#i. remember. it. so. vividly. too.
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I'm so fine <- the words of a liar after finding out one of her favorite fanfics has been deleted
#ao3#destiel#supernatural#i. remember. it. so. vividly. too.#royalty au. age difference. castiel being gifted from his tribe to a kingdom as a warrior. expecting to be put in their military-#nope hes on babysitting duty.#the prejudice the young boy princes have for him not helped by their maid spreading false rumors and hatred!! dean trying to protect sam and#'fighting' castiel!#cas being their bodyguard! being put in a room seperated by a wall! him stopping a kiddnapping/murders! a door connecting said rooms being#installed! them slowly aging up! looking at cas with stars in their eyes! dean entering puberty and realizing his feelings for cas are Not#Platonic! cas noticing dean distancing himself! he's no longer the cute little kid who at picnics begs to sit in his lap and hear stories!#dean being forced to marry and have an heir TM#their falling out where cas ends up leaving for months? years? he learns that he was given to the kingdom Because The Elders Were Threatened#by his strength!#and eventually cas comes back and everything worked out#i wanna reread it#its like- raising a king? something like that#god i hope it wasn’t removed bc of fandom moralists in comments or bc people were selling copies of it
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yet another mspaint drawing of boredom. go my siffrin from memory (mostly)
#crowfound art#in stars and time#in stars and time siffrin#isat siffrin#isat#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#my evil curse is that i remember how siffrin looks too vividly and so i only had to look at a reference for their hand#and that big fuckass spike of hair on top they head#everything else was purely my half-recalled vision of his. well his everything#insane how i can remember almost all of siffrins design but cant remember my favorite food off the top of my head#my power....
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fucked up little dream i had abt tearing a piece of my thumb off
#when i woke up i looked at my thumb to check if it was still intact that was wild#i remember the inside of my thumb so vividly like it was pink and spongey looking for some reason#i did it so slowly too i remember that#and the whole time i felt no pain ?????? it was really fucking weird#the bone was sticking out and everything and then i just threw the part of my thumb away from some reason#in my head i went that would b cool as a drawing i think#tw injury#??#tw mutilation#??????????#barely thats like a centimeter of my thumb but eh#froodles#im going back to eep tho
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January 1, 2015: Dan and Phil start their 2015 off right by starting The X-Files! 👽📺
#phan#dan and phil#phil#y:2015#via:twitter#10yearsofdnp#i know he doesn't mention dan but i vividly remember them both talking about the show in 2015/16#plus i mean they watch everything together so dan is very much implied here#i've been meaning to watch it for ages too but haven't gotten around to it#maybe someday!#from what i remember dnp both really liked it#but also LOL at this tweet - phil really watched the wildest things as a kid because he had an older brother#as someone with an older brother i totally understand#though my brother is much closer to my age so the things i watched with him were like pokemon and yu gi oh#yes i am that old lmaoooo
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going through my old substack pieces is such an Experience
#i overshare way too much on there#but also i feel so connected to pieces and remembering those thoughts and feelings so vividly#some of it is insane tho cos why did i write smth like 'going to bed with tired eyes and a longing to be touched' GIRL#diary#tiyas thoughts#substack
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hello I've never seen Hadestown but your animatic has put a NEED into my heart... do you have recommendations for how to find the best version to watch??
Omg I am so happy to hear that!!! :D Here's an introduction to how to get into Hadestown. I hope you enjoy it!
#eernask#eernanon#eernask talk hadestown#back in 2018 i too first got exposed to hadestown by an animatic that made its way to my youtube front page#but back then there were 0 bootlegs (i could find) and not even a full recording was out so i just gave up on getting into it lmao#i still vividly remember looking at nabiyah be in her yellow skirt and feeling my insane need to understand why tf the greek myth is in#post apocalyptic 1930s america vibes
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me n who ?!?!?!? ME N WHO GUYS ...
