#id let her prepare my funeral

[crimson-lair]

MBCC LOVEPOST

⟶ Oak Casket

You lay inside the casket, unable to move or speak as Oak Casket stares down at you. Her heterochromatic eyes seem to bore into your soul. She's been obsessed with death ever since she could remember, and now, she's found a partner who can provide her with the most interesting deaths.

As she looks down at you, you can make out the curves of her chest and stomach, as well as the outlines of her thighs underneath her thin black dress. She hasn't moved, hasn't uttered a word, but you can feel the pressure of her gaze. The air inside the casket is stifling, but somehow, you don't mind. The pleasure of being at the mercy of this beautiful, yet terrifying woman is almost suffocating, and you can't help but feel a surge of excitement coursing through your body.

.

.

.

Narrator: She reaches out a hand toward you, and the last thing you see before the darkness envelops you is the glittering green and violet of her eyes, watching you intently as the oxygen inside the casket runs out. The end.

Me: WOULD

Image/Original is a vid, by PathtoNowhereEN on Twitter/X

"Humiliation kink" - someone on twt once said.

This is all I could think of since the original post (pic) isn't as wild as Garofano's. Maybe the post about Langley/Zoya can match Garomama 🤭

I WOULD let Oak do whatever she wants. Would you?

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

julius caesar but i've never watched it

...either the play or the actual man. I am not a time-travelling voyeur. Why does that give Doctor Who vibes? I haven't watched that either.

Anyway, happy Ides of March, tumblr. I am about as enthusiastic about the celebration as Neil Gaiman is, but here we are. Doing what I do worst, making a summary of things I have no authority to summarise... WAHOO LET'S GO. Whatever it is I know about the play:

Caesar was vibing sometime around the '40s. 0040s, not 1940s.

He has a wife named Calpurnia. A maggot wants to be her because and I quote 'no one ever listens to me either'.

She tells him not to go to some kind of coronation or speech or something on the Ides. He's like nah wifey 'sall gucci.

I regret saying that sentence. As did Caesar, because he went and got stabbed in 44. Spoiler alert.

People ship Mark Antony with Caesar but some ship Brutus and Caesar. *youtuber voice* Comment below with your favourite ship.

Don't do it I don't want to know. Anyway, he's also married to Cleopatra, who is killed by snake venom that may not have been snake venom or something.

Idk they were cute. They had a kid that ran away and Asterix and Obelix had to take care of him. Caesarian?

WAIT IS A C-SECTION CALLED A CAESARIAN BECAUSE YOU CUT IT OPEN AND CAESAR WAS STABBED? WHAT?

There is a soothsayer. He tries to soothwarn Caesar.

Caesar does not soothlisten. Caesar is a lil bitch.

On the Ides of March, Caesar goes up to the soothsayer who is lurking on the steps of the maybe-coronation place. He soothsays The Ides of March are come!

The soothsayer soothsighs and soothsays Aye, Caesar, but not gone.

The senators, otherwise known as the soothslayers, have been plotting for a while. Brutus is a very dear friend of Caesar. He thinks Caesar slays.

But the other senators convince him this is what's best for Rome. So he thinks Caesar should be slayed.

So now the soothslayers at the maybe-coronation gather around Caesar and start stabbing him. Et tu, Brute? and all that (though I remember something about that phrase not meaning the same thing as it does in popular context...).

The soothslayers are a bit extra. Like bro. One stab to the heart would have soothsufficed.

Anyway, Caesar is soothslayed like the soothsayer soothsaid.

There is a funeral thing. The People of Rome are cranky.

A maggot once said Moots, maggots, countrymen! and it lives rent-free in my head.

Anyway what Mark Antony actually says is a whole ass speech. FRIENDS, ROMANS, COUNTRYMEN, LEND ME YOUR EARS. I COME TO BURY CAESAR, NOT TO PRAISE HIM! THE EVIL THAT MEN DO LIVES AFTER THEM, THE GOOD IS INTERR'D WITH THEIR BONES (I THINK I HAVEN'T HEARD THE SPEECH IN A WHILE OK) SO LET IT BE WITH CAESAR.

So he gives the soothspeech and everyone is emotional. IF YOU HAVE TEARS, PREPARE TO SHED THEM NOW. Damn bro. It's like playing villain music just as the camera focuses on the villain.

Anyway then there is a lot of chaos and blah blah blah Mark Antony does some stuff Caesar's adoptive son Octavian does some stuff.

There's some bloke named Augustus who may or may not be Octavian (if he was sorry for the deadname Auggy my bad).

Brutus is killed? Or he kills Mark Antony? One of them die.

They were totally not fighting over who was a better lover to Caesar.

Roman Republic gone byebye as I say to Roxie. Roman Empire starts. The end.

Er.

That was a thing. I rather like summarising my homeboy Shakespeare haven't read him in a while and I only read his comedies. Maybe I should do more in honour of the Globe Theatre Maggots.

Happy Ides. Please don't soothslay me. I've been a good Maggot Prince to you, haven't I?

*runs just in soothcase*

[ya-boi-haru]

You know what, you seem cool...

*dumps all of my Seduce Me Headcannons/theories*

~Contains Spoilers~

• The only reason the boys were back in the Chicago area to begin with was for Harold's funeral. They heard about it on the news and all went into shock.

• Getting their Human names went one of 4 ways: 1) They picked them themselves 2) Harold had the names on IDs ready to go, and let them pick a card - he just had to add the persons photo 3) Harold gave them the names persoanlly 4) Damien picked them all out beforehand while he was learning about the Human World

• The reason Sam didn't get to pick - or they didnt have time to do his choice - where they went on for trips was cause he kept losing at rock - paper - scissors (or coin tosses etc) so he never got to pick

• Since Sam and Damien can't read, if they were left on their own to order something they'd just point at something and hope it was good

• It took a bunch of Trial and error to learn that Matthew likes sweeter Coffee

• Damien Is Demisexual - or Graysexual, somewhere on that spectrum (im prepared to die on this hill)

• I could also see Erik being Demi

• Sam was super nervous to tell Carrie he was a Demon and was working himself up, but she already knew

• Damien can get overstimulated with sound sometimes due to his mind-reading. Even when he's human he can still get it from time to time in stressful situations.

• Damien would get frequent panic attacks and the others got really good at learning how to ground him and calm him down. When Mika gets stressed or panics about school or work stuff they use similar techniques.

• Sam does the most abbreviated texts (eg; c u 2nite) James uses proper grammar, Matthew uses Emojis and gifs, Erik knows all the flirty lingo, Damien also abbreviates but not as bad as Sam and he likes using the occasional Emoji😊☺️

• Matthew has fun ringtones while James uses default ones.

• Matthew has Sam saved as "Jackass" and Sam has Matthew saved as "Pipsqueak" (or something similar)

• Erik & Matthew are the type that get sick/pass out when their blood gets taken. Sam sometimes does too, but he will never admit it

• (In the Anderson mansion) James & Erik's rooms were neat and tidy - Erik would decorate. Damiens and Mattgews were stuffed with plushness- clean but not tidy. Sams is the messiest

• They let Matthew try an energy drink once... they never let him again.

• If nights were really bad, Damien would go stay with one of his brothers (mainly either Matthew or Sam since the older ones were always busy and they weren't allowed near) They would stay up with him and talk or try to think of other things to drown out the rest of it all. In the human world if he had a bad nightmare or anything, he'd still get up and go and talk to one of his brothers.

• (this one's based off an old video I made + I'll be using Sam for this one, cause Cannon route)

After the party the boys saw what Mikas dad was like and how tense Mika was during the event. So after the party Sam approached Mika to ask if she was okay. She thought he was talking about Malix for a moment but then he says that She was tense and acting not like herself during the party; that he knows a thing or two about a shitty dad and that he's here if she wants to talk.

• During the party the boys would give Mika small encouragements/ comfort throughout the night whenever they saw the opportunity. Matthew would come to her with extra snacks, or they would distract guests when she needed a break from questions.

• Micheala explained "Soul Marks" and I joked that they're a magic equivalent of a Hickey. So after Mika and [one of the brothers] did it - or they fed off her - they knewww and teased the brother about it.

• Erik wasn't prepared for Mika to flirt back

• The tags that Sam through away ultimately went into the Anderson Mansion. Mika found them (she was younger at this time) and gave them to Harold. They had demon magic energy on it, which Harold could sence. He dropped Mika off early to investigate it more

• One night, Sam and Mika hung out on the roof until the stars came out. Mika pointed out the constellations she knew

• James and Erik had to help the other 3 with their ties (+ the MC if they're played as male)

• Whenever the boys would pine for Mika, Damien had to sit and suffer in silence as he heard their nervous thoughts

• Since Mika was one of the boys first they probably did most of their 'exploring' with her.

• When the incubrothers learned they could never really tell her dad about what they were, they were a little upset - especially Sam. (Damien didn't have much of a problem with it since he wants to be human - and turns - anway)

• The Brothers quickly made Monopoly a forbidden game

• Damien adores his hair being played with and has fallen sleep because of it multiple times

•Matthew and Damiens hair gets frizzy/Curly in humid/rain weather

.

⚠️The next lot of headcannons are based on the more heavier topics of the game and involve Trigger Warnings such as abuse and assault, please proceed with caution:

• After James asked Mika how she got the bruise on her cheek and she brushed it off, no way he didn't know. James knew immediately and knew not to push further. Damien also knew - due to mind reading.

- Damien also dissociated a little after "seeing/hearing" what had happened to Mika.

• In the first flashback In the first game it notes that Damien hid behind Sam... I headcannon that Sam defended Damien from their father a lot. It would normally end in violence since Sam "defyed" his father. But he would also take blame for something that Damien did so he wouldn't get hurt getting in trouble. Sam would also beat up any imps that messed with him.

• Sometimes after being forced to mentally hear his mother and father, Damien go into sever panic attacks and didn't want to be touched and lashed out at imps that tried to 'control' him. These were the worst of them but the brothers knew how to handle it.

[childhoodgrave]

hi hiii i wanted to ask if you have any favorite books/articles/videos on mortuary science?? pls tell if you do...

hi!!!! im sure youve watched her before but caitlin daughty aka ask a mortician has a lot of informative videos on youtube in regards to commonly asked death care questions, which i think is a good starting point just for stuff youre curious about, but she focuses more on the funeral arts aspects and less on the science portion. theres not many youtube videos (that i know of) that go into more of the actual science behind it though.

the biggest resource i had book wise was my embalming textbook for school, which ik isnt a very good recommendation because i dont think its scanned anywhere online besides places that let you buy the pdf to print off yourself BUT its called embalming: history, theory, and practice by sharon l gee-mascarello (who ive met before!!) which for what its worth you Can buy it online, for upwards of $100 usually however. i still have mine though so im happy to take pictures of any relevant portions youre interested in reading if you want!

its been a while since i read it but this article is a pretty comprehensive piece detailing both the basic history of embalming and the chemicals used though specifically in regards to the preparation of cadavers, which does typically involve a slightly different method of embalming since the decedent will be used in an educational setting rather than, say, an open casket funeral. it’s very informative though.

if youre interested in more of the process side of things id recommend just lurking around various embalming / funeral directing forums and groups online where discussion about that sort of thing takes place. what you’ll find is that beyond the very basics (arterial injection, cavity embalming, etc) every embalmer has their own method they use that works with them, so no one has exactly the same process. it’s super interesting!

[thatwasntlikeridingabikeuasshole]

my obsession with Aspects of Love is actually so out of hand and literally nobody knows, likes, or cares about this musical. but its MY tumblr blog and I get to choose the posts i make so heres a list of my favorite moments in aspects of love anyway

"rose it's not the views or the vines that keep me here" just. musically

and then "when the world was a playground all train rides and laughter and love in the morning and armagnac after"

"tell me are you still shooting women" "do you dance with women of your own age?" fuck him UP GIULIETTA

actually the entirety of hand me the wine and the dice

actually everything giulietta has done ever in her life

"and now i claim my best man's rIGHT!!!"

the journey of a lifetime melody playing right before seeing is believing

every repetition of the love changes everything melody, but specifically the one at the end of other pleasures

rose showing up at giulietta's studios in venice ready to steal back her man and then being like "oh wait giulietta's amazing and im a little bit gay" in the book she outright says to george "well i think im in love with your friend" and hes like "cool"

the first man you remember. the entire thing. the very fIIIIIIIIRST

"just promise one thing" "alright what is it" "dont ask me questions you must promise first" "i cant i dont know what it is" "dONT LEEEEEEEEEAVE MEEEEEEEEEE"

and then he fuckin wALKS AWAY

god bless, i love anything but lonely and its like the only scene that you can find shitty videos of on youtube

"ya girlfriends gonna love that donkey"

"(youll be her hero)"

"and my story is oLDER than the stars"

the buildup at the beginning of journey of a lifetime

marcel being a supportive bestie

and specifically rose shooing away hugo after the funeral and then marcel showing up and her letting him stay. i think hes one of the only people she actually cares about she just doesnt know it

"come on show me a smile" ough

the absolutely unhinged yelling before alex shoots rose. "if i cant have you NO ONE WILL killing you would be a PLEASURE" "PULL THE TRIGGER SEE IF I CARE" "you never loved me you never meant it AND NOW YOU HATE ME" "GO ON SOLDIER BE A HERO"

"rose id never harm the girl" "you were once prepared to do a lot of harm to me" TELL HIM ROSE

jenny pulling out the "pas de tendresse et pas de joie loin d'ici loin de toi" at alex and hes like ???????????????

"youre a delinquent a silly schoolboy with a GUN"

shed be far better of with you makes me giggle "you don't cheat at croquet"

when i read the book my heart just jumped whenever there was an exactly quoted line or nearly exactly quoted. the first one i found was "if i'm not very nice to you it's because i have things to worry me but thanks for the flowers every night" and nearly giuliettas whole speech at the beginning of hand me the wine and the dice is a direct quote

also a memory of a happy moment is a rough translation of a french phrase they keep repeating in the book at roughly the same moments that that melody/phrase repeats in the musical. its "un souvenir leger pour toi" "a sweet memory for you"

"my darling george i love you how dramatic can you be"

this is entirely a book thing and not a musical thing. but. in the book. rose speaks very little english and while all the dialogue is written in english, its noted that usually it's actually being spoken in french. which makes sense bc yknow....shes french............but anyway during either the scene at the cafe where she meets alex or possibly on the train, it's noted during one of the sentences she says to alex that he blushed because iT WAS THE FIRST TIME SHED USED TU INSTEAD OF VOUS FOR HIM and i was like. sobbing. french grammar romance. thats so cringe i love it. "oooo im gonna flirt with you by using the informal you"

just the fact that the scene when alex comes back to see rose in her super successful show completely mirrors the start of the musical when he first meets her. "hugo be a dear and get our guest an armagnac" "are you sure you want me to accept? very well then i ACCEPT" "i must have been the only one who didnt throw you roses"

in the book the house at pau is called "les pervenches" and pervenches are periwinkle flowers!!!!

listen like. the scene where they move george to sit by the fire so they can lie to jenny about how he died is like somber and ominous in the musical, with the music matching that vibe, but in the book it just ends up (possibly accidentally) being kind of funny bc rose, alex, and hugo drag his body into their room and then are like "fuck what do we tell jenny"

"one cup of fresh coffee buys two kisses"

giulietta and george's friendship honestly

the fact that giulietta is the one person who is reasonable and not bitter about things. the fact that when george is like "me n rose are over its me n you now" shes like "lmao no its not ur in love with rose and thats cool"

and i love that she was the best man at their wedding. i think marcel was rose's maid of honor. i think marcel and giulietta would get along they have their heads screwed on right

and then i love that he had her speak at his funeral. and he was right about it. george was like "i want my funeral to be a Ragin Good Time" and giulietta was the only person who understood this assignment

right this post is so long and its gonna be over now but the point is. i love this musical and if anyone else likes it at all please talk to me lol

[thetravelerwrites]

Ravadhi (Part 9)

Rating: Mature Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationship: Female Human x Male Half-Orc Additional Tags: Exophilia, Half-Orc, Monster Boyfriend, Interspecies Romance,Angst, Slow Burn Content Warning: Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Alcoholism, Drug Abuse Words: 4148

Holly finds out what her mother left for her in the deposit boxes. Afterward, she and Ravadhi settle into a comfortable routine until it's suddenly shattered. Please reblog and leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

Holly arrived at the bank only ten minutes after leaving, which was not at all enough time to mentally prepare her for what she was about to find in the deposit boxes, left for her by her dead mother.

She waited in the line anxiously, her fist clenched around the keys that Tonri had given her and her chest tight.

“I can help the next guest,” The teller called. Holly knew him distantly from school, he was a Ratfolk man name was Auro. The two of them hadn’t been friends or really even spoke to each other, but like everyone at school, he knew who she and her dad was, and speculated along with everyone else. Despite that, he hadn’t ever bullied her or ignored her existence out of guilt.

“Hello, what can I help you with today?” He asked as she approached

“Hi, I inherited the keys to safety deposit boxes--” She checked the paperwork she’d received from Tonri. “F152, F153, F154, and F155.”

“Okay, I’ll just need the keys, a photo ID, the death certificate of the decedent, and inheritance letter?”

“Uh, yes, right here.”

She handed the documents to Auro, who took them and scanned them briefly, stopping on the name and glancing up uncomfortably. It was a well known fact that Holly’s mother had disappeared when she was young, but she guessed the news that she was dead hadn’t made the gossip rounds yet.

Auro cleared his throat. “Of course, right this way.” He left his desk and led Holly to a private room. “Wait here a moment and the boxes will be brought to you,” He said.

“Okay, thanks.”

She waited tensely for about five minutes. Then, Auro returned with the four boxes, setting them on the table in front of Holly. He also left a large bank bag on the table.

“Would you like privacy?” Auro asked.

“Yes, please,” Holly replied in a small voice.

He nodded and smile sympathetically, then left and closed the door.

