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dreamingofaizawa · 4 years ago

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Potent

Alpha! Hanta Sero x Fem! Omega! Reader

***18+ Fic***

If you are under the age of 18 please vacate the premises.

Warnings: A/B/O, smut, knotting, marking, breeding kink (sorta? idk it comes with the A/B/O territory), a hint of pregnancy kink, a bit of blood

Word Count: 3.6 k

Author's Note: Ohhhhkaayyy so this has been sitting in my google doc for AGES. I think I started this in...October of last year? It's been sitting there for months and I've lacked the motivation to finish and post it but then I sent in an anon ask to @reinawritesbnha and, being the absolute queen she is, she became the little push I needed to do it. I DID IT FOR REINA!!

Also, this is some of my earliest writing and I only skimmed and edited a little bit of it so if there's a little bit of weird pacing or a strange cutoff where the writing styles clash it's because I haven't touched this piece in months.

Anywho, enjoy~

It had to happen when you were surrounded by alphas.

Your suppressants flaked out, again, and your scent wafted through the air on the street. Normally It’d be fine for an omega to let their scent float freely around them. But your scent is particularly...potent, even when you weren’t in heat. Not only that, but you weren’t mated yet, your scent glands still bare, and you still didn’t have a pack. To make matters worse, you’re quirkless.

You hadn’t realised what was happening until your path was blocked by an especially large male alpha. You turned around, and there were two more behind you. Fuck. This isn’t good. You took in your surroundings and searched for an exit, but you couldn’t find a way out. There's no way you’d be able to outrun the three very large male alphas.

Probably the worst part is that more alphas are turning their head toward you, taking notice of your lavender honey and rain scent that slowly began turning to a sour swamp. You dared to hope that change would ward off the three cornering you, but they’d already got a whiff of you. Several distressed chirps sounded from your chest, voicing your discomfort, and you glared pointedly at the three alphas as they edged closer to you.

You hate when this happened. Why’d you have to be cursed like this? Your growls only grew, baring your little omega fangs. There’s no way in hell you’d let some stranger scent you, let alone one of these creeps. They wouldn’t take the damn hint and just crept closer to you, calling out to the ‘pretty little omega’ to ‘come have some fun’.

You’re scared now, the involuntary chirps in your chest coming more frequently. None of the other alphas or betas on the street were big enough to face the three, making you a sitting duck and a ragdoll if they wanted you to be. Your claws are small, nowhere near ideal for this situation, but you’d use them if you needed to. With a final low defiant growl you dropped your bag against the wall behind you and readied yourself for a fight.

Suddenly a large body dropped in front of you, his back to you. His scent alone hit you like a freight train, orange zest, mint, tree bark and something earthy. It had your head spinning, nearly sending you into an early heat. He growled, low and powerful, the sound rattling in your chest and making you sink further into the wall behind you. The other three alpha’s scents together were still overpowered by the new alpha before you, and they vanished faster than they appeared.

He turned around and stepped away from you, giving you space to breathe. He kneeled down enough so he was eye level with you, his hands reaching out clearly in an attempt to comfort you, but kept from touching you.

“Are you okay?” The question barely registered, still delirious from his scent, and you’re having a hard time recovering. Large hands grip your shoulders and shake you lightly, your mind beginning to clear with the soothing pheromones he’s releasing.

“Omega.” The command snapped you to attention, your gaze fixated on his own dark irises.

“Are you okay, omega?” You blink, swallow down the lump in your throat, take a deep breath.

“Yeah...I’m okay. Thank you, alpha.” But you’re not quite okay. You need to get home. Fast. The alpha seemed to catch on, probably by your scent that still hadn’t returned to normal. He stands and slips off his jacket, draping it over your shoulders and wrapping you in his scent. It’s a comforting gesture.

“Let’s get you home.” With a nod you set off, the man walking next to you with a strong, warm hand on the middle of your back.

“What’s your name?” You introduce yourself, and he does the same. His name is Sero Hanta, and now that you’re calm again, you take in just how handsome he is.

Raven hair is pulled back into a small bun, showing off his undercut and strong, sharp jawline. Onyx eyes shine with kindness and playful mischief, and a beaming grin reveals pearly white teeth. He’s incredibly toned, his muscles calmly rippling under the t-shirt that stretched over his chest. You vaguely noticed the strange shape of his elbows, but disregarded it as his quirk. The omega in you is howling, begging for this alpha, his scent invading your senses. But you suppress it quickly, reminding yourself you’d only just met this man.

As you reach your apartment you exchange phone numbers, and he tells you to keep the jacket and use it when you go out to ward off any unwanted attention. You thank him again for helping you earlier, and he waves to you as he walks down the hall and enters the elevator, the doors closing in front of his handsome smiling face.

Despite meeting him only ten minutes earlier your instincts trust the alpha, and you hold the jacket close to your face, breathing in his scent. It’s wonderful, and your inner omega is in love. You find yourself wondering when you’d see him again.

The next few days are riddled with work and calls to your doctor about the strength of your suppressants. You work from home as a secretary for a small company. It’s a miracle you’d found it, too. Nobody wants an omega, let alone a potent one. It’s an alpha’s world, you guess. When this job opening popped up you were ecstatic, so you took it and have been working from home with decent pay for the last five years.

The calls to your doctor were not going as smoothly as your job, though. You leave a message every four hours until she finally calls you back. She was concerned since the suppressants she’d prescribed are the strongest out there, and if your scent was overpowering them they were either defective or your scent glands were overproducing. It wasn’t an immediate threat to your health, it only meant you’d be drawing more attention than you wanted to. Still, it’s annoying and makes life so much harder than it needs to be.

After she prescribed twice the amount, she said she’d look over your tests from the latest visit before she hung up the phone. You groaned once the call ended. You seriously needed a break from your second gender. Taking the prescribed double dose of suppressants, you got ready to go out to the corner cafe to read and drink coffee. Hopefully the new amount will keep steady. You really don’t want to deal with any more aggressive alphas this week. For good measure you pull on Sero’s jacket, allowing his scent to cover you, then grab your keys, phone, wallet and a book and begin the walk.

When you arrive at the cafe you order a hot mocha, curl into the small corner booth and crack open the book. You got lost in the ink and your mind floated along the adventure, putting yourself in the shoes of the main character and leading the mission to take down the corrupt queen who’d framed you for killing the prince of a neighboring kingdom. You were ripped from the fantasy world when a bright, enthusiastic blonde came up and tapped you on the shoulder, making you jump. His smile was as bright as his hair.

“Sorry to scare you cutie, but I couldn’t help but notice that jacket of yours smells an awful lot like my friend Sero!” You smile softly at the blonde.

“Well if we’re talking about the same Sero Hanta, then your nose would be correct. This is his jacket.” His eyes widen as he nods.

“Oh my gosh you must be the omega he keeps talk-” The blonde’s words became muffled by a large hand. A hand that belonged to the very man you were talking about. Sero smiles apologetically down at you as he shoves the blonde back to where you assume they’re sitting.

“Sorry about Kami, he’s… extroverted.” You smile back at him, mostly because you’re happy to see him again.

“It’s no problem at all. He recognized your scent on me.” He looked down and only then realized you’re wearing his jacket, and he beams at you. Then he takes a glance at the booth you’re sitting all alone at, his smile falling just a bit.

“Do you wanna come sit with us?” You take a moment to think about the offer, then agree with a nod. Your omega couldn’t pass up more time with him.

As you approach the booth you notice there are more people with Sero than you anticipated. There were four other people sitting there. Sero introduced all of them from left to right. Bakugo Katsuki, Kirishima Eijiro, Ashido Mina, and the happy blonde from earlier is Kaminari Denki. You introduce yourself and when Sero slid into the booth, you followed after him.

These five are a tight pack, and you learn they all met in high school. Bakugo’s brash personality made you wary at first, but it didn’t take long to realize he’s just like that with everyone. He makes a bit of a snippy remark, which you easily counter, and he smirks while the rest smile or snicker. It would seem they like you.

You can’t tell what their second genders are, and you mentally kick yourself for even wondering in the first place. Their genders are none of your concern, but you can’t blame yourself when you’re constantly alert because of your own stupid second gender. As it turns out, you don’t need to wait very long to find out.

This time you smell your own scent as it permeates the air around you. You swear under your breath at the stupid suppressants that obviously can’t so their job, and the others snap their gazes to you. You sigh.

“Yeah, that scent is me. My suppressants flaked again. Sorry about that.” They all nodded, seemingly understanding. Sero must have told them about the other day. Of course, it would soon repeat. It didn’t take long for an alpha to take notice of your scent. The man -- why is it always the largest males??? -- strides up to the booth with a cocksure grin and leans down to inhale your scent. You duck away from him, into Sero, and let out an albeit small warning growl that was drowned in Sero and Kirishima’s. He ignored them all the same.

“Hey there little omega, you smell real nice. You wanna come hang with me instead? We can have some fun together with my buddies, what do you say?” The others stayed quiet. They’re going to let you defend yourself before they do anything in case they end up escalating the situation. You turn your head and lift your shoulder, hiding your scent gland.

“I’m not interested, thank you. Please leave me alone.” You hoped to whatever deity watched over you that the man would leave. Before anyone could react the alpha grabbed your wrist in a vice grip, yanking you roughly from your seat. You chirp, your scent turning sour and the entire pack abruptly stands, baring their fangs at the man. It barely registered in your head that Kirishima and Bakugo are alphas, Mina is a beta, and Kaminari is an omega, their fangs giving them away.

The man tightens his grip on your wrist and you cry out, your bones creaking under the pressure. With no other options you did the one thing that would get him to let go, and sank your fangs into his wrist. You jump back into Sero, who wraps an arm around you protectively.

“You bit me, you bitch!” He raises an arm, clearly about to try and hit you, but a large hand grabs his wrist. Surprisingly enough it’s Bakugo, and his growl is laced into his words.

“Leave now, or you lose a hand.” Sero speaks up from above you.

“You might wanna listen, amigo. That’s Dynamight.” The alpha rips his arm from Bakugo’s hold and looks down at you, and you growl at him as he scoffs and walks away, apparently not ready to fight the #2 pro hero over an omega.

You all sit back down and you pull up the sleeve of the jacket to inspect the already forming bruise on your wrist. Your nose wrinkles with a half-angry half-pained snarl. Tenderly, Sero takes your wrist and lightly squeezes the sides of your forearm, against your bones, and your lack of reaction tells him nothing’s broken. Still, he growls at the offending bruise.

“I’m gonna kill him.” You shake your head and put a hand over his.

“It’s not worth it Sero. He’s probably long gone.” You turn to the rest of the pack.

“Thank you for protecting me.” Kirishima is the first to speak.

“Of course! That dude was a jerk. I just hope he doesn’t go around doing that to other omegas.” Bakugo, surprisingly, spoke next.

“Obviously we’d protect you. You’re a potent omega and quirkless, so you attract unwanted attention without even knowing or wanting to. Besides, if you’re gonna be Sero’s omega there’s no way in hell we’d let some extra handle you like that.” The implications make your face burn, and Kirishima smacks the blonde’s arm with a ‘Don’t just say that kind of thing, Katsuki.’

After an hour or two of talking, and shockingly no other aggressive alphas, they all walk you home to your apartment. Sero wanted to check on your wrist again, so you invited them all in, but they all had something else to do, so you were left alone with Sero. The fact that the one alpha you desperately wanted to be around is alone with you in your apartment is both great and terrible. Thankfully, you have self-control and his own suppressants are working perfectly fine.

He inspected the darkening bruise on your wrist, his large hands gripping your arm tenderly and turning it gently as he prods at the skin. It doesn’t hurt too bad, so you assure him you’ll be perfectly fine. Eventually he leaves with a hug and you sigh once the door is closed, relieved that you were able to keep your omega at bay and your hands to yourself.

A couple days later you get a text from him and the two of you text often, asking how each other’s day went, if anything interesting had happened. You didn’t leave your apartment unless you needed to, since your suppressants clearly weren’t working, so you made sure to cut grocery trips short and keep away from any alphas that seemed a bit aggressive. Sero invited you to hang out with the pack at their house, and you obliged.

They lived in a huge house all together. Most of the rooms were sealed so no scents or sounds could go in or out for ruts and heats, and there were several spare rooms that were empty and waiting for more pack members. It was a fun hangout, filled with video games and good conversation, and even better food which Bakugo cooked. Sero had an arm around you whenever he was close, and you definitely didn’t mind. Your suppressants flaked in the middle, again, and Sero insisted he walk you home. With him walking you home there weren’t any alphas trying to get you this time. You ended up going over to hang out with them a lot when you weren’t working, and eventually Sero began to court you.

Obviously, you accepted, and after a few months of dating and scenting, your overactive scent glands seemed to mellow out, Sero’s scent mixing with it. Your suppressants are lasting much longer now, which is a good sign. Now that you’re Sero’s omega, he often helped you with your heats and you’d help him with his ruts, and he was strong-willed enough that he hadn’t marked or knotted you in the middle of things.

About a year and a half into the relationship you realize you really love him. Sure you had arguments, but everything was settled through calmed discussions over coffee or tea, and you came to understand each other well enough that arguments became few and far between.

You’re happy with Sero, so when your heat came around early and he was there to help, you were going to let him know just how much you loved him.

You texted him once you felt it starting. He was there within half an hour, and you pounced on him once the font door closed, smothering him in hot, wet kisses, eager to feel him inside you. He carries you to the bedroom, and you two are quick in shedding all of your clothes. He lays you on your back with a hand on your throat as he growls into your ear, making a hot shudder roll down your spine.

“Are you ready for me omega?” You whine and nod, your slick already dripping down your folds. You want him so bad it hurts.

“Please alpha, I need your cock.” He growls again, satisfied with your answer, and he presses into you, bottoming out with one firm thrust. You chant his name like a mantra as he set a bruising pace, rutting into you recklessly, wet skin slapping on skin the only other sound beside your whimpers and his growls. His teeth nip at your shoulder, sharp fangs testing your skin and claws digging into the fat of your hips. His cock is so deep, hot swollen tip kissing your cervix with every full-bodied thrust and sending you into a euphoric haze. Your own claws are sinking into his back, leaving little trails of red and blood beading down the lines. It drives him wild every time.

“That’s right, little omega. Mark me up, I’m all yours. Fuck you’re so pretty underneath me like this.” His hands grip behind your knees and press them into your chest, folding you nearly in half as he plows into you further. The angle knocks the breath from your lungs and your eyes roll back. You can feel his knot beginning to swell, feel how his thrusts are getting more controlled and his grip on your thighs tighten from the sheer concentration it’s taking for him not to breed you. You have other plans. Between wheezed breaths you squeak out.

“H-hantaaa~” He slows to a near snail’s pace, grinding his slowly growing cock into your sweet spot, a smirk stretching across his face as you splutter from the sudden change. He’s enjoying making you squirm.

“What is it, sweetness? Tell your alpha what you need.” You pant, chest heaving as much as the position will allow.

“Want your mark, want your knot~ Wanna be bred Hanta! I want your pups!” He stills completely, claws digging into the fat of your thighs with enough force to have drops of blood falling to the sheets beneath you. You’d never said anything like that in the heat of the moment. He can’t have heard you correctly...right?

“Princesa, do you know what you just said?” The seriousness in his tone has you sobering, but even before you knew exactly what you were saying. You nod frantically, wiggling your hips to get him to move again.

“Yes! I know alpha! Please, give me your knot~” His growl makes your bones shake, and with no warning he drops your legs around his waist and leans down so his face is buried in your neck.

“Fuck, I’m gonna trust you with this baby girl. I’ll give you exactly what you want.” His fangs sink into your scent gland just as he picks up his brutal pace, and the euphoria makes you cum hard, your whole body locking up and mouth falling open in a silent scream. He plows into you as you regain your breath, and you bite down on his own scent gland as hard as you can, tearing into his skin with every intention of leaving a pretty scar for the world to see.

His knot swells more, and he’s pushing it into you with every ounce of power he can generate with that gorgeous body of his. With one final snap of his hips he locks his body to yours and cums hard, ropes of hot seed filling you to the brim. He collapses on top of you and laps at the wound on your neck and you do the same. After a few minutes he leans back and cups your face in his hand, gazing down at you like you hung the moon and the stars.

“Are you alright?” You nod, nuzzling into his palm.

“I’m sorry. I was gonna talk to you about it, but my heat came early.” He kisses your forehead gently, brushing the strands of hair from your face.

“It’s okay, pretty thing. I trust you know what you’re getting yourself into.” You giggle and wrap your arms around him.

“Of course I do. I love you, Hanta.”

“I love you too.” You lay there, tangled in each other’s arms until his knot goes down. You whine at the loss when his cock slips out of you, clawing at him to come back because you’re still in heat. His hand gently wraps around your neck, a low chuckle on his lips.

“Relax, we’re far from done.” His already hard erection rubs up and down your glistening folds, barely stimulating your clit, teasing you until tears prick your eyes and you’re beggin him to fuck you again.

“When I’m done you won’t be able to walk for days. I’m gonna breed you so well, You’re gonna look so pretty all big and round with my pups.” He groans at the image he’d conjured in his head and you squeal as he slams his hips into you.

You’re in for a wonderfully long night.

#sero hanta #sero hanta mha #sero hanta bnha #sero hanta x reader #sero hanta x fem reader #sero hanta smut #hanta sero #hanta sero mha #hanta sero bnha #hanta sero x reader #hanta sero x fem reader #hanta sero smut #omegaverse #tw: a/b/o

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out-of-jams · 4 years ago

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Across the Board || i || kth

(banner done by the great @kimtaehyunq )

↠ Across the Board ↞ You’d hit a low point in life. With bills piling up and your bank account empty, you were starting to get desperate. So when you got the invite to your oldest friend’s birthday party being hosted at the most popular underground casino in town, what did you possibly have to lose? You took what little you had left in your savings, put your card skills to use, and entered a private blackjack game.

And you’d won. And went back for more, and more, and more.

Until you lost.

And now you’re indebted to the city’s most dangerous mob boss, forced to pay your dues in blood one way or another. With a gun pushed into your hands and your life at stake; once you’re in, you’re in. You’ll never get out.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings/Genre: Set in the Roaring 20s! Gambling. Mature themes. Mafia!au. Mafia Don!Taehyung. Violence. Law breaking. Alcohol use. Death of minor characters. Explicit language. Enemies to lovers. Short series. 18+

|| Next | Masterlist | |

Danger.

It was a word right up there alongside the definition for the term “stupidity.” While not next to each other in the dictionary, they were close enough that your brain was unable to pick out the subtle differences. Perhaps you’d just always had a habit for screwing your life up, or maybe it was just genetics. Who knew?

You should have listened to the warnings, should have stopped yourself before you got in too deep. Hell, you should have done a lot of things. But you had no one to blame for your current situation except for yourself. However, if you’d learned anything throughout your twenty-two short years of life, it was that life lessons didn’t mean jack if you didn’t get yourself into messes into the first place.

Though staring down the barrel of a revolver sure was a funny way of going about it.

The air in the dimly lit back corner room was tense enough to hear the sound of a casino chip fall to the ground somewhere beyond the shut door. None of the six men sitting around the round, green felted table spoke a word. Their attention — and yours, consequently — was fixed on the single man in the room who barely even batted an eye at the clear panic evident on your face.

He sat on the opposite side of you; the scowl pulling down his bow shaped lips and the narrowing of his fierce gaze had fear chilling your veins. That man was much like an exotic animal; beautiful beyond belief, but dangerous right beneath the surface. A carnivore staring down his prey. The single light above the table threw his shadow against the wall as he casually aimed his pistol right between your eyes.

“You were saying, dollface?”

His neatly parted, straight black hair fell across his face when he leaned forward as if the next words out of your mouth would seal your fate. Not that the thought of having to have your blood cleaned from the expensive carpet beneath his expensive shoes seemed to bother him in the slightest. In fact, he’d look almost bored if it weren’t for the dangerous gleam behind his espresso irises.

“I—” You cut yourself off, swallowing roughly and glancing back down at the table. A depleted deck of cards sat in the center, two hands laid out on the surface. One was yours — a ten of diamonds and a ten of clubs — and the other his. A red ace of spades and a black jack of hearts.

