#id be dead dead- how about you guys?
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November 19 2024 2009
God I love Beatdown Round 2 so much, it sounds so good for no reason. It could be because I tend to like bass heavy music but something about the lower register just works really well in conveying that shits getting serious.
And damn if it doesnt. So much is packed into such a short animation. And then Dave just being parried backwards with such force thats hes endlessly falling down the stairs. Thats gotta hurt.
Back to Rose we start exploring some more in the, confirmed, Skaianet lab.
Look at the scale of this thing. Every dot is a meteor that may or may not be connected to someone trying to start a session. When we zoom in on Roses coordinates, we see hundreds of session-less meteors that have already impacted. The world is well and truly fucked.
Rose is the best. She knows what the people want. These are the largest meteors yet to impact earth. I was hoping the list there was the coordinates of these two but since we know what the coordinates of the Pacific Ocean location should be, Jades island, we can rule that out. While Rose can see them we cant. Instead the coordinates we do get just seem to be meteors closests to Rose herself.
In any case, uh, I had to double check with a map because that looks like Texas. And, um, it very much is. I mean, Id be kinda fucked regardless because of the sheer amount of meteors but, hmm, it kinda hits different knowing a fuck-off meteor is gonna hit 1 hour to 1.5 hours away from where I live. And that impact size does not look pretty. My guess since it just says 'U.S City', if this meteor is Daves, its gonna hit either Austin or Houston. I mean it could also be San Antonio but thats a little more westward and Victoria doesnt have much in the way of high-rises... Im thinking too hard about how dead I would be if a fictional meteor landed here.
#homestuck#homestuck replay#hsrp liveblog#to be fair- the impact site is very ambiguous#it looks kinda almost smack in the middle of a few different cities#which kinda sorta is where i am#id be dead dead- how about you guys?#chrono
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i feel somewhat responsible for this, even if i’m not the one saying these things. I’m genuinely so sorry.
No need to apologize! It's not one singular person doing it and truth be told I don't think it's a large majority that thinks that (albeit the ones that do are quite vocal). I didn't mean to upset anyone or anything when complaining about it, I was just letting off some steam.
Having a yap session under the cut sorry I feel like rambling under your ask anon.
Admittedly, I do think there are reasonings for people thinking this way. A lot of the focus with Clash has been on the cogs, especially after the 1.3 update. Which I can't say I blame them! Managers were something new and exciting and (from what I can tell) really separated them from the other servers. I don't blame them for wanting to put focus on that because that was their thing. Alongside other things, but majorly when you hear Clash the managers are mentioned in someway shape or form. But as we all know, toons ended up taking the short stick from this. This isn't helped by the gameplay itself, being mainly a fetch-quest deal so you often only talk to npcs once or twice unless if they're repeated ones and the taskline wasn't entirely accessible on the wiki for a while (shoutout to the wiki maintainers. The taskline script is a savior). Which I'm quite excited to see if they deal with this issue with the rewrite. I imagine they will, but anyways. Social media posts would often contain more managers than toons, which I also believe they're starting to fix. And ontop of this, I believe most of the team in the early era of the sever is gone, so there's been some stuff lost in the change. So yeah, dialogue/writing has been kind of rocky. AGAIN- I am completely aware of the rewrite going on and I am not judging them harshly based off of their current state. I'm very appreciative of the fact that they took the time to listen and are focusing on trying to fix it up. And then there's also fandom mischaracterization- especially of the cogs. Forgive me for mentioning mischaracterization because normally I wouldn't really care (I've mischaracterized characters before..especially in my younger years. I think it's just a process of learning an having fun and I hate to limit anyone because of it). With that being said, there's a lot of baby-fying and coddling of the managers. Especially with those who have more 'sympathetic' stories (Misty, Chip, Winston specifically). Don't get me wrong, I like these characters and I can appreciate the story they're trying to tell, but I feel like so many people will hear their dialogue and then misplace their anger. People get mad at Bessie for trying to protect HER lighthouse or at the Elders for trying to keep YOTT safe (lets not forget Winston was there to brainwash toons). Yes, yes technically there would've been better ways to do it but consider this: The toons are scared. Their homes, stores, lives are being taken over by a big corporation that has more resources that they do. They don't have the privilege of waiting, seeing, and gathering. And then people forget that the company has such a huge role in both toons and cogs lives. If you're mad over the mistreatment of Misty or the fact that Winston is still in the dungeon, your anger should be directed at the company who doesn't care. I may be completely wrong in saying this, but I feel like the stories with almost all of the managers is a reflection of the company. The toons are only trying to protect themself and their environments and yet this seems to go forgotten when people start bashing them. And of course, I'd consider myself a toon guy so me saying all this and complaining may come off as "I HATE the cogs and everyone who posts only about them!" and for clarification that's not true. You all know how much I like that little brain thing. The cogs are interesting, their designs are fun, I don't blame people for liking them because I do too. I just wish that the thought process behind so many of these discussions wasn't so cog focused because I believe that this anger at the toons for, RIGHTFULLY, defending themselves helps push this mischaracterization of them as a whole. That they're mean, boring, unlikeable while the opposite is true. Yes there are some, what I'd consider, "filler" dialogue from the shopkeepers. This is just because of the gameplay. But there are some funny and cute moments with them if people would just listen and read.
