#id read that part before at least twice but i had no idea about the extra layer of significance

[lotussokka]

finished itsb yesterday mood

final chapter of itsb just posted mood

[pluralsword]

If we had a nickel for every time two highly skilled transformer warriors with back stacks experienced medical malpractice from a high ranking antagonist that changed their physical form we’d have two nickels but it is super weird that it’s happened twice.

And even weirder when you consider that the old forged form of the canonical trans woman’s one is based off the 1980s reformat design of the g1 iteration of the character who went through this in 2003...

A bunch of trans folks including us talk with good reason about how Jhiaxus forcibly assigned trans gal Arcee her first lanky bot mode and car shape including her alt mode based on his idea of what a woman was (and not entirely her own wants) and with unnecessary procedures while conscious. As people who read our stuff like Addendum know we think it’s interesting when we account for the intentional 2012-2018 writing of Arcee as a sapphic trans woman to navigate a unique parallel lens on transmisogyny, medical gatekeeping, androcentrism, imperial progressivism and so forth...

But did you know that in 2003 Starscream forcibly inserted a new alt mode into big thigh Megatron in Dreamwave Armada and it was painful?

WTF Starscream. Internalized transphobia is not a good look for you dear. /j Nor is medical malpractice.

The image in question, this came up during some comic reading with some friends today (please note we use she/her pronouns for Dreamwave Armada Megs because that was the only way our brain could respond to the text with a laugh. Like, years of one of two of Arcee’s canon trans iterations as of 2022 on in our thoughts for years is why probably lmao):

[[ ID: Armada Starscream stabs something into Armada Megatron from behind with a SHHHK! sound, and Megatron screams with an “Arrrgh!.” She turns around and grabs a fearful Starscream by the throat and says: “Why you ungrateful, back stabbing- I should kill you where you stand!”

Megatron reels back in pain, still holding onto Starscream’s neck, who smiles calmly saying: “Relax Megatron. What’s wrong? Don’t you trust me? I just inserted a new download into your system. It should take effect any second now, so stop acting like a paranoid fool... ...and let the download work it’s magic.” End ID. ]]

Anime Armada Starscream was super cool but oh my gods this particular comic Armada Starscream goes on our list of truly the worst.

The weirdest thing is before reaching this panel we were joking about how Megatron is drawn with large thighs and said “...is Megatron on estrogens or was [she] just forged this way?” And then we read this.

Also for added ridiculousness IDW1 Jhiaxus and Armada Starscream share a body type. Like yes we could be talking about the autonomy violation of how Aunty en masse assigned modes for infiltration on Earth in G1 but at least- least the bots on both sides were unconscious for that.

If we ever get an Armada Megatron toy we are giving her two swords and that is that. It feels extra weird because we grew up with the anime and had no clue that this was happening separately.

Why Megatron x Arcee fanfics aren’t T4T we have no idea /lh /the psychic damage of dreamwave armada at least it’s not g1 dreamwave /wtf

It’s really really nice that later parts of IDW1 along with the whole of IDW2/IDW2019, the Transformers TTRPG, and Earthspark embraced a body autonomy narrative for alt mode that the three in their own ways (Earthspark the most blatantly, closely followed by IDW2) describe as an aesthetic realization, but that kind of reflection is something that crops up much earlier in transformers (a story for another time) while other related things were still being struggled with, that is, gender writing, which we personally think the growth of helped to inform how alt mode writing currently is.

Anyway, that’s another pluralsword ramble.

[riot-control-camp]

WIP Wednesday!

finally starting these! tagged by the mutuals (and others) who put "you, the one reading this" in their tag lists /lh thank you i love you all

i have. SO MANY FUCKING WIPS IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY but the main two i've been working on are as follows!

details under the cut!

1. "Hello My Old Heart"

this is a davey/angel canon-divergence where angel is a wedding planner recruited to assist in the organization of asher and babe's wedding! david did not know about this and he is Not Thrilled that his ex that he parted with under...complicated circumstances is now part of the wedding planning that he can Totally Handle On His Own, Thank You Very Much

Excerpt:

“We haven’t even touched the idea of planning anything yet, because you stubborn shits can’t focus for three fucking seconds,” David points out, smoothing his menu over the booth table. He’s starting to think this is another one of Ash’s half-baked schemes to get him out of the house; they’ve met up to start organizing twice in the past week with no results except a large tab.   “We haven’t done that because you can’t stop lookin’ around like everyone in this bar is planning a flash re-enactment of the Ides of fuckin’ March,” Milo says. “Stop bein’ an idiot.”   “That’s my best man, saving the day from...well, from my other best man,” Asher jokes. “But, I’m serious, buddy. The second we order, Babe’s fancy notebook is coming out to play, alright?”   David growls, because the waiter has come over asking if they’re ready to order at least three different times, only to get waved away without so much as an appetizer to show for it. At this rate, they’ll be here until the bar closes. “Keep lying to yourself, Ash. And you better tip well—we've been hogging the table for an hour and wasting their opportunity to get customers who actually know what they want.”   “We are going to tip excellently,” Asher concedes. “As a group. But until then, drink your drink and try to chill out.”  

2. "Never Love an Anchor" (which should tell you all you need to know about my music taste and how i title things /lh)

this is a magnus archives wip i've had cooking for a long time without a lot of time to dedicate to it, but the conceit is immortal jon and time traveler martin who's been searching for a cure for his mom.

Excerpt:

“You’re back again?” Jon says, like he’s bored of it. It’s one of the worse acts he’s put on, hiding his smile in the folds of his robes instead of keeping it off his face altogether.   “Yes,” says Martin.   “In that case, your books are in the corner, and I’ll get your pallet out from storage--though I expect it’s more mildew than anything else at this point. Still, you’re welcome to it.” Jon points to an unassuming crate in the corner, turned on its side as a bookshelf.   The spines of the books are all dusted. “You didn’t have to do that,” Martin says, flushing helplessly.   “I know,” Jon says as he climbs up to the eaves and pulls the second pallet and its accompanying dust cloud down from its nook.  “It just didn’t seem right to let them rot, and it only took a few moments a day to keep them in working order.”   Martin crosses the room and wraps his arms around Jon’s turned back. “You missed me.”   Jon tenses in surprise, then melts back into him, resting his head on Martin’s shoulder. “Yes,” he admits.  “More than you know.”   Martin nestles his chin on top of Jon’s head, humming contentedly. For a few minutes, they stand there, taking each other in and listening to the rustling of the trees outside.  Martin opens his eyes, not knowing when he closed them and spitting out a tiny bit of Jon’s hair. “So,” he starts a little too knowingly, “are we still pretending that this pallet is actually usable after spending at least a decade up in your attic?”  “I,” Jon says primly, “have no idea what you are implying.” 

that's all folks! sorry for any formatting chaos as i have Not Done This Before (/lh) take care and thanks for reading!

[welcometogrouchland]

I CAN FINALLY POST THIS!! Introducing the "Sasha lives but it's not a fix-it au" >:)

(please please click for quality, rb>likes, etc)

Image ID by @jadeandquartzes

[ID: A five-page comic. The first page is filled with white text against a black background. Along the top and bottom of the background are two rows of doors, sketched out in yellow lines. A face drawn entirely in pink lines grins eerily upwards from the bottom left corner of the background, while in the top right corner, an oval mirror is drawn in blue. The text of the first panel reads:

SASHA: I couldn’t see it, but I could...feel it. I could feel it coming for me. I thought I was dead. But, in my desperation, I started clawing at the walls, looking for...I don’t know what. Something that felt real under my fingernails. But, when I started to scrape, the wallpaper began to...peel off, is the best word for it, I think, but it peeled...more like skin than paper. Underneath the wallpaper...was a door. Old and rickety, partly sealed into the wall. I didn’t think, I just found the handle and pulled as hard as I could. It wouldn’t budge at first, and I thought for sure whatever was chasing me was going to catch me, a-and...but then, with one last burst of strength, I wrenched the door open and flung myself out of those hallways.

I hit the floor, and lay there for a moment...until I saw the floorboards and recognized a tea stain from a mug I’d dropped once when Tim had me doubled over in laughter from a joke he’d told. I could have cried. I was in the archives, I thought I was finally safe… Of course, then Michael showed up and...well you know the rest, don’t you? Statement ends, I suppose.

The second page shows Jon and Sasha sitting across from each other at a desk.

JON: ….right.

SASHA: I know things have probably changed a lot since I’ve been gone. But Jon…

[A close-up on Jon’s eyes]

SASHA: You do believe me, don’t you?

[Jon reaches across the desk and takes Sasha’s hand, and there is a closeup on their hands

together.]

JON: Sasha - more than anything, I’m glad you’re back. And I believe you.

[A cutaway panel shows Jon glancing to the side, sadly and apprehensively]

SASHA: Thank you, Jon.

The third page shows the door of Jon’s office, with pink swirls indicating motion and onomatopoeia indicating that someone is knocking on the door. Tim peeks his head around the door and then Tim and Martin enter together.

TIM: Hey! Um, Martin and I just wanted to see if Sasha wanted some tea?

MARTIN: Hey, Sash.

TIM: Um, if you’re all done here, that is.

[Sasha stands up to leave, before glancing back at Jon]

SASHA: Coming! …..see you soon.

[A separate panel shows the three of them in outline leaving through the doorway, with a closeup on Jon’s face as he watches sadly].

The fourth page shows a closeup of a tape recorder with white buttons and one red button as it is clicked on. Two panels show Jon speaking into the tape recorder with focus. In the first panel, a purple spiderweb is briefly visible behind him, and in the second, a collection of yellow eyes.

JON: Supplemental: I...it sounds awful but I’m not sure how to feel. I should be happy. I am happy. But something doesn’t sit right...at least Tim and Martin seem happy. Sasha’s account does line up date-wise. She first disappeared sometime in late September, roughly a week after my return to the archives and was...and showed up to the archives again on October 2nd, shortly after Helen Richardson gave her statement...and subsequently disappear-was taken by Michael herself. Sasha describes being trapped for a week. Sasha’s description of the hallways seemingly matches with that of Helen Richardson’s but….I...it’s just too easy. I don’t understand why Michael would let her go. Does he want her in the archives? And if so...why? He said...he said “don’t trust the hunter,” but I have no idea what he means by that. I want to accept this at face value, I want to be glad that my coworker, my friend, is back here safe, but I’m not stupid, and I know that’s the most unlikely-...nobody escapes from a monster twice.

The fifth and final page has a background made up of many colorful spirals swirling behind the comic panels, partially forming the hair and face of a person. A panel shows Jon continuing to record, with yellow eyes against the dark blue background.

JON: I don’t want to be paranoid. I want to be grateful...but in Sasha’s statement, when she talked about peeling back the wallpaper and finding the door. Helen’s statement didn’t mention anything like that.

Three more panels show Jon finishing his sentences, then staring off into the distance, lost in thought. The backgrounds are now pink, with eyes and cobwebs still persisting.

JON: It’s almost like Sasha...I don’t know, had more control? Power? But that doesn’t make any sense.

The final two panels are split diagonally, with the left half showing part of Jon’s face against a blue background with yellow eyes, and the right half showing Sasha’s face against a pink background filled with spirals. Jon’s dialogue starts on the left half and concludes on the right.

JON: I’m not going to antagonize Sasha. She doesn’t deserve that. But I will exercise caution. Until I find proof otherwise, I can’t trust -

JON: - that she is not Sasha. END ID]

[ieattaperecorders]

“I’m rambling again aren’t I?” and “Is that okay with you?” for the jmart prompt please :)

Cannon compliant, 1.4k, set at the end of S4. Prompt from here.

---

Cash only, no IDs, change directions at least twice. That was what Basira advised, so they were taking a roundabout route - train to bus to train again, a walk to another station, and then a third train to the outskirts of a town near a village near an isolated cabin. Someplace to hide.

Each time they stopped Jon would grab maps and brochures to stuff in his pockets, studying them carefully during quiet moments. Something about being prepared to act as if they were headed to a different destination if anybody asked.

Nobody did ask, and in any case Jon would have probably looked weird and suspicious, throwing in needless details about whatever place they were meant to be visiting. But it was painfully endearing, the way he poured over them, concentrating like he was prepping for an exam. One hand holding the brochure, the other usually clasped over Martin's or pawing at the fabric of his sleeve.

At one point, Jon's hand absently came to rest on Martin's knee. He flinched -- surprised at the unfamiliar contact, at the intimacy. Then he covered Jon's hand with his own, keeping careful around the edge of the wide, angry scar Jude Perry had left.

It had been so long since anyone touched Jon gently. It had been so long since anyone touched Martin at all.

* * *

There'd been a quick, fearful trip to Martin's flat so he could pack a bag. Jon barely let go of him the entire time, as if scared that he might still disappear. (Maybe he was scared. Maybe he was right to be.) He frowned when, after only a few minutes, Martin zipped up a small bag of clothes and toiletries and said that he was ready.

"You . . . may want to look around a bit," he said softly. "See if there's anything else you want to take. We might not be able to come back here."

"Thought the idea was to get in and out quickly. And shouldn't we be traveling light?"

"We can spare another minute. Besides . . . ." he bit his lip. "You might want to keep a few things. Even if they don't seem important. You may end up missing them if you lose this place."

Martin glanced around. The truth was he'd been living sparsely for a while. Bit by bit, he'd boxed up and donated most of his personal things over the last several months. It had just felt right.

(Jon's flat was long gone. He only had the small satchel he'd been carrying, and a plastic bag of thrift store clothes that Basira had gotten for him.)

He ended up grabbing a few books, a notebook he hadn't written in for a while, a couple of cheap pens, and a scarf that he'd always liked. The small carved box his grandfather had given him ages ago went in the bag too -- he'd never found anything to put in it, but he'd kept it all these years and it still smelled pleasantly like cedar.

Despite Jon's insistence they could spare another minute, he spent the entire time Martin packed bouncing restlessly on his heels, his gaze flicking back and forth between the windows.

"God, it's cold in here," he whispered.

". . . Is it?"

"Yes. Colder than outside . . . noticeably so," Jon looked at him sadly. "You can't feel it?"

Martin shook his head. He hadn't noticed.

"Suppose I'm used to it," he said.

Gravely, Jon nodded. He took Martin's hand and squeezed. Martin held back for a moment, then pointed out it was hard to pack with one hand, and Jon awkwardly let go. Another minute and they were done.

As they made for the door, Martin noticed Jon shivering and thought Basira ought to have gotten him a heavier coat.

"Hold on."

He made a detour to the closet, grabbed one of his thicker jackets and held it out. It would swim on Jon, but at least it was something.

"Dunno if it works on supernatural cold spots, but it'll be cold in Scotland too," he explained. "You'll want more than a windbreaker."

Jon stared at him for a moment, then swallowed heavily and nodded. As he put it on, folding the sleeves back so his hands would fit out, Martin noticed him wiping at his eyes.

Was he tearing up? Why? It was only a jacket, one Martin was probably going to lose anyway.

Jon held his hand all the way to the train station.

* * *

They didn't talk about the Lonely on the train. They didn't talk about any of it there, not the Institute, the entities, the attack. It was all too risky if they were overheard.

Instead, Jon talked about the places they weren't going, the things he read about as they went. Describing historical points of interest or natural features, sometimes adding a jarringly morbid fact that Martin was sure he hadn't gotten from the brochures. He suspected part of it was an attempt to engage him, as Martin found himself going long stretches saying next to nothing.

It was nice, though, listening to him chatter on as if they were out on holiday. Sitting there with the landscape going by, the rumble of the train around them and Jon talking about some landmark or another, Martin could pretend they were just out seeing the sights. Traveling on their own time, without a care in the world.

As it got late into the night, he realized the train car they were in was empty. It was the last one that ran, and there hadn't been many on it to begin with, so it wasn't much of a surprise. But with no one else there, they had a chance to speak more freely.

"Jon?" Martin nudged him, interrupting his description of a stone burial site a few miles down the line.

"Hmm?" Jon started, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry. I'm rambling, aren't I?"

"It's not that. Was just thinking . . . I know the plan is to keep moving, but we'll have to wait for the morning train anyway. Wouldn't make a difference if we got a cheap hotel room or something tonight, would it?"

"Oh . . . no, I don't think it would," he shuffled through some papers in his lap, peering at the train schedule. "Actually, in that case we may want to take the next stop, rather than going to the end of the line. There's a motel near the station that could be perfect. It's cash only, and the only security camera is over the safe."

"Did you See that?"

