#i. am laughing way too hard

[mjn-air]

Martin core

MARTIN CORE

[vienrosa]

"There's a very peculiar feeling to this whole area. I'm atonished you can't feel it." GOOD OMENS (2019-)

[the-darkestminds]

why do you insist that the men of acotar are all gay lol

HAHA bc im being silly but I shall indulge you anon.

okay there's no explicit writing on the page that states these characters are Gay but there are a few curious things sjm included that give me pause (don't take this post too seriously lmao):

-we learn that the bat boys used to have sex with females at the same time, in the same room as each other. so they have all seen each other naked and erect. do with that what you will.

-they hang out in the steam shower together naked. apparently this is a thing straight men do in real life too because of sports or something. idk. but if you're naked with another man, surely the thought has crossed your mind at least once? perchance? ill let you ponder that. at the very least they are looking at each other's junk trying to decide whose is the biggest. (I am a woman so idk i'm just making this up as I go).

-cassian woke up one solstice completely naked with nothing but a wig on. he had been partying with rhys and azriel. there were no females around. this gives me pause. sir, why are you naked?

-they are OLD AS FUKKKK yo come on they must get bored. nothing can phase you after 500+ years on earth. imagine how desensitized they must get. like surely they would do it just to see what all the fuss is about.

-cassian was jealous when azriel's full attention was no longer on him. interesting.......

-azriel whispering in eris's ear. PLSSS ik he said something dirty. anon is it not so much more fun to think he was like "next time choke on my cock" instead of "I am going to skin you alive"? come on. BORING. no more tired death threats!! I need more depth to this feud. get over yourself boo. Ik you liked eris underneath you. who wouldn't

-we learn that rhys apparently taught tamlin how to bed females. how? LOL I know rhys was like "here tamlin let me show you what females like in bed" and took off all of his clothes.

[ferronickel]

Thinking bout the time someone yelled at me because they didn't understand butches.

[sebastian-ciel-mutual-bullying]

"Everything, down to the last hair on my head, belongs to my master"

In Volume 1, we get to see Sebastian going about his morning routine. There's a panel that interested me for a few reasons.

First, it makes me question just how "human" his body is. (I'll be making a masterpost on his human body soon) He made it so that his hair grows naturally, but then says that he can't trim it as he pleases.

Meaning, does Ciel not allow him to decide when to cut his own hair?

Then in Volume 3 we have this dialogue during Sebastian's fight with Grelle

Which sounds like he's just saying "every hair on his head" to further his point.

BUT I think it'd be so dorky of him to mean that literally.

Like, this man purposefully grows out his hair and waits for Ciel to tell him when to cut it. All while internally whining about how troublesome human bodies are.

Does he just get so into the role of "Butler" that he chooses to stress the details?

I'm sure this is only a coincidence, but oh, man,

"I hope the young master does not scold me for cutting my own hair. Per our contract, every part of my being belongs to him. However, its length has become unruly due to his inattentiveness"

[wanderingblindly]

Hi sweetheart!!!!!!!!!!!! for the drabble thingy, 9, D, sebchal👀💖 love you💖💖

oh my god this was so fucking fun to write, thank you for the GENIUS prompt choice love!!!! cranked this out before i went to bed, i hope you enjoy the slight crack vibes!!!!

prompts here xx

Oops! All Twink Death (Charles Leclerc/Sebastian Vettel, 1k words)

His head is too far up on the pillow.

In fact, it’s all wrong; the sheets are pulled up too high, not pooled around his feet like they usually are. There's a second pillow pressed up against his back -- actually, why is he sleeping on his side? He's been a stomach sleeper his entire life.

Sebastian groans, rolling over. It's never a good sign to break routine on a race weekend, especially when it's so easy for the smallest detail to linger like a rain cloud overhead -- a constant feeling of wrong-footedness. Cutting his losses, he peels back the sheets and flings his legs over the edge of the bed, slamming them onto the floor with much more force than usual.

Is the bed… lower?

His feet shouldn't touch the floor that quickly.

His hands grip the edge of the bed as he stares down at his feet. Suddenly, he catches it from the corner of his eye -- longer fingers, more pronounced veins on the back of his tanned hands, and well-manicured nails. His stomach lurches when he brain catches up, a panicked confusion building in his throat.

Because those aren't his hands. Sebastian knows these hands, knows the way they feel against tongue and teeth and flesh. Faster than a jump start, Sebastian flies off the bed -- tripping over his bigger feet -- and stumbles over to the bathroom mirror.

In Charles's distinct accent, he gasps: "What the fuck."

Frantic knocking on his hotel door confirms his immediate thoughts: that should be Charles with his body, then.