Which also brings me into another point: people skip the dialogue. I've caught myself doing this before (on my first account. I have 4 accounts total, so I reread the dialogue on like 3 of them). But people will complain about lack of toon personalities while doing this. It's like reading through a comic book, only looking at the drawings, and then complaining because there "isn't a storyline". Luckily, there's been efforts to keep track of the dialogue on the wiki but I doubt a lot of people are going through and reading the entire script. It just feels very disingenuous to criticize the dialogue when you haven't even read it. Likewise, people don't seem to read the blogposts either. This is both from a dialogue aspect and from an update aspect (people continuously asking about hammerspace/mix-and-match under unrelated posts).
#clemask#clemramble#I think I hit some sort of word limit because it wont let me add anymore so im continuing in tags#It kind of feels like people want the toon resistance to be the perfect victim and then get mad when they act accordingly#Fear. Nervousness. Sadness. Helplessness. Anger. etc etc are all valid reactions to their situation#Not every toon needs to be heroic and whimsical. they're scared. their situation is scary if you think about it#they're at the risk of losing their environment and homes.#Obviously the cogs also have their own issues but I always see this brought up when talking about them but the same context#isnt given to the toons when thinking about their characters and communities as a whole#It's kind of weird to me because I feel like even pre-rewrite I know that I can still understand them and justify their actions#and yet people act like clashes (pre rewrite) writing is justifying the cogs when in reality its not#its just showing that cog society (reflection of workplace enviroment) has its own issues. i never saw it as a justification#even with misty. like I never once hated bessie? my opinion of her never changed even after mistys dialogue#bessie did what she had to do because she was scared and wanted to protect herself and others.#id do something similar if a cog (known for taking over towns) suddenly came up to me#PLUS bessie leaves misty alone afterwards. ppl act like she took a shotgun and shot misty dead and it makes me laugh#ANYWAYS SORRY ANON. NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE.#realistically if youre not saying it then i doubt youre contributing#I would say ��i wasnt mad” or anything but to be completely transparent with you guys i was Not-Happy when writing that one post#but it's not directed at any single person but rather the idea itself. I'm sure after the rewrite people will chill out#ITS NEVER THIS SERIOUS im beefing over characters named pretty princess sparkles. im aware of how silly this all sounds ok#the clash fandom isnt the only instance of this. ive seen stuff like this in sw before so like. I know this isnt an uncommon thing either#normally id just keep this on a priv or between friends but something kinda snapped yesterday#i think its bc I just KEEP seeing posts like it with those “hot take” posts or whatever and ppl are always so mean about it#i also think some ppl just already dont like toons and look for every. little. thing. to go after them for#like the “youve been drafted line” i refuse to believe people took that line 100% seriously#or maybe this is all wrong and im just a huge toon fan. and in that case i will die on this hill#you will have to pry them out of my cold dead hands before you catch me genuinely bashing them#ok thats clems giant critques and complaints out of the way
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it kind of weirds me out when two people who abused lloyd (morro and harumi) are getting more recognized/hc'ed and addressed as his family than the actual one (ninjas, wu or HIS PARENTS). it's okay to make au where they didn't abuse lloyd or whatever but then you just write a new character.