"Not deliberately. There's just, ah . . . " he winced, "been a lot of really gruesome murders there."

"Ah. Right." Martin raised an eyebrow. "Are we going to get gruesomely murdered if we stay there?"

"Well it's not a service they provide."

"But we do have murderers after us."

"True . . . and I don't think this place would be much protection if they caught up. But the same could be said about a bench outside the train station," Jon shrugged. "And I don't believe it's supernatural, just a bit shady. Which is probably what we want at the moment."

Martin nodded. Then, with a smirk, asked "does it have a pool?"

"Yes. And so many people have drowned in it."

". . . Hmm."

Jon's deadpan look broke into a smile. "I've no idea if there's a pool. Probably not."

"Pfff," Martin reached an arm out over his shoulders, and Jon leaned into the embrace, smiling. "The Beholding didn't think to list amenities, then? Not even an evil laundry service or, like, a continental breakfast that eats you?"

"Thankfully not."

"Good enough for me, then."

He felt Jon chuckle against him and leaned back, yawning loudly, thinking about how nice it would be to lie down in a bed. Jon shifted a little and sighed, looking at him with a smile.

"I love you," he said. Soft and warm, as if he'd said it a thousand times before. As if it was natural and obvious and easy.

Martin must have gone noticeably tense, or maybe his expression changed, because Jon's eyes widened and he looked down, fidgeting. Worried he'd made a mistake.

"Is that, ah . . . okay with you?" he added weakly.

Almost dizzy with it all, Martin let out a breath that turned into an unsteady laugh. He felt tears pricking at his eyes, and he squeezed Jon tighter.

"Y-yeah," he whispered, "yeah Jon. S'good."

[anika-ann]

One Door Closes... (S.R.)

Type: one-shot, pretty much canon

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader     Word count: 2700

Summary: For Steve, your door is always open... or he thinks so. And even when it isn’t, it is.

In which one small Zoom mishap leads to an (un)usual ‘welcome home’.  

Warnings: brief mention of blood and violence, lightest angst, attempt at humour, crack-ish, fluff and language

A/N: For @anjali750, because this is totally her fault. Thank you for inspiring me :-* Have a little bit silly weekend reading, y’all!

“Tell me about it,” Steve encouraged you gently, soft smile playing in the corner of his mouth despite the pain it must be causing him due to his busted lip.

You couldn’t but grin at the lenient picture he made. Feeling blood rush to your cheeks at the thought of him probably calling you cute in his mind if his expression was anything to go by, you obliged, proceeding to tell him about the new project at work.

Your project. Because somehow, you finally earned your boss’ confidence and could bring the great ideas in your mind to life.

You felt so giddy just talking about it! So you started explaining, excitedly gesturing with your hands so Steve would get the right visual and you grew so enthusiastic that you almost forgot to keep an eye on him.

But you were watching him – always.

His lower lip was split, but already healing – it would have healed much faster if he stopped tugging at the healing skin whenever he talked or smiled at you from the screen. He looked a little drowsy, a shadow of a bruise forming on his cheek, but as far as you knew, those were the only injuries he had; that and many hours of sleep to catch up on.

Steve had a habit of calling you via Zoom whenever he got back to the Tower from a mission. He usually took a quick shower and was online until the last second before he had to leave for a debriefing; the only reason why he didn’t head straight to your place.

He admitted once that he loved seeing your face and talking to you even if for a moment after a mission, that it grounded him. On a very sappy and loveable moment, he even called you his sun; and the fact that after few minutes of being with you – as much as technology allowed – his face always seemed brighter, made you think that it truly was how he felt.

Even exhausted as he was now, you could tell his half-lidded eyes shined with life unlike when you started the call.

And so you kept rambling, feeling your heart bursting with love for your man and with euphoria, because goddammit, finally some recognition at work!

“Well, obviously, to reach as much general public as we can, we’re gonna launch a world-wide campaign! World-wide!” you emphasized with a blinding grin, throwing your hands wide to demonstrate.

---and your fingers caught in a cord from the laptop, pulling at it.

Steve’s benevolent face disappeared as your screen went black.

Because of course it did.

You had been talking yourself into buying a new laptop or at least having this one fixed for a few weeks now, because this was always the result whenever you accidently unplugged it. The battery was useless, ready to retire.

“Motherfu--- ugh!“

You wanted to be mad at the device – but this was totally on you.

Sighing, you hooked up the laptop again, waiting for it to wake up from a coma, shooting Steve an apologetic text in the meantime. Closing your eyes, you let your forehead lightly fall against your desk, mentally cursing yourself.

Dummy. If you only weren’t so lazy… and didn’t hate certain aspects of adulting with so much passion… you could have been talking to Steve-

Your eyes flew opened when it felt like it was quiet for too long; no reply to your text. Dread filled you and you quickly reached for your phone again, this time to dial.

You prayed you were wrong; but as the phone kept ringing with no one to answer it on the other end, you felt misery creep up you back and whimpered. Sliding your phone on the tabletop, your not-so-deft fingers stumbled over the keyboard, harshly welcoming it into the world of living by opening Zoom again to reconnect the call.

Your breath hitched in anticipation as the window opened---

An amused and yet somehow unimpressed face of Natasha Romanoff welcomed you and this time, you didn’t bother slowing down as your head hit the desk. It hurt, but that was only a presage of the real pain.

“Nooooooo,” you whined loudly, faking and not quite faking a sob, because shit.

“Oh yes,” Natasha hummed nonchalantly.

You straightened a bit in your chair, narrowing your eyes at her as you noticed the corners of her lips twitching while she pretended to be busy checking out her possibly-mission-broken nails.

“It’s not funny.”

She snorted and glanced at your no doubt desperate face.

“It really is. But also kinda sad,” the spy noted, something resembling concern flickering over her face before she scrunched her nose, irises twinkling. “And disgustingly cute. It has Rogers written all over it.”

You glared at her some more, not even bothering to roll your eyes.

“Tell that to my landlord,” you muttered under your breath, leaning your elbow on the tabletop and dropping your chin to you palm. A second later, a brilliant idea hit you and you tried to manipulate your legs from under you.

The thing was, even if you had a pretty good idea of what was coming if you didn’t stop it and knew that it would be a bitch to deal with, Natasha was right.

In a way, it was utterly cute, disarmingly charming and entirely heart-warming. Your stomach fluttered, the fabled butterflies flipping their wings, your face grew hot and your heart… well, it felt as if it was growing in size.

It was also sad, heart-breaking even; Steve, especially after a mission, was a man running on instincts. It was one of the reasons why he had developed a habit of calling you, why he wanted to hear you ramble about your either boring or exciting but always wonderfully normal day. A day which involved no shooting and no blood besides papercuts and a quarrel with your stubborn boss who shoot you glares at best.

On a mission, these carnal automatisms often meant survival. But back home, Steve didn’t want to be a sum of instincts of survival, fight and fear; he wanted to feel again. And with you, he did. He wasn’t just a Captain America, a soldier to be put on battlefield whenever the general found fit. He was a human being. A wonderful one at that, with beautiful soul.  

So yes. It was also rather upsetting.

And in a way, it was a little funny too. You knew it was totally your fault and that Steve was being kinda ridiculous, because he knew you and your inclination to wild gesticulations ending up catastrophically. On top of that, he was aware of this particular problem being almost a daily occurrence; hell, he tried to talk you into having Stark look at your laptop and failed.

And now... well. Here you were.

“You know, maybe if you get up and welcome him with door opened…” Natasha teased you with your own genius ides and you grinded your teeth, frantically trying to move your foot, which was pretty much on fire and yet dead.

“I would, but I… eh, pins and needles, was sitting on my feet,” you explained, embarrassed, testing whether your feet could carry you or not, naturally finding that without support, you’d be down before you could take as much as a step.

This time, Natasha didn’t snort in amusement.

Instead, she graced you with an outburst on honest full belly laughter, her red hair unfairly shiny for a woman who just spend week on a mission in damn Moldova and probably kicked more asses that you could imagine.

“You know what, Romanoff…” you grunted, forcing yourself to wobble towards the door. Very slowly. And cautiously. Knowing your luck, you might actually get hurt.

“I’m not even sorry,” she choked out and then continued to howl in laughter. “You so deserve each other. I finally know what the ‘idiots in love’ mean. Thanks for that!”

“You’re very welcome,” you huffed, voice dripping with irony.

Finally able to put full weight on both of your feet, you headed towards the exit – and entrance – of your apartment.

Halfway, you decided it was a lost cause. You would be willing to bet that the moment you’d touch the doorknob, you’d get hit to your face. It wasn’t worth it.

Yes, maybe if you did get hurt, it would make Steve think twice before coming all guns-and-shield blazing into your apartment; then again, it would probably cost you a broken nose.

Not to mention Steve’s tendency to get swallowed by the enormity of his guilt.

So not worth it. Best if you stayed put.

That was what you kept telling yourself when you stood there for about two minutes, in which you’d be able to open the door about forty times. Your annoyance – mostly with yourself and the cackling redhead – and the anticipation was becoming unbearable. As seconds ticked by, you were trying to convince yourself into taking the last few steps and opening the door and save yourself some trouble---

You yelped when the loud bang rattled your apartment the door sent flying of their hinges along with a spray of powered plaster despite knowing it was coming.

A glint of metal appeared next, the striking red, white and blue no longer there as it was covered in more bland colours for stealth missions.

And then a large figure cladded in blue shirt and grey jeans entered, his chest heaving, face flushed with red. Piercing blue eyes wiped of all previous traces of tiredness scanned the room, instantly falling on you as you awkwardly stood there, dumbfounded, startled and utterly speechless.

Also, much to Steve’s puzzlement, you were perfectly fine otherwise – even with both legs functioning, no remnants of pins and needles present.

Steve eased his posture instantly, eyes narrowing and then widening as he looked you up and down, lips parting in genuine surprise – and relief.

He said your name, clear and almost reverent, dropping the shield on the floor with a clang.

The ‘hi babe’ got stuck in your throat as you could see the tension leaving his shoulders, his eyes turning glassy and absent despite relief rolling off him in damn tsunami waves.

It hit you like a train – that you were delighted to see him, actually see him, even under these circumstances; and you truly didn’t want him to withdraw to some freaky brain-space after he had probably got one of the most ridiculous scares of his life due to the fact that his brain was not fully back in the normal world.

In the normal world where you abruptly disconnected a call without warning, because you talked too animatedly and not because some terrorist high on the FBI’s, CIA’s, NSA’s and SHIELD’s most wanted list found out you were Steve’s girlfriend and decided to take you out.

So to prevent another psychical horror trip of his, you went for distracting him – with a very relevant issue.

“You broke my door.”

Steve blinked, gaze refocusing on you fully, simply staring for a long moment.

“You went offline,” he objected quietly, a hint of accusation in his voice. God, you missed his voice.

“You broke my door, Steve.”

As if hearing his name was a spell, his frozen figure came to life and he took a cautious step closer, repeating his previous statement, this time with a hint of guilt.

“You went offline.”

“And you broke my door. That’s the second time this month, Steve! My landlords gonna k--- be real pissed at me,” you corrected yourself in the last second, not wanting say kill.

Steve ignored the slip and apparently got the message, his face twisting in genuine apology. “I’m sorry. I’ll fix it!”

With efficiency of a supersoldier, he spun on his heels and rushed to pick up the door as if it was lighter than a paperweight and swiftly put it in place.

Only for the door to slowly tilt his way again. He caught it with a loud curse and moved it aside, leaning it partly against the wall. The action sent more plaster down onto the floor, like the only truly white snow in New York City. Peripherally, you noticed Steve grimacing, his face an expression an epitome of yikes.

You let your eyes slipped shut, shaking your head with a sigh, but couldn’t but chuckle. When you looked at Steve again, he resembled a 240 pounds giant Labrador puppy, truly regretful, approaching you reluctantly as if he was afraid you would slap his big paws for being clumsy.

What he would deserve was for you to clip round his ear for impulsiveness, but could you blame him? God knew what he had seen in Moldova in the past week, what horrors he had lived through and what a nightmare his mind had created when you ‘went offline’.

Him barging in like this due to your own dumbassery was kinda sad; a prove of his demanding job full of terror.

It was cute and heart-warming, because he just cared for you that much.

It was a little ridiculous, because as Steve finally crossed the distance between you two, the head of your elderly neighbour peeked from behind the empty doorway, puzzled and rather concerned.

You snorted unattractively, the scene in front of you seeming epically hilarious all of sudden.

“I’m good, Mr. T!” you called over Steve’s shoulder after the poor man who gossiped like an old woman and was just as hospitable. “Just my boyfriend fussing because of a technology fail!”

A grin spread on his wrinkled face; a testimony to years of laughter and amiability. “Oh. Hi, Mr. America!”

“Afternoon, Mr. T! I am verry sorry for disturbing you.”

The older-looking man waved off Steve’s politeness.

“It’s fine. You keep taking care of your lady, Mr. America, and keep her safe!”

“Yes, sir,” Steve humoured him with a salute, earning a wink.

As your neighbour walked away with a fresh topic for his Sunday tea party, Steve turned his attention to you again, eyes searching, wide, apologetic – but also soft, taking in the view of you, revelling in it.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he whispered lowly, the lopsided smile you loved so much gracing his face, once again pulling at that damn split lip. You grimaced a bit, the sight of him almost brining tears into your eyes; the gentleness and the remnants of fight punching you straight in the gut.

His eyes fluttered close when you lifted your hand and traced the line of the bruise on his face with the lightest pressure you were capable of. This time, tears definitely prickled in your eyes, but you blinked them away, cupping Steve’s cheek and pulling him close.

“Oh come here, babe,” you breathed out, fingers carding through his hair as he leaned his head on your shoulder, lips brushing the crook of your neck, strong arms embracing around your form.

He was warm and big and held you a bit tighter than necessary and dammit, you loved your sweet of heart and occasionally dumb of ass boyfriend. Boyfriend, who was crazy in love with you. Sometimes with emphasis on the crazy.

“I missed you, sweetheart,” he muttered, nose nuzzling the sensitive skin of your neck, breathing in deeply. You pretended it didn’t do things to you as he did everything to get lost in you and leave all the bad behind. You failed.

“You’re totally paying for fixing my door.”

Well, maybe not failed entirely.

“Of course,” Steve assured you dutifully, no hint of humour in his voice.

It broke you on a completely new level; he was serious. Dammit you loved this man!

“I missed you too,” you finally admitted and this time, he did chuckle, squeezing you even tighter, hand running up and down your back. Without any warning, he tightened his grip and lifted you from the floor so you had to cling to him entirely, causing you to gasp.

You never got the chance to gather your wits and comment on that, because an annoyed voice of a certain redhead sounded from your laptop.

“…alright, you crazy kids, you had your cuddles. Now, Rogers, should I tell Fury you’re coming back for the debriefing or should we just finally change with the times and do it over Zoom?”

Clutching Steve’s waist and shoulder, face contentedly in his chest, you voted for the latter.

Steve Rogers masterlist

Lovely divider by whimsicalrogers​.

A fic from collection ‘This was supposed to be a drabble.’  Also, I couldn’t for the love of god figure out a better title.

I hope you enjoyed at least a bit :-*

Thank you for reading!

[basically-i-write-shit]

That’s the thing about a/b/o; it’s such a good vehicle for certain kinks. I’m just going to go with the first half of the list and say Tsukkiyama… any of: 6, 11, 14, 19 or 28.

Any, some, all or none! Up to you!

All of your fics are great!

This is exactly my thought. I picked two of the ones you sent from the prompt list, feel free to send more if you want!

6. Alpha voice 14. Claim fuck

Here’s the ao3 link 

- MINORS DNI -

Tsukishima Kei is not prone to letting his emotions or his instincts get the best of him. It’s tiring, and just not worth it most of the time. Often, this isn’t an issue; he doesn’t feel anything too strongly, and he’s not exactly eager to get into just any omega’s pants, so even when an omega goes into heat in public he’s able to keep a level head. He doesn’t feel that primal urge inside himself to claim, to mate- 

Or, at least, for the most part. It’s becoming more of an issue lately, and it’s frustrating. He doesn’t know what it is, but lately whenever he finds himself out with friends, he’s just the slightest bit annoyed, just a little more prone to snapping back. He chalks it up to just having outgrown the idea of going out every weekend now that he’s an adult with a job, and yet whenever a certain childhood friend of his asks him to come out he does without hesitation. 

...Which leads to his other issue. 