You were out of money.

Having bet more than you possessed, you were also out of chances.

“It’s simple. You owe me money as promised,” his deep, baritone voice spoke up casually over the noise of your heart beating through your chest. “Either hand it over, or you won’t be leaving this room alive. Your choice.”

You closed your eyes for a moment too long to be called a blink, and cursed yourself for ever getting into this situation.

One Month Ago

Final Notice of Payment

Ms. L/n,

This is a reminder that you have a balance of $20.54 that is past due. Please make a one time payment no later than—

“Oh, please.” The bill enclosed envelope hit the top of the small, circular dining room table. Or was it the kitchen table? It was hard to tell, seeing as how they were one and the same.

A sigh escaped your lips as you leaned back against the creaky wooden chair, fingers massaging your temples. That was the third bill you’d come across that morning and every single one of them was the final notice of payment. The last warning they’d give before sending someone to collect what was owed.

It hadn’t always been like that. You hadn’t always been in such an insurmountable amount of debt, not until recently. Two months ago your mother, the last bit of family you had left, died. Passed away clinging to the sheets of the hospital bed she’d been laid up in for the past half a year. Cancer, the doctors had said. From all of the cigarettes she’d burned through in the past decade or so.

Irrecoverable, they’d said.

No amount of “sorry’s” or meaningless condolences could fix the massive amount of money that the hospital billed you. Or the debt that your mother left behind, along with her slim-boned corpse that you’d had to bury in the corner of the city cemetery. Perhaps if you’d known who your father was, you could��ve laid her to rest in the space next to his own, but you didn’t. Weren’t fortunate enough to.

Bills had piled up. Rent for the tiny studio apartment the two of you had shared was demanded by the pigeon-toed old woman who owned the rundown, overpriced building. Her husband had passed away two years ago and ever since then, she’d been relentless. She pounded on your door at approximately eight in the morning everyday, shouting through the thin wood that you had until the week was up to pay what was owed. Otherwise you’d be tossed out onto the street with only the clothes on your back.

Combined with the utility bill and the fact that you still had to come up with the dough to feed yourself, you were trapped. The meagre pennies you got from your waitressing job at the diner three blocks away weren’t nearly enough. Nothing would be enough. Not unless you wanted to sell your body on the street corners in the late of night.

Which you didn’t. And you wouldn’t. You’d be more likely to end up dead in a ditch somewhere with your throat cut than out of debt. The city wasn’t safe for women, less so by those men who saw prostitutes as no more than an object to relieve stress onto. And you refused to become another headline in the paper.

Tossing the opened envelope across the table, you paused when familiar handwriting caught your eye on top of the rest of the mail pile. Addressed to you in a curling script that only ever came from someone who could afford a private tutor. You sighed, carefully sliding a knife along the top to slice it open. A waft of sweet, cherry scented perfume filled your tiny kitchen and you almost rolled your eyes at the unnecessary addition.

Jennie, your oldest friend since high school, always had an inclination for the unnecessary. Born with a silver spoon in her mouth and a gold digger for a mother, she’d had nothing else to waste her time on. How you’d even gotten on as friends with such a gap between tax brackets was still a mystery to you. Maybe it was because she’d always used her wealth and status to get the two of you out of trouble. Whether it was from breaking into the school late at night to get wasted in the halls with the rest of her friends, or to get away with slipping things from the corner store into your dress pockets.

She’d always been a rule breaker.

Which was exactly why when you read the contents of the letter, a laugh tumbled from your mouth. It was an invitation to celebrate her upcoming twenty-third birthday in three day’s time. That wouldn’t have been anything out of the ordinary, however, if it weren’t for the location. There wasn’t an exact address, there never was. Just a thin piece of cardboard the size of your hand that fell from the envelope. A playing card — a red ace. One that looked normal except for the center that had the name of a restaurant in the heart of the most rich part of downtown printed on it.

It was a ticket to the most popular underground casino in the whole city. No one knew how to get one, how to get your name onto the list that only catered to the rich and powerful. Located beneath a restaurant, it had grown to be infamous almost overnight since gambling and alcohol was outlawed. Even the coppers knew well enough to leave the establishment alone.

The only way to gain entrance was by flashing a ticket to one of the restaurant staff. That was what you’d heard, at least. You had no idea how May had managed to secure one, let alone enough to cover what you knew would be a large party of her closest friends.

Flicking the corner of the card, you couldn’t believe your luck.

Your mother hadn’t taught you very many things, had been too busy gossiping with her friends over a carton of cigarettes to bother. What she had passed down, however, was her ability to draw cards. To play blackjack with the best of them. That’d been the only thing she’d ever bothered to teach you; when she’d had too many sips of wine and her eyes had glazed over with memories of the life she used to live.

She’d sit you down and make you memorize the names and faces of the cards until you could count them forward and backwards. Could predict what card would be drawn and when. Where she’d learned it, she’d never told you. But that didn’t matter now. Couldn’t, seeing as she was dead and all.

Grinning, you flopped back into your chair.

Maybe you’d be able to pay off your debts after all.

And you had. Paid off your debt, that is.

After clearing out your savings account of the last fifteen dollars you had left to your name, you’d dolled yourself up and gone with Jennie and her friends. Had left the group of flappers tittering and groaning drunk at the line of slot machines at the back of the casino. Calls of bets being placed, dough exchanging for chips, and illegal cocktails pouring into glasses played as a soundtrack.

None of the card tables scattered across the underground establishment held what you’d been looking for. Neither roulette, nor craps, nor slots. The bartender had been the one to tell you where the real games were, where the cash was. A door down a tiny back hallway led to a room where private games were held. If you managed to win at one, he’d told you, then you’d win not only the pot, but an invitation to come back and play again.

Which had been an opportunity that you just couldn’t pass up. No matter the risk.

You’d won.

And now you were addicted.

To the money, the lifestyle, the adrenaline that shot through your veins like a particularly harsh sip of gin. Which was exactly why you’d gone back. Again, and again, and again, every single week for the past month. It wasn’t your fault that it was so easy. So simple to swindle your way into getting your name permanently written down on the entry list.

Oh, and the men.

It was a different group every week, but they weren’t all that dissimilar from one another. They’d sit there and smoke their cigars and drink their whiskey, all while silently mocking you with their eyes. Like they thought they were better than you just because they had a dick between their legs.

You were addicted to that too.

To watching the way their faces would fall in disbelief every single time you cleared the pot and took their money. And how their voices would raise in pitch with their countless complaints about how some lowly broad conned them out of their pocket change. Because that’s all that money was to people like them.

Change.

They were rich. You could tell by the custom suits they wore, the cologne they bathed in, the way they carried themselves. The money they gambled with always had a cap, a max amount that they were willing to bet. And the games never got too crazy, didn’t escalate once they lost to you. Which was a shame really, because you wanted more. Craved more. More of what, you weren’t too sure, but the high that playing brought only lasted so long until you came crashing back down.

Which was exactly when fate decided to change the routine.

“Here to play again, miss?” Felix, the same teenage boy who always manned the door to the gambling room, asked with a slight tilt of his head. His light brunette hair was tucked beneath a bowler hat, different from the usual fedora. Back to the door, he was standing up straight instead of his normal slouch. And the way his mouth was taught around the edges was out of the ordinary as well.

The boy didn’t have a cigarette clenched between his teeth, which should have been enough to set off the bells in your head. But it didn’t. Because you were too bullheaded, had gotten too cocky in the terms of things.

“You know me too well, Felix.” You reached out a hand to pat the lanky boy on his suit clad arm lightly, a smile pulling up at your red painted lips. “Is the usual table ready?”

The volume in the casino wasn’t as loud either, nor were there quite as many patrons. But you’d just chalked that up to the heavy rain pounding a path into the concrete outside. Though the lack of customers did nothing to eliminate the permanent smell of cigarette smoke that lingered, hidden in the walls beneath the fancy looking wallpaper.

“I don’t know if you want to play today, miss.” Felix glanced away from you with his bottom lip caught between his teeth. You blamed the flickering light in the corner of the hall for the way his freckles stood out amongst his slowly paling cheeks.

You raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”

He didn’t answer. Not at first. Silence lingered in the hall, drowning in the soft jazz music coming from the band on the stage near the back of the joint. It took the raising of your other brow for the underaged boy to finally answer.

“It’s just not a good day for gambling.”

Now that had you leaning forward until you could finally catch his flighty gaze, voice hushed in a playful whisper. “Oh really, how so? Is there a stool-pigeon running about somewhere? Should we be expecting the coppers to come kicking down the door any minute?”

“No. I—”

“Then why can’t I play, Felix?” You were starting to get irritated. The week had been long and you were ready to forget about it all for the next few hours. Buried beneath the weight of a handful of cards and glass full of gin.

Either Felix could see your growing impatience, or there really was something he was hiding, because he stepped even further in front of the door. “You don’t want to play with this group, miss. They aren’t as welcoming as the others are. It’d be best if you just went home.”

“You ca—”

“And what’s going on back here?” That wasn’t Felix’s voice and neither was it yours. You whipped around, surprised at the new addition.

The man behind you had honey brown hair parted and styled carefully until it was brushed back away from his heart-shaped face. Though some of it still hung in front of a single, dark eye. His other was uncovered, a scar running through his eyebrow and cutting it in half. Everything about him was angular, sharp. From his jawline to the slope of his nose and the corners of his full lips.

One look and you already pegged him for a cake-eater, a ladies man, if you’d ever seen one. Hell, he even dressed like he came right off the front cover of one of those Time magazines that littered the newspaper stands on every street corner. With a navy blue suit and perfect, unscuffed shoes.

“No, sir,” Felix attempted to pull the man’s attention from you unsuccessfully. “The missus here was just leaving.”

The Stranger hummed, tilting his head to study you with those sharp eyes of his. “Were you, bunny? Just leaving?”

You couldn’t help the twitch of your nose at the unfavorable nickname, squaring your shoulders and crossing your arms with a scoff. “No, I wasn’t. I want to play a few rounds, you see, but he won’t let me.”

Perhaps you should have felt bad for ratting out the kid, but you didn’t. Especially not when the Stranger huffed a laugh, a distinct ha-ha-ha! in amusement. Though there was something else in his eyes that you couldn’t name. Didn’t want to acknowledge. “You want to play a hand of blackjack, is that right?”

“Ab-so-lute-ly.” You raised an eyebrow at the man and waved a hand through the air. “I can play.”

“Oh,” He asked, taking a step closer until you had to crane your neck back to meet his imploring gaze. “Playing isn’t cheap.”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “I can pay too.”

He must have been waiting for that answer if the smirk that pulled at his lips was any indication. And he finally, finally broke eye contact to wave aside the boy behind you. “Well, did the dame make herself clear or not? She wants to play.”

You happened to turn just in time to catch the alarm that flickered across Felix’s face as he stepped to the side to reveal the door behind him. Felix reached out with a ringed hand to twist the brass knob of the door. It swung open without a sound and he gave you a quick, wide-eyed stare filled with a warning you couldn’t interpret, before looking away.

“Well?” The Stranger questioned from over your shoulder. You could smell his cologne now; husky with a hint of sweet orange.

His words were an invitation if you’d ever heard one. And you didn’t want to look like a bluenose, a prude, so you stepped inside without hesitation. Though perhaps you should have taken Felix’s unspoken warning, for you had no idea just what it was that you were walking into.

Inside the cramped room was filled with a haze of cigar smoke, which wasn’t unusual at all. What was, however, was the group of six men sitting at the circular table as you rounded the corner with the Stranger at your back. They were beautiful, all of them. A huge contrast to the usual rabble that came to play. Hell, even underneath the dim light you couldn't spot a single flaw on them.

No one noticed your entrance at first.

Well, at least not until the Stranger cleared his throat. “Gentleman.”

His greeting sounded like it toed somewhere on the line between amusement and respect.

All movement in the room came to a halt as six men looked up from where they’d been bent over the blackjack table. If you’d been a little less prideful and a lot more careful, then perhaps the overbearing confidence that bled from their pores would have given you pause. But as it was, you stood standing, back straight and head held high. Even while their eyes roamed your figure like tigers behind a cage at the zoo right before feeding time.

A pause hovered in the air, lingering with a tension that crawled onto your skin. What seemed like hours passed merely in seconds before it was broken.

“And who’s this?” The question came from the fella who sat in the chair closest to where you stood. He was turned around with his arm propped up on the back of it, head tilted to the side in curiosity. His hair was styled similar to the Stranger’s, though his was darker and the gel pushed through the strands made it gleam silver beneath the dim lamp that hung above the table.

High cheekbones and skin the same color as molten honey, his jaw worked around a piece of gum stuck between his teeth. A smirk pulled up at the corner of his mouth, dark eyes glittering with a touch of interest. With a black and white suit that complimented the shade of his hair, the man was nothing if not a billboard: flashy. Handsome.

“I found bunny here outside arguing with Felix. Something about wanting to play a few rounds of blackjack. Isn’t that right?” The Stranger placed a heavy palm between your shoulder blades. What might have been intended to come off as comforting, only succeeded in making you feel the opposite. Like you were being put on display.

You didn’t let it show on your face. “That’s right.”

“Oh?” Gum Chewer’s smirk grew broader at that, but he said nothing else. Just leaned back in his chair.

“What do you say, should we let her play?” Blond hair, pink kissable lips and dangerous, dangerous eyes. The slim man sitting next to Gum Chewer was attractive in a pretty way that made you envious of his easy-on-the-eyes looks.

While the question may have been asked to the whole room, none of them answered it. Instead they looked towards one of the men sitting in the middle who had yet to speak. If you’d thought the rest of them were a sight for sore eyes, well, they had nothing on him. How your attention hadn’t been drawn to him the moment you walked through the door, you didn’t know.

He wasn’t even looking at you and you already felt tongue-tied. Busying himself with shuffling the cards in his hands against the green felt table, the expensive looking rings adorning his slender fingers caught your eye. He was what your mother would’ve called a timeless beauty. The type of handsome that meant he could walk the streets of the city in nothing but a sack and he’d have women throwing themselves at his feet.

Hair the same shade as a moonless sky made him look intimidating, like he belonged to the shadows themselves. A straight nose, cupid bow lips and long eyelashes that would make any broad jealous; he gave off the type of power that could make even the bravest of men cower at his feet. The longer he took to respond, the more the room grew still. As if your fate was in the hands of a man who’s name you didn’t even know.

Though perhaps it was.

A muffled thud echoed throughout the room as he tapped the deck of cards against the table once, twice, before sliding them over to the fella to his left. Plucking up the glass of scotch in front of him, he finally looked up. And graced you with the prettiest chocolate brown eyes you’d ever seen.

“What’s your name, dollface?”

tagged: @bewitch-me @jxngkooksthxghs @kaitswrld @clarissalance @namurkive @ifntelyinspirit @kotaevln @red--aren @ggukkieland @moonlitmyg @i-like-puppy-mg @aianloveseven @drumsofheaven @figurativehoe00 @wonhoandonly @wacdon @hear-me-growl @milaridez7 @1088x1088 @alana-ba @vlntaeg

#bangtanarmynet #networkbangtan #magicshopnet #btsbookclub #ficswithluv #bts #kim taehyung #taehyung smut #jungkook #jimin #namjoon #hoseok #seokjin #yoongi

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alwaysmychoices · 3 years ago

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Where I Think the OH Gang Ends Up - HCs

After 3 books of falling in love with these characters, I thought I’d share my HCs for where these characters end up - including some about Charlie and Ethan’s future. Obviously, this varies because I’m a Ethan romancer, so I could make different versions depending on your LI. Included is where they live, their jobs, and their personal lives.

If you have any questions/HCs, feel free to reach out, and I hope you enjoy this!

Location: Boston, MA

Career: Diagnostician Specializing in Pediatrics

After her residency, Sienna worked at Edenbrook for a year before deciding to complete a fellowship in Pediatrics at Edenbrook, where she focused on diagnostics in children, particularly in conditions that are rare or difficult to diagnose.

During her fellowship, this field proved difficult mentally and emotionally, but Sienna’s resilience and strength, coupled with her passion for her patients, made her a leading figure in her field.

She stayed on at Edenbrook, where she bridged the gap between pediatrics and diagnostics.

Personal Life:

When all her friends started leaving Boston after residency, Sienna acted as the “glue” holding them together. She organized Zoom calls, visits, and group vacations. She also gets the best gossip as a result.

She stayed close with the whole group and regularly sees those who remained in Boston.

She still goes to see Danny’s mom for coffee and fresh baked goods.

Sienna met her husband through work. Her patient’s fourth-grade class organized a trip to show their support for their classmate. Andy was their teacher. Six months after they started dating, Sienna knew Andy was the one. She was baking cookies for her next meeting with Danny’s mom, and Andy not only offered to go with her but started helping her bake.

The gang is still very protective of Sienna – so much so that they all rushed to meet Andy to see if they approved. After all, only the best could deserve her.

When Sienna and Andy got married, everyone was so happy for them. But they were probably even happier a few years later when they started their family.

It took some adjustments, but Sienna adapted to her new work and family life balance like a pro – even if it meant she barely slept for those first few years.

Location: Boston, MA

Career: Diagnostician, Co-Head of the Diagnostics Team, Department Head

At the culmination of her residency, Charlie Greene probably could have gone anywhere she wanted, but she wanted to stay with her team. Even as she watched some of her friends go off to start new lives, she felt committed to Edenbrook.

However, it would have been easy for Ethan to stifle her career ambitions purely by taking up too much room and not leaving enough for her to grow. He wanted her to prosper though, so he had to step back when necessary.

Over time, the team dynamic shifted so that they were leading it together, so she deserved the title.

She proved to be an excellent doctor, teammate, researcher, and leader. So, when she was named head of the department many years later, it was an honor well deserved – even if it was one she later started to appreciate less once she realized the amount of paperwork involved.

She’s worked hard for everything she’s achieved, and she’s not done achieving it.

Personal Life:

Charlie married Ethan Ramsey, and after everything they’d been through, saying those vows came with a sigh of relief and joy.

Despite conversations about leaving Boston to be closer to family, they never did. Boston had become home.

They started a family with children, dogs, and a townhouse. They invited Ethan’s dad and Charlie’s parents to holidays, and Charlie’s friends had an open invitation to visit her.

It would be wrong to say that everything was easy, but they were happy.

Location: Boston, MA → Stanford, CA → Boston, MA

Career: Researcher & Attending at a Medical School & its Affiliated Hospital

Elijah went straight into research at Edenbrook after his residency. After a few years of learning from his coworkers and growing as a researcher, he published his research. He received the opportunity to leave Edenbrook and join a research team at Stanford University, and it was too good of an offer to pass up.

Elijah spent the next few years researching at Stanford as an academic, but once their research was published, he decided that pure academia wasn’t the right environment for him.

His impeccable research skills and high recommendations earned him job offers at university-affiliated teaching hospitals where he could do research and engage with patients. He accepted a position in Boston that met his research needs and brought him closer to home.

Elijah’s research contributions went on to help countless patients.

He continued to publish his research and lead several teams, all the way until he was leading his very own lab. By the end of his career, he was a top lecturer at a premier medical school.

Personal Life:

At the end of their residency, Elijah was the least afraid of the distance now separating him from his friends. His familiarity with his technology and his love for the gang meant that he was ready to keep them so digitally connected that they hardly noticed the separation.

Still, he missed them. And he missed Boston when he left, too.

Elijah was never too concerned about finding a partner, so he wouldn’t have minded ending up alone. In fact, for a long time, he thought he would.

Then, he met a fellow researcher, Alicia, at a convention. They bonded over their favorite comic books and their work. Though Alicia lived in Connecticut, they started dating, and within a few years, they were married in Boston. A few years later, they had kids and a shared google calendar blocking out their research days and family time.

Location: Miami, FL

Career: Surgeon

As the star resident, Bryce wasn’t particularly surprised when Edenbrook offered him a full-time position at the culmination of his residency. He fully intended it to take it, too.