#blockable#rant#not only that but HAR_MI getting headcanoned as SISTER when she emotionally abused him and manipulated him and BROUGHT HIS FATHER BACK FROM#THE DEAD???? HEY GUYS. HOW DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THAT.#i think it's okay to make au where rumi or mrr aren't villains. but you just don't write them as seen in canon. like mrr isn't redeemable.#lloyd still remembers him and it fucke dhim up so bad#ninjago#the new character thing is about morro btw. id o lime how the fandom write him and actually give him something to be#but then go and say that morro is one of the best villains when he has a personality of a wet rag is weird#this post and tags derailed fro the main theme fuck#its 4 am idc
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seeing info only about the kiryu and majima statuettes but absolute radio silence on the ichi one is utterly sending me. Theyre hiding the fact theyre gonna make ichi pale as a cracker again
#snap chats#theyre in the lab making a skin tone with melanin in it for once im SCREAMING#JUST LET ME SEE MY BOY PAINTED LET ME SEE HOW BAD THE DAMAGE IS#whether i spend $150 is entirely dependent on if ichi is pale or not and im so serious its why i didnt get his plushie#anyways i got hate crimed today i was getting lunch with my dumbass friend WHICH. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I DO#CAUSE WE JUST SIT IN DEAD SILENCE AND SHES TERRIBLE AT CONVERSATION RIGHT anyway.#we were getting lunch and her prof ask her like ‘oh are you on a date <3’ like prof i would rather kms !!!! then go on a date with this gir#literally my biggest fear i hope people dont think we’re dating id actually drop out#‘snap you make her sound awful’ because she is and i dont feel bad about bullying her anymore NO LISTEN#WE WERE PLAYING Y7 LAST NIGHT AND SHE BUTT DIALS HER FRIEND. LIKE A DUMBASS.#AND DEADASS ME AND HER FRIEND JUST TALK ON HER PHONE ABOUT HOW MUCH SHE SUCKS.. WHILE SHES SITTING RIGHT THERE.#i felt so validated cause everything he was complaining about id complain about like oohhhh my god i should meet him#hes the guy that called me that invincible character. and mystery man. i think i talked about this already wait—#ITS STILL FUNNY TO ME IDC ive never felt so seen in my life. why an i friends with this girl idk we’ll figure out one day#right now i want. ichi statue to be real and tanned#ok bye i have class soon
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god whatever. WHATever. whatEVERR
#like. the third thing about. wynonna. (television show) is that i found it at the worst point in my life. my LIFE. okay?#and i latched onto this character so hard as i was actively dropping out of school as like. my role model. of it not being the end of#the world. things getting better etc. and it went so so badly downhill but that wasnt even an issue bc im great at bad tv#the third thing is that i was so bad i was so fucking bad and i dove into the fandom#which god. like. i dont blame these discord mods bc they were like 20! barely handling their own shit!#its just i went all in. and allowed myself to be vulnerable and voice unpopular opinions and the thing about that fanbase is they dont care#about wynonna. character. and being in a server a 1000 strong consistently go dead quiet whenever id float something about wynonna hurt bad#i did everything for attention i made memes i made posts i made props. i engaged in this fandom in a way i havent with anything b4 or since#because i made the stupid fucking mistake of confessing that i didnt like how they handled the cop characters!#i didnt like it and i made good arguements and gave my reasoning all with a little air of but idk!! what do you guys think im just a dumb#drop out!! and these people who were like. god. big on twitter on first name basis with cast and crew would say yes#yes you are stupid for thinking this. you are stupid for saying that. youre wrong! youre wrong.#and i have never been able to get into something the way i did that show since#i dont initiate conversation. i dont make shitposts. i cant get over that hurdle!! i want to!! i want to and honeslty#i only realised that i dont Get Into things anymore because of All That like. tonight at my dogshit shift that dragged forever#i would tag this to be deleted later but my insufferable ocd need to explain why i am the way i am will probably win out over the shame#txtpost or whatever#sorry if you got this far. LOL
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mouf
