#idc that's there's no people active rn
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Oh I do not like that two of my ships right now has someone that's deeply oppressed on a systematic level in their story having to set aside their own morals and values for their extremely privileged lover who does not bother to truly understand their pain, often trying to make excuses for the oppressors.
#jayjon#caitvi#LOOK IT'S DEEPLY PERSONAL TO ME#I am very privileged on many fronts but also not#i don't like white people#people are trying to justify caitlyn rn#if it looks like a cop and talks like a cop it's a COP#she didn't need to go this far#she didn't need to fucking poison the air the people of zaun breathe#she didn't need to be so brutal- that was a choice#and none of this got her any closer to jinx#Jinx fucking lured her in#HER GIRLFRIEND WHO SHE SHOULD LOVE IS ZAUN#Idc if cait was raised with these kind of thoughts#i'm allowed to be mad at the fascist in the making idc idc#Vi suffered SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE OF ENFORCERS#enforcers killed her parents- they put her in prison for practically all of her childhood#Mel lost her home-her mother is actively conspiring against her- she lost her brother- and yet she KNOWS when it's too far#cassandra gave her the damn key hoping cait would be better#she sure as fuck is totally respecting her mom right by using the thing she made to POISON PEOPLE#'she's grieving- she's depressed'- she's calling people animals i don't think she was too far from this kinda mentality#like why is it such a steep slide for her?#her environment shaped her yeah but that's an explanation- not an excuse to go easy on her#again- MEL MEDARDA#also jon asking jay to fucking go easy on Nia when she COLONIZED HIS COUNTRY SHUT THE FUCK UP
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jing yuan and yanqing are giving zhongli and xiao if the latter’s canon relationship was Actually fanon’s made up father figure/adopted child dynamic
#idkkkkkkkkkkkkk who looks at zx and is like 'you know what. this is a healthy parent child relationship'#like girl by fitting them into father son boxes you are actively making their relationship imbalance Worse#if you do that and dont shy away from it i respect that but if you say dad/son makes their relationship more wholesome or whatever like WHY#now i wont deny shippers might do that too but i see the dad son version so much i think im just averse to it by default#also because i think father son makes people actively Try to make their relationship something that its not and it erases a bunch of subtlet#subtleties in it. it's the nuanced r/ship -> entirely unproblematic and flavorless r/ship that i hate#also the number of people who'll block if you ship zx. like damn thats crazy you guys really think theyre father son (fake)???#at their peak they're like. 4000 year old guys who have too much history and repression and some weird entanglement of 'nah im bothering him#too much' and 'gotta protect him w my life' complexes. and then this devolves into theyre never gonna kiss until 3000 more years have passed#listen they just Contain Multitudes idc if you dont ship it just dont make it into dad and son and we will be so gucci#jing.yuan and yanqing are like different i think mostly bc yanqing is actually like a minor and jing yuan is also a normal ish person#plus the light cone and the abouts?? yeah this is an actual like adopted parent/child thing#also good or bad news i caved and am now playing hsr. the plan is to pull yanqing and then go on infinite hiatus in the game 👍#JWKFLJWEK i dont think theres really any draws for me besides him. personally neutral on turn based combat and the open world isn't giving#the only saving grace i have rn is 1) ive gotten to the part where bron.seele is real and man theyre gay 2) trailblazer trio 3) tall female#mc 4) everyone has way better emoting abilities than genshin 5) su.shang's really cute <3#the story doesnt really interest me though its like cool but not mindgrippingly interesting#tbf i think genshin is the same way storyline wise (at the beginning) but the difference is that turn based combat isnt really my thing LMAO#ramblings!#zhongxiao#if you want to filter it out ??