Feeling tears prick her eyes, she sat in front of the four boxes, steeling herself to look inside. She picked the one on the right and pulled it toward her. With shaking hands, she turned the key and slowly opened the lid.

The first thing she saw were the pictures. Hundred of them. Pictures of her, of Holly as a baby, of the two of them smiling and happy and together.

Holly cried softly. She thought all the pictures had been destroyed. She spend a long time looking at the photographs of her and her mother. As she shuffled through them, and envelope fell out from the pile. She picked it up and examined it, and on the front, in her mother’s handwriting, was the word, “Holly.”

Sniffling and attempting to stem the flow of her tears, she carefully slit open the envelope and took out the contents. It was a letter. It was dated seven months before Holly’s mother disappeared.

            My baby girl,           I’m so, so sorry.        If you’re reading this, it means that son of a bitch actually killed me and my attempt to escape with you has failed. I’m sorry. I tried. I tried so hard, but he was always one step ahead of me, no matter what I did.        You once asked me, when you were very little, why I was with your father if he made me so sad. I couldn’t answer you then, because you were too young to understand. I was hoping to tell you this story in person one day when we were free of him, but it looks like that day will never come.       Abusive relationships never start out that way, you know. Your father started out sweet and kind and affectionate, and I was fooled. By God, was I fooled. He spent the first year of our relationship waiting on me hand and foot, doing anything I asked, lavishing me with gifts and attention. I was so struck by his attentiveness and loving nature that I fell for him very quickly. Looking back, I realize it was too quickly. I didn’t realize that his attention was manipulation, or that a pattern of dependence was beginning to develop.       The change was so slow that I didn’t even see it. It started with comments, off-handed observations. “Your mom was kind of rude to me today and your brother doesn’t like me. We shouldn’t go over there as much. Your friends talk about you behind your back. You should dump them and get better friends.” He began to drive a wedge between me and all of my relationships, until he was the only one left. He’d convinced me that my family hated me, that my friends were jealous of me. I started cutting ties with people who I loved dearly, and when no one was left, all I had was him. Which is exactly what he wanted.       Then there were sudden negative criticisms about my appearance or how I cooked or cleaned. I was gaining too much weight and wasn’t as pretty as I had been when we first started dating. I was spending too much time at school or work and not enough time with him. He began questioning where I went, how much money I spent, who I was with, why I was out so long. Whenever I protested, he simply said he was worried about me and that he didn’t want anything bad to happen to me, that I was careless, even reckless sometimes, and that I could get myself in trouble. I started questioning myself and actively avoiding things that would upset him. I thought he got angry with me was because he loved me. I didn’t realize he was trying to control me.       Before we got married, he had been pressuring me to leave school, saying that it was too expensive and he couldn’t afford it. I told him I could apply for grants and scholarships, but he wouldn’t hear a word of it. His temper was getting shorter and shorter by the day, and before I knew it, it seemed like he was always angry. He started drinking not long after we were engaged. But I loved him, and I figured it was just stress because of money. It was easy to dismiss the emotional and psychological abuse as stress or concern, but now I know it was never any of those things.       The physical abuse started shortly after we got married. By then, I wasn’t speaking to my family or friends anymore and we had moved to Willowridge for his work, so I was completely isolated. We had another argument about school, and it was the first time he laid a hand on me. He slapped me so hard that he knocked me to the floor, and I was shocked. Looking back now, it’s almost comically obvious that the relationship was heading in that direction, but at the time, I was terrified and so very confused. I was a smart person; smart people didn’t get into abusive relationships, it wasn’t possible. And now that I had alienated all of the people who could have helped me, I felt powerless.       My mother died, and I wanted to go to her funeral and patch things up with my family, but your father convinced me that my family didn’t want me there. They hadn’t called me, after all. There had been no invitation to attend. So I didn’t go. Then my father died, and shortly afterward, my brother took his own life. Suddenly, I was without family and it was now too late to reconnect with them. I dropped out of college due to a mental breakdown, which was what your father wanted. It was then that the abuse became extreme.       He would beat me for any small thing. I had no money, no friends, no resources, and I was now living in a town of which I wasn’t familiar. I felt trapped, but I also felt like it was my fault for falling for it, so perhaps it was what I deserved. I developed an eating disorder, lost a lot of weight, stopped leaving the house, and fell into a deep depression. I always felt anxious and sick. I didn’t even realize I was pregnant with you until I went into labor.       You were a month early, and so tiny. I hadn’t been to the doctor since before our wedding and the eating disorder made my period stop for months at a time, so I had no reason to believe I could have been pregnant.       When you were born, everything changed. I may not have been able to get out for myself, but for you, I would move mountains. I made a deal with your father; you know what it was. He wouldn’t let me work, so I had to scrounge and save any way I could. I was the weirdo who took all the coins from the “take a penny, leave a penny” tray. I dived into wishing fountains and scooped up handfuls of quarters. I’d lie to your father and say I lost the receipt when I went to buy groceries and couldn’t remember what the total was. It always earned me a beating, but it was worth it if I could manage to squirrel away even five dollars. I even sold my wedding and engagement rings. I expected to tell him I had lost them and get a beating, but he never asked about them. Someone who controlled every aspect of my life for years didn’t care that the proof of our marriage was missing. Fitting, I suppose.       I’m not sure how much I’ve managed to save; I’ve never had the chance to count it. I’ve also put away all of my jewelry, collectables, and any small thing I thought might be valuable sentimental or otherwise. I hope beyond hope that you’re free from him as you read this, but if you’re not, I hope I’ve saved enough to give you a chance to get away and live a better life. If there’s only enough for you to buy a bus ticket and get out of this godforsaken town, it’ll have been worth it.       I love you, Holly. I love you so much. If any good thing came out of that miserable bastard, it was you. You were a surprise, but once I saw your little face and your tiny hands gripped my finger, I’d have done anything to keep you safe. I’m sorry I fell short. If you hate me, I understand. But please, never doubt that I loved you. I only wish I could have been a better mother and protected you, and I hope you’re not too disappointed in me.          Forgive me. Forgive me.                    Mommy

There were tear stains on the paper, old ones from when it was written, and new ones as Holly read it. Holly held the letter to her chest and wept bitterly.

“I don’t hate you,” Holly sobbed. “I don’t.”

It took several minutes to compose herself. When she’d sniffled to a stop, she turned her attention to the other boxes. In the first, she found jewelry, coins, stock certificates, and the proof of purchase on the house. In the second, there were trinkets she’d saved from Holly’s childhood, like her footprint, her hospital bracelet, and the blanket in which she’d been wrapped in. In the third was a single item: a bank account card.

Holly took all of the items in the boxes and stepped out of the room, walking back up to the teller’s desk.

“There was this account card in the box,” She told Auro. “Do I have access to this?”

“Yes,” Auro said. “Your name is on the account.”

“Oh,” Holly said, surprised. “Can I check the balance?”

“Of course,” Auro said, entering the number into the computer. His hands stilled and he stared at the screen.

“Well?”

“Right,” He said, clearing his throat. “At present, you have $53,640.35 available in your account.”

“Fifty-three…” Holly trailed off. “That’s… mine?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Auro said. “You can use it whenever you like. I can give you a checkbook before you leave, and have a debit card mailed to you within the week.”

“Yes, please,” She replied faintly.

She rode home in a numb fog. When she arrived, Ravadhi and Sarah were sitting on the front porch as if waiting.

“Are you okay?” Ravadhi asked, immediately pulling her into a hug. You accepted it gladly. As soon as he wrapped her up in his arms, she started sobbing again, unable to stop, and started to collapse, her legs crumpling underneath her.

“Hey, it’s okay,” He said softly, moving to sit her down on the porch. Sarah sat on your other side and rubbed her arm.

“What happened?” Sarah asked.

“She left me some things,” Holly managed to gulp out, pulling some of the things from her bag to show Sarah

“Are these you when you were little?” Sarah said. “I’ve never seen pictures of you as a kid.”

“Dad got rid of them all,” Holly replied, shuffling through them to show her. “Or, I thought he had. Mom managed to save some.”

“You were really small,” Sarah said wonderingly. “Even smaller than me.”

“Mom said I was a month premature. I didn’t know that before,” Holly whispered.

“You’re mom said?” Ravadhi asked.

“Oh, she wrote me a letter,” Holly replied, pulling it from her pocket. She began to read the letter out loud to Sarah and Ravadhi. As private and emotionally charged as the letter was, Ravadhi and Sarah were the only two people in the world who Holly felt she could share it with, and because she could, she did. Not only that, she knew they would understand it in a way that no one else would.

“Do you hate her, like she said?” Sarah asked.

“No,” Holly told Sarah. “No, I couldn’t hate her if I wanted to. I wish she had been your mom, Sarah, she was such a good mom. The best.”

“Dad tricked her,” Sarah said, looking up at Holly sympathetically.

Holly nodded. “Yeah.”

“He didn’t trick my mom,” Sarah said bitterly. “All he had to do was pay for her drugs and vodka.”

“I’m sorry, Sarah,” Holly said. Sarah shrugged.

“So you own our house?” Sarah asked, changing the subject. “Are you going to kick mom out?”

“No,” Holly said. “It doesn’t matter what my feelings are for your mom, I will always make sure you have a home to go to, no matter what. But I think it’s best if she doesn’t know I own it, so maybe keep it under your hat.”

Sarah nodded knowingly.

Holly sighed heavily, wiped her face, and stood up abruptly. “Well, I am absolutely starving. Do you guys want breakfast?”

That night, Holly lay in bed, unable to quiet her mind. She had decided to keep the news about the money to herself until she knew what she wanted to do with it. There were a million possibilities bouncing around in her head, and she couldn’t pin one down. She could fix up the house for Sarah, put it away for Sarah’s college, put a down-payment on her own house, go back to school, anything. But deep down, Holly was worried.

Ravadhi had said at the beginning that she was to stay with him until she got back on her feet, but now they were dating. Would he want her to to find her own place since, she had the money to do it? She liked living with Ravadhi. It was the healthiest environment she’d ever lived in and she didn’t want to have to start all over again on her own. Was that co-dependent? Maybe, but healthy co-dependence was better than depressed, anxious solitude, as far as she was concerned. She didn’t want to leave, and she didn’t think he would just kick her out. But, as her mother’s letter had taught her, you could never be truly certain of a person’s motives or intentions. Ravadhi had been nothing but kind and caring toward her, but… people can change.

What if she could get custody of Sarah? That would be amazing. If she could prove Diane was an unfit mother, would they even let Holly get custody? She knew that they wouldn’t let Sarah live with a convicted felon, though, so if she could get custody, the matter of continuing to live with Ravadhi in his house would decide itself. As much as she cared for Ravadhi, Sarah was her first priority.

What if she lost the custody case and they put Sarah in some kind of group home? Ravadhi’s tale of being in a group terrified her and she’d never subject Sarah to it. Was it best to leave her in a neglectful environment where at least Holly knew she could take care of herself and be safe? Or try for custody and run the risk of losing her in the system?

Maybe she could ask Sarah. She had a good head on her shoulders and could make good decisions for herself. A lifetime of neglect from her own parents as well as having to take care of her beaten and bloodied sister on a regular basis had aged her prematurely, so she was used to it. Unfortunately.

There had been another thing that had been weighing heavily on her lately as well, even before learning about her inheritance: she and Ravadhi had been officially dating for about a month, but they had both cared about each other longer than that. Would… he be expecting sex? Even if he did, she didn’t think he would be the type to pressure her into it, especially given his history.

Eventually, she fell asleep, wondering if she should ask him about it. A few days later, when they were alone with each other and just sitting down to dinner, she broached the topic.

“Ravadhi?” She piped up shyly. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, anything,” He said, picking up his fork and getting ready to tuck in to his pork stirfry and rice.

“Do… do you want to have sex with me?” She asked.

He immediately began to choke on the first bite of his food, and Holly rushed to get him some water in alarm.

When he was able to speak again, he asked, “Before I answer, is that an inquiry or a request?”

“An inquiry,” She replied.

“Okay,” He said, taking a deep breath and bracing his hands on the table. “Okay.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Holly said, wincing.

“No, no, it’s okay,” He replied, clearing his throat and taking another sip of water. “I’m glad you feel comfortable enough with me to ask. That’s really important to me, that you feel safe and comfortable.” He knitted his fingers and took a second before answering, pondering the question over in his head.

“The short answer is: yes, I do, because I care about you in both a emotional and a physical way, and part of that is wanting to be intimate and sexual. The long answer is: yes, I do, but.”

“But?”

“Yes, I do, but… I know that it scares you and that you’re not ready. Yes, but I never want to do anything to hurt you or make you feel unsafe. Yes, but I’m willing to wait as long as it takes until you feel the time is right, even if that never comes. I’m here for you because I love you, not because I want to have sex with you. Your happiness and well-being is more important to me than that.”

Holly blinked and her mouth fell open. She stared at Ravadhi in silent shock.

His brow furrowed. “What?”

“You said you loved me.”

His cheeks darkened. “Oh. I… well… yeah. I do. Love you, I mean. It’s okay if you don’t or don’t want to say it.”

Holly’s heart raced and she felt confused. “Give me some time?”

He nodded. “Yeah, absolutely.”

She nodded in return, relieved. “Thanks. And… I appreciate you being cool with everything. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but it means a lot to me.”

He smiled fondly at her and continued eating.

The school semester came to an end, and Ravadhi passed all his exams, despite working two jobs and having taken Holly in during the month when he needed to study the most. Now that school was over for the summer, he took some more time to work on the house, which he hadn’t been able to do for a long time. Holly was happy to help him, and it became a new bonding activity for them both. Sarah slept over often since it was summer break, and the three of them were happy.

It was becoming easier for her to be physically affectionate with him, holding his hand and giving him hugs and kisses more casually, which was a huge step for her. He never brought up sex or being more intimate, and Holly appreciated it.

Ravadhi still had the plumbing and overnight security job, but now that school was out, he was able to take more shifts. Holly would stay up and text him until at least his lunch break at eleven P.M. to help him stay awake.

On a warm Thursday evening as the sun was going down, Holly sat on the back porch overlooking the closed-in backyard and watched some videos on her phone while texting Ravadhi back and forth. He was bored, like he always was during his shifts at the power plant. He worked alone at the front lobby and watched the cameras, which Holly was sure was nothing short of riveting. At least he was allowed to listen to music.

>What have you got playing? She asked.

>Sevendust. It’s my go-to band. Very effective at keeping me awake.

>I bet. Do you listen to any female fronted metal bands? I think you’d really like Epica and Otep. Epica has got a great opera vibe. Oh, and Sister Sin is a really good hard rock band. Great vocalist.

>I haven’t heard those bands. They sound awesome.

>I’ll make you a playlist.

>Nice. What are you up to?

>Enjoying the nice evening. I was going to clean up the kitchen before I went to bed, but I was tired. I’ll do it tomorrow after work.

>Going on rounds. I’ll text you back in a minute.

Holly switched back over to watching true crime videos on YouTube. She blinked, and when she opened her eyes, suddenly the sun was completely down. She looked at her phone and realize she must have fallen asleep: two hours had gone by. She went over to messages and texted Ravadhi. He hadn’t texted back yet, which was weird.

>Sorry, I fell asleep. Find anything?

Holly decided to go inside and actually clean the kitchen. By the time she was done, Ravadhi still hadn’t texted back.

>Everything okay?

Ten minutes passed and there was no response. Holly began to feel uneasy. With a pit in her stomach, she dialed the power plant’s main line. Ravadhi had to answer that phone, it was part of his job. The phone rang and rang and rang. Ravadhi never picked up.

Holly’s breath stalled in her chest with panic and she called the sheriff’s department.

“Sheriff’s department,” Holly heard.

“Hi, um, look, my boyfriend is at work and he’s not answering the phone, which is part of his job, and I’m worried something may have happened to him,” Holly said in a rush.

“I’m sure he’s fine, ma’am,” The deputy said dismissively. “He’s probably in the bathroom or something. I’m not sure this warrants a welfare visit.”

“I’m telling you, something is wrong,” Holly insisted. “I haven’t heard from him in hours. That’s not something that happens.”

“You’re probably overreacting,” He said. “Just calm down--”

“Who am I speaking to?” Holly asked, getting angry.

“Deputy Reynolds.”

“Well, Deputy Reynolds, my name is Holly Stevenson. Do you know that name?”

There was a few seconds of silence on the other end. “Yes, ma’am, I know who you are.”

“Then you know you owe me. You owe me.”

The deputy didn’t respond.

“The least, the very least, you can do is make sure the person who saved my life is okay. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, ma’am,” The deputy replied. “I’ll send an officer right away.”

“You do that,” Holly said. “And I expect a call when you get there.”

“Yes, ma’am,” The deputy said.

Holly hung up the phone and waited anxiously, biting her nails and pacing. A full thirty tense minutes later, she saw red and blue lights outside. She rushed to the door and threw it open. The sheriff himself stepped out of the car.

“What happened?” Holly asked.

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi, becoming a Patron, or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[madlilsongbird]

Watching The Amazing Spidernan movies so that I’m all caught up before No Way Home. Will add my thoughts as I have them. Note I am not some big Spider-Man fan nor have I read the comics so if my thoughts sound kinda stupid they probably are.

First movie:

That’s a good trick with the broom. Making a mental note as we speak.

Actually seeing Peter say goodbye to his parents is horrible and I would like to never experience it again

SALLY FIELD IS AUNT MAY?! Why does this one have the good cast? (not good as in better but good as in more well known)

The sexual tension in “good morning flash…good morning Peter” (this is a joke I’m not shipping him with his bully)

Jesus roid rage much?

Shut your blinds! I don’t know who would be looking in your window at this exact moment but close them anyway!

First careful, you never know who is watching what you search (when did I become this person)

Second…curt connors is ableist.

Poor Rodrigo Guevara

Oh internalised ableism. And that is the only comment I will make going forward because my disabilities do not include limb difference and I dont want to overstep.

Stop following the man, you are not subtle…wait wtf how’d he do that?!