#ok idk if youve seen it yet but im super into mouthwashing the videogame as of rn#it's an instant modern classic no doubt about it the narrative is PERFECT#the only criticism id give is the end being a bit drawn out but we love when horror allows itself to be cinematic#and you know me in this blog how i instantly latch onto whatever gay ship there is for any given piecd of media?#NOT this time ABSOLUTELY NOT#not even considering it im being dead serious#the 'popular' m/m ship from this game has to be one of the most dysfunctional abusive ones there'll ever be#not even in a fun drama angst it gets bad before it gets better way it's just Bad throughout#absolutely doomed from the beginning#and the worst part is that it's actually Really easy to see guy A is unhealthily obsessed with and idolizing of guy B#who is nice and forgiving to the point of being an enabler#but it'd be awful awful awful were it to ever happen im not joking#anyway VERY GOOD GAME PLS PLAY IT if you're into psychological horror and can handle its multiple potentially triggering themes ofc#FUCK I MISPELLED PIECE
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#personal#bless my supervisor really#after lunch i'm half dead bored as shit trying not to fall asleep in my desk and she's like hey you and White Guy™ should work on this thing#i am soooo bad at playing it cool truly. the rumors are true i stopped aging after 19#but hey we spent 30 minutes at my desk and i did all my daily quota of looking#god. he's just. i just love hearing him talk. id rank his voice in the top ten things about him#i was just SPOILED today#he gets there early everyday so wheneve i come in he's preparing his breakfast in the kitchen. singing to himself and stuff#he literally had me sighing out loud as i walked to my bus stop#this is sabotage really because ive been on the cute girl grind as of late#last friday she was wearing this shirt with holes in the shoulders and the amount of skin i could see.....#i understand how the victorians felt basically#she's such a girlfailure...... and god she's so pretty#couldn't stop staring at the shape of her waist in the dress she wore today#she's so easy to talk to too. and perceptive and very thoughtful#okay i think that's enough#i hope you guys know that i'm holding myself back from rambling about every daily thing like this is middle school#i got it real bad#if you are on my mind all night and day blame it on mu youth..........
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It does get really annoying when people misunderstand the message of a game and it's storyline but sometimes we have to also understand that sometimes it's the fault of how it's being told
#this id specifically about fnv btw#specifically thinking about the whole thing with the boomers and their vault#some people will take away that the message is 'gun control bad' and that the boomers are the good guys#but also somehow ignore the fact the whole thing that happened to the vault and that the boomers views arent meant to be seen as good#like they literally think that they are meant to basically be gods and kill everyone in the wasteland from their plane#and the vault records also show the reason why the overseer limited the guns in the first place was bc of increasing homicidal tendencies#and considering the remaining people in the vault are either dead ferals or trapped. you finish the picture.#like the type of people that think the message is just 'gun control bad' are the exact type to becomes the boomers#but ofc they dont see that as a bad thing bc genocide is Fun! (sarcasm)#it doesnt really surprise me#since these same people would say the legion are the best ending unironically#like im not saying picking the legion as your favorite is bad if youre acknowledging youre cosplaying the villain#but if you think the legion should exist irl bc you think theyre right.#go touch grass.#watching that video about the boomers and scrolling through comments made me feel smart#'so its basically texas/america and its saying how gun control is bad and were right?' yall are dumb#ive also noticed that whenever these dumbasses bring up tun control negatively either they think it means no guns at all#or theyre the specific type of people that shouldnt own guns and have never taken a class in gun safety#media literacy. save me#common sense. we need you
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can we hear some of your headcanons about frank :)
OMG YES !!! I feel like my interpretation of him is like really different than other people's, but its finnnneee :o) Also there's a lot so brace yourself 👍 I also wanted to focus more on just him this time around since I've already done a HC dump about him and Julie !
• AuDHD also go brrr (I’ll be real I’ve hit all four of em with this lmfao)
• Has a really high pain tolerance! He could break a bone or somethin and literally try to walk it off despite the other’s protests.
• ON THE OTHER HAND THO, he is PATHETIC when it comes to getting sick (which isn’t often, but that means it hits him HARD when he does). Talk about man colds fr 🙏 The other three tend to make fun of him for this, but Julie still takes care of him cause she finds it a bit funny and wants to help her silly bf out.
