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the-anime-enthusiast · 8 months ago

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As per request of @tired-jaz here's some dabi fluff for the touya fans 😈 This is purely fluff but here's a lil quick disclaimer ⚠️ jaz this isn't totally what you asked for but Its still fluff and got some pretty sweet stuff in it 😭(pun intended) HOPE YALL ENJOY‼️

NOT AS SWEET

AS YOU (dabi x reader)

DAY ONE ☎️

"3 months, THREE WHOLE MONTHS NAKI. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I havent felt the touch of aan, MY MAN, in three whole months", you scream into the phone, not caring the damage youve dealt to your sisters eardrums.

"Y/N" she screams back.

"Yes..." you retorted sheepishly with a slight ansgt.

"Isnt he coming bacm in like what? 3 DAYS?? I hate to break it to you gurl, BUT PLEASE, calm down, I get it but he'll be there soon."

"BUT"

"NO. NO BUTS. What happened to the logical and rational you i know? The one dabi fell in love with? Youll have him all to yourself in no time. I know its hard, especially cause you haven't been able to talk to him either, but honey please. Hell be there alright. ALRIGHT?"

you sigh, "I'll calm down. You're right I guess, don't wanna embarrass myself in front of him after 3 months..." you breathe out staring at your feet face reddening at the thought of your desperate actions. "I just miss him, a lot."

"Y/n...I get it, i really do, and i hate to do this right now, but i have to go, if you need anything youll tell me right?"

"Yeah yeah you know I will", you respond rolling your eyes simultaneously.

"REMEMBER" the sudden loud tone sending you to jump up, "3 DAYS THEN HES ALL YOURS. BYE BYE!" she acreams ending the call with a kissy sound.

Your hand drops down, looking at the caller ID

"I know" you wisper to yourself.

DAY TWO 💤

Grogginess? She practically your bestfriend you think rolling over to the other aide of your bed, arm slewn over your back orher cupping the side of the pillow youve found yourself clutching for dear life to the past couple of months.

"Dabi..." you whisper, eyes squeezing shut trying to imagine his face again as you bury your face into the pillow

"please come home" is the last thing your pillow hears before you pass out on top of it wishing it was him you were on top of instead.

Nothing could quite distract you from his absence like sleeping your life away.

DAY THREE 🍰

Anxiety was eating you alive like you were the twilight saga and a book worm was having a feild day.

"Nothing has changed between us right?" you thought. "Right?" you repeat to yourself, a sickening smile creeping on your face with tears pricked in the corners of your eyes.

"NO" you yell sitting up to hang of your bed.

"I WILL NOT BE SAD. I REFUSE. ONE MORE DAY

"Y/N. YOU GOT THIS! I GOT THIS? I GOT THIS." you chant storming to your kitchen. Given the ungodly amount of sleep you got yesterday, you hadnt eaten barely anything but leftover cookies and some milk.

"OH. MY. GOD." you aggravatingly sighed out

"I'M SO DAMN HUNGRY" followed by a whine as the refridgerator swining open, and then the realization hit you, you wouldn't be surprised if dust and a moth flew out with the door.

"DAMN INGREDIENT HOUSEHOLD WHAT THE HELL" you yell falling to your knees while slamming the fridge shut, followed by a bang on the door with your fist.

Your head soon met the door as well with your begging you from 2 weeks ago to stop the decision of purely doordashing food to your front door while dabi was gone, leaving you broke as hell. Checking your bank account wasn't any better than the fridge, but in optimism you tell yourself, if theres one thing an ingredient household will get you, its crazy amazing dessert recipes made out of practically thin air.

-skip to later that night-

"Holy shit-" you breathe out

"Holy fucking shit, so. much. dessert. So many... everything?" you question scanning your kitchen surroundings, brownies, cookies, Tres Leches, cookie dough, instant jello, popsicles?

"How in the actual hell...did i make...popsicles..."

you whisper before collapsing of exhaustion.

Slowly picking up your phone to check the time, you read 2:45 a.m.

Following is a look of worry, exhaustion, and confusion as you pass out on the kitchen floor.

DAY FOUR - DABI'S COMING HOME

My keys slowy make their way into the key hole, first sturggling due to my franticness to see her. My girl.

"y/n" I whisper out getting frustrated that the key keeps getting stuck.

"Dammit!' i whisper yell as the door finnalg flys open crashing against the wall behind it.

"What the hell? Why does it smell like...HUH?"

He screeches feasting his eyes on the copious piles of desserts covering every kitchen surface.

"What the hell..." he whispers, barely taking the time to notice you crashed out on the kitchen floor.

"Y/n..." he whispers leaning down to you, a look of pity and concern stretching across his otherwise emotionless face.

"baby..." is the last thing he says before reaching behind your neck and waist to hoist you up into his arms.

A feeling of warmth overcomes your body, a feeling of comfort, one you cant quit explain while wrapped up in your Candy Land like dream, one where you of all people were a diety of dessert. Slowly coming back to consciousness you hear the words of your lover...

"baby" you feel whispered against your ear, the familar voice sending shocks through your body.

No matter the lack of sleep and energy spent on your Master Chef Desserts you shot up clinging to dabi like it was the last time.

"DABI" you screeched into his ear as he pulls you in closer.

He presses a kiss to your ear, "hey princess, missed you baby" he says pressing a second one right after the other.

The feeling practically melts you, nothing beats some sweet love from your lover, especially the physical lind.

"Dabi" you sigh

"Yes princess?"

"Kiss me again?"

"Hm?"

You grab his collar pulling his face for his eyes to look into yours.

"KISS ME" you growl locking his eyes with yours noticing the sly smirk spreading across his beautiful face.

"Alright alright, i heard you the first time" he chuckles cupping your cheek and pulling your waist flush against his stomach.

"Since you ask so nicely..." he teases bringing your face close to his.

You can't explain it, maybe its the lack of him you've experienced the past three months or his overall deamenor but its like you cant think anymore. Everythings fuzzy, your nose filled with the smell of the previously baked sweets mixed with the ash and cigarette smell on his collar. You lose complete control melting into his hands, making him work to keep your body up as his lips meet yours. You make note of the gentleness he's displaying, something not often seen, even behind closed doors. It doesn't feel like hes going to give you the night of your life, or like hes about to do whataver he wants to you, he feels like he's about to hold you until the sun comes up, bury his head in your neck, lay you on his chest kissing your head, whispering sweet nothings like

"you're so beautiful baby..."