Yamaguchi Tadashi has always been a soft spot for Kei, he’s always wanted to protect him- ever since they first became friends in elementary school. Now that they’ve long since graduated highschool, and recently college, however, it’s becoming increasingly obvious that Kei’s soft spot for Tadashi is more than he lets on. And Tadashi has always been naïve, but it’s never been more aggravating to get him out of the situations he manages to get himself in when he’s a little tipsy. And Yamaguchi likes to let loose on the weekends. 

And letting loose he is. 

Kei hadn’t even wanted to go out tonight. He was barely leaving the museum when his phone rang, the caller ID reading Kuroo’s phone number, and he’d immediately rejected the call. However, not even two seconds later he received a text with the simple words: “We have freckles with us already so you might as well just come over now instead of fighting it.” So he did. And that familiar annoyance and quick temper has returned, only fueled by the loud music bumping in the over-crowded club that Bokuto and Kuroo dragged his omega to-

There it is again. Yamaguchi isn’t his. He isn’t Kei’s, and he knows this. Even still, in his head, he calls him that. He doesn’t know when he that started, just that he never stopped, and he doesn’t see any harm in it; after all, anyone who’s spent more than a few hours with them can clearly see Kei’s laid his claim on Yamaguchi even if he hasn’t actually marked him. Or even tried to court him. His influence is all over, however, from the clothes Kei buys him just so he can scent them before he gifts them to the fading hickeys Yamaguchi asks Kei to give him before they go out to deter alphas from hitting on him when they’re clubbing. 

Even still, those only seem to work if the other person knows them, and isn’t some stranger in the club. To strangers, Kei’s scent and the hickeys he peppers on Yamaguchi’s neck are just hints of a promiscuous omega, a tease who gets busy with more than one person in one night- and they tend to get angry when their advances are rejected by a “slut.” 

Kei doesn’t know when he lost Yamaguchi, just that he’s been increasingly more annoyed by his other friends as they progressively get drunker. And so he does what he usually does when he gets fed up with them: goes to find Yamaguchi so he can leave. It takes a long moment to find him, and when he does, he doesn’t like what he finds. 

He can’t hear over the music and the loud conversations surrounding them, but he can see the snarl on the alpha’s face as he leans far too close to Yamaguchi. The omega -his omega- is leaning as far away as he can, but his back is pressed against the wall with nowhere else to go. It takes three seconds to get from the bar to where they are, just in time for the alpha to reach a hand up Yamaguchi’s skirt and promptly get punched in the jaw by Yamaguchi. Immediately the area around them clears around them so Kei can step in between them. 

“You bit-” 

The alpha goes to punch back, but freezes when he sees Kei standing there. “You’d really punch an omega that just hit you so hard you had those cartoon birds flying around your head? That’s kind of pathetic, man.” 

“Who are you, this little slut’s babysitter? Why don’t you tell ‘im to-” 

“I’d stop right there, or I’ll let him loose on you again. Do you want an omega to knock you out?” 

The alpha growls, but he backs off, flicking them off once more before he disappears into the crowd. Kei turns to Yamaguchi as the people immediately around them dissolve back into the club mentality, ignoring the two as soon as the drama is over. When Kei turns around, Yamaguchi’s fist is still clenched, skirt ridden up just the slightest, and he’s shaking. 

“Yamaguchi, let’s go.” 

“What? I- I’m fine, Tsukki. Let’s just go find the others,” 

“I just left them, I was coming to find you anyway.” 

“But I wanna stay,” 

“And get groped by some stranger again? I don’t think so.” Kei says. 

Yamaguchi huffs. “Come on Tsukki, please? I barely have a buzz, I-” 

“And if you get any drunker, you’re gonna get taken advantage of by some random alpha.” 

“And what if I want that?” 

“I- What?” Kei’s eyes narrow and he glares at Yamaguchi, stepping closer to him. “You’re okay with just anyone taking you home? What if one of them marks you? What if they get you pregnant?” 

Yamaguchi crosses his arms and glares right back. “And what if they do? It’s not like you are.” 

Something in Kei snaps then, and he growls, taking Yamaguchi by the wrist and pulling him against his chest. He isn’t one to use his alpha status above an omega, but he can’t help himself as he commands Yamaguchi with his alpha voice, “We’re leaving. Now.” 

Yamaguchi doesn’t protest as Kei drags him out of the club, and Kei ignores the whoops and hollers from a drunk Bokuto and Kuroo, both of whom are trying to reign in a drunk Hinata before he climbs onto the bar and shows all of Sendai the dance moves he’d learned in Brazil. Once out of the club, his senses sharpen and he feels a bit better, but anger still boils in his chest as he drags Yamaguchi down the street and to the closest train station. After swiping their metro cards he takes Yamaguchi and pins him against the wall, kissing him roughly while they wait for their train. 

“Is this what you wanted? Attention from me? Is that why you wore this little number and went off and almost got yourself groped in the club by whoever you could get to touch you so I would get jealous?” 

“M- Maybe,” Yamaguchi murmurs against Kei’s lips, gasping when Kei’s knee slips between his thighs, arms hiding him from the rest of the underground station. “I was tired of your fucking pretending like there isn’t something between us, so I figured I’d give you a push. Is that so wrong?” 

“It is when my omega is backed into a corner with a hand up his skirt by someone that’s not me.” 

“So you admit I’m yours?” 

“Of fucking course you are! When have you ever not been?” Yamaguchi swallows thickly, his wide-eyed gaze looking at Kei like he hung the goddamn moon, and Kei growls. “As soon as we get back to my place I’m fucking you so goddamn hard and you’re getting a bond mark right,” he nips at the junction of Yamaguchi’s neck and shoulder, “There. Understand? No one is going to mistake you for single after this.” 

“Y- Yes, alpha.” 

“That’s what I like to hear.” They continue to kiss while they wait, and once again when their train arrives. Once they reach their stop, Kei’s hand once again finds Yamaguchi’s wrist and he pulls him along, feeling a little guilty when he sees it’s bright red from being grabbed so roughly; it’ll definitely bruise before the night is over. He doesn’t have time to feel guilty, however, because Yamaguchi’s hand slips into Kei’s front pants pocket and pulls his keys out of it, unlocking his apartment and pushing him inside. Kei grins, pulling Yamaguchi by his collar into a kiss as they scramble to take their shoes off while still kissing. “Feisty now, huh?” 

“Just impatient. I’ve been waiting for this moment since we were seventeen.” 

Kei groans against Tadashi’s lips. “You mean I could’ve been fucking you since second year? That was six years ago,” 

“I didn’t think you liked me back until, like, six months ago Tsukki! And I thought you would make the first move, since you’re an alpha.” 

“You know I’m just as stubborn as you, did you really think I’d give up my pride and confess?” 

“Hey, it’s not my fault you’re stupid. Now are you going to claim me or not?” 

“You don’t have to ask twice,” Now out of their shoes, Kei lifts Tadashi and carries him down the hall to his bedroom. He has half the mind to fuck him right on the floor in the genkan, but he at least has the sense to make sure Yamaguchi is comfortable while he fucks his brains out. Once in his bedroom, he drops Yamaguchi on the bed, his hands fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. Yamaguchi pulls away just the slightest to pull his top off, wiggling out of his skirt while Kei shucks off his own shirt and begins undoing the buttons on his slacks. He growls when he sees Yamaguchi’s nearly naked form underneath him, the light pink boxer briefs damp and tenting his dick. “Fuck, you’re so gorgeous, you know that?” 

“That’s coming from you? You’re a literal god, Kei.” 

Something about Yamaguchi calling him by his given name screams to the primal side inside of Kei. Nipping at his lips, Kei’s hands find Yamaguchi’s hips and pulls them flush against his. “You’re so fucking hot. I’m going to make sure the only think you can say is my name.” 

“Yes, please.” Yamaguchi whispers. Resisting the urge to rip Yamaguchi’s underwear, he slides it off as quickly and as gracelessly as possible, losing his cool immediately when the scent of slick unhidden by clothing hits his nose. He pulls away to get a good look at Yamaguchi totally naked, now, and he growls. 

“You’re dripping. Have you been slicked up the whole way home, or did I just work you up in the few minutes we’ve been back home?” 

“Th- The first option,” 

"Well I’m going to treat you so good, don’t you worry. I know I could probably slip right in with how wet you are right now, but I’m gonna prep you, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

One of Kei’s hands spreads Yamaguchi’s thighs, the other moving to tease at his rim. Yamaguchi whines, his knees trying to close, and Kei nips at his jaw, keeping his legs spread with a firm grip. “Don’t hide yourself. I’m going to be seeing a while lot of you, so there’s no point in being shy.” 

Whimpering, Tadashi nods slowly, and relaxes somewhat as Kei slips two fingers inside of his hole. Kei’s fingers are long and slim, and slip inside easily, slick coating them immediately. He probably didn’t even need to prepare the omega, because he’s reacting so well to Kei’s touch and opening up with little prodding; his little cock sits rock-hard and dripping, untouched, and Kei’s own cock twitches at the sight of the man in front of him. Yamaguchi gasps when Kei’s fingers shift inside of him and Kei grins, dragging his fingers over the same spot. He revels in the way Yamaguchi moans and whines, rolling his hips to get more stimulation. 

“Fuck, Kei...N- Need you, now. Please. Please,” 

Suddenly Kei’s confidence wanes and he hesitates, looking down at Yamaguchi. “I don’t want to hurt you, Tadashi.” 

Yamaguchi groans. “I can take it, Tsukki. Come on, fuck me.” 

“Right. Right, I’m going to fuck you and I’m going to claim you. Got it?” 

“Got it.” 

Kei slides his fingers out of Yamaguchi’s hole, positioning his member and pushing inside. As soon as the tip slips in he groans, pleasure overtaking him as he bottoms out with one quick thrust that brings out a loud cry from the omega underneath him. He growls, connecting their lips once more, as he fucks into Yamaguchi roughly. His hands wander Yamaguchi’s body, the omega reacting to his touch so well, his back arching off the bed. Kei sucks in every little sound, every little tightening around his cock, quickly losing control of himself. 

“Fuck, Tadashi...You’re mine. I’m not going to let anyone touch you ever again, you’re mine and only mine, you understand?” 

Yamaguchi keens, a shiver running down his spine, and nods. His hands, tangled in Kei’s hair, grips tighter with every thrust. 

“If any other alpha even looks at you after this, I’m gonna fucking kill him.” 

“Possessive of me already? You haven’t even- hn, you haven’t even marked me yet.” 

“If you want to rush me, Tadashi, I can gladly make you cum faster, but I quite like this pace more,” Kei growls, thrusting harder, and he hears Yamaguchi’s breath hitch. 

“F- Fuck, please, Kei, faster. Please. ‘m so close, so ready, plea-” Yamaguchi gasps, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, and Kei grins. He nips at Yamaguchi’s neck, right where he’s preparing to mark him, and reaches a hand down to stroke Yamaguchi’s dick. Yamaguchi reacts to the touch with a shout that will more than likely get Kei a noise complaint from his neighbors, but he doesn’t care one bit. Kei’s own orgasm builds closer and closer as he continues fucking into Yamaguchi ruthlessly, and he knows Yamaguchi is close by how much he starts to tighten around his cock. 

“Tadashi...Tadashi, I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna fill you up so good, baby,” He pants, “You’re going to be full of my pups soon enough. I’m going to claim you and get you pregnant as soon as possible, so everyone knows you’re mine. You’re mine, hear that? Mine.” 

“Fuck, Kei..! Please, please, ‘m coming, claim me alpha, ple- agh!” 

Kei wastes no time in biting down on the junction of Yamaguchi’s neck and shoulder, claiming the omega as he comes. As his teeth sink into flesh, Kei’s own orgasm spills inside of Yamaguchi and he thrusts one final time as his knot swells and locks them together. An indescribable pleasure washes over him as he feels the mating bond form between them. Once they’ve both finished, Kei collapses on top of Yamaguchi, both of them panting breathlessly. 

In the morning, Kei will likely be embarrassed about letting his inner alpha out like this, but for now, he allows himself to feel the bliss of a fresh bond with the man he loves. 

[atiny-ahgase]

A message to my Moots

Hey all, I originally wasn’t gonna do this cause I honestly didn't even know where to begin (I still don't tbh) but I said that I’ll still give it a try cause I wanted to tell you all my feelings before the new year rolls around (for me at least lol). So let’s get too it.

Firstly thank you to every single person that follows me, or has read any of my fics or liked any of my edits or even just interacted with me in any form. Thank you for the immense love and support that I’ve received on this site, honestly I didn't expect to make any friends here and the fact that I was able to meet and befriend so many amazing people. So I just wanna say thank you so much for being a part of my life. I’ve always put up walls and I’m really bad at getting close to others but Tumblr was the first site that I’ve really felt comfortable enough to be the real me. So thank you for that.

Now on to the Mentions

I had no idea how to start this so I decided to start at the beginning.

@mingishoe -Luna, you were the reason that I joined Tumblr in the first place, your fics brought me here and your interactions with other blogs opened up so many doors for me and helped me to interact and befriend so many amazing people. You were the first person that I ever sent an ask to, you made me feel so comfortable and welcome so thank you for that. Thank you for being you, a literal moon; bright and beautiful always lighting up the way. I honestly don't think that I would ever be able to explain how much I love, admire and look up to you, I honestly can’t find the words. Honestly, just thank you for being there for your little anon (Idk if you know which anon I am though lol)

@vocalyunho -Ames!!!!! The 2nd person that I followed! an absolute angel. You are such a calm soul and I just love your vibe and energy so much. I think that I’ve said this a million times but you just make me feel so safe and secure, you have such a calm and capable aura that is just so soothing to me. Thank you for coming into my life and being the amazing person that you are.

@jonghoshoe -ZAD!!! Baby Brother! My Teddy Bear! My Sunflower!! Where do I even begin?!? You were basically my first friend on Tumblr (and I am even more grateful to Luna cause I found you through her). IDK what it was about you but you had such an amazing out look on life while still being chaotic in the best way possible. I would wake up every morning and look out for your posts cause you would always make me smile. Without even knowing it you became a big part of my life and I am so grateful for that. You were my motivation when I was feeling down, you encouraged me to see the good things in the word, you hyped me up to write fics; honestly you are part of why I am the Gabby that I am today and I cant thank you enough for that, I love and admire you so much.

Next on my list is my little bunny @lustjoong -PK PK PK, my knee loving queen!!!! IDEK what to say cause I feel as though I confess my love to you at least twice a week on discord lol. I love talking with you, you're incredibly level headed and give amazing advice (which I always need cause I’m a mess lol). I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again that I admire you so much and would of never imagined that I would of ever gotten the chance to talk to you (much less be able to call you my friend) cause in my mind I always saw you as this amazing and untouchable writer (but then I realized that I’m taller than you so... lol I’m kidding). I’m happy that you found out that I was messaging you on anon and thank you for reaching out to me. I look forward to more chaotic conversations and knee pics in the new year.

@atiny-piratequeen -FIE I FREAKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT I MIGHT EXPLODE!! You fill me with so much life that I cant even begin to explain. I’ve said this a million times before but I love how you aren't afraid to speak you mind and say how you feel. You're such a strong figure to me here on the platform and I've always admired how natural and bold you are with your opinions. I find your personality to be extremely refreshing and welcoming, I was never afraid to interact with you (I combusted when you sent me an ask but that’s only natural..) so thank you for providing me (and a lot of other Atiny) with a safe and welcoming place that we can come to.

@twancingyunhoe -Allyssa!!! My mom!!!! My cookie baking, Yunho loving, cat mom!! where do I even begin?? Thank you for being an absolute angel! You shine so brightly here and you're always so supportive to literally everyone. I am and always will be there for you no matter what so I want you to remember that in the coming year. and remember that I love you in your highs and your lows and I am available to provide cuddles anytime they are needed or wanted cause you are precious to me ok luv.

@felixs-moonlight -my little duckling AJ!!! I’m wishing you the best in the new year cause that's what best bois deserve! You are so incredibly sweet and caring so don't you ever forget. Even if you do forget don't worry cause I will always be there to remind you.

@seoultraveller -Cat. Your presence makes me so happy!! IDEK what it is I just love seeing you on my dashboard, when I don't see you I wonder how you are. I hope that this new years is treating you well. Also, you are NOT boring and lets talk a lot more in the coming year okay luv

@yunhozone -Jey!! I miss you, I hope that you're well, its been raining lately so I hope that you're staying dry and safe. I love your boldness and sense of humor so please don't ever change. i started following you on a whim and I have never regretted following you ever since. You make me smile and laugh so much and I hope that I can do the same for you in the coming years. Stay safe okay luv

@pirate-hongjoong -Kayla, lets both talk more in the coming year ok luv. I pretty much told you everything that I wanted to on your post so I’ll try to keep this short. I think that you're really sweet and we should get to know each other more, I’ll try to reach out some more and be a little less shy. so lets continue to grow our friendship okay.

