#i-65

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[grovylelover]

people who know

[theheadlesshearseman]

[ozcarr]

Every time I remember this specific box set design exists I laugh so hard I cry

[regulusrules]

Welcome to my usual metas where we hyperfixate over Arthur Pendragon’s love for Merlin. Today’s episode features this scene right here:

To remind you of the context, it was s03e12 when Camelot was besieged and Arthur just ordered Gaius, Gwaine, and Elyan to go find shelter in the woods. A second later, he looks at Merlin, diverts his eyes, and tells him, “Merlin, you should go with them.”

Which btw translates, in Arthur Pendragon's dictionary, to: Merlin, I want you safe, I want you away from harm’s way, but Merlin, Oh Merlin, don’t leave me. I really don’t want you to leave me. I sustain my strength from you. You’re the bravest man I have ever met. I keep going because I know you’re there. Don’t go and leave me. I am urging you to go, but please don’t believe me.

I really just can’t. Because you guys, Arthur isn’t scared to go fight an entire army of the dead. He’s not scared that he is limping and injured and definitely won’t make it. He’s just scared to do it without Merlin.

And when Merlin looks at him and says, “Nah, I’ve seen the woods already”, Arthur knows Merlin had heard it all, and chose the kindest response possible that doesn’t spot on his worry and fear.

Those fucking two.

[vela-pulsars]

"While it could use its psychic abilities in battle, this Pokémon prefers to swing its powerful arms around to beat opponents into submission."

[inspisart]

dick took the news that a strange thirteen year old broke into his apartment while he was away at the circus pretty well, I gotta say

[yamimichi]

Eastern Blvd connects Clarksville and Jeffersonville. And my apartment complex is just off of the Jeff side of the border. I can't tell you how many accidents happen around that overpass. Several a week at least.

[approximateknowledge]

once you learn enough about evolutionary biology you start seeing ghosts everywhere

[hiroshotreplica]

chimera falin introduction scene in the alternate universe where labru is canon or something i dont knowh

thank god that chimera shit isnt genetic am i right guys (crushed by a thousand stones)

[medicalunprofessional]

never change, man !

[clarkgriffon]

Willow Rosenberg + Outfits (Season 5)

[theheadlesshearseman]

[agendratum]

kiseki: dear to me as text posts (3/?)

[gendernewtral]

gay bitches who care about doctor who enough to answer this question: if your favorite version of the doctor asked, where would you go? lame answers accepted

[seagull-scribbles]

All of my Out of Touch Turts-day for easy comparison 💕

Which one is your favourite?

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