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i am so angry about being alive it's not even funny anymore
#what's the point in any of this 😐 i will literally never be okay. i never have been okay. I've had debilitating anxiety since birth#it's not going to go away it's literally getting worse as i grow older and so is my depression#hate to hear ppl say it gets better when I've been gradually getting worse since i was like 13#which is extremely funny. bc when i was 13 is when most of my suicide attempts took place#at least i was active and took initiative back then 🙄 i only became too tired to keep trying since#i don't want to kill myself i just want to be dead. I'm tired. I'm angry. I'm always feeling awful. nothing is worth it#even when i feel good it's like 1% of how bad i always feel. and it's not like there's much good to go around anyway#i don't understand now people don't constantly feel like losing their mind over how shit life is truly#there's this line in nlh actually. where yozo asks how come ppl don't constantly want to kill themselves. and yeah felt#i can barely distract myself anymore bc nothing is stimulating enough esp when I'm alone#and i don't. care enough. about anything. to want to stay alive. like i said nothing is worth it. idc if ppl would be sad sorry#i don't even know what I'm saying anymore man. idk why I'm doing so bad rn. it's been a tough week ig.#nothing actually happened but everything is just. less than average. a little worse than neutral. just enough to be grating#i don't want to kill myself but i wish i could#wish i wasn't a coward wish i didn't fear permanent damage or hospitals or even just pain i have no control over#nothing happened but everything sucks. existence is disappointing. i would like to stop#vent#suicide //#negative //#ask to tag#i genuinely don't know what to do now. i can't distract myself. i probably shouldn't fall asleep when I'm like that#(at least if i don't want to have nightmares like i did all week and for tomorrow to be even worse)#tbh i doubt i even COULD fall asleep like that lol my brain's working too fast as usual 😐#sigh. sorry for the vent. trying to clear some of the dirt off my psyche
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genuinely baffling to me how much of a victim complex some skk shippers have
YEAH yeah aouhghh-
like,, its one thing if people were actively harassing/bothering them but there is no reason for Those Types of skk-ers to be So Upset about other ships just existing (and to just,,doing the same things that they do in terms of relating/redrawing other ships moments to theirs)
I mean come on,, just look the other way,, no need to cry cuz someone chose to make Dazai to kiss different colored pile of pixels today
#the hypocrisy again just really gets me like- WHY ARE U SO upset abt other shippers relating their ship to ur ship's quotes/scenes#when you guys MANY TIMES have done those exact things yourself :'') like yeah im sure it's annoying for both sides but glass houses y know#idk I just ?? it's just wild to me.#they dominate the fandom in such a WILD way I've never seen for how much content they have in proportion to other ships KFJHKF#and it would be fine if they were like... just normal about it but why do so many treat it like it's an entire fucking war KFHFK#u don't need to comment 'I don't ship this cuz I ship x but its cute too ig' on every post u see wth a non x ship just IGNORE IT#u don't see any other ship doing that with their ship regularly like they do (at all personally but don't wonna say it never has happened)#and before anyone gets upset and is like 'oh kite but aren't u actively doing that rn?'#no cuz i only complain abt them when they're actively harassing/bothering other shippers for NO REASON </3 if I was doing the same thing I-#-would want people to call me out too but im not cuz idc who u ship characters with if i don't like it'll ill just block/mute and move on -#cuz im a big fucking kid with grown up feelings and adult levels of empathy and know how to Not invade their spaces just cuz I ship someth
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still posting d/mp is like so depressing for the amount of people who you see still supporting that guy . hi guys I've been offline for three years i sure hope that my favourite gamerboy didn't horrifically abuse his platform
#vwoop.noises#Over and Over and Over again.#You can't block from sides on mobile and I'm too lazy rn I just need to snipe people from my activity feed#Sorry 4 talking about that fella still but like. Idk. As someone Still in this space actively. Every day I am surprised#and sorry 4 no tags bc I don't want people who live in dscourse tags to come for me <3 Idc enough#It isn't like. A Lot. for the record. And they're incredibly transparent when you see them. They are just annoying.#You can do what you want. I guess. Truly I am not going to stop you. But I AM blocking for having to see cringe urls in my notes
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being out of the mcytblr loop is rly funny bc shit just happens now and im completely unaware of it until somebody posts something with no tags and no context that makes me go down a rabbit hole trying to figure out wtf is up
#shit self#i have like 3 big mcyt tags filtered now just bc im not into those fandoms but i dont wanna unfollow people#but it has caused me to literally never know what people are talking about#and id like to know but also when ur entire dash is made up of servers u dont have time or energy to get into#its like. well what else can u do but filter and just have fomo sometimes#< also partially why im less active. hard to post when im not hyperfixated on anything rn and my dash#is just stuff idk or idc about most of the time#said with love like im glad all my mutuals were able to find new interests post dsmp i just. havent been able to#blrghhh
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i would like to express three blanket statements for everyone in the notes:
- yes i obviously know that calling people ‘family’ is a way of referring the other queer people. this is evident in the fact that i used that fucking word in the post jesus christ guys you don’t need to try and inform me of this
- related, but this was a rhetorical post. i do not need advice on how to talk to people. i am involved with real life trans groups and am well versed in how to subtly talk to people. i literally made this post while on break from my bad customer service job after seeing multiple trans customers