@taelepathysroom -You were the first friend that I made on Tumblr all on my own (meaning that I didn't see you interacting with a moot or anything, I found you all by myself) to this day I don't remember how I mustered up the bravery to message you. I remember wanting to message you on anon and realizing that you had anon off and I STILL went for it lol, apparently I was wilding. But that was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, I love talking with you and receiving all of your extremely important messages and I look forward to many more (my heart is not ready but it is fine).

@moongaera -Gaera you are such a great motivation to me and I’m so happy to be a part of your life. You are so sweet and incredibly talented. I love seeing you on my dashboard and talking with you cause you honestly make my heart want to explode.

@yungidreamer - Big sister!!!! Kelsi!!! My aesthetic queen who I am convince is tryna kill me on our discord chat you are so kind and helpful and give such great tips. You are such a calm soul and I love interacting with you (especially when things feel crazy) its like you just magically know the answer to everything.

@yunhoiseyecandy -Violet, we don't really talk much but I think that you're really cool and fun so lets talk lots in 2021 ok. Also IDK why I felt like this was the perfect place to post this but you're the only moot whos emoji pops up when I start to type their name in the hashtags and I always thought that its really cute. (You're also really cute). I think that we would be really good friends so I cant wait to talk with you more.

@hwaberrykiwi -CAM CAM CAM CAM CAM!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! You are so fun to talk to and so sweet and so calming and you make my heart feel like its bursting (in the best way possible). I hope that you're well and I look forward to sharing more moments here with you on Tumblr (and I am still keeping my promise of not eating Lemon Bars if they aren't from you so...)

@atinywrites -Angel!!! My precious, little angel who always attacks my poor little heart. I love your messages and how you just pop up randomly and shower me with love (then I read your posts and you're just straight up roasting people JBJDJFILJFISREHF) I love absolutely everything about you and I’m really happy that we met each other, I cant wait to see what 2021 has in store for us.

@choisans-dimples -Cass my dearest little Sugar Plum, apart from you being absolutely precious you are also extremely previous to me. I remember our first interactions and they still bring a smile to my face (we were like Tom and Jerry and honestly in a way we still are lol). But you mean so much to me and you never fail to make me laugh or smile no matter what is going on in my life. I wish for you to never lose that smile in 2021 and if it ever begins to falter just know that I’m here ok luv

@latte-fairytaekwoon -Latte, I’m not gonna lie; when Mei started adopting family members I felt like my brain was gonna explode but I gotta hand it to her cause she has great taste in family cause she chose you. If it wasn't for her then I probably would of never found you. if that happened then who would spoil me rotten?!? I am so happy to have met you I honestly thrive every time I see you on my dashboard, you are absolutely hilarious and I love to see your interactions. I cant wait to see what you do in 2021 and all of the other years to come. Thanks for being a great Tumblr Mom

@little-precious-baby -Mei, where do I begin?? You came out of no where for me, you just sort of appeared and then in the blink of an eye you became so dear to me. Id just find myself looking out for your posts and wondering how you are. IDK how to explain it but you've somehow managed to bring so many amazing individuals together in such a short time, you're absolutely amazing and I hope that one day you'll be able to see yourself the way that we already see you. Ik that things can be hard (and they will be because that’s life) but just know that this family that you helped to bring together is always here for you when you need someone to confide in and when it feels like its too much and you need a break we’ll be right here waiting for you until you come back. Just remember that your big sis loves you ok my little bean.

@ateez-little-star -JAS!!!!!! My babie sister IDK how to write this without crying cause you make me so happy that idek what to do. You are so bold and brave while still being shy and cute, I cant explain it. You are so wholesome to talk to and so fun and interesting and sweet and loveable! Like how could someone not love you!! Thank you for always checking up on me and showering me with love and just making me smile.

@yunhofingers -My sweet little bean who definitely never behaves badly!! I am sending you all of the positive vibes for the new year. Ik that things wont always be easy but just know that I’m always here and I believe in you. You are so sweet and kind and bold and I love that about you, don't ever change and thank you so much for making me smile; I hope that I can do the same for you in 2021 and beyond cause I hope that we can be friends for a really long time.

I also wanted to include the moots that I do interact with but I also want to talk to even more in the coming year. Thank you for being here for both me and other people in the kpop community. I love your blogs and you all are so incredibly kind (and ridiculously entertaining; I’m looking at you Caly and Vivi lol), I hope that we can become even better friends.

@hanatiny @sansbun @hongism @multidreams-and-desires @smallfrye @aixy-hpsa @galaxteez @jongpleasure @simphwa @inkigayeo @heeseungluvs

[ptergwen]

truth serum

a/n: ok ok ok i've had to post this four times now because it won’t show up in tags for some reason? i’m so :/ tumblr pls stop setting me up bruh. but moving on here’s a summary of the original request and i hope ya like

warnings: little bit of cursing here and there

-

when tom asked if you‘d be interested in going to a comic con with him, there was only one answer: yes. you‘ll take every chance you get to see him in his element. you’re looking forward to checking out some of the cool exhibits they’ll have — and people. comic con is a safe space for all your nerdiness. so really, both of you will be in your element that day.

the only thing you’re uneasy about is tom’s fans. you have no idea how they’ll react to seeing you by his side for hours on end. paparazzi caught you together once or twice, but you couldn’t tell much from their blurry pictures. that didn’t stop everyone from talking.

you’ve been named his new “mystery girl,” and tom still hasn’t adressed the whole situation. no matter how much he loves his fans, he’s not willing to spill every single detail of his personal life. spending time with his girlfriend doesn’t need some big explanation to please the public.

this is the first time you know for sure that you’ll be seen with him. comic cons are huge, and somebody always has their phone out at these things. you don’t want the fans to end up hating you for being there, or tom for bringing you. the way he sees it, they should just be happy he’s happy. anyone who isn’t never truly cared in the first place.

tom usually arrives early to go over his schedule and any last minute details. this time, he’s sleeping in a few hours extra with you. no one knows better than him that all day events can be draining. he wants you well rested and feeling good for it. since people are already at the venue, you’re using a different entrance to avoid getting mobbed.

“stay close, okay? i’m not sure what it’s like in there yet. might be a few people by the door, or a crowd.” you’re walking hand in hand with tom through the back lot. he feels you tense up next to him at the mention of a crowd. they overwhelm the hell out of you, and you’re suddenly feeling way underprepared for this.

“but we’re going in through the back. how are they gonna know that?” you grip his hand tighter without realizing. tom half smirks at your question and leads you over to the door. “my fans figure everything out... almost everything. you ready?”

shrugging your shoulders, you lean into his side for comfort. “sort of. i’m just getting nervous about being around so many people.” “i know, baby. not gonna lie, it’s pretty scary at first. but i’ll be with you the whole time.” he presses a quick kiss to the side of your head. you do feel better knowing he won’t leave you alone when you get inside.

“just try turning your nerves into excitement. it works for me every time. “i’ll do my best. i guess we can go in for real now.” tom’s thumb brushes over yours reassuringly, looking at you once more for any signs of doubt before he opens the door.

only a couple of fans notice tom is there, so it’s not as hectic as you thought it would be. he waves to them and says hi, a smile lighting up his face. you chew your lip nervously and let him take you to where he needs to be. obviously, you get a few stares. some pointing, some whispering. they’re all things that come with being pressed into tom holland in front of thousands of people.

tom brings you over to the check in area and gives both of your names. a woman with a headset on hands him two ID cards. he thanks her before pulling you aside so you two can have a moment of privacy.

“how is it so far? feeling okay?” his voice is soft unlike the yelling around you, which is nice. tom slips the lanyard with the ID over your head. “i’m getting used to it. i don’t know how you do this almost every day,” you admit, tugging on his own lanyard that he’s holding. he wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“i’ll tell you what, it’s a lot easier when you’re with me,” he mumbles into your ear, using that as a way to subtly leave a kiss to the skin. the little things like that are what will keep you together throughout the day.

a man with a headset and planner comes up to tom. why are so many people wearing headsets? he reads off tom’s plans for today, then ushers the two of you over to do meet and greets once tom has everything down. tom already called and explained that you’d be joining him, so he had it arranged for you to sit with the photographer and watch.

that’s definitely going to get people curious. he doesn’t mind too much, as long as it makes the experience more comfortable for you.

“i’ll be right over here. you’ll tell me if you need anything, yeah?” tom gazes out at the long line of fans waiting to see him, meeting your eyes after. “don’t worry about me. go give your fans some hugs.” you squeeze his hand and smile to let him know you’re okay. he smiles back even bigger before going over to greet the first person they send over.

this set up is way better than what you’d expected. you get a front row seat watching tom do silly faces and poses, and he can check in with you from time to time. there’s the occasional “who is that?” or “is it true that you’re dating her?” question from someone nosy.

tom responds with something along the lines of “that’s y/n. she’s a really lovely girl. she’s super awesome,” followed by a wink only for you to see. you find yourself having to hide your blushing face from all of his antics.

after about two hours, tom gets a break from photo ops. he decides to use the time to do whatever you choose, since you’ve been watching him for a while. you just walk around until there’s an announcement that a hypnotist show is about to start, and anyone can attend. you’ve never seen people be hypnotized in person, and it sounds like it could be fun.

tom lets you pick the seats. you end up towards the front for a closer look. his hand rests on your thigh as soon as you’re both seated, missing being able to touch you all day. you lace your fingers with his and watch as the show starts.

you’re both having a good time, laughing along at all the different segments. the guy hosting it is really entertaining. “now, let’s move onto a part of the show i like to call ‘truth serum.’ it’s simple. i’ll choose a member from the audience and get them to spill their guts for all of you, about anything i ask. who shall it be?” he rubs his chin and looks around the room.

he makes eye contact with people around you. you’re regretting getting seats in the third row. you pray he won’t call you up, but that would be too convenient. “ah!” he claps his hands together, gesturing to you. your mouth runs dry. “thanks for volunteering, come on up!”

you look at tom, silently asking if you should. “go on. i kind of wanna see this,” he wiggles his eyebrows at you devilishly. clenching your jaw, you walk past him and onto the stage. the hypnotist taps a chair for you to sit. you just had to be the lucky person he chose. “can we get a round of applause for...” he holds his microphone down to you.

“y/n,” you say into it, your voice coming out shaky. there are at least two hundred people staring up at you right now. “y/n!” he repeats. “everyone put your hands together for this brave soul.” the audience claps, tom cheering the loudest among them all.

“so, y/n. you seem excited to be up here,” the man jokes. tom watches with amusement as you give an unsure smile at the audience. “is it that obvious?” you get a few laughs. maybe this won’t be the train wreck you’re anticipating.

“extremely. y/n, i want you to look at your right hand for me.” he takes a step back, you doing as he says. “focus on your fingers and how they’re curling towards you. keep focusing. notice how you’re feeling more and more relaxed.”

everything he’s saying is actually happening. wanting to remember this, tom takes out his phone and starts recording. “bring your hand over to your forehead. let yourself feel the skin to skin contact. just like that.” you’re starting to feel sleepier. “and close your eyes.” the hypnotist snaps, and there’s silence throughout the auditorium. “you’re in a deep sleep. well done.”

you’re completely passed out with your head hanging low. everyone claps again, gasping and chatting to each other. tom is one of the gaspers. “y/n, you just guzzled a whole can of truth serum. you’re an open book. you love to share. when i snap again, you’ll wake up and answer whatever i ask you. truthfully,” the hypnotist tells you.

he waits a moment, then snaps his fingers. your head immediately snaps up. more gasps. tom puts his hand over his mouth, muffling his laughter at whatever you’re about to say.

“good morning, y/n. how are you doing?” “stiff. my neck hurts a lot for some reason,” you answer honestly, rubbing the back of it. the hypnotist has a smug grin on his face. “very good. we’re going to start off with some basic questions to see where you’re at. they mirror the five senses. y/n, what’s your favorite thing to hear?”

“my boyfriend’s voice. oh my god, and he has the cutest hiccup laugh,” you clasp your hands under your chin. tom is glad his phone is hiding his face so no one can see his cheeks turning pink. “hiccup laugh?” the hypnotist makes a face. “it gets stuck in his throat sometimes. it’s actually so cute.”

“what about your favorite smell?” “oh, that’s an easy one. sandalwood.” you casually reveal to the audience. “tell us why you like sandalwood so much, y/n,” the hypnotist prompts you. “it’s the scent of shampoo my boyfriend uses.” tom practically melts when he catches on. all your favorite things so far are related to him.

“i think we should skip ahead and talk about that boyfriend of yours. you seem to really love him, huh?” “more than anything. if you were planning to ask about anything else that’s my favorite, i’d say him.” there’s a big “awwww” from the whole audience, tom included.

“isn’t that sweet? where is your boyfriend right now, y/n? i’m sure he’d want to hear this.” “he just did, he’s in the audience.” you tell the hypnotist as if he should already know. tom’s lovestruck smile fades away. he hopes the hypnotist realizes it’s too personal to make you keep talking about something like this.

you have no control over what you’re saying, and it’s not going to end well. “why don’t you point him out for us so we can give him a big round of applause?” scanning around for tom with bright eyes, you get out of your seat. you point at him. “he’s right there.”

the whole audience turns to look at who you’re pointing to. tom lowers his phone, his mouth open in shock. everyone starts shouting as soon as they notice it’s tom. you’re confused over what the big deal is, since you’re still not fully yourself. the hypnotist realizes the mess he just caused, quickly sitting you down again to bring you out of it.

“y/n, i’m going to snap again. when you wake up this time, all the truth serum will be out of your system,” he says just to you over the noise, tom sinking down in his seat to avoid questions. the man snaps his fingers. there’s silence like the first time, everyone waiting to see what you’ll say.

you have no memory of anything that happened a few seconds ago. all the eyes on you are freaking you out. “wh- what did i say?” you ask him, biting down hard on your lip. his eyes dart over to tom. he speaks to you without the microphone. “you told the audience about your boyfriend.” it takes a second for you to register what he said. then you see tom down low in his chair, and you’re humiliated.

for yourself, but mostly him. you can’t believe you exposed your relationship in front of all these people. you run off the stage and out of the auditoruim, too embarrassed to say anything else. tom doesn’t hesitate to chase after you.

you’re breathing hard and fast, stopping somewhere there aren’t too many people around. your mind is racing while you try to figure out what’s going to happen next. someone puts a hand on your shoulder. it’s tom. he turns you around to face him.

“fuck, i- i’m so sorry. i don’t know what was going through my head, i shouldn’t have talked about any of that stuff. this is gonna be a nightmare for you,” you spit out all at once. tom only pulls you to his chest. he rubs circles around your back, trying to calm you down.

“it’s not your fault, angel. you didn’t have a choice about saying those things. you know that, right?” huffing, you hide your face in tom’s chest. “but still. i exposed us and i exposed you and now everyone knows something you didn’t want them to. you should hate me right now.” his lips press into a deep frown at what you’re saying. he rests his chin on your head and sighs.

“baby, i’m not mad. the only reason i wanted us to be a secret was for you.” you look up at him hesitantly, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “so i didn’t destroy your whole career in two seconds?” “of course not. there have been way worse things i’ve had to deal with than publicly dating my really lovely, super awesome girlfriend. this won’t be easy, but i promise we’ll get through it together.”

you cheer up a bit hearing him repeat his words from earlier, nodding as you let yourself process everything.

“do you think anyone got me on video? or will they just post about what i said and everyone will believe them?” “i personally recorded the whole thing. not sure about the rest of the audience though,” tom proudly admits to you, making you groan into his chest. “great. that means we should probably say something before the twisted versions of the story come out,” you reason.

he considers it for a moment, and you can see when a lightbulb go off in his head. “what if i officially introduce you to some fans at my next round of photo ops? tell them about us, see how it goes. then we can decide what our next move is.”

it’s a huge relief that he’s taking this slow and giving you a say on how to go public. feeling brave, you peck his lips as a thank you. he’s surprised at first, but kisses back. he can finally see why those annoying pda couples exist. his arm takes its place around your shoulders again, yours going around his waist this time.

“let’s go share our not so secret relationship with the world.”