"i missed you so much" followed by his nose burrowing in your hair.

'you miss me too pretty girl?"

maybe a

"Im here its alright princess..."

or maybe

"you need anything baby?"

its almost out of charcter for him, but somethings changed, the way he holds you, something happened. He holds you now like hes actaully scared to lose you. His kiss isn't filled with lust, but love, pure innocent love, one you've never felt, you think leaning more into the kiss slowly making your backs way down to the floor.

His lips press deeper into yours, never wanting to leave but nevertheless he pulls away leaning over your frozen body beneath him.

"Baby" he whispers moving your face so his eyes meet his, given you were hiding it out of embarrassment.

"Yes..." you wisper back peering up into his beautiful eyes, taking note of the difference in his stare. He holds there for awhile, staring into your eyes, searching in them like he'll find something, still holding your face lovingly.

Your left hand comes to meet his hand on your face cupping over it shooting him a small smile.

"Dabi? "

"Hm?" he hums back seeming to come back to reality.

"S-sorry" he stutters a bit, a like shade of pink running across his cheecks.

Your smile never leaves as you bring your other hand up to meet his face, pulling it down to your head to rest his forehead against yours.

"I love you" you whisper.

"Hm..." he hums with a slight chuckle sending a look of horror to your face. His laugh grows as he puts more pressure against your foreheads.

"I'm just teasing baby" he says moving his mouth to kiss your forehead as he pulls you up to sit with him, pulling his hand of your cheek to allow more balance on the way up.

"Just teasing" he repeats moving to kiss your cheek allowing another small smile to come up on your face as his hand meets your face again. He follows with small kisses peppering across your cheeks, forehead, nose, jaw line, and even some daring to your neck. All that's heard throughout your shared apartment is small giggles and the sound of his lips coming off of your skin.

"Hey princess" he says looking for some focus as he comes up to cup both your cheeks.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

Your face goes an ungodly red.

"Hm?" you question, face blank, leaving him to chuckle to himself.

"I love you baby" he repeats giving you a warm smile leaning his forhead bacm against yours.

"I..." you smile back... "I love you too dabi" you whisper allowing his lips to come back to yours for one final kiss before your mouths are otherwise occupied scarfing down the pile of treats waiting for you on the counter.

"Pretty sweet huh?" you tease bumping your hips into his.

"Not as sweet as you baby" he replies a sweet smile spreading on both your faces as you match each other's gaze.

#mha #dabi x reader fluff #dabi x reader #mha dabi #bnha dabi #requestandrespond #angst with a happy ending #request #fanfiction #ff #dabi dabi pls just one chance dabi #i can fix him #i will fix him

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alienaiver · 7 months ago

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Behind the scenes

the lovely @dira333 tagged me in this and its sooo fun!! the questions are so amazing and id like to give it my best with some in depth answers, since learning these facts about one of my favorite writers here was so fun !!!!! behind the scenes of writing is so good to share!!

Started writing: i think ive always been writing. i remember when we used to have one computer for the entire family in the early 00's and had little screentime, i set alarms to 4-5am (with no concept of what that Would Do To Me emotionally without sleep LMAO) JUST to get some time to write in peace. my first fanfictions i published was on a homemade forum page with a friend when i was 11!

Started blogging: ive had my tumblr since 2009-ish where ive been a rp'er over multiple times and published d gray man and no. 6 fanfictions in 2011-12ish. i was also active on livejournal before i found fanfiction.net !! but this specific blog was made in may 2021!!! the reader inserts came then :3

Followers: i actually JUST hit 300 two days ago!!! which is very exciting. i dont always look at the number, since it doesnt necessarily correlate with engangement, but its fun to see the uptick!!

Communication: i genuinely love love LOVE the social part of social media, and communications so important to me. theres nothing better than reblogs with comments you can bounce off of, asks, dm's and all that! sadly, my disability makes it so hard for me to have continuous contact and im 90% of the time the one to drop the ball when it comes to replying :(( thats why its extra important to me/special with the mutuals who keeps reaching out and dont have the same social expectations about replying. even if im unable to reply the day that i receive the message, it still brings great joy seeing the notif!

Likes: i dont mind them! generally its not that important to me whether or not my followers interact a lot. a like still means the world to me. of course a reblog is much better and engages so much more (+ boosts me!!), but theyre good for my soul, too!

Requests: i get very few requests :( i think i like them, but i havent gotten enough to actually get a feel on whether or not it kills my writing spirit? generally i get very excited to be able to deliver something and it gets me up from the bed to write, but i sometimes fear im not providing what they wanted! its anxiety-inducing in some ways, but i love a good little writing challenge !!

Writing: i loove love love love writing for hours at a time, hyperfixating on it. sadly, my cat snøfle is Very Jealous of both my laptop and pc. giving him a substitution sadly doesnt help</3 so my writing is often limited to specific times of day, and when he gets tired of my keyboard clack-clack-clacking, its time to put on some one piece while he naps on me! i wish i could write more works or just scenes on my phone, but it hurts my hands So Much, so i only write small one shots when im heavily inspired but snøfles in A Mood!!

genre wise im a fluffy type. maybe some hurt/comfort but always leaning towards comfort. id like to write more disability fics to spread both awareness and visibility, but i sometimes struggle with putting in my own disabilities and not make them too personal or too detailed for others to not relate. its an overthinking problem, so i often procrastinate writing them., bcos i fear itll be too niche! but i always get positive feedback (excpet for that one time with inked coffee lmao) so im not sure whats holding me back!!!

i always listen to music when i write, and it differs a lot. when i wrote the star and the earth i listened to a lot of medieval-inspired music, and made a specific playlist for that. but when i write on my modern au's or canon compliant bnha/haikyuu, anything goes!

i love putting in 'boring' every day stuff into my fics, or small scenes that dont necessarily advance the plot but just gives a feel of the characters.