• Absolutely loves being the center of attention, so he defo tries to impress anyone around him
• He really did enjoy playing basketball and being on Fairview’s team! He didn’t really get along with most of his team, but he was pretty good at the sport and being on the court was sometimes freeing for him. Was also a p good excuse to stay away from home.
• Dropped out of school early into his senior year, punching that referee was simply his final straw
• During the car ride to Ormond, he defo tried to run away while Clive was stopped to get some gas, but got caught pretty quickly. Frank may be strong, but Clive was stronger, and managed to force him back into the car. The rest of the ride was pretty silent after this
• Absolutely loves hoodies and jackets, and is rarely seen without one (whether he’s wearing it or just has it on hand). They’re just comfy, what can I say
• Loves the thrill of fights, which he gets into a bit more often than he probably should. Also tends to be the one to throw the first punch.
• He is NOT a morning person whatsoever. It takes him forever to finally drag his ass out of bed. He’s more of a night person, both for the peacefulness and because there’s more potential to cause some mayhem without getting caught.
• Though he’s the leader of the Legion, most of the plans and ideas come from Julie and Joey, since they actually like to think plans through unlike Frank, who will jump straight into something without giving it a second thought. He’s got zero impulse control lets be fr
• Hates the quiet, he either has to have music playing or be talking to somebody or else he just feels uncomfortable
• Has quite a few tattoos, though the only one ever really visible is the one on his neck. Got his first tattoo at 15 and loved the rush he got from getting one. I feel like he got his neck tattoo right before being dragged to Ormond at (roughly) 17. He had to be sneaky about getting them, ofc, but he’s always been pretty good at faking IDs and lying about his age (hence why he’s able to get his hands on alcohol n shit p easily).
• He’s a bit of a flirt, having a pretty charming nature to him, which he defo uses to his advantage when he needs to get out of sticky situations
• Not trusted behind the steering wheel, so Julie or Joey are always the ones to drive everyone places, which he’s a bit annoyed by, but he got over it eventually
• Has a lil collection of random trinkets he’s saved throughout his life, like things he’s stolen from every foster home he’s been through, random shit he’s found on the ground, gifts given to him by his friends, etc
• Whenever he was relocated, he would ALWAYS research as much as he possibly could about where he was being sentenced to. He found the history behind certain places really interesting, especially if there were any murders or creepy shit involved, and it also helped him plan out ways to get out of there as quickly as possible.
• Absolutely hates Clive with the PASSION. He did nothing but ignore Frank, no matter how hard he tried to get his attention. Frank picked a lot of verbal fights with him, some of them almost escalating into something physical, but Clive wasn’t afraid to fight back and stopped each fight pretty quickly.
• Got kicked out about half a year after turning 18, but he didn’t really care since he basically lived at the lodge anyway. Just meant he was finally free from living with Clive permanently
• He has a funny older brother / younger sister relationship with Susie. They’ll do shit like yelling at each other from across the lodge about what kind of pizza they should get, or walking into the room the other is in only to stand there silently before turning off the lights and BOOKING it. They annoy each other a lot, but they do it out of love (platonic obv) lmfao
• He and Joey do stupid shit like wrestling, arm wrestling, or straight up fights to see who’s stronger. Despite Frank being the one to initiate most of these, Joey wins a good 90% of the time unless he’s really caught off guard.
• Would do literally anything for Julie <3 He is so pathetically in love with her. I feel like Susie bugged him a lot about this before he and Julie started dating, calling him out whenever she caught him staring at Julie for too long or just teasing him about it
• Is REALLY bad at comforting his friends when they’re feelin down, but he tries his best 👍 It’s either him threatening to kick the ass of whoever made them upset, or just being silent and letting them vent cause he doesn’t really know how to respond
• Got super excited when he found out Julie also loved slasher films and learning about serial killers, and was really happy about finally having someone to talk about this shit with. They have movie nights a lot where they watch stupid slasher films for sure !
• It takes a lot to calm him down when he’s angry. Though his friends are sometimes able to help, most of the time they have to leave him be and let him punch or break some shit to release his anger.