[flying-nightwing]

Act IV: The Finale

Hi people! Finally the last part of this short serie! Honestly I had no expactation for it but I think it might slither into my all time favourite things I’ve written. I won’t lie, I think I’m in love with this last chapter. I feel like it’s the part we really understand both characters and their motivations in relation to each other. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! 

Edit: I realize I have kept this gender neutral! so I change it on the infos on the first part and this one

Parts 1-3 in Masterlist!

Pairing: Tim Drake x gender neutral reader

Word count: 3456

Warnings: language, mention of violence (non-graphic)

“... And this is why I have taken the decision to repeal the vigilante act. All measures taken by the city and GCPD to collaborate with vigilantes on the matters listed are to be repelled at this instant. We will no longer tolerate criminals telling us how to protect our city and all arrest mandates out for vigilantes are to be reactivated--”

Tim passed a hand in his face after Bruce turned off the TV. There was some serious tensions going on in the batcave, especially after this gruesome live tape of the mayor, visibly held hostage in some kind of basement, delivered the new order to cancel all the work they had achieved to at least stop the cops from trying to hunt them down instead of focusing on actual crime. 

The first thing he had done once he came back to the cave was to research you in any database he could hack into. He started in the state registry, knowing you had told him you had been an orphan. He had no idea what was a lie and what wasn’t in what you had told him, but that was apparently true. The picture attached was a younger version of you, that was clear, but any update on your whereabouts stopped at age 11. Then, he tried to look for a driver’s license, passeport, any ID documents you could have. He also hit a dead end with that too, so he looked into less savory types of repertories. 

He finally found you in the mercenary databases, with a clear, recent picture and your… Impressive record. As he scrolled down your list of confirmed hits, he felt his stomach sink further and further. Marco Rizzo, the philanthropist, the kidnapped mayor, and it went on and on. What truly put him on the floor, however, was to see your credentials. You were Falcone’s main gun and you had trained under various mentors including Slade Wilson, out of all people.

You were the real deal and he had let himself fall for you, hard.

He felt stupid now. Did you even know who he was at night? Had you gone to him to throw him off your scent? Even after discovering all of this about you, a part of him still hoped you had no clue. It would hurt less to know it was a coincidence you bumped into each other rather than a calculated move from you. 

“So… Your date uh?”

Tim cringed when Bruce spoke up. It was even worse to hear it out loud. 

“I don’t wanna hear it” He mumbled, keeping his eyes dead set on the wall. He knew he had acted irresponsibly, he knew he should have seen the signs sooner, he knew he should have remained alert and not let himself be charmed by you, or let himself be sidetracked from his mission. It was a rookie mistake. 

“Talk about sleeping with the enemy” Damian snorted from behind them. Tim turned around, glaring at him. He was sitting in a computer chair, casually eating noodles with chopsticks and watching the exchange like it was a movie. Of course, the demon had spied on the conversation.

“Damian!”

“What?” He looked at Bruce, shrugging nonchalantly.

Bruce sighed, shaking his head. He returned his attention to Tim again. “What do you want to do now?”

Tim didn’t reply straight away. He was conflicted, angry, sad, disappointed; he had rarely felt such a cocktail of emotions like that. On one hand, he wanted to wallow in self pity. It seemed like the one thing left to do, as life finally sent someone he could see himself get with but made them the exact opposite of what he stood for. But he couldn’t, he had to put a stop to this madness. He had to confront you. 

“We’ll need to set a trap” He finally spoke, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “A contract that can’t be refused, draw them out. I’ll take care of it, it’ll be better that way”

“Are you sure you’ll be up to it?”

“Yes” Tim snapped, and Bruce took a careful step back. “I won’t be fooled twice. I can do it”

“Alright, just making sure” Bruce wasn’t convinced, but he still trusted his son. He knew he'd do the right thing if push came to shove. “What did you have in mind?”

Tim took a deep breath. “50 millions for a bullet in Bruce Wayne’s head”

---

It was too good to be true, and your suspicions of foul play were confirmed when your eyes spotted the red and black sticking out of the grim portrait of Gotham’s roof tops.

You knew something was up when you were offered a 50 millions solo contract. You usually went out for 15 millions for high profile targets, but curiosity got the best of you. The only thought of potentially pocketing that much money was enough of a motivation for you to at least find out what was up. But now, it was clear it was a set up as Red Robin himself was waiting for you. It was too bad for the money, but the prospect of facing a real Gotham vigilante for the first time was exciting. 

“I’ve beaten you twice already” You smirked. “You called me for a third?”

A scowl set on his masked face. “Trust me, there won’t be a third” He spoke up in a gravelling voice. “Either you come with me here and now, or we do this the hard way”

“Oh, now you’ve got me interested” You teased as you circled him. “Do tell me more about this hard way of yours”

He deployed his staff. Your eyebrows raised at his challenge. “You’re arrogant” He stated. He wasn’t wrong. “It’s gonna be your downfall”

“... Or not” You shrugged, not stopping your assessment of him. “Still waiting on the monologue detailing your plan to stop me, by the way”

“There isn’t one”

He lunged. He did it so quickly and smoothly you almost didn’t see him move. Your reflexes allowed you to roll out of the way just in time, and the way the staff collided with the cement told you it wouldn’t have been a long fight if that had hit its intended target: you. You looked at him and you regained your footing, reevaluating the situation. You were skilled, but you doubted it would be enough to go toes to toes with Red Robin, now that you had had a glimpse of what he could actually do.

You raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Catch me if you can”

Before he could process your world, you turned around and jumped off the building, landing on the roof a dozens of feet lower. You didn’t waste time taking off, knowing he would be right behind you. You ran across the rooftop and leaped off the ledge and above the alley to grab onto the fire exit on the next building over. You hurried to climb it, ending up on yet another rooftop. You ran alongside the pool and jumped over the tables, kicking them back to try and slow down Red Robin, who was little by little gaining on you. Fuck, he’s fast, you thought. You weren’t even tempting to look back, but you knew with the sound of his footsteps alone. 

You hadn’t planned on him being able to follow you that easily, not even cursing behind you as you took another jump over a considerable gap between buildings. You were fast, faster than most. Making exits had always been your strong suit, whether it was on foot, by car or otherwise. However, the only times you had faced him were when you had a rocket launcher as a deterrent or when you were driving an actual race car. Now that the field was levelled, you didn’t have the advantage anymore. You knew you wouldn’t be able to outrun him if you kept going on that way, so you had to change your strategy.

You took a sharp turn to the left and grabbed a clothesline, pulling out a knife from your belt and severing in behind your grip. You took a good running start and let yourself fall on the building on the other side of the street, pausing to glance at Red Robin standing where you had just been seconds ago. He was trying to find another way to cross, but there was none and even he couldn’t make that jump. You gave him a wave and a wink before taking off again. However, on the corner of your eyes, you still could see him tracking you relentlessly, not letting you get away so easily. 

You jumped over an alley, and instead of landing on the next roof, you aimed for the first balcony from the top. With your shoulder first and your head tucked in, you went straight through the sliding door window and rolled on the landing to smooth your fall. You glanced beside you at the terrified man in his underwear who was cowering on the couch and looked behind you, shrugging.

“Sorry for the mess” You didn’t wait until he replied to walk out the apartment. You jogged down the stairs, knowing Red Robin would have lost your trace now. Or so you thought.

You halted your steps when you noticed him waiting at the bottom of the staircase and leaning on the rail with a nonchalant expression, like it had been easy to predict you would come out that way. He returned the little sarcastic wave you had given him minutes earlier, making your face fall. You turned around and climbed back the steps back to the first floor, barging in and running across the hallway until you reached the window at the end. You took the time to open this one, seeing as he had not yet reached the floor. You slipped through it and climbed down the wall to land into the back alley. You were about to head for the streets when an already too familiar red and black figure blocked your way.

You took off in the opposite direction, well, until you came face to face with a brick wall. There was nothing to climb onto, no fire exit to use, no way to get away. You closed your eyes and cursed under your breath as footsteps reached you. He wasn’t in a hurry, his pace was tauntingly slow and confident he had you trapped. You recomposed yourself before turning around to face him.

“You forced me to make a mistake” You stated with a sigh. “Impressive”

“Told you” He said, taking a step toward you. “Arrogance did end up being your downfall”

“I don’t suppose we could have a rematch, uh?” You tried, smiling coyly. “That staff didn’t seem such a bad idea in hindsight”

“If you thought you could win then, you wouldn’t have dragged me into this pointless chase” He scoffed, and your eyebrows raised. He was right, but damn. “Unless you want a beating at that too”

“Ouch” You chuckled. “That really hurts my pride”

“Good” He smirked. “Now that you know you won’t get away from this one, just do the logical thing and surrender. There’s nowhere to go”

You held eye contact for a moment before slowly raising your hands. “Alright” You complied with a nod. “You earned that one”

He took careful steps toward you, alert to whatever quick move you would do. But you could recognize when you were beaten, so you didn’t plan any surprise move. Getting caught by a vigilante was an eventuality, even you knew you wouldn’t escape them forever. You just didn’t think it would have been this soon. He grabbed your wrists, and once he was sure he had you solidly enough, he twisted your arm behind you and pushed you rather roughly into the brick wall.

“Woah there champion” You coughed out in surprise. “I feel that spark between us, I really do, and I admit I am partially to blame for it, but I’m kinda seeing someone? And I’m really into him so if you could just. Stop manhandling me that way, that’d be great”

You felt him take a considerable step backward, and his grip on your arm dropped. You frowned, carefully turning around to face him. You didn’t understand why he had let you go, and his blush combined with his bewildered expression only made you more confused.

“Okay, what is going on, now?” You asked, not taking your eyes off him. It was like he was a completely different person now, and you couldn’t point out exactly why it was suddenly so familiar. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, jeez”

“I’m not” He defended too quickly, his voice wavering. Your eyes squinted even more as you took one step forward. He didn’t move, it was like he was frozen in place. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over for you”

“Uh” You took another step, and he squared up, trying to cover the fact he had totally lost his edge over you. You could have made a run for it, you knew it would have been ridiculously easy at that moment to evade him, but something held you back. You scrutinized him, your head tilting to the side. He gulped, and suddenly it all pieced together. That reaction to your flirting, you knew it all too well. Your eyes widened, before you gave him a sympathetic smile. “You know, while this mask does suit you, I prefer to see your eyes, handsome”

His muscles tensed for a second or two, but his shoulder sagged soon after. He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “How long have you known?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean, how long?” You asked. “Thirty five seconds ago”

“You didn’t know before?”

“Uh, no” You replied. “What does it matter?”

“You… You didn’t go on a date with me to distract me from your trail?”

“No, I went on a date with you because I like you?” You raised an eyebrow. “I would have been way more careful with my lies if I had known, fuck I was so obvious, no wonder you figured it out. Besides, I just told you I’m really into you--”

You were surprised by the sudden movement of his arm that sneaked behind your neck and brought you flush against his lips. Okay then. You returned the kiss without hesitation holding on to his shoulders under the sheer force he was applying against you. It was a lot different from the shy boy you had met at the racetrack, but then again, he was Red Robin right now, more so than Tim Drake. You could have never connected the two if it hadn’t been from your flirting from up close. Before you knew, he tore himself from you and jumped back like you were actual fire, cursing under his breath. You blinked slowly at his sudden absence from your immediate vicinity, then rolled your eyes. Dramatic much?

“What is it now?”

“You’re still a criminal” Now he refused to meet your eyes. 

“Are you-- Is this because of what happened in the alley the other day?” You sighed, throwing your hands up before letting them fall back and slap on the side of your thighs. “I’m sorry, okay? I wouldn’t have ran you into the garbage pile if I had known it was you. And I wouldn’t have threatened you with a rocket launcher either-- Shit okay I see your point, I’m really sorry about that too”

“No!” He yelled. “I mean, yeah, kind of. But you kill people for a living, I can’t--”

“What does it change?” You asked. “You liked me before you found out. You were about to hand me to the police, I still like you! In fact, if you could ram me into the wall once again like you just did, I wouldn’t--”

“Please stop talking”

You grinned. “Does it turn you on?”

“Y-No” He replied, correcting himself last second. You raised a subjective eyebrow. “Stop that”

“Stop what?” You asked innocently. “I’m just saying it’s on the table. If I had known it was you when you did it, I would have enjoyed it so you’re welcome to do it again”

“Do you ever stop flirting?” He deadpanned. He crossed his arms against his chest, but it definitely didn’t have the intended effect. Instead, you just checked him out even more, since his muscles were very well defined in that suit. You liked it.

“With you? Not a chance, handsome”

And here came the blush again. He looked away and gulped, ignoring your self satisfied smile. You could do that all day and never get bored of it. Still, you regained a somewhat serious expression for the conversation that was inevitably coming.

“So now what?” You spoke up. “You give me to the cops? We pretend nothing happened between us? Because I’ll be honest with you, I don’t want that. I meant it when I said I liked you”

“My job is to stop crime, and the people who commit it” He began with a sigh. “I just can’t ignore the fact that you are one of the bad guy”

“That’s valid” You nodded slowly. “But this is just a job. I don’t do it for the power trip of taking people out, I do it because I’m good at it, and because I like the money that comes with it. Although, I’ll admit I do enjoy making dramatic exits from time to time--all the time”

Tim snorted. Of course you liked your exit, that had been obvious from the start. But even if he did not agree with your job, or with the lack of morals that came with it, he had to recognize the difference between you and the typical Gotham criminal. From what he had found out so far about you, you never caused casualties in any of your contracts. You always kept the mess to a minimum. You were a far cry from the Joker or Poison Ivy, for that matter.

Even if you couldn’t see his eyes clearly, you could just see the gears turning in his head. Would it be so bad if he let you go? What if he kept seeing you? He could agree with you on one thing: behind his reluctance because of your job, he really didn’t want to pretend nothing happened. He liked you a lot, and it absolutely frustrated him that the one god sent person he instantly clicked with was on the other side of his moral spectrum. 

“Tell me” You said softly, bringing back his attention to you. “If you had never found out about my job, would you have asked me on a second date?”

“Yes” He didn’t hesitate in his answer. It was like you could read his mind, reminding him of how well you fit together. He wanted both to scream and to kiss you again. 

You took a deep breath, letting him think some more. You could very much suspect the news of your activities was harder on him than his were on you, so you understood the need to let him a little space while he figured it all out. You had half expected him to go ahead with his initial plan though, so you prepared yourself mentally for him eventually binding your wrists and dragging you to the nearest precinct. 

That’s probably why you were surprised when he took a step aside, no longer blocking you from leaving. You didn’t move, only stared at him.

“I won’t give you a free pass if I catch you doing shady stuff” He sighed, gesturing to the exit of the alley. “ But for this time, I guess I’ll see you next time you do something stupid”

“Not before?” You raised an eyebrow. The corner of his lips slightly lifted.

“Maybe before”

“Is that a yes on the second date?” You asked, hopeful. “7:30 next Friday at that lobster place you mentioned?”

“Will you be working that night?”

“I won’t!” You hurried to confirm. “I swear I won’t”

He let out a long sigh like he was reconsidering his entire life. “What the hell, sure”

“Great!” You grinned wide, stealing a quick kiss on his lips. 

“Go, now” He ordered, gaining back his more authoritative vigilante voice. Oof, that was hot, you thought, but you kept it to yourself for once. “Before I change my mind”

“See you on Friday, handsome!”

He watched you run out of the alley, finding himself suddenly excited at the prospect of seeing you again, whether it would be as Red Robin or as himself on a date with you.

[imaginetonyandbucky]

(Give Me A) Reason To Live

Chapter 2

by @dracusfyre

“Do you know where they are planning to take him?” James asked as he headed for the stairs up to his room. Tony started to follow him then realized that James was going to drop his towel to get dressed and after a moment of temptation, stayed at the bottom of the stairs instead.

“SHIELD facility in New York,” Tony called up, trying very hard to concentrate on anything except what his imagination was currently trying to show him regarding a naked James next to a bed.

“SHIELD SHIELD, or Hydra SHIELD?” James said from above, voice slightly muffled.

“SHIELD SHIELD, as far as I can tell,” Tony said. “Fury himself is taking the lead, for now. But there’s always the question of what will happen after he wakes up, and I’m sure Hydra will be trying to weasel themselves into those plans.”

“True.” James jogged back down the stairs, his shirt clinging to damp skin and hair pulled away from his face. “So what do you think? Intercept before or after he wakes up?”

