your having a great day and i hope your doing well, can i request aespa’s karina as your gf? thank you~"

"Hello! Can I please request Aespa’s Karina as your girlfriend? Thank you!"

A/N: cannot believe it has been over 2 years since I've written anything lol. so here's a lil something to try get the creative juices flowing again wOO 🤭

- C

when 99% of the relationship is you just staring at karina and wondering how someone can be that beautiful. as you SHOULD

idk why but i feel like karina is the perfect person for the trope where she would make a habit of going to the same coffee shop every day even though she hates coffee,, just because you were the cute barista that worked there

despite her cool and composed aura, she unfortunately had no idea how to talk to you outside of ordering a drink; her brain would just fizzle out whenever she tried to strike up further conversation 🥲

so you had to be the one to take the first step, which took a hot minute because perhaps. miss yoo jimin had a sliiiiiightly threatening aura at first (you quickly learned she was really just a cutie patootie behind that stoic face she tended to wear. teehee)

after gaining enough courage, you ended up asking her out for coffee because you thought hm,, she comes here every day for coffee she must love it!

safe to say it was a little surprising when she responded with a very embarrassed "...i don't even like coffee"

with the tips of her ears flushing red as she had to explain her reasoning behind coming in every day

you decided instead to take her to the carnival that came to town every summer

[insert cliche top of the ferris wheel kiss here]

and every summer since then you've always gone to the carnival together, the two of you running around to go on all the rides like little kids, never getting tired of it even though you do the same thing every time it comes

she's the kind of girl to be super head over heels for you but never admit it until those times where you lay side by side in bed at night, your eyes doing your best to see each other's silhouettes in the dark

her hand coming up to rest on your cheek, thumb gently caressing your face as she reminds you of how much you mean to her

but don't bring it up the morning after unless you wanna get hit with the "idek what you're talking about i would never be so sappy 🤨"

fit checks!!!

refuses to leave the house in said fit unless you send a paragraph in all caps hyping her tf up (it's just what she deserves!)

queen of soft launching your relationship on social media 🥹

like IG stories of flowers you gave her, or your hands intertwined, but nothing too much more than that

because it's her relationship and she doesn't need the world to know about every little thing you two get up to,, that's for her to know and her only

well......... her and the aespa girlies who can't help but smile every time their leader comes home and launches herself face first into her pillow, gushing over how much she likes you and how nice your date was

(which she will NEVER admit happens. she's no softie, okay? okay. yes she is hehehehe)

ningning stealing karina's phone at the dorm and blowing your phone up with memes n sending off guard pics of Karina lol <3

Loves going for walks in the park nearby, no matter the weather or time, especially if there's something on her mind and she just wants to get some fresh air and chat it out with you

lives in your hoodies whether you like it or not, you have no choice cuz girlie just treats your wardrobe as hers

never brings PJs when she's staying at yours as an excuse for you to lend her even more clothes

brings a film camera everywhere,, her favourite thing is when the film fills up and she gets the pictures developed so she can bring them back to you and you can look back over the memories shared together

scrapbooking together !!! will even spend hours in the stationary shop looking for the perfect pen/washi tape to use for it hehe.

Can't stand it but also loves it when you compliment her as often as you do

(but it hurts ur heart a little when you feel she doesn't believe what you say is true, you wish she could feel the same love she has for you for herself too :[ )

so you pledge to always be there to lift her up and be her #1 fan!! in both day to day life and as a My of course

which meanssss first row seats to all the aespa concerts, practice nights, just generally supporting her through thick and thin, and she will no doubt do the same for you!

and that one day you came to an aespa fansign to surprise her 🥹 she had to hold back all the affection she wanted to give you :((((

gaming nights 🤓 and by gaming i mean gardenscapes....... god she's such a lil nerd

anime nights 🤓 her getting all excited when her faves come on screen, smacking you on the leg repeatedly with joy while she explains what's going on (because as much as you enjoy sitting down to watch her favourite shows w her, you really didn't understand half of it LOL)

loooooves late night arcade dates

especially so she can win plushies in the claw machines,,, or rather, you can win them for her (so chivalrous 😁)

her love for claw machine plushies gets so bad that your bed now has a mountain of them stacked up that you have to throw off before bed everyyyyy night omg

not to change the subject but like. Karina's morning cuddles 🥹

or for the mornings where you wake up late, your eyes opening to the sound of her padding back into the bedroom to check on you, a smile creeping onto your face as you feel the bed sink where she sits by your side

and when she leans over to kiss your forehead, her gorgeous locks framing her face while her cute glasses slip down her nose 🥹🥹🥹 IM GONNA CRY

tldr; the softest girl that just wants to be loved the way she loves you 😔

[withonly-sweetheart]

Threads of Carmine Red

They split your heart into two and the sticky sweet threads that hang between them only bring you closer to your doom. Can you every truly choose your fate? Or will it always be in their silky hands...?

a/n: ok erm so uh like well uh <- thats it. bye! characters are more expanded on in the endings because i cant do shit for shit. i fear.

heh now its time for credits

@candlekiss - MARI WHY'D YOU INSPIRE LIKE ALL OF THESE <3 but it was ur study of the scrapped character design of re8 ada that inspired this wildly massively changed sequence of events. LOVE YOU EITHER WAY POOKIE <3

@pxs-onthehunt - sorry for tagging you but your ada vampire art actually had me tweaking so hard... its kinda what inspired ada's personality throughout this... uh... thank you for your service <3

@vampiricgf <- kita tysm for helping with the atmosphere im still mindblown how your small piece of advice came SUCH a long way and i hope i've conveyed this right (probably havent sigh)

@eyesofsix - ur uhm aeon vampire art... harshi sent that to me because she was freaking out over it and i saw it and also freaked out and we danced in a freaking out circle together. your art is bringing people closer (together). <- stop the freaky jokes need to stop. BUT

(psst. if i didnt mention u in this one artist moots TRUST you're definitely in one of the other three.)

tw: descriptions of blood? ig? idfk something like that and then idek what this is man you just gotta read it ig (can you tell im off today THE OPPS HAVE WON SADLY)

wc: 2.2k

You don’t know where you’re going, but you do know that her eyes are following you. Tracking you, searing your back with their presence, origin unknown. You can confirm it is indeed a “her” watching you when that sultry voice finally appears from the shadows.

“Are you lost, little girl?” she muses, confident in a way you can’t quite explain. You try your best to be bold and lift your chin, surveying your surroundings in an unfavorable attempt to find her. “Ah, you won’t see me unless I want you to.”

“Do you know where I am?” you demand. “Can you get me out of here?”

“Ouch.” You can imagine a pout, yet no face to place it with. A simple expression with no master behind it, crimson lips twisted down. “Leaving so soon?”

“Yes,” you grit out. “I need to get back. Where the hell am I?”

“Can’t you tell?”

You glare out into the retreating light that only seems to twitch from your grasp as you near. A fretful game of tag that’ll never end, you fear. With a frown puckering your eyebrows, you glance upward, yet no flash of lightning comes through the night-ridden windows, useless in your pursuit. Only a flash of white-hot fear that surges through your blood.

A door creaks open somewhere to your left. You know better than to trust mysterious voices from the dark, but guidance is scarce in a place like this. At least you assume your location to be applicable to those terms, foolishly, perhaps.

“Go ahead,” she coaxes softly. “I’m simply helping you.”

Perhaps if there were light, you could’ve seen that she was trailing you the entire time, never more than a few steps away, itching to get her hands on you yet shoving that instinct into a box in her mind, a box known as patience.

You might’ve also noticed the pointed edges of her teeth when she grins as you stupidly stumble into the door, feeling around for the knob, and she waits with her hands clasped behind her back before you trip past something into the room.

And you miss her silently closing the door behind you.

There’s light in this room, thankfully, a dim light that only sparks to life after you take another few steps. A lantern tosses shadows in your face, painting the room in dramatic proportions, making the small area seem larger than life.

“Hello?” you call out, timidly. “Is anyone there?”

You shut your mouth immediately as soon as there’s yet another high pitched squeal from the floorboards, unable to support your weight as well as you’d like, and something splinters behind you. 

Spinning around to find nothing there throws you off balance, and you manage to get your foot stuck in the broken wood. You make the mistake of reaching down, kneeling and pawing at your foot, which leaves you with minor scratches on your now free foot.

It comes with the cost of blood welling up, tears of your skin gushing from a painful gash that somehow goes unnoticed in the first few seconds of shock before you scream. Then you slam your uninjured hand back over your mouth, trying not to scowl at yourself, biting at the knuckle in a silly attempt to cancel out the pain.

It doesn’t work. If anything, it seems your efforts have all been in vain. A weak kick is delivered to your neck, and you sway to the side lightly. There’s an unimpressed growl from behind you, just before something strikes the same area at least ten times harder, and your vision goes dark, fading from your sideways slant of the room.

<><><><>

“Stop moving,” a voice hums in your ear. It seems too sudden for you, jerking back to life like a monster, flailing and thrashing your limbs. You’re bound with something, rope, maybe, but the state of panic sends adrenaline rushing to your head.

“It’s like she does the opposite of whatever you say,” that same sultry voice remarks, albeit from a distance, which doesn’t scare you as much as the presence looming over your shoulder.

“Relax,” it muses, too quiet to determine whether it’s male or female, too subtle to know the differences. Your calf burns, as if your wound has magically gotten larger, spreading over the expanse of bare skin where your pants are rolled up.

You blink and still at the feather light touch of calloused fingertips tracing up your arm, drawing the silhouette of your body, yet the feeling is almost… otherworldly.

“What…” you sputter, an unwelcome shudder rippling through your body. “What are you?”

“What are you,” the woman combats, “if not a creature of Earth?”

They remain pure voices, the harmony of male and female in perfect vocals that may as well be songs themselves, yet the pure chill of fear thrums alongside your searing blood, at every subtle touch unwillingly placed onto your skin.