But then there was the recruiter from Miami. He entertained the offer primarily for his ego, but something about it struck a nerve. One of his career idols was offering to take him under wing there, and even though Bryce had finished his residency, there was still so much he wanted to learn. He only visited to find out more – not because he intended to accept – but Miami allured him. The familiar heat, sea breeze, and electric energy captivated him.

It was a difficult decision, but ultimately, Bryce packed his bags and moved to Miami (even if he secretly cried about it and facetimed his friends constantly).

There, he prospered and honed his skills as a young surgeon.

When MC (Charlie) visits, it’s clear that Bryce and his mentor have a very similar relationship to that of Ethan and Naveen. So, it isn’t a surprise when Bryce assumes his mentor’s role after his retirement and heads the department – nor is it a surprise when Bryce’s surgical prowess became known outside Miami.

Bryce’s favorite achievement is the Lahela Method, a surgical method he developed, perfected, and popularized.

Personal Life:

Having finished his residency two years after everyone else, he thought he would be ready to leave Boston and his friends, but he wasn’t. They had become his family, and even with their strong bond and efforts to stay close, he missed them.

Leaving for Miami was difficult, but he made friends and kept in touch with the gang.

Bryce was too focused on work to ever start a serious relationship. He preferred casual flings and short romances to long-term relationships.

He’d been in Miami for two years when Kyra came into town for her extended visit. She only planned to stay in his guest room for two weeks, but she ended up staying for a month. He didn’t mind. In fact, he encouraged her to stay. He missed her and liked having her around – so much so that he convinced her to move to Miami.

Kyra was always looking for an adventure, and Miami looked like one. She moved in a few blocks from Bryce, and despite her intentions to soak up Miami, they basically spent all their time together.

He wasn’t sure when he fell in love with her.

But he did. Their friendship turned into a friendship with benefits. Then that got complicated with feelings. Then those feelings became more than feelings. And before either knew it, they were irrevocably in love. Despite never wanting to be tied down, they were tied to each other.

Bryce proposed, but it took them over a year to set a date because they were too busy living their crazy lives. They had so many plans – trips they wanted to take, a house they wanted to buy, and kids they might want to have – but they’re finding their way on their adventure.

Location: Miami, FL

Career: Influencer & Author

Though Kyra enjoyed working at Edenbrook (and really liked making money instead of incurring medical debt), she wouldn’t say that working in hospital administration was her dream.

She became restless, and she traded hospital administration for a series of other jobs.

Kyra started posting more and more on social media, and as she became more comfortable, she started being vulnerable about her health, the scars it left, and how she moved forward. She built a community of people experiencing similar things, and it sparked a passion in her.

Kyra dedicated her time to learning about social media to grow her following and continue sharing resources. A few of her posts went viral, and that was the catalyst to start her career.

After sharing content for a while, Kyra had the opportunity to publish her memoirs – a witty, funny look at her life that was inspiring, hilarious, and beloved by many.

Personal Life:

Kyra didn’t just become restless in her professional life. She also became restless in Boston. She did all the things to do in the city – explored all the crevices and exploited all the excitement. Even though she had been in remission for years, she still craved a full and exciting life.

She started traveling, often to the cities where she had friends who let her crash on their couch.

That’s how she got to Miami.

And how she inadvertently fell in love with Bryce Lahela.

Kyra and Bryce loved their life, and they lived it to the fullest. They took risks. They ate interesting dishes, went to exotic locations, and learned new things. They visited their friends and became the cool aunt and uncle to their families.

Kyra stayed in remission. To celebrate five cancer-free years, she and Bryce got matching buzz-cuts. On the next anniversary, they got matching tattoos.

Location: Washington D.C.

Career: Diagnostician & Activist

Jackie never intended to become an activist for healthcare reform, but once she stumbled into it, she developed a passion for the work after her unfortunate involvement with Panacea Labs. She even moved to D.C. to pursue lobbying.

She kept working as a diagnostician, but as her involvement in healthcare reform increased, she took a lesser load at the hospital so she could start working as an activist professionally. As a healthcare professional herself, she took her experience and used it to inform her activism and her lobbying to encourage Big Pharma reform.

She also worked with nonprofits to help struggling doctors and med students like herself find resources and emphasize ethics.

A woman on a mission, nothing could stop her.

Personal Life:

Though Jackie found her passion in D.C., she didn’t find the love of her life as easily. She was too busy to make anything work. She stumbled in and out of relationships. Her true companion became her dog and her high-rise apartment.

Jackie might not have been able to maintain a romance, but she maintained her friendships. She visited frequently and adored their children.

She liked being in charge, and she liked having things her way. It probably serves her right to have fallen in love with the only woman more stubborn than her.

Sonia was a public service lawyer, and she and Jackie spent their time bickering and adoring each other. They were both career-driven and supported each other’s mission.

Location: New York City, NY

Career: Head of Diagnostics

Aurora spent her time in Boston making peace with her aunt’s legacy, but at the end of Aurora’s residency, she was ready to start her career and make a mark of her own.

In New York, she started working for a diagnostics department, and she earned a spot on the diagnostics team once it was formed. She worked hard. She made a name for herself. She proved that Harper wasn’t the only Dr. Emery to keep an eye on.

Once on the team, she helped elevate it to the point that it rivaled her own hospital, Edenbrook. She often came into contact with her friend, MC (Charlie). The teams even competed on occasion.

Aurora beat MC by becoming the first to head a diagnostics team.

She was an excellent leader and an exemplary physician. The team prospered, and the rivalry with Edenbrook playfully continued.

Personal Life:

For Aurora, career and academic efforts came easily, but interpersonal affairs were treacherous. Still, after finding friends in Boston, she was determined to maintain those friendships and develop new ones in New York.

The friends she made in residency were now her family, and she kept in touch.

In New York, Aurora was slow to make friends, but she did. She formed a close bond with her team and shared an apartment with a team member for a time.

Like her aunt, Aurora went without romantic commitment – until she started research with Dr. Alice Montgomery. Aurora fell head over heels, and despite a few stops and starts, they started a happy, healthy relationship.

Location: Boston, MA → Brazil → Boston, MA

Career: Physical Therapist at Edenbrook

Personal Life

Rafael took the big leap and moved to Brazil. He spent two amazing years living in Brazil, traveling and making unforgettable memories before moving back to Boston.

Once back, he thought about saving up for more travels and spending his young adulthood moving around the globe, but after he got home, he couldn’t bear to leave for that long again. He opted for vacations instead and reinvested in his community.

Leaving his childhood neighborhood didn’t stop him from being an active community member. He volunteered regularly and made friends almost everywhere he went.

Of course, he also went back to his neighborhood to see his family regularly, but he liked having the independence of his own place and his own community.

Once he married and started talking about having children, Raf moved back to his childhood neighborhood so he could raise his child with the same level of community and love he experienced.

When everyone came back into town, they always stopped by his place for good food and an even better friend.

He stayed in touch with everyone, especially during his travels, and his friends had an open invitation to visit.

#open heart #open heart 3 #choices #choices stories you play #ethan ramsey #sienna trinh #bryce lahela #aurora emery #rafael aveiro #Jackie Varma #Elijah greene #pixelberry #Kyra santana #still can't decide if I like this but I made it so here we go

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castiel-kline · 3 years ago

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happy birthday @angelfishofthelord !!!

here’s Cas being Old and talking about dinosaurs to hopefully make you smile <3

---

“Hey, there you are!”

Castiel is tucked in a corner of the library when Dean’s voice startles him out of the book he’s reading. He stands up, a million things that could have gone wrong racing through his imagination at top speed.

“Dean. Is everything alright?”

He waves a hand in dismissal. “Yeah, no worries. Me, Sam and Jack are gonna watch Jurassic Park. You wanna join us?”

Castiel wrinkles his nose. He’s seen stills from that movie, and those plus the references Dean has made to it over the years make it sound like an inaccuracy-riddled insult to the beautiful creatures he once watched over.

But Cas has never been one to refuse time with his family, so he follows Dean through the bunker’s halls and takes a seat next to Jack on the sofa.

Sam passes him a bowl of popcorn.

“You made it!” he says, looking uncharacteristically relaxed. It’s… nice.

“Of course,” Castiel says, passing the popcorn to Jack’s eager hands and returning the boy’s smile. He’ll enjoy it more than Cas will. He cares much more about the people than the snacks or the film, anyway.

He takes in Sam’s easy smile again, and the calm in Dean’s posture where he stands preparing the DVD. Even Jack looks toward the blank television screen in excited anticipation, despite having learned by now not to trust Dean’s taste in cinema. Jack much preferred getting to explore films on his own, and Castiel was always thrilled to be included in his late night Netflix adventures.

He clears his throat, unsure why he’s so nervous. He does like dinosaurs, after all. “So… you like this movie, right?”

“Hell yeah we do,” Dean says. “Sam and I watched it in theaters when it first came out. He wouldn’t shut up about velociraptors for months.”

“I was ten,” Sam protests, pink creeping across his cheeks. “Besides, it wasn’t even velociraptors. It was... dilophosaurus.” He’d trailed off into a barely audible mumble in his embarrassment, but it was still loud enough for Dean to hear.

“Oh, that’s right!” he laughs, eyes alight with the delighted gleam of a sibling collecting ammunition to tease with. “He’d sit in the library for hours searching for any mention of the damn thing. I always said he’d be better off with a T. Rex obsession like a normal kid, but no-o.”

Castiel leans over, nodding in Sam’s direction. “Well, I think dilophosaurus is a very good choice of favorite dinosaur.”

Sam looks surprised, and Jack, who’d been watching the conversation like a tennis match, looks to Cas directly.

“You know about dinosaurs?”

Castiel frowns, confused. “Yeah, of course I do.”

They’re cut off by Dean, who keeps talking as he’s sitting down on Jack’s other side with the remote control.

“Could’ve sworn we watched this one with you before, Cas. When we found it at that movie rental place in Minnesota, after that ghoul hunt?”

“We would’ve,” says Sam, tone caked in playful bitterness. “But you wanted to get Mars Attacks instead, remember?”

Dean looks a bit sheepish. “Hey, sometimes you need a good B movie after a day of ganking monsters. Today, though, we gotta get the kid another check off the list of Spielberg must-sees, right? Cas, too. We’ve waited long enough as is.”

Castiel has just enough time to hope once more that this movie is of a better quality than many of Dean’s other favorites, and then his thoughts are swept away by the opening sequence lighting up the television.

---

Jack enjoyed the movie immensely. He liked the scares and the way it made his heart beat faster. He liked the way Dr. Grant was so protective of the kids. Most of all, of course, he liked the dinosaurs.

He’d found a book about them the other day when he was cleaning in the library with Sam, and when Dean overheard their conversation he immediately suggested this movie.

Jack thought Cas would be just as interested in dinosaurs as he was, but the angel spent the whole movie with a frown on his face and a furrow between his eyes.

As the brothers stand up, Dean to turn on the lights and Sam to collect the empty snack bowls, Jack nudges Cas’ arm with his elbow.

“Are you okay?”

Cas meets Jack’s gaze with gentle eyes.

“I’m fine. I- I thought that the ending was a bit sad.”

Jack frowns. “How was it sad? Almost everyone got off the island.”

“That’s not…” Cas shakes his head, and takes a moment to compose himself before giving Jack a small smile. “You don’t need to worry about me, Jack. It just made me remember when the dinosaurs died.”

Shocked silence falls upon the room like a fog. Jack knows he’s gaping in disbelief, and feels Sam and Dean doing the same.

Cas glances around, taking in everyone’s surprise. “What’s wrong?”

“Dude,” Dean says. “Did you… are you…”

“Were you really there when the dinosaurs died?” Sam manages, sounding strained.

Cas answers slowly, eyes narrowed. “Yes? It was very sad, but it was a long time ago. I’ve had time to mourn.”

“But you were there!” Dean repeats, dumbfounded. Cas continues staring.

“Yes, Dean, I was there.”

“I mean, what- what was it like?” Sam asks, wonder in his eyes.

“Well, um. It was hot. And fiery.”

“It was hot and fiery,” Dean says, broken record. “Wow.”

“I don’t understand. Why are you… why is this such a surprise? I thought the dinosaurs’ extinction was common knowledge.”

“Yeah, but talking to someone who saw it is… it’s amazing,” Sam says. If he wasn’t holding the butter-greased popcorn bowls, Jack is sure he would be gesturing every which way. “Why didn’t you tell us about it before?”

Cas blinks. “I didn’t know that you were interested. I thought if you wanted to know, you’d just ask me.”

“Dude. We didn’t know we could ask! I mean, we knew you were older than the pyramids, but the dinosaurs? That’s, what, fifty million years?”

“Sixty-five,” chime Sam and Jack, in unison.

“Wait a minute, how old do you think I am?”

That gives them pause. Jack exchanges hopeless glances with Sam and Dean, the three of them clambering for any exact number in the recesses of their minds. Jack draws a blank, both because Cas doesn’t really talk about his past and because time is a little twisted for him to begin with.

He knows he’s almost two, and that two years is not a long time, but to Jack it feels like forever.

He knows his mother was thirty-nine when she died, and he knows Sam and Dean are hovering somewhere near forty. Cas has lived millions of years, and though Jack can’t quite wrap his mind around that vast length of time, he knows that makes Cas near eternal. Like Jack’s supposed to grow up to be.

Oddly, it’s a comforting thought.

“How old are you?” He asks it to put an end to the silence, and because he’s realized he really wants to know the answer.

Cas hesitates, brow creasing in thought. “It’s hard to say. The first thing I really remember is the tiktaalik, so I suppose that makes me…”

“Holy shit,” Sam breathes. He must know what the tiktaalik is, Jack thinks. He’ll have to ask about it later.

“Three and a half billion. Approximately,” Castiel finishes.

Jack can almost hear Dean’s jaw hit the floor.

“That old, huh?” Dean asks. His voice is strained, and he sounds faint.

“I might be closer to four billion, actually,” Cas muses.

“Okay, whoa,” Sam interjects, before Dean’s brain melts entirely. “That’s… that’s really impressive, Cas.”

“I- really?”

“Yeah, man,” Dean manages. But Cas still doesn’t look convinced, so Jack speaks up.

“You’re prehistoric!” he says. “I think that’s really special.”

Cas takes a long moment to respond, inexplicably looking younger as he processes their praise. It’s like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders- like for the first time in eons he feels like the years behind him, drenched in blood and pain and regret as they are, can be a gift rather than a curse.

Sam and Dean clap Castiel on the shoulder and take their leave from the room, the elder brother murmuring something about “antique angels” as they go.

Jack steps closer to Cas, clearing his throat.

“I, um. I found a book about dinosaurs the other day. Dean said that this movie would be educational, but… I was wondering if you could tell me about them? I don’t think I learned very much.”

“I would be happy to.” Cas smiles, reaching out to squeeze Jack’s shoulder. “This film wasn’t very accurate, anyway.”

“Really? How?”

“Well, for one thing, most of those dinosaurs didn’t even live during the same millennium. And they weren’t nearly so lizard-like. They had feathers.”

Jack responds in kind, whispering conspiratorially: “Like birds?”

“Sort of. Come on, I’ll draw some for you.”

Jack follows his father out of the room, smiling from ear to ear. Though the full scope of Castiel’s age remains far beyond his comprehension, Jack thinks it’s incredible. With all those years behind him, it’s no wonder that Cas is such a good parent.

Time is a teacher, and Cas has had a long life in which to learn. He has so much wisdom to share- and it’s not all about the dinosaurs, not because of the things he’s seen or the battles he’s won.

No, Castiel shines brighter than the most beautiful of stars. It’s a brilliance that comes from the inside out, forged through fire and pain and a heart stronger than diamond no matter how many times it’s broken.

Castiel shines with four billion years of love.

#hope you like it!#castiel #team free will 2.0 #my fic #spn fanfic #kitkat writes

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hoboal87 · 4 years ago

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Carry On

Pairing : Sam x Reader, Platonic!Dean x Reader

Summary : One year after defeating Chuck, Sam and Dean are still hunting, but you’ve quit the life. When the boys take a vacation that quickly turns into a hunt, none of you expect it to change your lives forever.

Characters : Y/N, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, mentions of Bobby, Jody, Donna and the Girls

Word Count : 3.1k (I tried to keep it below 3k, but...😕)

Warnings : SPOILERS FOR 15X20, Angst, Feels, Fluff (it gets a little gross at the end), A Sprinkling of Pre-Smut, Pregnancy

A/N : This will keep the canon of the finale, and takes place during and after 15x20, but with an added reader insert. This was written as a sequel to “The Tie” but can be read as a stand-alone.

A/N 2 : This is my entry for @negans-lucille-tblr “6k Roll the Dice Challenge.” My prompt is “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace,” which is bolded.

No Beta, all mistakes are my own.

Check out my Masterlist here

You pull another book down from the library wall; everything has been relatively quiet since Jack took over Heaven, Rowena has put a leash on the demons, the only monsters you and the boys had to worry about were run-of-the-mill, so to speak. Adjusting to this new life is easier than you thought it would be, using the last year to learn that without the necessity to hunt, you and Sam were finally free to live your own lives. After Chuck was rendered powerless, you decided to give up hunting for good. Sam won't, you know that, Sam and Dean had been hunting their whole lives, but you were thrust into the life.

You make your way back towards your shared room with Sam, twirling the small diamond ring on your finger, passing Dean’s along the way. You peer inside, glad to see that the once mass trove of empty beer and whiskey bottles were gone. Sure, there’s still a few bottles strewn throughout the room, but nothing like it was before. In the months following Cas’ death, Dean had been a shell of himself, drinking himself into an early grave. He never told you or Sam exactly how Cas summoned the empty, or why it took him along with Billie. Dean always kept himself bottled up, until he would explode, letting his grief out by way of yelling and screaming. Cas’ trench was usually hanging in the corner, but it wasn’t there now, Dean must’ve taken it with him. Dean was still in pain, that much was clear.

Sam and Dean are off at some pie fest, and you opted to stay behind. You waved the boys off, asking Dean to eat a pie just for you. Sam and Dean needed this; brother time. It was something that rarely happened since you joined them over five years ago, even before you were with Sam, you, Cas or Jack were always tagging along. You saw it as the perfect opportunity to take some time for yourself as well, figuring out where you and Sam would go from here. Sam talked about going back to school, finishing his degree and applying to Law School again, he even had you buy him books on LSAT prep. You talked at length about taking the next steps in your relationship, you couldn’t ever get legally married, but you starting planning a ceremony anyway. Before Chuck was gone, you were content to just be, never needing more, afraid that it would be ripped out from under you the minute you let your guard down.

As you settle into your and Sam’s bed, book in hand, you feel as the weight that’s been sitting on your chest has finally lifted, you can breathe. It's been years since you've been able to truly relax, and as much fun as a pie fest sounded, you wanted to stay at the bunker, taking comfort in your and Sam's shared room. They’d only been gone a few days, but you already missed Sam terribly, pathetic, you know. Never in your life would you have imagined wanting and needing someone like you did Sam. The next morning you wake up to a text from Sam. The brothers mini-vacation quickly turned into a vampire hunt, a nest John had hunted years ago. The boys could handle it, you know that much, it's a milk run compared to everything they've fought over the years. Be Safe, Love You. You responded and went on with your day.

Sam always keeps you in the loop when he and Dean go on a hunt without you, providing you with a source of comfort knowing that they’ve killed the bad guy or solved the mystery. But now, they’ve been silent for too long, a nest of Vamps shouldn’t take more than a few days, and you start to worry. You’re heading towards the garage, determined to track down Sam and Dean, and lay it on thick about how worried you were when they went silent. You’re about to open the door to the garage when it swings open and Sam’s long body fills the frame. It startles you at first, even causing Miracle to bark in surprise. You throw your arms around Sam, all anger gone now that he’s back home with you.

“Don’t ever do that again!” You scold Sam. “You know how much I hate it when you and Dean stop responding.” You want to be mad, but you’re so focused on the fact that Sam’s back home with you again, that nothing else seems to matter. “If you’re gonna keep hunting you have to keep me in the loop,” you mumble.