speaking of snøfle ^ i am no longer allowed to write for the evening.... so ill start some apothecary diaries and enjoy a cold soda on this hot and humid evening !!! mwuah mwuah if u read this far thank you, and i love you. i love all of you <3333

no pressure tags as always but would love to hear the answers and get to know u all! @cup-of-fluff @true-deru @mirandabarma @illuminiscentboba @tetsuskei @threadbaresweater @krystalgaia @petriquors @ktsumu @moonbeamwritings @ohtokki

#tag games #waaah genuinely this made me so excited. i love talking about writing. can never shut up #wanna hear yalls thoughts and answers too but always remember theres no pressure if these are too personal 1!! its okay to skip any if you #want!!! <3333 smooching u¨

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f4y3w00d5 · 9 months ago

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And to finish up for the night here is my brief description of Every Song in Danger Days: True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys, by My Chemical Romance

Okay so basically this is their most recent album, 2014, and it follows the Killjoys as they fight against BL.IND (Better Living Industries) who seek to ELIMINATE all individuality. (Spoiler: They die saving The Girl in the music video for SING)

Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) -

Upbeat!!! Dancing!!! Fast!!! You jump around screaming about doing crime and partying and sex!!! I love it!!! (you should listen to it after Look Alive Sunshine, which is the intro to the album and its just Dr D speaking, and at the start of Na Na Na, it goes ‘THE FUTURE IS BULLETPROOF! THE AFTERMATH IS SECONDARY!! TIME TO DO IT NOW AND DO IT LOUD! KILLJOYS, MAKE SOME NOISE!!!’)

Bulletproof Heart

Uh so this is sorta less fast and stuff but its SO cool and idk how to describe it but its sorta jaunty? First song I listened to by the band!!! (Fav part is ‘and tho, I know, how much you hate this. Are you gonna be the one to save us? From. The black. And hope-less feelin. Will you meet ‘em when the end comes reelin? Hold, your heart, into this darkness. Will it ever be the light to shine you out? Or fail. And leave you stranded? I aint gonna be the one left standin. You aint gonna be the one left standin, and we aint gonna be the ones left standin!!!’)

SING

Aaaaaaaaa this ones so cool, took a bit to grow on me, its mostly slow and repetitive but the BRIDGE ‘Cleaned up corporations PROGRESS! Dyin in the PROCESS! Children that can TALK ABOUT IT livin on the WEB-WAYS, people movin SIDEWAYS, sell it til your LAST DAYS, buy yourself the motivation GENERATION NOTHIN! Nothing but a DEAD SCENE! Product of a WHITE DREAM! I am not the SINGER THAT YOU WANTED BUT A DANCER! I REFUSE TO ANSWER! TALK ABOUT THE PAST SIR! WROTE IT FOR THE ONES WHO WANNA GET AWAY! ……. Keep runnin.’

Planetary (GO!)

Okay so like omg. I love this one. Everythings amazin. Starts off slightly slow, and then starts movin faster around the verses? AND THE VIBES!!! Ive got a few favs and ill save them here (I love the way theyre said too-) ‘Ladies and gentleman, truth is now acceptable! Fame! Is now injectable, PROCESS THE PROGRESS, This core is critical, faith is un-a-vail-a-ble, Lives, become incredible-‘ and also ‘Youre unbelievable, ah, so unbelievable, ah, you ruin everything, oh, you better GO HOME! Im unbelievable yeah, im undefeatable yeah, LETS RUIN EVERYTHIN, BLAST IT TO THE BACK ROW- they sell presentable, young! And so ingestible! Sterile and collectable! SAFE, and I cant STAND THAT! This is a letter, by word, is the beretta, the sound, of my vendetta against, the ones that PLANNED IT!’ So uhhhhhhhhh yeah lol

The Only Hope For Me Is You

Likeeeeeeeee holy SHIT this one just sorta- idkkkk- ‘Where? Where were you when, all of the embers fell? I still remember them… covered in ash. Covered in glass. Covered in all my friends, I still… think of the bombs they built- IF THERES A PLACEEE THAT I COULD BE, THEN ID BE ANOTHERR MEMORY, CAN I BE THE ONLY HOPE FOR YOU? BECAUSE YOURE THE ONLY HOPE FOR ME! AND IF WE CAN FIND WHERE WE BELONG, WE’ll Have To make It on our own!! Face all the painnn and takeee it on, because the only hope for me, is you alone…’ its one of the slower ones tho

Party Poison

This one starts in Japanese for some reason??? Its hard to explain… another fast and dancy type one ig, but sorta raw-er? Its sooooooo weird- not one of my favs but its semi popular

Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back

Okay so idk how to describe this really- sorta gives Only Hope type thing but faster and sorta rockier? Idk. My fav parts tho!!! ‘Get offfff the ledge, and drop the knife… Not a victim of a victims life! Because… this aint a room fullla suicides- WE’RE BELIEVERSS I BELIEVE TONIGHT-‘ OH AND ONE OF THE MORE POPULAR LINES PEOPLE KNOW ‘Ill tell you well how the story ends, where the good guys die and the bad guys win… (WHO CARES?)- THIS AINT ABOUT ALL THE FRIENDS YOU MADE, BUT THE GRAFFITII THEY WRITE ON YOUR GRAVE-‘ then the last two ‘Im the only friend that makes you cry! Youre a heart attack in black hair dye! So just save yourself, and Ill hold them back tonight….’ And ‘We can live forever if you’ve got the time- YOU MOTHERFUCKER (OHHHWHOAAAA) Youre the broken glass in the mornin light! Be a burnin’ star if it takes all night!’

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

OHOHOH APPARENTLY THIS ONE IS TO SOOTHE THE KIDS WHEN THE NUCLEAR BOMBS HIT AND GET THEM INTO THE SHELTER!!! (yes there are nuclear bombs, its post apocalyptic lmao) I love the bridge- ‘Love, love, love wont stop this bomb, bomb, love wont stop this bomb, bomb, love wont stop this… bomb……. Run, run, bunny, run. Run, run, bunny ruuuuuuuuuuun’ One of the slowest in the album also

Summertime

Okay so this is prolly my fav? Idk how to describe it tbh….. I know what it describes for me buuuut you don’t wanna hear me be weird about people……. Ill just tell you my fav parts (that I relate to!!!) ‘Terrified of what I’d be, as a kid from what Ive seen… Every single day when people try and put the pieces back together, just to smash them down… turn my headphones up real loud…. I don’t think I need them now…. Cos you stop the noise!!!’