“After, I think.” Tony led him downstairs to the lab, where James had his own computer setup. He sat down at it and powered it on while Tony fired up the fancy coffee machine in the back of the room. “I mean, we have no idea how to thaw out someone safely, and no equipment to do so if we did.”

“True.” James pulled up the Hydra files and read the message that had sent Tony racing up the stairs, then started searching for the exact location of the Valkyrie and the NY SHIELD office to start planning. After a few weeks of fits and starts due to poor communication, they had finally settled into a good division of labor: Tony dug through the files for appropriate targets and when he had them, James would come up with the actual plan of attack. “The exfil will be a lot easier if he’s awake.”

Tony nodded and silence reigned for a long time, broken only by the sound of keyboards and James occasionally making notes. He didn’t realize he had fallen asleep at his desk until James shook him awake and herded him to bed. He’d been having a dream about Captain America, some fuzzy half-remembered thing where the man was scolding him for something, then he had turned into Tony’s father and sent Tony to his room. You didn’t have to be a shrink to pick up on that symbolism, Tony thought as he fell into bed.

“You should get undressed,” James said and Tony froze, suddenly wide awake as his heart hammered. Did he really…?

“What?” He managed, rolling over to look up at James.

Who raised an eyebrow and pointed to Tony’s feet. “You’re still wearing the shoes we went hiking in,” he pointed out, and Tony let his head fall back against the pillows as his face got hot.

“Right,” he mumbled, and toed them off to fall on the floor. James was still standing there, looking expectant, so with a put-upon sigh Tony sat up and started peeling off the rest of his clothes as well.

“This is going to change everything, isn’t it?” he said as James started to leave. “This thing with Cap?”

James hesitated at the door, the hand on the door frame gleaming in the dim light from the computers in the next room. “Get some sleep, Tony,” he said after a moment. “We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

There was that sick feeling again. Tony tossed his clothes in the corner and fell back into bed, and recited the digits of pi until he fell asleep.

                                                 ~~~~~

By the time Tony woke up and stumbled up the stairs, James was awake and thankfully already making breakfast. He shuffled up to the kitchen table and muttered a thanks as James slid a cup of coffee across the table. James knew better than to attempt conversation before Tony was ready, so they sat and ate in silence until Tony was finally awake enough to say, “Any news?”

“Nothing much. They needed special equipment to break through the ice without destabilizing the plane and sending it to the bottom of the ocean,” James said between bites of pancake.

“So we’ve got time?”

“Little bit.”

“Got a plan?”  At that, James tilted his head back and forth in an eh, sort of motion. “What do you need?”

“More intel.”

Tony just grunted and finished off his coffee. If James still had questions they would be ready and waiting for Tony downstairs, and since they had time, Tony needed at least one more cup of coffee before dealing with that. He pushed away from the table and put his plate in the dishwasher, then refilled his coffee and sat back down while James kept eating. This was another good system that they’d figured out over the past year; James ate twice as much as Tony, at least, to power that supersoldier metabolism, which worked out because by the time James was done eating, Tony was finished with his second cup of coffee and they were both ready to start the day.  “Hey, where’s he going to sleep?” Tony blurted out without thinking, then cringed. “Nevermind, that’s a stupid question.”

James just shrugged as he used his last bite to sop up some maple syrup. “Dunno. One of us will have to double bunk with someone, or take the couch, or get another mattress. Does it matter?”

“No, of course not.”

But James was eyeing him thoughtfully. “Is that what you meant? Last night?”

“Huh?”

“You said this was going to change everything.”

“Oh.” Tony looked down at his coffee cup to avoid James’ eyes. “I, uh, I meant we’re not going to be able to fly under the radar anymore, you know? After stealing Captain America out from under SHIELD and Hydra’s noses.”

“True.” As James picked up his plate and put it in the dishwasher as well, he said, “You should call him Steve. We’re rescuing Steve Rogers, not Captain America.”

Right. Of course. Like Tony could forget that James and Cap- Steve had a past. “Yeah, sure, sorry,” Tony muttered, taking a sip of coffee against the sour taste in his mouth. “I’ll head downstairs and get started on that intel.”

Once downstairs, he could see why James had left these questions to him. Questions like finding the building plans for the SHIELD facility and learning which personnel were going to be assigned to Steve were going to take some hacking to find out. Fortunately, when it came to SHIELD, Hydra was already infested in their systems, and Tony had a backdoor to Hydra, so by lunch time he was jogging back up the stairs to tell James what he’d found and almost tripped over a Barret MK22.

“Careful,” James said, sitting at the center of what looked like an explosion in a firearms factory. “I thought you’d be down there for longer.”

“Packing for the trip?” Tony asked, stepping carefully around the sniper rifle and picking his way through the rest of James’ collection towards the kitchen.

“Planning. Trying to figure out what we might need to pick up before we go.”

“I got that info for you, if that helps your planning.” Tony took one of the many frozen meals out of the freezer and popped it in the microwave. “Looks like they are keeping this information pretty close to the chest, which is good for us. Not going to be a lot of attention on him when it comes time to do our thing.” James only made an absent noise, clearly still lost in thought as he stared at a stack of C4, so for a while there was only the humming of the microwave until Tony got impatient and opened the door early. “I’ll be downstairs,” he told James as he grabbed a fork and gingerly picked up his molten hot lasagna.

“I’m coming,” James said, getting to his feet with a smooth, easy motion that made Tony feel every one of his years. Tony settled down in his computer chair as James stood behind him, leaving Tony with a prickling awareness of how close he was. Tony took a deep breath to steady himself and pulled up the report he’d slapped together. First was the building plan, and after it got James’ nod of approval Tony sent it to the jumbo printer because he knew that James liked to work off of hard copies. Next was a series of internal shield memos proposing a variety of plans for what to do when Steve woke up, and James snorted derisively as he read them. “Not a single one of these people know anything about Steve, do they?”

“I mean, only what they learned from history books, I guess. What would you do?”

“You mean what am I going to do? I’m going to say, ‘Wake the fuck up, Steve, we gotta get out of here now follow me.’”

Tony laughed and saw James’ mouth curl up at the corners. “Simple and effective. I like it.” Since SHIELD was still trying to decide its plan of action, Tony dismissed the emails and started pulling up the personnel list.  Like he’d said, it wasn’t long; SHIELD was playing this one close to the vest for now.

“Wait.” Tony immediately stopped scrolling as James leaned over his shoulder, smelling like shower soap and gun oil. “I know her,” James said, frowning. He pointed at the redhead. “Who is she?”

“Well, her SHIELD ID says Natalie Rushman,” Tony said. “Is she Hydra?”

“No…” James said slowly, eyebrows drawing together as he tried to remember. Many of his memories had come back surprisingly quickly once they’d escaped Hydra, making for some really touch-and-go moments in the early months as James had often woken up screaming from nightmares and had wandered around the cabin hollow-eyed and haunted. Going into the woods had been his escape in those days, and he’d only told Tony what he was up to after Tony had gotten cabin fever and decided to go for a hike and figure out what all the hype was about with fresh air and nature. “I think I shot her once.”

“Think she’d know your face?”

“Maybe.” Tony could tell that James was still frustrated by the almost-there memory so he left the image up on the screen for him to stare at.

“That’ll be a complication, since she’s part of his reintegration team,” Tony mused. “Strangely enough, I guess that means between the two of us, I’ll be the one least likely to be recognized. Not something I ever thought I’d say.”

“Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”

“Um…” Tony squinted at James and realized that obviously James wouldn’t know much about Tony’s past, other than what he’d told him or what James would have seen in the Hydra files. Especially if it hadn’t occurred to James to look him up on the internet, which he guessed was possible. “I was, uh, kind of a celebrity.”

“What for? Were you a movie star or something?”

Tony made a face. He didn’t want to admit that he was mostly famous for a series of sex scandals to someone who had personally known Captain America. “Nothing good,” he said finally. “Stupid stuff.” No chance James wasn’t going to Google him now, but at least he wouldn’t have to explain to James’ face why there were so many pictures on the internet of him naked. Thankfully, James just shrugged, apparently willing to leave it at that, so Tony quickly went through the rest of the items on James’ list. There was also no further updates on the efforts to get Steve out of the ice, so they were officially in Tony’s least favorite part of any operation: the hurry up and wait part.

With nothing else to do in the lab, Tony set JARVIS to keep an eye on any further communication and followed James back up the stairs. Since the couch was the only part of the living room that wasn’t covered in some kind of weapon, Tony perched on it and turned on the TV while James organized his collection. Making sad noises at James got him his forgotten lasagna from downstairs with the low, low cost of grumbling and an eye roll, leaving Tony to have a pleasant couple of hours hanging out in companionable silence with James. At some point, James had changed position to lean against the couch while sitting on the floor, which had meant that his back was pressing against Tony’s leg, warm and solid and something Tony only thought about every 15 seconds or so for a solid hour.  

“I was thinking about what you said earlier,” James said after a while, sitting up and sadly moving away from Tony as he started to put away the weapons, sorting them into piles and returning some to their hiding places. “About this operation breaking our cover.”

“Yeah?”

“Your suit. Could you make it flashy?”

“Flashy?” Tony echoed in confusion. He had a couple of suit builds now, based on the various types of missions they went on, but all of them were matte black and had a rubberized exterior to reduce the noise and radar profile. “I mean, sure, that wouldn’t be hard. But why?”

“Our best bet might be for you to create a distraction, and I think you zooming down 5th Avenue would be a good distraction.”

Tony stared at him, stomach turning as his whole body went hot and cold with fear. “No,” he said shakily, turning away from James and sliding further into the couch, staring resolutely at the TV screen. “No fucking way.” Tony pulled the blanket tighter around himself, curling into a ball. Everything depended on him not being seen, on Hydra not knowing he was alive. Everything. How could James not know that? Was Tony supposed to jump at the chance to sacrifice himself for Steve? Because one look at the suit and Hydra would know, Stane would know, and then– then-

A sudden warm hand on his shoulder made him jump and lash out. When his hands only met hard muscle fight turned to flight and he scrambled away. But as he tried to get to his feet he tripped over a blanket and hit the floor hard, knocking the wind out of him. His heart was pounding in his ears but eventually he heard James talking to him, saying “Tony, fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize, just wait,” and that was like a bucket of water to the face. He realized he was sweating and his breathing was fast and shallow, and as he looked up at James he felt the hot crawl of humiliation.

“I’m fine,” he said shortly as he climbed to his feet. “I’m going to take a shower.” He could feel the pressure of James’ eyes and his silence against his back as he went to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He shook for a while, leaning against the bathroom door, before he finally managed to turn on the shower.

The awkwardness lasted until dinner, with James clearly wanting to say something but unsure how to bring it up, and Tony too embarrassed to meet his eye or give him an opening. Thankfully, JARVIS gave them an update halfway through dinner, and the tension eased as conversation turned towards their plan. Since James had cooked, Tony reluctantly got up to do the dishes, only to have James gently crowd him away from the sink. “You need to get ready for the mission,” James pointed out, which was a flimsy excuse because it didn’t take that long to get the suit ready to go now that Tony had figured out how to make it deploy from something the size of a suitcase, but Tony didn’t argue. He hated doing dishes.

It was also better than staying upstairs and risking that James would say something, so he went downstairs to prep the suit. Once down there, though, he slowed as he approached the Mark VII, remembering James’ suggestion earlier. Though the thought still make his limbs feel weak and his heart race, he forced himself to sit down and consider the idea instead of running from it. He knew what James had been trying to suggest; he could get the attention of the police and any SHIELD agents in the area and draw them away from James while he rescued Steve. He could even put a few holes in the building to cover their escape then disappear as soon as they were clear. It was smart, it was simple, and it was fucking terrifying.

Though there was no escaping the fact that Tony had put in a lot of effort making sure Hydra would think he was dead, and this was going to undo all of that work. “Fuck,” Tony groaned, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. It wasn’t like James wasn’t risking everything, too, but apparently he was willing to let Tony take the cowards way out even if it made their plan harder. “JARVIS,” he said finally, voice muffled behind his hands. “Warm up the machines, we’re modifying one of the suits. We’re changing up the armor.” What was an eye-catching color? Probably red, a bright red. All the better to wave himself in front of the metaphorical bull. But all red would look like shit. “Red and gold,” Tony said finally. “Make me a mockup of the armor in red and gold.”

[shhh-no-ones-home]

party planning committee marcus moreno x reader

+++++++++

this is a story in four parts, youll see what i mean when you read it but i wasnt exactly sure how i wanted to do this at first and thats just sort of what i landed on. but i think it kind of works.

He asks for your help to plan missy's birthday party since he still really has no idea how to do the whole girl party thing

Song: island in the sun by weezer

tag list: @cynic-spirit

+++++++++

i moved to knock on the door when i heard a loud crashing sound, startling me. i knocked quickly and loudly after that, waiting for a moment before opening the door.

"marcus?!"

i yelled, looking around the living room.

"missy?"

i asked, stepping further into the house. when i made it to the kitchen i sighed in relief, my hand going to my chest as i saw marcus stood over the sink with a mixing bowl in his hand, a few other stainless steel appliances strewn about.

"marcus?"

i asked lightly and he jumped, looking to me and breathing deeply.

"jesus y/n, you scared me."

he said shaking his head. i walked closer to the counter.

"i knocked but i heard a loud noise and got worried. im just glad to see youre not hurt."

i stated, turning one of the bowls upright. he shook his head.

"well my pride is a little hurt but im glad youre looking out for me."

he said, looking from me to the paper sat on the counter. i furrowed my brows, looking over the island to see what it was. i laughed when i realized he was trying to make a cake.

"marcus what are you doing?"

i asked, picking it up and shaking the flower off of it. he sent me a bashful smile.

"well, i was trying to make a cake for missy's birthday but i guess that ship sailed a while ago."

he said, looking around to the mess he had worked so hard on. i shook my head, waving my hand in the air and everything picking itself back upright, the empty bowls stacking together and the powders on the counter making their way into a pile.

"here, let me help."

°°°°°°°°°

"Okay, now that the cake is done, what else did you need help with?"

I asked, wiping my hands on the kitchen towel and looking to him expectantly. He sighed.

"All of it actually."

He said, shaking his head and walking to the table. I raised a brow and followed him.

"Marcus you make it sound like you've never had a birthday party for missy before."

I said with a laugh and he sent me a look, turning his datapad on.

"I know but I never did any of this, it was always her mom. And last year be both just agreed on no party, just take time to be together instead."

I nodded as I sat beside him.

"I know how much you both miss her, hell I find myself missing her sometimes too. She really was the best part of the team, even without powers."

I lamented, looking to my hands now folded in front of me on the table.

"I just wish things were easier."

He said and I nodded in agreement.

"I'm sure they'll get there, one day at a time. But you gotta work at it, like today. You've already successfully made a cake."

I pointed out and he laughed.

"Yeah, and without your help that probably would've ended very badly."

I laughed too, shaking my head.

"Baking really isn't for everyone."

I said and he side nodded, opening a planning sheet in his tablet.

"You can say that again."

He mumbled, turning it to show me.

"This is what I have so far, and everything she wanted."

He said and I nodded, reading through it.

"This is her twelfth birthday, and she's finally made more friends, thanks to the heroics program. I just want this to be a special one for her."

He said and I sent him a small smile.

"So, did she give you this invite list, or did you make it yourself?"

I asked and he looked at me funny.

"Both?"

He asked and I laughed a little bit.

"Okay, that's good, I guess. Cause it's her party so you want to make sure you're inviting people she likes to talk to and hang out with."

He nodded in understanding.

"Right. I did run it by her but i sent the cards out already, time wasnt really on my side for this one."

He said bashfully and I nodded once.

"thats Okay, it looks like you at least have a theme done. That's good. List of essentials. Oh okay. now let's look at what you have planned."

I scrolled down and stopped, sending him a look. So far he just had 'sleepover?' he let out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his neck.

"A sleepover?"

I asked and he shrugged, slouching a little defeated.

"Yeah I don't know. It just seemed like a good idea. She used to have them all the time. But again, I never really did any of that stuff."

I nodded, tapping the screen and deleting his idea.

"Here, how about this: a pool party. I know you're a master of the grill, you could invite all the heroic kids and their parents over and have a barbeque. The kids can swim. It'll be a good time."

I suggested and he nodded, a wide smile on his face.

"That actually sounds like a really good idea y/n."

He said and I sent him a knowing smile.

"we can run that by missy too, just to make sure, we only have a few days after all and we need time to notify the guests that weve changed things."