Sam’s body stiffens against your touch. It takes him a minute, but he reciprocates your hug, pulling you tight against him. You stand there, waiting for some smart remark from Dean, normally barking at the two of you to get a room, but there’s nothing but the echo of the Impala’s engine filling the air. You try to pull away from Sam, but his grip around you only tightens, this hunt must have been more difficult than he or Dean anticipated. Head pressed against Sam’s chest, you can hear his heart thumping loudly and rapidly. Dean would never let you and Sam hold on to each other as long as you have.

“Sammy?” You whisper, trying to pull away again. Sam’s grip finally loosens, but his hands don’t leave you as you take a small step back. Your eyes travel upwards, finally landing on Sam’s face, his eyes are bloodshot and puffy, almost as if he has been crying. “Sam? What’s wrong?”

Sam shakes his head as tears fill his eyes.

“Where’s Dean?” You ask as you watch Sam slowly break down. His head nods towards the Impala, and you pull away completely from Sam’s embrace.

You run towards the Impala as fast as your legs can carry you, a swing open the back door, hoping to see Dean’s shining emerald eyes. Tears blur your vision faster than you can comprehend what you’re seeing. Dean’s lifeless body lays in the back seat, all color drained from him. You scan him desperately, waiting for some kind of sign that this is all a cruel prank, that he and Sam were trying to get one over you for not coming with them on this hunt.

But, there’s nothing.

You scream out, falling to your knees, Dean was just as much your brother as he was Sam’s, he was your best friend, and now, he’s gone. Your cries fill the otherwise silent garage, he can’t be dead, not like this, not on some vampire hunt, something he’s done a hundred times before. Not when you know that he was looking to settle down, find some normalcy, or at least normal for him. He deserved to live, he didn’t deserve to die at the hands of a monster.

Dean wasn’t going to be there when you and Sam got married, when you told Sam about the baby you were carrying. God, how were you going to tell him that? Dean was going to help you surprise Sam, as soon as they came home, he was going to start dropping hints, see how long it took Sam to figure it out. But now, you stared at his body, tearing streaming down your face, you couldn’t stop crying if you wanted to. Sam’s strong arms wrap around you, holding you close to him, and you both sit on the floor, unable to do anything but mourn the loss of the elder Winchester.

Through your sobs, you can hear Sam trying to offer you some comfort, assuring you that he went down saving the victims. You could barely process anything he was saying, and if this is how you felt, you can’t even begin to imagine how he feels. Dean was the only real family that Sam had left, there had to be a way to get him back.

“No, baby,” Sam murmurs in your ear through his tears, “I promised him. No bringing him back.” You didn’t realize you had said it out loud. “He wants us to keep going, he wants us to live.”

Three days later you’re surrounded by all the family you’d gained through the boys. Jody, Donna, Claire, Bobby and Charlie plus too many people to keep track of. You and Sam had already given Dean his proper send-off, dividing his ashes between the graveyard where Mary and John were buried and keeping the rest for yourselves. Jody told the story of the first time she’d met the brothers over ten years ago and how she’d come to think of the boys as surrogate sons. Claire talked about the time she and Dean went mini-golfing and how offended he was when she didn’t understand his Caddyshack references. The bunker was full laughter, it was Dean told you he wanted all those years ago.

You and Sam couldn’t stay in the Bunker after that. You’d left it open to all hunters, you’d still come back occasionally, but it was no longer home. You and Sam packed up most of your and Dean’s things, fitting as much as you could into the Impala, knowing that the two rooms would always be off limits to future hunters. Sam nearly slides into the passenger seat when you leave, and you can see it hitting him all over again. Dean’s gone.

You drive around the country for a few weeks, unsure of where to make your new home. Neither of you ever had a real home before moving into the Bunker, and you were the only family you had left now. You settle in Sioux Falls, Jody and the girls were there, Donna was close enough, and if need be, you could be back in Lebanon in a matter of 5 hours.

You find a small house close to where Bobby’s used to be, it is still a salvage yard, but Bobby’s house is long gone. As the weeks pass you don’t know how much longer you can keep your pregnancy hidden from Sam. Every time you try to tell him, it feels wrong; you are both still grieving the loss of Dean, and Sam has fallen into a deep depression. You have Jody take you to your doctor appointments, and she scolds you for not telling Sam, but when she drops you at your new home, and sees the current state of Sam, she backs off.

At your next appointment, she laughs and cries with you when you learn that you were carrying a boy, Dean. When you first told Dean that you were pregnant, he immediately insisted that the newest Winchester should be named after him, “boy or girl!” He insisted, “I’m named after a Deanna.”

“I think the world only needs one Dean Winchester,” you retorted playfully. Now, it seems the perfect way to carry on Dean’s legacy.

When you leave the doctors, you finally realize how obvious it is that you’re pregnant, your stomach rounding out perfectly under your shirt. You’re almost insulted that Sam hasn’t noticed your ever-growing stomach and the extra pounds you’ve put on over the last month, but he hasn't been himself since Dean died. You hadn’t been intimate with him since you settled into your new house, and he spends most of his day sleeping or in a fugue-like state.

Jody insists on taking you shopping for baby supplies, and by the end you’ve got a shopping cart onesies, blankets, something called a diaper genie, and many other things you didn’t even know you needed. As you walk through the store an iron-on name display catches your eye, and you make your way towards it. The names are written in large cursive lettering, and you hope that you can find the right one. You nearly squeal when you do, and find a plain onesie to attach it to.

You’re glad that the baby store carries labeless bags, especially when Sam is up and about when you get home. He looks good today, he’s slightly sweaty, and you know that he left the house and went for a run. He greets you with a quick kiss, a sheen of sweat covering his face, and makes for your room. He eyes the bags in your hands, but doesn’t say anything, and a few minutes later you can hear the shower running. Thank God, you sigh and take the bags into an empty room, Miracle following closely behind you. You set the bags down in what will be baby Dean’s nursery, Jody’s right, you think, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do.

You find the onesie and the iron-on decal, you place it in the center and carefully attach the decal. After letting it cool you tuck it into a small gift bag. You hear the shower turn off, and make your way back into your bedroom, placing the bag on your bedside table, waiting for Sam to exit the bathroom. You can’t help but stare at him appreciatively when he opens the door, a towel wrapped around his waist. You’re suddenly very aware of how long it's been since you’d been with him. Sam catches you eyeing him, and smirks, sending a jolt straight down to your core. You missed this, not just the sex, but how he takes charge with you, his domineering presence making you melt. He leans over you, and places a tender yet eager kiss on your lips.

You reach for the towel, letting it slide onto the floor as Sam deepens the kiss, and start to work him over in your hands. Sam groans at your touch, and starts to pull at your shirt, pulling his face away just long enough to rid you of it. Sam’s lips are back on yours just as quickly as they were gone. His hands palm at your breasts, and you moan into his hands reach into the overflowing cups, you really loved your pregnancy boobs, but your bras were doing very little to keep them in place. Sam’s hands travel to your back, and undos your bra, letting your breasts fall free. Sam finally opens his eyes when his hands land on your protruding stomach and takes a few steps back.

He quickly pulls on a pair of sweatpants as you pull your shirt back over your head, trying you best not to cry as he starts pacing the floor of your bedroom. You wait for him to say something, anything; you weren’t trying when you realized you were pregnant. You’d just gone off your birth control, and everyone told you it would take at least a few months for your body to get back to its natural cycle. You both knew it was possible but figured you’d have at least 6 months before really actively trying for a baby.

Sam’s face is almost unreadable; you can’t tell if he’s happy or mad, if he’ll tell you it’s too soon, that he’s not ready. He opens and closes his mouth multiple times, as if he can’t figure out what to say. If Dean were here, he’d probably knock him upside his head, telling him this exactly what he’s always wanted.

“How– why–” Sam stammers as you move to the edge of the bed. “Are you– You’re pregnant.” He says it almost as if it’s a question and you nod your head. “How long?” There’s almost an accusation in his voice, you’re sure it’s not intentional, but it doesn’t make you feel any better.

“18 weeks,” you murmur, trying to hold back your tears. “I wanted to tell you sooner, but it’s– it never seemed to be the right time. When you and Dean–” Sam winces at the mention of Dean’s name, you hadn’t said it out loud in almost a month, not since you left the Bunker. “I found out right before you left, I was going to tell you when you got back. But… after… I was afraid that you’d say it wasn’t the right time. That it was too soon.”

“It is too soon,” Sam mutters under his breath, you’re sure it’s not meant to be malicious, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. “You said it would take at least 6 months.”

“It’s different for everyone,” you offer, as Sam runs his hands through his hair, still pacing in front of you. “Please, Sam, can you sit down? You’re freaking me out.” Sam moves to the edge of the bed, and sits down next to you.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Sam whispers, eyeing your belly. “I don’t know how– I don’t know how to be a dad.”

“Yes, you do,” you grab his hand, and place it on your belly. “Dean taught you everything you would ever need to know.”

Sam smiles sadly, “I ever tell you about the night I left for Stanford?” You shake your head. “Dad and me, we got into this huge fight. So of course, Dean steps in– gets between us, attempts to calm us, but we were both just– just too fucking stubborn to listen.” He removes his hand, focusing down on them as he fidgets. “When dad said don’t come back, I called his bluff, and I was– I was so pissed at Dean, I thought he was taking Dad’s side, that I didn’t even say bye to him. I didn’t have it myself to go with grace. I walked away from him, the only family that I had, and I regretted it for years. I- I feel like he should be the one here, that- that we’re moving on too quickly.”

“Dean, he– he wouldn’t want you, us, to live like this, we owe it to him to keep fighting, to live our lives. I know how much you miss him,” a tear slips from Sam’s eye. “I miss him too, but you know what keeps me going everyday?” Sam shakes his head, and you take his hand in yours again, and place it back on the swell of your belly just as little Dean decides to kick for the first time. The smile on Sam’s face is instant, you can’t stop the happy tears from falling as Sam shifts in front of you, and lays his head on your swollen stomach. “Our son.”

Sam cries, truly cries for the first time since the day he brought home Dean’s body. You hold him against you, he’s been so pent up for the last 3 months, bottling up his emotions, he needs this, you both do. You’d been so focused on the baby growing inside of you never realized that you hadn’t realized that Sam had never come to terms with Dean’s death.

“It’s a boy?” Sam asks as his cries cease. “We’re having a son?”

“We’re having a son,” you nod, and hand Sam the gift bag still sitting on your bedside table.

Sam opens the bag, and you smile as he pulls out the green onesie, his eyes lighting up as he reads the lettering.

“You’re sure?” He questions.

“The world lost one Dean Winchester, let’s give it another.”

Please give let me know what you think! Reblog or send an ask

Forever Tags:

@that-one-gay-girl

@akshi8278

#bees6krollthedicechallenge #sam x reader #sam winchester x reader #supernatural spoilers #supernatural fic #spn family #pregnant reader #supernatural #daddy!Sam

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cursed-or-not · 4 years ago

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Castiel has been living between the lines for months.

He used to be better at compartmentalizing; he used to see the stars and feel the lightyears between humanity and divinity and know where he stood. Even when he stopped serving Heaven, when he chose family over faith, he understood something inside of him would always belong to things holier than himself.

These days, though, he dances across the lines he once drew, blurring them with every reckless choice and recalcitrant hope. He takes a step forward, and he can eat without tasting molecules; he takes a step back, and he can heal a human with one touch (though even that no longer comes easily). He isn’t sure a line even exists anymore between what he is and what he feels. Maybe it never did. Or maybe he’s fallen so far he can no longer see it when he looks up.

Cas knows that he loves, though he does not know the parameters. He’s learned there are different kinds of love, and some he is certain of, though some are still blurred and messy and incomplete. No matter what, he’s sure he knows what family feels like.

Now, he is sure he cannot keep it.

The realization hurt when it first came, but he is tired. Tired of hurting the people he loves, tired of carrying the weight of the world. Tired of carrying on.

Even as he accepted it, he knew the deal meant he could choose family and then lose it, or he could choose to leave them, never let them in, and maybe he’d live long enough to watch them grow old. But there is no ending where he can do it with them.

He has spent years with them, which may not be much in the lifetime of an angel, but it feels like everything. Jack, he has known for less time, but Jack is his son and his nephilim and the future that keeps him going most days. Sam is his brother, more than any of the angels, and for all the things that Sam has been called by heaven, Cas just calls him family. Dean is— well, Cas struggles to think of something that Dean isn’t to him.

He thinks about his brother and his son and his human, and he’d choose them no matter what.

Before the time comes, he will decide to choose loving longer over living longer. He will brace himself to be taken, but not until he wrings out every ounce of every moment that he’s granted. He will try not to look over his shoulder when Jack makes him laugh or Dean grants him forgiveness or Sam reminds him that they are family, and he will sometimes fail. He will tell them that he loves them. He will not tell them about his deal.

He will try to feel the sun on his skin and think of neither burning—of flying and falling—or of hiding. He will live like Icarus, like a tragedy choosing to happen, like he is not waiting for things to turn dark.

#so im really new to tumblr fic writing??#but i was having lots of Feelings about cas and the deal #so um if anyone wants to be sad with me there’s this...#tfw #castiel #dean winchester #Supernatural #spn fanfic #spn s15 #destiel #destiel fanfic #the empty #mine

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sharkfish · 4 years ago

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love ‘em, can’t live without ‘em: early-career writers!

[masterpost of rec lists]

new content creators are the lifeblood of fandom, so here i present stories by folks who have five or less destiel fics published (...so far) as of december 2020!!!

please give them some love!!!

under the cut since it got long~

the burden of belonging by Newtondale @soft-klaus (8k)

Dean doesn't know where he's going, he just drives.

He meanders. Takes whatever road he wants without worrying about efficiency or speed. He watches the landscape change around him as he heads east, towards the sea. Sometimes he listens to music, and sometimes he doesn’t. Most of the time he just thinks, the way he has always thought best; with an open road ahead and horror close behind.

Cas always comes back to him. Cas has always come back. Whether it takes minutes, or weeks, or months - Cas comes back to him.

But Cas hasn’t come back. How much longer is supposed to wait? Minutes? Months? How long is he supposed to live like this, like there’s nothing else that matters except the space beside him where Cas should be?

So he just drives.

Dean Winchester’s 12-Step Guide to Inebriated Online Retail Therapy for Fallen Angels and Judgemental Brothers With Bad Hair (Suck It, Sammy) by justholdingstill @justholdingstill (3k)

Alternatively titled Dean Wayne: The Life & Legend

Dean gets drunk. Dean orders things online. Hilarity ensues.

Hang-Ups by anupalya @anupalya (2k)

A slip of the tongue while hanging up a zoom meeting with Castiel leaves Dean in a panic.

****

Jsksdjdjskal

I'm starting to think you're letting Blueberry walk over your keyboard again.

i'm moving to Thailand

?????

I have to

Dean

I have no choice

... so I take it the meeting went well?

dream root & fumbling through the darkness by visionsofyerface @omnishamblegreg (1.3k)

Dean takes dream root for some fun angsty wanderings into Cas’s head, and then actually goes to the Empty, but Cas doesn't believe it's really him.

How Long? by MinxyOne93 @substitutesalt93 (WIP - 37k)

Dean has been going on reckless hunts by himself. Cas confronts him and all those years of unresolved pining come to a boiling point.

"Dean. How long?" The angel said, still quiet but so raw with emotion, eyes still wide with shock.

Dean looked down at the floor and sighed. "Since... always. I knew it for sure in Purgatory. But always." He then added in a near whisper, tears threatening to spill from behind his now closed eyelids, "I'm sorry, Cas."

"Sorry? You're sorry?" Castiel felt dumbfounded. The constant loneliness and longing he had sensed from Dean that seemed to grow worse and worse with the passing of years made so much more sense now.

"Dean," was all Cas could say before releasing his grip on his collar and gently, slowly, deliberately, kissing the corner of his mouth. A shocked gasp left Dean’s mouth of its own accord and he melted into Castiel's tight embrace.

It's The Thought That Counts by oceaxe @oceaxe-ifdawn (3k)

It’s Dean’s birthday and while angels have no birthdays, Castiel has a) been around human cultures for long enough to be aware of the nearly universal customs of celebrating the anniversary of a loved one’s birth and b) has been living with humans for long enough that he’s been included in some of those celebrations. But the art of gift-giving continues to elude his comprehension.

Lucky Winner by natmoose @natmoose (32k)

Dean wins a trip to Paris. In and of itself, that’s an amazing thing, but the problem is: he isn’t in a relationship with Lisa anymore, and the trip requires a romantic partner. The obvious choice is Cas, his roommate and best friend of 3 years, but coming with that are some very very complicated feelings and things Dean absolutely doesn’t want to deal with.

But Dean isn’t selfish and also really wants to give his overworked best friend a well deserved holiday, so the only and best solution is to take Cas to Paris, romantic theme be damned. What Dean doesn’t know is that their whole trip will be documented by a photographer from the company - so to avoid their vacation being cut short, Dean and Cas will have to convincingly play a couple.

Once Upon a Falling Star by GrandestBlood @grumpy-mccat (WIP - 3k)

Alternate outcome for season 5's Endverse where Castiel never lost his grace but he was tricked to retreat back to heaven with the other angels, leaving Dean behind in the refugee camp.

Prompt for this was: The world has ended 500 years ago. You finally went back to Earth and discovered a voice message. You learn a shocking secret about 500 years ago.

Sending A Message by ivebeenpossessedbysatan @ivebeenpossessedbysatan (WIP - 15k)

Castiel Novak didn't expect to be kidnapped. Sure, he'd seen it happen before, but that was all in movies. Just because his mother had married into money didn't mean that someone was actually going to kidnap him and try to ransom him for money.

Only apparently it did, because here he was, tied to a chair in the corner of the most cliché warehouse he'd ever seen.

Why was this is life?

so leave me // at the roadside by LinkInThePark @saminzat (3k)

”This was exactly what he had been trying to avoid. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone out on his own at all, but he was tired of sitting around in the bunker, where the walls seemed to close in on him and the halls were too empty at the same time. Where everything reminded him of what had happened, of the battles they had fought and the people they had lost.

Of the words left unsaid.”

Dean is taking the Impala on a ride, trying to escape everything that's happened... And, in the process, is finally forced to confront his grief. 15x19 coda.

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, but Words Might Get Me Laid by Mrs King of Hell (Slytherkins) @slytherkins (3k)

When Dean's name calling goes too far, Castiel decides to teach him a lesson in manners.

"Take a Sad Song and Make it Better" by Shishquah_CustardTree @shishquahcustardtree (WIP - 27k)

After being bought and abused by Alistair for many years, Dean Winchester finally gets another chance at life and love by the means of a car crash and a bullet.

The One (1) Time Dean Winchester Tried Something New by archangelgabe @3dg310rdsupreme (2k)

What fun is a relationship that doesn't start with the gross misunderstanding that your crush is hitting on your kid brother?

The one where they get heaven-married by mercurialkitty @mercurialkitty (1.3k)

First a quick chat with Sam in the Impala, then it's off to find Cas.

A finale fix-it where Dean and Cas get heaven-married

There'll Be Peace When You Are Done by diaryofageekgirl @diaryofageekgirl (5k)

Somehow, in the middle of severing vamp necks in the dead of night in a run-down barn in Ohio, Dean had a revelation.

Or: nothing stays dead on Supernatural.

This is heaven by madbrilliant84 @madbrilliant84 (800)

“Come on dude! Don’t tell me you don’t know what your legs look like! I bet you could crush melons with those.”

Cas seemed incredibly amused by this. “And that’s something that turns you on?”

Dean smiled while biting is bottom lip. He slowly nodded. His playful tone dropped to something more heated.

“Uh huh. First thing I noticed when I saw you sitting on that bar stool.”

You're Not Alone by Wordsintothevoid @deancas-stan (15k)

Dean has an imaginary friend. Sure, that's weird as hell but he doesn't care. Cas has been there to support him during every horrible thing in Dean's short miserable life and he is not giving up Cas. Sure, Dean may also sorta kinda be in love with him. Oops. And it hurts but Dean will keep it platonic. But then Cas leaves. And then Dean breaks.