“Just let me go, please,” you plead, just short of convincing. A string inside you unravels, tugging you back towards them, an unprecedented attraction that could try to coil back up, spin back into a shape in your body, but it reaches for them.

You imagine a well trimmed finger, sharp nails glinting in the darkness, source of light unknown, curling around that thread, a leash for a disobedient dog.

“Aren’t you just that?” she muses. “A sweet little puppy? A human plaything for the society that has existed long before you were even a thought in your ancestors’ flimsy minds. They were no smarter than you, it seems.”

You nod in compliance, feeling yourself slip further and further away, stretching your legs in an attempt to swim through the murky liquid you feel yourself sinking into, trying to reach for the glowing spool, the source of all your turmoil, but it fades within the violent waves.

“She will suffice,” another voice huffs out, the one with the ghastly touch. “Prepare her.”

“Why should it be me?” she scoffs. “You’ve gotten your hands dirty, do it yourself.”

Uh oh. Looks like Mom and Dad are fighting.

<><><><>

The next time you find yourself, it takes what seems like hours to trudge through the inky, vast darkness threatening to swallow you whole. But you see your soul sparkling, woven in as gems of memories within the thin line, glowing so intensely you fear you might burn yourself upon touching it.

But your fingers graze the raised material and you immediately sit upright, eyes blown open as you force yourself to take steady breaths, trying to readjust to the feeling of being in control of your own body.

What had really happened back there? She was the puppeteer to your mindless actions, unable to change the course of events from your glass bubble, restricting your air, trying to erase all evidence of you. You wonder who the mysterious, sultry woman is.

“Thank you.” The same voice calls out, this time from the only patch of darkness available in the well-lit room, morning sun casting warmth onto your cheek as you crane your neck up to catch a glance of the woman.

Narrow eyes peer back at you, and the light in the room shifts quickly enough for you to acknowledge her eerily pale skin, tinted lips the only pop of color in her otherwise drab outfit, a black cloak with crimson accents splashed here and there.

Only when she drops from the ceiling do you realize that they aren’t accents at all. Splotches of dried blood, you see more closely as she approaches, and you scramble back on the mattress you’ve been placed on, only to have your back meet the wall in a most unpleasant manner.

“Don’t worry,” she says with a chuckle. “I won’t hurt you.”

You resist the urge to furrow your eyebrows, fearing that she might take it as a sign of disrespect and pounce. How often do you see vampires? Trick question, the answer is never. You’re not prepared in the slightest, yet you can’t deny the awe that quickly fills you.

Awe at her appearance. If you hadn’t seen the blood, you wouldn’t have even begun to suspect she’s a blood sucking demon, and even now you find yourself doubting the very idea. How could someone so nice be evil?

“I… apologize if I came off strange earlier,” she says with a smile that curves her teeth, and you fight to discern her teeth from her fangs, almost undetectable if you weren’t hanging off your seat and biting your nails in anticipation of them. “You must understand our hesitations to accept a new member.”

“A… new… member?” You test out each word slower than the last, and you feel like you’re back in primary school with a teacher, bless her, patient enough to guide you through it.

“It’s been millennia since a human has met our qualifications. When Leon scouted you, I knew-”

“Leon?” you interrupt. Irritation sparks in her eyes, previously warm, melted honey freezing up quickly. “He’s the guy who was following me here!”

“Yes, but-”

“And he was the one who tied me up!” you say with a gasp. “So who are you?”

“It looks like you’re more interested in talking than listening.” The woman - or should you say vampire? -  curls her lip and you can’t tell if it’s in distaste or carefully placed amusement. It feels like you’re tiptoeing on ice, cracks reverberating through the room, devastating enough to bring the entire building down.

“Sorry.”

“Hm.” She lifts her nose, somewhat haughtily. “You’re quite gullible, aren’t you?”

“Better fix that soon, ma’am,” a voice replied sarcastically from the doorway. Ada shifts her figure so you can see who, but of course, their identity becomes quickly hidden with the light playing on their face, shadows from their cloak hood dapping the planes of their face.

“I’d think twice about talking down to me, Leon,” she replies suavely, a smile coaxing her lips into emotion. “She already knows.”

You swear you can hear his teeth gnash against each other. “That was my job, Ada.”

“Your one job,” she teases, eyes flitting down to you with a subtle wink before turning to face him with an all too important look, “and I beat you to it.”

“Ada,” you test out quietly. Even the name sounds foreign, a medley of arcane qualities and inscrutable judgment. 

"Tell me then," Leon says in a low voice, stepping further into the room. You press back into the plush mattress, sensing the tension mounting between them. "What exactly have you told our guest?" 

"Only that which she deserves to know," Ada replies coyly.

"Which is?"

She levels him an unimpressed stare. "Patience. All will be explained in due time." 

Leon shoots you a glance, lips thin. "How have you found our hospitality so far? Comfortable?"

You nod hesitantly, eyeing the door behind him. "Very kind of you all, though the circumstances of my arrival were... unconventional."

Ada offers a soft chuckle. "Leon lacks finesse, perhaps true. But fear not - harm will not come to you here." Her reassurance does little to do any of its intended purpose. Part of you longs to trust her gentle words and curious gaze, yet Leon's wariness makes you wonder what other truths lie beneath the surface. 

"I understand you must have questions," Ada continues. "Please, ask what you will. An open exchange benefits us all."

You hesitate, darting knowing looks between them. Leon's intense glare conveys he wishes to avoid certain subjects.

"If I may... what exactly are you going to do to me?"

Ada’s enigmatic smile vanishes. Leon scoffs.

“I thought you informed her of her purpose, Ada,” he says, her name coming out of his mouth laced with venom, the same that swirls through your mind as their gazes bore into your mind.

And for the first time since you’ve seen him, Leon grins.

“You are going to become one of us.”

You blink, the words becoming garbled with all the background noise fresh in your mind, coarse tongue lead weight in your mouth, running your teeth over chapped lips.

“And now, we play a little game,” Ada says, although reluctantly, as if suddenly her eagerness has been replaced with the grim truth. “You must pick.”

“Pick… what?”

“One of us,” Leon says, stepping forward. “One of us will grant you freedom; you’ll wake up safe in your home, with no recollection of this incident.”

“Yet the other will lead you to our cause, the same fate that befell us.” Ada’s face has gone stony, giving no hints of which path she leads. “You will join us. This is less of a game, and more a test of your judgment. Choose wisely.”

They unfurl their hands like broken angels, reaching down from you in an inverted version of heaven, more reaching up from hell, but you can’t say that, now can you? Neither of them are trustworthy enough, so you quickly make a decision. 

And you reach for…

ADA?

or

LEON?

[libra-stellium]

Pluto 11H Transit - Personal Observation

As Pluto's been hanging around the last degree of Capricorn I've been feeling so unsatisfied in my friendships and my goals lol a weird feeling like it's not bad but like....it's off and not really what I want.

The other day someone asked me if I had any goals for this year and I said no bc I did not write out goals and I haven't for 2 years! The goals I made 5 years ago that I really wanted didn't happen and I got tired of re adding them to my goals for the new year so I just stopped altogether lmfao but partly because as the years went by I got more like "idek what I want!!!" about them!

With friendships I've been realizing that I don't have friends in my immediate environment that share my more exciting interests. Astro for example Idk anyone in person that knows more than just the basic like their big 3 and how to look up their chart and some people are even against it for "witchcraft" lol and other exciting interests I have are creative and I've been calling it excitement blue balls lmfao when I get super excited about something and I show my friends and they just don't get it at all or they get it after I explain but it's just not exciting for them so they can't match my excitement lol and it's so disappointing! The other day I was looking up pluto 11H natally and it was talking about how someone with this placement can be a loner and that's accurate for the transit too! I find myself doing things alone a lot bc I'm the "host" of my group of friends and they are all part of different groups (family or friends) but for me this is my one group so when they are doing things with their other groups I'm literally alone lol so the thought of "i want different/more friends!" is in my head a lot!

Ready to leave this transit behind! But first let's look back omg

(Description from Planets in Transit - Robert Hand)

Period of great changes in your long range goals and your hopes for the future

This transit started in 7th grade for me and now I'm 29 lmao so yeah things have definitely changed! But I think that's around the time I started seriously saying I wanted to be a lawyer and in early high school I did these summer camp things for legal justice. I'm a lawyer now and it's like yay......I guess lmfaooo idk like it pays my bills I can't complain! However for the last 2 years I've been wanting to get a different job and nothing I've seen has looked exciting and I'm like maybe it's bc I'm not looking up what I want but what do I want?? idk!

The kinds of people you have as friends will change

This has definitely been true because this transit started a year ish after I came to the US and that's when my fam told me that it wasn't temporary so all my friendships from Haiti that I had just kind of died overnight bc it was hard back then to communicate internationally and I was also 11 lol and my fam does not value friendships so no one even cared! Those friends and I were definitely like the "it" group of elementary school lol but the friends I made in middle school were different bc we just minded our business and entertained ourselves! Then in high school my friend group changed again bc I was in IB classes so the people I was around were different and I had to be a lot more social and I stopped seeing my middle school friends around. Then in college I was on a caribbean dance team and that's who I was around and they were all black bc caribbean which was so different from my friends throughout middle and high school. It was interesting bc going in I thought I would have been more like them bc i am caribbean but I was still different bc I grew up in haiti and they grew up here lol Then in law school I went to an HBCU and the vibes were off for me bc so much elitism so I only stuck to a couple people and minded my business lol

Activities that you once enjoyed may no longer appeal to you now

I can't remember for the entire transit but recently that's why I've been like eh about my friendships bc the stuff that they want to do I used to want but now I don't anymore so I go more to hang out with them instead of bc I want to do whatever it is lol this halloween season for example I wanted to do this bar crawl and this party on saturday and everyone bailed so I ended up skipping the bar crawl and going to the party alone and like I had a great time!! I was in the front by the DJ and I know i'm gonna be in their promo pictures lmao but then there's another party on halloween that I'm going to and I didn't even really want to do it I wanted to do this boat party but again no one wanted to do that so lol

You will be looking for quite a different kind of friendship than you have had in the past. Now you seek out people who will provide very intense encounters because you are seeking to confront new dimensions of yourself through them

Real af bc I was just saying the other day how I want more nurturing and caring and intimate friendships! I also find meeting people who are eccentric exciting because I'm literally studying them lol especially if i know their astro placements I'm like mm i know why!