This is where he gets his powers right?

Okay but when would 5 men make that much of a fuss over a woman that only 1 of them seems to know?

Same. (This is in reference to smashing the alarm clock)

Oh my god is it really necessary to show all the different kinds of spider bites.

Actually just going back to the internalised ableism thing…he is allowed to feel whatever type of way about his own disability that is his right. But insinuating that all disabled people are weak and wanting to breed out the weakness is eugenics and just kinda gross. THIS is the final comment I will make on the matter.

No but seriously he is way more aggressive than regular teen boy aggressive so either he’s on something or he’s overcompensating for something

The way he looks at him doe (again all jokes am not shipping flash and Peter)

Why is this so awkward? And not like teens navigating a crush awkward just genuinely awkward. I feel no chemistry between them.

I like the song, it’s an interesting choice for this scene but I like it.

Stop does uncle Ben die now? Like I know uncle Ben dies at some point but I was really kinda hoping he just wouldn’t in this iteration. I was going for a ninth doctor moment “just this once everybody lives”

MOTHERFUCKER

God Sally is incredible

Don’t show me moments of Flash being human I might accidentally start shipping them for real and that simply can’t happen.

Oooh he’s a fashion designer

I just really enjoy how he takes the piss out of his victims? Arrests?

Is Gwen aware that the school nurse can’t cure everything? Both legally and just like generally doesn’t have the knowledge to cure everything. She suggests going to the nurse a lot.

This family gives me bad vibes

This is a long movie…it’s not even half way through

Well that’s one way to tell her

NOT GEORGE FOYET!

I think with what I remember of SpiderTobey and what I know of SpiderTom, Andrews Spider-Man is definitely better with the people he’s rescuing. Smoother, good bedside manner.

His sons name is Jack. Why does that make me angry?

So he’s just not gonna rescue the other people hanging off the bridge?

It’s almost poetic that the son of the man tried to stop him the first time will be the one to stop him now

Now how is he getting enough power in the sewer

No means no Peter

Does she die in this one or the next one? I don’t imagine her dying will help captain stacey see him as a good guy

Stan 🥺

This movie is exhausting and I don’t know if I mean that in a good way or a bad way.

MoThEr HuBbArD aRe YoU sErIoUs

He managed to get three whole words out and you didn’t think to ease up on the trigger a little to hear what those words might be?

She’s very clever and I will be sad to see her go

That wasn’t her scream. Or it was but from a different take.

Foyet about to be coming in clutch

I’m going to cry.

He’s so ugly. Some lizards are really cute but lizard + human, kinda gross looking.

Well shit. I didn’t know that happened. I guess what I said about him being upset with Peter about Gwen is irrelevant. Unless it isn’t, like if you believe in the afterlife, imagine how pissed he’s gonna be when Gwen arrives.

He finally got the eggs 🥺

As someone who’s boyfriend at the time didn’t go to her fathers funeral I feel ya Gwen. I mean I don’t care now but at the time it sucked.

Dr Connors was just in a silly goofy mood. He seems to show genuine care for the boy (this is mostly sarcasm).

Second movie

Oh we’re going back to peters dad.

How do they have access to a private jet?

Miss Honey is badass

Ngl I’m actually quite relieved they both died before the plane crashed. Stil devastating though.

Okay so this is first up on the list of potential mystery villains in No Way Home…he looks like a tool.

HeLLo PeDeStRiAnS

He really just let Spider-Man put his hand on his tongue. Sir do you know where his hand has been? Not to mention just in general the feeling of spandex on your tongue. I feel ill.

No respect for the proper care of plutonium.

Please don’t ever say “come to daddy” again 😂

I’m kinda sad Jamie Fox becomes a villain, his character seems kinda sweet so far from the 2 seconds I’ve seen of him

You mean to tell me he missed his girlfriend’s fathers funeral AND her valedictorian speech?!

Stan x2 🥺

Because you can’t lose me you’re going to lose me? 😂

I love her jacket

Why are they still pretending like she doesn’t know?

I may have spoken to soon about Max

See I would be speeding up daddy’s death if he told me he’d passed down a genetic disease and just decided not to tell me.

Friendship.

Okay max is still a little bit nutty but you gotta feel bad for the guy. He must’ve been so scared.

Don’t smile that’s not cute, if he was a regular boy you’d file a restraining order.

Oh I see Spider-Man is gonna fight him which will make him turn and become the “bad guy” whether he will actually be a bad guy is still unknown.

This scene is actually kinda just making me angry (the time square scene)

Cops suck man. Peter was talking him down just fine.

Did nobody teach these people not to touch metal when there’s electricity about.

Interesting that I didn’t pick up any chemistry from them in the first movie weren’t they an actual couple for a while?

Another good song with an interesting placement

I’m sorry did the caller ID not say Mary Parker? How was it Harry on the phone?

Run Gwen!

This version of Harry is kinda creepy I’m sure the actor is swell but the character is terrifying. Original version Harry was swell whereas the actor is…

“Maybe everyone has a part of themselves they hide” gives him the eye

This movies shorter or at least it feels shorter

An excellent show of what happens when you tell a rich daddy’s boy no for the first time.

This makes me very sad. She’s so excited for the possibility of Oxford.

As much as Harry disturbs me, I want him to burn his entire team.

His daddy really did love him!

I think it’s mostly his eyes, his behaviour can be explained by trauma (why I find Harry creepy)

Okay most of his behaviour. The taking joy in killing people that’s just him being nutty and not a trauma response.

This is fucked up. And where is Peter? he is off chasing a girl who has broken up with him twice now.

PLANES NEED THE POWER!

I really like SpiderAndrew, the movies are fine but as a character I thoroughly enjoy him

Sorcerers apprentice who?

Captain Stacy can’t blame him! She’s clearly stubborn as hell and her own free woman

I quite literally stopped breathing (in reference to the almost plane crash)

Is this why they made it Gwen and not MJ so that he could kill her and be an actual bad guy? From my little knowledge of the comics and what I’ve seen from the movies Harry would never hurt MJ so it had to be someone else important to Peter but not super important to him for him to a real bad guy

I like that Harry actually looks like a goblin.

What was the disease he’s supposed to have?

This poor family. I know I said they gave me bad vibes in the first movie but nobody deserves this.

He looks less like a tool with his suit on…but only slightly less

Baby you better get back behind that baracade!

Nobody talk to me I’m very emotional. This child looks very much like a magical mix of all 3 of my brothers put together and seeing him stand there so brave but so scared is doing something to me.

Final thoughts:

So I think SpiderAndrew might be a close second favourite for me. I like the relationships of the original the most, the comedy of the mcu version the most but this one was like a nice in between. Im a little disappointed there won’t be a third not cos I think I would have enjoyed it just cos the original had 3 movies, the mcu version will have at least 3 movies and this one is left out with 2. Don’t think I would have loved Shailene Woodley as MJ though so I dunno. I think the only thing I would have wanted from a third movie is to know who fedora guy is…and for Peter and May to acknowledge that they both know that he is Spider-Man. Apart from that it was fine and I now feel fully prepared for No Way Home.

[no-worshiped-roads]

Though id take a crack at a short piece for @wisteriarotting and their horror au

Prepare yourself for the angst

So i know you said besides zuke and kliff, gigi would likely be the only other survivor

i kind of wanna include aunty and kayane

Anyway this is set after they’ve beaten all the artists and are getting ready to leave

Zuke walked out the front doors of NSR tower, the dull light in the city briefly stinging his eyes. The sun hasn’t shone in the city in a long time, but it was still brighter outside than it was in the darkness of NSR tower. His body was battered, exhausted, and sore beyond belief. But it was over. All they had to do was run for the main gates, finally leave this cursed city behind.

With everything and everyone they’ve lost, it would be a blessing. His companions trailed behind him, though Zuke only listened and didn’t turn around, no his focus was on the pathway that would lead them out. West flashed across his mind and he winced, wiping at his eyes. He was grateful that he had been able to reconcile with his brother, but it still ripped his heart apart that the very next thing had to be a final goodbye.

Zuke remembered how Yinu’s mother had been burying all the artists, giving them a funeral as best she could. She had known them all to some extent before the infection... yeah. She had even been kind enough to give his brother one, and would probably come collect Tatiana’s body soon. Zuke had been so grateful for her doing that for West.

He was also grateful to Mayday for being the one to put West down. He’d never would have been able to do it, but he didn’t to leave him suffering in a body that was no longer his either. He glanced behind him to see his companions. Kliff was right behind him, followed by Aunty who was helping Kayane and Gigi not fall behind. But then there was May, who was definitely trailing behind.

At first Zuke thought maybe she was just tired, after all she was as beaten as him. But he noticed it was like she was walking slow purposely. Her head was downcast, and she was gripping her arms in way that tucked her hands mostly out of sight.

“May? You good?”

Upon Zuke calling her name the others stopped to look at Mayday who had paused as well. Her body was trembling and she was breathing hard. Mayday still didn’t look up, but shook her head ‘no.’ Aunty took a step towards her and she quickly, clumsily, stepped back. Away from them.

“I’m sorry.”

It was said so suddenly and quietly that it didn’t really register to Zuke what she had said at first.

Kliff suddenly spoke next to him “What do you-”

Before he could even finish that sentence, Mayday suddenly stiffened like she was in pain.

And then she ran.

“Wh- MAY?!”

Kayane’s surprised shout snapped Zuke out of his stupor, and he ran after Mayday. Despite something being wrong, the girl was still able to run full speed. He could hear footsteps behind him as the group tried to keep up. Mayday dodged and weaved around trashcans and broken pieces of buildings and other structures in her way. Eventually she ducked down an alleyway, and Zuke found himself having trouble keeping up with her.

He hit down the alley just in time to see Mayday dive into sewers. Hearing the footsteps stop behind him, Zuke turned around.

“I’m gonna go after her, go ahead to the main gate.”

Not waiting for a response, Zuke climbed down the ladder into the sewers. He flicked on a small flashlight he had to see better in this darkness. His footsteps echoed in the tunnels as he followed May’s footprints.

“May!” He called out, his voice echoing back at him.

“Come on where are you?”

Sudden movement down a tunnel to his left had him shine his flashlight down it. He just barely caught a flash of red as it turned left at the end of the tunnel. Taking off after her once again, Zuke kept talking.

“May why are you doing this?”

“Just go away Zuke, get out of Vinyl City while you still can.”

“Not without you!”

“You have to!”

“Bull! Come on lets go!”

May said nothing as they kept running around the tunnels, Zuke getting frustrated with her.

“Why do you suddenly want ti stay?”

“I don’t.”

“Then come with us.”

Mayday paused on a ladder, halfway up to an open manhole. Her body shook and her voice cracked as she spoke.

“I can’t. Not anymore.”

Mayday rapidly ascended the rest of the ladder and was out of the sewers. As Zuke climbed after her, he heard startled shouts. Upon reaching the top and lifting himself our, he glanced up to see Kliff, Aunty, Gigi, and Kayane.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“We never left, you all circled.” Gigi answered.

“Why didn’t you go to the gates?”

“We weren’t about to leave without either of you.” Kliff told him.

Zuke shook his head “Well where did May go?”

“Back to the NSR tower, but wait man-“

Zuke ran on ignoring whatever else Gigi might have said. He managed yo reach the tower and pushed his way through the doors. Mayday stood just ahead of him, hunched over, breathing even harder than before.

“You need to leave Zuke. It’s not safe here.”

“Yeah, I know. So why are you here?”

“I mean it’s not safe for you.” She paused glancing over shoulder a bit. “Any of you.”

Zuke looked behind him to see the others just outside the tower’s doors.

“And it is for you? Why are you acting so weird?”

“Just go, please.”

“Not without you!” Zuke stepped forward.

“Uh Zuke there’s something you don’t-“

Gigi was interrupted by Mayday “I told you I can’t leave anymore!”

“Why?!”

“Zuke wait!” Kayane this time. He still ignored her.

“I, I just can’t. I-“

Zuke grabbed May’s arm only to find himself shoved back. He lost his grip on her and stumbled.

“Don’t. Please Zuke. I’m going to be gone soon.”

Zuke startled at that and shone his flashlight on her to see better in the darkness. Maydays stared back at him sorrowfully. Scales had begun growing on her arms, and her feet had begun to change shape to something more animal like. Her breath rattled out in huffs and he could see her teeth looked mangled as they also started to change shape.

No.

Nonononono.

Not her, not Mayday too.

“When?”

Zuke thinks it was Aunty who spoke, but he was too lost in his spiraling thoughts to be sure.

“Since Sayu. It was small at first. Bad headaches, body pain. I just chalked it up to the horrible noises and the fights though.”

Mayday coughed, a strange sound accompanying it from her lower throat.

“But then with Yinu and 1010 my skin started to hurt and burn. Till i noticed the bumps. By the time we got to Eve scales started forming. I grabbed those shoes for a while when I noticed my feet changing.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?!” Zuke finally found his voice.

“Because you would’ve stopped trying to escape.”

“Go, please.”

“But-“

“I SAID GO!”

May suddenly shoved him out the doors and slammed them shut. Zuke fell to the ground, hearing a latching sound. He immediately jumped to his feet and banged on the now locked doors.

“May don’t do this!”

“I have to Zuke. This isn’t curable, you know that.”

“Then I’ll stay.”

“No!”

“Like hell I’m gonna just leave you!”

“You are not throwing away your life just mine is done! Do you got that dammit?!”

Zuke paused at that. May spoke again before he could respond.

“I’m sorry. But you need to go. Our time together was great, and I wish it could keep going. But it can’t. I’m finished. But you’re not. Live your brother’s life, mine too. Do what we didn’t get to. Please, for me?”

“I-I can’t just-“ Zuke slammed his fists on the door, leaning his forehead on it.

“Aunty.”

Zuke suddenly found himself hoisted over Aunty’s shoulder, as she began to walk away.

“Wait no what are you-“

Aunty looked at Kliff who hadn’t moved.

“I’ll carry you too if I have to you better get moving.”

Kliff paused for a while longer before dragging his feet, stumbling, and glancing back again and again till the tower was out of sight. Zuke limply lay on Aunty’s back as it really sinking in that May was going to die. Sure her body would still be there but eventually it wouldn’t be hers anymore. She would just be the infection. And she was gonna die alone.

Zuke didn’t even realize how long everyone had been walking until he saw large gates shutting vehind everyone.

They finally made it out of Vinyl City.

I may make another small companion piece from May’s POV tomorrow. But for now, bed.



[kittyspring-creates]

this is a rant fic mostly. Ship Kit x Larry my oc for sally face. Warning for suicide talk.

Kit sat with her back to the wall, knees to her chest as endless tears fell down her round cheeks. Evidence of her breaking heart, sore and torn. It didn't take long for her to be found. She was at a party after all. Someone else house. Someone else plans. Someone else life in a way. The gathering of people all having a great time as they lose them selves to the bliss of alcohol and drugs. But she had thrown her euphorbia up. Expelled it a while ago, her stomach to weak for what she wanted. It sent her spiraling. Alone in the back of the house where there was no bathroom, no alcohol, no drunk girl to mess with.

Just her and now the slapping of approaching feet. She gasped, snapping her head up to meet the person. He fear calming when she saw the figure. His slight sway in his motion telling his inebriated state. He stopped his walk right in front of her then rested his forehead on the wall. He Looked down at her as his long brown hair flowed over his shoulders. Darkening his hazy expression. She hiccupped as her tears stopped. He raised his limp hand to her head. Rubbing the side of it and petting her droopy ear that laid against her. She leaned into his touch and sniffled. Closing her eyes for a moment until he spoke to her.

"What's the matter" he mumbled, voice hoarse from the burn of the night. She lowered her head back down and began to sob. Her halted tears starting up again. "Everything. This place, my place, my family, my job or lack there of. I'm stuck. Stuck in a house if man babies and a yelling step mom who doesn't believe anyone else can be upset or is allowed to be emotional. Its just like before. Like with my mom. Her abuse and intolerance of me even breathing. Like my ex and his habit of starting fights and putting words in my mouth just to storm of and make me beg for forgiveness. Its never better. Its only ever worse and worse" she rambled. She sat up to wipe her cheeks and try to take in deep breaths. Gasping for air that she needed. Her voice shaking in whines and chokes with her personal waterfall coming down her face. "Its all terrible and no matter how much I prepare for the future rent goes up and food goes up and I need to prepare more so I don't end up on the street. But it keeps going up and I mentally cant handle working full time all the time. But its an excuse, I'm just being lazy, I'm not gonna go anywhere in life like that. I don't matter, my comfort means nothing" she raised her voice. She took in one last big breath and her shoulders sank. Her hiccups subsided and her gasping lessened. She laid her head down on her knees as she loosely held her ankles. She sniffled while she looked at nothing. Taking in none of what she saw before her. "Kitten" the man began again. "Do you want to die" he wondered. Low and raspy. She blinked slowly then mumbled "Yes, more then id like to admit" she confessed.

"You want to leave forever into the abyss where no one can hurt you anymore and you can finally stop existing" he painted a picture with his words. Kit raised her head to look at him, her large eyes dull and red from her crying. "Larry" she whispered. He pushed back from the wall and moved over to the right. He dropped down beside her, his head still swaying a little. "I think about it a lot. Dying. How easy it be. How it would end everything. Sometimes I get angry. They say death doesn't happen to you it happens to the people around you. Sometimes I don't care if their sad about it cause they don't care about me now. Cause I'm not around to help them with their shit so they mourn a therapist that worked without the pay or benefits. And that scares me to. That I don't care. Are you the same Kitten" he turned his head to meet her gaze. She was still holding herself. Hunched to rest in her prompted up legs.

"Yes, I think about that to. No one would really be sad. I would disappear and they'd fake it but really they'd all be happy. After the initial shock and the anger of paying for a funeral. They'd feel lighter with out me. I wouldn't have to fight anymore just to be heard. Or be back handed for having emotions and opinions. In a way id be free from all of it, the manipulation, the trauma, capitalism. Sometimes I don't even care about losing the good things if it means I don't have to suffer the bad anymore" her voice was distant, low and hopeless. Carrying nothing but the shattered remains of her chaotic thoughts.