- maybe this is a me problem but people having dysphoria from being seen as trans is sad to me. like i sorta get it but also hm maybe work on ur self hatred idk. being trans is a joy
reading comprehension questions:
consider the targeted demographic of this post. then consider, do you dislike this demographic? if so, please try changing your opinion or at least scroll away and stop bothering me about it
did the author make reference to old forms of queer communication? if so, it seems like he is familiar with the concept and perhaps refrain from informing the author about it
why might have the author, at first glance, described dysphoria as self hatred? did he really do this, or does he rather acknowledge that one facet of dysphoria stems from depression and deprecation? consider why someone might not want to be seen as trans. is it for safety reasons, or because they have yet to unlearn the perceived shame of being trans, or any other multitude of reasons? any reason is perfectly valid but one may wish to examine their opinions on the cis view of the trans body
seeing trans ppl in public is literally life giving. wish there was a normal way to express to other trans people in public that we’re family and that i love them
#the second one is perhaps a hot take but idc my activity is annoying as fuck rn#*third one. whatever sorry#other posts have said this much more eloquently but obviously yes dysphoria is real and sucks etc#and you cant just make it go away by thinking positive thoughts or whatever else like yeah sometimes you do need hrt or srs or the like#that said. a lot of dysphoria for me and also a lot of other ppl ive seen CAN be eased when you stop hating yourself#like. surround yourself with trans ppl in many stages of transition. explore other mindsets (ie no medical transition etc)#even if they don’t apply to you because that person’s experience is no less valid etc#take a note from body neutrality/positivity people#stop giving a shit what cis people think#there are so many things that genuinely ease suffering and it wont work for everyone but wallowing is never the way to go sorry#like i have nothing against you people and i wish you all well. BUT. i am worried for you#because.. when you get hrt or any surgery…. it wont magically fix your depression you also have to do the work yourself#YOU have to unlearn the cis normative view about how bodies look#well idk. some people as with any marginalized identity go oh! im trans! therefore i cant be transphobic#without unpacking any of the transphobic bullshit that is ingrained in society and themselves#NOT saying that people with bad dysphoria are transphobic of course not. i dont think most of the people in the notes are at all#it is however a related concept okay. no bad faith interpretations of this reblog allowed#SOMEONE had to sit here and read everyones tags and replies and after 22k notes hes a bit ticked off#sorry 4 being a spiteful transsexual fagdyke idgaf#trans
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not my mom pulling the lesser of two evils thing. there is no lesser evil anymore. there never really was to begin with. they are all fucking despicable genocide supporters who have no purpose besides funding and cheering for the war machine. i don't fuckin care anymore fuck the election I don't have time to go vote anyway. im just gonna send the gas money I would've spent to a palestinian family who actually needs it.
#she said 'im afraid trump will take everyone's rights away. and the cop won't??. it's all different trains going to the same fucking station#ntm they're literally burning ballots and purging voters rn it really does feel pointless#the only thing that's gonna change anything is a revolution and there's so much fucking infighting that that's not going to happen#for at least another few decades#like how do we get it through people's heads that there are literal newborns being blown to pieces and our gvmt is actively funding this#I've seen videos of children covered in blood with their poor little bodies full of shrapnel i don't fucking care about that cop bitch#or the wannabe insurrectionist#i want to see the people of both Palestine and america liberated from their struggles#i want to see a world at peace#but we keep letting bloodthirsty warmongers run our fucking country and they keep paying other countries to destroy their 'enemies'#who are literally just people trying to live their own lives#and third party never wins so fuck it idc who wins either way nobody else does and the policies are going to be the same no matter what#bc there is no real two party system they are all just cogs in the war machine who will do nothing but funnel money into killing innocents#besides if trump loses he'll just try to stage another fucking coup so fuck it
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I’m gonna call Q later and I might tell her what’s going on bc I’ve been watching n reading a ton of stuff relating to amenorrhea and I’m scared but I can’t recover alone I need someone to know
#I might even tell my mom but lie and say I think it’s all stress related bc I have been super stressed#Bc my mom would order supplements that could help#rn I’m just making sure I take my vitamins everyday bc the have omegas +coq10#I’m reducing my exercise and putting magnesium cream on my stomach#And trying to eat closer to my bmr which is probably the hardest#I don’t think it’s too bad yet but after watching those videos I can tell my amenorrhea is getting worse so I need to do something now#or I risk osteoporosis which is my biggest fear rn#funny that all the videos I want all these people were concerned with how amenorrhea would affect their fertility#idc about that but Im an active-ish person and I don’t want osteoporosis to be an issue when I’m doing things#I like dirt biking you can’t do that shit with weak bones#screaming
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rq pointing out in seoul, south korea on some subway trains they literally play cartoons about etiquette on the little screens above the doors and seats. no sound either iirc you just see it. <3
youtube
they kick him off the subway :) that is the proper etiquette for this situation <3
they do all kinds of cute etiquette videos for the subway including some from pororo himself and their little subway mascot. at least from what I saw on the couple subways I took. it’s different subways since they all play different stuff but like you can check them out if you want. apart from this they’re regular subway videos!