One friendship in particular may change your life at this time. You may meet someone who affects you so strongly that the entire course of your life is changed

This has to be my bestie! We literally met in middle school in 2008 and then she moved out of state the next year and we somehow managed to stay besties long distance this entire time and now that we have our own money we see each other more and travel together lol I feel like if I didn't have the one stable friendship I might have ended up in friend groups that wouldn't have been good for me lol

Avoid associating with individuals just because they are powerful and persuasive

This showed up a lot for me in law school bc I swear you have to be a bit insane to choose this as a career path and yes I know I chose it too and yes I think I am a bit insane for it lmao but maybe not as much as some others which is why I ended up keeping to myself. So many clashing egos as if we weren't literally just students lol I met this one girl and we had started to become friends and she persuaded me to come over to her place and teach her how to cook some foods bc we're both Haitian and then I realized that she literally just wanted me to meal prep for her and I was like uhhhhhhh.... and avoided her after that lmao I also could not get myself to gaf about networking and I really tried!! These professors were not clicking for me and befriending random attorneys at events bc of the firm they work at idk it wasn't my vibe lol

Possible you will meet someone who can really act as a guide and teacher

Idk if I can say I've met them bc they are people I only know online but I've come across a few people that I still go to for advice and guidance! We're friends now but when I met him it was bc I got a tarot reading from him where he looked at the entire upcoming year and that was honestly so helpful!

You may become associated with a group or movement that wants to reform society

Yeah that was the goal in law school lol I wanted to do juvenile justice at first to help the kids and then I wanted to do family law to help the kids and then I wanted to do immigration to help the families and I still kind of want to do immigration but I'm in patents lmao unfortunate detour

Shallow old friendships may end under this transit

My friendship with my high school bestie ended in 2014 I wanna say which is one of the years when this transit was exact on my 11H degree and it was a shallow friendship bc we were besties bc we had every class together and sat next to each other bc of our last names lol it was great at the time but then we went to different colleges in different states and it wasn't sustainable lol then in 2017 another friendship ended with my roommate of 3yrs after we graduated college and idek what happened there lol we were just really good roommates but not friends that would stay friends outside of that. There's also people I used to hang out with all the time that now I only see on socials and say happy birthday to lol

The fundamental purpose of this transit are transformation through your friendships and regeneration of your goals

Friends have definitely been a major part of my growth over the years not just through my personal experiences with them but also with their experiences with other people lol I'm always thinking about why people act how they act and a lot of times i can see how I acted similarly and it clicks for me! It's my 1H saturn return right now so a major thing has been observing my own behavior and I've been working through a lot of people pleasing tendencies after going NC with my mom and I think that I made friends along the way based on the things that they liked that I liked too but not the things that I liked you know??? lol idk how else to say that! But yeah now that I'm more aware of it and also choosing to do things I find exciting I'm leaning toward things that in my group i'm the only one into them lol idk how to go about making new friends based on that tho!

Idk about the goals still so I'm hoping that once Pluto leaves Capricorn for good I can have some clarity lol

(I wrote this post last night and had a dream about my glasses being shattered and when I looked it up it was talking about not having the tools to look at reality with clarity..........okayyyyyyyy so where are the tools? lmao in the closet? at home depot?)

[jo-the-nerd]

ALSO SPEAKING AS SOMEBODY WHO ONLY KNOWS THE BARE MINIMUM OF GOOD OMENS AND THE INEFFABLE HUSBANDS i just wanna say im pretty sure bg3 has their equivalent in bloodweave (gale [the one played by tim downie] + astarion)

my defense:

autistic book nerd and king who has the Audacity to fight God + chaotic theater gay that gives cat vibes and may need Therapy

aziraphale and gale sound like the type that would have solidarity in old man knees . idek if thats canon for aziraphale but it sure as hell is for gale

aziraphale and gale rhyme holy shit thats becoming a legitimate bullet point AJSJSJSJA

the book nerds live in their own private library . gale has a whole ass wizards tower while aziraphale has his book shop (that iirc he doesnt even sell the books in it ???)

crowley and astarion are the same fruit men . i also dont know how to explain that crowley just gives me 8 strength vibes as well . even if he was an angel you cant tell me this man can lift more than three books at once

"fuck the gods that did nothing for us. what if we chose each other" vibes from the both of them (idc what the other endings for gale are hes denouncing mystra in my canon bc i say so <33)

is aziraphale the type to have a cat . he seems so . how about a cat w wings (<-a tressym) . theyd absolutely bond over that

if you replaced the cutscenes of astarions little hissy fits w crowley i think itd honestly still be pretty in character

if i manage to pirate good omens one of these days i will be confirming if my hypothesis is correct <33

Ooooh now we're talking :)))))) I'll try to be brief (< lying)

yup that's them.

'may need therapy' we all know they do, the 'may' is only there bc they either won't admit it (Aziraphale & Gale) or would have to get dragged kicking & screaming before ultimately weaseling their way out of it looney tunes style (Crowley & Astarion)

Aziraphale is an old man in all aspects except one (biologically), however Crowley is the same age and he would definitely have old man knees. he doesn't know what to do with his joints half of the time due to being snek

yeah there are no books being sold in that bookshop fgfjkfggnv. like, it's all first editions and what-not so i totally get not wanting to give any away but then why open a shop??? instead of a collection???

yk what, fair enough. Crowley is a noodle, those arms aren't doing much more opening doors for his angel. tbf he can lift multiple potted plants at once but that's more spite than anything

i could also totally see Astarion doing the Crowley Walk(TM)

"fuck the gods that did nothing for us. what if we chose each other vibes" so true, no notes.

aziraphale doesn't have a pet (yet) but I think he would love a cat (I mean, he's got Crowley hanging around, basically the same). A tressym is just a very peculiar step up from that (consider: it has it's own wings to match him and Crowley, which is really adorable!!)

crowley's hissy fits are great and can likewise be replaced with Astarion's.

similiar additions which would probably still be in character:

C slammed Aziraphale into a wall for calling him nice

C went out into the middle of the street when he got really frustrated/anxious and exploded lightning from his body

C agreed to take care of the bookshop, not selling any books etc. but tossed any books he was holding into some corner whenever

both of them evaded the immediate ire of their higher ups by pointing out a technicality that amounted to 'this word is explained to be different from the one you're using, but through a miniscule footnote on the last page of this giagantic book'

Aziraphale has an incredible hard time overcoming the trauma and toxic mindset upheld by his superiors, including how he views himself and his partner (that one's just sad, sry)

Solid ground for a hypothesis I'd say :))

[lains-reality]

hello! thank you for replying <3

im the anon that asked about the surrendering.

https://www.tumblr.com/lains-journal/723834176704593920?source=share

that was the post i read. i read your reply. im going through alot right now, so i take it that all i have to do is to surrender and give up on trying to solve anything right? and also i have a few other questions. if i give up everything, is it the ego giving up or is it my true awareness giving up on the ego? like people say to detach from the ego. what does that mean? does it mean to detach from the actions that the ego is doing or the ego's mindset? because i don't want to put the ego's life on hold. the ego has it's responsibilities to do but i don't want to include myself in it.

im so sorry if it's confusing. other than that thank you for taking your time to answer my questions!

"all i have to do is to surrender and give up on trying to solve anything right?"

anon, its literally already explained in text: "We have to stop thinking that we're limited bodies, that's all. Stop thinking. Let go. Let be. Surrender is the word." surrender is already explained, and what is surrendered is explained too.

this is just letting go of limitations that you've put on yourself. when you let go of the limitations, you'll see the infinity that you always were.

"let go and let your Self be" is what lester says. let go of all the stories, and just BE. no obligations, no fighting, no defence, nothing. "Not I, but Thou. Not my will, but Thy will." = not vanessa's will! Self will.

"if i give up everything, is it the ego giving up or is it my true awareness giving up on the ego?"

its Self giving up ego.

"like people say to detach from the ego. what does that mean?"

if you've been reading ada then you'd have this answer? she just uses the words 'disregard' or 'disbelieve'

"does it mean to detach from the actions that the ego is doing or the ego's mindset?"

the ego's mindset - its just ego. vanessa doesn't have a mindset, she is a mindset and body. but YOU are not. that's why you say "my mind", it's not you. you are not a mindset, are you? are you a body? are you a story? are you a thought?

when you disregard the ego, it's just when you stop taking thought, feeling, sensation and action seriously. you have nothing more to do with it if its not you, right? you can sit with the feelings that rise within you because it's just there. they don't have to mean anything anymore. all those stories, past and future that vanessa pooped her pants about doesn't mean EVERYTHING anymore. its detachment from all the stories, ideas, roles, images etc that you think you are, that you think you must carry out. all the stories that you think you have no way out of.

i understand you're new to this but ada's posts were just ... idek how to explain it, literally any question you have - she answered.

the girl made posts and answers on so many different questions and managed to answer them all, with the answer literally coming down to one thing: THERES NO PERSON/EGO/CHARACTER. releasing limitations, self inquiry, disbelieving - all are ways to remove attachment to vanessa and see the Self (that you already are).