With careful steps, his new center of gravity more unsettling than sailing rough seas, Sebastian moves to open the door. "You'll wake the neighbo--"

"What did you do?!" Charles cuts him off, pushing his way into the room and grabbing Sebastian -- himself? -- by the wrist, dragging them both away from the door.

"What did I do?" He scoffs, both a little offended and amused as Charles paces across the room, tugging his hands through his hair agitatedly. It's bizarre, seeing Charles's youthful and expressive body language on himself -- almost like a return to a Sebastian long-gone.

"Well of course it wasn't me!"

"I mean, at least we switched with each other?" Sebastian offers, moving to sit down on the bed. He pats the space next to him, encouraging Charles to come tangle in his arms; maybe it's best if they both calm down first. "Because, well, it could be worse, right?"

"Could it?" Charles asks, voice pinched and eyes bright -- nearly manic. "I'm old, Sebastian!"

Ouch.

Sebastian smiles wryly. "Oh are you?"

If Sebastian didn't have the hottest driver on the grid wrapped around his finger -- if he hadn't always had the most desirable drivers under his thumb -- then maybe that would have hurt. But as it is, Charles acting like a panicked, distressed kitten is almost endearing -- batting at him without claws.

"It's --!" He stutters, finally freezing to stare over at his own body; Sebastian looks like a cat eyeing it's prey. "It's not old on you, but on me! I'm old!"

Sebastian didn't realize his accent got so heavy when his body was angry, nor that he could still blush so much.

"No wonder Mark always wanted to sleep with me," He smiles, eyeing his body up and down slowly. "I see the, hm. Appeal."

"Oh my god, it is not the time to be --!" Charles flutters his hands about, waving vaguely between the both of them. "We're fucked, Seb! And you already know what they are saying about me on Twitter, that my beard is --"

"Really hot?" Sebastian perks up, still trying to steer the conversation in a more… palatable direction.

"That it makes me look like I'm in, you know, twink death." He says it with derision, like speaking the words sealed his fate.

He can't help but laugh, laughing harder when he sees Charles's blush deepen -- running down his neck and towards his chest. "I'm sure you won't twink die, or whatever you're reading --"

"Twink death, Seb." He sounds nearly on the brink of tears -- god, yeah, Mark really had a point here.

Clearly it's not about being in Sebastian's body, really. It's something bigger.

"Oh Charles," Sebastian sighs, reaching his arms out to grab Charles's wrist; he never realized how small his hands are compared to Charles's before, the feeling of wrapping his fingers around him so easily makes him lightheaded.

Anyways.

He tugs Charles onto the bed, landing next to him with a pout. "You've never looked better than you do right now," Sebastian whispers in his ear, snagging his teeth on Charles's -- his? -- earlobe, the way he knows his body likes.

Charles shudders, Sebastian's hot breath on his sensitive skin surely sending shivers down his spine. Encouraged, Sebastian grabs Charles's hands and slides them under his shirt, pressing them against Charles's body's torso. "Do you know how much I love how big you feel now?"

"Seb," Charles whines, voice delightfully needy; Sebastian can't decide if he likes it better in his or Charles's accent. "That's not, you know that's not what I --" Sebastian pulls his hands up further, tracing the paths he's learned elicits a shudder from Charles's body.

He grazes his nipples, and his breath catches. God, is this what it always feels like for him?

"Wanna fuck about it?" Sebastian asks, mischievous smile on his lips, the feeling sharp and confident with Charles's beautiful mouth.

"Oh Jesus," Charles falls forward, burying his face in Sebastian's neck.

"Yeah?"

"Fuck, yeah. Yeah, ok."

Problem solved, probably. The self-esteem part, anyways. The body problem can wait until later, probably.

[dennisboobs]

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

↳ moments that make me cry

[dark-elf-writes]

I need you to know this occurred to me out of nowhere and I could not do anything until I made this exact image

[curarems]

The Watchmen, Snuff, seeing their boss off as he goes on holiday, illustrated:

[thebirdandhersong]

Okay y'all it is over it is done the conversation has been had he knows I love him we are still friends I have cried my eyes out properly I have laughed again my heart will keep on hurting for a while but it is FINISHED

[skiploom]

[pama-saga]

I have to tell y'all, if you make fanart I will appreciate it forever, even if it's a damn scribble or if the character is 50 gazillion degrees different I will still enjoy it

[gingersnapwolves]

would you fuck your clone ft. not me

[squidd-ink]

I saw this cat video on Instagram and immediately knew what I had to do…

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hour 14 of taking a break from art for the sake of my tendons: i am Wailing and Keening and Scratching Forlornly At My Tablet