The man turned his head to look out at the scene in front if them. "Id be sad...though I don't think it matters much. Because id know you'd be at peace. Would you be worse off it I left" he babbled. The woman leaned over to rest herself on his large form. "If you left I would never stop crying. I would cry until my heart cant handle it anymore and I took the leap myself. Its dramatic I know. Selfish even" she moved closer to him. He leaned down and rested his head in top of hers. "Kit, I'm barely surviving. Like you, its all I think about when I'm alone. How much I want to die. How much I know you want to die. How you walked out into traffic and if that car didn't swerve you wouldn't even be here. How everyone forgets and pretends it never happened. Acting like your fine. No one prioritizes you. I think about how easy it be for you to disappear." He reached for her hand and gripped it tightly. She let him, intertwining their fingers. She looked up to see him begin to tear up. "I hate that we're losing, that the assholes of the world have pushed us so far that we want to die. How they keep coming and no one seems to care or wants to do anything about it cause people are just people. I hate watching you suffer, I hate how everyone you met has taken a piece of you, that's not fucking fair. I hate how everyone's taken a piece of me. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. Or how to make myself happy" the man began to cry. The droplets running down his face as he clenched his jaw in frustration.

"Larry I wanna take you home. But that would mean taking you to the place you hate. Where some man has walked your floors acting like he owns the place. And I can't take you to my place. Not with the constant yelling and temper tantrums going on. The lack of privacy everywhere. Its better to just stay here and fall asleep against this wall. Maybe we wont wake up" the man hiccupped at her ramble. A smile forming on the side of his face. "Your about to say something cute like 'they'll find us here together and know we were best friends'" now she was the one to chuckle and smile. "Are you quoting mew mew power" she wondered.  "Yeah" he held her tighter to stop the trembling of his hand. He ran his thumb along her hand. Trying to ground himself. The conversation ended. Both tired now and un able to move from their spot. The over whelming sadness anchoring them like stone to the floor and wall. Not like any of it mattered they concluded. They really could stay there and no one would care, no one would worry about them. They didn't matter to a soul. To the world around them.

[notgonnarememberthis]

find your way (back to me) - chapter ten

God, I have been SO EXCITED for this chapter. BIG praise to Em who helped me get through little hooks and finding Martin’s voice. Honestly they are crazy talented and have such a grasp for his tone and movements they’re such a big help to me and I love my best friend so damn much ok. 

Anyways!! I wanted to send this out after tonight’s ep but I have yet to watch it. I was out with my sister helping her get over a sad spell so I unfortunately missed it live and won’t be able to watch until tomorrow so I would love to avoid spoilers. Thank y’all so much!! Hope y’all enjoy the update!

Gil opens the door to the morgue, Edrisa looks up from the body with a small nod but her normal smile isn’t quite there. Malcolm stands beside her shifting from side to side. He raises an eyebrow but says nothing. JT lingers in the corner of the room, jaw set. “Ready?”

This presentation feels heavier than most. It doesn’t help either he or Malcolm that they both had to reluctantly leave the apartment so early in the morning. Ainsley remained behind, having called in a few favors to work from his place at least until the case was solved. Still, he worries. They both do.

“Yes,” Edrisa breathes, settling into the motions. “Cause of death was the slit throat. There were traces of tranquilizer in the victim, that might be how he was transferred from place to place. The state of the body suggests he’s been dead for a day.”

“He was alive an entire week. Our killer waited. He waited until mother was out of the hospital.” He’s already agitated, it’s not good.

“He wasn’t killed in Mrs. Whitly’s home. He was transported post mortem.”

“We can assume our killer has completely unraveled. This kill goes completely off M.O.”

“He’s desperate.” Gil agrees. 

“Has she remembered anything yet?” Gil turns to where JT is standing.

“No.” Malcolm sighs, “She’s going through dissociative amnesia. Ainsley did after…” He gestures, it’s enough for them to understand. “Honestly, I hope she doesn’t.”

“You do?” The question isn’t meant as a harm but he sees Malcolm flinch. There’s a flash of guilt on JT’s face but Malcolm waves him off before he can apologize.

“From an investigative standing? I would. It would certainly help narrow it down.” He shakes his head, like trying to rid of a thought that was too much even for him. “But after Ainsley remembered? She completely shut down. She looked right past us and it tore my mother up.” Gil remembers that. The blank stare lasted for hours before she finally broke down. It was Jessica who finally got her out of it, playing with her hair and singing her a lullaby. “I don’t want that for her.”

Edrisa places a gentle hand on his shoulder, and to Malcolm’s credit rather than flinching away he subtly leans into the touch.

“Did we find out any more about Freddy?” The question seems to bring a new heaviness to the room. Edrisa and Malcolm share a look, one that tells they know something that hasn’t been spoken quite yet.

“We found an ID card on the inside of his jacket.” Edrisa grabs a baggie with the ID badge inside passing it to Gil. “He was a student volunteer at Claremont Psychiatric.”

“Claremont? You think-”

“We don’t know if he has any connection to the surgeon.” Malcolm’s eyes fall to the body. “But I’ve seen him around. It was only in passing but he was nice. Always smiled when I passed.”

“Does Jess know?”

“No. But it gets worse.”

“Worse?” Malcolm bobs his head before straightening, trying to summon every ounce of professionalism he has to ignore the warring feelings.

“Freddy’s full name is Francisco Garcia. When mom was delivering her statement to the police she said Freddy helped tie the tourniquet on her leg. That his mom is a trauma surgeon.” Gil’s face sinks, coming to the same conclusion. Jessica’s doctor that had been helping in the investigation, Dr. Garcia. “Agent Swanson is on her way to the hospital to confirm our findings. But we’re almost certain it’s Dr. Garcia’s son.”

“Did she know he was missing?”

“My guess? No. He was a med student and a volunteer. He probably went weeks at a time without checking in.” Gil runs a hand through his beard. Even thinking about telling Jessica was ripping him apart. She’d connected well with her doctor, it helped that she was a friendly woman. But Jessica will want to help with funeral expenses, help the family financially for whatever they need. There’s no way he can get past telling her.

A ringtone startles them out of the somber silence. Malcolm reaches into his pocket, eyebrows furrowing when he reads the caller ID. “Ains?” His anxious movements stop as his eyes meet Gil’s “What’s wrong?” He can barely make out the sound of crying coming from the phone “What do you mean she’s gone?” Gil sucks in a breath. Gone could mean too many things. “It’s ok. Is her phone still there?” He waits with a fearful beat. “That’s good. She might have left on her own. I’m going to go see if I can track her phone. Have Dani drive you here and we’ll find her ok?”

Malcolm hangs up and he looks ready to throw something. It’s Edrisa who slips the phone out of his hand before he decides to do just that. He clenches his hand taking a deep breath before speaking.

“My mother is gone.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jessica’s eyes open to the sound of her phone chiming followed shortly by the sound of the front door shutting. From the light pouring into the bedroom she would guess its at least the afternoon. Sleeping in Gil’s bed made it easier to chase away the nightmares and if she did wake up his presence was enough to soothe her. Listening to his slow breathing lulled her back to sleep eventually, too exhausted for another nightmare.

She picks up her phone, squinting as the light hits her face.

Work emergency. Will be back soon, order takeout and have them give it to George.

So it was Ainsley she heard leaving. She sits up carefully pulling her hair up out of her face. Her phone chimes again

And don’t leave!!

She bites her tongue staring at her bags in the corner of the room. Gil and Malcolm carried all that she’d need for the stay for at least a week. The memories of last night hang over her head precariously, like a rope ready to snap.

She takes her medicine with the glass of water on the nightstand.

Her eyes fall on the shirt from last night. Gil had her change when they arrived and, truthfully, it helped her feel lighter. Yet the note in the pocket still weighs on the back of her mind. There was only one possible way he’d know how she took her tea. It was such a small detail even Malcolm, at his age, wouldn’t remember much less Ainsley. She’d stopped drinking tea for a while after his arrest. It took her years before she found a blend she liked again.

Nobody should know that.

And yet.

Jessica rubs her eyes, dread threatening to push her down into the covers where it was safe and warm again. The thoughts taste foul as she files through. She needs to go see Martin, he’s the only one with the answers. If Gil knew there would be no chance he’d let her go anywhere near Claremont, for perfectly good reasons. Hell, if Malcolm and Ainsley knew they wouldn’t let her out of her sight. Ainsley will only be gone for a short bit, if her texts are accurate.

Now is her only chance.

Getting dressed takes slower than she’s happy with. The pull makes her breath catch in her throat more than a few times. She eyes the wheelchair next to the bed for a moment. She knows the doctor’s order, but around Martin showing weakness at all is a loss. It gives him control of the conversation.

Giving him any sort of control is the last thing she wanted.

She gathers herself, dressed as she normally would. She uses makeup to cover what she can. However some of the scrapes are still so sore that she doesn’t bother. She grabs the note, giving herself a few beats to change her mind and stay. Finally, when she deems herself ready she sweeps out into the living room, opening the front door doing her best annoyed mother tone.

Her eyes settle on the officer patrolling, ready to put on the performance of her life. “Will you drive me to Claremont? My son insists that I shouldn’t be left alone and he’s visiting his father.”

“Sure thing Mrs. Whitly.” The officer, George, grins at her.

“Wonderful.”

The ride there is silent. She practices what she will say in her head over and over. Not that any amount of practice will prepare her to speak to Martin again. It only gets worse as she’s escorted through the halls. She can feel his presence long before she reaches his cell; it’s choking, a cavern that threatens to swallow her and her entire family whole.

“Jessica!” He gasps as she steps in, like he hadn’t known she’d be coming. The shock doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Mr. David didn’t mention you’d be visiting today. I’ve got to say, you’ve looked better.” He gestures vaguely, talking about the scratches on her that she couldn’t cover with makeup. She’s just thankful that she could cover the bruises. “I thought for sure that our children, Malcolm especially, would have you on lockdown. Though, I suppose that never stopped you before.”

She bites the remark that’s on the tip of her tongue. If she wants answers she’ll have to appeal to him. “Malcolm is on the case, Ainsley had some kind work emergency and had to leave.”

He tuts, tilting his head. “Sneaking out? Giving them a taste of their own medicine, huh?” He straightens, narrowing his eyes oh so slightly. “Now don’t tell me you visited just to chat. Not that I’m complaining but come on, I would have put on my good cardigan.”

“No.” He purses his lips at her rejection, but doesn’t interrupt. “Last night there was a body in the kitchen-”

“Someone broke into our home?” My home. She aches for the rebuttal but the answers are too important and she doesn’t have enough time before Ainsley realizes she isn’t there. She will text Malcolm and he’ll no doubt pull every resource he has to find her here, of all places. So she sets her jaw.

“There was a note on my nightstand when I woke up next to a cup of tea that said, just how you like it.” His brows furrow before an understanding washes over him. She thinks, just for a moment.

“Classic stalker behavior.” He shrugs. “Who knows how long he’s been watching you.” She swallows, the thought making her heart freeze. His aloof behavior is betrayed by the years of visits between him and their son. He knows. “And where was the Lieutenant?”

The question scratches her world to a deadly halt. All of the anger at what had happened; the days she was trapped, the injustice of Freddy’s death, her family being threatened. All of it topples over with the words he meant as a knife to her most cherished relationship other than her children.

“Wouldn’t he be there to protect you?”

“Malcolm was.” Darkness washes over him and she watches all the fake humanity drain from his eyes. Barely contained rage makes the room feel colder. She doesn’t allow herself the step backwards that would make her feel more comfortable. “Malcolm was asleep in the chair in the corner of the room.”

“Malcolm was there?”

“Of course he was there! You know Malcolm! He wouldn’t fucking leave let alone sleep in a different room!” She lets out a shuddering breath. “He wouldn’t- he can’t-” Her words jumble and anger is making her shake painfully. Her core aches and she is almost certain if she doesn’t calm down she’ll accidentally pull stitches. “He was in my home. He was in the goddamn kitchen. He was in my room where we were sleeping!” Martin tilts his head, it’s the disapproving tilt. One that she’s seen hundreds of times when a curse slipped out in front of Malcolm or Ainsley when they were so young. He always hated when she cussed. “Malcolm, god he was so tired he didn’t even stir when I woke up.” She can feel the tears coming down but she’s hopeless to stop them now. She’s in an absolute spiral. “God knows how long he was there. How many times he walked past Malcolm. It could’ve been Malcolm.”

The last words are an almost incoherent sob. She had come here, every intention of holding her ground. And here she is having a fucking panic attack in front of her serial killer ex husband. A bitter laugh escapes her.

“It could’ve been Malcolm.” She repeats. “And every time I remember I don’t see that poor boy’s face. I see Malcolm’s. Our son.”

A hand reaches out stroking the tears from her cheek. It takes her far too long to connect the touch to Martin. “Jessie-”

She rips herself away the second her mind connects the dots. The sudden movement causes a new wave of pain. She curses again leaning against the furthest wall to regain her self control. “Stop!” She shouts, getting the attention of Mr. David. “Stop acting like you fucking care.” It hurts too much. She feels like she’s going to stop breathing at any second. When he looks at her with that much sympathy it’s too much. It reminds her of being hunched in the bathroom, morning sickness taking a toll on her. He stayed with her, holding her hair. That sympathy is not only fake, it’s toxic. Another way to gain control.

“That’s not fair.”

“Isn’t it?” She snaps. “You know. You know who it is and you let us be hurt by him. What did you do Martin? What the fuck did you do?” The room holds impossibly still for what feels like an eternity. He heaves a sigh, defeated.

“Lieutenant Arroyo wasn’t the first to catch me.” The words stop her in her tracks. She watches him warily, not trusting a single word he says. “I never met him, but I received a call, a year or two before.” Her stomach sinks, the year or two before was when she’d noticed his growing absence. “He had connected me to a missing woman, able to pin me at her last seen location.” She swallows, realizing he isn’t moving. No shifting head, wild gesturing movements. It’s the truth. “He wanted money.”

“Oh god.”

“I told you I was funding a project at the hospital. Every month I would send him money for his silence.” She holds her breath. “When I got arrested the money stopped, but the calls didn’t.”

“What.”

“He would threaten Malcolm and Ainsley. He was a belligerent drunk. From what I could gather after he lost that money he lost everything, wife divorced him and took the kids. He drank to forget.” He twists his shoulders back, fixing his posture. “I helped him again. Got him into rehab. From what I could tell, he got his life back together.”

“And became a serial killer.”

“Well not all of us can be perfect, Jessie.” He continues with a shrug, “Never got the wife back but found his faith in religion. Not to keen on it myself but to each their own.”

“Where is he now?”

“From last I heard? He got his job back.”

Just like that the world stops spinning. Her pain makes way for horrific clarity. The black clothes with the covered badges. Malcolm and Gil’s frustration over his ability to get in and out of the park despite there being patrols all over the city. How he got into her home without alerting anyone. “He’s a cop.”

“Yes.”

Anxiety clamps down on her stomach. The man has been right there all along. None of them had even suspected. Hell, it could’ve been the man that drove her here. She suddenly, ironically feels herself not wanting to leave. She can’t seem to move. Her feet feel too heavy. Her mind and body aching from overexertion. 

“Jessica?” She hears Martin call to her but she feels too far away to respond. Only the wall behind her is holding her up. “Jessie.” The annoyance laced in his tone exacerbated as she hears the door to the hallway slide open. “Jess!” Panic.

The door opens beside her and Malcolm and Ainsley step in, looking equally alarmed and agitated. Their eyes fall on her, and she sees the color strip from their faces. Malcolm is on her in a second, hands holding her up by her elbows. She must look too pale because he looks like he’s ready for her to faint.

Ainsley, on the other hand, whips around to Martin, eyes accusatory. “What the fuck did you do to her?” She should stop her, a part of her thinks. Yet she still doesn’t move. It’s Mr. David who grabs Ainsley by the middle pulling her back over the red line towards safety. Whether it’s her own or Martin’s she’s not entirely sure.

“Mom. Hey, mom. Look at me.” She does. “We gotta go. Ok?” No, they can’t. It’s not safe. How did they get here? “Gil’s waiting outside. They wouldn’t let him in, but he’s going to take us back.” She relaxes a little. She needs to warn them about the cop. She needs to. But she feels lightheaded and her heels are far too unstable. “I got you, it’s ok.” And he smiles, that gentle smile when he swears that everything will be alright. “Ains, come on.”

She’s braced on both sides by her kids as she walks out with Martin shouting behind them.

[primroseprime2019]

The Little Girl and The Dinosaurs

On a dark cold December night, there was little four and a half American/Italian girl was coloring on a piece of paper in the carpet near the fire. She has dark brown hair and blue eyes, and slightly tan skin; she was wearing pink nightgown and a silver whistle attached to her neck. Her name was Valentina Rosalina Grady and she was waiting for her parents to come from work. Truth be told, this was no ordinary little girl. She was different from the rest of the kids in her neighborhood. She had unbelievable powers. Ever since she was born, strange things happened. Animals from shape and sizes would come near her and tried to make her smile or laugh. And when she was in the backyard, flowers and plants would grow. It was really strange but her parents accepted her gift but they had to keep it a secret. So her parents decided to keep her home schooled so the kids in her school won't be scared at her.

Speaking of her parents, they were really good people. Her dad was name Oscar Grady. He had light brown hair and adventurous blue eyes. He used to be a Navy soldier but he retired to become a collage history teacher. He loved to teach others to learn but during his free time, he would play with his baby girl and make her smile while teaching her how to do combat to control her powers and even though she was small, she was a fast learner. She was smart for a little girl but her curiosity got the better of her and she would get into a little trouble. Her mom was name Alma. She was a beautiful Italian woman. She has dark brown hair and warm brown eyes. She was a doctor and was very kind to her patients. Every man wanted to marry her but she chose Oscar because he was very funny and smart. Valentina loved her parents with all her heart and soul and would stay by their side no matter what. Well, except when she had to go to the bathroom.