"because i don't want to put the ego's life on hold. the ego has it's responsibilities to do but i don't want to include myself in it."

then don't put it on hold. who is telling you to do that?

then don't include yourself in it. you already aren't included in it. yes, you are living it, but you don't have to be invested in it. who is telling you, you are included in it?

lets say there some guy on the street, we'll call him jack - are you included with him? are you emotionally invested in him? is he real to you, other than the one time you see him? or do you see him ONLY IN MEMORY after that? do you have to get involved with jack? he's just .. a guy. leave him alone, focus on Self.

(do you see how you started making imaginary stories abt how you might have to put life on hold? thats what you start catching out now)

reading

who is today

indifference

quote

the mind

leave vanessa alone

reassurance

theres no you

anon, READ THE BOOK ADA RECOMMENDED. its in her google drive - keys to the ultimate freedom by lester levenson.

[overthinkingtaleblr]

My Jimmy Casket Headcanon Masterlist

I’ve seen a lot of talk about the world-renowned murderer recently, and apparently his birthday is coming up, so I figured now is as good a time as any to address this fan-favorite entity of stabbing and chaos. Jimmy Casket is an uncomplicated character in his core: he possesses people, he murders indiscriminately seemingly for fun, and he eventually goes away. He has possessed multiple people across time and space, he targets humans over animals, and he has a variety of secrets with uncertain origins that he’s dying to share. Or you’re dying for him to share them.

He is most likely something paranormal just because multiple people seem to be able to channel him, but what he is (ghost, demon, something else…) is completely up for debate. I’ll be sharing and attempting to justify my own idea, however alienating it may be… because seriously, I don’t think anyone else has ever had this take before.

What is Jimmy Casket?

Instead of opening with a history discussion, we’re opening with an identity consideration, since What Jimmy is happens to be important conceptually to understanding where he might have come from. I’ll list a bunch of options before explaining my personal headcanon. There’s lots of options to what Jimmy could be, though, and some are more paranormal or dangerous than others. This list does not imply that something is likely, but rather that it is an option based off the evidence we have about who the character is.

- Casket is a Persona

Basically saying that Jimmy Casket isn’t real, but his affects still are. He is a name that people put on when they want to do something terrible, but it is still their own will and choice to enact. It says terrible things about every person who claims to be Casket, but could compelling in its own rights. Arguably the most possible non-paranormal option, especially if we believe Casket when he claims to be world-renowned and infamous.

- Casket is His Own Living Human Person

All of those things that looked like/sounded like possessions? We’re ignoring those right now, Jimmy Casket is a completely separate living and breathing human being from everyone who he was thought to have control over. They probably just step out or run when he appears or something. Or maybe we’re using canon as a suggestion in this case, and we don’t ever need to have Casket and his flesh bags in the same room.

Long story short, this man has his own vessel and boy does he use it.

This one is only likely because trying to cut all the supernatural elements out of something that uses it as a crutch creates some rather odd concepts. Because of how he’s presented in the series, it’s nigh impossible to suggest that Jimmy Casket is 100% his own, separate, human being who has never had supernatural influence over others. Unless he does have a supernatural influence over others. Maybe he’s a witch of some kind who controls others like puppets. Maybe he’s a vampire who can see through and control his vassals.

I did actually read a fanfiction that had this concept a looong time ago, and I won’t lie, I really enjoyed the earlier chapters and still think about them. It did a lot of things differently and really leaned into the kind of horror of Casket being so destructive. Also the Acachallas were a mafia crime family and Ghost and Toast only appeared once in a flashback.

- Specifically Ghost has DID, Casket is an Alter

I try not to state my own opinions with this, but as someone who does not have DID, my understanding is that you have to be VERY careful when handling this concept for a billion incredibly fair reasons. Idek if anyone uses this… I kind of hope not ^^;

With Casket as an alter in a system, even (maybe even especially) if Casket is ultimately trying to help Ghost, it perpetuates the “evil alter” trope because Jimmy Casket is conceptually a serial killer.

Ghost is seen as more threatening because upsetting him could trigger Casket. It makes Ghost justifiably be seen as terrifying in the narrative For Having DID.

The main reason why murderer with DID is a common trope in my experience is so that even the killer doesn’t know what they’ve done, creating an extra conflict where they don’t realize they’re the culprit. Additionally, it makes the investigation harder if they get involved. This is a problematic trope similar to the ‘evil alter’ one and there are non-paranormal ways to do this without villianizing DID, including regular amnesia.

Even if Casket is ultimately good and not a serial killer, to have him kill ANYone and then have Ghost forget plays into this trope as well and suggests people with DID are in some way actively dangerous.

I’m not going to police anyone who uses Ghost and Casket to express themselves. I will say be very careful with your portrayal. You can have Ghost as a system without Casket being one of the alters in it. Additionally, if you think I got anything wrong in this explanation, lmk. Whether or not Ghost has DID is not important to the other options after this, he could or couldn’t, this one is just “Casket is apart of a/the system”.

- Ghost and Casket are a Jekyll/Hyde situation

There are two ways I could mean this, but either way it means that Casket and Ghost share a mind and not a body.

1. Jimmy Casket is the evil inside of Ghost separated from the rest of his mind and embodied in a way that changes their external appearance. The origin would have to be supernatural in order for that to happen. Think Jackson Jekyll/Holt Hyde from Monster High. Technically, this could be mistaken for a really poor portrayal of DID so I do suggest being careful with this one. Changing between the two would not be an active choice on either of their parts.

2, and the answer more common to Jekyll and Hyde, Casket is just another body and face, but that’s still Ghost’s mind in there. Ghost is using the persona of Casket to commit “evils” that he desires doing but doesn’t want the social repercussions for. This implies that he has a potion of some kind that he takes in order to trigger the change, making it a willful act.

Be careful with this one either way because even if you expressly state ‘this is not DID’, it could be seen as a poor interpretation of how DID works. (Raises hand I did this in a fic once and I’m cringing at myself as I type this.)

- Casket is Tied to “Knifey”

Jimmy Casket is an entity of some kind who possessed not Ghost, but the knife that Casket carries around. This can double up with another headcanon in this list, more likely the paranormal ones. (Casket is a human person and he’s also a knife lowkey doesn’t work—)

If Ghost was able to fully get rid of the knife forever, he would no longer deal with Casket. However, this option would also imply that something about the knife is enchanted to make Ghost desire keeping it around, or it’s physically tied to him and appears whenever he expresses emotions it can feed off of.

This also explains how other people get possessed by Casket, specifically since most of them seem to show Casket signs after being given a knife that could very easily be cursed. He may not be the only character who can do this, too.

- Casket is a Ghost who has History with the Casket Family

This one is soooo varied it’s hard to encapsulate all the possibilities. Either way, Casket is a ghost who was alive at some point, and he is possessing Ghost because they have some connection through Ghost’s bio family. Are they siblings? Is Casket his uncle? Grandfather? Father? A distant ancestor of some kind? An enemy of the Casket family? Someone who was wronged in the Casket family? I guess attempting to list all the options was unnecessary— the important part is that Casket was alive, he’s dead now, and he’s latched to Ghost.

I know multiple people who use/have used this interpretation before, so it lowkey has a special place in my heart.

- Casket is a Generational Curse

Ghost is not the first person in his family to have dealt with Jimmy Casket possessing his body before, and for all we know T.Casket was frequently possessed as well before Ghost was born. This would have been a well-known issue within the family… if there was any family left to warn Ghost. Implies everyone who has had Casket possess them is related to the Casket family, and that Ghost has been a vessel since Casket’s last host died.

Seeing as Ghost is not the first person in the family with an inclination to the supernatural, I could see Jimmy Casket being something put upon their family a long time ago for fucking around and finding out. Maybe they had an overzealous witch in the family who fucked everything up for everybody? Who knows.

This curse is likely tied to someone keeping a very very serious secret, and speaking it into the world is the only way to stop him, but they died a long time ago so Casket isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

- Casket is a Creation of the Housekeeper

This could double-up with another option, seeing as the Housekeeper seems to be able to manipulate a lot of supernatural things, or work on its own.

I specify this one just because it requires consideration on how Casket sees his creator. Does he like the Housekeeper? Does the Housekeeper have some level of control over him? Was Casket a normal entity before being exposed to the God of Chaos? Is Casket seen as the Housekeeper’s child (Demigod of Secrets Jimmy Casket, anybody?)? CAN Casket exist without Ghost for a host? Why did Casket react so violently upon seeing the Housekeeper face-to-face?

There’s a lot of options to consider here and a lot of them can really push a story forward.

- Casket is some Creature from Folklore

Anything with an obsession for blood, stabbing, and secrets and the ability to take over or control someone’s body. I’m certain there are a lot of options, knowing how wild a lot of folklore is (Chupacabra Casket, anybody?), and technically my own headcanon falls into this option.

This is a matter of specificity, and the only reason this is distinct from the other supernatural options is because it may change how evil/intentional his actions are, and it’ll wildly change how PIE would have to handle him.

If you want Ghost to be from a specific country or have ties to a specific culture, this could help immensely in connecting him to it. It also means that you could have a WILD design for what Casket looks like and how he differs appearance-wise from Johnny Ghost. Ppl who love monster designs and mythology research could do SO much with this.

Plus, most folklore are used as legends to warn children not to do certain things. If Ghost did one of those stupid things, it creates a personal explanation to how he got possessed without throwing his family under the bus, and gives you the opportunity to make your own story as to what happened.

- Casket is a Demon

Similar to a ghost, someone in the Casket Family history screwed up and now Ghost is facing the consequences. Demons and ghosts are very different and can be handled in very different ways. Maybe Casket’s a fallen angel and still has some good in him? Maybe Casket is evil to the core and LIVES to wreak havoc and ruin Ghost’s life, relationships, and more.

I’m sure there’s someone out there who better understands demons than me, be in-universe, they are powerful and horrific with a host or not. This makes Casket one of the most active threats in the universe.