We’ll All Arrive in Heaven Alive by invisibledrugs @reasonsweweresinging (1k)

The Winchesters are finally dying, and for good.

But that's okay, because Dean knows what - and who - is waiting for him.

last but definitely not least, @uncastiel doesn’t have any fics yet but is taking prompts!

#sharklist #destiel #rec list

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ilguna · 3 years ago

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Anteric - Epilogue (f.o)

summary: secrets have more worth than you gave them credit for.

warnings; swearing. DEATH MENTION.

wc; 5.3k

NOTES; I give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

Just when you think you’ve seen it all in Dauntless, the universe always comes back around to prove you wrong. Which is a surprise every time, because after you started studying under the leaders, there wasn’t anything under the sun that was off limits. And you’ve been doing this for years.

Mags currently stands with you, Caspian and Damon by the train tracks, waiting for the train. Last week, Erudite’s leader, Coriolanus Snow, had gotten in contact with the leaders of each faction to discuss a new serum that they have in the works. He didn’t exactly say what the serum would be for, only that it would help with security.

Before he had said that, Caspian was convinced that you wouldn’t have to tag along, since you’ve gone to more than your fair share of meetings. By now, you understand the whole process, from the very beginning, to the very end. If they had decided to send you alone today, you would’ve been able to take care of it without a worry.

However, if the serum concerns security, you have to be there because Finnick can’t. It’s not that he can’t get up and go, it’s more of the fact that it would be inappropriate to bring him. He may be the head of security, but he’s not in any position of power within the Dauntless headquarters.

Which is why you’ll be working as his spokesperson. You’ve worked alongside Finnick plenty of times, you know his job as well as he does. And just for good measure, you got permission from Caspian to tell Finnick what you all do know about the serum, so Finnick could tell you things that he would specifically be looking for.

Generally, Dauntless is already at peak performance with the technology you have at hand. You can always appreciate Erudite when they have more improved versions of what you have. But past that, new inventions aren’t necessarily a priority. As far as you’re concerned, everything is under control.

Finnick highlighted a few questions for you to ask while you’re there. And if the Erudite get technical with the words, you’re there to decipher what they have to say, and combat it if you have to. Over these last couple of years, you learned that not only is your Divergence one of your biggest dangers, it’s also your biggest advantage as a future leader.

You had expected that it would only be you, Finnick and Damon visiting the Abnegation building, considering that Mags has begun to hit the point where she can’t navigate Dauntless anymore. It’s not memory, it’s more of the fact that she’s not physically fit enough to go up the winding path of the Pit, or through long hallways in stretches of darkness without knowing where the next step is.

It’s no surprise, though. Mags is the oldest member of Dauntless, staying long past people expected her to. It’s a miracle she hasn’t broken anything yet, with the way that the compound is structured. In Dauntless, there are no old, only the young that will lead the future generations. As soon as Mags proves that she’s incapable of living the lifestyle anymore, she’ll be forced out, becoming factionless.

Not that Caspian likes to talk that way, but he’s said that her time is right around the corner. Maybe next week, maybe next month. All you know is that you’ll be replacing her, and you’ll join Caspian and Damon in making official decisions for the faction. Sometimes, it’s a scary thought. Other times, you wonder just how much of an impact you can leave before it’s your time to leave, too.

Anyway, Mags decided that she couldn’t really sit out on the meeting if Erudite might alter the way of life for everyone. Which means that she’s going to have to jump on the train, and you haven’t seen her do it at all yet. In all your time of helping lead, Mags has never shown the want or need of jumping onto the train.

She has to know that it’s more dangerous to her than anyone else, right? Damon might slowly be tallying up his own years, but he could still run circles around her. If she breaks her leg, or something important, then that’ll be it for her. She’ll get sent to the nearest Erudite hospital with the label ‘factionless’.

You guess you shouldn’t be worrying over her like this. You should be hoping that she makes it onto the train so that you don’t have to take up her position all of a sudden.

“Here it comes,” Caspian says, breaking the silence.

You look over to the left, double-checking to make sure he’s right, and he is. The horn blares a couple of times, warning you four that it’s coming in hot. You bend your knees slightly, stretching out your calves. You’re not sure who wants to get on the train first, all you know is that you don’t want to be stuck behind Mags, if she does end up taking her time getting on.

The lights flash, the sound of the horn repeating. Just as it begins slowing, you take off running beside it, not waiting for the other three to make their decision. You’d rather be the first on the train, with the responsibility of helping the others inside. Compared to being last, with little to no room to work with before the train has sped up and left you behind.

You chase the car for a few more steps before throwing yourself to the left, hand out to grab the handle. Your hand curls around the metal, which is warm from baking in the sun all afternoon. With a jerk of your hips, your right foot lands on the floor of the train car. You reach inside, above the doorway, to grab the second handle with your right hand. And all in one motion, you pull yourself inside.

You get out of the way by moving to the left side of the car. Still holding on, you lean out a little to see the others, allowing the wind to carry your hair off of your shoulders. The next person running up is Caspian, blonde hair slicked back because of how fast he’s running. He throws himself left too, and you offer out your free hand to pull him inside.

His hand grasps yours tightly, and using your combined strength, he gets into the train with no problem. He’s got years of experience beneath his belt, you’d be surprised if he, out of all people, made some rookie mistake.

Instead of Damon being third, it’s Mags. She’s not moving as quickly as you two did, but she’s within range of the train car. Caspian leans out as far as he can, reaching for her. After one big burst, she takes the chance on his hand, being prepared for the yank forward and the ground disappearing beneath her. You grab her other hand, and her feet meet the train flooring.

Damon waves you and Caspian away, wanting to get in on his own. Mags takes a corner on the far side away from you, away from the door so that she doesn’t get caught in the force of the wind. Caspian backs up too, letting Damon have a wide range to work with. As soon as you give Damon the thumbs up, he gets in with one fluid motion, perfected from his years of experience.

After that, you’re left to fall back and wait until you have to get off the train. Which brings out a whole new question on how Mags will get out unharmed. You suppose that you’ll see when the time comes.

You look over at the others, “How many Abnegation leaders will there be?”

Like you’ve said, you’ve gone to plenty of these meetings before, but when it comes to Abnegation, they’re always a mystery. There have been times when they brought half their board, and there’s been times when they’ve only brought two or three people. One young, one old. There’s only been one time where they’ve allowed one person to go by themselves, and it was because they had a lot on their plate that month.

Damon shrugs, “Probably three, like normal.”

“But this is a serum that we’re talking about,” Caspian says, shaking his head twice, “Abnegation isn’t going to pass up the opportunity to argue with them.”

“The Abnegation don’t argue, they use judgement to break the other person down. It’s why Erudite hates the selfless idea in the first place, Abnegation projects it onto others, and it works.” you say, straightening up.

“So, what? You think they’ll bring more people?” Caspian asks, and then he glances at Mags, “What do you think?”

You and Damon have to lean in to hear her through the sound, “I wouldn’t be surprised if they brought the whole council. It’s Coriolanus we’re talking about, not some intern.”

She’s right, it’s the point you were trying to direct Caspian and Damon to. Erudite has a history of sending interns--leaders-in-training like you--to meetings, instead of Coriolanus himself. The funny thing about sending the interns is that you’ve never seen the same person come back, ever. It’s always a new person, and they vanish as quickly as they came.

If Coriolanus is calling a meeting personally, it means business, real progress. At this point, you wouldn’t be surprised if the whole Abnegation population came to the meeting to deflect any information that Coriolanus has. Unless, of course, he’s come up with a way to help the factionless. He might steal their hearts all in one go, even if it’s not willingly.

The four of you don’t talk again until you’ve made it to the city, nearly thirty minutes later. With how far away the Dauntless compound is, you have to leave early if you want to make it anywhere in the city on time. It reminds you a lot of the bus rides to school when you lived in Abnegation. Only, you’d be delayed so badly solely because you had to give others the opportunity to get onto the bus first. And if there was no room left for you, you’d have to wait for the next one to come around.

You don’t miss Abnegation, not at all.

Now that you’ve gotten a taste of what it’s like to come first, it’s addicting. You can take what you want, when you want it. You know that there will always be your underlying Abnegation urges every now and then. But you’re predominantly Dauntless since you’ve become a member and lived the lifestyle.

“(Y/n) and Caspian out first!” Damon shouts, motioning for Caspian to join you at the door.

You’re a few steps back, as is Caspian. If you get a running start out the door, you have a better chance at landing on your feet when you get out. Plus, you’re less likely to go and accidentally twist your ankle.

A patch of grass finally passes in front of the door, and you take off running, pushing off when your toes just barely hang over the edge. The wind whistles in your ears for a moment, but then your feet touch the ground, and you’re stumbling forward to slow yourself down.

Caspian stands just fine next to you, hands in his pockets. The two of you watch as Mags and Damon leave the car next. Mags dissolves into a crouch so that her knees catch the entirety of the blow. Damon does the same thing that you and Caspian did, only much more gracefully.

The walk to the Abnegation headquarters is fairly quiet, each of you preoccupied with your own thoughts. You mainly worry about making sure that you’ll be able to ask every one of Finnick’s questions. If he has all the information possible, he’ll be able to decide whether or not Dauntless should back up Erudite. Which is important, considering that you are their biggest ally.

Soon, you can see the tall building looming over the street, casting a dark shadow. The closer you get, the more you’re able to see that there are Abnegation members everywhere. Some stand along the sidewalk, talking to each other. Some are waiting for the bus to come around, probably running errands for others.

Once you’re noticed by one person, more follow behind them. Their stares are judgmental, and you can already hear what’s going through their minds. The tight clothing, the brightly colored tattoos that are in obvious areas, the piercings on display for them to see. And it’s all shamelessly, attention is what the Dauntless crave.

The girl working at the front desk must have been waiting for you, because she’s out of her seat in an instant, moving around the counter, “Follow me, please.”

The inside of the building is boring, with grey fabric walls, and shiny white floors. The girl’s hair is pulled back into a bun, a few hairs hanging loose out of the bottom. She holds her arms behind her back, hands clasped together. You remember seeing Calandra, Caspian’s older sister, doing this exact same thing before she transferred to Erudite. It’s because Naida walks this way too, it must be some sort of tradition that your family never picked up on.

Then again, your family has never been for traditional roles. Two kids too many, both parents dead, two transferred children. Your brother is raising your sister by himself, in a house that is far too big for him to reasonably occupy. He might have moved, but you really doubt it. The house has three bedrooms, and it’s roomy on the inside.

The receptionist stops in front of an elevator. She removes her hands from behind her back to press the up button. She settles for intertwining her fingers in front of her, staring at the metal doors.

“You know, your hair is distracting,” Caspian teases, he must be referring to the hair that hangs loose.

The girl goes rigid, shoulders tensing. You press your lips together in an effort to suppress your laugh, shaking your head at Caspian. Damon’s got the same expression you do. Mags doesn’t look like she’s having as much fun, you can only imagine how badly her knees must be hurting now.

The elevator doors open, and the girl moves aside to let you four go inside first. When this happens, she takes the opportunity to reach up behind her head to feel the bun for herself.

“I was just teasing,” Caspian winks, coming in and standing next to you.

Her face turns bright red, eyes squinting at him slightly. If he’s not careful, he’s going to worsen the narrative that Abnegation has set on Dauntless. Not that you guys actually care, of course. They could call all of you horrible people, the truth of the matter is that you’re the ones protecting them from danger.

Inside of the lift, she presses the number thirty. It’s not the highest floor that this building has to offer. If you look around her, you can see it goes up to fifty. There must be some office spaces above, where the Abnegation are working together to plan out another city repair. As if the first hundred didn’t fail, too.

The girl holds the door open for you to pass through, and then she leads the way down a couple of hallways. Up here, the floors are grey carpet and the walls are painted white, a reversal of the first floor. Grey is such a boring color, you can see why they’ve chosen it.

She stops in front of the door at the end of the hall, one hand on the doorknob, the other giving a quiet knock to let the people inside know that you’re coming in. You hadn’t heard talking initially, but once she knocks, the murmur on the other side ceases. She pushes the door open, allowing you to go inside. She gives you a smile, and then closes the door behind her when she leaves.

You turn your attention to the people in the room, after that. And the first thing you notice is how you’re the last to show up, every other leader is here. They were just missing you four. You can’t say that you’re surprised.

Coriolanus Snow is dressed in a dark blue suit, his white hair is combed back. There’s a beard on his face, also dawned in white. Caspian told you that Coriolanus was just as old as Mags, maybe a few years younger. Honestly, you’ve never seen him up close before, only in pictures in passing.

He sits up straight, as if a stick has been shoved up his ass. With his attitude, you wouldn’t be surprised if it were true. Looking at his face alone, you can see that he holds the Erudite arrogance with pride. Not a surprise, the Erudite think they’re better because they can score higher on tests.

To his left sits a man in a black suit with a white undershirt, Haymitch Abernathy. He’s the leader of Candor, with unkempt curly dark hair, and purple bags underneath his eyes. He’s not sat up as straight, he’s slouched in his chair, arms lazily crossed on the table. He’s as old as Damon, middle-aged. You wouldn’t be surprised if Haymitch had kids.

Amity’s representative, Elysia Petalsong, sits to Haymitch’s left. Every time you see her again, you can’t help but picture her during Mox’s Choosing Ceremony. She had looked younger then, she’s older now. Not as old as Haymitch and Damon, though. Elysia wears a red dress, gold bracelets line her wrists, with one heart locket necklace around her neck. Her dark hair falls in waves over her shoulders, hands are in her lap, and you can imagine her legs are crossed in a tilt.

There’s only one Abnegation leader sitting at the table, directly across from Coriolanus Snow. At first, he doesn’t turn to face you all, it’s only when Mags has already taken her seat next to Coriolanus, to his right, does the man finally look over to greet you four.

Your eyes lock for only a second, but it’s the longest second of your life.

Reed sits with confidence, hands laced and on the table in front of him. He looks so much like your father like this, that it’s insane. He’s finally grown into his body, his face more matured. You’re sure that if he stood up, that he’d be a couple of inches taller now.

You haven’t seen him in a long time.

His eyes stay just long enough to remember your face, before looking over the actual leaders of your faction. With the way that they’re sitting down, from oldest to youngest, you’re going to be stuck sitting next to him. You don’t know if you can do that.

You don’t think he’s even realized it’s you yet.

Caspian notices your hesitance, and takes the seat closest to Reed, leaving the one next to Damon open. You take the spot quickly, wondering how Reed had somehow convinced Abnegation that he was a leader that was fit for them.

Abnegation has a history of picking people that don’t want to be leaders. Mostly because if the person they’ve elected doesn't want the power, then they’re less likely to get out of control. You don’t think Reed is after power, you’re just confused on how he became well-known enough to end up here.

Actually, you take that back. You know why he’s well-known, you said so yourself on the way here. The Gallows family is far from perfect when it comes to Abnegation standards. Then again, shouldn’t that be a drawback on why he shouldn’t be elected?

Amon, Naida’s husband, must’ve recommended Reed.

“There’s four of you.” Coriolanus says, as if it isn’t obvious.

Mags clears her throat, “She’s a leader-in-training at the moment, she’ll replace my position when the time comes.”

Coriolanus stares at you longer than you wish he would.

You sit up, deciding that you might as well push for the meeting to get started. This is more important to you, than to anyone else, “You said that you’re developing a serum that’ll help with security?” you ask.

“Yes, that’s right.” He says, eyebrows drawing in.

“What is it going to do?” you lean your head against your hand.

“To put it into simple terms, it’s a tracking device.”

Elysia lets out a noise that sounds like a scoff, sitting up in her chair, “What would we need tracking devices for?”

“It would be a precaution, let’s say a person goes missing. We could then activate the transmitter, and find the person without any worry.” He says this with a wave of his hand, as if the idea isn’t a bad one.

However, you can find a hundred different reasons why this is a bad idea.

“People don’t go missing often enough to need tracking devices, though,” you squint at him, “In fact, when people do go missing, they’re often found the same day, alive.”

“It doesn’t have to be used for that scenario exclusively,” he says, “What about a wanted criminal that hides among the factionless?”

Reed is the next to go rigid, “If you’re implying that the factionless are the cause for most crimes, you’re wrong.”

“You work with them all day, of course you’d say that,” Coriolanus says back, “You don’t see them the same way that the rest of us do.”

“And how’s that?” Reed asks, “They’re human, they deserve to be treated as such.”

“Settle,” Elysia says, placing her hand on the table, “Coriolanus isn’t far off with the second use.”

“I have a question,” you start, “if this comes to life, Erudite will be in charge of the tracking information?”

“Yes,” he says.

You shake your head, “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“How?” Coriolanus asks.

Caspian’s face twists, “Because Dauntless is in charge of security.”

“I’m sure that you all do a good job doing that, but it’ll be easier for the Erudite to navigate a system they already know. You’d have to teach your people how to use it, which will be time consuming.”

The four of you have different reactions to what he said.

Damon jumps into the conversation, asking, “What do you mean by ‘your people’?”

Mags has her lips drawn into a tight line, glaring at Coriolanus. While you and Caspian have two different points to bring up. Caspian’s the first to blurt out, “We have plenty of time to learn a new system. More than enough!”

You shake your head, “What do you think we do each time you give us a new way to monitor the city? We’re always relearning the technology you give us, so how is this any different?” Coriolanus opens his mouth to speak, you hold your finger up, “Also, if we let you take control of the tracking devices, it defeats the purpose of Dauntless being the primary resource for security.

“We patrol the walls, we supply your police officers, firefighters, and construction workers. We have cameras all around the city, always watching to make sure that you’re safe. So why wouldn’t we be allowed to have this resource? You’re not making any sense when you speak.”

Coriolanus is measured, “Tell me, does your head of security know the ins and outs of the system?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?” He raises his eyebrows.

“If you’re referring to all the secrets that you hid within the programs, yes we found those,” you tilt your head, “He found those years ago, during his first week of training beneath people that had been working with that set of technology that you provided, for years.”

Coriolanus doesn’t speak immediately, “It would be faster access if the system were inside Erudite headquarters. Dauntless is too far away.”

“That’s why the calls would go directly to us.” Caspian says, “There would be no middle man.”

“How do you plan on distributing it? Especially when it comes to the factionless, who don’t necessarily like Erudite.” you raise your eyebrows, waiting.

Reed lets out a breath through his nose, “Coriolanus will probably ask us to do it, since the factionless are more keen to the Abnegation because of how often we help them.”

Coriolanus is hesitating, “That’s not true.”

“You’re lying.” Haymitch says, finally joining the conversation, “And you’re hiding something.”

The Candor aren’t always the best company to have around, but you’re extremely glad that Haymitch is here. Otherwise, you’d go in circles with Coriolanus all day and not get anywhere.

“What color is the serum?” you finally ask.

Coriolanus’ face twists, “Orange-brown, why?”

You grit your teeth, shaking your head at him. A small laugh escapes you when you fall back against the chair.

“What is it?” Elysia asks.

You look at Mags, “Can I speak as a leader?”

She doesn’t nod right away, like she’s waiting for an explanation. When it doesn’t come out immediately, she goes ahead and gives you permission.

You look at Coriolanus, “One more time, you’re telling me it’s colored, correct?”

“Yes--”

You cut him off before the word is completed, “Dauntless rejects the serum. If it were a tracking device, it wouldn’t be colored. Colored serums contain transmitters inside, and transmitters are used to induce hallucinations.”

Silence sweeps the table. It’s especially heavy on Coriolanus’ part, because he’s not jumping to correct your statement. You’re right.

“How do you know this?” Reed asks.

You look right at him, “Finnick, our head of security, gave me questions to ask to make sure that the serum wouldn’t be anything dangerous to work with,” your eyes switch to Coriolanus, “Or a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

“What would you need another hallucination serum for?” Elysia asks, “The couple that Dauntless has works just fine, doesn’t it?”

“Yes.” Damon says, “They do.”

Coriolanus is waving his hand, “Forget it, we’ll trash the serum entirely.”

You don’t trust him. If the serum is so far developed that he would call a meeting for it, then it’s practically ready to use. Why would he just throw it all away? At best, he’s probably going to set it aside to use later.