Then a teenage girl with blond hair and chocolate brown eyes; She wore a red sweater, brown pants and cowboy boots. She was about the age of eighteen. She came out from the kitchen. "Val, it's almost past yer bed time." She said in a sweet western accent.

Val looked at her almost pleadingly, "Awww… but Abby, can I stay up fow five mowe minutes? Mommy and Daddy pwomise to wead me a bed time stowy."

Abby smiled at her, "Alright but remember yer ma and pa ain't gonna like it to see their little baby girl still awake and energetic."

Val smiled brightly, "Thanks Abby! You'we the best babysittew evew!"

Abby's real name was Abigail Starious. She lived down the block with her big brother, Joshua or Josh, close to Valentina's home. She and her brother moved from their family ranch to study in the big city to be doctors. Abby worked as a full time babysitter for Valentina also a waitress in a cafe and her brother Joshua worked as a mechanic, for cars. They knew about Valentina's power and would keep it a secret because they took a liking to her.

"Ah shucks, yer making me blush." Abby smiled then she noticed Valentina's drawing, "Watcha drawing there Val?"

Val showed Abby a red long neck animal with a crocked drawing of a tree. "It's a Ba-wo-sau-wus." She said trying to say the name correctly. It's correct name was Barosaurus.

"Is it a dinosaur?" Abby asked playfully, knowing the answer. Val loved dinosaurs so much that she had stuffed dinosaur toys in her bed room. She always dreamed of meeting one in Jurassic World but her parents were busy with their jobs so they didn't have time to go there. Not that she was complaining but Val understood her parents and would listen to them always.

"Uh-huh, they awe pwant eatews and they awe weally big!" Val said with a big and bright smile.

"Wow! I bet they can reach the tallest of all trees!" Abby said playfully.

Val nodded, "Yup! But they have to stand on theiw back wegs."

Abby smiled before going to kitchen to make some hot coco. Val went up to the sofa and looks at the window to wait for her parents. Val waited and waited and waited but her parents didn't come home yet. She fell asleep when the clock strikes nine. Abby became worried. Why didn't Mr. and Mrs. Grady come home yet? Abby pickd up Val and puts her to bed. She looked at her phone and sends an e-mail to Mr. Grady.

Mr. Grady, it's me Abby. I was wonderin' why ya aren't home yet with Mrs. Grady. If ya'll have an extra shift in yer work, I'll watch Val till tomorrow.

-Abby

Abby went to the couch and fell asleep as she waited for the text of Oscar. On the next day, Abby woke up and prepared breakfast. It was pancakes for breakfast. She heard little footsteps coming down the stairs. She turned and smiled to see Val holding her stuff honey colored raptor doll named Honey.

"Mornin' Val," Abby gave Val her breakfast. Val sat down and yawned before eating her breakfast. Abby opened the mini TV on top of the counter and let Val watch Disney Junior. Then the news appeared.

"I interrupt this program for this breaking new. Two married couples were killed on a car accident when a truck hit them last night. Police discovered the truck driver was drunk. The two married couples did not survive the crash."

Abby froze. 'Oh God! Please don't tell me!' She thought in fear.

"The married couples have IDs and their names are Oscar Grady and Alma Grady. The drunken driver was survived and his sentenced will be in soon after he recovers."

Abby's eyes widen in horror. She looks at Val and her heart broke at the sight. Val's eyes were wide as she broke down in tears. Abby comforted Val as she and Val would have to visit the police station to inform them about Mr. and Mrs. Grady having a four and a half year old daughter and retrieve their bodies to be buried. The funeral started early morning. It was cold and the snow fall down at them slowly. Val was wearing a black dress and shoes. She was in a graveyard with men and women that were friends with her parents. Abby was there by her side, wearing a black dress and her brother Josh, who had green eyes and blonde hair, was wearing a black clothes as well. Val placed a red rose on her mother and father's coffins as they were buried. Val put her picture in the middle, on her parents' grave, so they can see it in heaven above.

After she did she went to Abby and Josh and started crying, Abby and Josh comforted her. As the funeral was over everyone went home. Val was staying with Abby and Josh for a while until they can find any relatives that Val had. But the problem was that no one knew who was the closest family member.

Val was sitting on a couch, wearing her black dress. She has a red scarf that belongs to her mother; her whistle was buried in it, and her father's black beanie hat. She had dry tear stains on her face as she looked at a picture of her with her parents. Josh and Abby watched her with sympathetic looks.

"Is there any news 'bout her relatives?" Josh asked.

Abby shook her head, "Not yet, I'm still lookin'."

Josh sighed and he looked at Valentina sadly. Val wiped her tears away. "We can't just stand here and do nothin'." He looks at Abby, "We have to find her a family or at least part of her family. Do you remember if Mr. and Mrs. Grady havin' relatives?"

Abby tapped her chin with her index finger before snapping, "That's it! I remember seeing a picture of Mr. Grady with his brother. I think his name was Owen and he works at Jurassic World."

Josh smiled, "That's great! Do you know his number?"

Abby shook her head, "No but I bet Oscar has his number on his phone."

Josh nodded and the two went upstairs in Valentina's temporally room and went to her father's things and grabbed his cell phone before looking for Owen Grady.

"Let's see," Abby looked at the names inside the phone. "Here it is." Abby found the name Owen Grady and she calls him.

In the Isla of Nublar, a man with green eyes and light brown, hair wearing a blue shirt, with a black vest full of pockets, brown pants and shoes. He was in his bungalow fixing his motorbike. Then another man came. "Owen! Still enjoying your afternoon?" he asked with a strong African/French accent.

Owen wipes out a sweat from his forehead, "Yeah, taking a break from the girls, Barry." He throws his wrench in a toolbox.

Then Owen's cell phone rang. He picks it up to see a picture of a man with brown hair and blue eye. "Oscar? Huh, it's been long since I seen him."

"How long you haven't seen him?" Barry asked.

Owen counted his fingers, "I think about sixteen years."

Barry rolled his eyes at him as Owen answered his phone, "Hey Oscar! It's been long time since we spoke."

"Ah…howdy," Abby's voice answered, "Is this Owen Grady?"

"Yeah this is Owen and who are you and how the hell do you know my name and also how did you get my brother's phone?"

"I'm Abigail Starious." She answered, "I know yer brother because I and my brother, Joshua, lived down the blocks close to his house."

"Uh-huh, yeah and why are you calling in me using my brother's phone?" Owen asked.

"Didn't anyone tell you?" Abby asked.

"Tell me what?"

"Owen, your brother Oscar and his wife died in a car accident."

Owen froze, his phone was still in his ear and his mouth was hanging open and his eyes were wide as dinner plates, "When did this happen?"

"A week ago," Abby said, "Look, I know we just met but yer brother has a little four in a half little girl, who needs a family and yer the closest family she's got."

Owen didn't say anything. He and Oscar use to work at the Navy together until Oscar retired to be a history teacher in a university college and married an Italian woman name Alma. He and Oscar rarely talk due to the fact they were very busy in work but now his big brother was dead along with his wife and now his niece- one that he didn't know he had- was now an orphan.

"What's her name?" Owen asked, wanting know his niece's name.

"Her name is Valentina Rosalina." Abby said, "So are you going to take care of her? She's a very sweet girl and well behaves."

Owen thought about it. He is the only family left for his niece and he did took care of raptors, how hard can it be?, "Alright, I'll send her a ferry ticket next week to bring her here in the Isla Nublar."

Owen could hear Abby and Josh cheering happily, "Thank you! Josh and I are gonna get her a passport. She is goin' to be so happy!"

"Alright and thanks for the information." Owen said as he turned off his cell phone.

"What was that all about?" Barry asked.

Owen looked at him before saying, "Oscar and his wife Alma died in a car accident." Barry's eyes widen. "And I have a niece, that I didn't know I had, named Valentina Rosalina." Owen looked at Barry, "I'm the only family member she has left."

Barry's mouth was hanging open in shock, "Owen, you're going to raise a little girl that you barely know while working with Raptors?"

Owen shrugs, "Hey, I raised the girls and I'm still alive." He said, "How hard it is taking care of a little girl?"

Barry was about to answer but Owen quickly raised his right hand and said blankly, "don't say it."

Barry chuckled, "And how are you going to get a ferry ticket?"

"Easy, I'll asked Claire to give me and that doesn't work I could ask Simon Masrani." Owen looked at him, "But first can you help me buy the things that little girls like." Barry rolled his eyes but he decided to help because that little girl might not survive here. Barry and Owen went to the park to buy stuff for Val.

Meanwhile, Abby and Josh told Val everything. Val was shocked, happy, and worried. Shocked that she had an uncle that she didn't know she had, happy that she had an uncle and she wasn't alone and yet worried that her uncle might not like her. Abby helped Val pack her things like clothes, some toys, her Mandora Lute and her pink Ocarina. Val likes to play music. Her mom would teach her during her free time.

Josh bought Val a passport. They were lucky because Oscar used to work in the Navy. Owen was able to make Claire give him a ticket for Val after hearing the event and send it next week. After a few weeks, Josh was driving his car with Abby in the front seat. Valentina was wearing a red t-shirt with gray long sleeves, brown combat pant and orange shoes. She has mother's red scarf and her father's black beanie hat on. Her dark hair was tied into pigtails. As Josh parked the car, they went inside and saying their goodbyes to Val.

Abby was hugging little Val, "Bye sweet pea, I'm gonna miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too." Valentina said then she hugged Josh. "Bye, Josh."

Josh hugged her back before he let her go and he took out a small red box with a ribbon, "Yer Pa wanted to give ya this on yer birthday but since he can't I was wonderin' if ya wanted yer birthday gift a little early."

Val took the box and opened it to reveal a raptor claw fossil necklace. Val smiled and she put it own. She loved raptors as they were her favorite dinosaur. "Thanks Josh."

Josh smiled until the airport voice speaker's announce, "Ladies and Gentlemen the plane will leave in twenty minutes."

"Well, go on, ya don't wanna be late." Abby said with a smile.

"Yeah, yer gonna see many dinosaurs there." Josh then added, "And if somethin' cashes you...run." He whispered the last part, alarming Val.

"Josh!" Abby scolded.

Josh chuckled, "I'm just kiddin'. Jurassic World has tight security; ain't nothing gonna hurt ya."

Val nodded and went in line while she waved at Abby and Josh. Val sat near the window and put on her seat belt when the airplane took off. Val looked at the clouds in the sky. She took out the raptor necklace and held it tight. "Please, please, please, please like me." Val whispers before going to sleep.

[etaerealjin]

promises || jikook

genre: fluff, angst (!!)

pairing: jimin x jungkook + the rest of bangtan

background: ex-lovers, wedding preparations, wedding planner, brokenhearted!pjm, angst, (a bit of homophobia will be present, not much).

word count: 3.7k

– [ those in italic are set in the past ]

"Jimin!" A friend called out from behind the young man while he was folding the tripod used for the photobooth. He turned around and was soon engulfed in an embrace by his friend, Taehyung.

"Success!" They both say in unison and Tae soon helped him with wrapping up things. Of course, he's the one who arranged all of these so he's also in charge of cleaning up. Luckily, Taehyung was there to help him.

Ever since he was a college student, he's always dreamed of arranging events because it was his forté, and he really adored seeing people happy during their birthdays. His huge dislike was arranging funerals but of course he had to take those, for the money – but what he loved most is arranging weddings.

He thought, “If I can't have it, then might as well watch people fulfill my dreams for me.” Sure, he was an absolutely beautiful, handsome, amazing man but since he grew up in a highschool wherein gays or lesbians or bisexuals would often get bullied or made fun of because of their sexualities, he sulked and thought no one would ever wanna marry him, considering his sexuality.

He was gay and out, and he's absolutely proud of it. If it wasn't just for those homophobic people who bullied him back then. However, college changed his life. Taehyung was there ever since they were in middle school, and he's the only person who accepted Jimin in being gay, including his family also – but Tae stuck with Jimin through it all. From his rejections, to Jimin rejecting other people, from his first heartbreak, and his first boyfriend.

His first ex fucking boyfriend.

"My honeymoon would probably be at Los Angeles, I'll have him take pictures of me, and we'll spend a day in our hotel fucking, and then we'll stroll around and–" He got cut off when he heard a chuckle from behind, making it the reason why Taehyung had his eyes behind Jimin the whole time he was talking.

Jimin turned around to see Jeon, a varsity player who had – well, low grades, but he was a pretty fucking boy and he had manners, and he wasn't homophobic, and he's really skillfull with balls.

"So, spend a day in your hotel fucking and strolling around Los Angeles, huh?" Jungkook chuckled and sat beside Jimin cooly, but in the inside, he was going nuts and wanted to scream. He was so nervous but he got ahold of himself, unlike Jimin who had his eyes open wide.

It was just his fourth week of being a third-year college student, yes – he was now more out and proud of his sexuality but he didn't really like it when people confront him about it, especially boys, because he grew up being made fun of by them. He ended up just rolling his eyes and staring at Taehyung, completely ignoring the basketball player beside him, but his forehead creased when he saw Taehyung wink at him before leaving.

"Why not spent a day in my hotel – not fucking though, and lets stroll around the city for now?" Jungkook asked after a few minutes of silence, still stuttering through his words, but Jimin was left dumbfounded.

He wasn't going to make a decision anytime soon, and he thanked the bell for ringing. "Shoot, I still have basketball practice." Jungkook grew problematic, wanting to spend time with Jimin and wait for his answer, but also wanting to attend practice. "Can I borrow your phone?"

"Uh, yeah, of course." Jimin said while Jungkook stood up. Of course Jungkook knew Jimin wasn't going to give his number that fast, so he thought of another way to do that. "Just know I'm not giving you my nu–"

"I know, I need to call my mom."

Oh.

Jimin bit the inside of his lips and waited for Jungkook to return the phone until he felt a tap on his shoulder. "Got it, see ya!" He shouted and sprinted off to the field with a wide smile on his face. Jimin got confused but he then scurried off to his recent calls, only to see his last dial was Jungkook, basically giving Jungkook his number which wasn't his intention at all.

"Wow, I despise basketball players who always get their way with anyone they want!"

Turns out, Jungkook wasn't that kind of player Jimin was expecting him to be.

He puffed his cheeks and let out a big breath, getting up from his couch and cutting of the hours he spent staring at his wallpaper and thinking about things and what could've been.

He had a frown on his face, as always when he's alone, that got cut off and was soon replaced by panic when he heard his phone ring. He answered the call and was greeted with a loud "Hey!" from Hoseok, Taehyung's and his' friend who also helped him with his job.

"Lower your voice, bitchass–"

"Please, please, come to the office now, like right now!"

"Why? What happened?"

"Just go!" He heard two voices which were Taehyung's and Hobi's shout that in unison and his brows furrowed. He grabbed his keys in an instant and drove his car to the office. Jimin could say that he's a successful man now, he really is. There aren't much event planners and organizers in the city so when he started small, he already knew his goals and that it was gonna get attention. He's been with this job for a two years now and he loved it so much, considering that he's earning money for charity and he was working with his bestest friends.

Two years, yes – of course.

Somehow, Jimin was also not regretful with the part that he chose to fulfill his dreams despite what he went through. What they went through. There was a small part of him which was a bit thankful for the breakup, because if not, then he wouldn't be doing what he loved right now.

Was it even a breakup?

Was there even a breakup?

He pulled up in front of the office and went inside the building, taking the elevator to go upstairs. He hurried off to open the glass door but what he saw brought shock to his whole self.

By the back of the man sitting on the waiting sofa, who was reading magazines, he recognized who it was in an instant. It's been over two years but the memories still flashed by when he saw just a small look of the back of the man, Jeon Jungkook, his man. Used to be his man.

He stood there, stunned and didn’t know what to do but when he got to his senses, he realized how fast his heart was beating. All kinds of emotions rushed by him but he quickly got a hold of himself. He didn’t want to see Jungkook. He also didn’t want Jungkook to see him, well at least not right now.

He scurried off to the door behind the lobby only to be greeted with Hoseok's pitiful eyes and Taehyung biting his nails.

"Jimin.." Taehyung started and bit his lip. He let a deep breath out before starting his own apology speech but was cut off by Hoseok when he noticed how Taehyung was stuttering inaudible gibberish.

"Look, w-we didn't know that it was his voice. We didn't even know that it was him by the caller ID until he came here. With her. With a woman." Hobi started and fiddled with his fingers.

Jungkook and Jimin's breakup was a rather sensitive topic for them, including the fact that both Taehyung and Hoseok was there to witness how they both got ruined by each other. Though they tried getting them to work it out again, they all lost contact of Jungkook after that incident which led to Jimin being more devastated.

Jimin was silent. He didn't know how to react and what to even say, he wasn't hurt but there was a huge part of him that was nervous. He decided to gather his senses and breath out.

"Look, it's okay. I can face him. Why can't I? I mean, it's been two years and I was the one who caused this so..." He trailed off and unintentionally, his voice got muted on the last part. "Besides, it's not even a wedding. Who knows? It might be a – uh, a party! Or like, a funeral? Or a debut!"

"You don't have to do it if you can't."

"I can, Tae." He said and slowly placed his belongings on top of the table. He sighed and faced them, ready to talk to his ex-boyfriend and almost fiancé. He sighed and went behind Jungkook and the woman beside him and coughed, minding them of his presence while Taehyung and Hoseok stood behind him. 

“Oh, hi!” The girl who was sitting beside Jungkook stood up and stretched her hand out. “My name’s Park Jisoo, are you Mr. Park? The event organizer?"

The guy in the black leather jacket slowly turned around upon hearing the surname, and there, they locked eyes. Jimin felt his whole body weakening and he's still in a state of shock. Jungkook changed a lot over the few years, physically. He became more buff and well, hotter. Jimin wouldn't deny that. But that doesn't change the fact that he broke that man's heart.