Although unlike the ghost option, Johnny Ghost could have brought this upon himself by being a stupid moron and trying to summon a demon as a child and screwing up to a dangerous degree. He would do it.

- My Headcanon : Jimmy Casket is a Unicorn

Technically the same as Folklore but more specified to being an in-universe entity, Jimmy Casket is a Unicorn— a creature from the 13th dimension best represented by Stardust Sprinkleshine. I’m not sure how much of their history is canon and what was my own thoughts, but if you touch a Floating Gun that seems to exist outside of Space-Time, one will exit from a pocket dimension and possess your mind. Touching the gun again puts them back, and most seem to choose to return.

I think that Casket is a particularly crafty unicorn who managed to figure out how to not be sourced from the floating gun, either being tied instead to his knife or to a human body. He’s possessed multiple characters long-term throughout the series, and if he’s able to burrow deep enough into someone’s mind, he could completely take over their body.

I also think he was Mothman in a video where a young Johnny Ghost is terrorized by Mothman on a Halloween Night. I think that Casket somehow lost his old host and needed to find a fresh one, grabbing the first human he could find. I don’t know if the mothman is his true form, Casket mutating an animal body, or the dying body of his old host falling apart while Casket tries to operate around rigor mortis. (Spoilers for my ask blog 🤫)

Casket is not a creature who can be reasoned with outside of secrets, fun, and violence. He can possess anybody in PIE, won’t show up on ghost sensors, and can’t be warded away with most options. I think this is the primary reason why Johnny Toast hasn’t attempted to ward him off, despite seeing how much Casket hurts Ghost. Additionally, Casket can easily possess anyone on the team, including Toast, if they get on his nerves enough.

Horrifically, as a unicorn Casket can also largely bend the logic of the world, making him hard to catch and even harder to handle.

… He may eventually be somewhat defanged if treated with humanity and compromise, but he’ll always be kind of terrifying if he gets riled up. He’s like a wild animal if zoomies meant death. I can’t imagine he’d be that helpful in an investigation though.

There we go, ten options and my personal opinion! Hope I encapsulated everyone’s idea <3

History Headcanons

This is how I personally see Casket’s story up until the general point in canon where I tend to place things, and I’m not really considering videos in this. This is what I, personally, think and it may not have any basis in canon whatsoever.

- 13th Dimension to Freedom -

Before the Unicorns entered the floating gun, they existed on their native world in the 13th Dimension. They might have even been less crazy than they tend to be in the modern day, existing mostly as creatures of magic and a type of technology unfathomable to humans. Not quite “Jimmy Casket” yet, the unicorn who would one day become our point of focus didn’t have much reason to be considered differently than other unicorns outside of just being his own “person”. Maybe he has a specific emphasis for honesty, maybe he’s more likely to turn to violence, either way he isn’t a public figure or anything. He’s just a normal guy in his own society… I think Unicorns may also somewhat be a bit of a hive mind.

Then everything changed when the “Fire Nation” attacked. In all seriousness, Prince Fang and his family have been conquering dimensions for an incredibly long time. Their approach wasn’t subtle, and the unicorns took their chance to run when they realized what was coming. Tying a doorway to an item from a dimension the dragons wouldn’t be able to reach for a long, long time and tossing it through, the unicorns basically funneled into a pocket dimension tied to the doorway to escape. However, they didn’t think too hard on where they’d end up, and the doorway ended up in a position where no one could leave for literally years, kind of driving most the inhabitants to insanity.

I don’t know if the unicorn who would become Casket just used a different exit from the others, or if he took the first chance he got to get as far away as possible. Either way, the unicorn or focus managed to get away from the trap they accidentally built themselves, but still had really nowhere to go. Managing to tether his spirit to a human host long-term and eventually a blade whenever the human didn’t work out, he was free to do whatever he wanted. Not at all socialized to human cultures, that mostly led to murder while he learned how to co-exist with a host. Having as many hosts as he did, it kind of gave him a bunch of secrets to inherit as well as he moved from person to person. I imagine that any secret Jimmy tells is one that previously belonged to someone he lived as, usually picking someone who might be known to the victim.

While in the beginning, I think he tried to be in control 100% of the time, but kept either wearing himself out or breaking his victim’s mind or body, which is why he only pops in when something interesting happens now. How long this took for him to realize would be difficult to decide, since I’m not even sure at what time Jimmy entered the world. Either way, he’s a boy with a bladed weapon and a desire to wreak havoc.

- Wild West -

I don’t know how many other hands Casket found himself between before a young Johnny Ghost, but I know the identity of one. In spite of his generally cagey nature, Casket found his host dead after an encounter with the Acachalla Gang in the Wild West, but survived solely out of luck. Either due to an interest in a knife at the campsite from one of his attackers, or latching to the first one that seemed to be susceptible, Jimmy came to possess one of the gang members as his old host passed away without anyone noticing. Craving freedom and realizing this body would live for an incredibly long time, he decided to take a bit of a different route then usual.

To the rest of his family, Kermit Acachalla developed a new and passionate interest in knives, specifically one knife. And then an increased tendency to turn to violence. Maybe if they weren’t literally a gang, they would have picked up on the red flags sooner. It wasn’t all on them to notice, though, as Kermit frequently traveled one-on-one with a close friend who Casket would sometimes possess instead, depending on what he wanted to do when they separated. One was a lot more likely to bend to his will, the other one could literally travel through time, often giving Casket the opportunity to wreak havoc on the future. Eventually, the time traveler grew wise and Casket figured that was as good a time as any to stick with Kermit long-term… and also lowkey drive the man to insanity.

Kermit the Claw became a well-known serial killer, one who eventually killed Johnny Ghost Senior in a skuffle but got mortally wounded in the process. It took Casket an uncomfortably long while to find a suitable host after living easy for almost a hundred years, and then when he thought he had one, some stupid ghost hunter tried to banish him. He wasn’t picky though, and found someone else soon after.

- Johnny Ghost -

This is why you don’t go out alone, kids. You never know when mothman will corner you in an above-ground pool and possess your face. While I don’t think Ghost was specifically targeted, I think Casket’s old host had been in the area for long enough to know that Ghost and the “ghost hunter” that attempted the banishment were living in the same house. What he did Not know was that he was also the son of the Johnny Ghost who he murdered a year or so prior, really giving Casket a goldmine of trauma to work with. Weakened from a lot of crap that happened, including the attempted banishment and possessing someone with experience in keeping someone out of his head, Casket could only really take control if Ghost was feeling enough of a heightened emotion, rather than just whenever he felt interested. He found it didn’t really stop him, though, Ghost being Incredibly passionate.

He’s basically been living easy ever since. Whether it be Johnny Toast or Peewee Ghost trying to hold him back, they’re ultimately his biggest enablers of all time. Between the hilarity of Ghost’s stress and the effort his loved ones put into cleaning Casket’s messes, he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants it. Casket was basically out 24/7 while Ghost was in college, and he’s more resting now that Ghost has graduated. He’s grown rather fond of this life. Mostly because it constantly gives him the means to leave bodies in his wake.

Relationships

Johnny Ghost

“This kid can fit SO many problems into him!”

DAMN he has issues, and Casket is obsessed. Sometimes he likes to just sit and watch Ghost fail at being a human being without any intervention whatsoever. It’s just that hard for him on his own.

Casket has a lot of control over Ghost’s memories, and he finds it funny to just eat as many of them as possible. There is no telling what Ghost does or does not have an understanding of thanks to Jimmy Casket. This is why Toast wrote the book out of the two of them.

Kind of holding Ghost’s body together Venom-style, and if Casket ever leaves Ghost will both experience a rush the of memories that Casket was suppressing and possibly an organ failure. It’s now because of this that Casket does not jump possession, even though he sometimes really, really wants to.

Johnny Toast

His first choice for someone else to possess if the opportunity presents itself, Jimmy thinks it’s hilarious that Toast seems to be under the impression that he can be in any way shape or form “held back”.

Thinks that there’s more going on with him than he makes obvious, mostly because Toast absolutely has ‘latent but incredibly strong power rests inside of me’ vibes, and Casket can tell.

Weirdly enough, he does not approve of the drug dealing.

Peewee Ghost

Jimmy found it hilarious how much effort Ghost’s father put into trying to get rid of Casket without Ghost noticing. Sometimes he’ll still poke out when Ghost visits home just to taunt him. Hard to attack him, though, the house is covered in safety wards and curses and stuff to stop Casket from getting to feisty.

As much as Peewee hates Casket, he and Ghost are a package deal, meaning Peewee will clean up any mess Casket is too lazy to take care of himself, so long as he’s willing to sit through a lecture and multiple threats.

Fred “The Spooker” Soup

Thinks that Spooker would be his favorite person on the team if he were to just go crazy go stupid. It’s why Casket will jump out and kill Spooker all the time— he’s kind of hoping the guy is going to snap and try to get Casket back some day.

It hasn’t worked yet, but come on, how much longer can the guy have before his patience wears thin?

I think Spooker x Casket is a viable crackship bc i find it funny. Maybe not if the Casket is as murder-motivated as mind, but I could see it happening otherwise!

Chris “Colon” Ghostie

Colon hates that the team harbors Casket from justice, Casket thinks Colon’s righteous indignation is hilarious.

Casket will sometimes admit to cold cases that he might not have even done just to get Colon upset with him for getting away with it. Colon is the most invested in looking for a way to banish Casket for good.

Katrina

“The power of love failed you? Better Luck Next Time!”

His first victim after possessing Ghost that didn’t happen to be an animal or something like that. He was kind of hoping it would be enough to emotionally destroy Ghost, but found that others in her family took the loss a lot worse.

If she survived, it would have been a good lesson not to trust everyone who claimed to be your friend when you knew he was hosting some kind of evil spirit. She was a little too optimistic for her own good.

Johnny “Roast”

Jimmy genuinely considered switching from Ghost to Roast, feeling like Roast had a bit more of an underlying violence to him.