DESTROYA

………………fucked up robot song where you scream and moan. What else is there to say? (the porn bots In the story worship a ‘god’ called Destroya who will supposedly come save them)

The Kids From Yesterday

I love this one too. Sorta slow ig. Nostalgic maybe? ‘Well now, this could be the last of all the rides we take…. So hold on tight and don’t look back……… we don’t care about the message or the rules they make…. Ill find you when the sun goes black…..’

Vampire Money

Dance!!! Sex!! Upbeat!!! Fast!!! ‘Three two one, we came to FUCK-‘ and my other fav line ‘and get your finger on the trigger tap the barrel of the gun! Hair back, motherfucker, jet black, SO COOL-‘

@terrencetheshark14 you might be interested in my weird ass mcr related ramblings

#danger days #danger days: true lives of the fabulous killjoys #mcr

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icyberrydoesthat · 3 months ago

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reasons why i think my parents pissed off a fairy before i was born (why i think im cursed)

cursed pieces of media always seem to find me

im not exaggerating when i say ive seen more than my fair share of fucked up stuff. it always seems to land on my cellular device or my piece of paper. ill be simply enjoying a show or consuming a book as one does and the most heinous thing will happen and ill be expected to just carry on. and now i do just that, i keep calm and carry on. more specifically theres one topic that seems to pop up a lot (tw!!) incest.....now now you may be thinking "what!? incest....id drop whatever it was and go reconnect with nature...weirdo" now now lets not jump to conclusions, 9/10 that movie/book/manga/whatever is actually really good (the other 1/10 lands you in therapy) and the incest or whatever never progresses the plot at all, but is a big enough plotwist to give me whiplash. and dont you worry, ive got an example. last year, i needed a book so i went to my schools library with a friend. about 10 mins of searching resulted in no book i felt inclined to read....until my friend gasps, a book in her hands..."Shadowhunters"?? i had never heard of it but apparently it was a big part of her childhood, something that soothed the gaping hole Twilight left...okay ill read i said. reading the first few chapters was great, i could practically smell an enemies to lovers and the big mystery of who and where mc's brother is was lingering in the back, my type of book i thought happily. little did i know....mc and ml were infact revealed to be siblings......i dropped my book. i had already thought it was weird that ml's adoptive brother had a crush on him but that gets crushed quick and now this...? now you may be thinking isnt it illegal or sum to promote incest..? and yes u are right, so you can imagine my deep sense of relief i felt when mc and ml were infact not related... because i didnt know how much more i could take of the ml yearning for his literal sister..(he was relentless...). but it doesnt stop there, for all you sickos out there, the author still managed to weasel some incest in. when the ml and mc are still believed to be siblings by them and everyone, another ml enters, this boy is perfect, maybe even a better fit for mc, girl is feeling it too. turns out this second guy is none other than.....her brother !! shocked you didnt it...(hes completely sick and knows the entire time....he wants his sister). but dont worry guys other than that, Shadowhunters is really good, character development? chefs kiss. i luv isabelle.

all my pens perish

im not exaggerating when i say i probably go through 6 pens a week, either they explode in my school blazer, completely new pens dry out in my pencil case, snap or most common cause, i lose them. i try pencil and the lead snaps in the middle so now matter how much i sharpen it, it will never be useful again. this is a cry for help, any stationary reccs??

i lose everything all the time

would you believe me if i said ive lost my keys a total of 5 times this year? well dont. because ive lost them 7 times and only 3 of the times have they been returned. im a regular at the keymaker.... how many of you can you say that??? i hope none, i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. i think this 'losing stuff' thing ties in rather nicely into my fish memory too, im pretty convinced ive got a rare amnesia that hasnt been discovered yet. its almost impossible, scratch that, it is impossible for me to remember everything for school the next day, ill always forget at least one thing. my friends will try referencing a supposedly funny/memorable thing that happened and ill just stare. theyll stare back and then do everything in their power to try to make me remember...nothing works.

my friends always have the same crushes as me

you may be thinking, well thats kind of normal for a group of girls that hang around eachother to have the same taste in people and i i thought so too, until it was such a regular thing i just stopped telling them about my crushes. i do have a story, start scene-its the end of a history lesson and im really happy, its been good lesson and i love history. im abit tired because its P5, the end of the day, for that reason, im lagging just a little, i leave my book usually at school because ive got two and my bag doesnt need any added weight . as im packing, a boy, a desk away from mine, walks over and takes my book to the cabinet, some thing he really did not need to do. and i don't know why but i guess im attracted to people being nice, even if it was just a decent human being doing just decent things... the next day, i realise i do want this boy, sadly. i had noticed him before, hes the kind of pretty that doesnt need to exist in a boy but if it does, he unfortunately becomes an object of envy. long lashes, blonde hair, droopy kinda eyes that make him look sleepy all the time. we had just never talked, seeing as we never had reason to. the next day, in a maths lesson, my friend says, "hey don't you think so and so is cute..." as shocked as i was, partly because this friend had been gushing about a different boy an hour ago and partly because it had happened again, i think i played the "really? maybe if i squint really hard he's meh" role really well....long story short, they're dating now....

now youve read my reasoning, there are more...but i just cant remember, i just know you see what i mean. my parents deffo pissed off some magical being and in return it cursed their firstborn daughter.

xoxo

ps: this is actually my second time re writing this because i accidentally deleted but the world just needed to know...ty for reading to the end <3

#girlblogging #im just a girl #essay #im going insane #girly things #i need sleep #shadowhunters #i want a cat #i need a cold shower

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arsenicflame · 1 year ago

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hi i'm really interested in space lesbians! where are they, who are they? how can i see them? (shows, games, books?) also what are you most excited about in s2 of ofmd?