"Oh yeah, this is Jungkook. My–"

"Oh yeah, I know. He called the office yesterday, right, Mr. Jeon?" Jungkook stood up and nodded. He didn't say a word, let alone know that Jimin already achieved his dreams of becoming an event organizer, let alone know that Jimin was the owner of the business they contacted.

Jimin let out a shaky breath and gestured his hands towards the table. Jisoo sat down across Jungkook and Jimin was in front of them. He got his notepad out, ready to take down notes, obviously hurting from the inside but he collected his shit and forced a smile.

"So what's the event? Like, is it a debut? Or a party? You know we do all kinds of–"

"It's a wedding."

And that was the time when Jimin shouldn't feel anything anymore, after two years, but he still did. What hurt him more is that the answer came from Jungkook's mouth.

"Our wedding."

"I want it here in Korea, Gguk." Jimin said as he dipped the paintbrush in the pot of brown paint, coloring the hair of the man in the painting.

"What? Why?"

"Don't you want to? I mean, Korea feels like home. It's where we came from. I don't want it to be a hassle for everyone to fly to another country just for a wedding."

Jungkook nodded and painted the sky, agreeing to Jimin's plans as he should and as he wanted to. After all, he's the aspiring organizer here so he knew what was right.

"I want to get married on a beach, babe. The aisle and the flowers should be pink, and the theme of the wedding should be floral. Oh! What if I wear something bright pink? But, Seokjin-hyung wouldn't like that, he'll say that it's his idea, right. I'll wear something baby pink, and you'll wear a white suit. It should be a windy day, we'll be saying our vows while the wind is–"

"Love?"

"Yes? I want our cake to be red velvet–"

"Look at me." Jimin turned around and locked eyes with Jungkook. "No matter what the wedding is gonna be like, I want it to be with you, okay?"

Jimin chuckled and held Jungkook's waist, tiptoeing and giving his lips a light peck. "Of course, who else would it–"

"Promise?"

Jimin smiled and let out a shaky breath. "Yeah, promise."

I guess promises were meant to be broken after all. Jimin shut his eyes and drank the banana milk from his side table, biting his lip after that and letting out yet another deep breath from crying. His eyes were bloodshot and he had tear-stained cheeks that were puffy – and apparently, a broken heart.

Ever since that day, he spent most of his nights crying after arranging things for their wedding. Busy months had already passed ever since he promised himself that he wasn't going to cry about it, that he wasn't going to let it get to him, but again, promises were meant to be broken.

Taehyung even suggested that they shouldn't take the offer, but Jimin insisted, saying that he's fine and it'd be a good money for them, and that he loved doing the work – but in reality, he was hurting so fucking much. His heart would feel like it was being torn apart by every arrangement he was doing for the wedding – from the cake, to the place, to the the theme and to the location. It all hurt.

But he wanted to do it.

He really did. Maybe a way of accepting the consequences of his actions back then, and also to be with the love of his life for the last time before they go on their own ways. Jimin obviously had the worst path.

On a good note, Taehyung and Hoseok, even with Yoongi, Hoseok's boyfriend were all supporting Jimin's decisions and helping him. They had four months to arrange the wedding, and now they're only down to a week. It was all close to being finalized but the designs for the event still weren't fixed, and that's what Jimin is going to take care of today.

He started the engine and drove to the shop where he had to get designs, but as soon as he halted because of the stoplight, he received a text from an unknown number.

"Can you go to the beach?"

Jimin's forehead creased, but he instantly knew who it was. He gulped and left the message on read, turning the other way to go to the place since Jungkook and his fiancé might say something they want for the wedding. Though he knew it was going to hurt a lot, putting himself in between the two of them, but he endured that and kept in mind that after all of this, he's going to get money and well, at least, closure for himself.

He walked to the sandy beach and got confused when he saw Jungkook on the sand, sitting there alone. He wondered where his fiancé was but a part of him was somehow grateful. "Hey!" 

 Jungkook turned around after hearing Jimin and he stood up with an enlightened face. "Where's Jisoo? I though she'd be here because I was also about to–" 

 "Oh, n-no. It's just me. She's at home." Jungkook said and bit the inside of his lips upon seeing Jimin's expression. "Did you think that I made you come here because of the preparation?"

"Uh, yeah? What else could it be?" He gulped and shook his head lightly, staring over at the ocean in front of them and letting silence take over them once again. It was nothing for Jungkook. But, it was a lot for Jimin. He needed it. The love of his life's presence beside him, the wind hitting their faces and ruining their hair, and just the sound of the waves. That was enough for him to feel at peace, it was enough for him before they go on their own ways – before Jungkook gets married. Jimin obviously had the difficult path. 

 "Congrats." 

 They looked at each other after saying that in unison. Jungkook chuckled and hugged himself, feeling cold. "You know, for achieving your dreams of becoming an event organizer. From the start, I knew you were gonna be successful." 

Jimin's whole face lit up at that. He was delighted inside. So happy because he wanted to hear that– he needed to hear that because Jungkook was the only one he wanted to receive it from. The side of his lip rose up but his gaze was still at the ocean, but inside, his heart was fluttering crazily. The last time he felt that was two years ago, and still from the same person. 

 "You too, I guess. On your engagement." He said even though a part of him wanted to say their engagement, which could have been. "So, uh – did you make me come here to congratulate me?" He chuckled. 

 "Oh, no! I uh– I wanted to give this." He rummaged in his pocket to bring out a box, and Jimin's face had an unexplainable expression. His lips parted and felt his heart weaken. 

 "You still have this?" He asked and gently grabbed the small pink velvet box from Jungkook's hand. 

 "Well, yeah. I-I thought it was beautiful and I didn't know what to do with it so I decided to.. yeah." Jimin nodded and stared at the box in silence before putting it inside his own pocket. He bit his lip and mustered up all the courage he had to say that one thing he's been dreading to say. 

 "Hey, I'm sorry." 

Jungkook chuckled, not sarcastically, but he really didn't know what to say. "Hyung, that was like two years ago. I wouldn't have proposed to Jisoo if I still haven't moved on from it, and you did too, r-right?" 

Jimin remained silent because he didn't want to lie. He didn't nod, he didn't shake his head, he didn't say anything. He just let the wind ruin their hair and they both remained silent. 

"Jungkook, I–"

"Shhhh, just follow me." He said and intertwined his fingers with Jimin's. They entered the small arch and Jungkook quietly got the bouquet from Namjoon. 

"Ready?" He removed the blindfold covering Jimin's eyes.

"Happy second anniversary, love." Jungkook said and handed Jimin the bouquet with pastel flowers. He was still in awe at what he saw and he was speechless, but he let Jungkook carry him away with his hand as they walked to the middle of the indoor garden with their friends circling around the room, all anticipating for what's next. 

Jungkook grabbed both of Jimin's hands and sighed deeply before beginning to say his short speech. "Jimin, I love you. I love you so much to the point that I want to give you every good thing on this earth but unfortunately, I can't – and the only good and pure thing I can give to you right now is myself." He said that while staring into Jimin's eyes, and he looked back with pure adoration as he felt tears coming. 

"When I met you it all just felt right, it felt like my problems came to an end, really. It felt like our red strings were connected, and yes, I did say that because I know how much you believe superstitions." Jungkook giggled and breathed deeply once again, slightly shaking. 

"I also know how much you hate it when people don't go straight to the point so, Park Jimin.." Jimin's face contorted into so much awe and adoration, but he still didn't know what to feel and how to describe everything. He felt his knees weaken more when he saw Jungkook get down on one knee.

"Make me the happiest man on earth? Wear a pink suit on a windy day in a beach here in Korea, and marry me?" He looked up at Jimin with hopeful, teary eyes and the latter looked back with his teary eyes as well. Soon enough, Jungkook's hopeful expression switched to a worried one when he heard Jimin sobbing hardly. 

Jimin took his hand back from Jungkook and covered his face, sobbing and crying hardly, enough for the whole room to hear and everyone in there started getting worried as well. 

"Baby, what's wrong?" 

"Jimin removed his hand from his face and wiped his tears a bit. "Jungkook, I love you, I really do, please trust me on that, but–" 

And that's when Jungkook knew what was about to come.

He bowed his head down, still on one knee. "I'm not ready for this."

"Yes!" Taehyung and Hoseok cheered in unison as Yoongi watched them from the side. "Jimin–"

His call was cut off when they all turned around to see Jimin sitting on the lobby couch, tracing a pink box with his fingers. They exchanged nervous expressions but Taehyung was the one to approach and the couple stayed behind. 

"Hey, the bake shop called me and said they just got stuck in traffic, but they're on their way now." Taehyung gently said and sat beside Jimin. 

"Oh, yeah! Thanks!" He said and kept the box inside his pocket, standing up to fix his white button-down. "Lets go? The event's starting." 

He then jogged out of the lobby and to the beach. He stopped at the side and Yoongi and Hoseok followed beside him. Taehyung was separated from them and he was one with the crowd because he's the wedding photographer, so the three stayed behind. 

They all watched in awe when the flower girls and ring bearers walked down the aisle, as well as the bridesmaids and Jungkook's best men, Namjoon and Seokjin.

Jimin felt like his world was crumbling down, but in reality, it was right there – fulfilling his dreams, their dreams, but with another person.

It hurt. It hurt so fucking much for Jimin to the point that he could no longer pretend to be happy. His lips started getting wobbly from the biting, his way of concealing his tears from coming out, until he no longer could and just let a tear fall out from his left eye. 

"For richer and for poorer, 'til death do us part." 

Jimin whispered that the same time Jungkook did through the microphone, feeling his whole self getting weak. He then got the small pink velvet box Jungkook gave him from his pocket. 

He got the ring out and slipped it on his own ring finger, watching how Jungkook slip another into his wife's. 

"You may now kiss the bride." Jimin heaved a huge breath and felt Yoongi's hand pat his shoulder, telling him something – and that is that he needed to let go now. 

 "Thank you." Jungkook mouthed swiftly which only the two of them knew. He forced a small smile through his miserable tears, and brought out two thumbs–ups.

A part of him didn't want to let go just yet, but he needed to. He needed to be happy for the love of his life, even if that happiness no longer included him.

 "Always have, always will."

inspired by: “the one that got away” by katy perry + “never not” by lauv.

rly rly satisfied with this one !! and i’m feeling angsty as fuck so :’)

[lysbeth-inc]

aka im dying slowly :D

*trigger warning cause idk if yall sensitive about this stuff*

so i was diagnosed with a chronic illness, around early 2019, called GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). if you dont know what it is i’ll simplify it for you. its when a muscle at the end of your esophagus does not close properly. this lets your stomach fluids to leak back, or reflux, into the esophagus and irritate it. it causes maaajjjjooooorrrr chest pain. one time my legs gave out bc of how much pain i was in, i swear i was having a heart attack, i was rushed to the ER that day (dont worry im fine now). but depending on how severe it is you could have an acid reflux once a month to everyday. i used to have it everyday but i got it under down to once or twice about every two weeks with diet control. 

~~~~~

now that i explained all that...i can get to my story.

so i had another acid reflux this morning around 6:30, im not usually up by then so the reflux woke me up (acid refluxes usually get worse while youre lying down). i did what i normally do so its not as bad and its pain i can deal with; took meds, drank a lot of water and sat up for the next two hours.

i figured my girlfriend was up by then so i texted her then eventually told her i was in the middle of a reflux attack. she asked me if i was okay blah blah blah.

i started to have watery eyes and was drooling excessively at some point (which is my body telling me that i was going to throw up...i know from bad experience)  so i was on the verge of dying, texting my girlfriend and i just sat there... if i didnt know how to handle it id probably be on the floor dying. 

she kept asking me if i was okay (since i told her i was probably going to throw up) and for some reason, dont ask me why, a part of me was in continuous pain for the past two hours and yet my brain was like:

is in the middle of dying: ah yes must text female significant other 

then proceeded to tell her to start planning my funeral 

and she asked me why i wasnt in the bathroom preparing for my timely death, which i then responded with “i have to make sure you know what flowers i want at my funeral ok :D”

~~~~~ 

im fine now :)

[carryonsimoncarryonbaz]

Whumptober Day 27

Day 27: Ransom

17.  Ransom: Baz

Fiona

I’ve just settled down for the night. My tea. My bikkies. Hugh Grant in Four Weddings and A Funeral on the telly.

I’ll admit I’m a bit partial to Hugh, but I can’t for the life of me understand why they keep pairing him up with these bloody awful American women in his films. Fiona was a far better fit for him than that wretched Carrie. I suppose it’s all to appeal to American audiences.

Typical.

My mobile rings just as Henrietta spots Charles. Blast it. I like this bit.

It’s Malcolm. I pick up.

“Fiona, it’s Malcolm.”

“So I gathered. I do have caller ID, you know. That’s why I’m bothering to answer.”

“Have you spoken to Basilton today?”

Odd. I thought Basil was in Hampshire with them. I tell Malcolm just that.

“He is. . . he was.” It’s not like Malcolm to stumble over his words. “He went to the Club to play tennis with Dev this morning and he’s not back.”

“Did he run over to Dev’s then?”

“Dev hasn’t seen him. Not since midday.”

“Did you call his mobile?”

“I’ve called. Dev’s called. Basil isn’t picking up. It goes directly to voicemail.” Malcolm’s agitated. I can tell by the timbre of his voice. “I thought perhaps he’d come up to visit you for the night and forgot to tell us.”

Baz would never forget to tell Daphne. He’s conscientious about things like that.

“He hasn’t. I’ve not heard from him. Not since Tuesday.” I click the television off. “I’m sure he’s alright, Malcolm. Maybe he ran into some friends at the Club and they went out.” I can hear Malcolm’s fingers tapping through the line. Another tell of his. “Have you called the Club?”

“I have. Cecil said he saw him leave this afternoon. They’ve not seen him since.”

I check my watch. It’s half past ten.

I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all. It’s not as if Baz is a child. He’s of age. He’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

But he’s not prone to haring off without letting any of us know. He’s meticulous about that. He knows how Daphne frets.

He knows Malcolm worries.

“What can I do to help? I can try to call him, text him? Do a finding spell?”

“I’ve tried that.”

“And?”

“Nothing.”

“His mobile? Did you try tracking that?”

“He’s turned access off.”

I’m up off the sofa now. Where the hell are my keys?

“I’ll go to the Club. I’ll see if his car is still there.” I find my keys and pocket them, putting the phone on speaker as I pull on my boots.

Malcolm sighs. “Sorry. I thought I mentioned it. When I spoke to Cecil earlier I had him check the car park. His car was still there.”

“Well, I’ll go see for myself if it bloody well still is.” I grab my wallet and I’m out the door a moment later, mobile still clutched to my ear. “I’ll call you when I get there.”

The Jag is still in the lot when I pull into the Club parking area. It’s the only car there.

It’s locked, of course, because Basil is nothing if not a creature of habit. I spell it and open the door.

There’s nothing to see. It’s pristine as always, because Baz is a prat. No papers. No mobile. No tennis racquet, no bag. Nothing.

Where the fuck is he?

I drive to Hampshire. There’s no point in going back to my flat, not until we’ve got this figured out.

Malcolm

Fiona shows up at the door at half-past twelve. She looks as agitated as I feel. Daphne sweeps her into a hug and we all settle in the den. I pour her a whiskey. I pour one for myself as well.

A generous pour.

Daphne sips her Madeira.

“So now what?” Fiona asks, downing half her drink in one swallow.

“I think we need to report him as missing to the authorities,” Daphne says, eyes on me.

“The Normal authorities, you mean?” Fiona asks.

“Well, yes. There’s no magical authority to report him to.”

I’ve often thought it would behoove us to have our own experts for Magickal Law Enforcement. I’m sure there are those who feel that would be encroaching on the freedoms of Mages and some such rot. But in situations like this, the Normal way of doing things is often inadequate.

Fiona snorts. “No authority other than the Mage’s Merry Men.”

That is a sore subject. There is no formal constabulary in the World of Mages but Llewellyn has set up his own corps, under his authority and sole supervision—aptly called the Mage’s Men—who do his bidding and his alone. They’ve already been here twice this summer, looking for banned books and forbidden artifacts. Llewellyn himself showed up the last time. He sat in this very room, drinking tea with Daphne, while his men ransacked our library.

Not that they found anything. I’ve known about their ‘raids’ for months. I was prepared. They found nothing untoward and I could see by the curl of Llewellyn’s lip that he realized he’d been had.

No one crosses that line with a Pitch or a Grimm. I’ll be damned if he gets to paw through our legacy. If he gets to rake through the artefacts Natasha’s family has collected for generations.

I think the fuck not.

Merlin above, I sound like Basilton.

“I wouldn’t even consider informing them.” I lean forward and meet Fiona’s eyes. “This is family business and I see no reason to bring them into it.”

Daphne looks pained. She worries.

I think she worries more about Baz than about the other children. Which is understandable, with all that he’s gone through.

She’s got a soft heart that that the whole world can see.

Not me. I hide mine away, under layers of cool competence, an icy demeanor, a steadfast façade of detachment.

My heart’s gone up in open flames once. I don’t dare let that happen again.

“What do you suggest, Malcolm?” Fiona’s glass is empty. Her eyes are narrowed.

“We may have more luck if we work the spell together?” I dart a glance at Daphne. Her lips are a thin line. She knows what I’m going to suggest. “There are some books, as you know, in the library . . .”

Fiona’s on her feet. “Come on then. I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty.”

Fiona

The books are old and fucking useless. Malcolm and I try obscure summoning spells, a few dodgy finding spells, and a banned tracking spell. I’ve incinerated one of Baz’s sweaty socks already and we’re no closer to finding him.

I can see the sky brightening when I look out the library windows. We’ve been at it all night, Daphne bringing us tea and biscuits just a short while ago.

“It’s not use. None of these are working.” I lean back in my chair. Bloody hell, I’m tired.