After seeing how poorly he took his sister’s death, and how much misdirected anger he lashed out with, Casket decided it would probably be more rewarding to watch this kid spiral on his own. At this rate, there was no way he was going to develop “Healthy Coping Mechanisms” or whatever that means.

If given the opportunity/if something ever happens to PIE, Roast will absolutely be his first pick for a new host.

Gavin Toast

“What do you MEAN there are two of them?”

Since Casket possessed Ghost after Toast moved back to the UK, Casket didn’t meet Gavin for a loooong time, and their meeting what a very confusing experience for specifically Casket.

Gavin is, weirdly enough, a little bit too normal for Casket. Casket can also tell that out of everyone, he’s the most likely to get Ghost arrested so that Casket faces justice. Mostly because every vengeful spirit will bombard Gavin any time the two are near each other, begging for retribution and Gavin does not think Ghost’s freedom is worth it.

Plus, Ghost has means to get out, he’ll be fine.

Johnny Cranky

“I dunno what your deal is, but you had me at joining a team named DIE.”

Exactly what it says on the tin, Jimmy is ready and willing to be apart of Cranky’s weird club so long as it means he gets to do some stabbing.

He doesn’t really consider Cranky to be anything other than a conduit for murder, he’s barely even a person to Casket. Casket frequently ignores him, talks over him, walks out of the room mid-conversation, and other things that really show that he does not care about Cranky’s existence.

Cranky only puts up with it because he thinks Casket is too dumb to realize he’s being rude. He’s not.

Cardboard Friend

“Back off! You already gave up on this one, it’s my turn!”

No matter what CBF is, no one ever said that Jimmy Casket had the common sense not to pick fights with demons or vassals of gods...

CBF, whether good or bad, is emotionally distressing for Ghost. While Casket appreciates the easy exit into the world, he does NOT want CBF to be near him. Either because CBF is a threat to the body (that Casket lives in) or CBF loves Ghost and is a threat to Casket, they do not get along at all.

Trivia

I do think he met T.Casket at some point, but I think they got out alive mostly out of dumb luck, and Casket still hasn’t realized that he’s the same person as Ghost’s dad yet. He probably knows a secret or two about the guy.

Jimmy is probably afraid of old people because he finds old age to be one of the most disastrous things to experience. He wants to be able to move around as much as possible, and an ailing body is probably an uncomfortable one to be in if you have the chance to move between them.

Could also be memento mori, a reminder of death would be uncomfortable to a being that is just barely not immortal.

Going by a bunch of other names throughout the time he’s had on the world, the name Jimmy Casket mostly came to spite Ghost’s family. Feeling bad about Ghost knowing so little about himself, his dad (Peewee) tried explaining his bio family and the CBF incident to him, and at the time Ghost understood and though he needed time to process it, he didn’t take the news horribly. Casket basically ate the memory of that conversation and took the family name specifically to mock Peewee’s efforts.

Jimmy taunted Toast about killing his wife once and got shot to death for his efforts. Jimmy considers this his most rewarding interaction with Johnny Toast of all time and doesn’t bring up Mary just to not spoil the memory of that interaction.

CBF and Jimmy might’ve met before Jimmy could possess Ghost but after Gregory ran away. Jimmy probably attacked it at the time, and it was likely in a weakened state, which is why it’s genuinely kind of afraid of him, even if its more powerful than he is.

Started a diary and wrote in it whenever Ghost stumbled upon it just SPECIFICALLY to scare Toast when he eventually stumbled upon it.

Would absolutely spill the secret about the Destroyers of the Investigators Extraordinaire existing and Spooker being offered a membership roll if he thought it would tear PIE apart.

Has had rabies before.

Bites.

[rin-and-jade]

Okay, so we've tried several times to write an ask, and each time we just..stop ?? So this time instead of explaining in detail n shit and saying how much we're sorry if this isn't appropriate to ask, I'm just gonna write :/

So, we're kind of stuck, in the sense that idk if I'm/we're(both pronouns feel wrong lol) a system anymore and,wdk what to do about it.

Because basically 5-6 years ago, when we were around 10(i think, but at this point i only know the story through the "telephone" of our retellings) our brain tried to just.. get rid of most of the DID. I'm not even ducking kidding, i think it tried to lower barriers and smush most of us together, to the best of it's ability. From what I've gathered, it planned on shoving all our trauma deep down in the innerworlds, and hiding them from the main kid. Like, getting rid of thousands of fragments, banking them in little crevices of our brain etc.

That procedure was supposed to make it so the main kid could have more of their life for them- without access or even knowledge of the sheer size of the abyss and pain in background, and thus being less affected by it till they were old enough to deal with it. Idk how to explain really, especially since i myself barely understand.

In any case, it went wrong. I don't know why much, as our memory has increasingly deteriorated since to the point i have nearly no knowledge left. I'm not sure even all that ever happened, because maybe I'm just inventing stuff and creating a story were there is none, and I'm scared that what i know isn't real and just my imagination or smth

And what's left is..me i guess. I kinda feel like a fragment in the sense that i have limited consciousness and just..person-space(if that makes sense ?) I'm not sure if I'm several people, one person, an eldritch entity of kinda seperate kinda not glued together entities.

Idek what i want to be. I want to be a full person, that's for sure, but other than that ? Idk. I'm lost, I'm a mix of tons of different opinions and vague, weak, feelings, and flashes of blurry memories and desires that don't belong to me.

So.. i know you probably can't help, but do you have.. any idea on what I could do ? Or if others have been in similar situations and if it got better ?

This is a very long ask x knows, and it's desperate, and you aren't our/my psychs so I shouldn't just dump this and hope you have answers, and I'm so sorry if this isn't appropriate to ask, but yeah.

I'm sorry.

Dissociative disorders do the job, but not perfectly, what you're explaining from the words of "nearly no knowledge left" sounds like retrograde amnesia, where it is near to impossible to remember anything from the past.

I also get a bit on what you mean with not knowing who you are,, that is usually close to a blurry moment? Because everything feels jumbled, its not clear, it is hard to discern wether there's multiple or not, etc. That could sound like it;

Have you been exposed to stress? Especially long term? Has anything awful been happening? Many factors can affect memory and recognizing who you are that can stem from basic needs that are neglected like sleep or rest if you're working for long periods, or deficiencies on vitamins/minerals/nutrition because they also play a part on fending off brain fog which can cause many issues like memory recall or trouble focusing,, or it can be to even deeper issues like stress as i said before, or if it is related to trauma, or any sustained physical injuries but it could be anything really.

Im guessing this is something that didn't happen in such a short time, but i do can give you some stuffs to do for starters:

Write down everything you can notice those feelings, those lingering sense of identity, or vibes, or thoughts, they are truly jumbled and it helps you organize and recognize your situation better if you have a physical record of what you're experiencing

Find the cause of problem If you can, try digging up anything you can find that could be the culprit, maybe before things get too foggy to remember that could serve as clues, and by checking with your current health (physically and mentally and emotionally) and see what could be fixed.

For sense of fulfillment It is overwhelming to know which or where you have to start from if you want to learn more of yourself, while you can do number 1 to jot down things you don't align with, this also gives you some ideas on what could be yours. Start somewhere small, like, how you like your daily morning, or preference in eating food, or the colors you think it looks cool.

It would also be great if you can leave out the tiniest bit of context next time, so my answers for now are rather vague and less pinpointed/specific. Though atleast still can suffice as a starting point to tackle your issues.

You can contact me anytime via ask box or DMs, let's see how things go for you okay?

- j

[spirkme915]

Pick a Song #1 - Take My Breath Away by Berlin

for @between-stars-and-enterprise a spirk drabble inspired by "take my breath way" by berlin.

because my brain is a maze of incomprehensible turns and multiple exits, the first thing i thought of when i saw the song title was "top gun" and all i could remember about that movie was that the gorgeous woman may have been a teacher to the hotshot pilot (idek if this is true??) and i thought of spock teaching jim something, then i looked up the lyrics to make sure i remembered them well enough, and got stuck on the line "if only for today, i am unafraid" then this drabble (or, really, longer than a drabble, oops) happened!

it's all fluff. nothing but fluff.

i hope you enjoy 💙

Jim sets down an apple on the corner of the lectern then takes his seat at the table in the front row.

While he remains the captain in this conference room turned classroom, he won’t be in charge today - that illustrious honor belongs to his highly competent XO.

Spock lifts his gaze from his padd and, upon spotting the red fruit, inclines one svelte eyebrow in question.

“It’s an old Earth custom to give a teacher an apple,” Jim explains.

“Solely this specific type of fruit or any other?”

“Just an apple.”

“What was the origin of this type of gift?”

Jim hesitates, accesses the recesses of his memory and comes back blank. “Honestly? I don’t know.”

“Then I must conclude it is an illogical custom.”

“And yet, delicious. That one’s real not replicated - from a bag I picked up at the last starbase. Don’t waste it.”

The corner of Spock’s lips twitch. “Is that an order, Captain?”

Jim tsks. “You’re the one in charge, Mr. Spock.”

“Very well.”

Spock begins the lecture, immediately commanding the attention of the fifty-ish crew who have gathered to hear the most recent updates to Starfleet landing party procedures. Jim tries to pay attention, he really does, but he’s well-aware that he’s going to ignore most (all) of the official procedures the second circumstances deem it, and his time here today is much better utilized cataloging every inch of his first officer.

Appropriate? No, not at all. But a better use of his time? Without a doubt.

While he can’t quite force himself to listen to the substance of the lecture, the dulcet baritone of Spock’s voice rolls over him pleasantly. He appreciates the grace with which Spock moves between the lectern and the viewscreen - long legs, narrow hips, the fit of science blues over a well-formed chest and arms. Spock points to a block of dense, dreadfully boring regulation text on the viewscreen and Jim loses himself in the twist of Spock’s wrist, imagines those elegant fingers against his skin.