We failed as a society when everyone stopped wearing headphones.
#no koreaboos interact please and thank you#not a koreaboo or bts stan or korean answering machine im literally korean american and face that shit irl thanks#will say also the seoul subway is one of the cleanest and updated ones I’ve ever been to. it’s great#^this is meant for people who are actively fetishizing koreans and asians rn idc if ur reading this and liking the music or kdramas#it’s a lot sometimes#anyways also fuck people who listen to music in public wo headphones or god forbid those stupid speakers#playing music in public just tells everyone ur taste in music is pure shit#also just gonna say there’s another video thats rly sweet with pororo pointing out etiquette and a korean sign translator <3 which was fun
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I AM NOT UR GF -
[ ot7 x reader ]
SEOKJIN -
y/n: i’ll kill you
jin: i’m into that
y/n: ur going to hell
jin: i’ll take you with me
y/n: i’m going to heaven i’m an angel
jin: my angel
y/n: gross
jin: only for you
y/n: we are not together
jin: ???
sorry i can’t read
y/n: clearly
jin: take ur clothes off
y/n: ???
jin: sorry autocorrect
y/n: why did you tell the boys we are dating?
jin: i did?
lmao yeah i did
sorry i could never lie to the loml like that
y/n: what?
jin: ur on my will
y/n: happy one day to us 🥂❤️
jin: i like being used
y/n: yk what i’m having second thoughts
jin: as long as it’s you using me
y/n: uncomfortable rn
jin: i’ll make you comfortable
y/n: ur the cause
jin: ur my cause ❤️
y/n: what does that even mean??
jin: kiss me
y/n: leave me alone i’m tired
jin: i’ll build you a bed
y/n: what
jin: i cook
y/n: ur like 62
jin: age is a construct
y/n: ur gonna get arrested with a mindset like that
jin: would go to jail 10x over for you
y/n: out of context this looks insane
jin: you make me insane
and keep me sane ❤️
y/n: what
are you drunk?
jin: a bit
y/n: yikes
jin: my hips work
y/n: i would hope so?
jin: use me
y/n: you need to be put down immediately
JIMIN -
y/n: ummmmm?????
jimin: ummmmm?????
y/n: i am not ur gf
jimin: ummmmm?????
y/n: why are you telling people i’m ur gf
jimin: ummmmm?????
y/n: ummmmm?????
jimin: i thought it was time to tell people
y/n: tell people lies???
jimin: we are always together anyways i am doing us a favour tbh
y/n: “am” so ur still actively telling people that we are together?
jimin: ur so smart this is why i love you 😘
y/n: so were you in love with me when you flirted with the waitress right in front of me when we went out YESTERDAY?
jimin: why were you jealous?? 😏
y/n: ur actually insane like clinically insane
jimin: it was a moment of weakness babe 🥺
y/n: moment of weakness??
you have like 20 of those a day
jimin: omg i’m just a natural flirt yk i can’t help it 😞
y/n: i think the word ur looking for is whore?
jimin: I AM NOT A WHORE
y/n: yeah ok
jimin: unless you want me to be a whore then i’m the biggest whore you know honestly and truly!!!!!!
y/n: ur gross
jimin: ofc i’ll marry you!
y/n: ???
jimin: wow i’m so emotional rn
i love you i’m so excited for our future
i know some people may say we’re moving to fast but idc the truth is that i’m so in love with you i can hardly breathe!!!
y/n: get actual help.
HOSEOK -
hobi: we
y/n: no
hobi: us
y/n: no
hobi: hands held
y/n: no
hobi: mouth 2 mouth
y/n: still no
hobi: i told my parents about us
y/n: ur mother is gonna beat ur ass for lying
hobi: i told the boys about us
y/n: we are not together
hobi: the company is next
y/n: you won’t live to see another day if you do
hobi: i hope our kids have ur eyes
y/n: i can report you for harassment you know?
hobi: my pretty gf
i love you ^^
y/n: blushed for a second
that’s all you’ll ever get out of me
hobi: ur soosososososo cute
σ(≧ε≦σ) ♡
i’m gonna eat you
y/n: this isn’t right
hobi: this is the rightest thing ever
y/n: go outside or something
hobi: come with me
y/n: there is no hope for the kids these days 😞
JUNGKOOK -
y/n: DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING IT IS TO BE FLIRTING WITH THE KIM MINGYU AND FOR HIM TO BE LIKE “ARE YOU NOT DATING JK?”