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY

soooooo my space lesbian enthusiasm refers to 3 separate medias!! (it used to say gay space vikings bc that was an even more specific niche buuuut im way more into tihylttw these days s o) one day i am going to make a fuckin venn diagram of my girls because they all have so many similarities. (loki/sigyn and angela/sera are basically the same characters change my mind.)

this is about to get real long bc im unhinged about them <3 10/10 would talk about them all day if the communities were there

our first space lesbians are loki + sigyn from the bifrost incident! TBI is an album by the band the mechanisms which you can find wherever you listen to music (youtube here) its a norse mythology inspired rock/steampunk-esque album and it is SO GOOD- it takes place on a train in SPACE in the format of an incident investigation. its a story so you have to listen to the tracks in order :)

next up! this is how you lose the time war- our lesbians in this are called red + blue because we have deconstructed this trope to its most basic format at this point :') its a short book, and you may be familiar with it as it went viral from a trigun fan tweet a few months back. (my url (and sewing blog url) are actually references to a quote from this book!) you can get it wherever you get books and id recc the audiobook if youre into that i am also in possession of the pdf if you wantto try before you buy.

tihylttw is a story told through the exchange of letters between two agents on opposite sides of a war- it usually gets described as enemies to lovers but id personally use rivals as i think it describes them better. the book is known for being incredibly poetic and sometimes pretentious in its writing and i just think its the most beautiful thing ever. lesbians do it better

honestly theres nothing i could say for tihylttw better than it could say for itself, i just adore the universe theyve built and i want to KNOW MORE. i love you and i love you and i want to find out what that means together

saving the best for last is my girls angela + sera. the most of all time. nobody compares to them for me. they consume me

angela + sera are from marvel comics and you can find my complete reading list here, but if im talking about them positively, im usually talking about one of the titular Angela comics, and more often than not queen of hel.

honestly i love the angela comics so much that im making myself speechless trying to figure out where to start. Angela falls into the asgard side of marvel comics, though she is a lot more fluid in her affiliations, her whole thing being that she deals in deals- nothing for nothing everything has its price. she is at times described as emotionless and is generally quite a stoic character, especially around strangers. the major exception to this is her wife, sera. seras one of marvels few canon trans characters and i think she is just so wonderfully written. shes witty and cheeky and doesnt take shit from anyone, even when it gets her into trouble- and oh boy does sera find herself in some predicaments! the angela comics are often just as poetic as tihylttw for me, theyll drop an 'as long as you are with me, i am not afraid' and ill need to go smother myself in a pillow for a sec. in QOH they adopt a daughter who is Also a lesbian, shes an alternate version of leah of hel and i ALSO adore her.

im desperately trying to avoid plot points but god. the main arc is 21 issues of smooching Shakespearean space angels what more could you want?

(through sera & angela we get a lot of heven lore and honestly that could be its whole own thing for me im SO fascinated.)

my girls are currently in comic hell, i am praying they will get something good soon 🙏🙏

and what am i most excited about for season 2? can i just say izzy? can i just say anne + mary? dude im so ready for some lesbians you have no idea actually you probably have a very good idea if you made it this far down. im incredibly excited to be seeing izzy get a favourable arc this season, im really hoping to see him develop relationships with everyone else, see him grapple with feelings around ed (actually im really hoping he chooses not to forgive ed. for growth) im excited to see whats gonna go down with his leg, im excited to see wtf is going on w ed + stede because i have no idea what the continuity is at the moment, im just excited!!!!!! i honestly dont think theres anything im not excited about everything looks so good so far

#category 10 nyx autism moment #i wrote way more for the others than TBI but its not bc i like it less theres just. a lot less lore?#honestly we dont know much about loki/sigyn outside the incident on the train #and talking about that is just. tellin u the story #the angela section just turned into stream of consciousness im sorry i was tryin to avoid just. esplaining the plots ghfnjfnj #if u read angela and u like it please talk to me g o d i am full of thoughts about them #i was trying to be restrained here but but but #god sera sera i love her shes no damsel in distress shes in control of her own destiny!!!#angelas conviction on things!!! itd be easier to argue with a mountain!!!!#i want to know EVERYTHING i want to scream about everything god #[explodes]#i need to lie down now actually im insane about them #if the angela fandom was half as big as ofmd i would probably never consume a new piece of media again #instead i mentally debate myself as to whether the lines about the scent of battle/blood in her eyes are supposed to be read as a #trans women are real women commentary or a rebuttal of hevens misandrist tendencies (i like both)#(its fun to try and read into this i love sera i love how they handled her being trans i love heven lore i love the anchorites #[explodes harder]#ok stopping. to reiterate. category 10 nyx autism moment #nyxtalks #ask #i am so. so sorry

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homopathy69 · 2 years ago

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HIS ASS QUIET!!!!!

I will not disclose the reason for his anger

ughoaokwii i need to go to a fucking what is it called vocational college seminar and I DONT WANT TO IM NOT GOING TO VOCATIONAL COLLEGEE!!!!! Grrr!!!!!!..!!.!.!! I’m also so not getting into university theres just no way they’ll take me :P can a bro just chill 🍃 fr.,….,.,.,.i mean i got a bit over two years but come the fuck on I’m not making it and I don’t even need to. University only has one thing i want which is education but I can do without university to get education. Plus everyone’ll expect me to do something great after like jesus hermann christ mom I’m not gonna do groundbreaking discoveries in chemistry im sorry. I’ve pretty much abandoned all my plans by now because there’s nothing i can do except trying not to be a burden on society and do my part to make some people happy. I don’t want anything which is bad because i think you’re supposed to want something from life but it might be just cuz im ND and I don’t see myself in traditional work or work at all. I just want to frolic in the flower fields and be left alone until I am done baking but I’m afraid I’ll get burned to a crisp if i keep saying im not ready. I might go to italy for two weeks for a school thing which is great. I hope the weather is better than here.

Speaking of weather i was actually kinda counting on the fact that I wouldn’t even make it to spring but apparently life has a way of keeping me alive. I simply cannot fit a hospital stay nor death into my schedule. My schedule has plenty of empty space dont get me wrong but It’s because I’m a mentally exhausted little man and i need to ruminate in my sadness.