Jim clears his throat, stations his elbows on the table and decides to pay attention. It’s time to focus on something else.

Spock is a good teacher, engaging and patient, and Jim’s heart squeezes with adoration as the supposedly bland Vulcan keeps over fifty people hanging on his every word. The material is dry, yet Spock interjects stories from previous missions and invites others to participate. The first wry joke Spock cracks, Jim is the only one who dares to laugh. Ten minutes later, Spock has the entire room snickering. It’s all rather…endearing.

Because of course it would be.

Most people see Spock’s ears and eyebrows and make all kinds of assumptions. But the reality of Spock is much more Human than Spock would ever admit, much more saucy than Bones knows how to deal with, and so rebellious that Spock can make the James T. Kirk look tamed.

Jim may just be a little bit in love with him.

Or, well, a lot.

Spock catches his eyes and Jim gazes back with a smile meant just for his XO. He has to be completely obvious in the moment, but he can’t find the will to care. It’s not as if it’s the first time and it most definitely won’t be the last.

Every look he gives Spock is an invitation extended that he shouldn’t want Spock to accept. It’s safe because he knows that Spock never will.

But that’s okay. Because if this is all they ever are - friends, confidants, chess partners, brothers in arms - then Jim’s life is more complete than he thought it could be. The life of a starship captain can be painfully solitary and Spock’s ever-present presence at his side ensures it’s not.

“Captain?”

“Yes, Mr. Spock?”

“The lecture has concluded.”

Jim starts, glances around the room to find he’s the only crew member remaining. He has no chance of concealing the flush on his cheeks when he meets Spock’s eyes again.

“Ah. It appears it has.”

“Is there further clarification you seek, Captain? I am available for the next twelve minutes to answer questions.”

Will you marry me?, he thinks.

“No questions,” he says.

Spock accepts that with the hint of a nod then heads toward the lectern. He shuts off the viewscreen, picks up his padd, then palms the apple.

“Captain,” Spock says. “Thank you for the gift. I find it is most appropriate as it reminds me of you.”

Jim remains in his seat, curiosity getting the better of him. He rests his arms on the table and clasps his hands together. “And how is that, Mr. Spock?”

Spock takes two steps forward, until he’s standing in front of Jim - a table and an apple between them.

“It brings to mind a Terran colloquialism my mother was fond of saying - you are the apple of my eye.”

Important. Viewed with affection. Cared for.

Cherished.

Jim isn’t sure about the origins of that either, but the meaning is crystal clear.

“As you are for me,” he admits.

Spock leans down then and Jim has a mere fraction of a second to realize that Spock is going to kiss him before Spock’s lips are actually against his. It’s a shock of much colder skin first, then softness, then an electric heat that starts at his lips and zings through his entire body.

When Spock inches back, Jim can’t quite breathe.

“Have dinner with me tonight?” he asks.

He sounds just as breathless as he is. He can’t dredge up an ounce of shame for that one.

Spock holds up the apple, his oh-so-Human eyes dancing with sauciness, rebelliousness, and mirth.

“I will bring dessert.”

[maehemthemisfit]

MUTUALS

This is a LOT and probably half of it doesn't make any sense and looks like gibberish but yk what thats fine. Sorry I couldn't fit everyone!

@clovers-garden-co - my first ever moot, my one and only, bae, love of my life, my beloved, and the person who helped me make this blog so BIG SHOUT OUT to them!! ALSO CHECK OUT THEY'RE BLOG THEY DESERVE SO MUCH LOVE 💕💖💘

@fitzkn - my dawg, my guy, my fam, he's canonically a cat and part of the menace society. If you ever see me rb a convo with him, 9 times outta 10 it's gonna be something... idek how to explain it but you might laugh, you might cry, you might log out and rethink your life on this app. Conversations can range from genshin to a lawn mower don't ask me cause I have no words. He's also a talented writer an artists but will never admit it. If you're a fan of angst and genshin, I recommend digging through his blog and finding a fic called butter knife... I was in tears. HIS OTHER WORKS ARE CHEF KISS TOO MWAH

@some-stale-bread - we don't interact much but they're one of the OGs who welcomed me when I first started my blog. They're really cool and they're a good artist so check them out some time!

@senjusonlygirlfriend - we go way back, though we didn't interact much in those early moments. They're an amazing writer and friend and I love chatting with them <33

@path-of-yaksha - we also been moots for a while but I got hella confused bc you changed your url. They're a pretty chill system even though we don't interact much

@y-umiko - fell in love with their blog aesthetic <3 wish we interacted more. They like genshin and TR so it's a yes for me

@mansplain-manipulate-malewife - I don't know how this happened, but it did and I don't regret it. I feel like im falling through portals from rick and morty whenever I open their blog. It's a nice change of scenery. Hii Alex, hope you're doing well

@official-megumin - The best wizard in tumblr so powerful I had to follow. IDK WHAT CHECKMARKS MEAN AND WHY IS THERE MORE THAN ONE??? EXPLAIN??? She's cool, though I rarely see them when im active

@oddshroom - MY GURL, MY G, MY SHROOM- MUSHROOM? HAMVKTIRLOE. ANOTHER ONE PART OF MENACE SOCIETY. They're an awesome person, really sweet, amazing writer, we also speak in code 🦞 but you'll never know what we're saying. They gang fr doe 💅🏾✨

@dorothy-rainbird - WE DONT INTERACT ANYMORE *sobs* or have we ever? I see you in my notifs a lot though so you're part of the misfit gang. RESPECTT. Wish I seen you on my dash more tho :')

@vellichxrr6782 - HUGGING YOU HUGGING YOU HUGGING YOU. You're really sweet and I wish we talked more <33 I wish you the best my friend

@cross-crye - ANOTHER AMAZING WRITER HELLO??? They bouta put me on twst fr im this 🤏🏾close into falling down the simp rabbit hole. HELLO SETH I ALSO WISH U THE BEST

@omori-1 - daily reminder that I need to finish watching omori... I PROMISE I WILL AJUFKRI. VIRGO GANG. TALENTED CREATOR GANG. IF I COULD EAT THEIR BLOG I WOULD. Put it inna air fryer and drizzle some sauce on afterwards yum. Another one part of menace society. LOVE YA CHAI, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD AND THEN SOME

@xiao6ao - My love. My life. My will to write. MY LOVELY EDITOR. MWAH MWAH I LOVE YOU. She's my life support for real and also deserves the world and good fortune and just Nbhvgtdikmk This world shall know pain if anything happens to her. AMAZING WRITER YET ANOTHER ONE WHO DOESNT ADMIT IT. Grammarly 2.0. Always come in clutch. Menace society CEO. AHH I LOVE YOU PLEASE TAKE CARE

@atskas - MY FAM. TALENTED AUTHORS ALERT. TIMEZONES SUCK FR BUT I STILL LOVE THEM. Another one locked in, in the menace society, rip their sleep schedule. HI ARII ILY- HIARIILY... That actually looked like one word- GIRL I WISH YOU THE BEST MWAH

@lunartcmpest - it's always the aesthetic blogs that melts my heart. TALENT WRITER ALERT BEEP BEEP BEEP. GO CHECK OUT THEIR BLOG RN OR IM SNATCHING YOUR ANKLES. Wish we interacted more but it's all good. She's pretty cool tho. SHOUT OUTS TO YOU KAIRI, WISH YOU WELL

@alhara - AUTOCORRECT BE DAMNED. HELLO HARA. SHOUT OUT TO ANOTHER UNDERRATTED WRITER. Wish you the best

@albed0kreideprinz - They haven't been active in a min and I hope they're okay, but here's an amazing rp blog for all those interested. They're amazing and really sweet and I hope the world treats them well <3

@araranas - aka @primojade aka TALENETED WRITER aka AMAZING PERSON aka MNJNJENKI I LOVE YOU. TIMEZONES BE DAMNED

@ventisweetheart - IF ONLY I COULD HUG SOMEONE THRU THE INTERNET! You're so sweet and I'm glad we're moots and I always look forward to our interactions

@micheya - I dont know why and dont ask me, but if I could squish you like a gummy bear I would... IT MIGHT BE THE AETHER PFP IDK. We don't interact much but <333

@1eaf-me-alone - This year, I think you should turn a new 1eaf... g-get it BECAUSE MUYGITKR,ICRLT. Forgive me, I had to. PFF S,MUTFR THEY'RE REALLY COOL CHECK THEM OUT. HI HELLO HRU. I love our interactions please dont block me for my Cyno jokes, I'll 1eaf you alone if you- AUMSUFKRDE IM SORRY I CANT HELP IT!!

@scaranya - the fact that I had to basically type your full name out because scaranation is so big on tumblr... N E WAYS, RECENT MOOT HERE. Love to see your comments <3 Please stay safe and well!

@qingxin-dream - ENVIOUS OF YOUR WANDERER KEYCHAIN GRRR GRRR SUNYUFKRIKRCF. Another great writer here, please check them out!