jk: i’m going to kill myself
y/n: ARE YOU SICK IN THE HEAD IM GOING TO FIND YOU AND KILL YOU
jk: i’m already dead
y/n: GOOD
jk: i can’t believe you talk to other men
oh my god i cjant breathe rn iMmm loosing vision hhe lp mmme…
y/n: IM SO FUCKING EMBARRASSED WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU OH MY GODODJD
jk: so like did you did you tell him we’re together or…
y/n: NO U SICKX SICK FUCK
I TOLD HIM NO IM NOT WITH FUCKING JUNGKOOK ARE YOU OUT OF UR MIND
jk: wow
in all caps like that?? a bit harsh
y/n: FUCK YOU
jk: pls stop shouting yk im a sensitive soul
y/n: WHY DID YOU TELL HIM WE ARE TOGETHER????????
jk: i didn’t tell him directly omg?
i messaged him
y/n: WTF IS UR PROBLEM????
jk: WAIT DID YOU JUST SAY YOU WERE FLIRTING WITH MINGYU?????????????????????
WHAT THE FUCKCKCKDK
y/n: i hate you
i’ve never wanted to push someone out of a building so bad until i met you
jk: that’s kinda cute
you think of me??
i love you too
y/n: you have 3 days to live
jk: as long as i’m with you nothing can take me out
y/n: shut the fuck up
yk know whose taking me out tho?
mingyu 🥰
jk: what
y/n: ?
jk: i have dispatch on the phone rn
y/n: tell them
being mingyu’s gf publicly? a dream come true tbh 😍
jk: when ur new bf is kicked out his group becomes broke and is living on the streets i’m sure ur dream will be alive and well
y/n: oh it will
with my baby through thick and thin 🤞🏽
jk: i’m going to kill myself
y/n: idc!
jk: i love you
TAEHYUNG -
y/n: stop telling people we are dating i will block you
tae: did you know i need u girl was about you
y/n: didn’t even know you then
tae: i’ve always known you
y/n: creepy as hell
tae: to some
y/n: to all
tae: why don’t you want me
y/n: ur not mark lee
tae: i’m kim taehyung
y/n: exactly
tae: you could get jumped for saying stuff like that these days
y/n: oh well
it was worth it
tae: i wish you knew
i wish you knew i wanted you
y/n: i know
and you got the lyrics completely wrong
tae: my lyrics may be wrong but my feelings for you aren’t
y/n: are you not with jennie?
tae: stfu?
y/n: loser
tae: she’s not my type
you are 😘
y/n: wishing i was jennie hours 😞🙏🏽
tae: you’ll will literally never be happy without me
y/n: that’s so crazy cuz i’m like over the moon rn
tae: that’s because i’m messaging you
y/n: pretty sure it’s because i’m not with you but whatever helps you sleep at night
tae: you help me sleep at night
y/n: tough
tae: :(
YOONGI -
y/n: i’m ur girlfriend now?
yoongi: what?
y/n: you’re telling people i’m your girlfriend?
yoongi: might be true might be false
y/n: kinda crazy
yoongi: do you not want to me my girlfriend?
y/n: no?
yoongi: 😢
y/n: cry me a river
yoongi: i will
then i’ll drown myself in it
y/n: dramatic much?
yoongi: i just got my heart broken can you have someone sympathy
y/n: L
yoongi: maybe like kiss me on the lips or something and i’ll be better idk tho
y/n: is min yoongi being open and honest with me rn???
times have changed i must say
yoongi: having a gf does that to a man
y/n: really?
yoongi: yep being in love is crazy
y/n: love? so it’s pretty serious between you two then?
yoongi: yeah i’m gonna marry her
y/n: wowwww how long have you guys been together then?
yoongi: 3 years in my head but i only started telling people 3 days ago
y/n: you are not right in the head
yoongi: love is crazy
y/n: i think it’s just you fr
yoongi: 🥲
NAMJOON -
y/n: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
namjoon: hi
y/n: shut ur mouth
namjoon: 🤐
y/n: we are NOT together
N
O
T
together
do you understand?
namjoon: 🚫❌⁉️
y/n: well start understanding
namjoon: 🙅🏻♂️🚫
y/n: i’m sick and tired of you
namjoon: 🙎🏽♀️➡️👨⚕️🏥
y/n: bye
namjoon: 🥺
y/n: what is with ur obsession with me???
are you that bitchless omg??