°°°°°°°°°

when the big day finally came i was awoken from my spot on the couch to missy jumping down the stairs excitedly, a wide smile across her face as she dug in the fridge for something for breakfast. i had spent the night to help marcus decorate and was definitely regretting staying up as late as we did.

"morning."

she said in a chipper tone and i offered her a smile as i sat up.

"morning."

i said a little groggy, looking back over to the stairs as marcus trudged down them too, a tired look on his face.

"morning."

he groaned, going straight to the coffee pot and pouring a cup. i laughed a little at him as i stood up, stretching out.

"ready to get cooking?"

i asked, pulling my sweater on. i hadnt expected to sleep over so i was still in the clothes i had worn over. he just sent me a look, missy eating at the table now and nodding quickly.

"why did we make this thing for one oclock again?"

he asked playfully and missy sent him a look.

"youre the one who agreed to the pool party."

she pointed out and he made an 'o' shape with his mouth, making missy and i both laugh as i joined her at the table.

"alright, let me go get dressed and then we will start cooking."

°°°°°°°°°

when the party was finally over and everything was cleaned up i looked to marcus, drying the last of the dishes and putting them away quietly.

"what ya thinking about?"

i asked, leaning into the island and watching him intently. he frowned at me for a second.

"do you think she really had fun today?"

he said, looking over to the couch. after all the guests had left missy had showered and changed, and after having aloe applied generously to her sunburnt face, fell into a deep sleep sitting on the couch. i smiled, remembering what she had said to me earlier when she came in to get a drink.

"well considering she thanked earlier for making her birthday a special one for both of you im gonna go with yes."

i said, him finally smiling back at me as he put the last dish away.

"she really said that?"

he asked and i nodded.

"it was mentioned."

he sent me a look.

"she had said that not only was she having fun, but she was just happy to see you enjoying yourself again too. all the heroics laughing and having a good time next to their kids also having a good time; you really made a difference today."

he shook his head.

"okay, and what about you?"

i raised a brow.

"what about me?"

"did you have a good time today?"

he asked pointedly and i sighed out a laugh.

"yes Marcus, i had a very good time today."

i confirmed and he nodded once.

"good, because i would feel so bad if you hadnt. youve helped me so much here lately, i think you deserve it the most out of all of us."

i shook my head at him amused.

"thanks, but i doubt that."

he swallowed hard, furrowing his brows.

"no no don't say that, you work twice as hard as the rest of us. i just wish you could see that."

i looked to the ceiling for a moment before standing up and stretching.

"well if thats true then i think i deserve some sleep. though it has been fun, it has been one long day."

he nodded once.

"want to stay the night again? you can sleep upstairs in my room tonight if you want, i think missy has kind of taken over your spot."

he said with a laugh.

"i probably shouldnt, i need to get home, i gotta get my mail water my plants, all that jazz."

he watched me with a light gaze as i gathered up my things.

"well, im glad you could come over. and if you want to come back tomorrow for lunch-"

"id love that marcus."

i said and he smiled at me, a small blush visibly rising to his face.

"its a date?"

he asked, walking to the door with me. i thought for a second and nodded.

"yeah, its a date."

i said, his smile getting wider as i stepped outside.

"ill text you what time ill be over."

"ill be waiting."

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

ooo if youre willing you could maybe write about the first kiss or first confession or both (pardon my greedy self) either is fine id love to see more moriarty x reader. THANK YOUU

Im sorry the waiting! Albert's part will be on another publication as it didn't fit inside this one

William

The music and the chatter of the nobles was obnoxious at best and the ship moved a bit too much to your liking

" Could you remind me why we are acting as a couple for this mission? As far as I remember moneypenny could act this part flawlessly and I could be staying home today" you questioned williams while still hooked to his arm

" Miss Moneypenny is a busy person, she isn't available all the time. You on the other hand…" williams didn't seem like he thought too much about your question, mesmerized by the stairs

" Williams james moriarty,Are you suggesting I do nothing all day long?!" You whisper-yelled at him. You weren't in a great mood that day. first, moran dirtied the dress you wanted to use and had to do some needle work with another dress for it to look good enough, but then louis had tripped and spilled tea in the dress you just fixed and had to go buy another dress at last minute with the only person available, williams who seemed specially picky about the dress

" You know that isn't what I wanted to say, why don't you go for a drink?" Williams suggested, hoping the walk would calm you down and you left looking like you were ready to bite someone's head off if they talked to you.

" He is a mathematician"

By the time you reached the table you couldn't hear them anymore but you could see them, the boy seemed like the type to show off often but over all he looked like a good boy. What stung your heart a little were the pretty girls who were by them, even if your relationship was only for this case your crush for Williams was true. When you thought of him falling in love with you it seemed impossible but when you were changed by one of the girls it seemed more likely that you wanted to admit.

" Well, he should get a girlfriend and see if I care" you started drinking from the champagne glasses the waiters were giving ' where did he find such a pretty ring? I know he wants to make this look real but this seems like a bit too much, how much did it cost even?' You thought while looking at the ring in your left hand, a red diamond in a gold band. After finishing one glass of champagne you left it on a tray and grabbed another two.

You were making your way to williams' side " Liam, I brought some champagne, do you want?" You already were extending your arm to give it to him " could you introduce me to your acquaintance here?"

" He is a detecti-" williams said but was cut

" You can call me sherlock young lady~" sherlock introduced himself holding your hand and kissing it and smiling " a single detective who may be looking for a roommate"

"Hahaha, for now I'm an engaged woman" you let go of his hand and got closer to fix his tie"but ask me again and I might say yes, darling"

Williams stepped in separating Sherlock from you " Well detective, I shall also try analyzing you" Williams said bringing a hand to his chin " you look like you play violin, but not necessarily a musician. You seem to be in a good physical state and... prefer hand to hand combat " he stepped ahead to inspect him closer " additionally you conduct science experiment but hate your own drug dependence" williams stared at his eyes before continuing " obviously a graduate from Oxbridge and, by the way you talk as if you know everything, you must be really proud of your background, mother specially"

" How did you know?" Sherlock kept looking in his eyes smiling coyly

"Isn't it obvious?" Shot back williams half smiling then he turned to you " why don't we go for some fresh air? Love " williams wrapped his arms around your waist and almost dragging you outside

"That wasn't necessary, williams" you fixed your skirt " what did you want to talk about?"

" I calculate in 15 minutes the main character will do his kill. As soon as I notify you go look for moran and fred and wait for the body to be thrown , did I make myself clear? You know where they are?" William fixed a hair behind your ear

" Yes, williams" you rested against a wall " but there is still some time, why did you have to whisk me away,I was having fun"

" We are married, those types of comments shouldn't be made in public or in any case should be directed to me" he stood by your side while looking at the moon

" Cut me some slack, he would have taken it as a joke so no harm was made! Plus this marriage isn't going to last longer than this trip" you sighed

Williams looked at you " this trip?"

"As soon as we finish this mission we won't be a pair 'help me kill this noble' you said' you toyed with the ring

" Perhaps I didn't make myself clear. We are married for this case, and the next, and the following, to the end of this year and the next and the following years" he propped on his arm " did I explain myself correctly this time"

" You can't just decide that by yourself "

" But you are in love with me, I didn't think you would have anything against the arrangement. Plus in your diary you didn't seem too disgusted by the idea"

You jumped " you read my diary?!"

Williams laughed softly " not really, I was just theorizing but it seems like I was right" your face felt hot " so? Are you going to accept my proposal this time"

" No" you said sharply

" Do you think i don't like you?"

"Mhn"

"I really like you."

" Yeah, sure" you turned around and entered the ship but he grabbed you by the wrist and kept you close

" I love you. I truly do, from your dreamy eyes in the morning, to your stupid mannerisms when you are nervous or I get too close, how you always make a point to help the others when they are in need." Williams seemed really composed and confident in himself when he started but as he went on his voice slightly cracked.

Williams pressed your foreheads together and you kissed him wrapping your arms around his neck. For a second he didn't know how to answer the unexpected kiss but he grabbed your head to deepen the kiss. After you two had to stop kissing you were trying to catch your breath while looking at each other

" Yo, lovebirds, are you done? The main character already went to his room with the dude"

You almost killed moran that night

louis

"Letter for miss YN" the lady's handmaid stood by her side handing a little envelope closed with a crimson wax seal

"I'm busy right now, put in on the desk"

" You told me to notice you in case of a letter arriving from the moriarty house" YN turned her neck so fast lily feared she would have whiplash "but it seems you are too busy now, i will have to set it aside-"

" Give me!" YN practically jumped over the maid but she dodged the lady " who sent it? What does it say?"

The older woman giggled and turned around" now I don't want to tell you!"

" Lily, you are mean! At least tell me what it says"

The short woman read the letter, it was short and straightforward. "It seems the duke Moriarty has asked for your presence at his manor, the reason is simply put as 'an old business we left unfinished."

" Lily pack your things up, we are going to stay for sometime time"

" As you wish"

And some hours later the two women had each one two suitcases and were ready to board the carriage that was decorated with the noble's family emblem.

" Milady I will have to stop at one business before going to the manor" despite the young lady disliking the formal way of talking towards her she brushed it aside given that the coachman could hear the maid talk in an 'improper' way that could bring her troubles

" You are stopping by the dressmaker?"

" Indeed, I might need a few favors that she owes me"

" Should I send the carriage for you before tea or after?"

"There will be no need, I am going to return on my own accord"

The rest of the trip was dead silent, either of them wished to speak nor needed to, as they understood each other without the need to break the beautiful silence that surrounded them.

They arrived at the first stop, a dirty corner where there are a lot of signs, ones promoting hair medicine, others for brothels and some others about the ale that came to the nearest bar. That lily insisted on coming was making her go crazy

" Are you sure you need to do this now? We could go tomorrow morning at broad daylight" Lily didn't even listen to her Lady's complains as she dragged her skirts out of the carriage and grabbed her baggage

" Madam, I was raised here, nothing bad will happen. Don't worry" her smile and voice was comforting to certain point but it didn't ease the belief that she was lying to calm the younger woman down a little

" Please take care. I'll meet you at the moriarty state"

And so the trip began again and she let herself daydream. wondering why did the moriarty call for her presence, the ways she helped them didn't call for her to be near, did someone catch them and needed to run away? Or to fake one of their deaths? The possibilities worried her to the point of neglecting the reality.

It was a few minutes before the clock striked eleven that the coachman snapped YN out of her trance.

" We arrived" the old man didn't meet her eyes as he announced the end of the trip

" Thank you very much, sir" YN rushed to thank the old man before taking her suitcase and carry the leathery case to the main door

Letting the leather of her suitcase hit the ground she sighed and leaned back looking at the lion knocker and knocking twice. After a few minutes she was getting impatient and took the key from the envelope, good thing they sent a replicate.

Stepping inside and leaving her baggage by the door YN wondered inside the house, the card told her to settle down and choose one room by her own of there was nobody there

" Hello? Albert? Louis? Williams? Is anybody home?" And turning one corner you could see a beautiful flight of stairs

" Oh miss? I didn't know you would be coming" louis was standing on top of the stairway rest with a broom

" I received a letter asking for me to stay for a time" she looked around, wondering if they were alone" Your brothers?"

" They went to arrange the new show, another homicide noble. As always" louis resumed his work cleaning the stairs " please make yourself home and choose a room, all the guest rooms in the left hallway are clean and weren't chosen by anyone yet"

Yn stood at the bottom of the stairs "They left you to clean all of this alone? They are so mean."walking up the stairs to louis and taking the broom out of his hands she smiled at him "You know what? Lily has to arrange some things so let me help you clean"

" You don't really have to, i can take care of this" louis tried to take the broom from your hands but YN hugged it closer to her chest

" It wasn't a proposal. It was a fact" and she turned around leaving her back facing louis

Louis looked incredulous that YN would be so childish given her usual proper behavior " YN I have to clean. Can I-" and he tried to take it away from from her but she hit them away

" No!" And she skipped the steps from the stairway rest to the second floor " catch me if you can~" the woman teased him in a singsong voice before starting running.

Louis was astonished for a second before he began chasing after her " miss! I really want to end the stairs before dinner"

The chase didn't last long as the lady tripped with the red carpet and fell over a sofa. Louis knelt down next to her

" Are you going to give me the broom now? As much as I love you and this game of cat and mouse I have to finish cleaning the stairs. So give it to me"

The young woman weighed her options before smiling devilishly " Let's trade!" And she sat while keeping the broom close to her " One kiss and i return your broom"

Louis sat down and sighed defeated " you truly aren't going to give. up are you?" He was met with a little denial sound

" It isn't as if this was the first time we did it"

" One kiss and you will let me keep doing my job?"

" Yes"

Given the positive he wanted louis got near and grabbed her cheeks. After looking in her expectant eyes, Louis felt his face getting hotter the closer he got. It wasn't until YN could feel his breath on her soft skin that she feared he would pass out from embarrassment.

What seemed like minutes passed by and either of them moved, he was too mesmerized by her and she was taken by the look in his eyes. A few more seconds elapsed before YN started getting impatient leading to her to take the lead, grabbing both of his cheeks and guiding his face to her own.

Her lips brushed against his, softly and slowly before 'changing her mind' and returning to her place, teasingly looking up at him through her eyelashes, waiting for Louis to deepen the kiss. thing that didn't work out the planned way and ended up with louis hitting both of their noses. Louis almost died of embarrassment there

" If you didn't want to kiss just say so" she teased while playing with a lock of her hair, her nose slightly red

" It has been a while since we kissed" louis turned his head so yn couldn't see his blush " I am not accustomed to it"

" Then we should make you get used to it-" Louis was looking like an expectant dog, waiting for the kiss. " Later. I'm going to choose a room right now" and YN walked towards the stairs to go down

" YN" louis called out her name. The woman turned around. This time, Louis grabbed her head and kissed her, way rougher and sloppy than the first one but a kiss at the end.

One of her hands ended on his hair, lightly playing with it, with the other one on his chin, helping him position his head correctly. The kiss was inexperienced and messy but it was their reunion kiss, the first one in two years, filled with joy and relief of finally being together at last

When the kiss ended louis was out of breath and his hair looked a bit unkempt, even when he could barely talk he asked her

" Are you going to leave me again?"

" Louis" YN's eyes were filled with love " i don't plan on going anywhere soon" and she hugged him

He returned the hug with his arms around her hips " good, i wasn't planning on letting you go anywhere either way"

[asklepiean]

Tips for beginners, Pt. 1: How do I start?

This is the first of (I hope) many posts about Cultus Deorum for beginners. The tips you'll read may vary from general suggestions for someone approaching polytheism for the first time to specific things for those interested in Cultus. Given that I'm a hardcore recon a lot of these suggestions will sound quite different than the average "how to *religion*" lists you find on tumblr but are just what I did when I approached a new tradition - for what it's worth, they work.

I'll probably update this post with other details but as a start, these are the suggestions and ideas that can be immediately useful to you.

1) Drop all the socials

Especially during the first phase of the learning process you should be able to focus on your research, and jumping around socials is not a good idea. Socials are good for meeting new and like-minded people but they’re not very useful when it comes to learn things. If you’re easily influenced this can mean trusting idiots who call themselves “priests” and building fragile foundations for your spiritual development. This doesn't mean you have to delete your account, but take some time to reflect on what you're doing and be alone with your thoughts and doubts.

This helps a lot to understand 1) what you want to do without having external inputs that can alter your judgment and 2) building a basic knowledge using reliable academic sources(*) and ancient texts and not trusting second-hand interpretations of secondary sources given by strangers on the internet. And honestly, seeing what is happening on the “polytheist” side of popular socials I would think twice before giving credit to anyone.

(*) I made a lists of useful sources (both ancient and modern) here.

2) Stop thinking that everything is a sign

If you find a pigeon feather on your window and there are pigeons nesting on the roof of your house, that’s hardly a sign. I know it's tempting to think that the Gods are calling you by name to follow Them, but learn to be critical. Signs are given on specific occasions (e.g. when divining or praying) and in antiquity it wasn't common to see many of them. They weren't always nice things (e.g. lightning killing people or destroying monuments, mothers giving birth to deformed children, people dying in ominous circumstances), and when someone needed them they were collected during specific rituals performed by augurs.

If you see too many things there’s a high chance they’re not signs but an attempt to justify what you’re doing. Sometimes signs are obvious, sometimes you have to struggle to understand them. Learn to use a divination system and always question what you see/hear/dream, and you'll learn how to discern divine presence from mundane coincidences.