• He always feels really bad whenever he blows up at one of his friends, he just struggles with actually apologizing about it. Julie is helping him a lot with this, and even though progress is slow, he’s slowly learning and getting better at it
#hes just a funny guy with anger issues that loves his friends#theres a lot more to how i view his character ofc#like a LOT more#cause hes such a complex character#but my laptop is about to die#and id rather explore this in like#a more serious post anyway#i have spent way too long figuring these guys out#literally all thats on my mind fr#rewriting their lore and everything lmfao#also the legion are all audhd real#sorry i dont make the rules#like you cant tell me that any of em are neurotypical#dead by daylight#dbd#dbd the legion#dbd headcanons#dbd frank#the legion headcanons#the legion frank#frank morrison#haysprite
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I could/should elaborate when I’m not falling asleep as I am rn but like. I feel like for the people who you “mourn” who have died young and/or suddenly who you knew only in passing, or only casually interacted with, or were once close to but in the years between then and their death you barely spoke, etc etc etc, you arent actually mourning them or their presence in ur life (and now palpable absence) (supposedly) but just what it means to be a human on earth who has to grapple with inevitable loss and the immense weight of what a Person is and their footprint on everyone they interact with that is fleeting even tho there are several billions of us on the floating rock but none of those billions of lifetimes are ever overlapping 100%…. sigh :/
#context a student who graduated last semester (undergrad) died in a car crash like 500 miles away#and one of my fellow grad students/TAs and a few of his former profs are so upset about it and like………#u barely knew this kid I mean of course I feel terrible that someone with his life ahead of him was snuffed out in the blink of an eye#but like…….. if u had never found out about this. or if this hadn’t happened and he went on to live a boring long life#he would mean next to nothing to u !!! u would be none the wiser! u would probz not even recognize his name in 10 years! why are u crying!!!#idk I would be less ANNOYED and hashtag BOTHERED by it if the same people didnt say such nasty derogatory shit about their undergrads#like every other time I talk to u about mundane news ur complaining about how ur students are all lazy untalented idiots#but now THIS ONE who was never meaningful to u before THIS GUY is SPECIAL to u…? u mourn him?#2 weeks ago if I showed u his student ID photo u would struggle to remember his name but NOW HE MEANS SOMETHING#NOW THAT HES GONE AND IT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER ANYMORE NOW HE MEANS SOMETHING TO YOU#tldr if ur still reading lmao I feel like this stuff is always about yourself and almost never about the dead person#which is valid in its own way I mean I’ve literally cried after passing mangled cars and ambulances with people who defs aren’t gonna surviv#but it’s never been about their life’s overlap with mine and retconning some kind of memorable or emotional significance to it#idk why I’m so emotional about this in like 3 separate directions but it’s just so fucking frustrating !!!!!!! 🥲🤡
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Pre-gaming my evil run in my current playthrough by killing npcs bc im about ready to snap
#prince's gaming tag#I TRIED TO BE GOOD I REALLY DID#I WAS LIKE 'hey the girl im pursuing in this run is watching and she wont appreciate you killing everyone in sight'#WELL TRYING TO KEEP THOSE STEEL WATCH WORKERS ALIVE WAS A CHORE AND A HALF#AND THEY KEPT RUNNING INTO MY SPELLS SO FUCK IT YOURE ALL DEAD NOW#i was gonna keep the one guy alive that made the robots and knew how to dismantle it#but he would not sneak past the robots with me which meant id have to fight them#im at max level theres no reason for me to do that. so i killed him and got the info on how to dismantle the factory#by having another character get it out of his corpse#and then i saved the artist from hos ghost problem but they kept knocking me down and just when i was about beat the quest#the game crashes and i had to start from the beginning#so i killed him and his wife after doing it again bc fuck them#with the way im going through with this i should made that vampire ascend but whatever imma do it for sure next time
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physically incapable of being honest i simply MUST concoct an elaborate and potentially ongoing lie to tell my boss im quitting over text barely three weeks in because saying 'hey man i actually dont think this job is as good a fit for me like i thought itd be and i really need to focus on my classes right now because theyre also a lot more demanding than i thought theyd be as well so i think itd be best for me to part ways on good terms before things start to go south' is simply doing too much and would bring the morale down. i need to lie to this man