namjoon: logically speaking
y/n: you have never spoke a logical word in your life
namjoon: okay nvm
y/n: namjoon you are down ridiculously bad at first it was cute i WAS blushing and giggling now i’m just concerned
namjoon: date me
y/n: that is NOT how you ask a girl out
namjoon: help me out here
y/n: i will not help you in the slightest
namjoon: that’s just mean
y/n: ur a freak
namjoon: am not
y/n: you so are
namjoon: go on a date with me
y/n: where is the the question mark?? are you asking me or telling me??
namjoon: ur being ridiculous
go on a date with me?
there
y/n: hehehehehhehehehe
okay!!!
namjoon: FR??
y/n: no lol
namjoon: that was so mean
y/n: :p
namjoon: dating me would probably mean free food for life
y/n: probably or definitely?
namjoon: *definitely
y/n: wait i’m kinda in love with you
namjoon: lol me 2 let’s makeout rn
y/n: i lied
namjoon: ur annoying
y/n: mwah
namjoon: did you just kiss me?
are you deeply attracted to me or something?
kinda cringe kinda hot i want you
y/n: didn’t know 2:25 am were your disgustingly desperate hours
namjoon: it’s not my fault it’s 2:25 in the morning and all i can think about is you
should i write i song about you?
would you be my gf then?
y/n: pls don’t
namjoon: it’s too late
y/n: if i go on a date with you will you shut the hell up and go to sleep
namjoon: YES
YESZYSS YES YES YES YES YESH
YESSYESYSYSYYDYD
yes
i might lol
y/n: see you tomorrow
namjoon: gn
y/n: gn
namjoon: gf 🤭
we hit 200 since when omg?? anyways feeling like i should do a “i’m not ur bf” ver but idk yet thoughts? u might get it next year or never but it’s the fact that i thought about writing it that counts!!
#bts crack#bts fanfic#bts fluff#bts imagines#bts fic#bts text#bts x reader#bts x y/n#namjoon x reader#jin x reader#yoongi x reader#hoseok x reader#jimin x reader#taehyung x reader#jungkook x reader#bts texts#rm x reader#suga x reader#v x reader#jhope x reader#hobi x reader#bts fake chats#bts incorrect texts#ot7 x reader
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November 8 - Friday
Whew! Caught up at last!! (took me long enough)
Today was actually pretty good. I called Angel before school which made me really happy!! (I love him sm ill sob rn actually). My class wasn't toooo bad. The teacher talked sooo much ugh, but I drew the whole time so it was fine. I made my oc thinnn n pretty, love him. Also we had to go around the room and talk to people for like 30 minutes. 30. (did yk you have 30 minutes??)
It was so nerve wracking, especially because I was unprepared lol. I bet I looked like such a total weirdo with the lack of eye contact I was making, but at the time I was just trying not to break a nervous sweat LMAO.
Then, after my class I went to the library (on call w/Ange) and did an assignment. I went home afterwards because my phone was gonna die, and I needed my charger.
After a bit at home, I went to my next class, and I had a test in this one. It went good I think! We studied beforehand which I'm really grateful for.
We had a break in this class, so I went to walk around for a minute, and during this my mom texted me with:
"Eli
What did u eat today"
...
nothing. So, I said "I had some chicken nuggetss after my class hehe"
to which she responded "No fries no pop. How many nuggets"
GURL. So i was like "I did get some fries lol? and i got 10 why?"
and she just CONVENIENTLY NEVER RESPONDED. UGH.
(but wait theres more.)
After my class ended I went home and got ready for work. I was otp w/Angel (because seriously when am I not?) and he was playing minecraft. It was so peaceful and entertaining to watch and listen to him play- I loved every bit of it. Then, we talked about how we should play together (I ltrly will do anything to idc).
Work was actually ehh, not toooo bad. My dad and friend and her mom stopped by which was nice, and also my hairdresser LOL. They both tipped really well (obviously my dad did but yk).
I went home after what felt like one billion years, I was so so so happy. When I got home I just said a few things about my day like I usually do, and made sure to slip in the fact that I got a free meal at work. Which isn't wrong, I did, but I didn't get anything. I actually am just gonna let my friend get something tomorrow. but they don't have to know all that shhhhhhhh.
Then my mom stopped in front of me and was like what did you eat? and so i repeated myself bc no one listens to me <3
(I told her fried chicken tenders, fries, mac and cheese for context, a very 'me' meal tbh or at least it was)
Then, she was like "how many chicken tenders?" "no drink?" "did you finish it? all of it?" "so then you ate 2 full meals today?"
oh. my god. like. genuinely.
why. is. she. interrogating. me. pls. fucking. leave. me. alone. IM GENUINELY MORTIFIED AND HONESTLY IM SO AGGRIVATED. LET ME STARVE IN PEACE HOLY FUCK.