Malcolm frowns down at the scroll he’s perusing. “It doesn’t make sense. These should work.”

“Unless he’s crossed a body of water.”

He’s tapping his fingers again. “It’s not like him, Fiona.”

“I know.”

Malcolm

The call comes in mid-morning. From Basilton’s mobile.

“Basilton? Where are you?”

A gravelly voice answers me instead. “No questions.”

“Who are you?”

“I said no questions.” The voice rasps back at me, more of a rough growl now. “We’ve got him.”

My blood runs cold.  

“Tell me where he is.”

There’s a low grumble, almost like a laugh. “Not yet.”

And then they ring off.

Bloody hell.

I call his number and it goes directly to voicemail again.

I’m pounding on Fiona’s bedroom door a moment later. She opens up, hair in a tangle on her head, eyes narrowed at me.

“I got a call.”

That snaps her to attention.

“From Baz?”

I shake my head and wave my mobile at her. “It was his number but it wasn’t him. Someone has him.”

The color drains from her face. “What do you mean someone has him? Kidnapped? Is that what you’re saying, Malcolm?”

“They didn’t say much. Told me not to ask any questions and said ‘we’ve got him’ and then rang off.”

“Give me your mobile.”  She snatches if from me before I can hand it over.

“It won’t do any good. I tried to call back and it went straight to voicemail.”

“Really, Malcolm, there are times I despair for you. I don’t know what Natasha was thinking.” She pulls her wand out of her pocket and taps at my screen.

There is no point to having passwords around Fiona. She can open any lock, bypass any privacy PINs, crack any code. It’s just one of the unsavory skills she has.

I’m hoping they all come in useful now.

“Back to the source.” She’s tapping on the received call log, on the recent call from Baz’s mobile. My screen glows momentarily and then goes dim. “Bloody hell.” She taps it again with the same result.

She hands it back, the disgust clear on her face.

“What were you trying to do?”

“Trace the location of the call. To zoom in the location of the mobile itself.” She’s tapping her wand against the doorframe. “It usually works, unless there’s water involved or the network is buggered up.”

“Someone has him, Fiona. They have Baz.”

Our eyes meet. We’ve kept this secret—Daphne, Fiona and I. And . . . one more person but he’s no use to us right now. We’ve kept this between us for thirteen years. For Baz’s sake.

For Baz’s safety.

Anyone who has him in their custody will know. Likely not today. Perhaps not even tomorrow, depending on when he fed last.

But it’s inevitable. He can’t go more than a day or two.

I can see it in her eyes. She knows.

Whoever has him will kill him when they find out.

I close my eyes as a wave of nausea hits me. My knees feel weak. I clutch the doorframe to steady myself.

They have my son. Someone has my son.

Keep it together, Malcolm Grimm. I hear Natasha’s voice in my head but it’s Fiona who’s grabbing my sleeve and shaking me.

“Steady now, Malcolm.”

Fiona

I wish I was as confident as I sound.

Malcolm

The next call comes two days later.

Fiona, Daphne and I have had two sleepless nights, endless pots of tea, a myriad of useless spells.

The children are in bed. Fiona and I are poring over near-incomprehensible, dubious ancient tomes when the call comes in.

I pick up my mobile and put it on speakerphone.

“Malcolm Grimm,” is all I say.

“We’ve got him.” The voice is lower this time, gruffer. Not the same person then.

Fiona leans forward and I slash my hand in the air at her. My message is clear: let me handle this.

She slumps back in her chair, arms crossed, brow furrowed, her glare directed at the mobile resting on the table between us.

“Where is my son?”

“For us to know and you not to find out.”

“What do you want?”

The price they name is surprisingly high but not astronomically out of reach. I’ll have to speak with my brother and make a few calls to the bank but I can handle this.

I’ll pay more if needed.

I’ll sell whatever I have. No reservations.

“When and where?”

Fiona leaps across the table to pick up my mobile. She shakes it and then starts shouting. “Listen, you yammering gobshite, I’ll be damned if I pay one cent to get my nephew back. Do you know who you are dealing with? This is the House of Pitch. We never forgive and we never forget. I’ll flay you alive before I barter with you over my nephew. I’ll burn you at the stake if you touch a single hair on his head. You will regret this with your dying breath, which I hope to hell comes at my hand.”

I wrestle the mobile away from her. “Hello? Hello?”

They’ve rung off, of course.

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing, Fiona? We could have had him back by sundown. What part of let me fucking handle this do you not understand?” I’m shouting.

I don’t think I’ve ever actually shouted at Fiona before.

She’s lucky I’m not strangling her.

“Pitches don’t negotiate, Malcolm. We don’t get blackmailed, we don’t bow to terms, we don’t pay fucking ransoms. We never have and we bloody well never will.”

“This is my son’s life you’re playing with. Natasha’s son.” I don’t think I’ve ever been this furious.

I don’t think I’ve ever been this terrified.

“I know that!” Fiona shouts back. “They know that. They’re after something, Malcolm, that’s clear. There’s no earthly reason anyone would want to kidnap Baz. They want something from you.” “Money,” I thunder. “They want money and I’ve got more than enough to spare.”

“It’s not about the money.” She’s pacing the room now. “This has the stink of the Mage all over it.” She glares at me. “You’ve thwarted him at every turn. You’ve defied him publicly. You’ve scuttled his raids. You’re fomenting rebellion among the Old Families.” “You’re the one inciting the insurrection, Fiona, not me. I’ve washed my hands of that.”

“Then maybe they want something from me.” “Money.” I say again.

“It’s not money. It’s power. Someone has a hold over you now, Malcolm. Over the both of us. Fucking hell. Those arseholes have Baz and they’ve got us over a barrel.”

“So we give them what they want. Baz is more important than any of this.” I walk across the room and grip her by the shoulders. “There’s only so much time, Fiona. Only so much time before they know. All they want is money or power or control right now.” My voice drops. “Once they know what he is, it’s over. We’ll never get him back.”

“They wouldn’t dare, Malcolm. They wouldn’t dare.”

Fiona

Malcolm stopped speaking to me. He has no idea how this sort of thing works. It’s not the first time a Pitch has been kidnapped, although it very well may be the last, seeing as Baz and I are the end of the line. Literally.

Pitches don’t negotiate. We don’t pay ransoms.

We get revenge.

We get the kidnapped person back too.

Except for great-uncle Percival, but no one really wanted him back anyway. The fairies actually sent him back but he had the misfortune to run into a pack of nuckelavees on his way home and that was the end of him.

One nuckelavee would have been enough. Those are right bastards to kill.

Malcolm argued with me for days. “He’s the only living heir to of the House of Pitch!”

“I’m aware!”

“He’s my son, Fiona. He’s the last vestige of Natasha we have left!”

“Natasha would never negotiate. She would never bend her will to another.” My voice was ice. “She scraped the bottom of the barrel when she married a Grimm. Farmers and shepherds, the lot of you. What would you know about pride and dignity?”

“He’s my son!” Malcolm had shouted.

“She would have ended him there and then, Malcolm. She would have ended him herself if she hadn’t been bitten. To keep him from becoming what he is. She would never compromise anything, for anyone. And you know it.”

It took us a week to start speaking to each other again.

One more call came in yesterday, with a sum more astronomical than the first, but the caller didn’t seem too focused on the amount. Tossed it off with a laugh almost.

Wouldn’t give Malcolm a time or a place.

The wanker asked, of course. He’d have paid them off the first time they called, if he’d had it his way.

Which he doesn’t, of course. Baz is a Pitch and this is Pitch business. Full stop.

But I don’t think they’re really in it for the money. There’s some other game afoot. Some other purpose to this.

And they know he’s a fucking vampire. Called him a ‘blood-eater’ the last time they called. Nonchalantly dropped it in the conversation.

I told Malcolm that proves it. They’re not going to hurt Baz. If they know he’s a vampire and they’ve not set him alight, they’re not going to do anything to him at all.

This is all bluster and show. It keeps us occupied when we should be planning the Mage’s demise.

I swear it’s something he’s cooked up, to mess with us when we need our focus most. Keeping us distracted while he masterminds another nefarious scheme to decimate our power, divide our forces, subjugate our will.

Honestly, fuck the Mage.

Malcolm

They called again. I kept them on the line longer this time, with Daphne recording the conversation with her mobile.

Fiona

Numpties. Fucking numpties. It came to me when we were listening to the recording for what must have been the hundredth time. Gravelly voice. Slow and hoarse. Raspy and low. Like rocks scraping against each other. Like the crunch of a gravel road.

“Numpties! How the fuck did Baz get himself kidnapped by fucking numpties?”

Malcolm’s eyes had gleamed. “At least we know who has him.”

“Why numpties?”

“I don’t care about the why, Fiona. All I care about is where.”

“London, then. That’s where to find them.”

Malcolm

Daphne tries to keep my spirits up but the despair has set in. The numpties haven’t called in weeks. Baz’s mobile doesn’t even go to voicemail anymore. Just rings and rings and rings.

The last time they called they didn’t even talk about money. They wanted wands.

Wands. Numpties wanting wands. It’s absurd. They’ve hardly any magic to them. What would they want with wands? It’s not like they could even use them. Or effectively burn them to keep warm.  

It makes me think Fiona’s right. That the numpties are just a front, a subterfuge. Something more sinister is behind this. It makes no sense. Why on earth would they kidnap Baz if they wanted wands? I may have magickal objects in my possession but I don’t have wands just lying about.

Fiona’s gone to London again, to consult with her ‘sources.’ I know who she means. I doubt he will be of any help to us. He’s a turncoat, a traitor. A curse to his family and our kind.

I would pay every single one of the Covent Garden vampires any sum they wish, for information. Even though their kind killed my wife. Even though their savagery has marred my son forever.

I don’t give a damn. I would pay the devil himself if he would give me Baz back.

Fiona

I’ve scoured every place that’s had a hint of numpty to it. Abandoned buildings. The closed off lines of the Underground. The seedy steam baths near the docks.

I don’t know where else to look. I do know who to ask.

It’s been years since I’ve seen Nicky.

I’m desperate.

We’ve not heard from the kidnappers for weeks. Every finding spell I’ve attempted has failed.  

He’s got to be near water or underground. That’s the only thing I can think of, that would confound the spells. Running water, a place deep beneath the ground, a hiding place encased in steel.

The last one makes me shudder.

Malcolm has resorted to some questionable practices. I’d not expected it of him. Grimms don’t usually dabble in the darker magic.

I certainly did not expect him to summon a demon. That was two days ago. I thought Daphne was going to drop dead from the shock when the bastard manifested but she stayed by Malcolm the whole time, chanting the incantation just as he told her to.

Not that it helped. The horned nightmare didn’t tell us much of anything.

I wonder if it’s that much harder to track the undead.

Not that I think Baz is undead. He’s just not as alive as one would prefer, for these kinds of rituals.

So all we have is what I’ve been saying. Near running water. Underground. Possibly a metal barrier.

I’ve berated Malcolm enough. He’s proved far more Pitch than Grimm through this whole fiasco, barring the ransom issue.

I’ve got a fair amount of respect for Malcolm, though I’ll die a thousand painful deaths before I ever tell him that. The way he handled the loss of Tasha, what happened to Baz—what he is, what he’s become. It’s not something for the weak of heart.

I criticize Malcolm for being weak.

He’s not. Not really.

If anything, it’s me that’s is. I know what you would have done, Tasha. I know what you would have told Malcolm to do.

And I think he would have defied you, even if you’d lived.

That helps me do it too. I’ve made different choices than you would, sister.

I think they’re the right ones.

Even the one I’m making now.

I’ll find Nicky. I always do.

And he’ll help.

He always does.

I’ll find the bastards who took your boy and I will bloody end them.

[doc-pickles]

it’s nothing funny just to talk (p.3)

What happens when you text that random number graffitied on a bathroom stall in your favorite bar? Jo Wilson is about to find out. - In which Bar Princess and Doctor Evil Spawn meet via text.

Chapter threeee. What do you think? Any predictions?

Sunday 10:28 AM

oh man

you’re pretty funny

Shhh you’re talking too loud. 

i’m texting you

Well stop it. You’re being too loud. 

okaaaaay i’ll leave you alone

Wait come back… I miss you. 

ahhh the truth comes out 

you do like me

Of course I do, I wouldn’t be texting you if I didn’t. 

well that’s good to know 

i’m assuming your head is pounding?

Very much so. I'm about to chug a gallon of orange juice and pray I don’t die. 

can you sing while you do it?

I don’t sing. 

but you serenaded me last night 

it was an amazing song called “bar princess” 

Oh shit. Really?

yes and then you told me that you couldn’t sing to me because jo would be mad

In my defense it was my buddies bachelor party. 

that excuse didn’t stop you from calling me bar princess

I think i’m gonna name you… doctor rockstar 

Somehow that’s actually worse than Doctor Evil Spawn

it'll grow on you 

hey go check your porch

You didn’t. 

oh but I did

Breakfast and coffee? You’re the best. Thank you. 

it’s my thank you for the donuts yesterday

and for keeping me sane almost everyday

It’s nothing, I enjoy our friendship just as much as you do. 

  Sunday 3:33 PM

What’s with all these sirens in the area? You think someone died?

oh…. that might’ve been me…

WHAT?!

Are you okay?

Jo???

  Sunday 3:45 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Hey it’s Jo! I can’t come to the phone right now but leave me a message and I’ll call ya back!”

  Sunday 3:47 PM

i’m fine gimme a second

You’re freaking me out. 

  Sunday 4:17 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Jo?”

“I’m fine, I‘m fine.”

“What the hell happened?”

“I tried to make lunch and I set something on fire. It’s fine, I just couldn’t contain it.”

“You want me to come help out? I can be there in five minutes.”

“Alex, I’m fine. And I told you, I don’t wanna see you until our date.”

“Oh screw all that. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes! Now stop worrying about me, I’m perfectly fine.”

“Okay I’ll take your word for it, Bar Princess.”

“Good. Now stop freaking out, I can hear you hyperventilating over there.”

“I told you, I don’t want our first meeting to be at your funeral. I’m protecting myself obviously.”

“Right okay. Well I have to go and talk Steph down from killing me. I’ll talk to you soon. And Alex?”

“Yes Jo?”

“Thanks… just for caring about me. I’ve never had anyone who would be that concerned about me setting the fire alarm off. It means a lot. More than you know.”

“Well I like you, a lot. And you mean a lot to me. More than you know. Hey, when are you free next week?”

“I get back on Sunday night so anytime after that.”

“I’m off Wednesday, does that work for you?”

“Absolutely. It’s a date?”

“It is definitely a date. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye.”

“Bye!”

  Monday 9:36 AM

so steph killed me 

almost

  Monday 10:06 AM

You’re texting me so I’m assuming that’s a good sign. 

yeah I started crying and she let me off the hook

You started crying??

well fake crying but yeah

it did the job

You’re full of surprises aren’t you?

only always

I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised when we meet

I hope so. Gotta go yell at interns, catch ya on the flip side. 

the 90s called they want their catchphrase back

  Monday 4:21 PM

pretty sure our AC is broken

i’m sweating like a pig

Oof, not fun. Did you call it in?

yup but they can’t get out till next weekend

i’m in shorts and a tank top I don’t think I can strip more without izzie yelling at me

I wouldn’t complain if you wanted to come and strip for me. 

that was very forward doctor rockstar

at least take me out to dinner first

I’m trying to. Surgeons are busy people. 

it’s okay it’ll be well worth the wait 

and i’m holding you to what you said

I say a lot of things to you, you’ll have to be more specific. 

when you said you’d kiss me as soon as we met

i’ll be waiting for that

I’ll make sure to put chapstick on in the car then. 

you should do stand up comedy 

Once you get to know me you’ll understand how terrible of an idea that is. 

oh shoot

bridezilla just stormed in crying

OH MY GOD SHE GOT A FAKE TAN SHE LOOKS LIKE AN ORANGE 

have to run damage control we’ll talk later 

Lemon juice and a loofah. At least that’s what Meredith is telling me. Good luck. 

  Tuesday 10:28 AM

can you kiss meredith for me

she saved my ass yesterday 

That would be kind of awkward seeing as she’s married. But I’ll pass on your thanks. 

there were so many tears 

it was horrendous

izzie and I stayed up until 2 am washing that stuff off

Jesus Christ. I’m sure you’ll be relieved once this wedding is over and done with. 

four more days!!

i’m excited of course but like… I want this done with

I can’t take much more bridezilla madness

Neither can I. 

you’re not even dealing with it!!

Yeah but I have to hear you dealing with it and it just doesn’t sound fun. I pity you. 

you’re so sweet

Doctor Feel Good

That sounds borderline inappropriate. 

it was 100% inappropriate 

see i’ve flipped the tables 

now i’m trying to seduce you

I applaud your efforts. Giving me a sexy nickname definitely helped your chances.

really??

You asked me to kiss you as soon as we met, I assumed that you would also be putting out on the first date.

W O W

you’re not wrong

BUT WOW

Knew it. I’d love to continue talking about what you’re going to do to me after our first date, but I have a high volume trauma coming in. Probably won’t be around for a few hours.

good luck, keep your wits about you

don’t be a hero, we still have a standing date

Wouldn’t miss it for the world.

  Tuesday 11:38 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Alex?”

“Hey. I hope I didn’t wake you up.” “No… No, I wasn’t sleeping, I was watching a movie. Are you okay?” “Yeah. Yeah I’m fine.” “You don’t sound fine.” “It’s just been a long day… a lot happened.” “Do you wanna talk about it?” “No I… there was a pileup, on the freeway. It was really bad. And there… there was a van full of kids. It’s just been a long day.” “I’m sorry, I can’t imagine how hard it is going through that. What can I do to help?” “Can you… can you just talk to me?” “Of course I can. Oh! I’ll tell you Izzie’s muffin story! That’s a good one.”