“Are we finished?” Elysia asks, “It’s an important week in Amity.”

“I think so.” Haymitch says, he’s already gotten to his feet, “A waste of time, if you ask me.”

You don’t miss the glare that Haymitch sends to Coriolanus. A few steps after Haymitch is Elysia, also eager to leave as soon as possible. Reed gets to his feet, opening the door for them. In the hallway waiting is the receptionist, her hands tied in front of her.

She perks up, “Anyone else?”

Coriolanus rises from the table with the four of you, heading to walk out of the room before the rest of you, “Are you an Erudite transfer?”

“No, I was raised in Abnegation.” you snap, quiet when you say the next part, “I just know that the Erudite has a history for not telling the whole truth.”

He doesn’t get mad like you wished he would. He lets out a small laugh, placing his hand on your shoulder, then he leaves the room. You squeeze your fists, wanting to punch the back of his head.

“You four, too?” the receptionist asks.

“Actually, I was hoping I’d get to talk to (Y/n).” Reed says, your eyes flash to him.

So he did recognize you, he just decided not to say anything during the meeting.

“Okay, what about you three?”

“We’ll stay up here and wait.” Damon says, he’s looking between you and Reed. He’s probably trying to remember if your name was mentioned at all. It wasn’t, he’s not going crazy.

“This will only be a moment,” Reed says, “Excuse us.”

With you still inside of the room, Reed goes to shut the door. Right before it closes, you can see Caspian lean over, probably telling Damon that the two of you are related, that’s how you know each other. The door clicks shut.

You feel like you’re standing too close to Reed, so you move back a little.

“(Y/n),” Reed says, a slight smile appears on his face, “You’ve grown up. I think you’re a little bit taller, too. How are you?”

You squeeze your hands again, jaw setting. To think that Reed has the fucking audacity to speak to you like this, like you’re still on good terms. ‘You’ve grown up’? Is that really how he wants to play this?

“Good,” you start, trying to sound light, “I think Finnick might propose soon, and within the next month I should become a leader of Dauntless. How’s Alyssum?”

The Finnick part is true, the two of you have begun to settle in more. He’s got a handle of security, you’re finally going to have your job down. There wouldn’t be a reason not to. Plus, he’s been acting a little more anxious lately, which isn’t like him.

Reed gives you a funny smile, “She’s in first grade now, she looks a lot like our mother. Alyssum reminds me a lot of you, in some ways.”

“Oh, so does that mean you’re actually telling her that Mox and I exist? Or are you brainwashing her?”

His face twists, “What are you talking about?”

This, the feigned ignorance, makes you angry.

“Well, after Mox transferred to Amity, we never spoke about him again. Much less, went to see him on his Visiting Day. And since you didn’t come to see me either, I figured that you were giving me the same treatment.”

Reed doesn’t say anything back.

“Mox is doing great, by the way. Unlike you, he came to see me during my initiation. Back then, he had a wife and a daughter, now he has a son, too.” you glare, “Mox broke Amity rules to see me, because he knew that you wouldn’t get over yourself to do it.”

He stares, still not speaking.

“You know, Alyssum will end up leaving you, too. I wonder if you’ll finally have the heart to forgive her when the time comes.”

“You can speak to me like that, but I know that if it weren’t for me staying in Abnegation, you three would’ve been put in a foster home,” he says, “My aptitude result wasn’t Abnegation, it was Erudite.”

You grit your teeth harder, body heating up, “Congrats, Reed. We should throw a whole parade for you for being such a good little son by staying with dad after mom died. Should I give you a round of applause while I’m at it?” you snap, hand wrapping around the doorknob. You’re ready to leave, “You aren’t respectable in the slightest. It’s not even impressive that you stayed in a faction you don’t belong in--want to know why?”

Reed is staring at you with a familiar neutral expression. The one that every adult in Abnegation has down, to the very last detail. It’s where they all go to hide to avoid showing the emotion that’s boiling underneath. You’re glad you could get under his skin, like he had picked at you for years.

“Because my result was Abnegation, but you’re so fucking insufferable that I couldn’t stay any longer.” you lean in, “I used to regret transferring, and leaving you behind, but this has been one big reminder on why I did it. So, thank you, Reed. I can finally sleep soundly knowing that you haven’t changed in the fucking slightest!”

You open the door, fully aware that Caspian, Damon and Mags just heard everything you said. It turns out that the receptionist has heard too, because she’s standing stiffly, mouth slightly agape.

“You okay?” Caspian asks.

“I don’t regret a single word.”

ANTERIC IS A SPIN-OFF DIVERGENT AU //MASTERLIST//

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notfunnydean · 4 years ago

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Pairing: Dean Winchester / Castiel Warnings/Tags: Dean in panties, nsfw pictures, Dean takes nudes, onlyfans account, coming in panties, no actually sex between Dean and Cas, stalker!Cas, mutual pining Word Count: 4.246 Challenge: None Summary: Dean is working two jobs which is why he never has time to study for his classes. When he fails another test Bobby and Ellen tell him he should focus on his studies and not his jobs. But Dean needs money and then Charlie has a brilliant idea. He makes an onlyfans account, only for his roommate and secret crush Castiel to find him in an explicit situation. Link to fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31053908 ---

“Dean?”

Castiel isn’t sure why Dean is asleep in the middle of their living room, but that position can’t be very comfortable. Dean sighs in his sleep, but doesn’t make any move to sit up again.

His nose twitches a bit and Castiel smiles down at him. He can feel the blush creeping up on his cheeks, but at least he can admit to himself, that he loves to watch Dean sleep. He looks peaceful like that.

Adorable, maybe. Surely.

“Dean you have to wake up.” Castiel says and this time he shakes softly at his shoulder. Dean whines quietly, not fully awake yet, but at least he opens his eyes. Dean always wakes up startled and alerted, Castiel had learned that the first year they had been roommates.

These days he seems to feel better.

“Cas?”

“Yeah, sorry. You fell asleep over your book in the living room and it didn’t look very comfortable.” Castiel apologizes and Dean sits slowly up. His bones crack and he groans, Castiel tries to ignore the warm feeling in his stomach.

He knows Dean is straight and they’re friends, there is no place for his feelings.

“Aw fuck. Yeah I got a test tomorrow and wanted to learn for a bit, since I didn’t really have time the last few days.” Dean says and he sounds as if he wants to apologize for that. Castiel smiles fondly.

He knows that Dean’s father doesn’t believe in Dean’s choice to study and won’t pay for any loans or basically anything Dean needs. So Dean works at the roadhouse on the weekends and twice a week at the garage of his Uncle Bobby.

Well not “real” Uncle, but close enough.

“It’s okay. I would help you study but… we both know that’s not a good idea.” Castiel says and at least he got a smile out of Dean. It’s a really stunning smile.

“Nah that’s fine. I… I don’t feel like I’m gonna pass anyway.” Dean admits and Castiel knows how much that it had cost him to admit that. Dean always feels like he’s not allowed to show any weakness.

Castiel had never met John Winchester and he’s rather glad for it, because he sounds like an asshole.

“Dean, you know that Naomi and my father pay for my classes, so I don’t really need the extra money right now from my job at the library. You could cut work a bit and study more if it would make you feel better.” Castiel says, when he sits down next to Dean.

“Yeah. We talked about this, I know you want this new camera Cas and I would never take money from you.” Dean says and there is that soft smile again.

Dean doesn’t even know he’s too good for the world.

Castiel is studying photography, even though his parents would kill him if they’d know. They still think one day he is going to lead the family company and Castiel hopes that talk can wait a few more years.

Dean’s father at least knows that Dean is studying to get a degree in automotive technology, but he still hates the idea. It’s pretty similar, John wants Dean to do what he thinks is good.

“But Dean…” Castiel starts. Dean holds his hand up and this time his smile looks so tired. Castiel’s heart squeezes.

“I’ll find a solution.” Dean says but it sounds more like he already gave up on his studying.

“I could make us some tea.” Castiel offers because he doesn’t know what else he could do to help Dean.

Castiel doesn’t even own a car, so he surely wouldn’t be any help with studying.

“Thank you.“ Dean says with another smile even though he prefers coffee.

“Son of a bitch.“

“That bad?“ Charlie asks and Dean doesn’t even answer at first, instead he lets his head fall on his table.

“Failed.“ Dean mutters into the table and he can hear how Charlie swallows loudly. It’s the second class he failed in one month.

“Shit.“ Charlie answers and Dean sighs.

He is so fucked. Dean loves what he studies but often enough he is too tired to actually sit down and learn about it.

“One more fail and they’ll kick me out.” Dean says and his stomach squirms uncomfortable at the thought. He had really thought he would be smart enough for classes like this, but apparently he was wrong.

“What did Ellen and Bobby say?” Charlie asks carefully and Dean groans, before he bangs his head on the table again. Not like it helps, but it does hurt.

“That if I fail this one, they’ll fire me.” Dean says and he feels so ashamed. He knows they’re not firing him, because they’re angry or disappointed. No, they care. They want him to be able to study what he wants, but both know he often doesn’t have any time to study.

“And if you talk to them again?” Charlie asks and she sounds so sad herself. Dean knows that she’s the smarter one out of them and he tried to study with her together, but his schedule had been so tight.

“Nah. They’re right. They’d support me without me working, but money is tight for them as well. It’s just that I really need the money. Sam’s the best of his classes and I want him to stay in Stanford. He can’t know about this.” Dean says and Charlie nods. It’s not the first time he had told her this.

“Failed uh Winchester?”

Dean looks up, when he hears that voice and growls quietly. Seems like Alastair has way too much fun with this.

“Shut your damn mouth!” Dean says and he’s glad that their professor left already or he would be in so much more trouble. Stupid university.

“If you would only be as smart as you are pretty.” Alastair says then and his smile is so creepy again. Dean visibly shudders, but Alastair is already gone before he can say anything.

“That damn asshole.” Dean says, but Charlie is grinning at him.

“Well he’s right. Uh kinda.” Charlie says and Dean flips her off. What the hell, he had thought that they were friends.

“What?”

“I mean you are smart, dumbass. That’s not the point, but you are damn pretty. Even I can see that and I play for a different team.” Charlie says and Dean frowns, he is not really sure what she’s hinting at.

“What are you talking about?” Dean asks, but Charlie is already searching for something in her bag. Dean sees how she holds her phone up and then types something in it, before she holds it out for him.

“You could make an account on onlyfans.” Charlie says and Dean blushes at the pictures he can already see on Charlie’s phone. It’s not her, but Dean knows it’s Charlie’s favorite porn star. (And no he doesn’t want to explain how he knows that.)

“Hm.” Dean says, because that’s kinda risky isn’t it? But he heard before that some people made some good money there and he could easily do the photos at home and in less time than he has to work at the garage or the bar.

“I mean think about it.” Charlie says and she then switches the topic to the weekend, where they would meet up for some ‘epic’ games. Dean nods and shakes his head, whenever she looks at him, but he can’t concentrate.

Onlyfans. It’s all he can think about.'

“Hello Garth.” Castiel says and he waves at their neighbour, who smiles back at him.

It has just stopped raining and Castiel is glad for it. He’d been out for some classes and went grocery shopping after. It’s the least he can do when Dean is the one who is always cooking for them.

Castiel opens the door and is surprised that Dean isn’t sitting in their living room learning for his tests. Castiel knows next week there are at least two tests that Dean has to pass or they’ll kick him out.

The books are still all over their small table and Castiel smiles at the chaos. Before he had met Dean, he had lived alone and at first the chaos had really bothered him, but now he likes it.

It finally looks like someone lives here.

“Dean?”

There is no answer, so Castiel goes into the kitchen first and puts the groceries away. He hopes Dean would make them his special pasta tonight again, so he already puts those ingredients on the stove.

He calls out for Dean again, but it seems like he isn’t home. Castiel shrugs. Maybe he went out to get something for his studies? Castiel knows Dean doesn’t really like the library, but sometimes he went there for new books.

At least Dean had stopped working at the roadhouse, even though he had been in a sour mood about it, but Castiel smiles when he thinks back how Ellen had used a newspaper to get it into Dean’s head.

He does still work at Bobby’s garage for one or two days a week, but that’s it. Castiel had thought he’d put up more of a fight, but Dean had agreed in the end. Castiel is not sure how he does get by without earning the money at the roadhouse.

Maybe Sam had gotten himself a job to support himself.

Just then Castiel hears a noise back from where their rooms are and he walks towards it. Maybe Dean fell asleep again. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time.

Dean’s door is closed and Castiel knocks on it. He can hear music from inside and then opens the door when he hears Dean say something.

Just as Castiel wants to ask Dean for dinner, his mouth snaps shut and his eyes grow big. There is Dean, on his bed, spreading his legs and taking pictures of himself in bright purple panties.

Dean doesn’t seem to realize that Castiel is in the room with him, but then his eyes snap up and his face flushes.

Castiel is sure that he just died.

“Sorry, I uh… sorry.” Castiel says and then hastily closes the door. He is in full panic and actually stumbles on his way out. This is the most humiliating thing ever and Castiel’s heart almost falls out of his chest, with the way he runs back into their living room.

He has no idea what to do now.

Should he leave? Should he stay and talk to Dean about it? Oh god maybe Dean would move out now and Castiel would lose his best friend.

He hears Dean swearing and blushes himself now. He had seen Dean almost naked, writhing in his bed, in fucking panties and taking pictures of himself. Castiel is mortified when he feels himself growing hard at that picture in his head.

There is also the jealousy that makes itself room in his chest. Dean is taking pictures of himself for someone and… it’s not Castiel.

Dean’s door opens, just as Castiel is sure that he will pass out. Dean is wearing grey sweatpants and an old dark shirt, that looks like at one point it could’ve been Castiel’s, but all Castiel can think about is, if he’s wearing the panties underneath.

“So eh… can we maybe talk about this?” Dean asks and his voice is so soft. He’s obviously embarrassed, but he also seems kinda afraid. Castiel swallows.

“Yeah uh sure.” Castiel at least sits down on the armchair and he’s not even sure if he is ready for a conversation himself, but Dean sits down on the couch, his face bright red and Castiel knows he has to assure Dean that everything is okay.

“Well as you know I kinda lost my second job, so Charlie had this idea where I would make money with pictures of myself and… yeah that’s what that was.” Dean rambles and Castiel needs a moment to understand what Dean is telling him.

He wants to tell Dean that he doesn’t have to justify himself to Castiel. Dean can do what he wants. Castiel opens his mouth but something different comes out.

“You get paid for that?” Castiel hopes he doesn’t sound like he’s judging Dean or anything.

“Have you ever heard of this site called onlyfans?” Dean asks and he is looking down at his hands. Castiel swallows dryly, because of course he had heard about that. Hell he had an account on that site.

Not because he takes pictures of himself, but he likes to look at other people, okay? He's a photographer, but he could still learn a thing or two.

“Yeah. Sounds cool. I mean if you like that and it pays well. I’m not judging you. It sounds fun.” Castiel almost cringes at his own words, but Dean seems a bit relieved, at least he is looking up again.

Castiel licks his lips.

“It does pay pretty well.” Dean says and they both have to smile at that. It is certainly no secret that Dean is absolutely stunning and Castiel knows he will never forget that picture about Dean in those panties.

“And you still got time to study.” Castiel says, because it does make sense. Posting a few pictures certainly doesn’t take as much time as working six to eight hours at the roadhouse a day.

“Yeah, so uh are we cool?” Dean asks and he’s so nervous again. He’s even putting his hand in his neck, which tells Castiel that Dean would rather end this conversation now. Castiel feels himself nodding.

“We are.” Castiel agrees and Dean sighs so relieved. Castiel gets up again, because he would really distract himself now and he kinda hopes Dean would start with their dinner.

“Good.” Dean nods to himself and he actually walks towards their kitchen.

Castiel isn’t sure what triggers it, but he opens his stupid mouth another time.

“Next time maybe hold your camera a little bit lower, it will capture the view on your panties a lot nicer.” Castiel says and Dean stops. For a moment it’s way too quiet in their apartment and Castiel feels like he should apologize.

Dean doesn’t turn around though.

“Maybe you should show me a few tricks next time.” Dean says and with that he’s already out of the door and a minute later Castiel can hear how he’s already starting to cook dinner.

Castiel swallows.

“I’d love to.”

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” Dean says, even though he is alone in his room in front of his mirror. He’s wearing his grey robe, but that isn’t what makes him feel ridiculous.

Underneath he’s wearing dark green panties, which show off his ass and he can’t even hide his bulge in them. He’s even wearing a matching garter belt and stockings. He’d never worn something like that before.

Sure a few panties, because of his old high school girlfriend, who showed him how pretty they make him feel.

But this is more.

Dean had learned soon enough that his account got pretty popular and that mostly guys love to watch his short videos or dozen pictures. The comments are full of dirty lines and Dean has to say he likes the attention.

Today it’s different.

Today Castiel will take his pictures and to say that he is nervous, would be an understatement. His heart feels like it wants to jump out of his chest.

It’s even more embarrassing that he bought this outfit especially for Castiel. He doesn’t know they ended up here but Castiel will come inside any second by now and shoot Dean in this outfit.

“Dammit.” Dean mutters, because he would love for Castiel to find him beautiful in this. He’s pining for such a long time for Castiel by now and while he had understood that apparently Dean isn’t what Castiel wants, maybe today he can feel at least a bit wanted by him.

“Dean?”

Castiel knocks on his door and Dean nods to himself in the mirror before he tells Castiel that he can come in. Dean had even changed his bedsheet and put a few candles around the bed.

“Oh wow.” Castiel says when he sees the candles and Dean feels a bit proud. Castiel has his huge camera with him and Dean knows the quality of the photos will be so much better than anything his phone could produce.

“Yeah thought it would be a nice touch.” Dean says and he can see that Castiel is nodding. Dean chuckles a bit, because the whole situation is weird and embarrassing, but it’s also the hottest thing he’s ever done.

“Are you ready?” Castiel asks then and he is already checking a bunch of stuff on the camera. Dean schools his facial features and relaxes his shoulders.

“Yeah. Where do you want me?” Dean asks and only then realizes how that sounds. He can see that Castiel swallows and licks his lips and Dean’s dick - the damn traitor - jumps at that. Luckily he’s still in his robe.

“On the bed first.” Castiel answers and Dean can’t help but shudder at those words. Fuck, this sounds like they both mean something interely different. Something Dean would enjoy a lot more.

Dean lets the robe fall to his feet and Castiel’s eyes snap towards him. Dean almost wants to hide behind his hands, but instead he walks over to his bed and sinks down on the sheets.

“Fuck.” Castiel mutters under his breath, but Dean hears him anyway and he can’t help but smirk at that. Seems like Castiel does like his appearance at least. Dean doesn’t want to think about what that means.

So it’s what, Dean’s soul, that he hates?

Dean knows he’s not exactly relationship material with all his daddy issues and anger problems, but he tries. God, he would try so hard for Castiel.

“Maybe just start a few poses and I will see what I can do with those. After that I can give you a few directions, but I feel like you know exactly how you look good.” Castiel says and did his voice always sound so deep?

Dean tries to relax on the bed and spreads his legs a bit. He closes his eyes, because it’s easier. In most pictures his face isn’t seen and he wants this to stay that way. If it is in the picture, Dean is wearing a silky mask over half his face.

He puts the mask on now and then puts one hand on his cock, feeling already that he’s growing hard, just from Castiel watching.

“That’s good.” Castiel says quietly and starts to take a few pictures. Sometimes just of Dean’s lower part, how he’s touching himself so featherlight, sometimes from above him while Dean looks into the camera.

There is quiet music playing in Dean’s room, but all he can hear is his own heartbeat in his ears. Castiel looks like he wants to eat him alive and Dean can’t help the moan that escapes his lips.

Of course Castiel captures that moment.

“So fucking hot.” Castiel says and Dean arches his back a bit more, while Castiel kneels down at the side of the bed, to get a picture.

It doesn’t take long, before they both seem to relax and forgotten is all the shame and discomfort. Dean enjoys this a lot more than he should and he sucks lazily on his fingers, while Castiel groans.

Dean grins. Yeah he could get used to this. Before that it had been so awkward to take the pictures but this is fun.