I tried to act like a normal person and be like ??? why are you interrogating me? BC WHY ARE YOU (as if I'm not literally starving myself)
She was just like "because I need to make sure you're getting nutrients." ok girl.
Then, I went to my room and she went to bed. I cleaned my room a bit and did a homework assignment, so I'm pretty proud of myself.
Also if you couldn't tell by now I fasted today. I was gonna either 48 hr fast or do 2 24 hr fasts back to back, but I think I'm just gonna do around 36 hrs. I wanna eat in front of my mom tomorrow so maybe she'll start leaving me alone (I seriously doubt it).
It just gets really frustrating when every meal I have she thinks isn't enough, even when I'm genuinely full. I can't eat like I used to like I physically cannot, she has to get that.
Anywho, I was thinking of making some cucumber boats tomorrow, I think it'll be fun.
Total Steps: 6.7k
Look at me meeting my step goal for once. I'm gonna start really making an effort at meeting it!
'Til tomorrow :)
(P.S. actually getting activity on these makes me so nervous but haiii)
#light as a 🪶#th!nsp0#thinneristhewinner#thinspø#thin$po#tw restriction#light as a feather#3ating d1sorder#th!n$piration#⭐️ ing motivation#putting the ⭐ in ⭐ving#⭐️ve#⭐️vation goals#⭐️rving#tw skipping meals#tw ana bl��g#tw ed ana#tw ana rant#tw 3d vent#tw thinspi
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Hi there!how are you?! Could you write hc about the life of ash lynx x (fem)reader in which they've get rid of dino golzine? Please take your time and thank you!!
hii OMG so sorry this took quite a bit of time to do!! 🌻 had to revisit some BF stuff just to refresh my mind lmao,,
(^▽^" ) 💛💛💛
and i'm doing quite well THANK YOU DEAREST ANON!! 💕💕 hoping you're doing well too!! 💖💖💐💐 and i tried my best w/ this so i'm sorry if it's not to your liking!! :")
. dividers by @/cafekitsune ! 💛
first things first, of course, life would be way more peaceful as ever for ash. he doesn't particularly need to feel worried as much. his guard is still up at times ofc, but not as bad as bef.
which means he is able to see you freely now.
and like, he might leave the whole gang/mafia stuff behind, just to try pursuing a normal life with you.
with your constant support ( and maybe sometimes he wouldn't admit it ), he'll get through it well! <33
and i couldn't really decide but-- i feel like he wouldn't need much studying anymore anyway bc of his IQ level :")
buuuuut if he ever did, he probably would've wanted to take the same classes as you do if possible. i mean, he isn't that, yk introverted or anything. he still possesses the feeling of deep mistrust toward people, and i feel like maybeee it's smth he might do.
but yeah i also feel like he would try to actively avoid the whole school stuff. he wouldn't want to be asked with unnecessary questions about his past, lifestyle, etc.
he already wishes to live a normal life, after all.
and like, i somehow able to imagine him working as a barista/waiter of some sort for some reason?? idk why.
anyway, life would still be much better despite on whatever he decided to do ( away from the whole old stuff he experienced ).
he's still healing himself; both physically and mentally. and whatever your role might be around this time-- either as his best friend or even as his girlfriend, you would've support him either way.
just know that ash appreciates you a LOT. even when sometimes he doesn't even know on how to express it that well :")
okay so if the romance route happens somehow, he would be taking you out on a casual date during your break days or even his. depending on your schedules.
but his protective and cautious instinct is still present as always. he wouldn't want anything to potentially harm you when he's trying to move on from his old life with you.
his trauma and his past still haunt him at times, so he's just so, so lucky and grateful that you're there with him even during his lowest moments.
if he ever works or something, you probably will join him so you both work together in a way ( if it's smth you're able to do ).
you both def would live together if you two finally got some stable jobs ( or if you're still studying somehow, part-time job then ); separating the bills smth like that so you both would pay in a fair amount for the monthly rent and even for the groceries stuff.
omg dunno why but the idea seemed comforting-
he wouldn't mind for anything else bc if it meant to live a normal life with you, then so be it.
eiji and shorter would def pay you both a visit occasionally 10000% ( idc this will be my canon now )
i wanted to add more but i'm quite short on ideas rn :") TY FOR REQUESTING HIM OMLL <333
@luneariaa. do not repost; reblogs are alright. all rights reserved.