picrews: 1 2 3 4
mking silly girlfailure picrews are the only thing saving my sanity which took quite a number of blows today ( its hanging on by the measliest thread but i think its better to consider it go n e )
anyways i wanna make a silly tag game so we are going to make a silly tag game because in the wise words of martin luther king i think wait it was probably gandhi "be the change you wish to see in the world" arent i so cool guys im taking like the first step forward and :stareyes: ahahah
(no pressure) tags !! 🏷️ : @cienxpidity, @ilyuu, @anonbinaryweirdo, @suntoru, @tuesdayberries, @lume-nosity, @mrcrazyvillainvillainn, @ceneid, @amalythea, @xianyoon, @aeon-yao, @ryuryuryuyurboat, @auroratumbles, @snobwaffles, @the-white-void + everyone i probably forgot to tag (SPS IM SORRY) n anyone else whod like to join !!
#💬 ⌗ 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭'𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 . . . ✧#i was in a very silly mood ( mental breakdown ish ) i cried like 16 times in the past hour and that's probably not a good thing but HEY#its fine#im so fine#im so#im so...#*perishes*#begone negativity#its time for me and my delusions#speaking of delusions i actually had the WILDEST Dream last night#and its so crazy because its like the first dream I've had in the past year that's not about a fictional character#yes im pathtetic#carrying on#and i was like escaping from t h e. m a. n i n t he. h a l l w a y#and i was like runnning away yk and then shrek comes over and helps me out by defenestrating me and so i land in some bushes and then start#like putting candy into a bag??? and im like HURRY UP SHREK HES GONNA COME AFTER US#and then i got to this like cult area#where it splits into two paths and i remember it so vividly because there was this gate security and i had to type in my student id to get#and so it opens up to this room and there's two pathways#the one to the right has this giant ass shrine golden statue surrounded by a bunch of children#and the one i go to has little cube spaces caved into the walls for like little decorations and a stair for like a lower other half of the#room#and theres a bunch of children and my irls#and so we break outta there yk#we escape#we get out#and we run into like osme shopping place#and my friend is planning to abandon me with her other friend and they're running away to china#but they refuse to take me with them (ultimate betrayal)#HELP edit but the tags didnt show up cause there were too many...
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the voices.....
#xdinary heroes#gunil#jungsu#gaon#i'm sorry gunil i had to zoom in on whatever this was#i can't believe this was THREE YEARS AGO I VIVIDLY FUCKING REMEMBER#but haven't seen it in a while so i forgot and wish it STAYED THAT WAY#i hate them i hate them i fucking hate them#i was gonna say they're just gonna kiss on camera one day but i guess they technically already have#were they like this because of jungsu's manipulation because i remembered that's a thing and now i'm just. what#gunil pinching his cheeks was very cute too#he squished them after this too. very cute. but i'm stuck here unfortunately. what the fuck why have they always been like this#jungji#gunsu#gunjungji#chewyvids#✨️ chewy overnight queue ✨️
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Anne of the Island - Chapter 13
I already know this is going to be a spicy chapter for the book club lmao.
“I’m going to invent a swear word of my own,” he declared. The best way to do something IS to do it yourself, after all.
“Would you,” demanded Dora gravely, “would you say ‘tomcat’ before the minister?” sksksk this entire exchange is so funny
The funny thing with this chapter is, I've always been a bit of a Dora but I do sympathise heavily with Davy.
I'm going to try to separate Davy's actions from Christian expectations because religion holds no water with me. I don't care if someone breaks the Sabbath or stops going to church. And I've always been Team Let-Davy-Say-Fuck.
When I take away the specific actions and think in more general terms, Davy did 2 things that I consider "bad."
He ran away to do something (meaning, no responsible adult knew where he was).
He dragged Dora into his shenanigans against her will, by threatening her.
But I also get why he did it. Little boys and girls have been running away (temporarily or forever) from time immemorial. One of my aunts ran away from boarding school when she was about Davy's age because some of the older girls had spoken sharply to her. And she was more Dora than Davy!
And if Dora went to church and Sunday school without him, people would ask her about everyone else and he couldn't count on her to lie.
Obviously, children should have some rules and discipline but it is so normal for them to chafe against authority, especially authority they don't see as legitimate.
Even today, I wouldn't be super cool if a distant relative (even one living in my own home) tried to tell me what to do. And I come from a culture where blind respect for elders is normalised.