#like is my immediate. borderline compulsive kneejerk reaction to lie about any and everything in my life a sign of something? perhaps#but i am choosing to ignore it#i normally would not be this bad abt quitting but ever since i found out theres only 5 (five) ppl TOTAL employed here it#kinda messed me up bc i know how much it sucks working w a skeleton crew but i also dont want to fuck myself over#by staying at a place that i dread going to BECAUSE its so short staffed#also like. the man just finished the schedules up until next month and i have No Days Off like i still have classes bro#i cannot be taking six years to finish a fucking two year degree#but now i feel bad abt quitting so suddenly (and over text at like 3am) bc my boss isnt a bad guy or anything hes actually pretty chill#however i genuinely think id actually lose it for real if i stayed here any longer#perhaps in another world i have the opposite problem and can only tell the truth at all times#im getting off track now i need to focus on the Lore of my Lies#sorry gma but im using you as my one free family emergency pass to get out of work (she is already dead)#yall already know the drill if you read all of this dont forget to like comment subscribe and hit that notification bell#or offer advice too idc just know if your answer is 'just be honest' i will not be doing that
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Apparently my sister, the one I no longer speak to because calling the cops on me and trying to have me charged for sending 4 texts because she didn't like the contents while never calling the cops on the boyfriend that beat her kid is disgusting, asked how I was to someone I haven't even met because they know someone I do then immediately followed that up with "we don't talk." So 1- don't tell everyone and their dog my fucking business it's not their problem and 2, if we don't talk then that should tell you how much I want you to know about how I'm doing- zilch!
#winters ramblings#i dont get her. if you gave a damn about me you wouldnt have lost your mind defending a MAN over your WHOLE FAMILY#despite that man being a disgusting waste of space you werent even with 2 months later!!#and if youre willing to throw your whole family out over some idiot guy eventually YOU didnt even choose#then why woukd i DEBASE myself with your bullshit youve never once apologized for!#because frankly id like ab apology for spending TWELVE YEARS braggibg about how trying to kill me as a newborn was hilarious#and id ALSO like an apology for LOSING SOME OF MY DEAD FATHERS ASHES and that doesnt even GET to the shit#she pulled at Christmas last year. hell thats not even all the apologies she owes to ME let alone her oldest daughter#who i said in thise 4 texts she tried to have me CHARGED about she held to a WAY higher standard of behaviour than any GROWN MAN she fucks#that kid is owed a BILLION apologies and itll still never be enough!! and then she can apologize again to me for being pissed off#that i was right wgen i read her fir fucking fifth and dragged her ass through the mud and sge was only mad BECAUSE i was right#i dint say mean shit for the sake of it like her. if i say mean shit its mean because its true abd i say it because you deserve to hear it#dish cruetly out dint get pissed off wgen it comes back exceot its actually TRUE shit when i say it not nasty made up shit#said just to be hurtful and cruel. which i ALSO told her was unacceptable and that 0 people need to put up with that#shes a griwn adukt who can either take responsibility for herself or fuck off abd since she's NEVER ONCE done option 1#theb option 2 it is. i waited basically all 30 years of my fucking life for her to grow up and she never will so good riddance#dont ask people about me like YOU didnt destroy our relationship over and over and over again
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I should not have been taught so badly for 3 years that i genuinely have to google how to find job postings in my field. "Get a degree!! Get a degree!!" for why. To be laughed at by out of touch tutors and not taught anything? It's certainly not going to help me get a job because i CANT FIND THEM. "People will see you went here and that will give you credibility." Will it roderick. Because I now know not to trust a motherfucker who went here 💀