#aria's post 𖥔 ݁ ˖#banana fish#ash lynx#ash lynx x reader#ash lynx x you#ash lynx x y/n#eiji okumura#shorter wong#banana fish x reader#i'm running low on sleep so there might be typos and stuff :“)
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;u; I'll be real idc who wins the election I just hope they add another Spanish speaker-
and like that's not flack at any of the Spanish speakers on the smp at all I just wish we had more people who tend to make stream content on a server that is primarily used for streaming- like-
like Spreen isn't interested in coming back, Missa doesn't primarily stream for his stuff, I think Vege is doing an event in another game rn, idk when Luzu is coming back, or when Rubi is planning to log on consistently again, and I think Mariana said he was taking a break from minecraft (I don't know for sure tho feel free to correct me on that)- So it's just down to Roier and Maxo- and Q now that he's starting to be more active again- and I like those 3 a lot... but I do wish we had more Spanish speakers on is all ;u;
#literally I only have two wants for the new member and it's 1) not a man 2) Spanish speaker- LOL#full post under readmore because... I am shy 😳👉👈#edit: the people saying Rivers should be added are SO BASED AND CORRECT btw
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the whole situation with [REACTED] is really funny to me because idc about someone very disingenuously calling me a genocide denier on the basis of being a marxist, like that's very par for the course, but the fact she simultaneously went on to platform an israeli anon acting as if the ongoing palestinian genocide is unprecedented is so goofy. like i didnt have to even do anything to incite that, she had already softblocked me and then decided yeah im gonna double down and cross the line from 'shitty take that can be excused as anger' to 'actively displaying the fact my apparent position is completely performative and actually i very much believe a settler-colonial state wouldn't be systematically killing and displacing indigenous people if it wasnt headed by a right wing party'. be real rn
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yeah, tell me you have no empathy without telling me you have no empathy :) I’d suppose you don’t even stan nct so why you ended up here idk, but this isn’t a moment to fight!? and over that, absolutely fucking not. like, you can’t deny the fact you’re attacking me/trying to pick a fight because why you are bringing up other groups and their silence about palestine? this is a WHOLE different situation. we’re talking about a man who is involved in a sex crime and we know this is 99% true with how sm handled the situation. this is not about kpop. this is not about who’s better as a stan!?
now about the members being with him, I mean, just how you said it and brought it up, I know you don’t stan or used to stan nct, whatever your feelings are. you have no concerns whatsoever, you use skull emojis like it’s a big fat joke, and it’s even brought up as a mocking way. the concerns about if they knew or not is valid, after all we were all shocked by the news and disgusted to hear that, especially from a member like taeil who we would have confidently said wouldn’t ever hurt a fly. but obviously, we thought wrong and we don’t even know how to process this (again, he was immediately kicked out of the group by how serious the case is. nobody saw it coming). but you clearly don’t care about any more potential offenders, as long as it’s not your faves, right? idk, this reaction is just straight up vile im my opinion. I know disgusting people are using this in fan wars as usual because they have no sense of morality, but seeing it in my dms? by one of my own followers probably? yeah, just shows me some of you are really devoid of any empathy. you don’t care about the victims, like I just answered an ask that was sympathizing with taeil and literally not believing the victims, and you tell me to calm down?? ofc I’m not calm like half the people right now because they learned that the person they liked is in fact horrible and has hurt people in the most cruel ways! I just stood up for what I believe in and it’s that no matter what, victims should be believed. this is not rumours about dating, this is not ‘pick a side’, the only right thing to do is not support taeil in any way and show that you believe the victims. give your support to them and to SA survivors in general.
and lastly, how is fanfiction promoting nct? like, am I getting a bill by sm for doing it? idk why I’m specifically getting laughed at by you and attacked when we’re more than that in the fandom, right? or am I the only one? idk. let’s repeat that taeil was kicked out of nct. he is no longer doing activities, he will not appear anywhere, like basically sm do not want to do anything with him anymore which is good!! that man doesn’t deserve a career. I don’t even think he’s gotta get money anymore, but in the end, I wasn’t giving him a boost or promoting his ass by writing fanfiction about his members. idk why the entirety of nct should be brought down too, saying they knew is just speculations and honestly speculations can be very harmful too. the news are fresh, and I’m still sick about it. idk why I’m getting attacked by randos on the internet for still having fics up on a blog that literally has 200 followers. like idk what’s your goal, but it’s not as truthful as you think it is. it’s not helping anyone and surely not the actual victims. dw, I saw your other ask and it’s just stupid and insensitive. I’m very serious rn, and I honestly don’t think you are. I wrote a lot but idc, this is not your silly ‘gotcha’ moment, this is real lives that have been destroyed by someone famous who deserves jail time for all the horrible shit he did.
#they were blocked#I know I said I wouldn’t answer#but this is serious guys and I need you all to know this isn’t an okay way to react#please do better and unfollow me.
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