Im twitter posting again but tumblr is better for it because it actually lets me type an essay. Ughhoojqlal I don’t wanna go to my art classes tomorrow they both suck major ass. In the other one we’re using adobe illustrator and it’s just….. dreadful. The other one is a movie course which is fine but it’s very taxing for me. I just kinda wanna drop out but the law won’t allow it anymore. Which is good cuz id be dead without school :P

#maxwil #dont starve #wilson higgsbury #dont starve together #maxwell carter

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flockofdoves · 2 years ago

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i objectively would choose my current situation over basically any other time of my life ive lived through but also nonetheless sometimes it feels a bit meaningless to look back at previous periods of my life like ‘thank god im at least out of that situation’ because theres always a new way for things to be really bad. like when i was isolated and worked one on one with an evil evil evil supervisor in a job that flared up my chronic pain i was able to go to sleep on a regular schedule and made some art in my free time and didnt have roommates who stole and ruined all my stuff and made me take care of their animals. like i still absolutely choose ‘having friends and living with my girlfriend and having the opportunity to continue my learning’ over that but i hate how no situation ever sums out to on a whole things being better on a level of how emotionally and physically draining it is on average throughout a normal week. i absolutely have much higher highs now but the wide variety of stressors are way more complicated to balance. i want to someday get to a point in my life where just objectively i can reflect on how i feel throughout an average week and Know 100% it averages to better than it has instead of just being a different flavor of bad. but also idk maybe im just emotionally immature and dont know how to handle anything

i keep thinking about dropping out again but i know thatd just change the flavor of bad. my mom would stop giving me any financial support and i dont think being able to work full time would make up for that. id probably linger too long in doing nothing bc of my current burn out then struggle getting out of the hole that would create and id really regret just dropping what i cared about with school and work related stuff rn and i wouldnt know how to keep up with people i know from those contexts. and i know the biggest reason im continuing with school is because some of the few jobs that seem physically and emotionally sustainable for me require a degree. so i do really just have to continue like this. it could be worse absolutely 100% i know that but i just dont know how to have hope for it being better. its not even that bad but i still dont know how to sustain it

#cpost

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seokmn · 4 months ago

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MY LITTLE IDIOT

pairing: bestfriend!seungkwan x gn!reader

wc: 0.7k words

warnings: light cursing

“seriously,” you sighed and took off the headphones before looking at seungkwan, “i dont get it. why are you such an idiot?”

seungkwan frowned, took the headphones off of your hands and put them back in his bag, “you could’ve just said you didnt like, yknow? there’s no reason to be rude, yn”, he said in a defensive way while avoiding eye contact with you.

“i never said i didnt like, dont take me wrong. i loved your cover, i think its even better than the last one!”

“then why did you call me idiot? if im an idiot, youre also an idiot!”, he paused before looking at you and raising his voice, “and stupid as well!”

you chuckled and hit his shoulder in a playful way, not surprised by your friends reaction, but finding it quite funny, “because youre so talented, youre wasting potential!”

“what you mean im wasting potential? and how does the fact that you think im talented, which is totally accurate im aware of that, is related to you calling me an idiot out of nowhere?!”

you felt the seriousness in his voice, making your smile slowly drop and you run your fingers through your hair before speaking, “because you can have the world if you want to, seungkwan. but you insist on staying here, why not go to seoul? i know youre able to do that, so why stay in this island?”

“why would i not stay in jeju? i have everything i need here”

hearing that made you groan, you couldnt believe seungkwan actually wanted to stay in the island instead of going to a big city like seoul to pursue his dreams and be able to show off his talent not only to south korea, but to the whole world, “but you wont be as much recognized as you would be if you lived in seoul, dont you agree? the world needs to hear your voice! your vocals arent the kind of vocals to be missed on”

he just shrugged his shoulders, “youre saying that because you dont actually like living here, its not like i dont have social media in my favor”

“of course i dont like here, theres literally nothing to do in here! the view is nice, but we need more, we deserve more… you deserve more. what’s making you stay? if i had the chance like you do, id leave here in a blink of an eye”, you turned your head to look at him, “i really don’t get it”

seungkwan looked back at you before looking at the view in front of him, taking a sight of the beautiful sunset, “you,” he sighed and let out a chuckle, “you make me stay”

you were about to say something, but he didn’t let you, starting to speak before you could say something about his statement, “why would i go somewhere else if youre not going to be there? yes, i love jeju, but i love you more. i wont go anywhere if youre not going with me” he finally looked at you again, your surprise expression made him chuckle, “come on, dont act like you didnt know about my feelings towards you”

“i didnt know!” hearing that made seungkwan roll his eyes, “dont you think there was a reason for me to always cover love songs? maybe it was a subtle hint, but at least it was a hint!”

“not a good one, tho”

seungkwan side eyed you, “anyways. now you know why i dont leave jeju and that i like you, not in a platonic way. and by the way, you dont need to tell me that you like me as well, i already know that”

you raised your eyebrows, shocked by the fact that he knew your deepest secret, the one you never told a single soul about it, “how did you know?!”

“i didnt,” he smiled, “i was bluffing, but now i know that its true”

“youre really an idiot, im dead serious”

he sighed happily and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, “an idiot that you love” he looked at you with a smile on his face, which made you smile as well. he placed a kiss on your temple before looking back to the sky, “we’ll leave jeju together. ill never leave without my little idiot” he ruffled your hair, the act of him messing up your hair made you glance at him, “you want to die, dont you?

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softness-and-shattering · 6 months ago

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I was fully expectinflg ghe hag to have lair acrions, after all that warning eith the door and the myltie stage descent into the lair. Though I guess having the duplicates fulfilled the same role re action economy, and a party of four isnt so big, its not like a cr or d20 party of 6-8. Ive played in bigger groups and its not great.

I wasnt feeling fantastic today so I noodled around unfinished act 1 quests. I found the letter to Kagha. Im torn bc its super fun to have a secret backstory of shadow druids but like. She cant just be a bitch, she has to be 'evil' too? Idk.

Curious if Ill get a dialogue option to tell Halsin about it and how he'll react. I still cant seem to add him to my party. Does he just hang out at camp?

I also found the Harpers lookout. Ive found the scuffed rock, and a similar significant rock by the bridge on the Risen Road but neither Laezel or Larlach can throw them, shoving does nothing, shatter does nothing. Do I specifically need thunderwave? Or a telekinesis spell? What am I missing?

While trying to work out if Wyll can learn thunderwave (seems not) I discovered he has Gaseous Form so I tried using that to investigate some of the burrows Ive come across. The risen road one behind the bouse just leads into the crllar. Havent actually looted that yet. Went into the owlbear cave but couldnt find the burrow in there. And then I remembered Auntie Ethel and got caught up in that quest area.