#rangnar rambles#taught by people who have not ever had to get into the industry in this state. dont know how to use computers. and (i cannot stress this#enough) DID NOT TEACH ME ANYTHING#I GET MY 27K PIECE OF PAPER IN 2 WEEKS AND YOU CANT TAKE IT FROM ME. SO CAN I GET SOME CONTACTS OR SM#but no yeah im so normal and glad i spent my time like this#WHAT DID I SPEND THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE DOING#if youre going to study illustration in the uk just go to falmouth. i dont go there but anywheres better than here#if [REDACTED] has no haters i am dead and have been ejected from the universe#if i could go back in time id do maths at a level and become a fucking accountant jesus christ#i had a tutor last year who used to do coke and got paid 15k to sit in front of a camera doing nothing by a mate in LA#the same guy our year got fired for being incompetent and aggressive when you asked for help (like. his fucking job)#AND HIS GIRLFRIEND. who was also a tutor and MORE INCOMPETENT#i had one tutor the whole course who had my back i love you jeremy i hope you finally get to retire and stop having to run FOUR COURSES#only man who actually had us do drawing exercises and taught us (in SECOND YEAR) how to draw perspective#so many people got to final semester and suddenly got failed bc tutors were lying to our faces about the quality of our work and not giving#accurate crit. how humiliating is that for everyone involved??#you dont want to tell us our work is shit until the grades are coming out?? and ur shocked when you havent taught anyone anything?? be so fr#it was like they were always shocked that we wanted direction and advice and our feedback was always met with 'well in the 80s there was a#big push for thia kind of open loosey goosey art course' its not the 80s anymore and students have been complainging for a decade#management would 'take on board' criticism and then bank on us all being gone in 3 years so they wouldnt have to actually do anything#all while taking our money and shutting down the entire humanities section of the uni#*actively wating wires* anyway no yeah im soo glad i spent my time like this at least i got a girlfriend i GUESS
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actively learning how real tumblr’s vernacular is and how out of pocket it is to those unfamiliar when you say it out loud
#I’m making friends with my classmates at a cooking apprenticeship I got (yay!!) and#this really irritating guest lecturer has been around and he describes hard boiled eggs as unsexy#and were chatting under our breath like wtf why are we worried about eggs being sexy this is for a food handlers license#and we’re just shooting off unsexy foods and dude across from me says sloppy joe and with out thinking I look him dead in the eye and say#‘id stick my dick in a sloppy joe’#completely dead pan#in a whisper during a lecture#and poor guy stares at me for a second#and snorts and had to put his face in his arm to stay quiet#I was both a little proud of myself and mortified#I’ve known him for three days total#I’m actually pretty pumped with how this class is going#it’s only been three days but the vibes are really good and there’s a few other trans people (they actively talk about pronouns and jazz)#and the head chef is a good teacher who answers questions well and is engaging#plus it’s just a good program#and I’m getting paid for it#if you’re interested in cook training and have 8 weeks to kill in august and live in nyc let me know I’ll tell you about it#augest is when they’re doing the next set of sessions
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Fave martin blackwood things:
- lied about a MASTERS in PARAPSYCHOLOGY in his cv. why did he choose such a niche study like how many jobs could that even get you (EDIT I now know what a CV is and that he’s not telling every job he has a masters sorry guys I’m very jobless 🙏)
- writes the most terrible poetry you’ve ever heard (said with love) and plays background music while recording it onto a tape recorder for the vibes
- when encountering a terrifying worm lady that tries to add you to her flesh hive, he MAKES SURE to keep some of her worms just so he can stick it in his bosses face
-the rudest guy in the world (said boss) does one nice thing for him that he didn’t expect and he immediately falls in love (this is real to me ok let me have this)
-wears video game shirts to work
-goes on rants about spiders importance to the ecosystem to a guy with the worst arachnophobia ever
-hides CO2 cans so that ‘the worms don’t find it’
-forces his boss to go on lunch dates with him so he doesn’t completely lose it to paranoia
-walked into his bosses office, found a DEAD BODY THAT WAS DEFINITELY MURDERED, and all he says is “oh jon 😕😕”
-has practically the same reaction later on when someone tells him his boss compelled them to relive their worst trauma
-gets told the guy he’s been in love with for multiple years treats him horribly and goes “yeah and”
-outsmarted an avatar of the lonely despite being in a horrible depressive episode with no contact to anyone else
-manages to make peter fully believe he’s dedicated to the lonely even as his crush of many many years is practically confessing his love at every interaction
s5 martin is my favourite id need a whole extra post for him loml
#the magnus archives#tma#tma spoilers#martin blackwood#i’m so in love with him it’s not funny#jonathan sims
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