So, I fully get Davy when he says he doesn't mind Anne or Marilla telling him what to do, but minds Mrs Lynde.
And there is also the feeling of arbitrariness. Davy doesn't get why he can't hang out with the Cottons, why he can't say bad words, etc.
Sure, there is an explanation he's given, but he doesn't really understand it. Children do not understand nuances of class, religion, social stigma, etc the way adults do.
But all said and done, I feel even worse for Dora, because she didn't ask for any of this. And she shows some remarkable insight for her age when she catches on to the fact that Davy didn't really enjoy himself either.
#thinking about how ive sometimes wanted to run away but have always been too chicken#also my cousins used to run away sometimes...and just go to each other's houses lmao#like cousin p fought with his dad and left his house in the middle of the night to come to ours#he was 18 or so but i was only 8 and had been sent to bed#but i vividly remember faking sleep and eavesdropping on the conversation between the 'grown-ups'#anne of the island book club#anne of the island#lucy maud montgomery
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Seeing people struggle to tan while being a hermit for 4 years and somehow not having my tan fade is.
#this is not me being happy#im too brainwashed and care too much about what others say i wanna be pale </3#and then sometimes idc#idk#its so silly bc i vividly remember coming to this country and thinking that it was soooo weird people want to be fair#not that i wanted to be any particular color that time i was like.7#but havinf people constantlyyyyyyyy comment on ur skin kinda gets to uuuuu#and i am considered “light” here so theres that#literally y do i care#i did like the super pale makeup goths do even as a kid but its not the same to me anymore;-;
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wHOA HEY MOVERS' MOMS !!!??
And Knit Knots' mom tooo!!!
#i remember the mother in you song so vividly but somehow i didn't remember that the actors themselves were the moms too????#they look so good what the hell!!!!! smitty's mom looks so prettyyyyy.. help they look so cute#i knew there was an episode where the actors played out as the movers' dads. so i wondered if they're gonna show their moms too..#very delighted it is so#ghghuhg i'm obsessed. rich's mom.... hey#imagination movers#uhhm. i'm tagging it i guess.. hi
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going to be honest, did not have 'I apparently dreamt an entire article about Joan of Arc' on my 2025 bingo card
#I remember it so vividly. horrible jstor formatting and everything.#fascinating.#original ani thought#not sure how I feel about the fact that either I don't remember my dreams#or I remember them Too Well and they get filed in my brain as memories
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sometimes i wonder how much of my interests are fueled by spite. i know for SURE i developed my horse hyperfixation specifically because my parents wouldnt let me get a horse or riding lessons
#the essay i wrote (at like. 10) didnt convince them and i vividly remember#just how blistering it felt knowing that my parents assumed i would get over my interest in a few years#and the thing is. if theyd indulged it even a little bit. it probably would have gone away.#i had to prove it to them and im autistic permanently now so it's their fault#and i think a lot about how i like things now that are overwhelmingly like. idk babyish#in a way that when i was a kid i HATED things that were too girly. i refused to watch a lot of shows aimed at girls#(because being mature was the only thing i felt gave me value)#(and a lot of the women in my family and particularly my mother are quasi masc in an australian rural woman kind of way)#and now in my near thirties im watching precure. and being like yayyyy and welling up when important things happen#and it interests me to reflect on how much of that is no longer existing in a constant masking state and actually being able to#experience and accept my own feelings and how i express them#and how much of it is uhhh born of my living circumstances where i AM just a big kid. in a lot of ways that i cant control.#like if i stayed in uni and got an office job at a publisher. would i still have all this anime stuff in my apartment?#i think i would. but it's hard to tell. i dont know what kind of me i would be#momo talks#it's just interesting
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i think i actually managed to dream about dr ratio help
#i remembered so vividly when i woke up but now that i showered and made coffee etc i forgot again NOOO#trying to remember what it was#IT WAS SMTH IN CHARACTER TOO LIKE#me rlly dreaming up some additional ratio content to the current version#i think aven was in it too#help#babbles#tbd
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so I'm wondering what the general consensus is on the companion relationships bc from what ive seen so far they're so lackluster compared to the previous games.