Thr guy hunting Asterion is interesting. Left him peacefully. Astarion doesnt like me much. I wanted to ask who was huntong him but instead he asked where he was to be taken. Baldurs Gate of course. All roads lead to Baldurs Gate. Excepting that I have quests in thr city like finding Dammon and Mol, Id be starting to believe getting there is the end of the game. I want to buy my people nice clothes! Especially Karlach! And I took Wyll out of armour so he could use mage armour and he was suddenly rather naked. Switched him to showing camp clothes but it was a bit silly.

Mm at one point I directed Wyll to eldritch blast a redkap and instead he used arms of hadar on my bard. I dont know if I misclicked badly or if his patron is messing with him but it didnt happen again. I did swap him out soon after.

Slaps BG3 thus bad boy can hold so many entrances to the underdark! Theres the selunite temple, the drop from the spider lair, the elevator from the zhentarim hideout (considering gaseous form to loot those juice treasure rooms), the feather fall portal from Ethels lair, am I missing any? Presumably the moon towers/baldurs gate exit.

I was partway through the arcane tower when I started today but I wanted lighter questing. And geez area/act 2 has so many magical weapons. Im tempted to keep them all for some super specific cirumstance but id probably do better to sell them. Slowly working out what can be sold.

Im actually kinda mad that rope isnt practical. I got into a dumb pickle in the caravan cave with the gnolls. Jumped down to loot an area and two of my guys couldnt jump back. Grabbed rope and...its useless. So I took a long redy and fed em potions of giants strength and they made the leap easy. (Speaking of I am so tempted to open the case but those letters were very strict about not opening it and idk who its for and what their significance may be. Maybe its treasure. Maybe its a chest full of eye-yeerks. Who knows?)

Im also not absorbing the other eye slugs. Was it the narrator or dream guardian, the first time I used the illithid power, who said "You have lost something you will never get back". I do nooot trust it. Probably second playthrough Ill do it just to play with the game mechanic. Also romance Minthara maybe. I dont trust the sleep guardian but I dont super distrust her either. Idk what her deal is. But we're not absorbing more slugs losing more of ourselves no thanks. Back to the yeerk pool with them.

I do really love the quest diamonds that tell you where to go. "Find my missing husband please" oh there he is he got quite lost huh. Im still laughing at "and dont try ransom him back to me or you'll be skiny and stuck with an old man". The dialogue is really good. Laezel doesnt say shes monogamous, she says "I was interested but all the dogs have been picking you over. I prefer fresher meat". A little degrading, but at leasy shes not doing some weird jealousy thing. Usually I face with my bard. But then I used Karlach to talk to Dammon and all the dialogue options are perfectly in her voice, its great.

Im also loving the map design. Theres plenty going on and plenty to do, but not so much that you get lost in the weeds. Enough that it feels like a big grand world full of history and places to explore that arent directly plot relevant. Its a delicate balance of referring back to main events and keeping things tangential. (The women dealing w the hag for her husband. I never got to tell her about her brothers?? I thought it would be the first dialogue option but no zomvie busband abd off she goes to find their corpses on the fucking path?! Hut the devs cant think of *everything*, its ok).

Also the little things, undergrounds start getting spidery consistently, underground lairs lead to the underdark its very....verisimilitudinous???

Im also wondering if I can fo the underdark and the mountain pass righer in serial or at the same time. I do need to find the githyanki for Laezel that was our very first lead. Plus double the xp double the loot but I was forced into telling Halsin one or the other so idk if the game forces the issue.

K I think thats all I have to infodump today. Oh except seems like Shadowheart was a selunitr kid and thats pretty fucked. She likes me a lot. I dont think I reciprocate to that level. But astsrion doesnt like me much so yknow. Win some lose some.

#mine #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #review #i should come up w a tag for this since im kinda liveblogging.

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smileymoth · 6 months ago

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venting 👍.

I desperately yearn to create a story that is in depth and has a start a culmination and an end, i have the ability to create really in depth characters, i can plan out their entire lives, but because most characters who i create are just boring people whose lives aren't interesting they don't really get those types of stories. I can write autobiographies of my ocs and one shots of them going out or something, but i lack the brain for actually worthy storylines. It makes me miserable. I just want to create something that would be worth it, that would have depth instead of being just a pretty picture to look at. I get a lot of validation and praise but because im so self critical and nothing i ever do is special enough ill never really accept any of it. I just kind of feel like a fraud with everything i do. Nothing i do is interesting enough, nothing is new enough, nothing is worth the time. I dont really see value in what i do i guess because it has no capital value. I dont know hwy ive based my worth around if i could make it into a career. I guess its because i really dont want to get a normal job, i think it would kill me. But i also know that im not enough to ever achieve what i dream. Im so worried about the ending i dont even know the plot or whatever that flatsound song title was. Literally me. I try create but then i get stuck because its not good enough, and i quit. Becuase i cant figure it out perfectly. Because theres no point in finishing somrthing that has no value. Especially when it comes to writing/comics. I shouldve gone to study estonian fr fr what am i doing in the media dep when i cant even put together a coherent story or make a compelling poster . im kind of just a fraud and a lot of wasted potential because my ego gets in the way of existing because i cant take criticism without falling apart at the seams aproximarely 4 months later because ive sown it into my brain wrinkes by thinking about it on the daily . Its all my own fault but i dont think i can change it. I just need to accept it at one point and become a regular person who works an office job. At least id have regular income. I dont know. I want to drop out but i wont because then ill have no purpose in life. Ill enjoy feeling like i have something to live for while it lasts before it becomes a blur of getting a job (if theyd even hire me ever considering i have no working experience beside freelance and being a hotel room cleaner for 2 months) going to work going home going to sleep waking up going to work etc etc etc like every normal adult . I just wish i didnt get so depressed thinking about being alive but what can you do . Im not skilled enough to become a designer, i have no networking for it, and i hate marketing.