3) Start learning about the context

If you’re interested in developing a spiritual practice (and it doesn’t matter if you're gonna be a recon, a revivalist, or whatever), you have to study other things than just lists of myths. You need to become knowledgable about the history and culture of those whose religion you want to adopt, and when it comes to Cultus Deorum you have a lot to unpack. Rome lasted for centuries and still deeply influences our culture.

If you don't explore these fields you can't understand why Romans increasingly added new cults and temples in Rome but kept foreigner priests, why Greek culture was so prominent in the Italic context, why Rome and Carthage had a political agreement, or why religion was so tied to politics. It's very easy to accept the "Romans are just copycats" stereotype, and if you don't study the context you won't understand the Gods Themselves.

If you're not familiar with Mediterranean cultures you have to pay double attention. Roman history is still vital for some countries (Italy above all), so for the love of what is most holy in this world have some decency when approaching this topic and be respectful.

4) Don’t use the wheel of the year. Ever.

Romans had a complex calendar and many festivals so if you want to be a cultor/cultrix you need to be familiar with them. Don't use the wheel of the year to substitute the festivals because no, Lughnasadh is not the same thing as the Vinalia, and you can't just switch foreign Gods for Jupiter and Venus. Being familiar with the wheel of the year is not an excuse to alter a whole religious system - if you do it, it's not Cultus Deorum.

While you're at the beginning try to be consistent: do simple things, offer water and bread, chose a God/dess you like and try to set up a small ritual on the kalends and ides. You don't have to celebrate every festival (especially those dedicated to the founding of temples or cities) and other major festivities will come later, more structured rituals and prayers will follow. But again, use the system our forefathers made because there's a reason if things worked for a long time.

5) Understand that Cultus Deorum is community tradition

Roman religion was one with politics and those who cared for the State where the same who held religious offices. Cultus Deorum is deeply rooted in one's community and while it's cool to think about being alone with the Gods it's not a good way to keep a religious life in this context. Pax Deorum was a pact between the Gods and the people (both as individuals and as a unified group). Roman citizens actively took part in political matters and religious celebrations with the same emphasis because it was their duty to do so and many Gods had a civic aspect that was highly praised.

Start understanding how politics work in your country and in your city and while you could not be the kind of person who actively takes part in this, at least be aware of how things work.

6) You can honor different Gods, BUT

Romans had a neat practice called interpretatio romana, or the interpretation of foreign elements based on Roman models. This is what permitted syncretisms and the inclusion of different cultures under Rome's domain. It also permitted the cult of foreign Gods and Goddesses in the City, but at certain conditions: priests/priestess had to be non-Romans, the rites had to be held in a different way than the Roman's.

If you decide to include non-Roman Deities you should research how their cult was seen and interpreted in Rome and in the provinces and act accordingly. This could lead you to explore different topics, such as the army, provincial politics, Near East culture and Hellenic influence in that area.

[wannabespacesmuggler]

L.M. | Of Medicine and Mayhem

Part One | Masterlist | Buy me a coffee

Summary: Maybe you should be thanking Jim Kirk for flirting with your roommate at a bar one night as it allowed you to meet his grumpy best friend, Leonard McCoy. But you’re pretty sure that’d only fuel his ego and that’s definitely not something you want to do.

Pairing: Recruit!Leonard “Bones” McCoy x Recruit!Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.4k

Author’s Note: I used to have a fanfic called Lacuna that I took down because I really liked the idea of it but wasn’t proud of the final version -- which ultimately lead to me abandoning the series. I’ve been stuck in a little bit of a writing rut, but this came to me one night and I just ran with it -- it takes a lot of inspiration from my previous fic but I’m much happier with this right now. So enjoy a Starfleet Academy drabble about you, your mess of a roommate, everyone’s favorite homewrecker, and your favorite cranky, medical student -- maybe I’ll continue these.

Playlist to Accompany: Cowboy & Starshine

"Live now; make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again."

You can barely hear your roommate over the constant commotion erupting from the patrons of the rowdy bar. In hindsight, you should have known that the bar would be complete chaos: tonight marked the end of Starfleet Academy’s final examinations and this bar in particular was the closest place to grab a drink for a young recruit like yourself. If someone were to tell you right now that every current Starfleet recruit in your class was at this bar, you honestly would not be able to disprove them -- there are really that many people packed into these four walls and there isn’t a uniform in sight. Starfleet recruits may be stereotyped as brash, rebellious, and reckless; however, they are at least smart enough to know that they should partake in their ‘extracurricular’ activities without the Starfleet insignia slapped across their chest. You have to at least give them that. 

You didn’t think twice when your roommate brought up the idea of going out to grab a few drinks. You had just spent the last week cramming for your final examinations and had no time to do anything that vaguely resembled the idea of ‘fun’. It was basically ‘eat, study, sleep, repeat’ for a week straight. But now, you are done -- for a few weeks until another semester rolls around and you’re back to your normal routine. Nonetheless, all you want to do tonight is have a few drinks with your roommate, reminisce about your past shenanigans over the course of this semester, dance to a few songs that you most likely don’t know the name of, and happily collapse in your bed back at the Academy at an obscene hour. 

Your attention wanders to your phone which is currently lighting up on the counter. Your lips curve into a small smile as you read the caller ID that flashes across the screen: ‘Mom’. You lean in to your roommate in an attempt to make it easier for your voice to be heard over the various conversations being had and the music blaring from the bar’s overhead speakers. 

“I have to step out for a second. Are you okay on your own?”

You feel her nod before responding.

“You’re not my babysitter.”

You know that the comment is just a light-hearted jab. She raises both of her eyebrows at you, almost challenging you to respond. You simply stick your tongue out at the girl which makes her break into laughter. Your concern may make you come off as over protective; however, you can’t help it. You know your roommate well at this point -- very well. She’s had a few drinks which means she’s more bubbly than usual and she easily gets awestruck at any fresh recruit with ‘pretty eyes’. That’s how you’ve found yourself sleeping on the sofa in the common area of your dormitory on multiple occasions. You’d have no problem with her pursuit of these young men if they actually made her happy, however, a large percentage of the Starfleet recruits aren’t looking for anything too permanent which more times than not leaves her heartbroken. You are always there with junk food, packages of tissues, and a shoulder to cry on, but for once you’d like her to meet a boy that actually cares about her for longer than a week. 

The doors aren’t that far from your original spot at the bar; however, you have to bob and weave your way through the crowd. This makes your journey to the door much longer than you had first anticipated and you’re forced to answer the call while you’re still attempting to make your way outside.

“Hello?”

You raise your voice so that your mother can hear you. Your eyebrows furrow as you attempt to decipher the soft mumbling you can hear from the other end. Though most of what your mother says gets swept away in the surrounding ruckus, you’re able to just make out her last question:

“Where are you?”

“Hold on a second.”

You slide past the last patron who stood between you and the doors. Pushing forward, you are finally just outside of the bar. The cool night breeze feels like heaven against your skin. You weren’t aware of how warm it is inside until right now. Honestly, the thought of actually venturing on the decently long walk back to your room immediately crosses your mind, but two things are stopping you:

Your roommate is still inside enjoying herself and you know she’s not even close to being ready to head back to the Academy yet.

You’re wearing one of your favorite pairs of shoes that you don’t often get to wear because they aren’t exactly what you’d call comfortable and your feet are already beginning to hurt -- walking back would certainly be a death sentence.

You answer the phone again and tell your mother that you’re currently out celebrating. The two of you chat for a few minutes about how your exams went and what you planned on doing in between semesters -- she, once again, reminds you that you could come home and visit her during the break and you, once again, tell her that you’ll think about it. The conversation ends quickly and now you can fully enjoy the lack of noise. The thought of going back into the stuffy building almost makes you groan, but you don’t want to keep your roommate waiting alone for too long. 

You enter the bar once again and immediately roll your eyes at what you see: your roommate sipping on a new drink and flirting with some new, hotshot recruit. She’s giggling at something he’s said and he leans even closer to her. 

Yeah, you guys definitely aren’t going anywhere soon.

“Not your babysitter, my ass.”

You weave your way through the crowd once again and find a new place at the bar. It isn’t long before another body settles next to you. He props his arms up on the counter, allowing him to lean into the bar. You glance over at the man, taking in his appearance. He seems to be a few years older than you, but still young enough to be a recruit. His hair is messy -- not an unkempt kind of messy, but the type of messy that practically begs you to run your hands through it. Dark facial hair accompanies his jawline, matching his brown, almost black hair -- it’s not enough to be intrusive but it’s still very present, you’d even consider calling it tasteful. He stands a good half foot taller than you and he’s far from what you’d call scrawny. You aren’t dumb, he’s obviously handsome.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Although the man presents himself in a way that led you to assume that he’s from an urban background, there’s a slight twang to his voice. The way he dresses comes off as gruff city boy, but his voice tells a different story. It’s not thick enough for you to call it an accent, but you’d definitely characterize it as a southern ‘drawl’.

“Sorry cowboy, but the whole southern charm schtick doesn’t work on this lady.”

You expect him to simply walk away, possibly grumble for a second. Instead, you find yourself surprised when the man’s chest rumbles with laughter. You glance at him once again. Your breath gets trapped in your chest as your eyes meet his. This must be what your roommate has meant all those times she’s gushed to you about bright-eyed boys. You never quite understood her fascination, but you must admit that you can picture yourself gushing over his eyes in the backseat of the cab during the drive back.

“Let’s call it some southern hospitality then.”

He’s grinning at you and you can’t help but smile back. He’s charismatic and witty and that’s dangerous -- especially for you. 

“And let’s call it an apology for him.”

He points a finger toward the end of the bar as he continues speaking. Your eyes follow in that direction, landing on your roommate and the man she is still flirting with. You erupt in laughter as you now realize that this must be as normal for him as it is for you.

“As much as I’d like to accept your apology, I should probably apologize for her as well. I think both parties are at fault here.”

“Gotta love ‘em though, right?”

“Most days.”

He chuckles at your words and shifts his body so that his body is now facing yours, allowing his demeanor to become friendlier. You hate to admit it, but the man seems different. And you suppose that you wouldn’t entirely loathe having him around right now. So, you mimic his actions and shift your body to face his, your demeanor matching his.

He introduces himself as Leonard and you allow him to buy you that drink. 

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

anyone wanna hear the story of how i found out supernatural was ending and proceeded to have the worst morning of my life?

(super-excessive rambling ahead. do not read the whole of it.)

so i don't remember the date but it was the day of my english 10th board exam. boards are like a series of subject finals, kinda the biggest exams conducted in a student's education in india, plus they're nationalized. so yeah, a massively big deal, and obviously the first thing i do waking up on this massively important day is open tumblr. there are about seventy messages and i'm confused cause i think i barely "talked" to ten people back then, but before i've even checked them out, the first post i see is a textpost about how the longest running joke universally across fandoms is that 'spn has been going on way too long and needs to end' but now that it is ending, all people can do is cry about it. for some reason, i don't process that post as fact™, assuming they mean a general "ending" instead of a "j2m announced last season" ending. anyways i move on to my messages, and all of them are people who've freaking the fuck out for at least a few hours (the advantages of being in a timezone different from of most people) and i go to my activity, still stunned, and someone's tagged me in a meta of some kind, and i check it out completely dazed and it's got gifs (already!) of the three of them standing there with teary eyes and jensen actually saying the words everyone had been screaming about in the chats, and it finally hits me that it's ending, supernatural is ending, it's going to be OVER, and it's already been decided when. obviously, the tears start, and literally crying in my bed, still under the comforter, i think i watched the video twice, without headphones in fact, which is extremely weird because i virtually NEVER do that, but as if anything else mattered at the moment!

i don't remember what all i felt in those moments but one of the thoughts that REALLY stood out was that i wish, wish, wish it lasted just one more year — so maybe supernatural could end at the same time as highschool ended for me, and it'd feel like the end of a phase of my life, but no, according to what they predicted (and not even kidding, now it's even worse) supernatural was going to end smack in the middle of senior year for me, obviously a super important, super stressful year, and god, i wished so hard it'd just go on ONE MORE YEAR somehow but look what happened now it's ending like three months before my college entrance exams and the competitive engineering exams and shit which is just absolutely perfect because it's doing wonders to my attention span and mental health and yeah i'm getting off topic i'm gonna come back to the topic now

it's two am rn and i'm weirdly tired of typing so what happens next is fucking wild, but i'm gonna hurry because i need to go cry some more into a pillow or a ao3 tab or something. so like a whole HOUR later i get up from bed. i've got to get dressed and shit, most important exam of my life YET and everything. so i start brushing, obviously scrolling through tumblr, obviously failing to not cry, and my mum walks in, and she doesn't know a thing about supernatural (even if she did, she would consider the idea of me crying over them announcing an ending RIDICULOUS) so she just assumes i'm sniffling and tensed up because i'm STRESSED and she tries reassuring me like i need fucking reassurance for ENGLISH of all things. anyway anyway anyway i have maggi for breakfast i think and i'm still pretty out of it and stuff but i get dressed in my uniform and put on the fucking blazer though its HOT outside but i like wearing the school blazer for exams but i underestimated how much of a physically draining effect the news and reacting to it would have on me, so then there's me sweating literal buckets and then we set off.

we're already late in leaving the house (why, i don't remember) and once we're at the centre, and my parents have dropped me off and wished me luck, i go to the gate, right. and THEN the guard gestures to my uniform and tells me i'm missing my fucking class ID. now i know i'm late so i panic on cue because shit shit shit i'm gonna be even more late, and i legit turn and look for mum and dad (we weren't allowed to carry our mobiles for the test) and what i see is that they've reversed the car and are about to drive out the gate and obviously my brain isn't really working so i fucking RUN AFTER THE CAR, like, i'm really not an athletic person, i avoid running as much as i possibly can, and i fucking lose my shit and chase the car down in like ten seconds of running cause it's only like ten metres away actually but the highlight of it all is that i run. in a public space. unprompted. with a shitload of emotions and anxiety and panic, and i basically almost sob in relief when dad immediately stops the car and pretty much pulls me in and tells me to stop worrying cause the house is like ten minutes away and i might miss the general waiting part and stuff but i wasn't gonna miss the exam. so THEN we start driving back and obviously because they are who they fucking are, they start arguing about which of them is at fault for this and who was supposed to check in on me carrying my seriously important ID and other crap, and then obviously they're yelling and that does even more wonders for my state of practically hysteria, but i hold it together until we get home and i get the ID (which is on the bed, probably was under my blazer or something) and we set back off, and i know we're late, and i know supernatural is ending, and i know it's going to take a part of me really, and mum and dad just won't stop yelling at each other about god knows what, and i manage to squeeze in the first time in SO many years that i cry in front of my parents right there in the backseat, and they're sort of stunned because i really don't cry (in front of people) and then there's just me losing it in a mixture of helplessness and nerves and anger for some reason and just. whoa.

ANYWAYS we get to the centre (in time for the exam, but like fifteen minutes later than i SHOULD have gotten there) and dad talks to the teacher and stuff and it works out because obviously it's a really important exam they're not going to make me skip it, and i go straight to my classroom — also did i mention these exams aren't held in our own schools but like, different test centres, so basically a different room and desk each day in a different school from mine, ugh, i hate new places — and i find out i have the FIRST bench of the second column which lowkey sucks because it's too public really, but at least my best friend's sitting like diagonally from me on the left, and my friends are basically sprinkled around the classroom as well and i see them eyeing me worriedly cause they were scared i might miss the exam but also because i was a MESS with bloodshot eyes and an outofit look in them and did i mention i was sweating like a dog all this time wearing a blazer because i'm just that idiot because yeah.

so then i calm myself down the best i can. sitting under a fan helps, taking off my stupid blazer helps, and seeing dish (beforementioned best friend) helps — because apparently she heard about the ending too (she's not in the fandom she just keeps up with news for my sake, yes, im very lucky to have her) and tries to cheer me up about it, but then it's time for the paper, and they give them out and...yeah.

three hours later, the exam ends, and i step out of that hall the most mentally exhausted i've been in YEARS. also i swear off tumblr until i've had lunch and napped and stuff because i was also functioning on extremely little sleep but i really think that part was obvious.

as it goes, i ended up getting a 95% in that paper :)

but to this date, my sister jokes about how i ended up getting my personal least marks of that year in english of all subjects which was supposed to be of my strongest suit heh all because of a six-ish minute video released in a different part of the world about something that wasn't even going to happen that year...and like. yeah.

that's it.

that's the story.