“Spread your legs a bit more.” Castiel whispers and Dean obey happily. He’s fully hard by now, but those pictures always get him the most money anyway, so he wouldn’t complain.

It should be weird that Castiel sees him like this, but somehow it isn’t.

Dean rubs himself a bit and he can’t help but throw his head back, when precum leaks over his fingers and panties. He can see that Castiel is leaning over his hips now to capture that exact moment.

Probably doing a close-up of his dick. Dean groans.

Just then Castiel puts his own hand on Dean’s thigh. He squeezes and then takes a picture of that, Dean’s dick jerks and just like that he’s already coming.

Castiel doesn’t even bat an eyelash, he just continues to take a few pictures, his left hand still on Dean’s thigh.

“You look so gorgeous.” Castiel says and Dean’s face flushes from shame and excitement at the same time. Maybe even from the praise. Dean is breathing hard and he doesn’t really know what to answer.

He just came because his best friend had touched him. It’s not even an excuse that he’d been rubbing himself close to orgasm before. Shit.

“This better gets me a lot of money.” Dean says and Castiel nods slowly. He finally takes his hand away and looks through the pictures on his camera. Dean can’t really see if Castiel is hard himself, but it doesn’t look like it. He tries not to feel disappointed.

“I mean the pictures are amazing.” Castiel says and he doesn’t look up from his camera.

“Yeah perfect job for me, huh? I’ve always been sure that I’m good looking and that’s it.” Dean says and Castiel doesn’t seem to find that funny. No, he’s actually frowning at Dean. The head tilt will kill Dean one day.

“Don’t talk to yourself like that.” Castiel says and he’s actually angry. Now it’s Dean’s turn to frown back at him.

“We both know it’s true. Spare me the humiliation.” Dean says and he carefully gets up. He makes a face, because he hates the feeling of his wet panties sticking to his dick.

Castiel stops him though and Dean sits down on his bed once again. Castiel turns his camera around and shows Dean a picture of himself. It is pretty hot, but Dean doesn’t know what Castiel wants from him.

“What do you see?” Castiel asks and he shows him another picture. This one is just Dean’s face. His green eyes wide and he looks almost sweet. Had probably looked at Castiel while that had been taken.

Charlie always tells him how lovestruck he looks when Castiel is near.

“A hot guy?” Dean says slowly, because is that a trap?

Castiel’s frown grows heavier and Dean isn’t sure what he had said wrong. Castiel takes the camera back and then scrolls a bit longer through his pictures, before he shows it to Dean again.

This time it shows Dean studying at their couch table. Dean looks concentrated, biting down on his pencil. Castiel shows him the next picture. Dean obviously laughs at something in the picture and Dean shudders. That’s how he looks while laughing?

The next one is Dean eating and wow okay that’s even worse. Dean gets to know why Sammy complains about his table manners.

“Why are you showing me this? I know that on some days I’m not even hot.” Dean says, but Castiel shakes his head and his blue eyes look so sad.

“I wish you could see yourself like I’m seeing you.” Castiel says and Dean isn’t sure what he means by that. Dean at least puts his blanket over his lap, because he feels uncomfortable now.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean feels himself getting kinda angry.

“Dean, you are so much more than hot. Of course you are incredibly handsome and I know exactly while you got so many fans on your site. But to me you are everything. You are so hardworking and I don’t know anyone else who cares so much as you do. Nobody has a heart that big and it’s the reason why I fell so hard for you.” Castiel rambles and Dean can feel himself tearing up.

“What?”

“I love you, you damn idiot!” Castiel says and Dean is speechless, that is what he always wanted and now he doesn’t know what to answer.

“Sorry.” Castiel says and he packs his things. Dean finally gets up himself and takes the camera out of Castiel’s hand. They should probably talk about Castiel’s stalking in the last months, but Dean wants something different.

“Cas, I love you too. It’s… Cas it’s always been you. I thought I wasn’t worth enough, because I don’t have money and nor am I as smart as you are…” Dean starts but Castiel doesn’t want to hear it.

Castiel kisses him like he’s a starving man and Dean relaxes into his arms. This is what he had always wanted. Castiel tilts his head a bit and just like that the kiss gets even better. Dean whines quietly, when Castiel breaks it.

“Do you seriously think I care about money? Dean you are the most selfless person I’ve ever met and don’t get me started on your nerdy side. It’s adorable.” Castiel says and he’s smiling so prettily.

Dean steals another kiss.

“You’re incredible, you know that? Why did you never say something?” Dean asks and Castiel shrugs a bit embarrassed.

“I was also very sure that you don’t like me. You kinda killed me with your outfit today.” Castiel admits and Dean gives him his camera back.

“Wanna take some more pictures?” Dean asks and he smirks at Castiel, who actually pushes him on the bed. Dean grins up at Castiel anway.

“Oh sweetheart. I got other plans.”

Dean doesn’t mind.

#destiel fanfic #destiel #destiel writing #my writing #deancas

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diminuel · 4 years ago

Note

Fic anon here haha

And tbh the angsty stuff is *cheffs kiss*. But maybe only if you have some some canon compliant ones? Ty sm for answering🥺❤️

I love canon compliant stories! :D And I have so, so many.....! I don’t know how to select and I feel a proper long canon compliant rec list is in order one day...

Anyway, I’ve selected 10 fics for your enjoyment! (I thought about reccing something of my own as well but most of my stuff is only canon divergent or features some non canon tropes)

Paradisi//Inferno by seraphwings (R for gore mostly)

Summary: Castiel spends forty years in hell, searching for Dean Winchester.

Stiches by Askance

Summary: Castiel survived Leviathan--but only barely. Vessel mauled and eyes destroyed, Cas is barely clinging to what's left of his grace when Dean finds him naked and alone on the reservoir's edge; in a panic, Dean brings him home to the cabin where he and Sam have been holed up off the grid. What follows is the slow process of the angel's recovery and the unexpected changes that come with his being blind, and in the three months this takes, their little family slowly begins to patch itself back together in forgiveness, love, and darkness.

Hard Road by AleishaPotter (Explicit)

Summary: Dean discovers a few truths about himself when he and Cas are forced to go undercover on a hunt to the very last place Dean ever thought he'd find himself: a gay resort called "Last Hope" that is geared towards helping troubled homosexual couples repair their relationships.

Divine Justice (sucks) by consultingcas

Summary: The archangels don't take kindly to those who break Heaven's laws. Dean and Castiel both get put on heavenly community service to pay for their "crimes". And they learn their lesson alright, just not the one Heaven had planned on teaching them.

Teamwork by fairychangeling (orphan_account) (Explicit)

Summary: When Castiel is hit by a sex spell, Dean tries to help him through it. On his own, he isn't enough, but there are other realities, other timelines and other Deans.

Named by RC_McLachlan

Summary: Jesus Christ is dead. Somehow, that isn't the worst part of Dean's week.

Every Story Has to Start Somewhere by tricia_16 (Explicit)

Summary: Cas finally takes a chance and makes a move, and Dean freaks the fuck out. Cas is the perfect guy for Dean, and takes everything painfully slow. He lets Dean pick the pace, not pushing him into anything, or asking him for anything. Read along as Dean fights away his fears one day at a time, and realizes he doesn't really have to change all that much to have everything he never knew he wanted.

I Through My Window See by deHavilland

Summary: AU in which Castiel remains human after the apocalypse is successfully averted by Sam and Dean. The Winchesters get him set up in an apartment in Sioux Falls and then promptly leave him there, hoping he’ll start a new, normal, human life. Castiel, thinking the reason for this abandonment is his newfound mortality, comes to terms with being human in an effort to prove he has the strength to fight at their side. Dean’s more than a little surprised to come back and find the angel he once thought he knew bussing tables by day and hunting ghosts at night.

Water, Sunlight, T.L.C. by youaresunlight

Summary: Cas is turned into a plant after an unfortunate skirmish with a coven. Hannah brings him to Dean and Sam to seek their help, and Dean has a few emotional discoveries while taking care of Cas.

All The Nights by NorthernSparrow

Summary: A ghost hunt goes wrong, and Dean ends up fighting for his life in an icy river. A certain angel somehow knows he's in trouble and shows up to help, but doesn't have enough power left to warm up Dean. It's just a simple cold night in the woods, but things can go wrong fast at night in the woods, and soon Cas and Dean must each decide what they'll risk to save the other. And they just might end up so exhausted that they accidentally start talking.

#Anon #Diminuel replies #Supernatural #Destiel #fic rec

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destielfanfic · 4 years ago

Text

My First Destiel Fic, vol.2

Thank you guys for sharing your memories! My First Destiel Fic is a nostalgic survey open to any destiel fan and has a simple goal - to celebrate fics that were our gateway into a wonderful world of destiel shipping. Thank you, fic writers, you are our heroes!

from @clio-philyra

Hello! For the first Destiel fic post 😊

The first Destiel fic I bookmarked the was the Forth Wall series by Entanglednow, which is lovely and funny. I first started watching the show in 2013 (end of season 7 on UK tv I think?). The first Destiel fics that made me really fall in love with them were probably All Things Shining by askance and standbyme (which is one of my favourite things I’ve ever read - fic or otherwise) and the Holy!Dean series by bunnymaccool.

This is a great idea btw! 😊

All fic titles link directly to the fic, when it’s possible, we have added another link to our review or submitted rec post.

The Fourth Wall series by entangled_now [M, 40,000 word count, 15 works, posted 2009-10] (our review)

No summary by the author for all work. 15 separate stories in chronological order about Dean, Sam, and Cas discovering the wonders of destiel fan fiction. Ratings vary between T and M, with only one story rated NC-17 and even then it is only the discussion of sex in fanfic.

All Things Shining by askance & standbyme [NC-17, 142,000 word count, posted 2013] (our review)

Something in the world is waking up. It isn’t long before it’s brought to the attention of the Winchesters and Castiel: miracles are spreading across the country, the paranormal seems to be shrinking back on itself—and it all has something to do with the missing prayer book of a traveling preacher who died over a century ago. Dean is convinced it’s all the lead-up to another Apocalypse; Sam and Castiel aren’t so sure. Regardless, it sends them out on a less-than-typical road-trip, following the Mississippi and remnants of a very old story that seems increasingly to call to them. And along the way the trio learn much more about themselves—and the consequences and origins of love—than they’d ever have anticipated.

Holy!Dean Verse by bunnycaccool [NC-17, 120,300 word count, 5 works, posted 2012-15] (our review)

(from part 1) Dean Winchester has grown used to God dicking around in his life the last couple years. But this crap? This takes the CAKE … or pie, rather. Now he’s been thrown a whole new curve-ball. The kind that has ended the Civil War in Heaven … but resulted in Raphael taking over, and hunting for Dean’s ass on a silver platter. Not to mention dealing with Balthazar acting like a self-righteous prick, Sam having some big damn epiphany on his big brother’s sexuality, and Cas eying him up like he’s the world’s juiciest cheeseburger. All that mixed with the chance to fix it all and set everything to rights … but only if Dean is willing to sacrifice himself. Again. Seriously, if he ever meets that bastard God he’s gonna- … oh hey, Chuck! What are you doing here?

from @foxymoley

The first fic I read was All Things Shining by askance and the first fic I did fanart for was A Little Inspiration by Nadiahart. I found the former when I googled free fiction for kindle (I was on maternity leave and bored!) and fell into a Destiel fic rabbit hole. I then did the art for the latter and accidently met the author via a Destiel discord server (a fellow Angel in Profound Bond 😍) and now she's one of my best friends! I squeed, she squeed, we all squeed.

My life full of these two dumbasses hasn't been the same since. ♥

A Little Inspiration by NadiaHart [T, 3,500 word count, posted 2017]

This was it, it was perfect. Exactly what he needed for his final project. Castiel ripped the page out of the campus life newspaper, tossed his paint brushes back into their cup and raced out of his studio. Checking his watch as he rounded the quad, if he hurried he’d be just in time to catch Dean. Sure enough Dean was exiting the gymnasium still in his baseball uniform as Castiel staggered to a halt in front of him. “Woah, Cas, what’s up man?” Dean asked as he helped Castiel back up from where he was hunched over gripping his knees and panting for air. “D...Dean, I-- I--it's perfect.” He gasped holding out the clipping towards Dean.

from @unforth

My first Destiel fic was Bring it On Home by thecouchcarrot. It was S8 and I'd finally "seen" Destiel (after watching since s4) so I went to a friend I knew shipped it and asked her what I should read first, and that was her recommendation. Once I saw what fanfic could be, and what joy an AU could bring? I've never looked back!!

Bring It On Home by thecouchcarrot [M, 41,000 word count, posted 2011] (our review)

Dean the Sales Rep just moved into the neighborhood, and his new neighbor is a possibly crazy shut-in. Wait - make that definitely crazy.

from @ltleflrt

My first Destiel fic was Real Slick Dean by Trilliath, and it was also the event horizon fic that dragged me into fandom in S8. It was written by a friend, but I put off reading it for a few months because I knew I'd never look back at my old fandoms, and I was right. It was also my first omegaverse, so it opened 2 new worlds for me. I was already in love with the ship before I read the fic because I started watching in s6, but I didn't know there was a Destiel fandom. I was a real newbie :)

Real Slick Dean by trilliath [NC-17, 28,500 word count, posted 2013] (submitted rec post)

There’s a new alpha enhancer drug “Rutter” on the streets that gets used at “exclusive parties” for the worst purposes. Detective Castiel Novak and his partner Balthazar work hard to put a stop to it and other sex crimes in their work as Special Victim’s top detectives. Ellen Harvelle’s Roadhouse is both a bar and a refuge for unmated Omegas. The Roadhouse gives Omegas the opportunity have their heats in peace and, if they so desire, even sell an ‘exclusive supply of high-grade slick for the unmated Alpha on the go!’.Castiel is just such an Alpha, career oriented and having no time for casual sex or potential mates. He’s a regular customer who only buys donor D347’s slick. He’s also a family friend and advocate who helps Omegas in need get connected with Ellen. It’s all fine until one night after a difficult bust he brings Ellen a new Omega about to have her first heat. What Alpha Castiel doesn’t realize is that he’s been over-dosed with Rutter during the fight and is about to go into a rut so bad he may die. And if that weren’t enough to kill him, the embarrassment he’s about to feel will, because he’s about to meet donor D347 face to face and neither of them are prepared for what’s going to happen.

If you enjoyed the fic, please drop by the archive (AO3) and let the author know with your comments and/or kudos! And if you found our recs useful, let us know by Liking and/or Reblogging our posts!

You can find all My First Destiel Fic posts under this tag!

#destiel #destielfanficnet #my first destiel fic #destiel 2020 #survey is open to every body!#just sent us a message #and we will post it #chop chop guys #tis the season to be kind!#clio-philyra #foxymoley #unforth #ltleflrt

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emerald-echeveria-plant · 4 years ago

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Bro I gotta stop making these ocs 💀

Name: Jeremiah Cassidy Shih

Name pronunciation: jeh-ruh-mai-uh Cas-si-di Sh-ih

Personality: non-talkative, hot-headed, secretive, hides his true emotions, and violent

Age: 15

Species: Human

Sexuality: Unknown

Gender: Male

Pronouns: He/Him

Looks: brown hair, blue eyes, white skin, and freckles

Backstory: (Dis is loooooong) Before getting in his past, we first have to talk about his mother, Anne Larson or as her actual birth name Chenguang Shih. Chenguang was the daughter of the notoriously known unhinged pirate, Baozhai. Baozhai ended up having Chenguang completely by accident after she had a one night stand with one of her crewmates. She decided to keep the baby, wanting to start a long line of pirates like her. Baozhai had the baby girl just around when her torment was finally being taken seriously by the royals. Unfortunately, Baozhai ended up passing away on her boat when a cannon caused it to come crashing down. Luckily, Chenguang was safe as she had been taken by Baozhai's right hand man, Ironbeard with her. He did his best to care for the girl, holding up the legacy his captain would've wanted. Yet, he was a wanted criminal along with the other crewmates that survived the crash, so taking care of her was very difficult. But Ironbeard still pushed through.

Unfortunately, Ironbeard and the other were caught by a couple of guards and locked away. A judge sentenced them to be publicly executed by hanging the next. As for baby Chenguang, she was taken away and raised by the captain of the guards. Her full name being changed to Anne Larson just a few days later. When the day arrived for Ironbeard and the others be hung, the guards were surprise to see that they had escaped during the night. Ironbeard swore revenge for his captain and that he would one day return. As for the baby, he couldn't find her and gave up as the guards were on his tail. He regretted to not have fulfilled Baozhai's wish and those guards were going to pay for what they had done.

As for Anne, she was raised to never know of the events that took place. Her adoptive father, also known as Maxwell Larson, had told her of Baozhai and how she was a psychopathic murder that deserved what she got. So, Anne grew up hating Baozhai despite the fact she was actually hating her own biological mother. As she grew, Anne became educated and sophisticated. She quickly rose up to be one of the smartest students in her class. Getting all A's and being presented with awards for her achievements. Anne was asked to join a university of astronomy which she gladly accepted.

While she was attending, she ended up meeting a handsome young man by the name of Aaron Brown. Aaron was the typical bad boy that would rather get into trouble then be in class. He was charming, funny, and very attractive... Aaron easily charmed Anne which made her fall in love with him. Instead of focusing on her studies, she'd often daydream about him. Anne just couldn't get him out of her head. Eventually, Aaron asked her out and they went on a date. Which spiraled into several dates... Which turned into them dating each other. Anne would often ditch class just to be with him. This caused her to fail her class. Maxwell was angry at her for this. He demanded she'd retake the year and to leave Aaron. Anne was too far in love with him and didn't give into what he wanted.

Instead, Anne ended up dropping out of the university to further pursue her relationship with Aaron. They got married a few months afterwards and left their home planet. Anne decided to work as a weaver as Aaron became a marine. A year into their marriage, it all came crumbling down. Anne became severely depressed as she realized she gave up her dreams of becoming an astrologist. Aaron no longer found her attractive and began to pursuing other women behind her back. They argued a lot more than usual and it began to get physical. Finally the rose tinted glasses came off and they began to see how bad their relationship was. Anne wanted to save their marriage because she couldn't bare the thought being alone. Aaron still wanting the good things that came in a relationship while secretly having side pieces, decided to work with her on their marriage. The two came to a conclusion that having a child would be the best way to solve it.

Six months later, Jeremiah was born. Surprise, surprise, their relationship didn't get any better. Poor Jeremiah was now thrown into the picture of a broken marriage. Aaron became abusive towards Anne and didn't allow her to leave the house without his say. She'd get hurt if he didn't listen to what he said. Jeremiah wasn't safe from his abusive nature also. If the lad dared to bother him, he'd be met with a smack to the face. For five straight years had Anne and Jeremiah endured the abuse of Aaron. Anne finally decided to break from Aaron's abuse when something terrible happened to Jeremiah. One night during a drunken rage, Aaron put his hands on Jeremiah and tore out his left eye with a broken bottle. The event made Anne realize how horrible the situation was getting and it wasn't going to change unless he did something about it.

So during the night, she grabbed whatever she could carry and escaped with Jeremiah. Anne went back to her home planet where asked a place to stay with her adoptive father. Maxwell would've turned her away but when he saw the situation she was very distressed. He quickly let her in, where she explained what happened to her over the course of the years she's been gone for. Maxwell decided he would help her get back on her feet and get her son some needed medical attention. With his connections, Anne was able to earn a job as an assistant for an astrologist. She began to focus on her mental health which got better overtime. The same couldn't be said for Jeremiah. His worsened.