(putting the rest under the cut bc this got unintentionally long...)
and you know what? yeah, I will compare it to bg3, bc I vividly remember so many developers, including bioware ones, being against bg3 being the standard. maybe they meant graphically or scale wise, but it's obvious that we meant the diversity of choices and quality/depth of the companions. larian made it a point that they wanted the relationships to be complex, it wasn't about pressing all the right dialogue for approval, and that sometime you have to challenge your friend's beliefs, sometimes you have to argue w loved ones. and when it came to romance, it was especially stressed that sex wasn't the end goal like so many other games have treated romance.
so yeah, the veilguard companions are disappointing, because it is a massive step backwards from their previous complex companions. you can't be friends, you can't be rivals, and you certainly can't have any kind of deep or complex romance. you don't even have a say in recruiting these people. there's no options for any kind of player, because bioware clearly only had a very specific player in mind. no matter what you do, it forces the illusion of friendship with characters you might not even like, it forces you to be nice and supportive no matter what, stripping the player of the agency and roleplay we were promised.
and there's the part I'm the most sore about. if bioware wanted a more linear game with a more fixed protagonist, fine, but 1) da2 exists and there was still more choice there, and 2) don't fucking lie about it. bioware lied up and down about this game for ten years straight and everyone just accepted it right up to release day. we shouldn't have to accept the bare minimum, especially from a $90cad game. that's money most people don't have to spare anymore, the least you could do is be honest about what people are paying for, especially when those who will buy it are faithful dragon age fans who thought this game was going to be faithful back and finally give them answers about the world they cared so much about.
(and don't get me wrong, larian isn't perfect either and I've made a lot of posts criticising them too, but bg3s success shows that people Do appreciate depth of choice and complex companions (see astarion's success))
to me, it feels like they only included romance bc the previous games had it and they knew people wanted it, but they didn't really care for it or just ultimately had no idea Why these romances worked. I don't get any feeling of care or effort went into these relationships (minus emmrich, but especially with lucanis') and it continues to puzzle me as to why writers even bother writing stuff they don't like or care for. and I don't want to assume it's just for money, bc I want to hope people actually do care about the work they do, so im not saying that, but it definitely doesn't feel good. I've said this before and I'll say it again, I would rather have a few characters with depth in friendship/rivalry with no romance, rather than ones that clearly have depth but is never explored. it's so frustrating to see wasted potential and it's even more frustrating to have my time and money wasted.
#im pretty much nearing the end of the game and lucanis' romance was. well disappointing but id understand if that was just him#but it's not#also i vividly remember rolling my eyes so hard when lucanis' writer said she wrote him as a bisexual disaster#but now im like damn where was any of that. i wouldve taken our stupid stereotype over literally nothing#bioware critical#datv spoilers#six speaks#also also... this sentiment goes for the entire game not just the relationships. i would rather have a good game with a good story instead-#of the developers half assing companions just bc people want it#but you cant fault people for expecting something that has literally been a staple of their games#especially when they lied about it#ok hold on i just realised it looks bad that im complaining about lucanis' romance#i do like that its slow. i do like that its not as physical or intense as people wanted. i just think there should've been other moments#of just spending time with him. doesn't have to be anything crazy but there's literally. like two romance specific scenes#minus the two ending ones bc everyone gets similar ones. which just makes physical intimacy look like the end goal yet again#don't come for me on this i Understand why his romance is like that. man lmao#im too tired for this
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ON THE BFB FINALE
LET'S GOOOO
what do you think of the winner? :3
#i remember really vividly doing pretty long comments when voting for the winner and then in the finale also doing a comment on how far they—#—had come but i can't find them????? for the life of me???????#but now i'm thinking i used to watch videos on my school account too so it was probably on that#unless i fuckin. gaslit myself???#(i hope it's the school account one because the idea of myself rereading those comments on a rewatch cringing and then deleting them makes—#—me REALLY angry. YOU PARTICIPATED IN BFDI HISTORY AND YOU CHOOSE TO DELETE THE EVIDENCE??)#ask answered!
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