@sweet-almonds - COMFORT WRITER BC ANGST BREAKS MY HEART. SHE'S AWESOME AND SWEET AND I ADORE YOUR BLOG

@enassbraid - Yall with these url changes. I HAVE BAD MEMORY OKAY! She's lovely okay and deserves the moon and back

@wanderersbell - WWEEEE WOOO WEEE WOOO TALENT WRITER ALERT, YES OFFICER? RIGHT THERE -> YOU'RE LITERALLY SO AMAZING AND FUN TO TALK WITH IM SO GLAD WE CROSSED PATHS EEEE PLEASE I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR WRITING EVERYDAY I WISH U THE BEST

I KNOW IM MISSING A FEW AND IF I CAN I'LL ADD THEM LATER BUT MY HANDS ARE GETTING TIRED AND SORRY IF SOME OF THE THINGS IVE SAID WAS REPETTITIVE I TRIED MY BEST

@cynotical - RECENTLY BECAME MOOTS BUT IVE BEEN A FAN FOR AWHILE ✨✨✨ Another talented writer please check them out as well as their other blog!!! THEY'RE AWESOME AND SUCH A LOVELY PERSON TOO

@sonder-paradise - idk how but their writing manages to break me down and put me back together again every time like— UGHHH I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. Talent writer alert x20. Should have 2 novels and an ongoing series already because wth

[kruinka]

tell us more abt ur romfan au 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

omg than k u for enabling me so. this is what i want to draw

-isagi kicking ass (comically) -first meeting kaiser sae rin nagi -full body designs kaiser sae rin nagi isagi -shirayukimiya and the seven dwarves -individual kaiser sae rin nagi -kurona isagi hiori nanase besties REAL -kaiser backstory comic -sae pre angst -sae intimidating -crying rin -rin pre angst

but i feel like u are here for the kaiser lore instead so

sorry if nothing makes sense😭

in my silly little brain there is kaiser angst and his father is the pope (thanks mitzi) -kaiser but hes more fake and more bastard than canon the setting is divine power does not do well with magic ESPECIALLY in this nation bc it is a blessed land (real not clickbait) -the royal familys defining trait?? is golden hair that never fades and every 20 years someone with this golden blood will be blessed with stigmata -stigmata in this case means the deity of this land has chosen u to be the next ruler -so breaking news!! kaiser does not have stigmata he only has social stigma bc his mother was a naive witch that fell in love with the king -he still has the golden hair but its also "tainted" with blue from the bloodline of a witch so the hair colours are all natural babie🤩🤩🤩 -anyways his mom thought they would be fine if they just lived quietly in a corner of the palace but nope she dies lol -cue evil queen who does not like the concubine so she plots an assassination -michael kaiser, age 6, motherless -idk how to go deeper into explaining his backstory but i do have an image in my head that i feel like would be better if i drew it out instead -but ofc kaisers world view is now flipped -living quietly and hoping for peace doesnt work so he will live as if he were dead while plotting his grand murder spree -and also two years before the family die kill murder -one of his half siblings received a stigmata -but kaiser kills him anyways bc how would u keep ur faith when all ur life u have been mistreated by those who call themselves children of god -and then the stigmata appears on him and hes just 😟😟 -after claiming the throne he kicks out a bunch of ppl and starts establishing diplomatic connections with the magic tower (cue ness) -bc it is very obvious that its a good thing. to establish connections. but holy kingdom vatican city here doesnt do that bc they are held back by traditions and bias -so after that hes just known as a blasphemous child sitting on the throne -but theres a party of intellectuals and new nobles who support him so like kaisers not dead YET -stuff is messy, his bad rep spreads and rumours get twisted so now hes not only known as Tyrant Who Scammed God (partly real) -hes also somehow a Sadistic Villain That Hypnotizes You With Magic (also partly real)

now in the main story hes all 🤪😏😏but thats how he acts when there is something he wants (scammer mode) -deep down hes 😐😔😠emo irritated and thinks hes a bad person (he is a bad person) -he probably does feel guilty for killing his father and not being able to protect his mother -and like tries to convince himself that what he did was right but sometimes he thinks of his mother and wonders if this is what she wouldve wanted :/ -and sometimes he doubts his ability as a ruler bc his half sibling was the chosen one and not him -being compared to and discriminated throughout ur whole life does something to a man huh -so the insecurities and jealousy issues still apply🫶 -but he is actually quite capable bc what else would u do in ur free time other than study -if u were stuck in the palace and ur mom is dead and ur father is pathetic -i want kaisers character arc to be him actually having a proper meltdown now that his life is no longer Constantly In Danger -and at the end of the arc he finally feels happy to be here something something i havent thought of this part yet

ok so this is very long and its still just kaiser and idek if anything makes sense but i also have stuff for rin and sae and isagi going on in my head

idk if the old romfan rant i posted can still apply to the au thats in my head bc i changed some roles around

[mrs-monaghan]

Hey shaz, I've seen people question why we need more jikookers banding together and I wanted to address another side of it. ( This may get long sorry!) Yes ttkkers are getting way too comfortable invading jkk spaces but besides the fights they start....they also hurt alot of new and more casual media-using jikookers.

Not those insecure ones, but those who genuinely love and support jikook but may not be in the ideal headspace to combat these people. I'm not a big social media user and I've met so many other jikookers who feel the same and just use Twitter and media to appreciate jkk and engage with content they enjoy. No one asks for drama, but then you have tkkers there shuting down curiousity and engagement from the onset. They attack stupidly yes, but for ppl new to this, or not strong enough for that fight..its enough to leave a traumatic impression. And it's bloody ironic this happens to the new jikook community when tk is the first ship that most new fans get recommended and indoctrinated into!

Especially in this "drought" before MS, please remember to take care of yourself and your mental health first. And definitely keep in mind that to support jikook, jk and ESPECIALLY Jimin..you have to be willing to play the long game. Trust in these two and their relationship. That the truth will out eventually, that they KNOW they have people out there who support them and that everything will work out.

Tkkers will make something out of nothing so you better believe they will always have "explanations or connections" for every little thing Tae and jk. They have the advantage of bending their narrative however they need. Jikook, however, is a real couple with real problems, and moments. They will never play to a narrative so we won't always get these "easy loud moments" all the time. THEY determine what to show and they determine when to show it..all we can do is try to understand NOT impose a narrative. Yes, I understand it gets frustrating when you see tae and Jk moments being twisted by tkkers while jkk are laying low. Tkkers always be loud for no reason, rather than let those things get to you, appreciate the subtly of a different jikook right now. Enjoy that these moments we get are left there for each other and for us who they know will understand. Those who get it, will get it and whose who don't will be writing wattpad narratives to explain jikookery👌

Idek why we listen to people who loudly claim Jkk haven't seen eo all year. Anyone with a brain would know all members are seeing eo at some point we just dk about it. We only found out from RM Minimoni were together recently otherwise we'd have never known that if he didn't tell us. So who knows who else is hanging out and when?

Also as per the logic that what u see is what's real then tkk the real couple have only see eo 5 times all year so far. How does that make sense? These people when they claim things they don't even consider how it will backfire on them. In 6 months tkk have only seen eo 5 times and I'm supposed to believe they're a couple? How?

Its why I hate insecure Jikookers sm because they don't think. Ever. And even worse they listen to people who are absolutely dumb as fcking rocks. I can't respect someone who believes anything a tkkr has to say. I simply can't.

But everything anon said was true. However can I just say as bad as twitter is you can only see what u want to see? If you curate your timeline properly you shouldn't be able to see their shit. Very many Armys are on twitter and don't even know what goes on half the time. Especially Armys who don't ship and are on twitter for BTS and other things. They are completely blind to the fighting half of the fandom does. It's absolutely possible. Just follow the right people and block anyone with a tkkr sign on their bio and u should be good. Also Suga solos are moving like tkkrs now in terms of dragging Jimin every chance they get so u might wanna watch out for those, too.

Oh also unfollow Jikookers like me who fight alot with these people because then u will definitely see that crap on your timeline 😂

Gd luck! 😘

[stormyoceans]

hi monica! maybe you don't wanna talk about this and that's okay, you don't have to answer this, but i just wanted to come here because your blog is a safe space for me and i know you enjoyed vegaspete's story as much as i did (you even made the experience more enjoyable for me during the kp days tbh). i haven't been following the cast or biblebuild a lot since the fandom became extremely toxic imo but the news of build resigning made me sad for some reason, i can't even explain why but i feel so bad... these last few days were a confirmation of how vile and nasty the fandom is and maybe that's also the reason i'm feeling like this. idk, like idek what's the point of this ask i guess i just want to know if you're okay or if you understand me, vegaspete was a great ship and i was kinda excited for 4min so the way things have ended are just the worst... i even feel bad for feeling bad because the allegations were pretty serious for me to be feeling bad for him/this whole situation... anyway yeah. it's all very confusing and it sucks, i've never experienced this before... hope you're okay and take care, sending you a hug xx

hello, anon!!!

first of all, im really happy to know that you consider my blog a safe space, because this is what it is for me and what i'd like it to be for the people who follow me as well!!! this is also why i tend to avoid talking about certain topics on here, though, because they're just very upsetting and life is already hard enough as it is, so i'd rather focus my energies on happier things

im also slightly older than the average user base and i've been in fandom for most of my life, which means that i've actually witnessed this type of "drama" happen quite a few times before and the one thing i've learned in all these years is that parasocial relationships never end well. to me actors are simply a vessel through which characters and stories come to life, so i never get particularly involved in them as people or in their personal life, and even when that happens (like with jimmysea in these last few months) im very aware of the boundaries and of how much im gonna actually let them affect my life

i don't mean to sound condescending, so i hope this isn't how im coming off right now, but this is just to say that i have a lot of experience and thicker skin and im doing fine because i know how to deal with it, didn't care about build himself, and haven't been too involved in the fandom in a while. however, this doesn't mean i can't understand you or that there was never a time where i did let myself care about an actor way too much and get thoroughly disappointed, and precisely because it did happen to me in the past, i know how upsetting this entire build and poi situation can be

i don't know if this can be of any help, but i think it's completely valid to feel sad about it and about the repercussions that's going to have, even if it's just about a ship or a show. i personally don't believe that caring about those means you don't care about the allegations or the real people involved in this, because they're things that made you happy and that you were looking forward to and that made life a little bit more bearable, so it makes sense that you would feel bad at the idea of losing them, it's just human

that being said, i think at this point we should all just take a huge step back from this situation and let the law deal with it. it happened and there's nothing we can do, except being kind to each other. there are still other things to be excited about and that can bring us happiness, it's just a matter of finding them, so just take care of yourself and take all the time you need to deal with what happened. i hope you can feel better soon, anon, im sending you a hug too!!!!