I used to think id die before 40 and tjen that slowly left because damn 40 is sooo young but now im back where i dont think ill make it past that age. So ive probably already wasted all my potential and chances of ever becoming anything. I just dont see the point of being alive really. And i also dont understand why ive been spiralling again. Nothing is wrong. But everytime i think about creating something i just get the desperate need to hurt myself because itll never be anything up to standard. And its all my own fault. Yay. I think i deserve to be miserable st this point because im not even attempting to get better. Im just alive for no reason. Im kind of dead already to myself . I ❤️ self punishment over menial things that nobody else cares about. Worst part im aware how stupid and overdramatic i sound, but i also cant help but believe it all to be true because why wouldnt it be. It makes so much sense to me

#moth post #vent #okay goodnight ^_^ just some thoughts that never leave my mind before i doze off

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kidkintsugi · 1 year ago

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stuff happened again over the course of the last few months and theres nothing I can do. I might just do it after all.

Friend i made over the last year dropped me and had me blocked on every account he owns because we had an argument. I even tried apologizing to him but by that time he already had me blocked everywhere. I regret sending that apology; i was also hurt. He didnt even try to apologize, and the way hes now trying to brutally distance himself giving me no chance to even contact him shows me that maybe hes only been using me for my money and help after all. The guy who apparently he crushed hard on broke his heart twice, yet he kept on crawling back to him. I have an argument with him once and he drops me like its nothing. I suspect this is also a way for him to avoid giving me back the money he owes? Maybe i wasnt that important to him after all, its almost laughable. Im not even trying to say i did everything right because i didnt, but again, in his own words, he doesnt even care. He'll be retaking the semester, i suspect he'll be spending his last days in my class online (if he id attending classes at all) so he doesnt even have to see anyone.

My best friend since birth who is essentially like a sister to me confessed to her mother that she fears for our friendship because I seem distant. It breaks my heart honestly, and with all of the other shit that has gone down, this was the last thing i needed. I cried for the first time in months. Shes everything to me, id rip off my arm if it made her happy, i couldnt even be angry at her if i tried, yet shes upset because i didnt have it in me to reach out. I hate myself, i really do. I make so much time for homework; ive been working non stop all over my christmas break, its a whole buttload of shit that i have to work at all over christmas, yet i couldnt find the time to talk to her. I want to rip my skin off, the urge to hurt myself is so bad as im writing this. Im an idiot. I wish i could be a better friend but after this much work and other emotional turmoil going on around me, daily classes until 4pm with homework directly afterwards until 8pm, i barely have the energy to even leave my bed, much less to initiate conversation.

My family feels like its falling apart as well ever since my uncle died. We already pretty much never talk to one pair of aunt and uncle because theyre not the nicest and like to stirr up trouble because my grandpa doesnt give them money (? lol) but now my other aunt, that used to be married to my now dead uncle, found new love. Within half of a year. Shes now also distancing herself, moving to a city an hour away from our own. We dont even know her new lover. She'll be moved to the other city by the start of next year. This only leaves me and my parents with my cousin, who developed depression because her partner doesnt care for her or her child (my grandcousin!!!! Hes so funny he can barely talk because hes so young!!!) and my other cousin who is, apparently, in an incestuous relationship with his half brother (THIS IS SO WEIRD TO WRITE???? WHAT HAPPENED THERE). We arent many people left but we still care for eachother, or at least i hope so.

Honestly, it just all looks like it wont get better in the future. Ill always be like this. Ill always struggle with emotion. I genuinely believe its for the better when im just dead. Theres only very few things keeping me from doing it. I hope next year gets better; ive been promised ill have less homework in my 5th and 6th semester, but my school rarely keeps up with promises. My hopes arent high.

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thatrandomventblog · 1 year ago

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of fucking course i fuck it up! i always do!

i cant get shit right can i?! nope! fucking damn near starving bcuse im tired of being refered to as a pig. fuck you too dad! i barely eat a single meal and you wanna call me a pig! like fucking hell get your shit straight. call me too skinny?! fucking FINE! ill try to eat some more! oh im sorry im stuck like this for the last several years! ik ik my weights fine im helthy but bully me anyways yeah?

fucking hell

i cant get shit done at all. maybe it would be better if i just dropped off the face of the world? nah and yeah. nah, itd hurt too many people. yeah, cuse then they wouldnt have to deal with this dumbass. ik i could vent in the server but idk i feel like sometimes im hogging it. like ik ik its there for a reason, but honestly id rather be helping everyone else. maybe im in one of thos moods tbh, it probably explains a lot.

honestly im scared im not going to make it in time. i dont wanna lsoe anyone else but every time i think that it makes me wonder, who did i lose? myself? my family? friends? who did i lose to make me so scared of losing others? honestly, i cant find an answer. maybe its being left behind all those times. being left alone. maybe growing up to fast i lost myself. i sure as hell am not the same kid i used to be.

younger me would argue with you if you said shit about someone i cared for. me now would rather kick your teeth out.

younger me would rather apologize and end an argument. me now would rather taste blood than admit defeat. then again maybe not, maybe im just stewing away (this is about biological family).

younger me would not be online and talking to people. me now, i need those people to survive.

theres just things that have changed. ive grown more violent, less paitence, and more pissy. and honestly its scary.

i wanna have hours worth of patience for my siblings

i wanna be able to keep my chill despite getting the living shit knocked outta me

i wanna be less pissy, be more stable than what i am now

but im not. i wanna change but idk how. ik people tell me im innoccent and kind and this and that but i dont feel it

in the end of the day im still gonna be a shadow

im still gonna be nothing

im still gonna be a fuck up

#tw warning #tw #tw vent #tw cursing #tw sh implied #tw sui ideation #tw: mental health #tw: violence

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f4y3w00d5 · 10 months ago

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Faye Fangirls About My Chemical Romance, Part 1 (Danger Days

Danger Days: True Lives Of the Fabulous Killjoys – Sorta pop punk ig, some more rocky songs

Excluding the ‘songs’ where its just talking

Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

Bulletproof Heart

SING

Planetary (GO!)

The Only Hope For Me Is You

Party Poison

This one starts in Japanese for some reason??? Its hard to explain… another fast and dancy type one ig, but sorta raw-er? Its sooooooo weird- not one of my favs but its semi popular

Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

Summertime

DESTROYA

………………fucked up robot song where you scream and moan. What else is there to say? (the porn bots In the story worship a ‘god’ called Destroya who will supposedly come save them)

The Kids From Yesterday

Vampire Money

@mayhem-moth

#my chemical romance #faye fangirls

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