The abuse of his father caused major trauma in him that he wasn't able to get over. He became quiet, easily angered by others, and had thoughts about violence. Since he only had one eye now, he was bullied by the other kids once he was able to go to school. This aggravated him and he'd often get into fights because of it. Anne decided to pull him out of public school and into homeschool because things were getting out of hand. Jeremiah was taken to several doctors to see what was wrong with him. Each time, he refused to say anything. Anne stopped trying to help him since he was refusing to help himself. Yet, he was just a child. A child who wanted help but didn't know how to say it. Maxwell, decided to take over for trying to help him. Or what he thought would help him. He sent Jeremiah to a boot camp where he'd be straightened out for his bad behavior. Jeremiah loathed Maxwell for this and promised himself he'd get revenge. Life at the boot camp was utter hell. He was pushed to limits that caused him to have mental breakdowns in private. Jeremiah didn't have any friends. This caused him to be the target of the bullying of the other boys there. Throughout the torment, he was able to find comfort in the tales of well known pirates. His favorite being of the insane pirate captain Baozhai. Something about her unhinged, eccentric personality and her cruel brutality against others whenever the messed with her, manged put a smile on his face. (Baozhai in an old photo: *tearing someone's guts out.*

Jeremiah: 🙂)

At fourteen years old, Jeremiah made surprising a discovery that he was biological related to Baozhai. He had overheard Maxwell chatting with another guard about how he was glad Anne never grew up knowing that she was related to that maniac. Yet now that Jeremiah knew, he was angry that this knowledge was withheld from him. Why would they do such a thing? He tried telling his mother about this... His mother called him crazy... crazy... crazy...

That was the breaking point for Jeremiah. For a majority of his life, he was told that there was something wrong with him and that he needed help. Often being titled mentally ill or not alright in the head... Despite knowing he was, he was just tired of being treated like one.

Jeremiah ended up running away from his home planet by hiding on a cargo ship. He wanted to start somewhere fresh, where he wouldn't be as well known. He also wanted to know more about Baozhai, since most books didn't have enough information about her having a child, other than speculated rumors. For a while, he traveled around places, in search for more knowledge about his grandmother aka Baozhai. That's when he walked into a small tavern. He tried to figure out where else he could ask about her. An anonymous figure in the corner asked why he was wanted to learn about these things. Jeremiah, in the best way he could, explained that Baozhai was his grandmother. The tavern exploded into laughter after hearing him say that. They mocked him for a bit until the anonymous figure silenced the entire tavern by shooting a random person. They stood up and recounted the tale of Baozhai's fall. How she wanted the death of the upper class to continue. It was originally her plan to make a line of pirates to be like her. Then it was all ruined because of the guards. How he admitted that he failed because he wasn't careful enough... It was Ironbeard recounting all of this. He decided to continue with what she would've wanted... If Jeremiah wanted to join him. Jeremiah quickly took the deal, seeing as there was nothing holding him back now. On the outside, it didn't seem he was all too excited but on the inside, he was thrilled to finally be apart of something... And that he'd get to be just like his idol.

Likes: sharp objects, creepy bugs, reading, drawing, smoking cigars, and cats

Dislikes: his left eye, being told he's crazy, others trying to get close to him, physical affection (even though he sorta wants it), and long conversations

Other: Jeremiah doesn't like being called Jeremy or Jerry or literally any nickname to his name. If someone calls him "Jeremy" he would literally rip out their tonsils.

#tw: abuse #i feel like I made him too edgy...#what do you guys think?#oc insert #tw: long post #this baby boy just wants wants to be loved and told that there's nothing wrong with him 😞🥺#Jeremiah

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demenior · 3 years ago

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Dem’s Big Post About The Spn Fics Part 1/2

aka The Wrap Up to celebrate To Exist Again and To Become a Man now being finished!

(This will be a long post. This is your only warning.)

Admittedly this is a bit of a weird thing to be doing, but I wanted to try it out for 3 reasons:

I love talking about my own work and

It functions really well as a self-reflective tool for me to improve on, and

I can answer some big questions people might have because there was a LOT of worldbuilding in these stories.

We’ll start off with reflective stuff, and move into the juicier world-building focused stuff later into the post. There will be major spoilers for both fics to come!

To begin with a funny anecdote, Why Did I Write These Stories?

I was beginning to write and work out the story that I wanted to write for Spn (what will now be To Destroy a Man. As I was writing the scene, I realized I had a LOT of ideas and while I was trying to avoid as much exposition as I could, it became quickly apparent that I was needing to create my own au (this scene eventually became chapter 34 of To Become a Man). A short prequel seemed like a good idea, to quickly hash out the ‘prior’ events that I needed to go through so all the readers could be on the same page. While plotting out prequel points, I realized Sam and Dean were going to have drastically different experiences during the same time period, and I was trying to figure out who’s pov would be better for which scenes, and how to keep momentum when they’re going through such radically different types of changes. Ultimately I decided to split their povs, which I also thought would be a fun project! And I naively assumed each pov would take about 2 chapters each, rounding out to maybe 15k total.

I had my ending points: Dean n Cas soul-merged and (basically) married, Cas on the lam from heaven and a complete anomaly, and Sam juiced up full of powers and a weird mix of archangel and antichrist but still 100% human and ready to fight God.

Now I needed to add weight to these changes, so I wrote 200k of build-up.

Am I proud of these fics?

OF COURSE I AM!!! These are the longest fics I’ve ever written AND finished AND in the fastest freakin turnaround ever (both were finished writing, barring edits, in like 6 months holy shit)

I didn’t write a single scene that I “didn’t” want to write. If I had trouble writing it, as in it was fighting me, I scrapped it. Most obviously was the scene in Dean’s pov where he and Sam were intended to meet some other hunters and Dean declines working with them because he’s nervous about being outed as queer. It was meant to be a good scene! I wanted to introduce some new characters! But it just wasn’t working so I said ‘thank you, next!’.

But it means this story was an absolute joy to write. Because for a while all I was doing was ‘if I wanted to write one scene into supernatural, what would I write?’ and then just DID that!! It’s why there’s a lot of ‘Salmondean do dumb shit or have really dumb heartfelt conversations’ scenes.

Would I change anything?

If I’d been less eager to start sharing, I might have planned out the story beats a little tighter so there were less ‘soft’ chapters and a draw/pull for people to come back and keep reading. I felt Dean’s story specifically lagged at points and could have used some tighter editing (there was a noticeable lull in directed movement between Dean n Cas getting together, until Sam corrupts Amy).

I also probably would have held Sam’s story until I’d finished Dean’s so I could make the two line up better! Probably could have inserted more scenes into Sam’s fic that way, and made sure things were a little more consistent. In an ideal world one concept I had was to release 1 chapter from each pov every week that would correspond to the same time frame so we’d be getting real-time SalmonDean pov narrative. Unfortunately that didn’t work!

The biggest takeaway overall is for me to focus more on what moves the plot, and to make my scenes do more than 1 thing so I can cut down on wordcount and increase my efficiency.

Of course every writer will find things they want to fix in anything they’ve ever written, so these are minor “mistakes” at best. I’m so dang proud of these fics.

Onto more interesting things!

How Did I Put These Fics Together (because it’s different than anything I’ve ever done before)

Normally when I write a story, I plan out the beats I need to hit, see where I need to insert any kind of foreshadowing/buildup, and then write from A to B to C and so on and so forth. Hence, this is why I can normally post things as I complete chapters, because it’s all a linear progression.

For these two stories, rather than linear plot/a normal story structure, I just sat and free-wrote any and every scene that came to mind and then pieced them into a kinda-linear form like putting a quilt together. You’ll note that this is why there’s not a lot of internal callback or a feeling of sense of time flowing within the fic (save for points where I went back and specifically edited it in). How long does the story take place over? Hard to say! Your author has the barest grasp on linear time even on a good day (how many times did I say ‘see you on [wrong day]’ at the end of chapters lmaaoooo)

This also meant EXTENSIVE editing on the back end once I decided in what order I wanted my ‘quilt pieces’ to be. Hard to say if this is a bonus or a negative!

But I did want to try and capture the vibe of the lives they lead, as a bit of a ‘slice of life’-style story, when the slice of life is the profound weirdness of the Winchester roaming life, and how things are status quo- until everyone almost dies oh shit!! And then they have to keep living because no therapy we die/undie like Winchesters. Do I think I captured this effectively? Hmm. Good question.

Dem where the FUCK did the inspiration for a lot of the magic and creature weirdness even come from?

Honestly? Music, primarily. And completely mishearing lyrics!

Nightwish ‘Ever Dream’: the line is ‘my song can but borrow you grace’ and because my brain is scrambled eggs on a good day, I heard ‘grace’ ‘song’ and ‘borrow’ in that order and have had, for YEARS, the mental image of Cas borrowing Dean’s soul to power himself up for battle.

From there I’ve always been enamored with the ‘wavelength of celestial intent’ descriptor that Cas drops in s6 for “what he is”.

I also really like ocean metaphors mostly because I’ve been obsessed with the ocean and things in it since I was like… 5??? So really this was me just rolling with what I know lmao. I love using (somewhat) accurate scientific metaphors for very intangible things!

I was also finishing my degree in biology/ecology while writing these fics and I think it shows

Stars ‘The Night Starts Here’ gives us the series title and the fic titles. Except for ‘To Exist Again’. TEA was almost titled ‘The Upwards Fall’ because I wanted all 3 of the Main Stories to have titles from this song, but I couldn’t make anything else work in tandem with the series name ‘The Love It Takes’ while also working for Sam’s personal story. So Sam, as always, is the rebel <3

Stars ‘Up In Our Bedroom, After The War’ is basically the vibes of the whole story. TFW has been, literally, to hell and back!!! There’s a bit of melancholy and sadness, a lingering dark, but the chance of a bright new tomorrow and a soft start.

Let’s Talk About Themes in The Story! What were you looking to accomplish?

My earliest notes for TFW are, as follows:

Dean’s journey of self-discovery (who am I when I’m not trying to be Dad?)

Dean wants to settle down! He wants a big family! He wants to be domestic!

Basically: Dean doesn’t want to have a short life of hunting. He wants to live!

Dean’s journey of realizing he’s bi, and him accepting that

Dean’s relationship to Sam is both older brother/parent

And continuing Dean balancing these roles while also letting Sam be an adult

Dean’s Big Issues/Fears about never being good enough for people to want to stay with him (these are effectively highlighted in that Cas thinks he’s not useful enough to be wanted)

Sub Plot:

Castiel’s autonomy

Cas’ fall from grace, to trying to restore Heaven, to wrecking it further

He’s majorly depressed by the end of s7 (before purgatory)

Wants to stay in Purgatory but doesn’t tell Dean

Remains depressed after leaving, but resolved to keep living on because he’s clearly meant for something

After the seraphim reveal: does he have free will?! How does he grapple with this? How does he live in a way he can be proud of?

And lastly

Sam gets his powers back CAUSE THATS HOT

where tf did they go????

he got them from Lucifer?????

sleeper agent??????

Sam is The Chosen One

Accepts that he is More Than Human and to celebrate all parts of him

Lucifer and Sam friends?? Work together????

Sam needs autonomy in his choices/his life

If you compare these to the overall arc of TFW within the two stories, I think I got a lot of them! But you’ll also note a lot of these things aren’t concrete goals that are easily measurable (ex: Dean wants to learn to bake pie. In chapter 1 he starts a fire in the kitchen. By the end of the story he finally makes A Good Pie.) part of the lack of concrete milestones was why I felt it was important to tell Dean (and Cas’) story by going back to the point they meet, in s4! Dean’s gradual change towards his feelings for Cas, his relationship to Sam (heavily influenced by the s7 events of this fic) and then his own relationship with himself were such slow burns that I felt it would be a disservice to try and cram a change like that into a timeline like “1 year”.

I felt like these subtle changes and adjustments actually felt a lot truer to life-- people often change in very small, gradual ways over time, even without realizing it and often times not consistently! If only we could all gain skills like the sims, where we can easily level up and remain at that high level of performance!

So the Guy Who Ate Satan, A Celestial Nuke that Developed Sentience, and Dean walk into a bar…

Sam’s story in Spn The Show has always been a ‘chosen one’ kind of narrative. Sam is living with one foot in the realm of the monsters, and I wanted to bring that back full force! It really makes sense for him that he should only continue to grow in power, might, and magic!! As the story progresses.

Cas also got a power up! I do desperately love in the show that he was kind of a grunt/nothing angel, and so even when he defected to TFW he was a huge help for them, but in the scale of things he was an annoying fly to most other angels. It really worked for the underdog story of s4/5. In this I wanted to give him a power up, and originally it was actually going to be close contact with Sam that eventually changed Cas into something unknown (you can still see traces of this in ch34 of TBAM, where Death remarks ‘Castiel could be [Sam’s] first creation’. But for a combo of reasons: how Sam’s magic needed to have intent, the entire concept of free will and consent, and how much I wanted Dean and Cas to have their effect on each other, I decided to go with the route that Cas has actually always been something angel-adjacent rather than becoming something new. TFW/Supernatural has always been about free will and making your own story, so I amplified that with Cas.

Dean has always been A Normal Guy, which is part of the appeal of him and Sam (2 normal dudes!) taking on the Very Not Normal. As explained above, Sam’s story is ‘normal guy finds out he’s the chosen one’ and so, in a story about very large concepts and huge monsters and acts of magic, I felt it was very important to keep Dean as normal as possible. To the point it became a running gag to me, personally, in that ‘no matter what cool shit happens around him, Dean has to stay as Just A Guy’. And it’s a very humanizing role that allows the story to have the scale it does!

What were the most important themes in your story?

Sam’s Autonomy

I wasn’t even going to include the plot about Lucifer’s death in this story— that was going to come up in a later story, actually! And rather than Sam having ate Lucifer, the original idea was that they’d become a SamandLucifer entity (this harkens back to a concept I wanted to write when Swan Song first aired).

That storyline would have involved a lot of mental ‘Sam and Lucifer discuss what it means to live, which one of them is more worthy of life and if they do deserve to destroy the world for the pain they’ve been forced to go through, just to create the dichotomy of good and evil for everyone else’ discussions. There would be a lot of talk about how Sam hates and fears Lucifer for the pain Lucifer put on Sam, how Lucifer hates Sam because he and Sam are the same but Sam’s brother loves him anyways, etc.

Ultimately that was scrapped because Sam’s entire story in the show is always about how the world and everyone around him manipulates him and that he never actually gets to make choices about his own life or body that aren’t influenced or part of someone elses’ design. And that always bothered me that Sam was never allowed to be himself without having to be ashamed of it, and I wanted to make sure that Sam’s triumph of being proud of himself/proudly choosing to exist (again) was evident in his story

In the end I needed Sam to have this visceral win over his tormentor. As the story shows, in this case Lucifer was abused and put into a position where he was incapable of empathy and could only express himself in violence. Sam even understands this! But it doesn’t change the fact that Lucifer tortured Sam in unimaginable ways for thousands of years.

With that in mind I didn’t like the idea of Lucifer and Sam having “co-ownership” of their new identity, so I made the choice that Sam had to be the survivor. This tied in well with Sam’s new crusade to restore free will to the universe, because he’s breaking the narrative of his own story!

While Castiel wasn’t a pov character, his own autonomy and free will was equally as important. You’ll note that many, many paragraphs and conversations revolved around that theme and that in the end Cas followed himself (and love!) which ensured his freedom of self <3

The Brothers are WEIRD PEOPLE!!!! And Codependent to a Worrying Degree, but It’s Also How They Survive

It’s very hard to show “unusual” relationships when you’re writing from the pov of the two people who don’t think there’s anything weird about their relationship. Sure, they say ‘yeah it’s probably weird that we still share a bed’ but that’s kinda more in line with ‘I had a nightmare and I want to be close to the person who makes me feel safe’. Hashtag normalize co-sleeping when you need it!!!

From there I did try to point out how the boys have a weird perception of lifestyle in the little things they did.

From thrifting everything from clothes to appliances to books (thrifting is a valid lifestyle! It’s incredibly handy when you’re on a budget.)

To never actually having condiments or knowing how to use a dishwasher cause they’ve lived in a car, a motel room, or squatted in old houses their whole life.

I tried to have them wear each others’ clothes or casually swap things as much as possible. They live out of each others’ pockets!

Also the brothers are just weird people!! It’s hard to show from their pov, cause they don’t know how far off from normal they are, but like…

Everything about Sam and Amelia was NOT right like holy shit those two were wilding in their grief. They are very lucky things worked out for them and that they got to be hashtag Weird Girls together

Dean explicitly, in the story, gets horny after killing stuff!! Violence has done a number on his psyche and he’s gotten some wires crossed that maybe shouldn’t have been, or maybe could be worked out in a safe space but… uh… how likely do we think Dean is gonna go find a safe space to deal with any of his shit???

LOVE!!! Love is truly what this whole story is all about

If you’ve read the stories, you know how much emphasis I put on love. Love is the strongest force in the Spn Universe! It’s what averted the apocalypse and saved the world (Swan Song), it’s what created free will (Cas’ entire arc!) I love love!!!!

I went out of my way to not put any definitions on platonic love vs romantic love because I think love is love is love and how you express that is the difference. Neither is more powerful than the other because LOVE is powerful!! Sam and Cas are the most important people in Dean’s life and he loves them equally! He shows this by giving Cas kisses and stealing Sam’s socks.

It’s a personal pet peeve of mine when I have to hear explanations like ‘I love you, like a brother’ or ‘I love you, but like, as a friend because I’m a lesbian and you’re a man’ etc etc in media. If you have to continuously define how your characters love each other, then I don’t think you’re doing a good job of portraying their relationship. So you’ll see that I never put those parameters in any conversation. Dean DOES muse that he loves Cas differently than he loves Sam or Bobby, specifically because there is a romantic and sexual tone that his feelings for Cas takes, but not because he loves Cas more or less than he loves Sam or Bobby.

Which means, if you haven’t realized it yet, the Series + Fic Titles are meant to be a complete sentence because the power of love IS the thesis of this series:

The Love It Takes To Exist Again (Sam’s journey!)

The Love It Takes To Become a Man (Dean’s journey!)

The Love It Takes To Destroy a Man (TBA)

And now for fun stuff. Behind the scenes!!

What’s Something People Probably Don’t Know?

The demonic fungal/hydrothermal vent growth on Sam’s arm was thrown in literally as I was posting the chapter because I had just finished a 48 hour cram session of writing a report on tube worms for an ecology class (I was chanting my tube worm song as I wrote it) and it ended up being a HUGE hit with both readers and myself. But it was so last minute I had trouble fitting it in more throughout the rest of Sam’s story!

Cas’ orders? That may or may not have bound him to Dean and removed his free will? Were written into Sam’s story and I went ‘oh SHIT that’s compelling’ and then left them there as a ‘guess I’ll figure that out when I get to Dean’s story lol’

Originally Dean and Cas were supposed to get together after having their souls bonded, and have been in a UST limbo the entire time before that. Mostly because I think the entire concept of ‘we just got married of the soul I guess we should try dating?’ is very funny. CLEARLY the two of them were way more eager to fall in love than I anticipated (thank you Cas for your honesty) but you can still see shades of this original idea here and there (especially in ch35 of TBAM)

I never intended Dean and Benny to connect so well!! Benny was going to reunite with Andrea, she was going to live, and they were going to go off into the world and leave the story. And, uh, here we are. I’m still debating if I need to adjust the relationship tag or not haha. Polyamory is fun, especially when I was planning for Sam to be the polyamorous brother...

Speaking of, I can’t believe I forgot about Sam and his sexuality! If I rewrote TEA I would have had Sam contemplate more on his lack of sexual appetite due to trauma, up until he meets Benny and he gets to rediscover how he wants to be a sexual person

Many of Sam and Dean’s absolutely stupid sibling conversations were lifted near-verbatim from conversations I’ve had with my siblings

And lastly...

Dem where’s Kevin????????????? Where is our sweet baby boy????????

He’s SAFE!! He’s in the Hunter pipeline somewhere cause Sam handed him off to Bobby’s people. He and his mom are safe and at some point they probably got rib sigils like SalmonDean did against angels, but for demons. I didn’t have room in this story for him!!! But my baby boy is SAFE and I want to get him back to university because it’s WHAT HE DESERVES!!!!

To that point: god there were/are SO many characters that I just didn’t include in the story so far because I didn’t feel comfortable including them without stalling the story for them. To that point: pretty much everyone who is alive/dead in s8 is that way in this story, except Bobby who gets to live.

[Check Out Part 2 for reader questions!]

#the love it takes series #to exist again fic #to become a man fic #dem speaks

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