“Okay yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.” “So Izzie and her boyfriend had gone through a BAD breakup, I mean monumental. She was so upset and she just started baking…”

  Wednesday 9:59 AM

Incoming Voice Call

“Jesus Christ what time is it?” “It’s 10 AM.” “Alex! I didn’t check the caller ID. Are you okay?” “I’m fine. I’m fine… I’m sorry I woke you up.” “No! It’s okay, you know I love to hear your voice.” “Well that’s a relief, I was worried you were gonna drop me because I keep waking you up.” “You only woke me up once!” “Listen Bar Princess, you may think you’re a good liar but you aren’t. I know I woke you up last night when I called.” “No I-”

“No buts. Thank you for that, I really appreciated it. It’s… it’s hard being in my line of work somedays.” “Well, you’ll always have me to lean on.” “I just need you to know…” “Know what? Oh my god you’re not married are you?” “What? No! Jo… just listen. Can you do that?” “Yes, I can.” “Somedays this job drags me down. It wears me down to my core and it doesn’t make it easier when I’ve got babies and kids on the table. It’s hard and I hate to admit it but I fall apart. I fall apart and I’m messy and I get all dark and twisty sometimes.” “Dark and twisty?” “Meredith says that. But it’s true. I get dark and twisty sometimes and you… last night you pulled me out of that dark and twisty place and I just…” “Just what? You can tell me, Alex.” “I don’t want to rely on you if pulling me out of the dark and twisty place is too much for you to handle. I want… I know I sound crazy and you’re probably freaking out-”

“I’m not freaking out.” “But I want this. You and me and I don’t want to get comfortable if you’re not in. Because I’m in, I’m in Jo. It’s ridiculous and I don’t even know what you look like but I’m in.”

“I’m in. I’m so in, I’m all in and if that makes us crazy then… Then I wanna be crazy with you.”

“Kissing you sounds really good right now.” “Listen, just because I said I’m in this for the long haul doesn’t mean you get to see me before our first date. If anything, this makes things more romantic.” “Okay okay, I’ll listen to you. You better be prepared because this first kiss, it’s gonna be the most epic kiss you’ll ever get.” “I’m waiting in eager anticipation, Doctor Feelgood.”

“It’s feels wrong to like it when you call me that.”

“You’re a real charmer. I would love to keep up the sexy talk, but Bridezilla is here and I’m pretty sure she’s going to rip my head off. Talk later?”

“Don’t we always. Thanks… for hearing me out. And being there. And being you. I can’t wait to kiss you.”

“I can’t wait to kiss you eit-“

“JO GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE BEFORE I DRAG YOU DOWN THE STAIRS.”

“Have fun, call me if you need an alibi.”

  Wednesday 1:18 PM

had to hide in the bathroom 

the living room is covered in glitter 

Aren’t you used to that? Being a teacher and all?

ohhhhhh no 

i have banned the use of glitter in my house and classroom

i’m not a monster

Oh glad to know you have your wits about you. 

of course i do

my only slipup ever has been the time i drunk texted that phone number that was graffitied in a bar bathroom

oh wait

Hahaha very funny. By the way, I thanked Cristina profusely and even bought her a coffee.

what are we thanking cristina for? For putting my phone number up in the bathroom. I might need you to go and scratch it out though. I don’t need any other drunk teachers at bachelorette parties texting me, I’ve met my quota. 

well that was oddly touching

you’re a big softy aren’t you doctor evil spawn

I’m a pediatric surgeon, I think that tells you everything you need to know.

you’re making some very good points here

oh shit she found me

i’ll be back (hopefully)

I have a bone to pick with bridezilla. She keeps taking my texting buddy away.

  Wednesday 6:06 PM

good god i’m gonna die before we get to this wedding

i just had to pack chocolate almonds into tiny little bags and tie them with bows

WHO HAS CHOCOLATE ALMONDS ANYMORE IT’S NOT 1985

You seem to have a lot of strong feelings about almonds.

i can't feel my fingers

If you can’t feel your fingers how are you texting me? i’m making siri do it for me while i lay on the floor drinking wine

I’m so proud of you. I’m on NICU overnight duty, so I have to stay awake and I’m bored. 

shouldn’t you be like… taking care of the babies? Oh these kids are fighters. I just gotta make sure they don’t rip off their tubes.

well it seems like you have an easy night

Until I die of boredom or hunger. Whichever one happens first.

i’m pretty sure you’re the doctor here so you know that won’t happen

Wow, you really pulled the doctor card on me huh? of course i did, it’s like you don’t even know me

You’re right I should’ve expected that. Gotta do rounds, I’ll text you in a bit.

  Wednesday 8:28 PM

I’m pretty sure it was my turn to bring you food, not the other way around.

i sent the egg rolls and chow mein! 

apparently you’re a regular because the guy at the restaurant suggested everything else and offered to deliver it to you

Thank you, you did kind of save my night. This chicken chow mein is amazing.

it’s my favorite

just like you :) Now who’s the softy? i’m a fourth grade teacher, i think that tells you everything you need to know

Touche. Okay now I really have to go be a doctor. Thank you again for dinner, one more week until we get to see each other.

the happy dance i just did was embarrassing, that’s how excited i am

  Thursday 10:28 AM

if I never have to participate in another wedding it’ll be too soon

i’m so exhausted I wish I was in a room filled with fourth graders instead of here

Don’t you wanna get married someday?

if I ever get married i’m going to the courthouse and getting pizza after

that’s my dream wedding

At least you don’t wanna spend 10k on a couple hours of celebrating. Pizza is as good a celebration as any in my book. 

exactly you get it 

pizza and beer trumps uncomfy dress and socializing with people any day

What’s bridezilla got you doing today?

making table numbers and centerpieces today

then we drive up tomorrow night

then I get shit faced at the open bar

At least you know what your agenda is. 

that’s always my wedding agenda 

hopefully I won’t puke on my shoes this time

That would be a funny wedding story though, good for small talk. 

you’re right maybe I should peueowownspdjd

Did you have a stroke? 

Jo???

Jo’s phone has been confiscated so she can focus all of her attention on helping with wedding preparations. She’ll get it back later today. Sincerely, Bridezilla 

  Thursday 4:17 PM

Incoming Phone Call

“I have to call my mom, I’ll be right back!”

“Jo that excuse doesn’t work, we all know you don’t have a mom!”

“So now you’re lying to talk to me?”

“Hey you saw what Bridezilla did earlier! I had to run out the door while she went pee so she wouldn’t catch me.”

“You’re willing to risk death for me? You really do care.”

“I love her but she’s suffocating me and all I want is to get drunk and possibly make out with you.”

“Mmm should I come by and rescue you?”

“No! No, I really wanna make out with you but I wanna wait. Just six more days.”

“Six days. I promise there will be beer and pizza and lots of kissing.”

“Good. That’s the only thing getting me through this weekend. I gotta go back, but I’ll text you as soon as I can.”

“I’ll be relentlessly staring at my phone until my friends make fun of me or you text, whatever happens first. Bye Jo.”

“Bye Alex.”

  Thursday 8:33 PM

good god I finally got her to leave

only because I reminded her we have a bunch of shit to do tomorrow

I need a drink

Take a shot of Fireball for me. I’m on my final overnight shift before my weekend vacation. 

done, one for me and one for you

Jesus woman you’re unstoppable. 

well I do try to be a borderline alcoholic in my day to day life

(that was sarcasm)

You’re hilarious. And my favorite person to talk to. 

right back at ya doctor feel good

I gotta sleep, i’m tired as hell and were leaving early tomorrow 

Sleep well, I’ll talk to you tomorrow Bar Princess. 

goodniiiiiiight

  Friday 9:47 AM

Incoming Phone Call

“Mmm hello?”

“Hi it’s me, I’m sorry it’s so early, I know you probably haven’t slept much.”

“S’okay, you know I like hearing your voice.”

“I just wanted to say bye. I mean not forever, but the wedding is gonna keep me busy all weekend and I don’t even know if we’ll have service. So this’ll be the longest we’ve gone without talking.”

“You’re rambling, Jo.”

“I know, I know. I just… I’m gonna miss talking to you at all hours of the day. Especially when You Know Who gets all psycho.”

“Mmm well I’ll see you on Wednesday right? That’s…”

“Five days.”

“Exactly. Five days away. Not that long.”

“I know.”

“You already said that. Are you attached to my lingering presence?”

“Maybe, maybe not. I gotta go, Steph is about to leave without me. But you should check your doorstep.”

“Damn it Jo, it’s my turn not yours. Thank you anyways though, I always love that you think of me.”

“Only all the time. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye Alex.”

“Goodbye Jo.”

[calpalirwin]

Endless Endings

Summary: Calum goes home for a funeral. He isn’t prepared for the feelings and memories that come with it.

A/N: I was watching This Is Us and Kevin and Sophie’s relationship gave me the feels (I will fix the formatting/add this to my masterlist in the morning, I just want to get this up cuz I’m excited!) Italics are flashbacks/memories

Content: Darker than my usual stuff

Word Count: 1.9K

And away, and away we go!

~~~

When he saw the caller ID, he was answering it before his ringtone could even kick in. “Zo? Hey, how’s everything?” Calum talked into the phone.

“Hey, Cal,” was the tearful reply.

“Zo, what happened?”

“She died, Cal. My mom. She’s gone.”

The phone clattered to the floor. Calum’s head felt like it was underwater, the worried voices of his bandmates sounding muddled as they tried to reach him. No. Claire Harper couldn’t be dead. Zoey!

His brain snapped back into enough focus for him up the phone, ignoring the jagged crack in the screen. “Hey, I got one for you,” his voice was telling her, his ears still ringing.

“What?” she asked, holding back the next sob.

“He starts an apple cider company. Calls it ‘How do you like them apples?’.”

Her laugh wasn’t the laugh he remembered. It was choked. “Thank you, Cal.”

“Anytime, Zo.”

The voices around him were still muddled as he hung up the phone. “Zo? Zoey Harper? From home? Cal, is she okay?”

“I gotta go home,” was all Calum replied with before walking out of the studio.

~~~

“Hey!” the girl scolded the boy and his stirred up cloud of sand from his jump off the swingset.

“Sorry!” the boy grinned, showing off a missing tooth.

“Watch it,” she continued to growl.

“I said I was sorry!” he told her, crossing his arms, his smile disappearing.

“Ooo!” another boy snickered. “Cal likes Zoey! Cal likes Zoey! Cal and Zoey, sitting in a tree!”

“Shut up!” they both shouted at the other boy before they looked at each other and shared a look of disgust complete with a “Yuck!” and fake gagging.

Calum smiled to himself as he stared out the plane window. It was amazing how easily the memories came back to him. A lifetime of him and Zoey Harper- his first, and only love.

~~~

“And now, Claire’s daughter would like to say a few words,” the pastor said and a young blonde in a sleek black dress moved to the podium.

Her striking green eyes were red around the edges as they scanned the room. A small smile curved on her lips when green met brown. “My mother and I didn’t always see eye to eye. Maybe that’s not something I should say at her funeral, but it’s the truth. She was reckless in everything she did. And as much as it drove me nuts, it also encouraged me to take my own risks. And, uh…” Zoey paused to collect her thoughts, and in the back, Calum let his run wild.

“Oh, Cal, that’s great!” Claire cheered, wrapping him tightly in a hug. “Isn’t that great, Zo? London! Wow!”

“Yeah, great,” Zoey forced a smile. She wanted to be happy for Calum and his band. But how could she when her boyfriend was dropping a bomb like dropping out of school and moving to fucking London?

“Zo,” both Calum and Claire said, frowning.

Zoey scraped her chair back, striding out of the room.

“Zo!” Calum called after her.

“I need a minute!” she yelled and the slamming door rattled the windows.

Calum sighed, letting her go, figuring he might as well start practicing now.

“Hey,” Claire said, reaching across the table to grip his hands in hers. “Don’t let the fear of what’s to come diminish the greatness of this moment, Cal. Allow yourself to be happy in the most unfiltered way. Shout your joy from the rooftops. You boys have worked hard. This is your moment. Never settle.”

“‘Great things happen when you chase after what you want.’ It was like her catchphrase. It’s what she told me when I finally moved to New York and got that dream apartment. She came to visit and we went out for coffee. This real small hole-in-the-wall place. We would always go when she came out or I would send her a bag of their home roast. I was actually… I was in that shop trying to buy a bag. I was giving the clerk hell for not having their home roast. Funny how quickly priorities change with a phone call. God, I owe that clerk an apology,” Zoey’s voice broke off in a small giggle. “I’m gonna miss you, Mom.”

~~~

The bell on the door jangled as he walked in the doughnut shop.

Calum’s laugh rang out around them as she swallowed her bite. “What?” she asked, self-consciously. “Do I have something on my face?”

He continued to snicker in his hand, “Geez, Zo, it’s everywhere!”

“Have you seen your own face?”

“What are you talking about? I do- Zo!” he gasped as her finger swiped the chocolate frosting off his doughnut and smeared it across his cheek.

“Hah!” she laughed at him. Then she was squealing as he rubbed his cheek against her face, creating a powdered sugar chocolatey mess, their giggles filling the small shop. “You’re crazy,” she told him, her cheeks pink with laughter.

“Crazy in love with you,” he replied, pecking her lips with his.

“And I’m just as crazy,” she smiled against his lips.

“What can I get for you, today, sir?” the teenager behind the counter asked.

“One powdered and one chocolate, please,” Calum said. “Actually, two chocolate, please,” he amended as his stomach growled.

~~~

She had a forced smile on her face as she was engaged in a conversation with someone, her eyes begging to be rescued. Calum leaned against the car, not wanting to go inside, feeling so out of place outside somewhere he once considered a home. He dug his phone out of his pocket, watching her as the line rang on his end. Her eyes glanced down at the phone in her own hand, her smile becoming a little more genuine as she answered. “Hey, Cal.” Her voice was heavy and Calum knew instantly that Zoey hadn’t been sleeping for God knows how long.

“Hey. So I was driving and I passed by that doughnut shop we used to frequent. And uh… well, I got one with your name on it. I’m out front.”

Her eyes glanced up and locked on him through the window. She put a hand over the speaker and excused herself from her conversation, walking out of Calum’s view. “Get me out of here,” her voice was saying and then she was in front of him, grabbing the doughnut back from him and sliding into the passenger seat.

~~~

“Hey, I got one for ya,” she said, breaking the silence as they ate their doughnuts, powdered sugar coating her mouth and dress.

“Shoot.”

“He goes to Alaska to become a fisherman in an isolated village and never talks to another soul.”

“Damn, that’s dark,” Calum giggled, handing her a napkin. “Seriously, do you even aim for your mouth when you eat?”

She giggled with him as she dusted off her lap. The giggle turned into a sigh. “I can’t believe you came. I feel like I’m underwater. Like my body is on auto-pilot, while my brain is a million miles away. Seeing you again, well, it grounded me. You’re the only one who gets it Cal. You’re the only one I can let my guard down with.”

“Isn’t that what your fiancé’s for?” he asked with a pointed glance to the ring on her finger.

“He didn’t know her like you did. And now he never will.” Her eyes stared out the window. “Oh, wow,” she breathed, realizing where they were. “I haven’t been here in forever.”

“Me neither,” he admitted, putting the car in park. “Every time I come home, I can never bring myself to come here. I had my best and worst night of my life here.”

“On the same fuckin night,” she recalled.

“On the same fuckin night,” he agreed.

Every summer the park held a Movies in the Park night, showing everything from old-time classics to current blockbusters. Neither of them had seen Good Will Hunting, but had always wanted to. So there they sat, curled up under a blanket and the stars, eyes glued to the large projector screen.

“Aw!” the audience let out a collective groan as the projector sputtered and the screen went black.

“Sorry about this folks! Please help yourself to the concession stand we have set up, free of charge, and we’ll try to get this up and running again shortly,” a volunteer announced.

Calum and Zoey turned to each other, sharing a grin. “Free snacks!” they shouted in each other’s faces before scrambling to snag free popcorn.

“Hmm, looks like they fixed it,” Calum said as they swung side by side. “Should we go back?”

“Nah,” Zoey replied with a shake of her head. “Where it stopped was actually perfect. No ending could be better than that.”

“We could make up our own,” Calum suggested.

“We could!” she exclaimed, loving the idea. “Promise me we’ll never watch the real ending.”

“Promise,” he swore.

So back and forth they went, creating their own endings, long after the real movie had ended and long after the popcorn disappeared. They would have stayed all night and into the morning had it not been for Mali striding towards them, tears running down her face.

“Mali?” Calum asked, his voice laced with worry as his sister looked about a millisecond away from a breakdown. “Mali, what’s wrong?!”

In the dim lighting from a nearby streetlamp, Zoey could see the darkening of his already dark eyes and the clench of his fists as worry gave way to anger that someone had hurt his sister. “Dad’s gone, Cal,” was the broken answer. “Him and Mum got in another fight and he’s… he’s gone!” With the confession off her lips, the older sibling collapsed into the younger one’s arms as they both began to sob over their parents’ broken marriage.

~~~

“Did you ever watch the ending?” she asked as they swung side by side.

Calum shook his head. “Nah. That was probably the only thing I ever did right.”

“Cal, don’t say that…”

“It’s the truth. I had everything that night and then I lost it all before sunrise.”

“Cal, you didn’t lose anything. Yes, your parents split and I know how hard that was for you. But you weren’t running away. You went off to London because you chased a dream. A dream that paid off rather fuckin’ well, by the way.”

“And you?”

“You didn’t lose me either Cal. We just weren’t meant to be.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love a girl the way I loved you…”

“Then love her differently. Love her better.”

“Are you happy? With the endings we created?”

“Are you?” she challenged, knowing he didn’t mean the movie.

He chuckled and pulled out his phone. “Wanna see the real ending?”

“Sure.”

They sat, side by side, the warm sun on their faces, and watched the ending of a movie they swore never to watch the ending of. And it was better than all the endings they could have ever imagined on their own. But still, they both felt a finality to it all, and when Calum dropped her off back home, he wondered if he was better off with his endless imagined endings than the real one.

~~~

Tag List

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